Friday, March 30, 2018

Well That Sucks.

I accidentally deleted today's update.

How annoying.

Laterzzz.   :)

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Back At It Again.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Another night of sleep is followed by another morning. I did take Hope for a short run yesterday. Nothing does get your heart rate up like a run. You feel pretty good after too.

We worked a pretty long day yesterday, and my quiche,  and raspberry strudel were a success. The lemon zest really gave the strudel a nice sour tang.

Having a long work day,  and cooking dinner meant there was little else done.  Tonight I have an easy meal planned, so as long as it doesn't rain I'll get outside.

Spring is such a busy time of year, but it is good to be busy. At least for me.  Nothing really major happened yesterday at all. I don't find life to be a grind at all.

I cannot imagine what people would do to fill their day if they didn't work.  It could be because I don't need a ton it sleep, so my days can be longer. There isn't much productive stuff you can do really. Owning a house I guess give you unlimited projects to work on.

I find myself being pretty okay by my lonesome,  and with people around. It doesn't really affect me either way. My day to day doesn't really change no matter what really. I typically feel pretty okay I guess. I do my own thing. I eat a meal at the end of my day,  and I sleep.

I don't know if the highlight of my day is the end or the beginning like now. I typically feel pretty great at the beginning, and pretty tired at the end. I also typically end the day with a pretty full belly.

I guess it's all good. I stay busy, and active. I work, and like to work.  I don't really lack for anything.

It is a good life being like this. I cannot imagine how I'd be if I went a different path way back when. It wouldn't be near as good as it is now.

Everyday is a clean slate kinda. No baggage behind,  and no worries ahead. I know others don't really feel like that, and it is all how you feel on the inside.

I guess you wanna wake up consistently feeling pretty okay,  and I guess I do. I definitely did not know my story as I was going along. I was in a hurry to finish it, and life now is so easy, I can wait. The security I yearned for I have.

I know you can't know what I mean about security,  cuz you've never faced the terror of life. That stuff is hidden, so not even available to you. I cannot really imagine what thoughts fill your head.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have fun.  :)

xoxo.  :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

The Hours Do Fill Up

So, I had a day yesterday. There was work involved, and there was cleaning in the kitchen involved. I did bring my work home with me in I made puff dough. There are a million things you can do with puff dough. I plan on making a quiche for dinner, and a raspberry strudel with lemon zest. I bought some frozen raspberries,  and raspberry preserves, plus I have lemons. Other than that not sure. I can easily make a turnover with scrap. Whatever, it just seemed like an easy way to make stuff for dinner, and stuff.

I slept good last night. I can tell when the energy is there. And I couldn't sleep more if I wanted. I am planning on running this morning too.

In my head I ponder all the things I need to do, and I need to make a list. There is a lot to do, and I cannot get it all done in one day. I should make a big list, and start marking things off. 

The guy came and tested our house for drafts, and our house has improved enough our gas company will send us a rebate check. I don't remember how much that will be for.  They didn't 100% seal off our big picture window, since they have to change out the middle window, so it will be better than what he just tested. I never even got a call he was coming which seems weird. It is good news though.

Other than that not much. Just doing the life thing. I'll be going to Chicago next week to clean up my Uncle's stuff. Get his town house on the market. We expect it to sell quickly. You have to be over 50, and cannot have kids to live there. Perfect for retirement,  and you don't have to do yard work. It is by Palatine, and Rolling Meadows, so there is plenty to do, and it is in a uniquely low traffic area. Basically located off a frontage road from highway 53. You don't find many places like that in that area, whereas West MI is full of those low traffic areas.  I live in one.

So yesterday was a day, and today is a day. Should be pretty okay I think.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

A Lot Done, But Not By Me.

