Friday, August 18, 2017

There Was A Time...

There was a time not too long ago where I was not drinking coffee hardly. These days I mostly am having a cup before work. Not every day, but most days. It helps I have a flavored creamer. I may go for two today.

I tried visiting here yesterday, and it was dumb, and I deleted. It was surprising to me too, cuz I woke up feeling like a million bucks.  No biggie really. If able I do try and visit this thing here. 

Anyway,  I took Hope, and somewhere along the way I realized we have not had tacos yet this week. Day seized,  day made.  :)

I load my tacos with so much stuff it is ridiculous.

So the World is going on. It moves without us even commanding it. Don't you think in life most/all have the universe kind of out of whack?  It seems to me we are kind of born that way, or grow up to be that way. At the center of the universe is us, and the sun, stars, and moon operate outside our sphere of dominance.

I had a thought the other day. If you go to a grocery store, just a local one in your hometown you'll find a lot of pickles. Full size, cut up ones, pickle relish. There will be cucumbers for sale. A lot of jars, and a lot of fresh cucumbers. You expand that to every grocery store in just the U.S.   who the Hell picks all these cucumbers?  How did we get so many? 

I've never seen a cucumber farm. Then you have olives and grapes,  and all the bottles of wine. I think if you look closely at the produce industry it may not be all it's cracked up to be.

To each their own really, but some people don't eat meat, because of the way animals are treated. Who is picking your pickles? 

In the end life is just a tad bit uglier than you think. I have a ton of dog hair under my couch that needs to be vacuumed. I should probably vacuum every day. I don't.

Life is full of too much stuff. I don't think I could ever keep my house perfect, unless I hired a cucumber picker,  and changed his or her occupation.

I think at this stage we should be able to see the World is just a little uglier than we'd like. The perfect avenue seems to be missing, and altogether impossible.

We all our full of weird shit in our minds. What if in actuality this World,  and our life are just a tad bit ugly?  I'd say we all grew up with a false vision. We thought this thing life on average was okay, and we also thought the scales were  balanced pretty favorably in our direction.  The truth was always far away since day 1. Parents are to blame,  and so are our parent's parents. That makes some of you guilty. You have become a false teacher just by having a kid.

Your blessing is now found to be a curse,  cuz you stand guilty. Not to worry though. We are all guilty of some shit, meaning we are not perfect.

Society has been handed down through generations. Progress seems to be coming slowly,  but no one figured out how to change our treacherous human heart. Don't know how to make that better.

Anyway, today is Friday, and I plan on having a day.

At some point during this thing your eyes will become wide open. I don't think this thing will always be easy for you, but it leads in a good way.  I have help.

I'd type all that stuff,  cuz I feel good today, but just a tad too lazy.

Later.   :)

xoxo.  :)

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Nothing About Nothing.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I think I slept okay. I woke up a little before my alarm. A little tired maybe, but I have coffee. I could sleep longer too if I want, but I am good.

Yesterday was just a pretty normal day. Nothing too crazy. My brother stopped by from Chicago just to get away for a day. I think he goes back to work soon. He looked good, and down around 20 lbs. or so.

I think he got scared into a more active lifestyle. Walks around 4 miles/day.

That was pretty much about it. Nothing really significant happened at all. I need to make zuchinni bread. I got a lot. My tomatoes are starting to get ripe, so I will be bombarded soon. Time to get my canning supplies.

Life sure can be pretty uneventful. Day after day of just stuff. TV, movies, and books. Work, eat, sleep.

I hear some stuff happened in Charlottesville.  I don't pay attention to the news, but there are angry people angry at something I guess.

Do people feel cheated?  It seems people think they were promised the American Dream somewhere down the line, and it was snatched from their arms. People get angry, and seek the scapegoat.

If you find yourself mad like that why not seek the real cause.  You are fucked up,  cuz you believe in shit that isn't real.

There is no happily ever after. No such thing. There isn't a perfect match for you or anyone. Life will tend to disappoint,  and a lot is cuz we aren't the same year after year.

In your effort to seek out the perfect life you failed. You didn't do it. You won't either.

People would be much better off being realistic about things. Accept your imperfect lot in life. No matter your labors perfection will be out of reach. No matter what you think your heart is lacking.

Inside people is anger, and jealousy, and any number of things. I can tell you why we all fall short, but you might not like it, and I know you probably won't believe it.

There is nothing about you at all that can make you the best a person can be. You'll find no asset about you that raises you above others. We all are imperfect vessels, and our insides lack the good stuff we need to make us better people.

The truth is pretty harsh really.  I suggest not going out to try to save the World, cuz you will fail. Don't focus on the bad of other people, cuz there is plenty of that everywhere. A lot of people get snagged up in shitty propaganda. Try focusing on you. Why aren't you better as a person?  Change you, and then you can go after others.

For now everything is just about you.  The journey of us is hard enough. Don't worry about others. They play no part in you finding out about you.

Anyway, today will be a day. Don't think anything too crazy will happen.

Cya next time.  :)

Bye.  :)

Monday, August 14, 2017

Woah!! Again?

I just got up a bit ago, and look. It seems we are starting yet another week. Yesterday after work, I just relaxed. I started another book. I decided to start listening to my bounty hunter books on Sunday, and started reading my Medical Examiner forensic crime solver series. I have like 13 bounty hunter books give or take left in my series, and there are 20+ Medical Examiner books in the series. That will keep me busy a while.

I stayed up later than I wanted on Saturday, but did get up when I wanted on Sunday. I was tired though so took an easy day.

Monday is typically a pretty easy day at work, so today should go smooth. I don't really have any plans today after work. Maybe do a little cleaning,  and dinner.

Weekends can be crazy for people so Monday can be a switch back to the Clark Kent version of yourself. I pretty much remain Clark Kent all the time. My life is pretty much a vacation every day I'd say.  I like my days so to speak.  Monday is as good as any other.

Others I don't know. I know it is good for me to work so I do. I'd hate to be a person who had a job last week,  only to wake up Monday unemployed. I know a guy like that. Has a problem with booze. That's a tough Monday,  and a big fucking problem too.

Life can be tough for people I guess. Probably the thing that makes it the toughest is the damn fairy tales we all grow up with. Life is supposed to be fun. Everyone is full of some type of B.S.  Life disappoints a lot cuz our expectations aren't from reality. We grow up with a flawed idea of how our life is "supposed" to be. 

In truth we are in this World, and you really have no idea how your life should be. Everyone is kinda just shoved into society, and the multitudes follow that to their end. A reality which is made up of B.S. History books, and flawed systems, and flawed people.

You can never really get out of it, unless you question it. What if life in society doesn't really matter?  What if the points you think you are collecting within the framework of society are not actually points? 

Life is something most don't get to the bottom of. Been that way since forever.

Anyway, today I'll have a day. It shouldn't be too hard.

I'll cya later.   :)

Bye.  :)

Saturday, August 12, 2017

I Am Up Anyway.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am doing okay. I've been up a while not really doing anything. Laying in bed pretty much, so I got up and made coffee. I may have two cups today.

We had friends over last night. I think we figured if we can throw a party we can have people over. We almost never have people over, cuz Hope is an ass,  but she seems to be chilling as she ages. That's cool. I like cooking,  so we'll do that again. I stayed up past 10:00 pm. :)

I actually stayed up a couple nights this week, and I don't remember sleeping in too much so I feel a bit tired.

I'll work a little longer than normal today, as I'll do extra stuff. We will have dinner, and hopefully an early night sleep for me. Like to get up early on Sunday.

Anyway that is about it. Through work and stuff you meet a lot of people. I don't know the percentage,  but a higher proportion of people have drama in their lives than you would think.

If you live in our society you have to work. You need money to live, and working takes some responsibility. You kinda have to be dependable.

I don't know if people want to go all into the wild or something. Maybe people have dreams of being special. Find our unique niche in life.

You only have one life,  so you better make it special right?  That's the problem. Your life isn't special. None of ours is. Trillions and Gazillions have done this thing,  and all will have some kind of shitty end. I mean Churchill is going to have a movie made of him during the WWII days I believe. He is as colorful a character as anyone who lived.

He died though, and who gives a Fuck about him. That is our eventual ending too. At most we just turn into a memory. That will be all that's left, and even that disappears.

I don't care if people write books about you, and you make it into some type of Hall Of Fame. I will not travel to any Hall Of Fame, cuz I don't give a fuck about that either.

Today is work, eat, sleep. Not much more to it. Maybe watch some tv? 

Life is NOT some epic journey around the sun. It's just this thing that has been done to death since the beginning of time.

Solomon knew people would have been better off not being born,  but we were, so that means you got work to do, sorta.

It's your job to figure out why you are here. What's the purpose, and you start out not knowing, which is exactly where you find yourself now. Not any closer than the day you were born. In that regard you are no better than an infant.

Anyway, I ramble on. I wasn't even going to blog,  cuz not sure I had anything, but I got a little down.

I'll cya probably Monday. I assume my time til then will consist of little drama. The drama filled people just make their life harder.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Laterzzz.   :)

Have fun.  :)

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Day Turned Out Well

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday went pretty good. I didn't fuck up anything at work,  and I had a pretty good day. I had to run some errands yesterday so I drove. I worked an hour later than normal,  but we got a lot done. I think we are set up for a pretty easy Friday. I came home and relaxed for a bit,  and made dinner.

