Thursday, May 25, 2017

To Blog Or Read My Book?

I don't have anything to blog about, so I should just read my book, but I guess I'll try. The most important thing yesterday is I got my garden in. I may throw in some carrots, and more beans, but it is pretty much done. I thought it was going to rain more last night and today,  but the weather changed. I'll have to water it the next couple days.

I find myself needing less sleep. I am staying up later yet still able to get up early. I got stuff for meals for the rest of the weekend,  and really for all of next week too. I have a day off Monday too.

All in all not too shabby. Our last big expense is done too. I saved, and upgraded my dental package. That was an extra $1000, but saved is the operative word. No financing. June is 5 weeks, and Lisa gets paid 3 times,  so we'll be able to save pretty quickly again.

Pretty good when the day to day goes pretty good.

Other than that not much going on. I don't have much to say. Outside of here I think I remain pretty quiet. Maybe I am just not interested in much. I see myself reading more. That might say something. That is more interesting than anything else?  

I got a show on Netflix I like a lot. We watch an episode or two or three. It is why I stay up late I think. Let's watch just one more, and one more after that. I still find myself getting up before my alarm. I think with stiff drinks you need more sleep. Who knew?     ;)

Well this update is dumb. It happens. Now off to my book. 


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Direction From Here.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I slept good last night. I slept in a bit today kinda. Still up early enough to go to work if I had to, so not really sleeping in crazy. I was going to blog,  then not. Grabbed a 2nd cup of coffee, so I decided why not.

So where do we go from here?  I don't know. I am just going to do my thing. I don't place too much importance in me, cuz I am just one person living a life. Like you all really. We are different though. I know what my life is about,  and I know the importance of it,  or lack there of.

I don't really have anything to prove to you. Unlike you I have no need to strive after wind. All our sacrifices = $0. You can't know that or understand it, cuz you have to travel down far along my path to get there. You seek for points,  and they aren't yours to take. You falsely tally up your points too, because unknown to you zero is the amount you have collected.

No amount of sacrifice will help you. The truth will help you,  but the truth comes with fear. If you have no fear, than your heart is really bad.

The World goes on. You don't make sense of it, cuz it just isn't that great. The World is divided cuz it will always be. People kill as a way to falsely think they collect points.

People falsely teach in weird outfits, and nice suits. They have great make up people to make them look flawless on the outside. They make you feel secure saying they have the answer and the way. Many are under their power. It takes a lot to overcome all the bad leaven you've collected over the years. Everyone is a false teacher too, cuz it is impossible for you not to be. You yourself unknowingly try to lead many astray.

The path of you is a very bad route. You have no idea. It keeps the truth away. Your 10.0 instagram fantabulous Olympic score doesn't mean anything.

In the end we don't mean anything. Somewhere along the way you have to deal with you. Instagram won't help. Make up won't help. Clothes, costumes, and uniforms won't help. You have no idea how lost we are just being born here.

A tough message. I know that. I lived it. Accepted,  and kept moving on. I did not go astray even though my future looked bleak. I was smart to be obedient,  even though I was mad.

Anyhoo. Today I have a day off. I have a split appointment. 9:00 for an impression, and the afternoon to get my final thing. Pretty exciting.

Cya.  :)

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Another Post.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I am up way earlier than need be, but I feel I am done sleeping so.

Not much happened this past weekend. I read some books and listened to some books. I worked,  and stayed up later than normal. I tried blogging yesterday,  but it was dumb. I was tired yesterday too,  cuz I stayed up too late. Today,  I am up way earlier than I need to be.

Other than that not much going on. There is a holiday this weekend so I'll get a day off. I have a day off tomorrow,  but for an appointment.

If you want news of my drinking one day a week, that ain't happening. Instead of 3-4 stiff drinks though, I may have 3-4 coors lights. That makes a difference. It is basically like drinking water. You don't really get buzzed, and you don't want to drink much more of that. It gives you the relaxing feeling without the stiff drink stupidity. You don't end up stupid.

Other than that I read a lot. I have a meal, and I've been watching a show on Netflix. We do some cleaning and whatnot and we have some projects.

A boring life for sure, but aren't they all. Everybody in their mind is doing so much important stuff, but you aren't. There isn't anything really lasting and significant to do. You don't know that,  cuz you are a creature of this place. You can't see past uniforms,  and suits,  and clothes. You look on the outside,  and all the important stuff is inside.

Your World is pictures, and the most interesting thing about people is what's on the inside. What is in your inside isn't perfect. Even if you score a 10.0 in your instagram fantabulous Olympic score.

The thing I know about all people is you didn't do it all right. You carved out some little niche in life. It isn't totally what you expected, cuz you today are different than you yesterday. 5 and 10 year plans got jumbled,  cuz you thought you would always be the same. Maybe you are in the same life, but things sure look different than you thought they would.

Wanna know why. Your heart deceives you. It doesn't stay the same. You may try to force it to act in such a way... to keep a high score in your instagram Olympic score, but you don't control it.

You don't control you. Your mind has thoughts you'd like to block out. Things that may be inappropriate if others knew.

We can dress ourselves in acceptable clothes, but what can you do about the inside you? 

Why do you not have any control over you?  I know why.

Hint:  it is a pretty dark secret. The truth is pretty ugly. Some things I cannot really teach you while you are still a creature of this World.

End note:  I just used Instagram as an example. Do NOT follow me on instagram. I don't use it. I once had an account, but I don't use it anymore. I am not the type of person who really cares about pictures. Obviously.

Anyhoo. I guess that's good. 

Have a good one.  :)

Friday, May 19, 2017

The Nameless People.

So anyway I live pretty close to the Heinz factory. Many days you can tell it must be pickle day, cuz you smell the vinegar. I pass it regularly as I bike to work. I probably pass it around 5:20 AM give or take. I often see people walking up to enter the building and start their shift. These are the nameless people. What is their life about?  Many of these people are Hispanic. I wonder what they do for dinner? 

Another Heinz employee is a neighbor of mine. I know this, cuz when I was driving to work on a Sunday around 5:30 AM a whole ago, he was driving too. He parked at the Heinz factory. Yesterday I saw him walking his 2 dogs. He had the blank stare on his face of a nameless person.

I took Hope to the park yesterday. I shot the basketball, and threw a ball for Hope. I think she enjoyed sprinting after it. I came home and relaxed out front. I had a few beers. No one was outside. It was probably the nicest days we had, and no one was outside. What do people do? 

I thought of that this morning before I got up I guess. I had another wake up early day. During and after dinner last night we watched a couple more "How to get away with murder" shows.

A day happened yesterday. I didn't do anything real significant. It was such a nice day out I knew I was going to the park. It's always empty. I knew I wanted to make burgers, cuz we haven't done 'em in forever.

I woke up early today, once again to the surprise of my wife. Where has she been all these years?   Whenever I am a first shifter I typically wake up early.

Today is before me, and I have no idea what little pointless things will make it up. I need to buy tomato plants. It is kinda a pain,  cuz I bike to work. I could always drive, but I hate that. Biking is what I'd rather do. It's just fun in the morning. Driving is a chore. Biking is just fun. A good start I guess.

Anyway, enough of this dumb blog.

Til tomorrow probably.

Have fun.   :)

Thursday, May 18, 2017

The Most Significant Thing Yesterday.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am good. I got a good night sleep last night. I think I stayed up later than normal the night before,  cuz I was tired after work.

I remember thinking of sleeping in, and I did. Then I thought maybe I'd over sleep. I worried about that. Instead of sleeping for an extra 3 hours like I thought I just did,  I slept an extra half hour. :)  then I was up.

Anyway yesterday when I was up I kinda just sat there and thought of how I felt I guess. I had a feeling of peace inside. I had nothing to worry about at all. I had the same thought later too. Just doing my thing at work. The work day will end, and my life is filled with very little to no 'have to' 

Hard to explain I guess just very little stress I guess cuz that is how my days are. I think of how other people are, and I know people very little. It is hard for me to step in your shoes cuz all people take your route except me. I went a different way. Everyone starts on the same route. Me too. It is a route of society,  and propaganda. Family pressures to do this and that. Societal pressures to be an upstanding citizen. Perhaps religious pressures. We all at one time are a slave to something.

People strive, join a group. Our group is right. I put forth effort in this. I am a Saint cuz I worked harder than such and such. I'm a Saint cuz I fought for a Country. I'm a Saint cuz I killed for God. Everyone knows the story of Noah. In that regard people who kill for God are dumb. He doesn't need help in that area.

Anyway people are born to be one of the multitudes. To seek a different way you have to throw everything out. Upbringing, society,  religion,  lack of religion. Reason being is it all may be wrong. Why should you be a product of anything else?  You are alone in this World. Accountable for your actions. In the end you'll find nothing was really that important. The important thing is the truth, but the World hides the truth. It is hidden behind centuries and centuries of a bad History. The World colors history in pretty colors.

The World and life is ugly. Our insides are kinda dark. Perfection is not near us. Perfection is the thing most people gloss over. It's not possible so why worry?

Who says it's not possible?   Just cuz you can't do it then it can't be done?

Are you sure?   You gonna bet everything on that,  cuz that is the path you are on. Like everyone else,  except me.