So we got our house done yesterday. 3 teams came in, and hammered it out. They put in baffles, probably more than doubled our insulation, sealed ducts, spray foamed the eaves from inside,  and all the windows. (Windows we haven't replaced already)Our picture window was supposed to have 3 windows open at the top, but one opens at the bottom. They installed it for now,  and the other one is on order.  It was a lot of work,  but the 3 teams hammered it out.

Our house now is as good as a house can get not newly constructed. Energy efficient wise. That is pretty exciting.

I still don't like days off that much. It messes with my schedule. I am excited when I get a day off, and by the end not so much. Weird.

I slept crazy yesterday too. I slept good til midnight. Started thinking about things for a couple hours, and then fell back into a deep sleep. A sweat, and drool deep sleep.

That is about it though. Today is a day. It is never good to have a day off from the bakery. Especially since it wasn't really known we'd be off til Friday afternoon. We will be working from behind now. If you know the day off is coming you can work a bit ahead,  when it comes all of a sudden, you can't plan. They are remodeling the other bakery/restaurant, since we are all out I'd there. That's why the day off. Walls were going to be down.

I have a lot of yard work to do, and inside organizing. I don't know how houses get so disorganized. Basements anyways. Our tools are all over the place again. Life is about collecting useless shit, that's for sure. Geez, next week we will be clearing out the stuff my uncle collected for a lifetime. That shit gets donated,  or thrown away.

Anyway not much except my day to day today. I guess I'll finish my coffee. I'll probably drive, cuz I think it is still sprinkling.

Til next time.

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Monday, March 26, 2018

A Day Off For Me.

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. I have all of today off, so that's cool. I have a couple things to do after this, but not really much today. I listened to my book a lot yesterday, and have only 4 hours left. I don't remember when I read these first two books in the trilogy, but I did. I am pretty sure I didn't read the 3rd though.

It is early Monday morning, and I assume many people are dreading the start of the week. I don't always consider having a start and end to the week. No day is really a grind though, cuz I am out early afternoon on my days. Then I just have time to do whatever, and eat dinner. For some reason I just picture people having a Monday cloud.

I guess part of the problem is I know you don't stand in the best spot life has to offer. I can't imagine how you feel on the inside, but you are not in the best position possible. I guess you don't know it, and you figure you are as normal as anyone. Do you know there is more to life than what you experience now?  It is hidden stuff though. You can't work your way to this different spot. You cannot travel to it. You can't sit by an ocean,  and experience it. I guess the truth will lead you in the ways you should go, as long as you accept this life thing does not equal heaven on Earth. You are not a finished product as far as being the best a person can be, and you are pretty powerless to make that happen for you.

A human is pretty lost in this big old World. Born into a family,  society,  and Country,  and assuming something has to be worth something right?  This shit has to mean something right? 

What I found is your country means nothing. You are surrounded by imperfect people,  and nothing you will do can change it. Your heart is not content, cuz you cannot make it so. You didn't single out for yourself the best life ever.

Kinda crazy you lived this whole life assuming something had to be significant,  but life is a here today gone tomorrow kinda thing. How can anything be significant if none of this lasts? 

What matters in the long run in this place?  Trophies? Money?  Cars? Vacations? Big houses? 

I find what matters the most is having a content heart. It gives you a good disposition,  but those aren't ours to make.

I figure you will be pretty angry when you realize all your labor amounts to zero points. Life was supposed to break you, but you pretended you are in the middle of the good life. The truth will break you, and if you are unbreakable, then you cling to that which is false. Afraid to face the truth.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Saturday, March 24, 2018

A Big Weekend Planned Kinda

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I do have a pretty big weekend planned. We have to clean up our house, and get ready for the Monday construction. New windows,  insulation, baffles, duct sealing,  etc...  after that our house will be as good as it can get energy  wise. I plan on having our furnace guy put in central air later on, but that's about it. When he installed our furnace he made it so it would be easy to put in an AC. I could have had the city pay 10% of that too, but I didn't really care about that.