In life all you need is cumin, and just some random pork thawed out from the freezer, and you have a meal. Refried beans, avocado, tomatoes, onions, a couple garlic cloves. And tortilla shells, and you have fajitas. Simple pimple,  and a good meal makes one happy. I had a few glasses of wine too.

That was the extent of my day. Tonight we are having friends over, so it will be steaks tonight on the grill.

My life is simple. Mapped out with a turn really. Who knew this was so easy? 

No looking back, and no worries.  There are secrets here in this blog, but pretty much hidden in however many updates I've had. I don't even remember everything in this blog.

I know at some point we went in the wilderness, so everything looked stupid. Just us and our dumb lives. Not sure what's going on now. Our lives didn't get any better or more important, but it seems mine is just plain easy.

I have no clue about you,  and does anyone even really care?   Here today, and gone tomorrow. What does our life mean?  

I think back when it came time for me to make life's decisions I wanted a life that mattered. In a way mine does,  but inside me I don't think it really does, and I am cool with it.

The truth sets you free, and eventually makes you happy, but it is totally Catch-22. The truth is ridiculous, but in a way Joseph Heller days are all that remain, cuz of a happy heart. The Howard Zinn days don't matter anymore, cuz at the end none of it really mattered anyway. Gotta deal with all the B.S. first,  and then it doesn't matter.

I think people don't deal. Remember those people that bloody Mary day. They didn't have enough liquor in them to deal with their own B.S.  shit is hard before it is easy.

You'd have to be around a while to know what that means. 

Anyway, 

That is it for today!!!   :)

And all that other stuff.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

Thursday, August 10, 2017

I Can Travel More Than A Few Miles.

So, I actually made it to Saugatuck this year. In the Summer we would go at least a few times/year. For me it was always rum runners, and a salmon sandwich on the butler deck. The salmon isn't there anymore. I had an olive burger. My 2nd one ever, and I will order more in the future. I had a rum runner too. They are still good.

It was a school night, so I didn't really whoop it up. I made it to Saugatuck this year though. I really don't travel much. 10 miles is a long way when I can just stay home.

Other than that the major thing yesterday is I fucked up the bread I made the day before. Forgot the ingredient that gave it the flavor. I think probably everyone does it once, and feels like such a dick, they'll never do it again. I kept thinking I forgot something, I should have voiced my concerns, cuz we could taste the dough and know, or just rewalk the steps and remember.

A dumb mistake, and now I have a warning sign internally it seems.

Anyhoo, that was about it. I watered my garden, and grass yesterday. My bil pulled up while I was just chilling, so we went to Saugatuck. I wouldn't have gone on my own. He bought 10 acres near there,  so we checked out his property.

All in all a day. Would have been better if I didn't fuck up the bread, but today is a new day. Weekend approaches. I have some errands today, so I'll probably drive.

That's about it. Pretty much just getting something down I guess.

Anyway, I'll talkatcha later.

Sorry for not deleting.  :)

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

This Is My Life.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday I had a pretty good day. Work was fine. I rode my bike home in what was just a perfect day. I had a plan too. I didn't cut the grass on Monday, cuz of rain,  so I planned on doing it yesterday. I did that,  and dishes. We did tacos yesterday instead of Monday too. That is the makeup of my perfect day.

We ended up going to a dealership to see about a prize we knew we weren't going to win. We didn't win anything. We currently have 3 vehicles, but we may in about 6 months see about getting a new, or new for us car. I think we'll go to that same place, cuz they were really nice. We talked to two really nice people. You expect high pressure from car people,  and these people were just nice. Plain and simple. The girl we spent the most time with was just ridiculously cute. My wife called her a cutey patewtey,  and that really was fitting. She was.

Anyhoo, like I said this is my life. It is simple, and the simplest days are just about perfect for me. I get to wake up feeling like this most days too. Also I realize today will most likely be another perfect day.

There is a difference between who I am and you, but I cannot explain really. You would have to go back to the beginning of this blog, and read every update.  :)

haha, I keed.  

I'm out.

Laterzzz.    :)

Monday, August 7, 2017

The Start Of The Week

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. I slept good last night. I had a good weekend. I easily woke up early for work on Sunday. Made it in by 4:30, when it's been a,struggle to get there at 5:00 AM. That's good. I also saw two movies this weekend. Spider man, and Atomic Blond. They were entertaining enough.

We were sitting down,  getting ready to cook dinner, and I realized I didn't really have a care. I worked on that day, and I was about to eat. Our dinner was easy, and delicious. Bob Evans mashed potatoes. Beans from the garden, and chicken Kievs. So simple, and so good. We watched a little tv, and I crashed. Simple pimple really. I now start off Monday feeling good, and refreshed. I am lucky that way I guess. For me Monday is the same as most days. It's not really the end of the weekend, it is just another day. A day I will have to cut the grass, and a  day we will have tacos.

Pretty exciting huh? 

Anyway, I got nothing I guess, but it is good to be me today.

For no reason, except this life here is pretty simple.

Later.   :)

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Not Exactly Sleeping In Today.

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. I've been up for a couple hours already. I've had my gas station coffee *with vanilla caramel creamer* I am buying some of that shit today.   It is so good. I am buying coffee anyway.

Today I am going to see the spider man movie after work. The time lines up. I can go right after work. I am going to take Hope in a bit, and probably read my book. Another day in the books, and another underway.

There is nothing significant on my mind, and maybe there never is. I feel the World keeps moving on, but I am no part of it. It is kinda like the Matrix. There is pressures of the World,  and many things to worry about, but It doesn't seem to affect me. The World is not my master so to speak.

I am not perfect,  and it is impossible for me to be in the vessel I currently live in.  In that regard you and I are alike. You aren't perfect,  and you will never make anyone else perfect either.

I know things about changing vessels having already gone through a change decades ago. You currently are who you were born as.

We were taught we were special and yadda yadda yadda, but we aren't. No amount of labor or sacrifice makes you the best a person can be. To face our weakness, and helplessness as far as perfection goes ain't a bad thing.

Sometimes I feel people want to prove others wrong to mark their place on a pedestal. I'll help you. Everyone is wrong. None have the answers. You can look everywhere in the World, and you won't find it. You can read every publication and not find it. You can read every book and not find it. Your heroes are flawed. Your heroes blindly lead the blind.

It takes a lot to put a person on the right path, and I don't think anyone has what it takes.

We just go on day after day, and not one of us is any closer to perfection. The difference between you and I is I think that to be significant, you don't. Actually I know it to be.

I've known the shitty truth for awhile. Decades actually. If I could hide it I guess that would be fine, but it is your job to face it. I'd suggest doing it. It's for your own good,  although you are blind toward that.

Anyway, today I have a day. There is a lot of stuff that should be done around the house. I don't see getting it all done.  :)

I'll talkatcha later.

Byeeeee.   :)

Friday, August 4, 2017

I Spose

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. It is Friday,  and I get to sleep in tomorrow. A lot of times I get up earlier than I have to, so really I could sleep longer most days. Sunday it isn't always easy for me to get to work at 5:00 AM. That is the only day I struggle getting up. Of course I could go in at 6,7, or 8:00, but I like to get in early to leave early.

There is absolutely nothing too crazy going in my life, so this blog is running out of things to say. I try and give it a whirl if I can. I suspect life for many is nothing too crazy and exciting. We pretty much live our day to day til we die.

The World is such a way, and people are such a way that our day to day gets filled with more and more BS,  lives get too busy. People get tired,  and no one ever gets ahead in life. Our day to day is probably filled with us getting just a bit more behind. More shit to do we put off.

We do like our down time. I do too, and I take it without any guilt. If there is a smart way to live I probably don't do it. I work every day, and you know what I like about that?  I typically don't have those Monday mornings dreading how much money I spent on the weekend. I made money on the weekend. If there is one smart thing I do I'd say it is that. My life is pretty simple, and I can find down time every day. Perhaps too much.

I guess that is another thing I may do that's smart. While people entrench themselves with more and more day to day stuff they strangle themselves. The plant you are should flourish,  but the weeds of the World kill you. It is like you are tangled in a spider web.

My life is work, eat, sleep,  with down time. Also I typically never get as much done every day as I'd like, but sometimes I do.

Life is better the more simple it is, but there are a lot of variables. Hearts strive, so who can be content not chasing after wind?  The World is such a way it makes us busier and busier. Who is strong enough to stand up to the World? 

Also we all are a product of the World so we accept as truth shit that is not. You have to throw everything you know away. You have to do it for a couple reasons. If you don't you cannot see anything objectively. You'll just be a mess. Another reason is because the World is just flat wrong,  and you are a product of that. It's what we are born into.

Anyhoo

I guess that's it.

I may see you hear tomorrow.

Laterzzz.   :)

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Some Days It Is Like This.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I has just enough coffee left to make a 1/2 cup. I don't really have anything to blog about, but what the heck.

Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I was tired after work for the 2nd day in a row. That happens I guess. A final stretch before school starts. Labor day will be here, and things chill out a bit til Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

People will still work,  but kids are in school. Homework,  exams, after school B.S., and whatever else it is parents do. My life won't change much. The weather will change, but I'll still be doing the same stuff. Dinners change with the seasons. Soup, and chilli, and lasagna, and meatloaf will be made. I guess we'll still do tacos too of course.