Anyway the most significant thing for me yesterday was I had nothing to worry about. It is a gift from my labor that started somewhere in the early '90s. Probably '90 or '91.

The story isn't done, but my labor is kinda. I know my story,  and these days I have no clue of yours. I don't know what part you play,  and I accept maybe none.

Accepting stuff is easy for me, cuz I had to accept a lot of stuff. Harsh stuff. Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations, and those just made me strong. Not perfect yet, just strong.

Strong enough to stand on my own. I will be weak again when I do my final thing, cuz after that this person will be no more. I will be different. The stuff inside me now that makes perfection impossible has to leave me,  and I have to have the perfect stuff come inside me.

Only one way that happens,  and that story has been hidden for a long time.

Anyway. It is raining, so I'll make another coffee,  and read my book.

Later.   :)

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

I Didn't Get Tired.

So yesterday went pretty well. Work was fine. I got my next 2 books at the library. I came home,  and cut the grass. I also got my 15-17 year old gas powered trimmer running. Last week I couldn't. I switched out the gas,  and let it idle for a while. It worked like a charm. That thing makes trimming very easy. I also got my garden ready to go.

Being active and getting things done gives you hope that just maybe we can get all the things done. I cooked some chops on the grill, and that was the day pretty much. I finished book 6 in my series, and went to bed. I also have an idea of what I'll be doing today. A project in mind outside. Maybe the change of seasons gives you another look, and more energy.

That is about it for me. Not much else going on. Not much real significant going on with me. Staying active. A 50 year old just living life. At the age of 50 you figure your days are about  2/3 done.

The thing about my life is my memories are all washed away. I had a story,  and I lived it. None of it even seems important anymore. I guess when you eventually process your life that is what happens. It no longer is of real consequence.

I stand on my own 2 feet too. Secure in my route, and who I am. I know there is another thing to do, but I don't know when. In previous times I think I had an idea how this blog was supposed to go, and others too. As to mine it just goes on. As to others I have no idea the significance, if any.

I think in some way I was supposed to get to know people. These days I don't think you really do. If people were courageous before of letting others in, I don't see it so much anymore.

People have a view of how their life is "supposed" to be. It's your life. You call the shots. You are the master of your 5 and 10 year plans. You will manipulate all events to make your plans come true. 

You've been in that spot for years now. Not much has changed really. People are just older,  and life has moved on. If possible people know you less.

What does that mean?  I am not really sure. I think I just thought this was supposed to go some place. Many have disappeared. So now I have no clue.

It doesn't matter though,  cuz my heart is content. This story is not mine to worry about. I am not calling the shots. I am just waiting for the thing I know I must do. The hidden answer. I have no clue anymore about you really.

I do know today I have work. I got stuff I want to get done today after. I can start book 7 now in my series. I guess in a life full of 'have to' I have very little of that. That is a weight many would probably like to lose.

Here is a hint about that. Lack of 'have to' has to do with a heart lacking that. Content and happy as far as those things go. I wonder how you struggle with that?   Without help much of life is a grind. A lot to do, and only so much time.

Anyway. Off I go to my book.

Cya.   :)

Monday, May 15, 2017

The Weekend Just Flew By.

It is already Monday. Nothing major happened this weekend. I worked a bit. I walked in a parade. I listened to a book, and read some of my other. I sat outside,  cuz it was sunny. I cooked on Saturday, and grilled on Sunday. Today I have to work,  and cut the grass. I probably should go to the library too to get a couple more books in my series. I am flying through them. Also we started watching 'How to get away with murder'

So life goes on. I think we will be close to 80° a lot this week. I have a lot of stuff to do I will never accomplish. Life comes at you at many angles. Should I read or clean?   Should I have two cups of coffee?     What should I have for dinner?  

Life is pretty crazy and pretty busy. I think it is good to have stuff to do though. I never really have a weekend so Monday never really feels like Monday. I get out at 2:00 PM at the latest anyway so I have time. Like today I was up before 3:00 AM so I don't just wake up and go to work.

I guess I just live my life. Nothing really important going on, and not much to stress about. I guess we all wish money would come in faster, and the bills slower,  but whatever.

Omg this update is so dumb. I guess I got nothing today.

If I cared more I'd probably delete this entry,  but I don't really give a fuck how dumb this is.

Anyway, I think I'll get my 2nd cup of coffee and read.


Saturday, May 13, 2017

You Never Know.

So my first week of drinking one time/week was not perfect. My sleeping is different,  and my eating too. I did have a couple cheat drinks on Tuesday and Wednesday. Friday was my drink day, and I might not have used it, but I was tired. Tired mostly cuz I was woken up at 11:00 PM from loud talking,  and had problems falling back asleep.

A WIP.  Other than that I stay busy. Work is busy, I have more stuff to do than I can finish probably. I think 50 is a good year. You don't have to stay up with the latest  fashions, of course I may have been like that for deades. You probably have little to no debt, cuz you don't need things. Kids if you had any are grown up, and doing their own life thing.

My life I had no kids. Lisa had one from a previous marriage. Kids are a lot of work,  and kids aren't perfect. They back talk, and get in trouble. They don't clean,  and they make a mess. They probably don't want to go to bed on time, and all that.

I thought about a lot of things this week. I meant to blog,  but I slept or read my book instead. I am on book #6 in my series.

I know things in life. I know where this all leads. I know the route all take,  and many try to think they are taking a different route than they are.

There are only 2 routes. A perfect route,  and the thief's route. Many/all think they are on the perfect route, when all actually should be on the other route. It takes a lot of life,  and good eyesight to see where you are. The busyness of life clouds your vision,  as does the true nature of you. We weren't born with good eyesight as to where we stand.

Life is a story about you.  It isn't about heroes,  and sportsing people or suit wearers, or people in other uniforms. Throw the decorations and fashion out,  and it is just you and your life.

Family doesn't mean anything. No points for having one cuz everyone does. The 12 walked away from everything, and you are not strong enough for that.

If you were asked you couldn't. False teachers teach the wrong stuff. You have no idea what you were born into here. It isn't what you think.

There is a better spot outside the wilderness,  but you won't find much good while in it. It's kinda an endure thing, but I really don't even know what people are even thinking anyway.

You and I are different,  and I know the path I chose. I know about this life here. I know people's imperfection,  cuz I know mine.

I also am not afraid to be the thief, cuz I have help, and the truth no longer scares me.

Anyway. Today should be a day.


Tuesday, May 9, 2017

All In A Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I got something in the mail the other day. A special car event. Heavily advertised. $2100 off the price of the used car + no matter what it looks like I get $75 just for showing up. I would want a truck. The trucks were way too nice for someone who drives 3000 miles or less each year. We looked and did a test drive. I don't want a car payment,  but would be willing to get into a $100-150 car payment. That was not going to happen. Instead of $75 I got  $5 for showing up.

Lisa still likes modes of transportation, and I could give a fuck. They advertised to the poor. $59 down,  and this is your monthly payment. You never knew what the price of the car was til way later. The car payments were ridiculous seeming to me. Do people still make $300-400 payments?

I drive less than 3000 miles per year, so that is not the norm.  As far as car salesman go, I am the worst guy. I wasn't in the market for a vehicle,  but I checked it out for what I thought would be $75. I got  $5.

I looked at the job of those traveling car salespeople. I think they travel around the country for liquidation events.  Advertise heavily,  set up tents, and do their spiel.

Everything out of their mouth was total BS I bet. Kinda like the BS phone solicitors peddle.

Anyway, we picked up some groceries,  and made an easy meal. I watched a movie,  and read a bit of my book.

I don't know what I'll do today after work.

I'll tell you something of me. I did drink alcohol frequently. Pretty much every day. Not a crazy amount. I never got hung over, and I never got a headache. If you could drink alcohol without any of the physical consequences why not do it?  1 drink always turns into 3 or 4 though. I'd get a good buzz and fall asleep. You never know what kinda stupid shit you think of with a pretty good buzz. So finally I got talked into tuning it down.

For me personally I don't believe in alcoholism. A made up word in my view. You got shit to do then do it. At the end of the day do what you want. You still gotta get up the next day though. You still gotta work. I never woke up wanting a vodka drink first thing in the morning. Is that real?  I never once in my life drank a fifth of something in one day.

Anyway. I do like the alcohol buzz. I decided to do it one day /week now. Seems easy, and it is mostly. On my way home or after work though my heart kinda gets excited thinking of having a drink. Pretty weird. Don't know where that comes from. Maybe bodies crave sugar, and that is the sugar I consumed most of my years.

Who knows?   I did drink cuz why not. In life I have already won,  and really there are no consequences for me. I still eventually will do my final thing. Regardless of anything. That being said my turn helps me look at things different.

I like it. Life still is crazy busy, and there is not enough time to get all the things done. I just gotta plug along I guess.


Another day older,  and I doubt we ever get wiser. We just live out our days.

I do like a good turn, and I think this is a good one for me.

Okee dokee.  Cya.   :)

Monday, May 8, 2017

Some Different Things.

Yesterday I did some different things. Nothing crazy. I did work 8 hours,  and listened to my book. When I got home I took Hope for a long walk. I forget you see things when you walk. Normally I walk Hope in the wee hours,  cuz she is such an ass, but I am going to walk her more during the day.

