The Week

So, we are finishing up another week. My day to day life doesn't change all too much really. This week my Dad went into the hospital. He left yesterday,  and he seemed in good spirits. I talked to him on the phone everyday this week,  and I think I should do that more.

I kinda go along in my life not really thinking of others too much. I think when I was with my Dad in Chicago I think I felt he should think of other things than he does. Who gives a fuck about the exercise bike?  His life had some missteps,  but he came up in a different age. A farm boy from Iowa. How the fuck he ever thought to go College,  and graduate I have no idea.  He at times made good money, but I think he fell into a trap where he always didn't like working.   He was a sales rep at times for various firms, and I bet he fudged his reports. He was at home a lot I remember.  Then he used to do that paper route too for extra income. I wonder why that was. Maybe cuz he was up by 3:00 AM 365 days/ year so why not? 

He dabbled in real estate, and who knows what else. He falls for every fad that comes along. No stranger to get rich quick, or self help fiction books, tapes and what not. I guess an Iowa boy who now is a product of the Chicago suburbs. When I visited a couple weeks ago I noticed very few houses had ridge vent on their roofs,  so very few houses have had their roofs redone recently. I thought that pretty strange, cuz in West Michigan everyone redoes their roof.

Palatine was a sprawling Suburb that is aging. They have the same Jewel grocery store that hasn't changed in years. Their produce section is better than I've seen around here though.

Anyway the old man is fine,  and he's outlived most of the people in his life. Can't say he's shed a tear about any of it.

Now that I think of it he put a new roof on our house when we were growing up. He also built a professional grade shed with my Grandpa. We used to sleep in the rafters when we would sleep out there in the Summer.

He does fall guilty though seeking honor somewhere where there isn't. There is none in life. If we don't die young we die when we are old. None of our existence is really significant. It's just a thing we were thrown into. Anyway, I think I'll give my Dad a call everyday. No harm in talking a few minutes.

My life goes on. It is Spring, so I have a million plans. I've been getting little things done after work everyday so far. I think we will get a lot done this Summer. We are getting a quote soon for a new driveway. This Sunday I start working every Sunday evening, and will have every Monday off. That should be fun. A Day Off every week too.

Anyway, just getting shit down. It's what I do if I don't  sleep in.

I'll cya. 

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Sleep Matters.

This morning I feel well rested. I woke up early, and knew I felt good. I feel I am a naturally pretty good sleeper. It matters, and we spend so much time doing it it must be important.

I talked to my Dad yesterday. He is doing good. He called me after an afternoon nap, and said he doesn't think he ever slept so good. He also was surprised how good he felt because of it.

I try to get a picture of him in my mind. Like what he thinks and stuff. He's outlived most his friends I bet. I don't really know if he is a person people ever got close to. He's probably selfish a bit, but I couldn't help feel he is now alone in the World. I asked him before to come live with us just to make it easier on him, but he wants to stay in Chicago. He doesn't really approve of Lisa's brother either. A pot smoking gamer.

Lisa's brother never ate a fruit or vegetable to my knowledge. He drinks 2-3 2-litres of pop each day, and his health at like 40 is shit. He hasn't worked a full week without coming home sick in forever.

So anyway life at our end is very much different than our care free days of youth, although we weren't really care free back then either.

Yesterday was just another day. To my knowledge I broke my last pair of flip flops last year, so I bought two pairs yesterday. Kohls is by Lisa's work,  so we went out to dinner. It was okay. Just a day you know? What I am most excited about is feeling recharged completely from maybe being a bit tired to start the week, or maybe even a bit under the weather. Not sure.

My brother John liquidated a pretty significant asset. House paying off size plus sized asset times 2. I will be basically living for free. No rent, no mortgage, just insurance,  utilities,  and property taxes. Who lives like that after High School?  That is pretty awesome, but I currently fill my days the way I want. I like my jobs, and I like working.  Talking to my Dad yesterday makes me realize one of the keys to my success is I am a good sleeper normally.  I rarely sleep 8 hours, but 6 or 7 is pretty normal. It's usually pretty good sleep too.  I don't wake up to pee at night, and I am not a light sleeper. I'd be a bad watch dog.