I will wear a jacket when biking, and another season of man vs. leaves will be upon us. The years do really start to fly by. I have a colonoscopy coming up in two months. I am pretty confident that will come out fine. I saw my blood work results. They test for a lot of minerals, and vitamins it seems. Everything was in the normal range. My blood sugar I was happy to see at ~45. Normal range I think is 40-99. I fasted during this time so it may be higher normally,  but I think that is good.

My life goes on. Typically outside work many times I don't get as much done as I like. I fail every day maybe. It doesn't wear on me though.  It is just life. We busy ourselves with unimportant stuff a lot I guess.

I don't know people all too well I guess. One thing I count on is I wake up typically feeling okay. I have a day before me, and we'll see how it plays out.

Anyway, like I said not much to blog about.

Sorry I hit publish instead of delete.   :)

Have a good one, I may see you here tomorrow.

Laterzzz.  :)

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

A View Of The World.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I was lazy after work yesterday, so I will have to get some stuff done today. I did miracle gro my garden though. Probably for the last time.

Anyway I've been up a while thinking of things. One is the light in me, which I cannot explain to you. It helps me be seen. It also lets me know all is seen. It is my strength I would say. No one can do anything to me, cuz I still have that.

You cannot know what that is like, you don't have it. So it is not really necessary I talk about it. In this way I stand alone. It makes me unique in a way, but it is a gift. Not one thing special about me, except the willingness long ago to make the turn. That is it. I denied myself as it were.

The World was there for my taking, kinda,  but I was broken sorta, and I wanted a better life than whatever I could muster. My story is a turn coupled with obedience. Once fear is installed obedience is a no brainer. One would be foolish not to be. One time outside the garbage room, I could have rebelled, but I played it smart.

Anyway like I said before that story has been told to death. I was thinking this morning of people just going on with their lives. The World is like a big parking garage, but no cars. People are walking with expressionless faces up and down the ramps of this great big parking garage. I can try do get inside their brains, but they are closed. Locked so no one can see.  What is the purpose of you walking up and down these ramps?  To what gain do you do this? 

I can see that far into people, and that is probably a real part of you. There also is the other part that shows various types of pageantry the World is full of.

I think you are an expressionless person in this big parking garage. The parking garage serves no purpose, but you still walk in it, cuz what else is there? 

To no end we wander in this place.

Weird.

Anyway that is what I thought about today, before I got up.

Today will be a day, and I am predicting a good one. Not sure what to do for dinner.

I'll figure that out later. 

Have a good one.  :)

xoxo.   :)

Monday, July 31, 2017

On Any Given Day.

Sheesh, you never really know what to expect on any given day. I feel like I am changing a bit, but not really sure how. Who knows? 

I had a pretty uneventful weekend. Work, eat sleep really. Something different and minor happened at the grocery store. I worked extra, basically switch out two promos instead of the normal one. I was getting tired as I was getting close to done, so I took a break. I normally just get my stuff done and leave,  but I chugged a Pepsi. I don't really drink pop much at all, but I knew that carbonation and caffeine would perk me right up. It did.

Pickle season is almost over, and I have too many cucumbers. I have a good sized bowl of vinegary cucumbers, and like 7 not cut.  Squash and zucchini will still go for a bit, and tomatoes will explode soon. I are my first cherry tomatoe yesterday.

So anyway, as you can tell not much new to me, outside of me feeling a bit different. Maybe it's nothing,  but life is all about how you feel on the inside. I always feel pretty good, but now maybe even a bit better.

So, I will have a day today. The weather gets chilly at night, and I think the leaves will turn early because of it. I haven't checked the weather, but it's been pretty nice. High like 80, and lows like 60° 

Omg, this is a pretty dumb update. I should delete it, but sometimes I make you read these dumb ones for the fun of it.

Hee hee

Cya next time.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Since I Am On A Roll Of Sorts.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was okay as far as days go. Got my blood work back. Everything is normal, but my cholesterol is high. 3 things on their own mean pretty much nothing, but lumped together = no good. Blood pressure,  cholesterol,  and family history. We caught it at 50 though,  so we know it's there. You think about some hidden thing you don't really control can end your days like that.

Blood work shows liver function, thyroid, and all that,  and everything was normal. Once you hit 50, I guess that's good to know. I've been healthy feeling since forever,  and one thing I don't pay attention to is diet so much.  I don't eat fast food much. Typically we cook our meals, do it's not like we are eating a ton of processed foods. If I eat tacos or pizza, I load up on cheese. Don't even ask me about lasagna.  ;)

There are things I can do better. We always do a veggie, but maybe I can increase portions of that. Diet is something important, and I don't put much thought into it. Mostly, cuz I know I don't eat horribly. Also I weigh as low as I have for a couple decades.

Anyway, just something about me. Today I work, and tomorrow I can sleep in. I don't have much planned. I think we are going to cook out at Lisa's brothers house. Tomorrow I'll buy canning stuff.

Another Day in this dull life, but all things being equal I'd rather be alive. The days do end eventually,  I just want mine to end at a later date. I don't know the optimal time a person should die. Probably once it is hard to be active I would think.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Cya.  :)

xoxo.  :)

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Gum Wrapper Smell In A Non-Stick Spray, And Other Can't Miss Ideas.

Good morning. How's it Going?  Me, I am doing okay. I survived yesterday. Going 21 hours with eating nothing but vinegary cucumbers is not as easy as I thought. I don't remember not eating ever being a big deal. Back in my younger years I had no problem eating one meal every 2 days to lose weight. After HS I found out I could gain weight easy, so I lost weight a lot in probably the stupidest way possible.

Anyway toward the end of work if I leaned down,  and got up,  I would feel light headed. It could be work is more strenuous than I think. We do stay busy. Also those with normal blood pressure have that happen more frequently than those with high blood pressure. I learned that the other day. Maybe a combination of the two. That is done though,  I have my colonoscopy coming up,  and then I am done with the doc barring sickness. If my past is any indication I do not get sick.  I never even get a headache. Even if I drink a lot for me,  I still never get a headache. Crazy huh? 

Anyway, that was about it for me. We made pizza last night. The dough we make at the bakery is so good. Best crust ever. I think it is the splash of honey we put in it that gives it the flavor.

I checked my garden yesterday. I picked 4 more cucumbers, and another round getting ready. I will soon be bombarded with yellow squash.  I picked 2 zuchinni at the perfect size. It doesn't take long for those to explode. Vegetables growing from the plant is kinda a crazy thing huh?  Zuchinni, and squash grow their satellite like leaves. It collects the sun,  and after a while this huge healthy plant has veggies come off it. With zuchinni too if you skip a day looking it may be 3 times the optimal size,  and you then are making zuchinni bread. I have marveled at my garden this year.

Today after work I don't have to go anywhere, but home. That's good. I wonder how my cholesterol will come out. I have no idea. I know it used to be high,  but I think I eat better now than when last checked. No clue though. I haven't been checked in forever.

I saw a picture of me from a few years back. I was carrying a couple extra pounds. It makes me wonder how I got down to my lowest weight in forever.  I haven't really been trying, it just happened. Maybe just being on my feet doing stuff every day. Also my appetite isn't as big as it once was. If I went out and ordered a burger, I probably wouldn't touch the fries. I may not even finish the burger. I wonder if that is an age thing. 

A lot of things to think about in life huh?  I wake up early a lot. Right now if you asked me what my optimal day would be, I am not sure. I think working,  and coming home to do whatever is about it. This is all I know, and it seems pretty good to me.

So today I basically got nothing. It happens.

Today will be a day. It shouldn't be horrible. Most days are pretty easy kinda. It's not hard living my life. Every day I could pretty much do more than I do after work,  but who cares. There will be a meal, and there will be sleep. The days really aren't worth keeping track of. They all fall from our memory.

Anyway, enough from me.

Til next time.

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.  :)

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

The Garden Variety Haberdashery

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I went to the doctor yesterday. He just wanted to check my blood pressure from the month before. My blood pressure has run high since forever,  but I came in at 136/88, so that ain't too bad. I am going to get my blood work done today. I was supposed to do it earlier, but I was sold on fasting the night, and doing it at 5:00 AM before work. I guess I don't like fucking around with my nights. My new plan is to eat dinner last night, and have my usual night. This morning I ate some cucumbers, and a cup of coffee. I can drink water all day, and do the blood after work. It occurs to me, I really don't need to eat anything at work. Big deal. The days don't matter,  but don't fuck with my nights. Of course when I get my prostrate checked, that night is fucked. A later date though. One more thing about blood work is who the fuck knows what it shows? I have no idea. I guess we'll find out.

Other than that I got a canning book from the liberry. Tomatoes will not kill me. I can make salsa, marinara, and tomatoes for chilli. Can them, and I have that stuff for a year. I may can some pickles too. I only have two plants, so not really wasting any.

That's that. My day in a nut shell. I think of stuff sometimes when I am awake in bed. My life was this major thing happening years back. A lot of stuff I held inside. It was locked in me. I couldn't tell my story if I wished. Those were the dead years, and eventually the lock was unlocked. My story came out,  and for me it was kinda a big deal. I got to know people a bit with this thing, and some got to know me. More than I imagine or fewer than I think. I have no clue. It is the nature of this beast.