I walked past a cemetery I've run past a million times. I looked at the gravestones.   There was a couple both born in 1924. They were married for 71 years. Guy is still alive, and the lady died a year or two back. I wonder what their life was like. Got married during WWII. Lived through the post war boom. Probably bought a house. He worked, she took care of the house. It doesn't say if they had kids. Living in Holland they probably spent most Sundays in some type of Church.

The milk man delivered milk. They were my age in 1974. The guy is in his 90's. I doubt he takes dogs for a walk. Probably hasn't worked in forever. Who knows if he is mentally all there. I don't have many thoughts about their life. They probably thought it was important at some time, but like you I see them as just some old people with no story. I made up their story,  and there isn't much to it.

I also saw a lot of people born in the 1800s, and many lived long lives. Like 80 years. That surprised me. I also looked at houses and stuff. I always look at roofs. Ours just got redone,  and I am actually pretty surprised how many people have nice roofs. Like mine.  :)

Some yards were nice, and some not. I feel I have a lot of work to do with mine. I noticed trees coming into bloom. Different colors of leaves. It wasn't a waste of time really.

I did have a couple drinks after, cuz I had some stuff sitting there for a couple days.

As far as days go I guess it was okay. Those people who were married for 71 years, their lives mean nothing. Being married for 71 years means nothing. It is just life. We live out our years with no story,  and no significance.

We spent time on this Earth, and these days a good percentage of people never had milk delivered to their house. You didn't miss out on anything terribly exciting. Well, the moms may have.  ;)

So you walk on a chilly sunny day. A good wind. You see the short story of nameless people. You see roofs, and trees, and lawns,  and flowers.

My days will come to an end. I don't know why people have to kill each other. I don't know why people pay attention to politics. You are in the middle of your short story. You end up a nameless person. The memory of us does not live forever in this place.

Hopefully you die before you get dumb and feeble. Hopefully you die before all you do is watch tv.

Anyway. That is what was different yesterday.

Cya.   :)

Oh, doing different shit today too.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Starting Another Day.

I am starting Another day. Yesterday was a bit different cuz usually I pick up a bottle of wine after work on Saturdays. It's the night I drink wine. Not anymore as Saturday will not be a drink night. Thursday or Friday will be my drink night.

Last night I cooked dinner, and got a good start in book 5 of my series. I also watched the movie one for the money, which was made from the first book in the series. I seem to be getting more and more hooked. Getting into the characters more and more. Also today I finally have the last of my Pendergast novels to listen to. I was on a wait list, but no more.

Having been down this road before I am pretty excited to be back on it. I save money, and I have more productive time. We will definitely get our house painted once the weather fully cooperates.

In a life full of turns I just made another. My whole routine thrown away to find a different one. Check it out. Kinda like the change in seasons, you don't want to look at the same shit all the time.

I don't know where it will lead me. Probably more distant. In life I suspect most of you want to matter,  and most want to be important.

The truth suggests you and I are in the same boat. We aren't. You aren't special,  and you are not some remarkable human being. Just one of the multitudes. All our stories are different though. Most/all are hidden though,  cuz no one wants the World to see the real them. Too scary. You are too flawed. Too imperfect. Who wants to show themselves if they can't wear Saint's clothes?   Too many judges and we aren't perfect.

You think that doesn't matter, but I KNOW it does.

Whatever. I am me doing my life thing. One man in a World on his own. Comfortable with me,  and not really concerned about much.

I'll finish my coffee, and get ready for work.

Cya.   :)

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Been A While.

I haven't been updating much lately,  and it feels pretty good. This may be my new norm. I don't really have anything important to blog about. Nothing particularly important happening in my life.

I am thinking of not drinking mostly. Maybe one day a week like I did before. It would be really easy, except when the day winds down I do think a drink would be nice. I mostly would plan to do housework,  and yard work. Probably read more too. I am going through the books where Stephanie Plum is the main character. A normal girl from Jersey turned bounty hunter.

Her character is a good one. Flawed like everyone. It's a girl though,  and the author is female. Mostly I'd read books where guys are the main character. You kinda get a females perspective.

I haven't been running, and currently I have no running shoes. I already turned my running shoes into work shoes. I will go to the running store soon, and walk for them to get a good pair for me.

I am in no hurry,  cuz I don't expect my knee to hold up to any crazy training. If I don't run or spend a crazy amount of time in some hobby I wonder what else I'll do? 

Nothing really comes to mind, but I will continue to do the house stuff and reading. I still have 16 more Stephanie Plum books to read, and then I'll start something else. I do have my jobs too, so I have stuff every day.

My whole life from before I've gone through. Every part of us has to be dealt with. All our failures and hurts and shit. Probably the most important thing in your life to do. I already did that shit. It is behind me and no longer of any consequence.

This blog is of no consequence. Me, and my life either. I am way cool with that. I don't care.

So til next time. There is always a possibility there will be no next time. Maybe tomorrow I'll have one or 3 weeks from now. I don't know.

Blogging is probably dumb. I don't know. My life is.   :)


Cya.  Have a good one.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

This Kid Is Alive.

Good morning. I am doing okay. I don't know why the last two days I've been waking up, and the previous week I was sleeping in.

I am alive. My insides are charged. How I feel on the inside is different than you. You I don't know. I don't know what life feels like to someone like you. On the flip side you don't know me. You have no idea how it feels to be me.

There is a great divide between you and I. There are so many important things in life,  except there aren't. The time we spend doing stuff is valuable,  except it isn't. The sacrifices we make are very valuable,  except they aren't.

Life is a time filled story that trillions have done. All end up 6' under. How is it we place so much importance in our life, which obviously isn't important?   A look at the numbers tells us the truth.

So we go on and on showing everyone how important we are, and our great deeds, but it is just life. We get thrown into this World. As kids we cry at the stupidest shit for hours on end. Across the street yesterday the neighbor lady had a kid yelling and crying mommy mommy mommy mommy. Who the fuck wants to deal with that?  

How is that loud mother fucker  going to miraculously turn perfect once he stops masturbating  47 times each day after HS?  It won't happen before HS ends that's for sure.

Life is ugly,  and all of us are flawed. Unable to be perfect. As a matter of fact we don't even know what perfect is. You may have some weird idea to it, but you really have no clue. Me either really. I know it is different than what I am now.

Maybe that is where you and I differ. I know where I stand as far as these things go.

Anyway, another blog. This is kinda boring to do I think.



Wednesday, April 26, 2017

I Think It Has Been A Week.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I've been sleeping in a lot so no blog. I liked it too. Secretly I wanted to always sleep in and never blog again, but I am up.

Not much been going on. Kinda decided to work on the house this year. No running or anything. I still bike to work most days, and that will mostly be the extent of what I do. Things pile up. Yard work, grass, garden, organize, clean. We have a lot we can do. Last night I spent an hour or two planting grass, and edging. On nice days I'd like to follow that plan,  and maybe read my books on rainy days, or do shit inside.

Our big plans huh?  I am sure I'll fuck that up often,  but in theory it sounds good. As easy as life can be it still is pretty fucking busy.

Really not much else going on. Living a simple boring life,  and I think the more boring the better. My life is pretty dumb, and you'd be a fool to want to read about it, just as I am a fool to write about it.

This thing is/was about so much more though,  but you and I are different. I am a piece of shit imperfect person telling you my truth, and also kinda being a mirror to your truth. I didn't know everyone was a Saint though,  so what a waste of time.

No biggie though cuz time I have. Also in the wilderness I don't give a fuck.


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Trailers For Sale Or Rent.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am fine. Yesterday was pretty busy. I had more to do at work than usual for a Monday, but I got out on time. We tried finishing our pickets replacement,  but it doesn't line up. It is Hope proof right now,  but we will have to adjust ~20 of them this weekend. I wanted it to be done. Oh well.

Our roof guy came over,  and we paid him off. In the end we are $6000 poorer, but we will never have to deal with that roof again. We bought good 30 year shingles,  and it looks good. We also got all our old ruined pickets in the roof dumpster. Lisa can take the not horrible ones and donate it to her work. As Spring is upon us we already got a lot done.

Not sure what I will do today after work. It will be nice out so I'll probably sit outside. Probably do tacos for dinner. I have a lot of things on my mind I guess. A lot of things I want to get done. Busy busy I guess you'd say, but I still have plenty of time to just relax. Every day still ends with dinner you know?  

Who really knows how people think. I feel I am pretty far removed. Did you do enough?  Did you sleep too much?  Did you worry too much?  Did the burdens of life drag you down?  

I suspect people seek out the perfect balance to life. The balance comes from your heart though, and that we don't really control. We can make rockets and stuff, and blow people up. Stay busy doing things in this World,  but we cannot control our heart.

Weird huh?  We seek out ways in the World to make our mark, and we never really question why our hearts fail us.

Anyway. A lot of questions to life,  and perhaps the right questions never get asked.

Why am I not better?

Guess that's it. Gonna take Hope this morning,  and hopefully have time to do the dishes.

Cya.  :)


Monday, April 17, 2017

In The End It Was A Pretty Lazy Day.

We did do some cleaning,  and laundry,  cooked a ham and stuff, but my first day off in 4 months was a pretty lazy one. Why not right?  I think that will be the case on future days off. Good to be lazy once in a while.

