Monday, February 27, 2017

The Seal Ate My Golf Club.

Some days you can see a title, and it should be quite obvious someone; not mentioning any names, has nothing on his or her mind.

So we had a weekend. I don't think anything really major happened. I finished another Pendergast book,  and started another. The prior one I just finished, I read several years ago. When I started listening to books I just figured it would be something I do at work on Sundays, but I actually like it a lot. I am getting through 2-3 books/week. Otherwise I wouldn't read much. I can just sit and think of things to entertain myself. My
mind does not bore me.

The first two days of work this week should be pretty busy. Tomorrow is fat Tuesday so I'll be working both sides of the table. All hands will be on deck 3rd shift tonight cuz they have to make a million packzis. I don't really know why those go with fat Tuesday really. They are basically a Polish jelly filled donut. A local company ordered like 800 for tomorrow not to mention all the other orders. They made a million last year, and sold out by like 8:00 AM. So it is definitely a big day.

Not sure what I'll be doing after. I was kinda thinking of BOGO. We'll see.  The days turn over. One after another,  and we don't really know how much time we have. Are we healthy?   When will our end come?   You don't really know. People kinda assume you'll just keep going. I know from from personal experience one day I turned 40, and a couple weeks later I was 50. Next week I'll probably turn 60, and a few days after that if I am still alive I'll be 100. :)

Time Moves on. Chances are you have no idea what this life thing is about. I don't have such worries. I don't really worry about much I guess. I am not angry at anything really. I don't pay any attention to the news. I feel if people are so divided you can't trust what anyone says. Without trust there is no need to pay attention. Without trust you lost me.

I don't consider my days to be significant, although I know what the outcome of my story is. I don't think of it much, but I did yesterday, and it seemed a bit crazy.

My heart stays humble, cuz it knows the truth. That is a pretty good feeling I tell you. It puts me at peace I guess.

I know this of myself, and I can't not wonder about you. How much tension is in your life?  

As a product of an imperfect society no matter where you were born and raised,  you cannot be at peace. It isn't possible.

There isn't much you can do to improve that either. Your life kinda sucks, but you don't think there is anything better.

The gap between you and I is real, but you cannot comprehend. It isn't possible. You are lost, and you don't know it.

Anyway in this World there are no heroes, but you want them. I don't need them. My path helped me be strong on my own,  cuz I have help you don't even know is possible.

Anyway, I have a big day of work. I'll rest up a bit.

Have a good one.  :)

Saturday, February 25, 2017

It Is Saturday.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am up earlier than I need to, but that typically is the case with me anyway.

I found out yesterday we close on our refi a week from Monday. That is pretty sweet. We took out a little extra money to do our roof,  but we still are only taking out what we originally intended. So all we will have is the house payment,  and the car,  which is only  $100/month. Our lives just got easier.  Sorta easier, we do plan on doing a lot with the house this Summer. I actually feel motivated too, which hasn't been the case for a while.

Other than that not too much going on. I saw a movie yesterday, and I may see one today. I got a text yesterday too to try and skate out early from work today,  cuz it's been a slow week.

I guess yesterday was just about perfect really. Good news. We had a good meal. I slept good,  and I am in a good mood.

I have nothing really serious on my mind. I did think of one thing this morning. The fact I don't really know people. People may tell you some of their day to day, but what else? 

There are probably any number of things to worry about in the World,  and in our lives,  but I am not really concerned with too much.

As long as I've been doing this you would think you know me,  but really you can't. You cannot walk in my shoes in the least. You have no idea.

I guess in a way you don't have any idea what kind of shoes you are walking in. I sorta know,  but am decades removed so not really. I cannot bridge the gap between you and I.

One thing you can say is I am known,  and I am seen. Every little part of me can be seen. My thoughts and all. That gives me strength,  but still you can have no way to know of what I am talking about.

There is a gap between you and I. The truth of this gap is I stand in the better position.

Anyway. I doubt I show up here tomorrow,  but you never know.

Cya.  :)

Friday, February 24, 2017

Today Is A New Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Today is another day. Yesterday was a day. Nothing too crazy happened. I worked. I was tired after work, but biking home woke me up. I cleaned up the kitchen, relaxed, and made an easy dinner.

The refinancing of our house is in the final stages. I knew the market was good in West Michigan, but our house appraised for much more than we thought. It's fake money, and we aren't taking any extra out, but it is nice. Especially since we are going to redo, and finish our basement bedroom and bath.  We will also redo our roof. It will be a busy Summer, but I am looking forward to it.