Anyway these days none of it even matters. My story has been told to death. Nothing really matters. There really isn't anything significant anymore you know. The story of me is over, except one final thing. This World doesn't matter to me. The hidden stuff trumps all. I know the trump card. It isn't hidden from me. I know the forces unseen having experienced them. I kinda think it silly for me to tell you of these things, cuz you cannot know until you experience stuff. As you stand now I don't see it happening. Not that I would know, but as far as I can tell people are just a part of this World, and that story has been going on for millions of years. A lot of people found themselves walking this planet through no planning of their own. It is a thing to ponder the point of it all. We're here, and we die. The World keeps people tied down to Worldly things, but everyone has a different side to them. As you get older I imagine it is harder to get to,  and let's face it, people are getting old.

People seek wisdom in things said by people who die, or are dead. People seek out their own greatness I think,  but we are just here by chance kinda. Your 5 year plan didn't have your Mom and Dad screwing at the drive in 5-1/2 years before you were born.

So why are you here?  What's the purpose?  Don't tell me it is to make this World a better place cuz that ain't happening. People are too angry. They get attached to some propaganda and hold it for truth. So they teach blind people their blind beliefs. Everyone is a false teacher until they stumble upon the truth. At that point they probably stfu,  cuz we realize we've been hypocrites this whole time.

In a World of people I have nothing to learn,  besides maybe canning tomatoes. :)

Anyway, I am out.

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.  :)

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

I Am Up, so What The Heck

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am up so I thought I'd try this. I really didn't do much yesterday. I watered the garden. Still wondering about those tomatoes. Once they hit I am dead. I will have so many. My yellow zuchinni/squash things come at a normal pace. I cannot eat enough cucumbers. Green beans are nice,  on any given day you can get a lot, but you can eat a lot too in one meal.   I also played this stupid golf game on my phone. I didn't read or listen to my books, and I didn't watch tv. I dreamt a lot last night. Actually I have been dreaming a lot tbh. Nothing important or significant.

That is about it. Life is an endless string of days. Seemingly endless I guess. What can one do to make the most out of their life?   It's a good question. I guess I had that question in my younger years. Life pulled, and my mind saw nothing, but the wilderness. I was solo, recently graduated from College,  and the World was ahead of me. What To do? 

Having dealt with death, and my own shortcomings I figured I'd continue doing my hospital job I had while still in school. I would watch, wait, and maybe try to be the best a person can be. What I was supposed to do was get an entry level position somewhere, or grad school. I liked school, so that is what I leaned toward probably.

I guess what got me in the end was as a person trying to be the best I could be, I sure wasn't. At some point I met honest Lora, and I decided to follow the path of honesty. You'd be surprised how all of us lie often. Fake smiles,  and trying to always be in a good mood. I've told this story before, but I was talking to a pretty blond girl at work. Talking about girlfriends  and stuff. Instead of trying to impress her with my Saintly traits I told her I cheated on my ex.

That too is something.  A person who is supposed to be a good person shouldn't be thinking about sex with girls so much should they?  You can carry guilt in anything.

What I learned is we have no control over our thoughts and desires. Stupid shit pops in our heads for no apparent reason. A human is a bundle of weakness and imperfection,  but we package ourself as just the opposite. We are a mess, and the World turns us all into  liars.

So anyway in my struggles I found the hidden way. It was with much help, because it's been hidden for centuries, and I surely on my own am not anything. I can't imagine what kinda shit life I would have lived if I followed my own devices.

So I went through a great struggle. Suffering much, I made it through two trials. Things you cannot fathom, because you haven't experienced the hidden part of life. Those who do psychedelic drugs may get a glimpse of some stuff, and maybe not. It is a side of life you don't do control. You have no knowledge of it, and you don't understand the forces involved. My struggles were probably not unlike Job's tale.  The bet was won, cuz that was the plan. I will overcome 3 times, cuz that too is the plan.   I suspect I enter Hell as the antichrist. If my past is any indication. My 3rd time will be no joke. It's the real deal.

I guess I found out about life at a time when I could have gone in any direction. Sure there was the Worldly side of me that had great ideas of an excellent life,  but the quiet person in me that just wanted to be a good person won out. I walked in darkness,  but little known to me my path was lit by a hidden source.

The light currently is inside me too. Invisible to you, but I can feel it. It is what makes it easy being me. I guess I'll eventually give that up for a bit, and get even something better. The timing is not up to me though.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.

Til next time.

Cya.

Monday, July 24, 2017

What To Do With One Of These.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I just had another weekend, and I guess it was fine. Nothing major went on, which basically is how my life pretty much is. I worked, ate, and slept. Yesterday I watched movies after work. There really wasn't anything I wanted to do, so that's what I did.

How I feel on the inside I can't really say. Indifferent maybe. Life is not a big deal,  and I know it. My life is just a little thing of little significance. I have no bucket list,  cuz none of this stuff matters.

I know this of life, but no one else really does. I suspect everyone thinks their life is a BIG deal.  Life is about death, cuz everywhere you look that is what happens. For a while I will get a ton of tomatoes, but those plants will all be dead in a few months. All the bugs you see outside will disappear in a bit. The same can be said of people too. Most will live under 100 years. The lucky ones anyway. Those years will fly by. Once you hit 40 the years quicken their pace, and we race toward our graves.

We bought houses,  and cars, and clothes. Other stuff too. Things to decorate our houses, electronics and whatnot.

What did it all matter?  It doesn't. This life means nothing. People must feel that deep down. It is why we try to escape our own minds. Maybe we get sucked into a purpose via some type of propaganda. I am going to kill these people for the greater good.

I don't know what a good trait vs. A bad trait is, but anger probably isn't a good one, and I bet people are filled with anger at times for no apparent reason. It's just there. We search our hearts for the source,  and our minds come up with some B.S.  a lot of the stuff inside you comes from something you are not sure of. You don't know the source. I know the source of your conflict. You are two entities in one. One tries to keep you attached to the World. The other yearns for freedom. You have an internal battle some of you. Some are just way too overtaken, and the World is their master.  Some want a better life. They want to feel better about themself.

All the things you want are out of your power basically. Just being fulfilled, confident, and knowing you have the truth on your side is a good thing. Worth more than any money you can accumulate. I don't know how our minds get so deceived equating Worldly things as freedom.

Freedom is being without doubt. Carrying no blame, and no guilt. It is knowing the truth about you, and this World. It is being seen. Being accepted although you aren't perfect. Life is about so much stuff you don't even know possible.

Life is about something entirely different than who you are today. It is about something different than what you think now too.

Life is about death I guess. Coming to terms with it, and accepting it.

Anyway today will be another day. The only questions I really have are what will I do after work. I am not sure.

We'll see.

Cya next time.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

X Off Another Day.

I just marked another x off on the calendar. That puts me one step closer to my goal. Oh wait, I don't have any goals. Shoot, but if I did...

Anyway, yesterday was a day. It was okay as far as days go. I got everything done at work I wanted besides one thing we were short on ingredients. It comes in today though. I made zuchinni bread when I got home. I fudged the recipe a bit, cuz I didn't have baking powder, but the flavor was good. It still rised a bit too. I underbaked it a bit, but it has good flavor. I added some pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon too to give it a bit of that flavor. I have stuff to do with extra zucchini besides grilling it. I can make muffins too. Wanna know something about that?  It is fun. Even the cat liked it, cuz there are a bunch of chunks off the top of it this morning.  :)

Anyhoo,  other than that not much going on. Lisa's brother took us out for dinner. We did bogo,  and Lisa had nachos. We had a couple beers. He closed on his house in Hawaii last week, so his life is settled down. He just wants to find a way to have his money make money. He wants to be retired at 44 or however old he is.

I don't have much on my plate today outside of work. I should clean the kitchen when I get home, water the garden. I'll probably listen to my book, and we'll have a meal.

I guess my life is uncomplicated. I don't look back at anything. There are no miscalculations I made. The grass doesn't look greener anywhere, except in my own life. I have no desire to be anyone else, but me.

I can look at anyone's life, and it doesn't matter who. I'd rather be me than you, cuz I've already done most of my stuff. Who I am today is not who I would be if I haven't done what I did.

A story started long ago, where in a way I am in another dead year area. We aren't doing much really, and the serious stuff that can pop up anytime isn't really here now.

We all wait kinda, but I am not sure for what. I assume people will be pulled from life, but I can't say for sure.

All I know is I have one final thing to do. It is what I wanted decades ago, although I know it won't  be pleasant.

Life goes on though,  and it would be interesting maybe to see it through your eyes, but maybe not too.

I know too much which is a problem. I know hearts deceive, and people do too. Everyone probably  thinks they are special in some way. Unique in a way that sets them apart.

We aren't though. One of the trillions who walked a short time in this place.  Not really doing anything,  but living day to day. Everyone at some point has been deceived at their own seeming importance is my guess.

We are all we know. Our minds don't really graduate past our human understanding, unless we go down a very unique path. The road less traveled as it were. The one we are not the author of.

I suspect some think they've gone down that path,  but nothing could be further from the truth. You are a product of this World, society,  upbringing, and you. You haven't graduated past the multitudes. You are a part of them.

Anyway, I guess that is it.

Today will be a day.

Cya.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Things Seem Different To Me.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had a pretty normal weekend. I was pretty unplugged which I find myself doing more and more. I actually got an email from FB saying a lot has happened since you last logged in. That never happened before,  so I still haven't logged in. I didn't log into the other one either this weekend.