Like I said before though I am done with work early afternoon all days, so I still have all my days. I gotta check the weather today, cuz I was thinking there might be rain. Other than that today will be pretty normal. Nothing huge planned.

Nothing really on my mind right now. I did think of something earlier. A way I am different than you. I am this imperfect entity. I know it, and I know my personal route to perfection.  It iswhat I set out to do long ago, but the timing isn't up to me. Anyway I am not afraid of imperfection. I was during the journey, but I am accepted now. Secure in who I am. Even when I was scared I still was open. Have been since things started up during the running blog days, but fear is long gone.

There is a story being played out and I am powerless to make this story happen, although I will play a part.

How this all ties in to the end days I am not sure. Let him who hath understanding, and that is what I am after. That which is trapped in me gets let loose, and who knows?

I asked for the mirror several years ago, and the mirror is for people to look at them self. A mirror turned brings hate and anger, and I wondered if the whole World has the mirror and uses it incorrectly than the World is pretty ugly.

I don't know these things though. If people are mad I don't see it, cuz I am not mad.

I just do this life thing, and my story will be played out. I have no worries of that. When I spent my time in the wilderness I knew what was at stake. I knew the end I was desperate to escape. Fear was my crutch, cuz I knew too much to be secure. By knowing too much I knew where I stood.

In a World of Saints I knew I wasn't one. I also knew the World wasn't full of Saints. Maybe that is where we see things different.


Gotta go.

Cya.   :)

Xoxo.  :)

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Something Different

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. I got a good night sleep,  and I have all of today off. It is weird waking up in the middle of the night, and realize you don't have to worry how many hours til you gotta be at work. It's been a while.

Today I don't have any real big plans. Do some cleaning,  finish the last 50 pickets of our back fence. Nothing too crazy. I'll just be doing it not after working 8 hours.

Oh my gosh that is pretty much all that is on my mind. Yesterday got up to 77° according to my phone. It felt good to be in that weather again. It feels good we got a shit ton done with our house so far this year. New kitchen, sink, faucet, garage door,  opener,  roof,  fence. I have some windows to replace, and the house needs to be painted still, but that is all doable. We have to finish up our basement still, but that can be this Fall.

One can never read the future, but all things being equal we would sell our house in 5-10 years and live in a tiny house. A big house doesn't really fit our lifestyle. It is just more space. Space we don't need.  Of course things never really stay equal, and this World is probably on a crash course.

Are people still mad at stuff?   Do wars still happen?   Are people still killing each other?   That seems pretty silly and dumb. I cannot fathom that. I think everything is pretty wrong in this World, and I don't see a way to fix it. People are the ones who need to be fixed,  but people are all right and correct in their eyes.

I think everyone thinks they question stuff, but maybe they don't. If you still believe in Country and flags and stuff you haven't questioned anything. In the end you have to question it all. That means everything must be thrown away. That includes religion,  and the opposite of that.

It is a hard thing asked of you, because in these steps you learn fear, and doubt, and what it is like to be alone in the World. People have to help themselves first before they can help others. In doing that you'll realize there is very little you can do,  but with help the sky is the limit.

Then I guess you realize on our own we sure aren't worth much.


I guess that's good.

Have a good one.   :)


Friday, April 14, 2017

The Tacos Put Me In A Food Coma.

That was my day yesterday pretty much. Buzz around work for 9 hours getting as much stuff done as I could,  ride my bike to the library to get book #2, start book, eat tacos, crash. The Tacos hit the spot though. Perfect call for dinner.

There you have a day. Seems silly I blog so often cuz really what is going to happen to me in one day?  Not much. Today is Friday. Tomorrow I get to sleep in, work a few hours, and have all of Sunday off. Not sure what I'll do, but I'll have a day off.

I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting yesterday. I just had a day. I didn't seek out trying to change the World. Of course I never do.

I guess the most significant thing I saw was a picture on Twitter. It is someone I follow,  but I don't know. It was the day she got her leg blown off while in Afghanistan or something. I don't know her like I said. I followed her, cuz for some reason her stuff popped up in my feed.

She got like a bronze medal at the paralympics in triathlon,  but I guess I was more interested in seeing her face after her leg was blown off. It wasn't negative,  and it wasn't bitter. It may have been a drug induced high,  but from what I can tell she doesn't seem bitter or angry today either. I did think of that.

I am not gonna put her up for Sainthood,  cuz no one belongs on that pedestal,  but I like her demeanor I guess.

So then you start thinking here is someone I sorta know, but don't know. How many other people in cyberland are acquaintances like that. A lot,  but really not many I guess.

Who knows?   Who cares? 

Today I'll have a day. It won't be much different from many others. I have no idea what to do for dinner.

Gonna be a wild one today.   :)

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

XOXO. :)

Thursday, April 13, 2017

A Talisman For A Reindeer Is Always Gluten Free.

I read that on the Internet somewhere, and it mildly shocked me. I never knew that.

Anyway How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. Nothing too crazy. I finished my book I started, so now I gotta go back to the library today to get book 2 in the series.

Our shingles got delivered so our roof will be done soon. Not exactly sure when their planning to do it. We'll have a couple nice days,  and then rain. Pretty excited though. Our roof will look good. We are kinda the black sheep on the block now with our ugly roof.

So there, that is the extent of my day. I made an easy meal, and tonight we will do tacos.

Simple pimple really. Crossing off day after day. Eventually we all reach the finish line. No one escapes that part. Not really sure if a lot of thought goes into it for people. Here for a bit. We do some stuff,  and exit. None of what we do makes any difference.

We have fun days, and we have hard days. We toil for paychecks and what not. In the end you don't end up perfect. Everyone else is the same as you. If your a parent your kid won't end up perfect either. It doesn't matter how much you labor, perfection is out of your power.

Does that matter?  I say it is important, but I am the only one. Everyone else lives in the land of "good enough".  That is the land people really need to graduate out of,   and I guess there only is one way. Hearts aren't able on their own to graduate out of this land, and people's vision cannot see beyond it.

So we really we just run in place,  cuz nothing of value is done in chutes and ladders land.

Anyway, I think I'll finish my coffee,  and take Hope.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

XOXO. :)

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

A Cold Day = A Different Outcome.

Hello and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday wasn't horrible as far as days go I guess. I rode my bike to work. Somehow it got a flat, although I changed the tube a little over a week ago. It rained all last week so I didn't bike hardly. There is a bike shop across the street from work, so I took it there. I wanted them to check and make sure there wasn't anything in the tire. I checked last time, and didn't see anything. Sure enough they found a little piece of metal. Also they fixed a couple other things too. It was a smooth ride home.

Authors these days are writing series of books. For no reason at all I Googled a popular writer and started her series of a girl down on her luck turned bounty hunter. Evanovich is the author and Plum is the main character. It is an easy read and book #1 is going down good. There are like 20 in the series. I know 1 and 2, and many others are at the library.

So I read when I got home. Kinna can't wait to get back to the book either.

Had a little meal before bed, and that was the extent of my day. Glad my bike is in good shape. I may buy another in a couple weeks. Nothing expensive,  and more like a commute bike. I do all my business at the shop across from the bakery,  even before I worked there. I'll get it from there. Not looking for anything extravagant. Century rides are not my thing, so I'd like to keep the price close to $300 or so. It doesn't need to be high tech, and I am thinking more mountain bike frame with more commute type tires.

Other than that not much. Getting ready for another day. My life is not quite as exciting as a bounty hunter, but one does what one can. 

Stupid update I know.  :)

Stupid life too.   :)


Have a good one.  :)

Luv Ya's.   :)

XOXO.    :)

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

This Feels Normal

Good morning all. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am up, awake,  and this is more like it. Last week I slept in a lot for some reason.

Anyway I repeat myself a lot probably. I probably say a lot of shit here I may say elsewhere. Anyway we got our fence up. Replaced a lot of pickets. Actually we bought our final 50 last night. Our back fence will be done this week.

As some of you know I work 3 jobs. Not really cuz I need the money, but cuz I want to. I don't get many days off. This Sunday I'll get a day off cuz of Easter. It will be my first day off since Jan. 1. No big plans or anything, but it will be nice to have a day off. Ftr with my jobs I still am always out by 1 or 2 in the afteenoon, so I still get all my days. That is a good thing.

Other than that not much going on. Just doing this life thing. Day after day. I pretty much keep it simple,  cuz that is how my life is. Simple.

I am not out to change a World that won't change. I place no allegiance to flag,  or Country or anything. In a World where we want something to matter I am content knowing the truth. Nothing matters. Our time here is insignificant. Your labors to somehow make a difference end up in failure. You don't.

It is a sad existence, unless your heart is happy and content with the truth. That is one of my gifts. I am cool with this little life here.

I am cool with my day to day. I am realistic about the importance of my day to day. I am cool with the truth.

So, I guess today I'll have another day. It will involve work, eat, sleep, as seemingly all others do. Fine by me.   :)

Have a good one.  Xoxo.  :)

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Well, That Was Strange.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. I haven't blogged in a while cuz I slept in every day. Even if I woke up at a blogging time wide awake, I fell back asleep. Strange.