Other than that not much going on. I may go see a movie after work. I have to check times. We will then have a dinner, and chill. The days don't really change too much. I am on a schedule I am used to. I do what is expected of me,  and I am dependable. I am no great person,  and I am not really significant on my own,  but my story is in different hands, so my value isn't really about this person here. It's entirely something different.

I cannot imagine what it is like being you, while having someone like me around. I was not afforded that luxury. When it came time to find the answers to life I was all alone.

It wasn't what I thought, and I had no idea I'd have these days. At first I thought once I was changed that life was going to be good and easy. Then I saw life was bad and horrible. Nothing for a while. Things started up probably a decade or so again, and now we are onto these days.

Did not foresee any of this, but things are easy now. It is easy for me now. You just have to deal with the tough parts of life.

I guess that is what I wait for among other things.


Happy 1800.  :)

Cya later.   :)

Thursday, February 23, 2017

1799, and Counting.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I slept in yesterday so I didn't blog. I napped,  which screwed me up. I stayed up late,  so just slept in.

I am approaching 1800 updates. I used to approach 300 updates/year. Haven't really been that frequent, but if I did, that would be six solid years of blogging. The wait goes on.

There have been different years, and different themes. At some point we went in the wilderness. In the wilderness life just doesn't seem as great as we thought it would be. Like I said before you don't beat the wilderness, you just get let out eventually. I was let out when I overcame the first time, but I went in different than you. I already knew the scary parts of life,  having endured tribulations already.

As this blog has kinda always been we hit unseen waters. I don't know your story from here on out. I have no clue what your life does from here.

I think a lot of people have disappeared from blogging. You kinda wonder why. Is it cuz of me in some small part?  I don't know. I once was called a troll. I had no idea what that meant at the time.

Whatever. I am me. Doing what I do. As I am approaching 1800 entries I guess this thing is still alive. Many people have fallen away for various reasons unbeknownst to me, but it had little to no effect to me. I am too strong.

I think I remember people should jump on board early, cuz it gets harder as time goes on. That was just one of those things I felt in my heart, although I probably didn't know why.

In this area is me. Something you can see, and read. Outside here I am work,  eat, sleep. I have a silly sense of humor that laughs at all things inappropriate.

Like I said before I am not out to change the World, cuz it ain't changing. I guess in a way I am out to tell people the way to be changed. For the better. The wilderness helps in that,  because it helps you see life for what it is. A never ending succession of days that ends in your death.

No matter what you do, how you fill your days will not lead you to Sainthood. To go that route is something entirely different.  In this area your day to day means absolutely nothing. It is why life has lost its luster for some of you.

You've been building your stairway to heaven, and really you are just an old man with a bundle of sticks on your back.

Your labor has been in vain. The story is about something else entirely different. In the real story we don't even matter. A coin among many others. Not special in any way. Now if you take the right steps your one coin can be turned into 5, but it won't be because your special. I overcame the first time,  and I was the lowest person alive. Not worth a weed in a field.

It wasn't by my greatness or anything. It was cuz I took the proper steps, and was obedient. Nothing special about me at all, and I am cool with that.

Cuz the heart given me is good. I am different today than I would have been left to my own devices. Not perfect yet, but I can still be used as I am.

That too is part of the story. Part of my trail. I was gonna have to do it this way. I just didn't really know how this all played out. I learn as I go.

Okee doke

I'll cya later.

Next one is 1800, not that it matters.

Cya.  :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Some Days I Have No Idea.

Some days I...  scratch that. Many days I have no idea what will show up on here. Today is one of them. Maybe even more so, cuz I almost am not even going to do it. Not for any reason really,  except nothing really on my mind.

Yesterday was pretty okay. Lisa had a spot on her breast. They wanted to do another look. She had her mammogram last week, and they called her back. So she had that to worry about for a week. It's benign. Just a cyst that may just go away. They'll look at it again next year to see if it is still there.

I remember thinking early last week, we've been together for a long while. Her parents died 2 years ago. We worked for many years at various places, and someday it will end. We are not guaranteed some type of fairy tale end. I saw the totality of our lives,  and it seemed pretty dumb.

Years and years of pointless day to day stuff that ends with someone dying. So I see this, and if other people claim what they do and what they think is important,  I'm calling Bullshit.

If you think you are important I am calling Bullshit too,  cuz I know your end. I just don't know if important people will go before you or you before them. People will be sad. It may be you for them,  or them for you.