Yesterday was pretty okay. I was able to sneak out a little early from work,  and saw tomb raider. The Laura Croft movie when she was younger.

I had fast food for dinner too.  It was awesome.   :)

Other than that not much. I am up early enough to blog,  which isn't normally the case on Saturday. I slept good, and I stayed up late Thursday watching basketball, so I was tired.

There is something about my early morning blog. I spend my days filling up the hours, and this blog in the morning everything slows down kinda. I typically am not doing anything important during my days, and I don't feel I am thinking about anything important either,  but I like to put words down here a lot in the morning. I've really been doing it a long time come to think of it. I guess it's always felt like this. My mornings typically are pretty good. I am ready to start my days labor. The day fills up,  and there is a dinner at some point,  and then sleep. I start off the next day the same way.

I don't really know people too well at all. I suspect their lives are important to them,  and really our lives aren't. There is nothing significant to do under the sun. Even if you get 100 million followers on Instagram or whatever.

People can seem bigger than life I guess at times,  but we are just people. Breathing, eating, laughing,  and sleeping.

I think maybe people seek out a way to make a mark, but how?   For what?  In your final days your life will never be as good as you would have liked. You'll wish you were better. Maybe you'd have done things different.

There only is one way to live a content life,  and I found that way. Life pulls everyone at some point. For me I saw my life didn't matter. This World was dirty,  and where was a clean path? 

The turn involved overcoming myself at some point,  and also steps of obedience. Fear was my brother, and it led me in the right ways. Even during rough spots I was glad fear was in my heart, cuz there is a good promise with those with fear.

Fear I think is pretty impossible if you have no idea what's at stake. I feel most/all stand in that spot.

The truth of life kinda got shoved down my throat long ago.

You know though none of what I say here really helps you. We are in two different spots,  and I cannot bridge that gap. Life goes on for everyone, and I cannot imagine what it is like being you. What you feel like, hopes, disappointments, failures etc... 

In a World destined to make life hard, mine is easy.  I didn't make this so, it was all part of my tale.

I wake up everyday like this kinda. Another easy day of labor, eating, and sleeping.

I don't even do Instagram, so I don't even have 100 million followers either.  :)

Anyhoo, I gotta work.

Til next time.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Thursday, March 22, 2018

A New Start Kinda.

Not really, but I love waking up, I don't know, I guess I normally wake up like this. Yesterday was busy, but I had a pot roast in the slow cooker,  and I made homemade bread. The night before was Chicago Style dogs. Tonight will be tacos.

We labor so we can eat a good meal at the end of the day. Of all the things I think that is the highlight to our lives. The meal at the end of the day.

For me my conscience is always clear to my knowledge. I put in an honest days labor, so I can relax and enjoy myself.

Anyway, I have not had much to say here. It seems I try to write something,  and delete it cuz it's dumb. Part of the problem is there isn't much to my life. Work, eat, sleep. What am I going to write about? 

The hours definitely fill up in my day. I have a lot to do, and Summer approaches. We haven't even started doing yard work yet. I foresee a busy next several months. It's all good though. Yard work,  gardening, etc... 

I have no words of inspiration, cuz I am my own person. My best qualities don't necessarily come from me. I wake up feeling pretty okay most days. I definitely always have a spark. My candle is always lit so to say. That's not from me. I don't walk in darkness anymore, and I am far removed from that. I don't look for heroes, cuz I know they have no answers. I don't look to society,  cuz it is flawed. I don't look to older generations, cuz they aren't better. I don't look to younger generations,  cuz they aren't better.

The truth of the matter is we all are born destined to walk in darkness. Books don't take you out, and people won't show you the way. I guess in the end life pulled me. I listened. I looked at life objectively,  and I didn't like it. I made the turn, and that was how my story started.

The best part of my story is I am right. Not because I am smart, or great or anything like that. It is because I found the exact opposite to be the truth. I am not smart, or great, or special. I am anything,  but. We all are. It just so happens I found out how I can be turned into the best a person can be.