No reason really, except I wasn't really interested in seeing anything. On Friday I binge watched a show on Netflix. Gypsy I think it was called. A Netflix original. One season 11 episodes. It is about a shrink who gets involved in her clients lives. Totally unethical, and her life starts getting tied up in lies.  It spirals out of control. I don't know if it was a good show or bad,  but I liked it. I finished listening to my 30 hour book finally.  The Goldfinch. I liked that. Got another book to listen to. I have to read my other one too. Started arrested development. Checked my garden yesterday and watered it. I have like a foot long zuchinni. Oops.  :)  it is wider than my arm. Our car got fixed too. Not sure what to do with it.

A pretty good weekend I guess. I stay entertained. I saw a movie yesterday too. Baby Driver with Kevin Spacey.

Why are things different now?  Remember how I say I get interested in less and less stuff. I am interested in real life I guess. You get that from books and movies. Maybe that is why I have zero interest in logging into social networking. You can pretty much guess what you'll see before you even look.

Life is pretty fucked up for all really. You don't control your heart so that thing can take you down any number of roads. You aren't perfect,  and either is anyone else you are acquainted with. Nothing you can do about it. Lives are busy. One day you wake up, and you realize a week has passed in a blur. Next thing you know you are 40. 50 comes next and so on.

Life is about loss and imperfection. Along the way people die, and you will too. Your end you will not escape. What I cannot tell about people is how they feel now. Life grinds on, and it is a pretty silly thing. We all our working toward the weekend and retirement I guess, but that is supposed to be the fun stuff I guess. I work weekends, cuz I don't really need a day off. I don't really like vacations either.

So what am I working toward?  Nothing. I am here for the day to day.  I don't like hanging out at beaches or anything. I like being at home. I am boring, and really we all are, cuz we aren't doing anything real exciting in life, cuz there isn't much exciting about it.

Anyway, this was a dumb entry.  I don't care though.

Cya.

Friday, July 14, 2017

A Moment Of Clarity.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Actually I feel pretty darn good. I am not sure why really.  Our white Chrysler has been sitting for a year,  and we are getting it fixed this weekend. When we took it to a garage 1-1/2 years ago they wanted over $1000 to fix it. Our mechanic is going to charge us $420. We knew we could get a deal fixing it, but we bought the new for us car from the widower,  and didn't really need it. We still don't need it, but we'll have it anyway. That way I can split between the car and truck where my 3000 miles of driving/year go. Actually not really sure what we are going to do. We may just sell it.

Other than that I totally am having a normal week. Perhaps a bit more productive outside of work than normal.

The house is clean,  and nothing terribly pressing that needs to get done. Sometimes I take a step outside myself and look in, and it is pretty good. I know I can be an asshole probably,  and cold. All of us are part asshole, but I carry confidence and assurance too.

I know more things than all too. Not e=mc2 shit, but hidden parts of life shit. I guess we all suspect we have the answers, but I actually do. You actually don't. I went out and found them/they actually got thrown in my face. In a time I anxiously seeked security I found there was no reason for me to feel secure. At a time when I just wanted to be good I found out there is nothing of value in me.

So anyway I ran the gauntlet of fear. I stared condemnation in the face and accepted it. Not with a strength of my own mind you. My whole route was successful not cause of me.  I was just a normal person who once was an insecure kid. I've been given gifts you cannot really measure in bank account statements. I've walked this Earth here and learned many things very few have. I mean seriously a minuscule percentage. Not cuz I am smart or anything, but it was part of my walk. To learn things. Given things most will never know til it's too late.

I don't have understanding yet, and that is something very few have ever received. I remember long ago before my days in the wilderness I tried being a teacher, when I thought everything was easy. I was full, and pretty sure I was the best a person can be. I was reproved at some point, cuz I was showing people they really were naked. We all are Adam in the long run, but like him all are ashamed of their nakedness.

I think it is safe to say now you are like the emperor with no clothes. You have nothing to show for your time here on Earth that stands up to scrutiny.

Society may give you a pass,  but life was always about just a little more. For the courageous who don't mind looking at it. Facing your fears so to speak.

In the end we wear no clothes cuz we ain't all that.

I kinda wonder if I even remember this next part. I always typed it out each day.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. what to do today after work...   hmmm

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's    xoxoxoxoxo

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

Laterzzz Gaterzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.    :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx ooooooooooo.  :)

I think that's it.  It's been a while. :)

Have fun.  

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Fitting A Square Peg In A Round Hole.

Sometimes I think that is what life is like. The Day by day goes so fast, and I am pretty sure no one ever gets all the things done.

I was thinking about just a few years ago where I was working 3rd shift, and every weekend. Now I work 1st shift and every weekend. That fits me much better.

Before getting up I was thinking about what I put in here. It probably seems depressing,  and I guess it is. Lives mean nothing. There are no points for you walking this Earth. There are no points for your day to day stuff you do. Sacrifices are of no value. Basically you are here accomplishing nothing of value, although I doubt you accept that.

I have gathered points in my journey, and none of it was my plan. None of it was in my 5 and 10 year plans, cuz I was completely blind where points were concerned.

Even now I know my story. I know some of the things that must happen,  but as to how and when I have no clue.

So we are here in the wilderness. You are saddled with nothing of value, cuz this place is desolate. All the things you ever believed in have been thrown to the side,  cuz you weren't born right in this place. Life is a thing  you would have been better off not doing. Only problem is you are, and it wasn't your choice. Some even brought more people here, cuz that is what people do.

In following the masses you assumed all this shit was right. If you ask the question what if everything is wrong? You have to be prepared to accept the answer.

Remember years ago I told you the hardest thing you ever do will be the truth. The truth is a nasty sort of business. It goes against the grain of all life and all teaching.

Few reach the truth. I did kinda accidentally sort of.  It wasn't my plan. I was led on the direction I went. Life pulled. I felt a bit of the wilderness,  cuz life looked stupid.

Metaphorically I told you years ago you have to drink the kool aid,  cuz you have to lose your life to find it.

It is a hard thing to tell people these things, cuz they dont really accept it. Only problem is though you have no other route available of any worth. How will you impress people with any activity in the wilderness? 

Here we collect no points,  and those who cling to things not true, well...   who has time for them?  Surely not me. I have way too many more unimportant things to do.

I'll cya. 

:)   lol.  Welcome to my blog.  Sorry,  not sorry.     :)

Laterzzz. 

Monday, July 10, 2017

I'd rather read my book.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I worked, and pretty much just listened to my book during and after work.

We had our party on Friday. It was fun, but I am pretty sure we'll never have one again. Too much work,  and too much clean up. Not that I really did much, but it seems like a lot of effort. 

For some silly reason I was doing shots with one of Lisa's work mates. Silly. Pretty fun though. I got about as hungover as I get, which is basically a little tired. I slept almost all the way til I had to go to work. We had a ton of beer left over. Still do. I gave a case to Lisa's friend.

Life goes on I guess. Not much major going on with me. Trying to get through my books I guess, and watering my stuff. Life is pretty busy really. It seems there are more things to get done than time to do it. My life is easy too. I sometimes wonder of people with kids, and how much they must mess up every day of their lives.

Social functions to attend, work,  cleaning,  Bill paying,  whatever. Life seems like an avenue of complete failure,  which we wrap in a nice clean sheet, and show the World we are blameless   say the right things, wear the right clothes.

These days I don't really look at much.  There isn't much to see, and I tend to think people are afraid to show their most honest self.

People judge so who can stand up to It?  After our party I kept thinking of how all these people shared in just a bit of my life.  Kinda random and stuff, but we all still live separate lives.

The perfect life, and the perfect life situation is out of grasp. Our hearts always yearn, until you can realize and accept the truth. You are here for a while, and then you will pass. As far as I am concerned the days are filled with work, eat, sleep,  but that is what my heart is content with,  cuz when I pass none of it even mattered in the long run.

Anyway I am going to read my book.

I'll cya later.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

I Ate Beans From The Garden.

So one of my bean plants had like a billion beans on it, so I made green beans to go with my tacos last night. Lisa had to do a million errands yesterday, so I figured tacos. I was sorta planning on getting blood work done today,  then I sorta planned not to. Didn't feel like not eating past 5:00 last night so I'll do it Tuesday.

Eventually I am going to have to juice or can tomatoes,  because I will have more than even I can eat. First I have to learn how to do it.

On any given day I can have too much I wanna get done. Cut grass, clean kitchen, trim grass, water grass, water garden, read my two books,  listen to my other etc...

I love my down time too. Where I don't do shit. Then I ate a meal. I also worked 8 hours.

I went to bed at a normal time, and woke up early. I like waking up early. It gives me down time,  and I can walk Hope. After this week, I kept thinking things will get to normal, but I have too much stuff I want to do, and a lot of lazy I like to be. Lisa has had a busy week, so she will want to rest from her week off. Her daughter is getting married, and we are having a little party at our house. So she's been busy. Luckily I tractor watered our front yard this year, so it has never looked better. I like to look at it.

Other than that things are pretty normal. I work,  eat, sleep. I have a meal at the end of my day.

I had a couple days off this week, and I pretty much would rather work. That is my normal. That is my balance I guess. You do what makes you feel the best.

I think I have been that way forever. As long as I am working I feel mostly pretty good. I never was truly excited after a weekend off, it was only after returning to work I would feel better. In my younger years I think doing nothing made me not feel so great. Guilty I think.