I guess that is the turn. You just are doing day to day shit like everyone else. It doesn't matter, cuz someone's gonna die. We just don't know who.

Anyway I guess I am glad I am me, cuz I learned what I needed to learn. I took the right steps. Now I just do life. Sometimes people will try to appear important with their ideas, and thoughts or whatever, but I can ignore mostly, cuz I see the end of the road.

No one really is very smart, cuz they cannot see the finish line. I guess in that way I am smart, but people take me as a fool. That is their mistake. Not mine.


This blog is weird I think, cuz just a couple minutes ago I wasn't even going to blog.

Crazy huh?

Okee dokee. I may see you tomorrow.

Bye.   :)

Monday, February 20, 2017

Spring In February.

Good morning. How's it going?  I can't tell if I am tired or not. I woke up a bit more than usual last night.

The weather is crazy for February. I saw  fishing boats on Lake Mac yesterday. I sat outside with Hope. It is going to be 61° today and 64° on Wednesday. It will throw things out of whack,  but I am not totally sure how. It was a few years ago in March like 90% of Lake Michigan was frozen.

Anyway,  yesterday was a normal day. I worked, finished listening to another Pendergast book, and started another. I am skipping the first two books, cuz one was Relic. They made a movie out of it. I think they did the 2nd one too.  I was thinking earlier why didn't they make movies out of the Pendergast books, and now I realize they did.

For dinner I made an oriental meal in our wok. I eventually fell asleep,  and eventually woke up a lot. A lot of Mondays I go get BOGO burritos and have some beers. I am skipping today,  just cuz. I think because I am tired.

Really I have nothing really planned today. I'll come home, and pretty much just wait to do dinner. I'll probably listen to my book.

Omg this update is so dumb. I don't have anything, and this is going nowhere. I could delete it, but whatever.

I'll cya later. Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Up Early For a Sunday

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I am up early for a Sunday so I guess I'll try this. I don't really have much on my mind though as usual.

Yesterday was okay. I cleaned the kitchen, and did laundry. We made tacos for dinner. I slept good too, since I am up early. We'll have good weather again today so it should be a good day. I'll get out of work around 1:00. We also have any number of things we can do for dinner. The day is set. Just not sure what we will do from after work til dinner time.

My life is pretty simple. There are probably things I could do different, but I think I am going okay.

In other news there is no other news. There is nothing really to my little life here. I am 50 years old, and I guess I am in my golden years kinda. Not really much to worry about. Typically life goes and ties people up, but it did the opposite for me. There is a reason for that,  and that is my story.

Such a simple statement the truth will set you free. Sounds good too, but in actuality you have to brace yourself for the truth, cuz it isn't what you think.

It is pretty impossible for a human to come to the truth, cuz our whole lives we learned other things. The World always lied. It's what it does,  cuz it doesn't know the truth.

I find it pretty impossible for me to help you get close to the truth, and maybe cuz you battle against it. Maybe we try, and try, and try, and eventually we break. Meaning you just cannot be who you really want to be.

I guess I was that way. When I found myself alone in the World,  and the World was before me, I tried to make me the best person I can be. It turns out I wasn't too good at that. That helped me see the truth. It helped make my heart right for what it needed to do. That is where you need to go.

For those willing anyway. So far I count zero willing, but I don't really know. Who knows what goes on with people?  Surely not I.

Anyhoo,  I guess that's it.

Have fun.  :)

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

Saturday, February 18, 2017

James Garner Found The Files I Left In Rockford.

Never thought those would be found. Pretty crazy stuff in those files. Geesh, they could probably make a TV show with them.

Anyway, good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Not much going on with me. Nothing I haven't done too much differently in a long while. I finally saw the John Wick movie. It was good for a shoot shoot bang bang movie. I picked up some stuff for dinner. We did potato skins again. 3rd time this week. Basically just relaxed.

Anyway it appears this blog here is getting to be more and more about nothing. Today I am blogging just cuz I slept in yesterday, and didn't.

Now I should just delete it, cuz it isn't going anywhere.

I won't though. I'll end it here though.  Hahaha

Hope you didn't read it to the end.

That would suck. :)

Cya.   :)

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Unchartered Waters.

Looking at the forecast after today the next 8 days will have highs ranging from 48°-59°  since we are approaching late Feb. can winter pop back down?   It would seem Canadia would have to send a good amount of their wind toward us. Is Winter done already?  

If so I guess that's good. The lake is unfrozen,  so July might be hot.  Tulip time will also be a stem fest.