It's like that dream I had back during the wilderness days. There were a lot of bad fish. It was not my time. I don't know what made the fish not so bad now. Maybe it is just cuz I overcame the 2nd time, so nothing can touch me now. I have gone where no one can go. I am protected by 4 great swords, and no one wins against a sword.

Anyway, it is good to be me, and there really is no wisdom you can find in the World. There isn't much you'll find inside either.

Anyhoo,  at least I don't have to delete today.

Have fun.

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Monday, March 19, 2018

A Day In The Life.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. Nothing too crazy going on with me. Same as usual. I saw Red Sparrow after work yesterday. It was okay. I did laundry,  and dishes. I watched a bit of Basketball too. I didn't do a bracket this year, and I guess I am glad of that. I can't imagine what mine would look like. A lot of 1-3 seeds already out. I really don't do any fantasy sports anymore.

We are one week out from getting our new windows put in, and insulation and stuff. That will be quite a change. For the good for sure. Our temps look to have turned the corner. Always highs in the 40's it seems.

It's a good time of year I guess. I was thinking of people kinda. I figure some people sacrifice sleeping in to do a workout or something. Motivation would be to get that competitive edge. You are theoretically making a sacrifice few others will. That would be the motivation in my opinion.

I thought about myself, and what is my competition. The answer being there is none. I don't have to be better than anyone really. What reward am I shooting for?  What medal do I want?  Do I want respect from my peers?  I am not sure if I really am concerned about too much.

I do like working so I work. It is nice knowing I always have a steady stream of income coming in. You also feel like your being busy doing stuff. Not wasting any days.

This year will be different for me,  but I am not really sure how yet. I am older. And I don't think the same old will work anymore.

We'll see what the future holds I guess. It really is just a string of day after day. Nothing too important I am doing. Just living out my little life. I don't look over my shoulder at anything. In my life there were no wasted steps.

There is no coulda woulda shoulda.  I don't need the History books to say anything about me, and they won't. I am not too concerned with what others think either. I am strong, and content, and I live under no illusions of what life is "supposed" to be like. I don't have to be better than others either, cuz they have absolutely no say in who I am.

I have no group I need to be accepted by either. It is me on my own. The direction of any multitude does not sway me.

I just do my thing, cuz my way is sure. I am confident,  cuz I've made the right choices.

Me being like this makes me realize I know your struggles not at all.

Anyhoo, I gotta go.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Thursday, March 15, 2018

That Cup Of Coffee Went Down Good.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I slept pretty good last night. I am a little tired, but not too bad.

Nothing crazy going on with me. Yesterday when I woke up I wanted to make a to do list. After work I was going do this and this,  and this. I was tired after work. I took Hope for a walk,  and my fit bit said I walked 12 miles today. I've noticed I walk just a little bit more at the new place. So basically just by living I will almost always walk 10 miles each day.

To me that is normal. I think I may have always done that. I've never had a sit down job. I wonder if a sit down job is a weight gaining lifestyle.

I never weigh myself, but I figure I am at a good weight for me.  A fast running weight actually. I haven't run since I got sick way back when, and when my gut ached.

My normal daily activity has me burning around 3500 calories each day. I doubt I consume that much, but I don't think I am wasting away or anything.

10 years ago I bet I could eat way more than I do now. I don't know why that happened really. I wonder if you get older you just don't eat as much.

Many times if I go out to eat I cannot eat the whole meal placed before me. These are things I just noticed throughout the years.

I got a text from a friend yesterday to meet up for happy hour. I had 3 beers, and I was good. Would I have drunk more in the olden days?  Not sure.

Life goes on. We are like an innocent bystander looking at what our bodies lead us too. Drink, food,  sloth, drugs, etc...

We know this too, so we may discipline ourselves to such and such activity. People diet with cheat days, go to the gym run, bike, eat clean whatever.