Anyway today is starting off pretty good.   I have time to get a good run in, and it will be another day.

The important lesson of today is sleep. It's pretty important.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.  :)

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Byeeee.    :)

70° Works.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I feel like I got a good night sleep last night. I needed a little catch up I think. Not too much, cuz I don't feel I got tired yesterday, but maybe just a little.   We got most of the back yard done, and I guess I am ready to start growing grass in the areas that need it.

I talked to my dad a couple times yesterday, and he was scared a bit, but the docs aren't really worried. A person coming to grips with their own mortality I can work with. A person trying to single themself out as special,  unique,  or other such stuff I have no use for. We are one of the trillions who walked this place. And we will not beat our own mortality. Everyone thinks they know what the end will be like, but you don't. There is a part of us that just turns to dust, ashes, and bone, and eventually oil maybe. The other part we don't really know. I can guarantee for you it is not what you think.

I think about myself, and I am kinda cold and heartless in a way. A person internally with little to no worth. Yep, that's me. In the wilderness we find we aren't all that. All our plans are plans, and we don't really make this place any better.   I suspect we try to show we are special somehow, but we aren't.

I guess the World teaches us we are supposed to be caring,  and compassionate, and other stuff, but a true look inside our hearts shows us we are lacking in all areas. That is kinda what I mean.  To be the best a person can be is a good goal, but it is out of our reach. There are no "better personality" calisthenics you can do to improve yourself on the inside.   All you can do is fake it, but that is nowhere near the truth.

I guess we live out our lives, until such a time as we see our mortality. Hopefully we see Sainthood is nowhere near us, and we seek out the ways to correct that long before we leave this place. The World will have you just keeping on doing your stuff. Kidding everyone as to your own greatness. 

I don't know, inside me I see the wilderness. I see me as no great thing at all. In that way I see you too. The difference is I know this about us. 

So I guess I'll take Hope.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Kinda A Screwy Weekend.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. My sleep was sorta whack this weekend. I stayed up late Friday, just thinking of shit. Mostly about later this week or early next week my house will be paid off. That is pretty fucked up.

You want to rest up on the weekend, on Saturdays I work at 5:00 AM instead of 6:00 during the week. On Sunday I went in at 4:00 AM, cuz they wanted everything done early for a special promotion.

My sleep wasn't as good as normal. Mostly my fault. I did remodel our pantry. A guy before us built his own. It was dumb, so we gutted it, and put in wire rack shelving. It is much better. Instead of spending $400 or whatever for a new one we just gutted it, and built a better one.

So that was the weekend basically. Nothing much about it. I don't really think my weekends change too much, except by what I do while not working. Lisa finished the front yard, and today we will tackle the back. It shouldn't take too long.   I think it might hit 70° today.

There isn't much on my mind, and there isn't much going on in my life.  I don't really know what goes on in other people's lives. I guess we just put in our time.

My dad went in with chest pain, and I guess it was blood clots. I wonder if everyone ends up like him. You look back on your life, and seek out something important about it. Something significant. That is the strangest thing of all. It was just a stupid life like all ours are. No one is significant,  and no one is doing anything significant. He wanted me to bring this stupid exercise bike to his place while I was in Chicago a bit ago. He thought It was worth good money. It wasn't worth shit, but he thought it was worth $600, cuz that's what he paid for it probably back in 1980. I was kinda annoyed. I wanted him to let me throw it in the dumpster. At this stage I was sick of cleaning up hoarded shit, knowing I was going to throw that out sooner rather than later anyway.

His seeking of something significant in this place seemed the most ridiculous thing ever. We toil and we struggle living out our silly lives filled with silly things, and then we die.

It's just strange I tell you. Anyway, today I'll have a day. I think it should be okay. I'll eat a good meal at the end, and do some labor before that.

This is what I do. 

Later.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

The Trails Of Nederhuisen

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I had a pretty active day yesterday just by living. Not doing anything out of the norm.   I am glad about that being part of my life.

There were some hickups to us getting our front picture window completed. The first scheduled day the guy was sick. Yesterday the guy got here, and realized it is a little bigger job than what he was led to believe. So he is coming back out today with everything he needs to finish the job. Including enough time. I cannot wait to be able to open those 3 awning windows when it gets warmer. Pretty exciting.