Doesn't really matter I guess. I'll take the good weather now,  deal with the rest later.

I got some stuff done yesterday after work. Picked up my duct fitting to finish the dryer,  cleaned the kitchen,  cleaned the stairs. I also finished listening to another Pendergast book, and started another. I watched the movie I fell asleep through the night before. We also made potato skins again. We got that down. Ours are better than any restaurant I've had.

I guess that is a pretty good day. I was thinking about life a bit. You do all this shit. People die and stuff, and one day you view your end. It all seems dumb when you can see your end. All hearts get broken at some time. People deal with loss,  we fill our time doing whatever. If you are in the rat race I can't think of a worse life. Busy, busy, busy.

I guess every day I have 4-5 hours to do what I want after work. I also have an hour or two before work. That is a lot of free time. I am not saying I am always productive during this time, but I am sometimes.

It is an unbusy, and uncomplicated life. Everyday is a day off sorta,  cuz all the free time. I like my jobs too, cuz everyday I do something you know? 

It is just a good position to be me I guess. I am not lonely, and everyday is a new day to do stuff. There is no guilt, and no remorse. I haven't failed anyone really. I don't know I guess life is easy.

As to other people who knows?   I know they are not like me. Maybe cuz people are always searching for the better version of themselves. Problem is every day is another day. Our moods don't always start the same every day. Mine pretty much does.  I don't seek out a better version of myself, cuz that comes at the end of my story. I found the better version of myself,  but the timing is not mine. The ability to create this is not mine either.

What I get is a content heart. It is what makes me wake up every day mostly with the same outlook. Another day of work,  eat, sleep, with free time added.

You cannot be like me as I am now,  cuz that is part of my story. This too is a gift. The timing of other stuff I just wait and see.

Anyways, I think I'll finish my coffee,  and take Hope.  I may check movies too. I may see one after work. The John Wick one is what I want to see.

Okay, I'll cya.

Have a good one.  :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Just Sitting Here.

I am just sitting here thinking of a title. Nothing really comes to mind. As far as this entry goes,  who knows?   I did make myself a coffee. Not because I wanted one, but just cuz it is a new package. It doesn't taste any different than older ones. This time I bought a dark roast McCafe one. It doesn't taste as good as one you'd get from McDonalds. Maybe that is why people spend money on store bought cups. I am not really an officianado on coffee so I pay a fraction what others do who buy store bought cups. Also I don't drink coffee every day.

Anyhoo, that is that. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. Our house got appraised. We'll see how that goes. Also the other day we cleaned out our dryer duct. That collects lint I tell you. I replaced a couple sections. I always joked about my wife's fears of dryer fires, but after looking at our ducts I see that is a thing.

Other things happened yesterday too. I rented a movie I fell asleep too. Not uncommon. Lisa gets mad when I do. I am listening to a good book. One of the Pendergast novels.  Authors Lincoln Preston,  and Lee Child. I think there are like 19 Pendergast novels.

So, that is about my day. Today starts another. It won't be much different than others. Life goes on.

How I am every day is kinda like a weekend.  After work there is nothing stressful really for me to worry about. Nothing too stressful at work,  unless I make a mistake. I do new stuff so it happens. I try and work ahead a lot if possible. It's February though, so I should be patient.

Anyway, That is about it. Nothing too important going on with me. As usual.

Cya later.   :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Wake Up.

You can always tell the start of a good day when you are pretty much awake about an hour before the early alarm, aka 3 hours before you need to be up.

I didn't do much with that hour. Looked at my phone for a bit, and just laid there. I don't really have much on my mind. Yesterday was pretty okay. I did the work thing. I worked both sides of the table,  but it wasn't too crazy. A full day I guess you could say. I came home, and went out for beers and burritos. It was fun. I usually always see Hawaii Greg there, but I met a few other people there too. Not a bad way to do Monday.

I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting yesterday. A lot of days I'll write stuff down in my blog. I don't really have any idea how it will go. Usually I start my blog with, I have nothing on my mind.

A lot of times stuff will come out anyway. I am getting to the point that I think this thing does very little.  I still do it cuz now it is just a part of me you know. Wake up. If it is early blog about something. Take Hope if there is time. Go to work,  eventually eat, and eventually sleep.

I guess it is a simple life. I have no idea what my life would look like if I did it any other way. All along I guess life pulled me in a certain direction. Through fun times,  and hard times I guess I learned about myself. A kid growing up is not really easy. A lot of questions. Eventually you realize you have to work. You have to live somewhere. I went to school cuz that is what people do.