Even today I slept in again, but I don't work til later. Yesterday I did finish getting all my poles in for the fence. The final 3 were not as easy as the first 6, but they aree in. We'll put the panels on Sunday. Then our yard will be enclosed again, but not with a wobbly fence. It will look a lot better too. We'll eventually replace all the pickets one panel at a time. Maybe one panel each week.  ~15 pickets.

This Spring is different. I actually want to get stuff done. This week was cold rain every day so I didn't get shit done. Today it is supposed to be nice so I'll get the little amount of leaves we have out to the road.

So today I have a little work,  and I'll make a nice meal. Tomorrow I'll work,  and finish our fence. I bet our roof gets done this week too. Also we have a new garage door,  and opener installed.

Slowly we are getting our shit done we wanted. So now I'll finish my coffee and take Hope.

Maybe it is a good thing I didn't blog this week hardly,  cuz today was just day to day BS

Oh well. 


Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Life Moves On...

I could tell you I had a crazy weekend, but I didn't. Outside of work we did a lot of work on our fence. We are doing the back fence. It is the most important. Our right side is fine. It's our neighbors. The left side we'll do next year probably. Our other neighbors have a fence already. Our fence that came with the house had posts that were not cemented. We put in new ones and cemented them. We also our raising the height maybe 1-1/2'. 

So really the weekend was normal in all areas, except we worked on the fence. I also stayed up later,  and slept later. It is supposed to rain all week so we probably won't finish it til this weekend.

Other than that time moves on. Another day here and another day there. I don't really know what people do or what people think.  These days I probably don't care. In a World  where most place importance in things that aren't does it even matter what people think? 

In a World of lives unimportant people try to show and prove the opposite is true. Who has time to pay attention to that?  

I have to work,  eat, and sleep. I am alive so I try to have fun doing it. I think I am mostly successful. I don't have any secrets,  except a heart that knows and accepts the truth. I guess until you reach that point you will always be lacking something.

Anyways, as usual just getting something down. I did pick the men's NCAA winner this year.

Cya.  :)

Saturday, April 1, 2017

If I Could Draw It Up.

I'd draw out my Friday as it went. Work went smooth. We finished off a pretty easy week. We had a stretch where the weeks were challenging,  and out of the blue a pretty easy week.

After work I went out to the local lumberyard I used to work at to pick up the supplies I needed. Also I like to go there so I can forget a few supplies I intended to get. Why make one trip when 2 is way more efficient?   I saw a couple people I used to work with. I didn't say hi, cuz I didn't want to. Also I realized I didn't even remember their names.

Anyway I did that. Unloaded the truck. Had some time so I went out for a couple beers. Ran into Hawaii Greg so I hung out for a couple hours. I came home, Lisa brought home dinner, and I went to bed early. I now am up early, and that is how I like it. That's how I'd  draw up a perfect day.

Other than that not much going on. We have a fence to put up when I get home from work. I have plenty of time to take Hope. Plenty of time for 2 cups of coffee too I bet.

Funny thing about life is we figure something has to mean something right?  The fuck we doing here?

You'll find everyone has ideas as to the perfect life or whatever,  but no one is living the perfect life. You haven't nailed life by any stretch.

The truth doesn't stop at that seems good. The truth is absolute. No one's thoughts are perfect. Yours sure aren't. Mine either. I am accepted though. I don't stand as a righteous person. I stand as a faithful person. The truth took me here. The story doesn't stop,  because perfection is the end game. Understanding.

Everything else is just life. The thing that means nothing,  contrary to what you think. In a life that really comes down to getting points you are shut out. The other team is way stronger than you.

If it weren't for me you would have no clue. I came with the truth,  and no one wants to deal with that.

Where the truth is ABSOLUTE, where do you think you stand? 

In life we all are actors. It's all we can do, cuz we just ain't that great. Contrary to what you think.


I am out.

Later.  :)

Friday, March 31, 2017

Some Days You Don't Have A Title

For the life of me I cannot think of a title. One would think if that's the case maybe I shouldn't blog. I will though.

We are starting our back yard fence reconstruction this weekend. We will use 4x4x10' instead of 8'  we will also cement the poles in. Good to do it in the Spring after a rain. Should be easy to dig out the holes some more. It will then be Hope proof. One of our projects we wanted to undertake for awhile. To be honest I am glad to get that started. Besides work that will be my weekend.

Other than that not much going on I guess. Yesterday I just listened to my book, and made an easy dinner. I slept good. Woke up at 12:30 wide awake. Ready to get up, but fell asleep again to a little before my early alarm.

Today will be another day. You know what  my days entail. Not much. Work,  eat, sleep.

Now I think I'll eat breakfast.

Maybe I shouldn't have blogged.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

Cya.  :)

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Some Days.

You never know what will happen in a day. Yesterday I got pretty silly. Just having fun. You pretty much want to enjoy your lives. Be silly,  have fun. Live without a care in the World.

How can you?  You as a person are supposed to do this and that. Socially accepted norms mean you must do this and that.  You want to do this and that though. You want to be silly, have fun. You also want to feel good, have a lot of energy, and wake up rested.

I could give you the secret to life,  but I can't. I am not the author of my story. So many days of mine were hard. My path was one of learning. I learned a lot. I guess what I learned is how helpless I am.

All the avenues of me is pure and simple folly. That is where you are now I guess. You want to pave your stairway to heaven with good works, and also you want to show people your paved road you have started.  

It means nothing. Everything we have done doesn't mean anything. I currently am sitting with points while all others are being shut out. The road I made I didn't. I was led along blindly. You don't know the suffering I've endured to get points, but one does. For some reason it is pleasing to him my path is solo. Hidden from all. Also it is how it's always been where one gets the message. Delivers it cuz that is their purpose. Their job if you will. It is ingrained in their heart. Their labor is not from them,  like mine is not from me.

Our message we bring from elsewhere does not get received. Hearts turn hard, cuz they want their life. They want to show people their greatness. You want to show people your stairway to heaven.

Also is it possible to bring happiness and contentment out of nothing?  The World was made out of what was once nothing. What great deeds will you do? 

We are pretty insignificant huh? 

Okee doke. Just getting something down.

I think it's raining.


Tuesday, March 28, 2017

A Difference In A Week.

Some things remained the same as I had stuff to do after work on Monday. That is 3-4 weeks straight. Typically I have nothing to do after work. We got our taxes done,  and set up our roof.

First off I wanted to say I have been bundled with energy this past weekend, and beginning of this week. Last week I was tired I definitely will take the energy and the part of feeling great.

As to our roof running a roofing business is not easy. He has to pull permits,  set up delivery of supplies, do the estimate, hire employees,  payroll and whatnot. You never really think of that shit.

Anyway we are  all set up. Good to go as it were. Taxes are done. Fine for no HC is close to $700 this year. Next year will be closer to $1000. That fine really is a tax on the poor. I doubt rich people go without HC. In my opinion the problem is insurance in general. Very inefficient.

People with insurance with low co pays probably go to the Dr. for every little thing.   I haven't been to a Dr. in forever. I am healthy. Insurance = incentive for waste.  You show me someone working in the insurance industry, and I'll show you someone who spends a good deal of time in a cubicle. Looking at computer screens,  and talking on phones. Maybe eating donuts by the water thingy.

I think higher education is a waste now too. You going to go in house size debt to get a cubicle job?   That's dumb. The system is broke. You ain't gonna fix it. You want an education?  Read Catch-22. Laugh, but get mad.

Get a job where you are on your feet. Don't go into high debt. Enjoy your years if you are able. I suspect that enjoy part is out if your hands. A good heart is a good thing to come by, but probably out of our hands. I know the steps I made, and I don't know how I'd be if I didn't do what I did. I suspect not as happy.

The World goes on in its shitty way. People who think they are smart continue to do stupid shit. Rich people who were born that way typically are the stupidest people in the World. They do the most damage too.

Arrogance is an awful thing misplaced. When the arrogant think they are smart when really they are dumb, that is a bad thing.

The World is full of these people. Many times money is what makes the difference in classes. It makes up our hierarchy, and money may be the dumbest thing of all.

Your World though. I have no use for it. I have my day to day. I'll think I'll stay on this route.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Psyche.    ;)

Cya.   :)

Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Day Is Before Me.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am good. It is my sleep in day, so I slept in. Kinda. Not sure what today will hold. We got our garage door up. Another thing off the list. Lisa got her new glasses too. Another one off.

Not sure about today.  I looked up movies. I guess that's a possibility,  although leaning against it. I do have a couple things I want to get done. I guess in my mind I have a big list. I should get it down so I can see it. Cross shit off.

Not really sure what to do for dinner. I feel we should try something new. We went out for dinner last night. A day starts with all kindsa possibilities. Rarely if ever do I accomplish what I set out in the morning. You can imagine how I am in the morning. Ready to go, but I am active every day. I don't sit down til I am done with work. I do eventually lose steam.

I will say this. I like the direction our house is going. We are getting shit done,  and Spring is upon us. So that's good.

Other than that I guess I'll drink my coffee. Take Hope for a walk,  and have a day. There will be dinner at the end of it.