In just a couple weeks probably my house will be paid for.  That will be a lot of extra money coming my way each year. I don't really have anything to spend it on either. That is just how I am though. If I was given the choice to do whatever I wanted this is it. I am happy and content doing what I do.

I work,  I am active. I typically eat a pretty good meal each night, and I normally sleep pretty well. I find if I don't sleep too great one night I still feel fine the next day. I have everything I could want I guess,  and maybe that has to do with I just don't want a lot. Maybe that is the best part of being how I am now. I am content.

Just today a new day has started, and I am excited about it. It is a normal type day too where I am up 3 hours before I need to be at work. I feel I've done that a good amount of years where that is just my norm.

Some of you may have been around where I used to have to rush if I was going to get to work 15 minutes after the 2-1/2 hours early I'd like to be.   Haha.  :)

Remember that one time I woke up thinking I am up at my regular time. I do my blog thing and stuff, and realize geez "The Tonight Show" is probably on right now. Oops.

Anyway I am 51 now. You never know how many years you have left,  but I feel pretty good. I'll take Hope again. Yesterday I went over 30,000 steps. I typically have 10,000 steps in before 8:30 AM. That is my norm though.

Anyway, I pretty much got nothing. Today will be a day, and I am looking forward to it.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

The Northwoods Project.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I had another day yesterday. I did notice something the last two days. When I sleep in,  I am not as tired after work. I think anyway.  It could just be the day too.   Today I woke up a little tired, but I still mostly would like to get up early. More often than not I'd like to take Hope for an early morning run.

I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting yesterday. I came home and chilled out. I think it is our last snow day yesterday. Everything else approaches 50° as a high. I definitely am ready for Spring. I got outside shit to do. Winter weather kinda makes you want to stay inside.

So really this is a delete update,  cuz I pretty much got nothing.

What do I want out of today?  I want a run, and 20,000 steps/10+ miles. I am not sure what to do for dinner. Lisa is going out, so maybe I'll make myself a pizza. That's always fun, and good. On any given day I just want to feel good I guess. I guess I do that.

There was a time where I had a lot of energy. I could feel it. I didn't need much sleep,  and I was rarely tired. You don't know you have it til it is taken away. I had that too way back when. The night the energy returned I was VERY glad. I know that is a part of me that makes me as I am. I know it is nothing special about me, but rather something I was given.

I could have used it to do the best things in the World to do. That is the problem though. There is nothing in the World to do. In the end we won't make this place any better. All avenues are vanity so to speak. You still want to make a good mark somehow,  but that is not your story to make. No one is wise enough to be able to do that.  It's kinda what do you want?  Your story you make even though you are unknowingly shortsighted, or do  you want a better one. You can't have both.

I suspect I know people's answer, cuz everyone still does their own thing.  I am of no help in your personal journey at all. In these matters there is just you too. You need trust cuz all lives are tangled, and you need to know that is known. Your predicament is known. Everything can be seen, but you can't feel it, cuz all vision is blocked til you go though the eye of the needle. That you cannot do without a quid pro quo.

So as we all sit your story still hasn't even started,  and it might not. You choose the World,  cuz it's all you know,  and it's all you trust. I don't think this stuff is easy. I did this walk decades ago, and a lot of the parts, or all really I had no vision to. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted something out of life, and in the end there really isn't anything,  but I had to walk my trail. The one I didn't set, because that was my reason  for being here.

You see too?  I in the end was not very important. My coin was not significant, but my story helped make it worth more than whatever I would have done. It's a good story too,  because I am not anything great or important. It's good to know one's  place in the grand scheme of things.

I guess that's good. Today is a day. It will be better by starting it with a run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Same Thing, Another Day.

Yesterday was pretty much just another day in the life. I slept as late as I could, cuz I stayed up a little late. I did the work thing. My watch told me I walked 10+miles just cuz that is how my life shapes up. I did a couple things around the house,  and made dinner.

It was nothing special at all, but I think it was pretty perfect. Couple that with a good night sleep,  and I am ready to do it again.