Just a weird thing about me. Maybe if you read this thing you've known that about me for a while.

Anyway, in your quest to find out the truth of life,  do you wonder why your heart is never content?  Every day we probably lose a battle with ourself,  and maybe the gray clouds pop up on a bright sunny day.

At the end of the day you want your heart to always be happy, but you are really not sure how to go about it.

I am going to take Hope now and listen to my book.

Thank you for taking time to read this update about nothing.  :)

So glad I could make it long for you.  :)

Later.  :)

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

No Clue About A Title.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I slept in today. I did wake up at 3:00 AM, but was able to fall asleep for another 4 hours. This is my 2nd day off in 3 days. I wasn't totally stoked about the first one, but today is good.

It is Summertime now. A great time of year. We don't have horrible humidity.

There is nothing major going on with me as is the case most of the time. I go for my colonoscopy in Sept. Can't wait.  ;)  j/k.

My cucumbers are coming in. My tomato plants are great. A couple already have little tomatoes starting. Squash will be coming pretty quick. Beans too.

Other than that just doing day to day. Nothing too exciting, and nothing too crazy.

Life is kinda a crazy thing. We don't master it, and we don't beat it. Death eventually overtakes us all.

Somehow I imagine we all want to be special. Unique. Something about us that singles us out from others. I learned my truth long ago, and unfortunately everyone else's too. We are so not special. We are nothing significant,  although we think we are. We think our life is. If we were one of the people who got bombed in Dresden we'd be remembered as much as them. People would think about you as much as you think of them. Life is random. It is a dangerous place this World,  but really death wins no matter what.

Life is filled with time. From day of birth til death, and most important decisions are based on that final thing. You don't escape the end line.

It us up to you to make the wisest decisions based on your certain death. You may not be able to see the finish line, cuz if life hasn't beaten you down my guess is you cannot and will not overcome yourself. If that is the case you are wasting your time coming here. Conversely you are a waste of my time too, cuz I am doing what I do. Not what I asked,  and not what I mapped out.

In the wilderness no one is special either so there is that too.

Anyway. Today will be a day. Going to a cook out at Hawaii Brian's,  and tomorriw we start the work thing again.

Til next time. Not sure when that will be, because it feels like this blog is running out of things to say.

You never know though.

Cya. 

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Starting Another Day.

I've been sleeping in a lot so imagine my surprise on my day to sleep in I am up by 3:00. I putzed for a bit. I went to the Dr. for the first time in forever. My blood pressure is high, which I knew. It's run high since forever. With both my brothers history though he thought it significant. I'll get blood work done later next week.

I did weigh 162 lbs. I was surprised. My running PR weight is 167. I am 5 lbs under that. I don't run. I've been planning on getting new running shoes,  but we had to put some money in the vehicles so I can hold off. My knees won't be into any major running anyway. If I could; which maybe I can, I bet I could be fast for me. I was shocked at the weight though. Did not expect it. I haven't stepped on a scale in a year or two.

My brother John just had successful quadruple bypass surgery so he gets a new start on life. Time for his 2nd life. That could mean any number of changes.

I feel good to have a doctor now, and be a part of the health thing. It is a shame many cannot afford to be involved in their health, because the powers that be don't think it a priority. The systems the "smart" people have come up with are pretty shitty. I am not a fan of Health insurance at all. No way that is the best way to go.

Healthy people end up getting screwed. Pay a lot of money for nothing. Anyway, genetically I probably have a bad ticker. Like Jim Fixx was it?  The running guy who died of a major heart attack?  You can't run away from your genetics.

I am at a good weight. I don't smoke. I drink, but never to the point of getting a headache or being hungover. I could probably eat less cheese, at that stage though is life even worth living?  I keed    ;)

So I work a bit today,  and have all of tomorrow off. I work on Monday and have all of Tuesday off. My Dad is like 80, and still healthy, and my real mom is still alive and healthy. No cancer I know of runs anywhere so I use that too.

I am having a colonoscopy scheduled,  cuz I am at that age. That's about it. I am like 33 years graduated from HS, and I weigh 12 lbs more. I think that is crazy. I once was 217 though many years ago.

Today will be a day. There will be work and a meal,  and barring rain, some watering.

Til next time.

Adios.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Up Early With Coffee.

I am up early today. For some reason I have been sleeping in. I usually assume I'll wake up, and do this. Sometimes I'll start one and delete it, cuz it is dumb.

Anyway I remain busy with work and stuff. My veggies are coming in good,  and my front lawn looks good. The tractor sprinkler is pretty sweet,  and easy to use.

My brother John is going in for a triple bypass today. He is 52. He carries an extra 100 lbs. My brother Jim died before 50, and he carried an extra 200 lbs.

I have no idea how they ate. Fast food a lot I presume. Not sure if they ever really made real meals. I like cooking. Lucky for me my jobs are not sedentary. I carry no extra weight I don't believe. Genetically I could carry extra weight, but my appetite isn't in to huge portions anymore, and I  am too busy I think.

I did think of life though. Mine is pretty normal. My childhood was just fucked  up enough to be normal.

What does a lifetime amount to?  You follow society along the whole way. Go to school, get jobs, have kids, and get a house. If you are normal you probably have been divorced. If you are normal maybe you haven't.

One day you still are going to die. On the outside looking in my life has to be boring as Hell.  I still work, and look forward to a meal at the end of the day. The World and life probably carry a lot of promise for you. Exciting and Earth shattering stuff, but it is really nothing we do. Outside of work, eat sleep you may have a hobby. Something to occupy the time.

Inside all people is probably some idea of happily ever after. We are here a while and then gone. I don't know, there isn't much to life.

I guess everyone carries baggage in life. It hasn't been fair. I've gone through my baggage and dealt with it. So nothing ties me down. I don't have to pretend about anything ever being perfect. The funny thing about my route is in the end I owe no one anything. I don't answer to people. It makes me cold hearted probably, but none of our hearts are perfect to begin with.

So here is an update. It is about me and my life I guess, which I find to be pretty boring kinda. I don't mind boring though. I'll still have a meal at the end of the day.

Dumb entry I know. Who cares though.

I'll cya.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

It's A Better Year.

This year I seem to be doing more stuff. I water my tomatoes every day there is no rain. Zucchini,  beans, and cilantro, and cucumbers too. It really is all about the tomatoes. I water the front grass too.

I dont remember anything about last year, but I remember not doing that. It's almost July, and I was happy to get the lawn mowed. It's always a chore,  but it is good to get done.

Looking around though it seems I end up getting more and more things on the list of things to get done. Life is busier in the Summer, cuz in the winter outside of shoveling there isn't anything to worry about outside. I never thought of that.

Not for everyone. You can walk around any neighborhood,  and for some people winter is the season all year around. People don't spend a lot if time in their yards it seems to me. I could be wrong. Maybe everyone is at the beach. I wouldn't know, cuz I never go there.

To each their own I guess. We still want to paint our house. We need mulch. Plants still have to be watered, and grass too.

If I were to place a scale in front of me, and enter in the formula the amount of time ideally I'd like to spend on each activity that makes up my day to day you know what I would enter? 

Nothing. It doesn't matter. I am cool with whatever makes up my day.  I always end it with some down time. I don't have any regrets. I don't have any failure, cuz it doesn't matter.

Some days I get a good amount done outside of work, and some days not. I hold no guilt or anything,  cuz the pressures of the World do not affect me much.

Big fucking deal. It's just life. There are no trophies for "Best in day to day activities"  actually there are no trophies you keep. Plaques, and stuff don't mean shit when the worms are eating your remains.

Life eventually just breaks people. Too much guilt in stuff. No one has enough energy for perfection. If you look at stuff online you'd think life is just perfect for all in their Instagram framed life.
I wouldn't know cuz I don't do Instagram,  but I assume it is a World filled with pics.

I'd like to see a pic of your thoughts. How life breaks you down. How you want everything to look perfect,  but it is far away.

At this stage I do know one thing. Life isn't perfect. Frustration is probably something inside you. You don't control your heart, and I know how you must be feeling now. I know you aren't feeling perfect,  because right now life has to look ugly, because you have to want something better than what you are now.

You have to want more of life than what makes it up now. You want to feel content, but it is far away.

You are a mess, cuz that is how it has to be now. You are powerless to make yourself your best life. You might not know it yet,  but you will eventually.

Eventually we all have to learn how very little we control things. In life, and in our thoughts. In everything.

Anyway.

I am out.

Later.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Gotta Try To Do This.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. I've been away a while. No reason really. I started to blog on Monday,  but it was dumb so I deleted. I slept in yesterday, even Saturday I slept too late. That is my sleep in day too.

No biggie. You aren't missing much not having my blog to read. Not much going on with me. I biked home yesterday in a cold rain. Like 60° cold. I know in November or March that is a warm rain, but not approaching July. Especially if we had the air on for a week. I wore long pajamas yesterday after work, and a long sleeve shirt.

I know that is just some pointless shit I am saying, but what do you think life is?  This isn't some remarkable thing we are doing living out our years. Truth be told you find yourself smack dab in your life, and you didn't ask for any if it. One day you came out crying, and the rest is history.