Eventually I guess I started growing up. Fun is fun, but you gotta do shit too right? 

Really what I did is I went crazy for a bit. It's fun, but it leads nowhere. I corrected my ship, and got through school. Death visits me, and questions of what to do.

In the end I made a right choice. I was lifted up briefly, and then brought down real low. The time before the dead years was pretty brutal. It is where I learned a lot. I also learned where everyone stands.  I learned the World has been a mess for a long time. The message has been lost for centuries too.

I did not ask the question am I the only one,  cuz I didn't need to know. I know the answer now.

I am put in a position where I guess my job is important. I am secure in myself, and that is a miracle.

A lot to my life,  and a lot to me. In the end my life is about my story,  and not me. I am not who I am without me making right choices of overcoming myself and being obedient.

My foundation is strong. It is kinda trippy I guess. As someone who really is of little value, I have been given value. It stems from my story. My help is my strength,  and it cannot be shaken.

My story is invisible besides the words you see here. In the end my story calls many people. How that all unfolds I don't know. I just know the final thing the current version of me has to do. As to others not really sure.

Why me is a good question. It doesn't matter though. I am too far along. I am too strong now to wonder about any of this. The story will play out. I am a vessel used in this story, just not the author.

I guess in the long run through me kinda you get to learn about the author. Maybe. Not sure.

It's a strange story for sure, and I'll keep some of the zany stuff to myself.

I guess that's it.

Later.   :)

Monday, February 13, 2017

The Start Of Another Week.

Here is something new. I wake up, there is nothing really on my mind, yet I am trying to do this. I know, crazy.

Yesterday I seemed a bit tired.  Must not have been real tired,  cuz I made it to work before 5:00 AM. I came home, and watched a movie,  and then we went downstairs,  and did some cleaning in the basement. We really need a plan of action for our basement. I am going to redo the ceiling, and we need to do some flooring. The ceiling was a plank style ceiling tile. I am going to switch to pallet wood I think. The floor I think we will just buy a box or two of something every week or so.  That's how I did our kitchen, and dining room.

So much to do, and the 10 day makes it look like Spring shows up in February this year. So we will have outside stuff to do too.

I can start worrying about that tomorrow. I got plans for BOGO burritos,  and a few beers today. That is pretty much about it.

Nothing too crazy about my life. Days pile up on each other. Nothing changes too drastically I don't think.  I am just sitting here getting older. I am not trying to make the World a better place, cuz that isn't happening. The World is not that great a place. People are not all that great either. Do you ever think about all the things you think about each day. How much can you not say, cuz it is not a "proper" thing to think? 

I did think about that yesterday. Maybe last night during sleep. We all carry a filter. Why?  Why do we think unacceptable things?  Why is there so much division in life?   Part of division is everyone thinks someone is receiving better treatment. That is probably true too, cuz people aren't exactly fair.

I guess what I am saying is no one is a Saint. Look at your network of friends.  They are not in any better position than anyone else. You look at flawed people. The question is does that matter?  Does it matter if you are not perfect?  

What I've learned is yes it does matter. So I was told to go out solo and find my way. The route I need to take. I found my route in the wilderness, because in the wilderness I found out I am worth very little. In my life I don't deserve anything. I haven't suffered so much that I deserve this or that. Maybe that is what you need to learn. Instead of thinking about your Sainthood,  maybe you should look at the truth.

That will make all the difference.

Okay cya.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Wow. It Is Nice To Sleep In

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. I got a really good night sleep last night. I woke up, and had no idea what time it was. Also I had no alarms to go off. So, I slept a little past 5:00 AM.

I guess really if I wanted to I could sleep that late every day. I don't though. Anyway, yesterday was another day. Work went good. There are a couple days that can be really interesting. Monday and Friday. I probably have to work both sides of the table in some capacity. My normal stuff I've been doing for close to 2 years, and I may have to help or do stuff on the mixing side. My side I always know what needs to be done. The other side has some stuff that needs to get done,  and a lot that can vary. It is interesting to say the least.

Other than that not much. Lisa went out to get another tattoo. I am sure she told me, but I forgot.  I ate left over pizza. We watched some cooking shows on tv, and then I fell asleep.  Pretty good day, but nothing really crazy. Kinda typical really.

Let's see. What else?  Not much. I am having a coffee. I'll take Hope in a bit. I'll read before work,  and maybe play mahjong for a bit. I'll clean when I get home. Lisa is picking up something for dinner. It should be an easy day. Maybe all my days are. I think that is the case. All my days are pretty easy.