I put my name in to work every Sunday night, so it looks like that may happen pretty soon. That would give me every Monday off, and Lisa has most Mondays off.

I think about the future I guess, and I have nothing to worry about. I am lucky to be me.  I think growing up you want to have fun. You don't really want to be bothered with stress. You want to be at ease with life in general,  and with yourself. I think you want to feel consistent too. Excited to wake up every day, and start another.

That is why I am lucky. Yesterday after work I was taking Hope for a walk. I knew my watch was going to break the 20,000 step mark like it does most days, and I felt pretty lucky for my easy life. I had dinner already planned,  and the few things on my list I wanted to get done.

Everything was easy. Also you finish the day with a good meal, and an early bedtime. I get go do it again today too. Dinner is already prepped for the slow cooker.

I don't really have anything major planned today, except to live out another day in this simple life. My days come, and my days go, and each day gets filled up. There is work, there is eat, and there is sleep. There also are plans for various projects we'd like to tackle.

I know what makes all this possible. It is my heart. My heart is mostly happy,  and mostly content. I know the secret to that too. Unfortunately you cannot walk in my shoes,  unless you get a glimpse through what I do here. Not sure.

Anyway, I think I'll take Hope. A good short run is always a good way to start a day.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.   :)

So I Tried Something New.

So, I have a serious addiction to things sour, and I love tomato/vegetable juice. I just made a smoothie with tomatoes,  celery,  sauerkraut, carrots, pickles,  and I think something else. It is pretty good.  I could make something like that every day I bet. I'd enjoy it, and it has to be good for you.

I know I know, people have been probably doing that shit for years, but I just now put 2+2 together as far as that goes.

I love lemons,  and limes, and all kindsa fruits too. There is a ninja in the house, so I thought I'd use it.

Anyway, yesterday was pretty normal, except I worked a very short day. People were working in the main room where most of my hours come from,  so there wasn't much to do.

I made a new meal I got from my recipe book, and home made biscuits. A simple day. I didn't use my watch yesterday, but I know I was nowhere near my usual 10+miles of walking. A short day of work will do that.

Other than that not much. Oh I finished my trilogy. 100 hours of book listening. I did think of my life,  and my past. I had a whole past,  and I don't really care too much about it. A life was led,  and it pretty much means nothing. I have not done anything too terribly important,  and I don't think there really is anything too terribly important to do.

I thought about what does my life mean?  What kind of mark do I leave?  You know what?  In the end I leave a good mark somehow. Just the promise all for good makes it so.

That promise leads me tied to nothing. It makes me free, because it leaves me free to be. All I do is work,  eat, sleep. Live a pretty simple life I do. I am not out to make a mark. The word inspire is not in my language,  cuz that is not anything real to me.

No one inspires me to anything, cuz I have a promise all for good. A free ride so to speak. It takes trust for one to give that, and I can be trusted,  cuz I made it out of the maze. I cannot be taken off my path.

As to you people I have no clue. You believe in heroes still. You are still a part of this World so you still seek out Worldly things, and worldly accomplishments and what not. I have no use for any of those things, so it is that which makes me free of you. You don't enter into my equation really,  cuz my walk was solo. You had no say, although I spose I unknowingly helped you along sorta, although nothing really came of it. You still are the same today as before. Just older.

In the end I did nothing. I just did my walk, and made it out the other end. A hidden journey no one could see, but me, and one other.

It's good too,  cuz my heart needs no accolades. I am happy with work,  eat, sleep.

I guess that's good.

Have fun.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

The Dump Day Is A Good Day

I unloaded my truck full of crap yesterday. That's always nice. We got some stuff to do outside,  so we will probably get a big dumpster. We have an old fence to pull out,  and throw out. Also a stupid shelving thing that was in our garage when we bought the place. There was a tinkerer who lived here before us, and he built all kinds of shitty things. I don't know why we never thought to get rid of it before.

Our last window is in too,  so that will be installed today. That is it of the major projects. Now it is time to get outside again.

So basically another day was had. My watch told me I put in another 10 miles plus just by living. I paid no attention to the news. I have no idea of all the important things going on in the World. Lisa had a thing to go to so I stopped,  and had a couple beers. I had Wendy's for dinner,  and I slept early. Usually if I stop to have a couple beers I'll pick up something for a night cap. I didn't feel like one, so that seemed strange for me. I ate my 2 singles,  ate two lemons,  and some pickles,  and just crashed.