If you followed your heart to what it wanted where would you end up?  I know a lot of you would end up in a barn brothel with your favorite type animals for such stuff. You gross fuckers.  How about the rest of you? 

The desires of the human heart are kinda whack huh?  We know what's right,  but we sure aren't.

There are unwritten rules about stuff, and we surely fall short. A lifetime is a time of hiding how fucked up we really are. We show what we perceive our good side to be, but suppress everything that seems unacceptable. Truly our weirdness makes us afraid of the light. We remain in the darkness. Keep our weirdness hidden, and pretend it isn't there.

In the end you have to face the light. Let everything be seen. Something that seems so simple you need help with though,  cuz none of us is perfect,  and none of us can be. For a long time the light has been my strength. Me being mostly spirit since forever has me being seen since forever.

I cannot take you through the eye of the needle. I couldn't take me either. So, I am of little help. I can just kinda explain how things are on this side.

Anyhoo,  I gotta go.

Have fun

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.  :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

The Normal Garb Of A Merchant Marine.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I got another good night sleep.  I have to check the weather. The last two days were colder than I expected. I think basically cuz of the wind. It was supposed to have a pretty good warm up this weekend, and now I think it will not be as warm.

So I finished my 36 hour book. I definitely read it before. I also read the 2nd book, which will take me 30 hours. I just don't remember when. I don't ever recall reading this author. Go figure.

I am busy at work this week, but I think everything will be pretty normal'ish next week. A lot of stuff takes time. A delivery comes in you have to help,  and organize. A cake place person stopped by, because we got some vanilla delivered on accident I guess. You try and sort that out, especially since we took one vanilla to the other location already.  :)

A guy works on a couple machines,  a sign guy comes in, plumbers check the heat of the sink,  and where in the Hell is the can opener?  On top of that you got work to do.

Luckily the business is an established one, so it won't take long to get a pattern,  and a type of normalcy.

Other than that our kitchen tile got grouted, so we have to sponge that a few more  times to get the film off. We still have to grout the bottom part too with maybe a small brush or something. It will be nice to get our kitchen back to regular.

So basically a day was had. The hours filled up like they always do. Another day of my life done.

These days I find it remarkabke that people think it's major news when someone dies. Ummm, there was never going to be a different ending for that person. The truth of the matter is no one even knows that person. You see what he did on the surface,  but you have no idea what happens on the inside. That is pretty much how we all are.

I know my inside, and I know the inside of all humans I guess. I know what makes us weak, and I know the source of what overpowers you,  so you cannot be all you'd like. That I know this puts me in pretty exclusive company.  It was my days in the wilderness where I learned all my shortcomings,  and in so doing learned others.

I don't think that necessarily does you any good. A physicist died. His ending was never going to be different. All his outwardly accomplishments amount to zero points. In the end it doesn't matter.

We are born in this World,  and we try and show we are strong, and great, and whatever,  but the path is where you learn how insignificant you are. How much we don't matter.

I cannot help you with that at all. It takes a lot for a person born of this World to overcome themselves, and go a different route. That is one thing I learned from my years doing this.

Anyway, I gotta go.

Cya.   :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.   :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Western Hemisphere Has Jury Duty Next Week

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I feel I got a good sleep last night. I slept in yesterday. I rushed to get ready for work yesterday, cuz that one mile commute had me worried for time.  ;)

The first few days of the work transition are a little crazy, just cuz covering a vaca too,  and the other daytime guy switched to nights. I have help if I need it, but we are still filling up one place for a couple more weeks.

This is a pretty good time of year. Spring Is on the way. One thing about our windows is our big picture window in the front does not open. Our new one will. Also we have some shitty ones in a couple more rooms. We've replaced some windows,  and now the rest will be replaced. That is exciting to me.