Anyway, I got nothing. Just this jibberish, so I'll leave it at that.  Try not blowing your brains out from boredom from reading this.  :)


Friday, February 10, 2017

Let's See If We Have Anything Today.

I doubt it, but you never know. Yesterday was okay. Nothing major to report. I didn't do anything particularly exciting. Maybe it will be our last really cold day. You never know.

There really is nothing on my mind at all. I am not particularly worried about anything in the future. I hope our refinancing goes quickly. We are at the appraisal stage now. I have no idea how much more they have to do after that. It seems to me they do more than they used to, cuz of the whole mess up before. I am not sure though. It's been several years since we've done this. 15 or so is my guess.

Really I just plug along with my routine. I am just sitting here watching life go by. People tend to place importance in all kindsa stuff. Our hearts lead our thoughts,  and our hearts we don't control. If we have anger than we figure we are right. Others are wrong.

A lot of issues to concern one self with. I think it must be tiresome. It is for me I think. It's why I don't really like to see too much. There is a spot you truly stand at, and the one you think you do. I gather you are secure in your own intellect,  and everything about you, but you really are blind to the truth.

I see this stuff squarely. I did my life where I thought I was smart. I tried to be good,  but that was out of reach. I was led so far along where I saw how small, and how little I really mattered. As far as good deeds I see it was out of my reach. I saw where all avenues end.

I can't take you down that path. As long as you are a product of this World you will never be much different than now. I can't take you through the eye of the needle,  and I couldn't take myself.

So anyway. Yesterday was a day. Today will be one too.


Thursday, February 9, 2017

Time Moves On.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I did have to stop by the bank again yesterday. Lisa had to sign something,  but she forgot it at home. Turns out we had something else to sign too. I believe that is it for a while.

Yesterday I actually did get a few things done around the house, and I made dinner. I slept pretty good til midnight, couldn't sleep for a while, and then I'd sleep very deep for like a half hour with weird dreams. I'd wake up, and fall into another deep dream filled sleep. I am good at sleep. I know I hit the deep sleep a lot.

So you have the outline of my day. Work,  eat, sleep. Other than that not much on my mind. I have a day set before me, and it shouldn't be much different than others. Minor differences here and there I guess.

Whoever may read this can see my life is pretty uninteresting. I am more than cool with that, and I suspect others lives are much the same. As I've done this a number of years you may have sensed a theme. Maybe many,  but what I think you'll see is from any number of things being important, in the wilderness nothing is.

It's time we put on this Earth, and at our end we will wish we probably did good. I guess that is what I wanted well before my end. What I learned is to be good,  and do good things is not so easy. For one it is out of our hands. Another we don't even know what good is. The best any human can come up with is some Worldly pursuit or something.

Your story if you choose to accept it is not of your making. All your dreams, which in all honesty, you probably never dreamt are of no use here. Remember the hard little truth, at the end of the day SB champs are = to 3rd World prostitutes. Filthy rich Education Secretaries are = to a poor kid in Lebanon who grew up with bombs falling.

Life in the end is pretty much nothing about this World.  Yet we are born here, and are a product of this World.

How do we get from point A to point B. If only someone would have taught us how.

What we do now is go through the motions of life.  Day after day. In the wilderness you'll see we are all equal. One coin among many. Diplomas,  and trophies,  and any other thing you can imagine are worth nothing here. 

So, what is your next step? 

Mine will be to have another day. I've already did a lot of hard stuff to get here.

Anyway, I Spose.

Cya.  :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

A Day.

Okay, I have no idea what to do for a title,  and as to what follows next, probably less of an idea. Anyway yesterday was a day. It was pretty good. I did my errands, and just chilled. There are some things I could have done,  but I didn't.

Do I feel bad about that?   Nah, not really. I ended my day with a dinner, and sleep. I wake up feeling refreshed ready to start another day. So that is pretty much what you want from days right?   You want to feel good when you wake up, and I do.

As to significant things I do in my day to day, nope. I don't do significant things. This is life. It ends in one spot. The rich and the poor all end in the same spot. Superbowl MVPs are equal to poor prostitutes in 3rd World countries. No one really knows that,  but I know it.

I am not really a part of this World. I was set aside to learn other things. I did learn other things. Hidden things. Things I probably  cannot even tell you.  Anyway these days I like to have fun. I do what is expected of me during the day. In my free time I unwind.

I am not really interested in a ton of things.

Anyway, I am just getting something down. That's what I did.