I didn't really think of anything important yesterday. I didn't take Hope, but I will today after work. I don't think I have anything major planned this weekend. I'll look forward to do my other two jobs. It's been a week. I do look forward to working mostly. I don't make a ton of money, but money keeps rolling in, so I guess I am good.

I think my brother was going to cash out a pretty big asset. We will take a lot of it. My half will pay off my house. Can you imagine?  He will sell the townhouse, and I don't think he wants to move out til June. All that will be cleared up then. We'll  get a pretty nice chunk by selling the townhouse too.

Then we will just put cash away. I have no need to spend money on anything different than my day to day. I don't particularly like traveling. The World just doesn't interest me too much. My bucket list is empty, cuz in life I miss out on nothing.

I don't particularly like spending a gazillion dollars to see a concert, and I don't really care to see any Sports games.  I am happy to live out my simple days.

It is a regular life with regular days, and my heart is content. The first two we all do normally.  The 3rd thing I needed help with. The 3rd we cannot make.  I did take that trip  where content hearts can be made. By giving up my one coin a very much better one I received. Not without suffering,  and not without learning. If I were the author of this story I would have failed long ago. You know what too?  There is absolutely no glamour involved in my tale.

I like that.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

Keep Plugging Along.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. A little tired, but not too bad. I got my truck loaded yesterday, so I can take some shit to the dump. Just shit that was taking up space I have no use for.

I am surprised how active work keeps me. I regularly am plugging along for 10 miles or so just by living. You get a little run in too,  and a little biking. Just by living it appears I burn at least 3500 calories.  I am tired at the end of my days, there is no doubt.

So work obviously is something healthy I do. Maybe that is why I enjoy working. It keeps me active,  and that is always a good thing.

Outside of that not much going on with me. I could delete this update, cuz it's dumb, but I'll press on.

You know what. I got nothing, I was about to delete this stupid thing, but I am in one of my publish this crap moods.

Enjoy.   :)

Laterzzz.  

I Don't Know.

Okay, I have no idea what to blog about today. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. Work was busy,  but it is actually going pretty smooth. There is a lot to do, but we are starting with enough staff at the baking end.

I was tired after work,  but I did get a pass  to dump a load of garbage. I just didn't fill up the truck yet. Probably today. I also paid off Lisa's vehicle. The guy was pretty excited for me thinking it was a good day for me. It was my only payment on the vehicle.  I took a loan to buy, cuz a big check didn't clear,  so I was only going to make one payment.  I kinda wondered what kind of car payment Hell that guy lives under.

Anyway that was it, I watched tv, and cooked a meal. Exciting huh?  I did get a run in in the morning, and rode my bike to work,  and to do errands, but  that is the extent of the day. I really hope I power through, and take the shit to the dump today.

Really nothing goes through my mind on any given day. I just work,  try to get done as quick as possible,  and figure what to do when I get home. It is an existence I am happy to live. It is an existence that doesn't really mean anything. I am cool with that,  and I am under no illusions contrary to anything else.

Work, eat, sleep, and fill the remaining hours between work, and sleep. I can't even imagine how other people are on the inside. I think some people are tied up in we are "supposed" to think such and such a way. Those people tend to believe in Country, and such. Some religious type stuff that falls way short of the truth.

Life is kinda a maze that is pretty much impossible to get through. You do have to get through it, but I can't see anyone really worried about any of that.

So basically I just live out my day to day. I am of no help to people in any way really.   Just a way for me to know the insignificance of me. Hearts are always tied up in how "significant" we are, which is a total lie. I had to relearn that lesson a lot,  or it was very hard to learn. I guess my heart wasn't really right to accept it, but I was given help as far as that goes.

I am along for the ride now, hoping I don't see too much self importance out there.

Anyway, I gotta go. I am going to take Hope for a short run.

Laterzzz.    :)

Nothing Beats A Good Night Sleep.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. As predicted I did get a good night sleep last night, and that is how you want to start all days. I didn't get as much done as I wanted,  but we did install a glass shelf using black iron pipe, and fittings. It's all the rage these days. So our kitchen is done, save a few pieces of trim.