Cya later.  :)

Friday, March 24, 2017

I Think Spring Is Here

The 10 day has one high of 48°, and the rest in the 50°s or higher. We are close to getting everything done we wanted help with. Garage door goes in today. Our roof guy comes out to look at our roof. We have to do some fence repair in back. Hope is an ass. He's trying to eat his way out. Really we just need to make it taller. 10' posts instead of 8'  it will make our fence 7' high. She can't jump that high. We'll cement them too. The original owner didn't.  We also want to paint our house. Change out a couple windows. Finish up the basement. A lot to do still.

The basement is all framed and insulated. We never finished the walls. I did the ceiling, but don't like it, so we took it down. I'll be busy, and I like to be lazy. 

It is Springtime though. Everything is new again. The season has changed, and once again everything looks different.  That is what Midwest living is.

Anyhoo,  enough about me. Not really though. Am I to talk of you?  I don't even know you. I know me. I know this World. I know my little life here. I know it has an end. In the end I did have a purpose. The reason I am here is what I will finish. My job will be done.

It wasn't what I expected, and it wasn't what I planned.   Left to my own devices from way back when who knows?  I know  I wasn't perfect,  and my life would have been pretty Fucked up.

My life still isn't perfect cuz I am not. Not yet. I know the human experience though having been one. I was taken abruptly out of the World long ago, and I saw it for what it is. I saw people's lives all dressed up. I know people's inside thoughts though,  and we don't want to show that.

Why?  Cuz we all are Fucked up, and we only want to show a dressed up version of ourself. The World overpowers in that way. People judge. The World judges, and none are strong enough to stand up to it.

If you knew now the folly of life you would wish you did something different. Was on a different route. You were always going to be tangled into your life. No one escapes that. Only way out of your dilemma is a turn. The turn is blind. A blind turn eventually helps you see. Through the eye of the needle the log gets removed. This is out of your power.

A strong person needs no help. A strong person is foolish.

Anyway. Today will be a good day. We are getting shit done.

Cya.   :)

Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Things That Are On My Mind.

That title is kinda a joke, cuz not much is on my mind. Yesterday was okay as far as days go. I worked,  and had dinner. There really isn't anything of real importance I thought about. Just doing my day to day. The days come. I typically don't get everything done I want after work,  but I have dinner, and I sleep.

Pretty simple really. Yet my days are never perfect. When you live in my head there isn't much of anything that is so grand it is very important. Life is a big thing in our mind, but it's not important.  It's just something we do cuz for some reason we are here.

We didn't choose to be born. We didn't choose which Country we would be born in. Most, probably all, besides me never threw everything away. Country,  upbringing, teaching we've been taught from the World. Why are you here? 

In a World that offers nothing I guess that is a good place to start. I am going to have a day today. I am sure people will post stuff they think is significant to make it seem their life matters. It doesn't.

We've been preceded by trillions. We aren't better, and we aren't smarter. I am the only one who knows this though. Everyone else thinks they are better and are smarter.

We're just humans. Gross really. We all have a bunch of shit that pops up in our head. If we wanted a head that had perfect thoughts it isn't in our power. You are a slave to all the shit that pops up in your head.

In a World where you think you are master you are not. We are just humans living an imperfect life. No life was better way back when. We aren't better either.

This World is a crazy and insignificant thing. Those of this World can't see it. You have to step out to look at it objectively. You cannot be a part of it if you want to see it.


I'll cya.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

It Don't Take Much To Disappear

Good morning How's it going?   Me, I am fine. I kinda disappeared from this thing for a bit. It mostly had to do with sleeping in. From staying up too late to not sleeping as good as normal, I slept in.

Even today I was sleeping pretty hard, and having crazy dreams, and my early alarm went off. My first thought was to maybe sleep in again,  but I was done sleeping.

You would think for not blogging in a while I'd have a lot to say. You'd be wrong. :)  You know my crazy life.

We are pretty busy though, and that may be a reason for me sleeping in. Last week I had stuff to do all week. Got my truck fixed. My brake line was bad, and it needed replacing. Then my brake lights didn't work. One side was just the bulb,  and the other the wire. I did replace the socket, but it didn't work. My mechanic came over, and replaced the wire.

I thought he charged me too little last time so I gave him an extra $40. He thought I was too generous so he didn't charge me for redoing the wire.  :)  We have another big job coming up for him on our white car.

I got a flat on the way home yesterday too on my bike so I have to replace the tube.

See my life is pretty interesting. Also Friday we are getting a new garage door put on,  and we are going to get a new roof soon. We have a lot to do this year.

So,  life goes on. I ain't doing anything real important in my day to day. The day to days keep coming though.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.

Later.  :)

Thursday, March 16, 2017

It Is Rarely, Perhaps Never Light Out At 3:00 AM

As long as I've been doing this I don't recall it ever being light out at 3:00 AM. I am getting old though so not sure how much I would count on my memory.

Anyway. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. We got our new fridge yesterday so that's cool. Ours was done. Toast as it were. Nice to have a good functional one for the next 8-12 years. Our other one lasted probably a decade give or take.  It feels good to get that done.

Not much else going on with me. Just day to day things that occupy my time. It is like I do work. A couple things here and there. Dinner at some time and then sleep.

I have a feeling most people put some type of value in our day to day labor. It's just shit we do. We have to make money, and live somewhere. It's the way of the World. You have to be a part of the World to live in it. It just so happens no points come from your labor you do in the World.  No matter how hard you try. It matters to you in a way, but in the end it doesn't.

Life is full of hard truths few find out about. I found out about them. My life was set apart to learn these things. Then I was supposed to teach these things. What I've done has fallen on deaf ears so we went in the wilderness. In the wilderness hearts are cold. No one really cares. There is no meaning anywhere really. Nowhere to get a foot hold. In the wilderness I become very much indifferent to a lot. Especially when people place value where there is none. All our guilty.

I was too. Don't worry. We all are guilty thinking we and our lives are important. It is just time we are putting on this Earth. People rack up their trophies, and diolomas, and accepted things we gather from other people. Compliments and smiles.

Life is a hard hard thing cuz we were born here wrong. It takes much to make us right and better. It also is out of our power to do it too.

Perhaps the worst curse is being born in this World,  cuz it takes much to overcome our lot. I have overcome my trials with help. I would not have made it on my own. Others haven't even done anything. Once again I cannot help you at all. You have to make the right steps, and I know your tough position.

If everything is wrong than you have a pretty doozy of a Web. That is known. Everything is possible,  but not left to your own devices. Then pretty much nothing is in the important things.

You have to take the trip. You have to be willing even if your heart is scared and unsure.

I am glad I did my shit early and long ago. Where you stand now is hard. That much I know.

Anyway. Today will be another day.

Should be fun.

Cya.   :)

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Why Is Thing So Hard?

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. I had no idea for a title so this may be another nothing post.

Yesterday was okay. Work went good. I came home, and hooked up our new desktop. I had to pick up the cord. I bought a couple new pair of jeans. It's been a few years, and a couple have worn out. I have lost weight over those few years, cuz I probably could have dropped a size or two in the waist. Oh well I have a belt.

The new desktop is new for us. Lisa's daughter has one laying around collecting dust, do we bought it for  $150. I am not sure how much we'll use it. Lisa uses the tablet,  and I pretty much just use the phone,  but we will have it. Screen is much bigger than the phone. :)

Lisa went out with friends so I made salmon for myself. I slept early again too. I slept good too like the night before. I know I sleep good if I wake up at 11:00, and feel it may be time to get up. But I potentially have several more hours to sleep. Oh course today I didn't use all those hours. I got up early.

So I guess yesterday was a day. Today will be one too. We get our new fridge delivered today. A lot of shit to do after work this week. That kinda sucks. Now I know how the rest of you live.  :)  horrible. :)

Okee doke

I'm out.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

A Good Night Sleep.

The weekend my sleep kinda got out of whack. I lost an hour on Sunday, and I go in at 5:00 AM. We were working on my truck til it was getting dark. It gets darker later. All of a sudden it is 9:00, and I haven't eaten dinner. Then I didn't sleep that great. Last night however I slept great. I went to bed early, and I feel great today.

I have to run a couple errands today, so I'll drive. That's about it. Not much else going on.

I find more and more my life is less and less important. I keep doing my daily thing which has to bore you to tears. That may sound bad or something I don't know, but I am cool. I am fine with my simple and boring day to day.

When I was younger I kinda seeked for a purpose to my life,  and in the end I found it. So I will do things of some importance, but the simple truth is I am not important. These days my life is pretty simple.

I know how I am, and I know kinda how you are. Some anyway. Hearts don't really lie, but we don't like to look at the truth our hearts tell us. They aren't perfect. Some are filled with anger, and lust, jealousy,  and more.

You cannot take the imperfection out of your heart. So you block it out of your sight, and dress it up in accepted societal norms.

The heart is the key,  but you are afraid to look,  let alone show.

The tough things you have no desire to do. I get it kinda. I think. Who knows?  I did my stuff long ago.

What I found is if there is a good person it wasn't me. I looked in the mirror,  and I wasn't as good as I would have liked. That too is your story for those willing to face the truth.

Look around at your friends. They are in the same boat as you. Your family too. Ya gotta fix yourself before you can help others. This would have been easier solo,  but life is a tangled mess for everyone.

The route is possible for all. It also is not easy for all too.  There you are in the same boat as everyone else too.