Cya maybe tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Let's Try This Again.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I tried blogging yesterday, and it was dumb, so I deleted it. I was going to get some stuff done yesterday, but stopped for beers after work instead. Lisa went out shopping so I figured what the heck.

Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I may have been tired for staying up late,  but I definitely feel well rested today. Today I have to bring more shit to the bank. Copies of more pay stubs. I sent them 5 from my phone,  but they can't read it. Just when you thought technology makes things easier you still have to go old school. Either that or the people don't know how to expand the picture. Not sure.

Whatever though,  no big deal. My life is going on. It is sometimes kinda neat to sit at restaurant bar. You get to do some people watching. Some people gamble on various things. I don't know, you get a brief glimpse of people,  and I guess it's okay. Really life is kinda boring,  and I can't imagine how people suffer through it.

How much do people rationalize stuff?  People assume a lot to be important, but one of those questions that need to be asked,  is it?  Am I?  Do you want to ask those questions?   Are you afraid of the answer? 

I think you should be, cuz everybody starts off on the wrong path. The path of the World. The truth is something different entirely. It isn't this World is beautiful, and the stars are shiny, and nature is this majestic thing. It's more like this life is pretty much dumb when viewed from the World. When viewed from the truth it is pretty much just work, eat, sleep. Hopefully you are lucky like me, and your heart is cool with this simple truth, but I figure you probably aren't like me. Just cuz it took me a while to get where I am now. Also my help makes me the way I am.

So anyway. Something I learned from my brother Jim is all people are liars. Always want to show everyone how great their lives are, cuz they don't know to deal with a heart uncontent. You are missing something,  but you are not sure what.

Anyhoo, just getting something down. Today I plan on having a day. Since I feel rested I think it will be a pretty good one.

Have fun at work today,  and doing all the things responsible people do. School, bills, budgets, staring at phones,  staring at computer screens, sending emails, reading emails for those who do that kinda stuff.  :)

Later.    :)

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Another Week Down.

It's been a week since I last blogged on a Saturday, so that's another week. Today is my short day of work. Usually only 4 hours. Lately I've been doing some house clean up stuff when I get home. It seems to work out well. We'll have a dinner, and that's about it.

I did do some thinking before I got up. Just thought of some of the disappeared people. I wonder what happens to them. I have no clue. Gone I guess. Live out their days doing whatever it is they do. It probably isn't good to be one of the disappeared people, but I can't do anything for them. Don't particularly want to anyway, cuz my work is done, and I just wait for my final thing. Whenever that takes place. Not really sure what has to happen before that either.

People will need help, and it won't be directed by me. In the wilderness you'll find nothing matters, and no one cares. The wilderness is what makes you see the false pageantry of the World.

The truth of this life is we matter very little. We lived a life believing in our importance,  but some day you will die, and you'll see there wasn't much really to life. We all had some fun. We liked some people,  disliked others. People never really reach contentment. Need this. And need that. Must do this, and that, then one day you are on your death bed.

What did any of it matter? 

Anyhoo, just getting something down. Now that I think of it I kinda have always been this way since the start of this whole thing.

People, and things may have been important to me at one time, but if they disappear no biggie. I can quit anything too like a hobby no biggie.

A turn I can always make. I am confident,  and secure in whatever I do. That probably is the best thing about the blessing I received. I didn't care at the time, cuz my life was in the balance, and shortly after I waited for my death. Chained up in a bed in a hospital. Strapped maybe. I woke up the next morning to my surprise. With a strength not mine I said the right words,  and overcame for the first time.

Overcoming is giving up your life for your friends. Not just this one, but accepting Hell as your final destination willingly.

I've done it twice,  and the final one will be the real deal. I will be the enemy of the World at this time, and some of you will know me then.

The disappeared I have no clue. I don't think they were strong enough.

Anyway. I guess that's it.


Friday, February 3, 2017

My First Cup Of Coffee This Week

This has been a non cup of coffee week. I am having my first cup today. Some days I don't feel like it. Some days I just sleep in. You can pretty much assume if I don't have a cup early morning I won't have one. Coffee doesn't really do anything for me, but I do enjoy a cup occasionally.

Not really much going on. We are in the process of refinancing our house. Taking a little extra money out. The big thing is we are getting rid of a stupid home equity loan. Had it for years, and basically paid the minimum. That will be good. Less bills. We will basically be making a significant more money than we have to pay each month. We are old too, so we don't want or need any toys.