Other than that not much. I did think about this stupid blog yesterday. I know the updates are dumb and boring. Mostly cuz there isn't much to this little life, so all our blogs are the same. Dumb, and boring.

I wonder how bad our vision really is. Who really has an interesting life?  Rich people?  They still have to fill their day, and I don't see them being all that happy. I suspect people stress about money a lot,  so they must think that is the answer to happiness, but it surely isn't.

I think some people want all the free time in the World, and I don't know why. Where do the hours of the day go? 

I think what we all really want is a content heart. All our false visions are based on that. We want a care free life. Movies, books, society,  news etc... all try to point us down some dead end of where content hearts come from. The answer is nothing in the World leads to a content heart. The World is your enemy as far as that goes. The World poisons you with bad visions too.

What you want most you cannot grab. You cannot make it. You can't labor for it, you can't sacrifice for it, and no books will give it to you.

So you are in an impossible position. Your future is not in your hands, and that was the case all along. We all die at some time we don't plan on. As a matter of fact we all live cuz of no plans of ours. We were just thrown in this place, cuz there was a shitty movie at the drive in some Friday night way back. You know others were even thrown in this place, but in other countries too. We didn't ask for our Country, and none are worth dying for.

We live in a World where propaganda is our master.

Anyway, I am out.

I gotta day planned.

Laterzzz.   :)

Too Many Things Running Through My Mind.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I didn't sleep all that great last night. Too many things running through my mind. Mostly projects I want to get done. Luckily I am over the hill enough to know you cannot do all the things. So all projects are off til Fall, except declutter, and yard work. Yard work always adds it's own projects anyway. We have plenty to do besides gardening,  and cutting the grass.

Other than that not much with me. Back to work, eat,  sleep. Not really sure what to expect work wise today, since I've been gone a week. It is the grand opening too, so it will probably be busy.

I am hoping to take a load to the dump today. I got some stuff to get rid of. That would be huge. Plus Lisa has a project we tried doing last night. It didn't work, because of shitty plaster walls. We'll need toggle boat anchors. If those don't work, we will patch up the shitty plaster, and skip the project.

My day is set I guess. I have enough to keep me busy. I will be tired at the end of the day, so I expect a good night sleep.

Sports are pretty much over for me too. Hawks, and Bulls are out. Sox will suck this year. It's over til football. The Bears are always interesting, even when they suck.

So, I guess we are ready to get this Spring started.  A 50% chance of snow today too.  :)  yay. It will melt though the high is going to be like 40. The rest of the week is stupid. A high of 67° one day, and a couple days later like 38° 

Oh well, I am going to finish my coffee and take Hope.

Later.    :)

xoxo.  :)

xxoo.   :)

My Last Day Off.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I think I slept good. I woke up kinda early,  and I've already had coffee. I may have another. We'll see. Yesterday was okay as far as days go. I feel I got a lot done. I cleaned the fridge. Threw crap away I figured we wouldn't use. I did dishes, and  laundry,  cleaned the basement. It is a new year too, so we can get a free pass to dump some garbage. Load up the truck again. I even filled a bag to give to good will. I looked at some shirts and stuff, and figured I'll never wear these again.

I guess it was a pretty productive day, and I made an easy meal too. I think I'll do chicken cacciatore in the slow cooker today.

Tomorrow I go back to work. We are doubling up now,  so I guess we'll be busy... for the rest of our lives.  :)

I still have a lot to do around here, so I'll be busy anyway.

In other words life goes on.  The days will keep coming, and they will each end. I'll wake up everyday, until that too ends. Have I made the most out of my life?  Yes I guess I have, cuz there really wasn't anything to make out of it kinda. I just had to find my place,  and my place was found for me.

I guess I wasn't sure what I wanted out of life, but I wanted a content heart at the end of the day. It wasn't money that led to it,  or fame, or accomplishment,  but it was a journey. A content heart was not mine to make,  but it was something given to me.

What I wanted all along was given to me as a gift. It started with a turn, and that led to wisdom I guess. Everything I needed I was given. I have lived in great fear in the past,  cuz before me was what was at stake. What I needed was impossible for me to grab, but I still needed it.