Anyway. In my bracket this year I think I had NC winning it all. I may have someone else if I do another. MI I had in the sweet 16 and dropping out,  but they could be a sleeper maybe.

Anyway, I gotta go.

Have fun.  :)

Cya.   :)

Monday, March 13, 2017

Some Days I Have No Title.

Usually if that is the case I think I should have no blog either,  but you know me. I still can give it a whirl. To keep your spreadsheets accurate yesterday I didn't have coffee,  but today I am. I'll wait a minute if you want to update your spreadsheets now.

Okay, now where were we?  Ahhh yes. The blog. Yesterday I had a day. I worked my 8 hour shift. Our mechanic came out and replaced our brake line, but we still need to bleed the front brakes today. The ABS light came on, and he feels it's still not right. The mechanic is thorough, and reasonably priced. A quote for the work he does is an avg of what most shops would charge divided by two. He's cheap, and a nice guy.

Anyway that was about the extent of my day. I finished 3 more Pendergast books this week, and started a 4th. Those will be done soon, so I have to go back to the Game Of Thrones books. There are 17 Pendergast novels. The characters in those books are great.

Other than that not much. Today will be another day, and that's that.

I should have not given it a whirl. This one is dumb. 

Oh well.

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Just Like That It Is 3 In A Row

Good morning. How's it going?   I am fine. I am just sitting here drinking a cup of coffee for the 3rd day in a row. Yesterday we got our big for us check, and we bought a new fridge. They'll deliver, install, and take the old one away. It will have an ice maker like our previous one. Our old one is old, and is running out of juice. I think the defrost is messed up. It collects moisture, and water freezes on the bottom. It's time.

Other than that not much going on. You know me and my life. Nothing too exciting. Today will be work,  do some stuff around the house,  and make lasagna for dinner. It's been a while since we've done lasagna. Tomorrow will be work also. Our mechanic is coming out to fix our brakes on the truck. I think it is a main cylinder or something. The brakes just don't stop any more. It happened all of a sudden. He said it shouldn't be too expensive. I'll also schedule him to fix our white car. That we will sell, keep, not sure.

All our bills are up to date, and our next house payment is May 1.  I just have my bakery job money go into my mortgage bank. They'll take out my payment every first of the month. As a side note I make a good amount more at my bakery job than what my mortgage payment is, so it will be a savings account. Our other accounts are the same. We make a good amount more than what needs to be paid out. We live pretty simply so that shouldn't change. We don't travel a lot, cuz that is expensive.

I am happy in my own house. I don't need to go somewhere else to try and relax and be content. Also, I don't really find the World all that interesting. It's just the World. Big deal.

So today will be a day, and tomorrow will be a day. Nothing too crazy.

Anyway, I gotta take Hope. I may have another cup of coffee after too.

Also we went out for dinner. I brought a doggie bag home. I probably ate half my meal. I swear I used to always devour the meal I had last night.

Weird right?  It reminds me of that guy who ate that huge chicken sandwich. No way I could,  and he was going to have dinner some 4-5 hours later. I can't eat that much.


That's it.

I probably won't see you here tomorrow. I lose an hour of sleep.

Cya.  :)

Friday, March 10, 2017

I Am Going To Do The Coffee Thing Again.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. I decided to have another cup of coffee today. One thing I realize of coffee is it doesn't really give me a jolt. It doesn't really increase my energy at all so I drink it just to drink it. That is probably why I don't drink it every day.

Yesterday was another day. I pretty much just listened to my book after work. I'll probably finish it today. I like listening to books. It means you don't have to just lay down and read. You can actually do other stuff.

I realize I don't write anything of any importance here it seems. There really isn't anything of any importance. We are here for a short time,  and one day it will end. So what is so important? 

In my heart is the wilderness,  and I don't really care. I see life for what it is. The important people are doing things they deem important. Did you ask the tough question?

What if it isn't important?  Then what?  You should deal with that cuz the answer is it isn't.

Anyway, life I have boiled down to work eat sleep. I feel it best if you can do it with a happy heart. I can, and I do. I have nothing but time to do things I want. I don't need any more free time, cuz I have a ton of it.

I had absolutely no idea what life was about in my early years. I had no clue what life would be like today.

I know people are different than me. I kinda wonder what is in your heart. I know it isn't content, and I wonder why and how. I wonder what you feel you are missing.

People are actors. The stuff inside us that isn't content we don't show really. I can sometimes just imagine people's frustration.

Life is a dead end except for one path,  few are willing to take that path. I guess cuz life has so much to offer seemingly.

Anyway. Just jotting stuff down. I'll finish my coffee,  and take the Hopester.

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

Cya.  :)

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Oh Wait. I Haven't Had Coffee In A While

I was doing my normal wake up thing, pass the kitchen to the family room when it hit me. I haven't had coffee in a while. Last week maybe?  So I made myself a cup. Ahhh. Pretty good right?  

Anyway yesterday was a pretty good day. I did get some stuff done when I got home. I also listened to my book for a good bit. We made dinner, and I slept. Canadia is going to bring some of her cold weather down to us for a bit,  but it warms up next week.

I don't remember the timing of things. Maybe midnight tonight. We have a 3 day window to cancel our refi so when that passes our house loan, and home equity disappear, and we'll just have the house loan. I am pretty excited to see how that looks on my bank app. This week we get paid from all our jobs,  and tomorrow we pick up our big for us check. We won't be short of money.

I am pretty excited for this Spring. We have a lot we want to do with the house. I guess I kinda want to get started.

Other than that not much going on. Life you know is a never ending set of days. It goes on forever except one day we die, and they stop. I talked to my Dad yesterday. He turned 82. He still works around 25 hours/week. He still told me about two competitive handball games he had last week. In Chicago the old timers still do that. Not sure if anyone else plays handball.

Anyway yesterday was a day. I woke up early to tell you about my stupid day. Today will be another.  :)

Have a good one.   :)

xo     :)

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Yesterday Was Another day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. Worked a full day. I drove to work yesterday so on a whim I stopped and had a couple beers at the bar next door. I was the only one there so I had a conversation with the bartender. She knew some of the people I worked with. She's been there awhile cuz sometimes in previous years we would eat there on a Saturday after seeing a movie,  and I remember her working. She seems nice, and I think she probably has a partying side to her. I am guessing she is starting to approach 30. Not really sure what she wants of life. I may stop in there on Tuesdays. Why not right? 

Other than that I came home, and didn't do much. I made dinner,  and slept. I'll come home today and do some stuff. I gotta listen to my book too. It was a book I read before, but it was several years ago. Today may be an easy day at work too. I may actually get out early.

There will be a dinner, and I am not sure what. Right now I think I'll have some breakfast.

Fun fun.  :)

Okee dokee.

Til next time.

Cya.  :)

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

I Spose.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. If I were to look at the weather I'd probably ride my bike to work. It is supposed to be warm with little chance of rain. It is pouring outside now so I guess I'll drive.

We finished our refi yesterday so that's good. We'll get a pretty big for us check on Friday. I can't believe how easy this makes our life.

After the housing bust I really didn't give a fuck about this house. I thought buying a house was stupid. Thanks to a really strong Economic recovery in West Michigan the house is pretty sweet. We currently are in the best financial position we've ever been in.

I'll pay off our 0% credit card, and we'll have our house payment. We also have a car payment. It is pretty ridiculous. $100/month. I guess we'll pay that off early. Just not right away. We have to do our roof first. We'll have a rainy day fund I guess. Chances are it grows at a nice clip too.

So really I'll continue to work,  eat, sleep. Just continue to do my thing. Life will go on. There isn't a lot of stress in my life. It is pretty easy I guess. Yesterday my only stress was to finish my work so I could make it to my 3:00 appt. Done and done.

It was a good day I'd say. This should be a pretty good Spring,  Summer,  and Fall.

Now I think I'll eat a little breakfast.

These days this blog many times can be about nothing.

Today is one of those days for sure.

Okee dokee.

Cya next time.  :)

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Up Early Enough To Do This.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I don't really plan on doing this early Sunday morning, but I am done sleeping.  Yesterday was okay as far as days go. I took Hope for a walk, I had time to chill before work. I worked,  and saw the Get Out movie after work. It was good.

I came home, and started laundry, we each made our pizzas, and that was about it. Lisa watched a movie,  and I fell asleep through it. Today isn't going to be a crazy day. I'll work,  and then we'll see.

It is a pretty simple life I lead. I don't have any huge plans, but I do typically count on waking up early every morning,  and I count on feeling pretty good too.

I really know myself I guess,  and I know my life. There is so much I know about me,  and i guess that is a spot where you and I differ. While I was out learning about imperfect me I learned about others. I learned why we aren't perfect,  and I know why on our own it isn't even a possibility. I also learned that matters.

These days I cannot really say anything, cuz it's all been said. I just do my day to day, and I guess others do to. Another slight change is I am cool with my day to day. I don't expect anything else out of life. I guess I know the worth of the path of this World. I went a different way.

Due to being pulled,  and wanting to matter,  and stuff like that. I guess the funny thing is I learned I don't matter. I wasn't worth anything really. I had to learn that hard lesson. In the end I guess I wanted a good ending for myself. That comes from overcoming 3 times. I have one time left. A little secret too is I am not strong enough to overcome. I am taken over and made to say the right things. These days I know I have the best help. The one who overcame will do the same again using this vessel.