This blog kinda told you in the long run your life is not your own. It is one life out of a billion trillion gazillion. Happiness and contentment,  comes from a path not of your own making. Eventually all learn about this stuff, but it is important to learn it before you die. Hearts get pulled. Eventually all will look at their life and realize you did not matter one bit.

All have little short stories. All have family, and these stories are probably important to the few in your small circle.

I learned the full truth in the wilderness. I was out on my own,  and not one good thing was inside me. Little did I know I had to overcome the first time to get out of that area.

What I learned,  and knew all this time is I am not important. My life means little. Perhaps I had to relearn it a few times. The wilderness is brutal, but it does not lie. We are not important. Our time here means nothing. If you want a purpose you will be surprised. I cannot even explain.

Anyway life is kinda a trip. Especially when you know the truth, and none can accept it. If you cannot accept it then you have to somehow prove another truth, but there is none. You are in a dead end. Not one thing you can do to disprove a truth, except some musings of the foolish. There is nothing left.

How I am is pretty remarkable, cuz the wilderness has no power over my heart. I am too far along. 

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Cya.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Another Day Another Entry.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Knock another day off of the days that fill my life.

I was thinking yesterday. Someone said they would not want to live forever,  cuz why would you even get out of bed?  You can put off for tomorrow everything.

All things being equal if I were to live forever I would do exactly as I am now. I wouldn't change anything.

I wouldn't go out and try new bucket list things, cuz there is nothing in my bucket list. I would not go out and learn all the things,  cuz the learning I want is blocked. It is a gift I will get eventually, but it isn't in my power to grab it.

Everything out of life I already get. A content heart. That too was not in my power to have.

The things I wish for today is good tomato plants, and my other stuff. You know a day of labor,  hang out a bit, and a good meal followed by a good night sleep. Typically I get this most of the time.

As far as other people I know they lack stuff I currently have. A content heart is pretty sweet. A promise all for good is too. Living fully open has been a strength of mine forever. To be seen. To live in the light you have no idea. It is a spiritual thing. Something felt not seen. Invisible to the eyes, but definitely something you feel. Kinda like something sore like a pulled muscle or something. You don't see it, but you do feel it.

You do not have that,  because that is post eye of the needle stuff. You are still as you were born here. A human with whatever flaws. You were born not perfect,  and you didn't somehow achieve it. People grade on their own scale. X and y do this,  and I do this. You should try grading you with no scale. Take x and y out of your equation,  cuz that does not matter one bit as far as you are concerned. Now all that stands here is you. That's all.

I know how those grades come out for everyone. Maybe you should think about that. If I wasn't here doing this. If I didn't go my separate way to be singled out to learn these things you would never know.

You would just continue doing your life thing blind to the truth. Much as you are doing now.   :)

There are questions to life, and in the end you would do better to question stuff instead of relying on your flawed understanding.

I know this cuz understanding is what I wanted all along. I think really what I wanted was security, and I figured understanding would give me that. I knew the path to understanding, and I knew after I would be the best a person can be. What I learned is security comes before understanding.

You can see I walked pretty blind. My mind didn't know my route. There are no 5 and 10 year plans on my journey.

Anyway. I'll cya.

Have fun. 

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Time Marches On.

That was the title of a country song. Tracey Lawrence I think or something like that. Time does march on though. Day after day turns into year after year. I don't know people really. I mean at all really. A good portion of their life I assume people think they and their life are important. You are the center of your universe. No one is more important than you.

Anyway days go on non stop. Someday you will be old, and your days will be reaching their end.

Wanna know what I did yesterday?  I worked,  we ran some errands, stopped and had a few beers with Hawaii Brian. He lives in Holland again. I fertilized the front yard, and watered it. We ordered a pizza. There is something about finishing the day with a meal. That content feeling of being full. Then the food induced coma afterward. It mostly is the beer and food induced coma.  They work together beautifully.

A day, a good night sleep, and now another day. I already am thinking of stopping by the Mexican store on the way home to pick up stuff for steak fajitas. Already it seems like it will be a good day.

There will be work,  and weather. It will be warm. Outside of work I can do what I like without a care in the World. Luckily my heart doesn't yearn for weird things. You people and your farm animals. You people are gross. There are laws against that you know.

Anyway, just getting something down.

Today will be a day. Time will march on. I will do what I do.

Laterzzz.   :)

Monday, June 12, 2017

Monday Monday.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I had a typical weekend. I worked, and hung out. Didn't do much really. Watered my stuff. Looking around the neighborhood a lot of people have brown grass. Glad I am taking care of our front yard this year.

The people across the street from us bought their house with underground sprinkling. They don't use it. I never see them outside. They are on the large side, always no sun,  and their grass is brown. I don't think he wants to cut the grass. I sometimes wonder what they do couped up in their house.

In Michigan there is plenty of time to be in the house in the winter time. You kinda wonder what people do to occupy their time.

Not that I do any great things,  but I still wonder. I mean really there are no great things to be done. To each their own I guess.  What do people feel they get out of life compared to what they expect?  I assume disappointment a lot, cuz life does do that.

No matter what you sometime expected great things of your time here,  and you really won't find that. It is a big World,  and everywhere you look you'll see flaws. People are flawed,  dirt and grime are everywhere. Try cleaning just your house,  and keeping up with it.

Somehow we thought this thing would be magical, and it isn't. Violence, drugs, sex, alcohol, wars, murder, rape. You name it this World has it. Not only will life disappoint you, but you will disappoint others.

I think in everyone's anger is a hidden sadness. I come to the conclusion many will not get to that. Anger is consuming, and it takes much to get to the causes.

Anyway, life goes on. Today I'll have a day. It won't be much to it, but I'll look at things,  and think of things. I'll have a meal,  and do my watering. I like to look at my plants everyday. Pretty fun.  :)

I also have to finish my book.

Anyway. I'll cya.

Bye.  :)

Saturday, June 10, 2017

What The Heck.

Good morning. There is absolutely no reason for me to blog,  but I am up, and this is what I do. Yesterday went pretty okay. I thought I might be able to sneak out early yesterday, but the day filled up. Funny how that happens. I stopped for a couple beers after work with the guys, and got a ride home. I had tools and shit I picked up to fix the duct work for the coffee roaster. I wouldn't have been able to carry them home.

I watered the grass, and had sghetti for dinner. Then I slept. A pretty uneventful day really. I guess they all are. Today I  work,  water, and eat. I'll take Hope in a bit. I already had my coffee. I may have another.

All in all I feel pretty good. It is good to be me. Waking up how I do I wonder how others are. I am so long removed from how people normally are. I still was different during the dead years so that wasn't even the same.

It don't really matter. I don't know you, and you really have no idea about me. We are different. Neither of us are perfect. We have that in common.

Perfect is something that comes later. I guess you can strive for it if you want, but you will fail. It will help you see the truth. You ain't all that. I learned the truth the hard way. I learned it in the wilderness. I learned we are not much better off than the beasts of the field. If you think about it is true. What we eat. Sex is sex. Not exactly a glamorous thing people do. Having babies is pretty gross. We all toil in imperfection. A sword was made. It is used to judge. Prophets were all imperfect people save one as the story goes.

The story is a long one. No quick fixes on this route. Why?  I don't know. False teachers preach quick fixes as they dress in their garments.

I has no idea any of this.  I had no idea what I was getting into. For little old me to learn all this stuff is a pretty crazy story. For me to learn the whole World is wrong is pretty crazy.

I knew my story decades ago. I had to wait for the right time for my labors to begin again. A time not of my choosing, but I pretty much knew things were happening. Really I overcame the 2nd of 3 times, and the wait started right up. I looked at the bleakest possible future for myself. The judges told me that is your lot. I will be the antichrist, and I will have the worst end. With a strength not of my own I said I'll do it it is God's will. The judges control your heart too, so you believe everything they say. It was pretty soon after that I knew good was done. Pretty much the blessing I received prior to overcoming the first time took hold. Some 25 years later give or take.

So I am confident,  and assured.  People can do nothing to me. Now we are in a spot where nothing really is being done.  Just day after day. Eventually stuff will have to happen again, and I presume it will have to be your doing. My blog is the wait. I am just waiting for number 3 to happen. I will have to suffer much during that time, but I am not afraid. I have the courage of the one who went before me, because without help who knows what would have happened to me.

Left to my own devices who knows?  So I did my stuff. My story is decades in the making, and after all is said and done I can enjoy my days. As Solomon saw the pointlessness of life I do too. I am just able to enjoy my days,  cuz my heart is different than I would otherwise be.

So, today will be another day.

I'll cya.   :)

Friday, June 9, 2017

Since I Am Up.

Good morning. I feel if I can get up early I should try and do this. A lot of days I don't have much on my mind. Today is like that.

Yesterday was pretty normal. I was busy at work. I was tired when I got home. I did my watering routine. It is kinda relaxing.  Dinner got kinda screwy cuz Lisa had a funeral, and didn't get home til late. I would have gone with her, cuz I thought it was at 3:00, but it was at 2:00. I didn't plan for the 2:00 time. It was the wife of an uncle on the Dads side. I kinda felt bad for him, cuz he just lost 2 brothers recently,  and now his wife. It wasn't a surprise. She was sick.

Her ending was the thief's ending. She knew her days were coming to an end. I thought about that yesterday. I wonder what that was like.

What did she do as a kid?  She got married and had kids. It's what people do. I am not sure her schooling. Her first kiss, her first crush, her first heart break?  Who knows what she thought about? 