Other than that not much. One thing I noticed is I don't really do social networking too much. I thought about that yesterday. The reason is I don't feel I have anything important to say. My day to day goes on, and nothing remarkable is going on. I don't have anything important to say. I only do FB and Twitter. I don't follow many people on Twitter, and not many follow me. That is as it should be.

I probably have around 200 friends on FB is my guess, and whatever.

I guess the most you will get out of me is what I put here. Unfortunately not everything will seem all peaches and cream here. My heart is in the wilderness,  and that is a tough area. Not tough for me anymore, cuz my heart is cool with my lot in life.

When Solomon saw his end he saw how worthless his life was. Like the thief on the cross. I guess I see it too, and I am cool with it. Being secure, and assured is a good feeling. I am in a different spot than you. I still kinda have a comic book version understanding of things I guess. True understanding is the real deal. I know where one must go to get it, but none can make it on their own. We dont hold the keys.

That is my story too. I've known for decades what I must do, but I surely did not know the way.

The night I received my energy back I knew where I stood. I had more work to do, but the labor was nowhere near. Nothing I could do to make my labor be closer or make it happen.

The dead years stopped once the running blogs happened. How far I've come since then. As a matter of fact the running blogs don't even blog anymore. 

We all just got older. I am a guy, so I continue to get more and more distinguished though.  :)

Oh well. I better get going. I have a big commute today.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Some New Things.

So I picked up my new bike on Friday. I walked to work, just so I could ride it home. It is faster than my fat tire bike I've been riding exclusively for over a year. It will come in handy too, since my commute will be like 1 mile each way on Monday. I still cannot fathom that. That will be pretty sweet. I have no idea how work will change. It is a brand new place. Clean, with a lot of space. The big question is how Summer goes with two places open. We will just plug along, and see how it goes. No way to really predict things.

That is the new things. Not much else besides that. I'll be able to listen to my book at work next week. I have around 10 hours left of my 36 hour book, and a 30 hour book after that. It is part of a trilogy. I read the first one some time ago. The title of the 2nd one has me wondering if I read that one too. Those two books I got free from the library. I have other things on Audible to listen to, and a credit for a free book I have yet to use.

There are movies out I want to see, and Spring  quickly approaches.  I guess it is a good time of year. All our laundry is done,  and dishes are clean.

Not really much to worry about. In just over 2 weeks all the windows in my house will have been replaced. Comfortable living I'd guess you would call it.

Other people I don't really know. We all just plug along, and do our thing. There isn't really anything epic about our lives. If you think about famous people in History, I say fuck them. I don't give a shit. They are dead.  I don't even give a shit about the living.   :)

I am secure in my less than perfect heart, because I can be. For me to be the best a person can be is not in my power,  although that is my path. Not being the best a person can be is something all have in common. Me knowing that truth is probably a difference between you and I. If for some reason you can quit all your vices, labor to 200% of your ability,  and only do productive things while not sleeping, you still cannot make your heart perfect.

The difference between you and I is i know that matters. You live in the World of good enough. You believe a lie.

When it came time to make life's choices I seeked, and found the truth. It was different than I expected. I guess what helped me the most is my realization I was NOT all that.

I definitely wanted to be better than I was. I was NOT good enough. You settle,  and I went further. Settling is easy I guess, but the truth does matter, so it doesn't help you.

Anyway, I guess that's good. 

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Thursday, March 8, 2018

The Days Keep Coming.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty okay day. I don't know what the difference between corned beef, and brisket is, but I put a corned beef (I thought brisket) (I also thought they were the same) in the slow cooker, and made reubens for dinner. After work I went and saw Death Wish. That is one of the great things about my life. When I am done with work,  I can go see a movie.

If people like alone time, I got nothing but. My pain I've been dealing with is almost all gone. That is nice. Also our kitchen is almost done. All appliances are in. New dishwasher is awesome. Our stove is too for that matter. I asked the guy what is different from those $3000 stoves,  compared to the $1000 model I bought. I didn't see any major bells and whistles, and it turns out there isn't much.   I think some people have too much money, so they have to buy the $3000 model.