It is like the wizard of Oz kinda in that I was given everything I needed, but I still had to endure the days before security was actually given to me. I was not foolish either by being disobedient. When I was asked to play the fool, I just asked for courage.

So like I say the days go on. We all are kinda foolish in a way anyway. This human vessel is not really that great of a thing.

I mean what's so great about poop and snot?

Anyhoo, I gotta go.

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

It Wasn't Out Of Any Norm.

So, I kinda took a vacation. One where I didn't work at a job, but one where I didn't get paid either. I worked though. Clearing up a Town house. We made around 10 trips with the pick up truck to goodwill, and stuff. The truck loaded. We filled a big dumpster of stuff, and we took a truck load of stuff back to Holland to donate to Lisa's restore. There still is a garage full of stuff for the Chicagoland restore to pick up.  I'd like to say it is the craziest thing I've ever seen making this some epic adventure, but I figure everyone accumulates shit no one else wants. We dont want it,  cuz we already have a bunch of shit of our own we accumulated.

So if you see me looking at you, I am probably wondering how much stupid shit you have accumulated  in your place of residence. I am probably also thinking I know you are pretty fucked up. We all are.

We are all probably consumers, which means we are our own special kind of crazy. I think to all the huge houses everywhere,  and why would anyone want one?  More rooms to fill.

Just some more shit to help me realize how stupid our existence is. Solomon did say better off are those never to have been born. I've agreed with that for a long time.

I don't know if people think their lives are epic or something, but they aren't. We aren't doing anything great. Outstandingly unique. We haven't done all the right things,  and it isn't even in our power.

I guess we kinda want to matter, but we don't. We sorta carve out a little life, and most probably don't even question things like why even life? There is no point to this. We end up dying so someone else can go through and give our shit to goodwill or throw it out. My uncle gave us a couple generations of stuff to go through,  and we didn't want 99%+ of the stuff.  We gave it all away or threw it out.

Some things I took away are things we were going to do this Spring and Summer anyway. We're going to give it all away or throw it out. Downsize some more. I guess we should always do it every year.

So that's what I took out of this week. I think you people are more messed up than before,  cuz we all are. Being a consumer means you have lived a stupid life. Just like the drug dealers and war mongers. Don't even get me started on suit wearers with fake smiles,  or people who think fake smiles makes everyone's life better.

You see?  We are all fucked. You should just go have a beer, and call it a day.

Later. 

xoxo.  :)

xxoo.   :)

Next Stop Chi Town, Lido Put The Money Down, Let It Roll...

I bet my brother Jim bought that Boz Scaggs '45 In 1974 or something. Anyway, I have the week off this week to get my Uncle's townhouse ready to sell. Basically donate stuff,  and toss stuff.

I expect it may be weird throwing away a person's life accumulations. At the end of the day I guess I probably didn't know him all too well. I've known him before 1974 though. He was a nice guy, willing to help people out. I can't ever remember him being angry ever. Now we get to throw all his stuff away.

I told Kevin, Lisa's brother to get rid of all his books he'll never read. If he dies in two years we will have to, and they just collect dust in banana boxes. People should not collect stuff. There is no reason for it.

Last week was a pretty good week, us getting shit done wise. Our kitchen is back together. I have to switch a few outlets, and covers to more prettier ones, but that's it. Our front yard is pretty much all cleaned up from leaves, and cutting down grasses etc...  We got the bed cover off our truck, so we will be ready to have 'em dump loads of rock, mulch, etc...  for me the truck with out the topper makes the truck way more valuable. If you have a truck why put a top on It?  A truck is to haul shit, and a top prevents that imho. We will sell the top.

The year goes on. When I get back to work both bakeries will be open,  as tulip time approaches. It will be a busy Summer. I assume not a ton of easy days if any. I'll be so busy I won't have time to spend money. I got a garden to get together, and grass to water. Plus some outside projects we got planned.

Anyway, I guess I better get going. Gotta take a trip around Lake Michigan. It should be a pretty okay time. Eat some meals,  and do some work.

Til next time.

Laterzzz.    :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.   :)