I will have worth,  but none of it will be from this guy who was a kid born to this World.  My worth will be given. Earned in a way as I had to endure my trials,  but really given, cuz I am overtaken to be able to overcome.

I know you cannot understand these things. I am different. Having been through the eye of the needle makes me different than a person born in this World.

I can't help you understand that either.

Okee dokee.

I have to check out another Pendergast book. I will finish my current one sometime during work.

Have fun.

Cya.   :)

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Sleep In Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me. I am fine. Today is my sleep in day,  and I used it. Slept til 5:30 with no wake ups I remember. I didn't really do much yesterday. I did buy a new set of headphones for my Sunday job. They cancel out external noise so it will be easy to listen to my books I like to do on my Sunday job.

I do have some stuff to do around the house today. Gonna make homemade pizza for dinner.  A pretty easy day planned. I am liking my schedule more and more. We have 2 accounts. One pays the house payment,  and one the rest of our bills. Each account has a good amount of money coming in over what it needs to pay. I guess that's how you want to set it up of you are able.

At anytime we'll be able to go out and do something fun if we want. Not that we do anything crazy. The most we do is go out for a meal.

Today I woke up as I normally do. Without a care in the World really.

I guess you would want to set up your life that way as well. That kinda is what this blog is about. Your life vs. What I write here. How you feel on the inside compared to what actually is possible.

Anyway, I'll leave it at that.

Til next time.

Cya.  :)

Friday, March 3, 2017

Another Day Down.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. We signed our final papers for our refi, so we are ready to close on Monday. We were planning on taking out a little money to redo our roof. It ends up we are getting $2200 more than we expected. That is fine with us. We got plenty of things to do. Also our next house payment isn't til May 1.  Like I said our life just got a lot easier.

Anyhoo other than that not much going on. Just continue to do the work, eat, sleep thing. Yesterday I took out $20 in cash using my debit card in a store. Turns out I had $40 in my wallet already. It's like free money. I decided to stop and have a beer. I ran into Hawaii Greg again. He actually is going back out to Hawaii in a week or so. Visiting Lisa's brother.

On another note we are actually going to go on a little vacation this Fall. When we used to travel a bit we thought we'd check out different cities. For no reason at all San Antonio was on that list. So we will go for 3-4 days to check it out. Do something different.

I don't really like doing anything more than 3-4 days. You kinda run out of things to do. At least I do. I like my routine, and I don't really want to be too far removed from it. I guess I am strange that way.

Today is Friday. The end of the week, and the start of the weekend.

As you can tell not much going on with me.

Til next time. 

Cya.  :)

Thursday, March 2, 2017

A Coffee, and A Blog.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had some pretty vivid dreams last night. I remembered them too. Nothing really too crazy.

Some guy from a NJ radio station came to, or traveling back from MI looked me up to interview me about baseball for his radio show. I did the interview. I thought he was nice, but a little later I thought he may be a serial killer. Also a bunch of us were stuck outdide, the weather turned, and several funnel clouds were touching down near us.  Some other things like that.

Yesterday was pretty much the same as most days. After work I listened to my Pendergast book, made dinner. I napped after dinner, than watched some TV.

A pretty boring life when looking from the outside huh?  This is what our life is like. Day after day of nothing really glamorous.

Today will be another day. There will be a dinner at the end.

Not much else to report. I can write this shit every day. I should delete this shit when I write it.

I won't today though. I'll make you read it.

Cya.  :)

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Yesterday Was Another Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was pretty good as far as days go. Next door to the bakery is a restaurant/bar. I rarely stop there, but yesterday I stopped to have a couple beers. No reason really,  I drove cuz it was raining before work. If I bike I won't stop for beers. I thought what the heck.

I saw someone who may have been like me in my earlier years. He wasn't obese really, but he definitely carried a good extra 40 pounds or so. He ordered a chicken sandwich that was a big sandwich. He dipped it in a honey mustard sauce. He had fries with it. I think when I was 36 I could have eaten that sandwich pretty easy. These days I bet I could only eat half.

I have no idea what I weigh, but I am probably close to an ideal weight. Somehow over the years my appetite is smaller. That is why I probably stay at my pr  running weight even though 40-50 miles of running/week is a thing of the past.

What made me think of these things is I made a Dr. appointment for a routine physical. It made me think of my health. I am not overweight. Cancer doesn't run in my family. High blood pressure maybe. It made me think I am probably healthy. I haven't been to a Dr. in forever. I had a slight cold a year and a half ago. I haven't had even a headache in forever.

I rarely drink pop. Alcohol is my only vice, but I don't think I over do it, regardless of what my wife may think. Who knows what my cholesterol looks like?  I guess we'll find out. Regardless I think it strange I can eat only a fraction of what I used to be able to. Going to bed early probably helps. We eat dinner usually around 6:00 or so. I am asleep typically around 8:00. There are no late night snacks for me. That probably helps me.

I guess through having a good schedule my lifestyle is relatively healthy. I don't take on too many things, so I am not pressed for time. This life is unstressful as much as one can be I guess.

I am lucky to be able to wake up most days feeling at peace. I know you don't know what this feels like, and I cannot explain it. 

Anyway, I guess that is good.

Have a good one.  :)

Monday, February 27, 2017

The Seal Ate My Golf Club.

Some days you can see a title, and it should be quite obvious someone; not mentioning any names, has nothing on his or her mind.

So we had a weekend. I don't think anything really major happened. I finished another Pendergast book,  and started another. The prior one I just finished, I read several years ago. When I started listening to books I just figured it would be something I do at work on Sundays, but I actually like it a lot. I am getting through 2-3 books/week. Otherwise I wouldn't read much. I can just sit and think of things to entertain myself. My
mind does not bore me.

The first two days of work this week should be pretty busy. Tomorrow is fat Tuesday so I'll be working both sides of the table. All hands will be on deck 3rd shift tonight cuz they have to make a million packzis. I don't really know why those go with fat Tuesday really. They are basically a Polish jelly filled donut. A local company ordered like 800 for tomorrow not to mention all the other orders. They made a million last year, and sold out by like 8:00 AM. So it is definitely a big day.

Not sure what I'll be doing after. I was kinda thinking of BOGO. We'll see.  The days turn over. One after another,  and we don't really know how much time we have. Are we healthy?   When will our end come?   You don't really know. People kinda assume you'll just keep going. I know from from personal experience one day I turned 40, and a couple weeks later I was 50. Next week I'll probably turn 60, and a few days after that if I am still alive I'll be 100. :)

Time Moves on. Chances are you have no idea what this life thing is about. I don't have such worries. I don't really worry about much I guess. I am not angry at anything really. I don't pay any attention to the news. I feel if people are so divided you can't trust what anyone says. Without trust there is no need to pay attention. Without trust you lost me.

I don't consider my days to be significant, although I know what the outcome of my story is. I don't think of it much, but I did yesterday, and it seemed a bit crazy.

My heart stays humble, cuz it knows the truth. That is a pretty good feeling I tell you. It puts me at peace I guess.

I know this of myself, and I can't not wonder about you. How much tension is in your life?  

As a product of an imperfect society no matter where you were born and raised,  you cannot be at peace. It isn't possible.

There isn't much you can do to improve that either. Your life kinda sucks, but you don't think there is anything better.

The gap between you and I is real, but you cannot comprehend. It isn't possible. You are lost, and you don't know it.

Anyway in this World there are no heroes, but you want them. I don't need them. My path helped me be strong on my own,  cuz I have help you don't even know is possible.

Anyway, I have a big day of work. I'll rest up a bit.

Have a good one.  :)

Saturday, February 25, 2017

It Is Saturday.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am up earlier than I need to, but that typically is the case with me anyway.

I found out yesterday we close on our refi a week from Monday. That is pretty sweet. We took out a little extra money to do our roof,  but we still are only taking out what we originally intended. So all we will have is the house payment,  and the car,  which is only  $100/month. Our lives just got easier.  Sorta easier, we do plan on doing a lot with the house this Summer. I actually feel motivated too, which hasn't been the case for a while.

Other than that not too much going on. I saw a movie yesterday, and I may see one today. I got a text yesterday too to try and skate out early from work today,  cuz it's been a slow week.

I guess yesterday was just about perfect really. Good news. We had a good meal. I slept good,  and I am in a good mood.

I have nothing really serious on my mind. I did think of one thing this morning. The fact I don't really know people. People may tell you some of their day to day, but what else? 

There are probably any number of things to worry about in the World,  and in our lives,  but I am not really concerned with too much.

As long as I've been doing this you would think you know me,  but really you can't. You cannot walk in my shoes in the least. You have no idea.

I guess in a way you don't have any idea what kind of shoes you are walking in. I sorta know,  but am decades removed so not really. I cannot bridge the gap between you and I.

One thing you can say is I am known,  and I am seen. Every little part of me can be seen. My thoughts and all. That gives me strength,  but still you can have no way to know of what I am talking about.

There is a gap between you and I. The truth of this gap is I stand in the better position.

Anyway. I doubt I show up here tomorrow,  but you never know.

Cya.  :)