My 4 mile commute each way ends tomorrow. It will soon be a 1 mile commute each way. Monday actually. I think I may stop by the bike shop today, and get a new Summer bike. I won't make it that way often,  and that is my bike  shop of choice. I'll buy a nice one, but just for cruising. I won't buy anything I need to wear bike cleats or whatever. I am happy to pedal with my gym shoes.

I'd say our Winter is approaching its end. I got my February heating bill. It was $66. I did not spend over $100 any month this Winter. In 2-1/2 weeks my house will be sealed real nice. Heating will not be terribly expensive.

I spose everything looks pretty good on my end. I am going to Chicago to spend a week getting my Uncle's town house ready to put on the market. I guess we will pretty soon have everything liquidated, which means another good chunk of money coming my way. The majority actually. With that chunk I'll pay off my house, and then we will plan I guess. For bills we will have utilities, and food,  insurance and whatnot.

Basically we will just sock away cash. We may travel to a city once/ year perhaps,  but I am happy in my own bed, and happy in my own head. I think that's what we all shoot for. To be content at the end of the day.

That I guess is a difference between you and I. There is no grand thing I shoot for in the future. I am fine with work,  eat, and sleep. We did come into some money, but outside of upgrading some things I can't say I am any different. We dont eat out much more than in the past. I still work 3 jobs, cuz I enjoy them.

All 3 of my jobs I didn't need a college degree to do, and maybe 2 of them I could have done while in HS.

After College I seeked out a purpose. Looking at my life from the exterior, I really didn't graduate to any great career or anything did I?  I didnt really make the World any better. I didn't help make peace on Earth or anything. My whole purpose was hidden. My story was hidden from all eyes, except the one who made it. In the end it was all way worth it. I haven't even received yet what I wanted so long ago. Of course I thought I needed that for security,  and happiness. My eyesight never could see as far into my future, as the maker of my story.

When all things are possible,  one can make any number of assumptions.  One can play the fool one might say. My story is believing,  being obedient, and never doubting in my story I had more to do. This story is approaching 30 years in the making.

Prior to overcoming the 2nd time there sure was much fear everyday. Things you cannot know of as you are. I sometimes don't even think about that difference between you and I.

All I can say is I know my path,  and I know where this is leading. You? I have no idea.

A lot of things I don't know, but I am not the maker of this story. Just a vessel to be used in making it. Not special in anyway at all. I don't need the World to know my name either. The World is not my master so to speak.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Geesh, I Guess Another Week

So, I've been quiet this week. I've been battling a thing I guess. I've had it once before. I self diagnosed it this time, once I decided to look. I got a blockage in my intestine. It creates a bump. It doesn't really hurt, but it presses on a nerve. The bump on my stomach presses a nerve in my back. It hurts quite a bit at times. I've been taking my prescription I had last time. Also, I think I'll buy sauerkraut too, and eat some everyday. One thing I like it, and two, I think it would be helpful for that type of problem. Not really sure what causes it. Having that pain has me wanting to do less than normal.

You never really realize how much you take Health for granted. Just thinking about it, can you imagine people with chronic pain?  That would definitely take the spice out of life.

On Friday I binge watched the rest of the killing on Netflix. I enjoyed it. It's hard for me to get through 4 seasons of anything. I watched the first two like a year or two ago. I enjoyed it.

Yesterday I worked. I listened to a lot of my book. I still have 25 hours left I think. I stayed up late watching Netflix,  so I dozed,  and listened when I got home. I caught the last couple minutes of the MI basketball game. It looks like they may be able to make another run in the tourney. Their coach has them playing good this time of year.

Today, after work,  I am going to take out our dishwasher, and level, and attach the countertop. Well get our new dishwasher installed this week sometime. It is March too, so a few weeks we will get our new windows,  and all the insulation,  and attic work they will be doing.