In the end I think we all want to simplify our lives. Less bills,  and less have to do this and that. Maybe that's not true. I guess some people take on more and more responsibilities. Join another group, another league, have another kid.

I've lived life long enough. I know there can be enough stress in life. The World can pretty much grab a hold of anyone.

I think we all want the key to life. What makes us happy?  What is the secret to life?  The question everyone probably seeks. A lot of people have come up with a lot of answers. I know my answer. I looked for a purpose way back when. I had pretty good eyesight too, cuz life was pulling. When I saw there was no purpose to life is when I found it.

You may think it was all peaches and cream, but it wasn't. I had no idea what I was getting into. I've seen things and endured things that many don't even think possible. There must be value in that cuz I couldn't tell people. The craziness about my story is what makes it solo. I couldn't turn to anyone.

I was made to suffer and endure some pretty hard days. It was all part of learning really.

Anyway so far it just led me to this place here. A place where I am different than you. A place where I have traveled far in my journey. Endured much. I've taken the proper steps,  and that's it. I've done my stuff, and it is time for others,  but really we are doing nothing, and accomplishing nothing. The World is kinda boring really. Day after day we toil for this and that.

Maybe we seek for some epic something to happen in life,  but it's just life. There is nothing epic about it. Trillions have done it before us, and they all ended in the same place you will.

No one succeeded in life. Life beats us all by bringing us to the ground. Turning us back into dust and ashes, although we were smarter than dust and ashes for a bit. It's what makes us arrogant.

Pretty silly.

Anyway, today will be a day. I think it should be okay. Tomorrow is my sleep in day. I am looking forward to today, and this weekend.

Guess that's it.

Later.   :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Hey, It's February.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. Yesterday, I had just your regular type day. So regular I wasn't going to do this. I was just going to sleep, but I was done sleeping. I figured I would try to do this,  but I thought I might just delete it. Not very confident I have anything to write, but whatever.

I kinda think what if I didn't do this anymore?  What would I do when I wake up so early?  This I guess.  :)

I wake up today not knowing what kind of stupid shit is going on. I usually get most of my news from social media, and really I don't see much, so that's good. Most of the time you see people getting angry I guess. Going out of their way to prove their side is right, and the other is wrong.

I lean left in my thinking,  so that is how I am. If you look at me I guess it is easy to see what I am about. Work, eat, sleep. Not much more to me, and really not much more to life. Maybe that is what it is all about. The more you go on the less there is of you. I kinda feel that way. You know how I've said there is less and less of me?  

When I say I am poor in spirit I am only full on my feet. Now you don't know what that means, but I've been like this for a great while. It used to be I was vulnerable this way. Only time I wasn't was during the dead years, and after overcoming the 2nd time. That coincides with the start of this blog, and that was several years ago. How I am now I can not carry much. So after my 3rd time I get a new wineskin, that can carry everything. I will be full then. Overflowing as it were.

It is all as it is written, but it is written in spirit terms, so you have to be mostly spirit to know what it means. That's me. I know a lot about this stuff,  but I still lack understanding, and that is what I've been after all this time.

What I write here means you are nowhere. You are still the person born to this World. Been there done that. I'd be just like you if I didn't take the steps I did in the early 90's. I had no vision, no teacher, no one to ask for help. When I wanted someone to help me there was no one. My journey was solo, and I had no one for help, except my help. Unseen, and unknown by all.

I was led by great fear. I suffered for a long time. My time in the wilderness was tough. You cannot even know. I remember after overcoming the first time I became arrogant,  because I had no idea what I was doing. I was almost cast aside,  but one interceded for me, and i did that for one other too. That was two blogs ago.

There were a lot of people I've come across doing this. The percentage of people who disappear is pretty high. I don't really know what that is about, but I just have my life. My work is done,  so I live out my days. I don't have anything to accomplish,  cuz my journey is over, but the wait.

On a strange note the person I interceded for I told her I'd wait for her. I didn't know what it really meant when I said it. There is no manual for my journey. My heart led the way. She was one of the 2nd five. The only one who didn't blog. I don't think of her at all. Years probably.

There is nothing to me really. Nothing important at all. Just a guy with a little life. I wait to do my final thing. And the timing is not in my hands.

Others wish for money, and security, and I wait to suffer, so I can become the best a person can be. Security I already have, I kinda guess since I have help I will never lose it.

You never know.  I don't know exactly what I will be walking into. I just know it takes a lot to just save little old me.  A whole story decades long. A story that got lost for centuries.

Anyway, I guess that's it.

Cya later.