If I were to view my end as the thief's end now, I guess I am doing what I want. I watered my veggies yesterday. I did some labor, had,a meal, and slept good. My end there is no shoulda,  woulda, coulda, cuz in the end  I am doing what I am here to do.

My life is different now than the one I was born into.  A turn done decades ago brought me down a different path. It has been hidden for so long too. I told my story when it was time. It was no longer blocked in my heart.

Right at the beginning It was Lisa's Aunt from her dad's side who lost her husband. I was blogging then. My first of 3 blogs. At the visitation I remember people were talking about who had jobs, and I thought of the dead guy. A lot of people I saw there have now passed.

Anyway, my life goes on. I have no questions about my purpose. I don't look back at anything. I am strong too. Strong, content,  and secure.

I Blogged cuz I was up. Someday you'll be like that lady who passed. You will see your final days. Currently I know where you stand. I don't have any idea now how you go from point A to point B. My story currently stands in the failure zone,  and it wasn't my fault. It will not always remain so, but I have no idea how that works. We will see.

Many will fall away or already have. I am strong too, so it isn't a major concern. People have pretty much zero affect on who I am, and how I feel.

I feel pretty good too. I am glad I get to water my plants and my yard. A life well lived I guess you can say. No false truths float in my head. I was changed away from that. Few will make that little step.  You are still a slave to country,  religion,  society, or whatever. Worse off is you are still a slave to you.

In the end you still gotta give up you to find a better way. It is hard. Especially since you are older and more entrenched in your life.

Seems impossible huh?  Yep, that it is  

Anyway. I'll cya.

Laterzzz. 

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

If I Blogged About My Day To Day.

Good morning. There is nothing to see here. Just a guy and his blog. Just doing the day to day thing,  and putting here whatever enters my head.

Spoiler alert:  my day to day is pretty boring.

Yesterday for the highlight we got one of those tractor sprinklers. Somehow the tractor follows the path of your hose, and waters the whole lawn. We are lazy, and the idea of moving the sprinkler a few times every day will never happen. Now we just set up hose and tractor, and the lawn gets sprinkled.

It seems like rocket science how those things work,  but that little do hickie  has been around for decades. So 1960 rocket science probably.

Other than that not much. I slept all the way to my early alarm almost. A good night sleep. The day before I was up at midnight. Life is the best with a good night sleep. My veggies and garden got watered. I picked up another plant. Green zucchini. I have yellow and green. One of our grill favorites.

It looks like I will be working more hours on Saturdays. Fine with me,  cuz I dont really do much after work on Saturday. Just kinda wait for dinner.

My day to day seems pretty dumb, but my life is different than yours. You are as you have always been. You were once a kid who threw tantrums, and now you are more civilized. The imperfect you are still trapped in the same imperfect kid you once were. You have the ability to be more socially accepted,  but the fundamental version of you hasn't changed.

It basically means your heart cannot be content. A human heart yearns to chase after wind. My heart is much different. I am no longer the same kid who was shy, but still threw tantrums I am sure. I am not perfect,  but my heart has no use for wind. My heart stops me from even wanting to chase after it.

In that way I am cool with my day to day. I have no need for making a name for myself. No use matching myself vs. others to see how I stack up.

In the end we don't stack up against the World. That matters. Everything else doesn't. You cannot teach a creature of this World that however. Too much wind out there needs chasing.

Anyway.

Cya.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Starting Another Week.

Good morning. I am up early for no reason really. I just had another weekend. It was pretty uneventful. I worked,  did some stuff, watered my veggies,  and I think that is about it. Nothing too important happening in my life. Just living out these days. Someday it will all end, and my time here will be over.

You hope you grab everything out of life you can. It seems to me life is the promise of the upcoming day, and there will be a meal. There will be sleep too.

It seems something important should happen right?  Something significant?  Nope. You looked at the World, and there are a lot of bells and whistles. You figured in yourself there must be something special, something unique.

The bells and whistles don't mean anything, and that is where you place value in yourself. Based on the promise of bells and whistles.

In the end life is filled with your days. Your days have labor, meals,  and sleep. The key to enjoying life is dependent on your heart's happiness. Being content I guess in our little life. Truth plays a part. Accepting the truth of our little life. Not pretending it is grander than it really is.

Anyway, one thing about me is there is nothing special of me. I haven't suffered so much I deserve anything. My heart isn't so special I am better than others.  The same can be said of you.

I know my truth. Not sure if you know yours. Who knows? 

Today I'll have a day.  I will grab out of it what is available. Labor, a meal, and sleep. There isn't anything more available in a day. That is all she wrote.

I am cool with that,  and I don't need a trophy to live my little life.

Cya.  :)

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Even This Gets Boring.

Good morning. I am fine. I'd ask how you are doing, but I don't care.  :)  I haven't done this in a bit. Slept a little late,  or didn't feel like it. Not sure.

I can tell you something I thought about yesterday. After work I took Hope for a walk. I was looking at the nice houses on South Shore. Big decks, access to water, etc...  what do you do with that?   No one was on their deck. Is boating even that fun?  The best you can hope for is to have a couple beers with friends. Maybe you have a basketball court in your house. You still only need a modest place to live. A place to enjoy the outside,  or to watch a movie,  tv, or read. A place to sleep, and a place to make a meal.

If people are enslaved to bigger and better that kinda sucks. You can have just as much fun in a modest house, and less rooms to clean. I decided I hated the lives lived by the people on South Shore. You gotta make a lot of money for those houses, and that is a slavery issue. One never has enough money.

Anyway. I thought of that. I fertilized my veggies,  and watered my seeds. Had a meal. Now I'll have another cup of coffee,  and take Hope.

Should be a day today.

Cya.  :)

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Just Start I Guess.

Today,  I have no idea about a title, so I guess I'll just start. I pretty much have no idea what to blog about either,  but whatever. I have coffee, my morning. I have a day before me,  and not a care in the World really. It's pretty nice to wake up this way. Nothing really dragging me down.

I don't know how a typical person feels when they wake up. I don't know if life is a grind. Gotta do this and that. I know many, most,  all people get tied up in responsibilities. Gotta do this and that. Gotta be a certain way cuz it's expected. Have to act a certain way. Have to smile, and make nice.

Not all people. Some people are just angry. I don't know what makes a person like that. I don't really have to worry about people though. I have my life. I have my days. The morning is always filled with promise,  and I rarely live up to what I expect to accomplish each day. I also rarely give a shit. I live a life with a clean slate. All the burdens one accumulates in life have been wiped free.

As a person I haven't been perfect. I am strong enough,  probably the only one, who doesn't accept "good enough".  I traveled the path where I learned of me. I know the shortcomings we all face. I know this though. There is so much a person has to learn,  but that path is blocked save one way. You can read all the books, eat all the veggies, stay current in all current events yet the learning is still blocked.

We were born destined to think a lot higher of ourselves than we should. Me too. No doubt about it. I learned the truth. Learning the truth of me I I know the truth of you. Me knowing this doesn't help you any. I cannot do for me what eventually will be done. I cannot help you in what you must do. You are alone in this World although people are around. Your thoughts are yours. I wonder what percentage of these we hide? 

A Saint none of us are. There is no grading on a curve as far as these things go.  Life is a pass/fail class. Instead of living like you have the pass nailed,  maybe you should look at the truth. See why it is you are on the route of fail.

That would help you the most.

Anyway. Today is another day.

Guess I'll start mine.

Cya.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Back To Normal

Good morning. I thought about sleeping in today,  but as I thought about it, I wasn't tired. I just woke up having bizarre dreams. Not scary, just weird. I feel in high spirits today. I think I may be allergic to days off.  Yesterday I had a day off,  and I wasn't sure what to do.

I got the things I wanted to get done, done. As I looked around there is so much more that needs to get done, but I wasn't feeling it yesterday. Sometimes I am amazed at how much stuff we should really do. Just typical cleaning stuff, and minor repairs. There are only so many hours in the day.

Anyway. Enough of that. I think now that we are really close to June that Summer is here. Jackets will be a thing of the past. Shoes and socks will be the first things removed when we get home. Longer days I guess, but I still go to bed early. I may be staying up a little longer.

We have some stuff to do, but I also like looking around our yard. We spend some money every year on perennials so new stuff is always coming up. Even annuals do start to go crazy.

I guess I am a homebody these days. Maybe it's an age thing. A day of work. Some time doing whatever. A meal to end the day, and maybe reading or watching something on the TV.

I cannot imagine being 70, and wanting to be President. I think the orange hair guy is probably close to that. Talk about missing out on life. People in elevated positions are pretty whack too. They think they make a difference.

They may make some sort of difference, but rarely good in the long term. A house divided cannot stand, well the same with the World right? 

The World hides itself in robes, and suits,  makeup. Parades, and pageantry. It's all bull shit. This World is just one big lie. Covering it's ugly insides.

I don't have to worry about that though. The World is not my master. As a matter of fact I am the enemy of the World. It may know it, but currently it is powerless to do anything to me. The weapon of choice for such things currently is trapped within me. Unable to do anything at all.

Anyhoo. Just getting something down. I cannot imagine how people do 3 day weekends. I can't think of anything worse.   :)

You people are crazy. 

Gotta run. I may do another coffee. Gonna read my book too.

Cya.   :)