Before long, I'll have to start cleaning up the yard. Garden time will be here before you know it. So will grass watering and stuff. It will be a busy Summer. Also we are not really sure how the main job will be. It's always busier in the Summer with one location. We'll have two.

Not much going on besides that. It's funny last weekend I was amazed at how much time I thought I had. Spring, Summer,  and Fall pretty much close that up right away.

It is true though, once we get our kitchen done, there isn't much inside work to do. Just some painting and stuff, but people always have that. It will be easy to keep everything clean too.

I guess that's it. Obviously not a lot going on with me. I know a lot of people barely blog anymore. I saw some whispering you randomly see sometimes on social networking where people miss doing it whatever. It is therapeutic and stuff.

For me, I just do it. Maybe it's dumb,  and maybe it's boring, but I do this you know?  A lot of times it's just part of my daily routine if I get up early enough.

Anyway, I'll cya later. 

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Bye.    :)

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Play It By Ear I Guess.

It's going to rain today, but it will be done by the time I get off work. Will it start before work,  that is the question. That's about the time it is supposed to.

Yesterday was strange kinda, cuz I took a nap.  One of those days you don't know you are tired really, until you get home. I sat on the couch, listened to my book and dozed. I had some things I wanted to do, but if you are tired you are tired.

The book I am listening to now, I either read before, or, no I must have read it. Not sure when. My memory of it makes me think it was years ago. I am not sure why. I don't recall reading that author before. Maybe it's a book I bought at an airport to read on a trip. I am guessing that's it. I used to read a lot when I visited Hawaii, so maybe it was one of those times.

Anyway, it's part of a series so. 32 fucking hours though.  Sheesh. I'll have to listen to some everyday. I only get these books for 2 weeks.

Other than that yesterday was uneventful. Work, eat, sleep. I am not sure what is in store today. Not much is my guess. Just day after piled up day. I think I am tired this week. You can tell, cuz sometimes the internal sunshine isn't as bright as other times. Maybe we just got a lot done in a short time, so I need to recharge. Who knows?

What is a purpose to a blog?  Just day after day after day. For me I just kinda do it. It's in me to do it. If people read or not is no concern of me. I suspect what's in here is for other people,  if they choose to pay attention or not is up to them.

I've done this a long while, and I don't really know if it accomplishes anything. Like I said a million times before my heart is in the wilderness. No one's life is really that exciting to me.  No one has some great personality that puts them up above any other. No one has labored so hard their hearts are a notch better than another.

You are in this World with other people. Living out your days as others do. Tied to the whims of yourself, and the direction society and family have led you.

Many/all thought you are supposed to get married,  have kids, get a career, and yadda yadda yadda. You have to work, you have to live, pay bills, and stuff. I think the area of question is do you get points for that? 

The answer is no. The answers to life  do not come from how it's always been, society,  family and what not. In all the years I've done this I cannot say even one person has gotten any better at just being a person. Time goes on and on. Lives go on and on, and you remain today as you were before. Maybe even worse as far as you can see, cuz if you have the mirror you surely see you better and clearer. I  know what the mirror shows. It isn't the fairest in all the land, cuz there is no such thing. Just another form,  totally imperfect. Not better than any other. One day you'll die,  and all your efforts did not make you a Saint.

That matters,  because what you cannot see, and what you don't know is what is possible, so all along you've been grading on the curve.

The truth just grades straight up. For those with  courage who want to look where they stand. Your heart will lead you to the truth. It won't be pretty though, cuz your heart is whack. It is filled with all kindsa things you don't want there. Surrounded by a lot of rotten snakes who overpower it. Why else would you have the thoughts that pop up you don't want? 

Anyways, I guess that's good.

Didn't even think I was going to write anything. Knowing the truth about people ain't no joke is it? 

No kidding.

Anyway, I'll cya later. 

Bye.   :)