My Day Starts Early.

My day definitely starts early, or I like it to anyway.  I guess it's a habit. I like this early time. I am up a couple hours typically before work.

Yesterday was okay as far as days go. We worked a little late, and I stopped on my way home. So basically I didn't do anything after work, but chill, and then made chicken enchiladas. That stuff is so ridiculously good,  and easy to make. It totally hit the spot. The day before I made ribs that fell off the bone with double baked potatoes. That doesn't really mean anything except you can eat pretty good meals pretty cheaply. How much would you spend going out, and buying for yourself, or 5 people?  A lot.

My life is simple like that. Work,  and eat something for dinner. My house is comfortable. I love the extra room we added by putting the vent free fireplace in the breezeway. It's so comfortable. Our house i feel is insulated ridiculously. I never hear our furnace go on. Granted it's usually around 40- 50 degrees out, but I swear I never hear it.

I don't feel I am anxious about anything. I am in no hurry for the future. The days change. Pretty regularly too. Like every 24 hours or so.   ;)  Today is as good as any other.  I guess one thing about me is I am not looking toward better days. Today is fine,  I don't need anything to be any better. There is no gold at the end of the rainbow. I am here. It's fine, I don't need gold.

I don't really know what makes a person think money is the key to happiness.  Happiness comes from our heart. It's one thing we have no control over.

Me knowing you a little better than you do is kinda trippy I guess. I don't really dwell on it. I live my day to day, and go with the flow. I just know others are missing out on stuff,  but they don't know it.

There is social media stuff,  but what do you want to show people. There isn't much to share is there?  We all have our lives. Our day to day that goes on, and nothing really means anything.

Without a content heart I would think life would be challenging. Always yearning. Always striving. For what?  Money?  Recognition?  You strive for a content heart. You go in any number of directions, and it is something you cannot create for yourself. A person born of this World is trapped inside. You want a care free heart, but no ways of the World will help you. It's out of your power. No matter what you didn't create for yourself some really special and excellent life. You just did what others did. Follow different winds at different times to where it lead.

My path I was totally blind to. No clue what I was doing. I was obedient though, for I knew the ramifications. My job was not to be perfect,  although I wanted it for security. My job is to overcome 3 times. Mostly live it, and experience it, because my heart is given strength to overcome. I cannot do any of it on my own. My heart is just strengthened to do what it must. I cannot even imagine the 3rd time. That may be scary. I'll be given courage though, cuz this vessel will have to be created new. As I am now I cannot be filled with perfection. I guess my new vessel will be created by fire.

Lol. You have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. 

Anyhoo,  I spose. 

Have a good one.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.    :)))

OMG, I Have So Much To Tell You.

J/k.   ;)

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was pretty good as far as days go. I slept til 7:44 AM. I woke up thinking it was 4:00 AM, but it was almost 8:00 AM. That was good. I got most of my shit done on Sunday before work, so I pretty much had the whole day. I worked out, ran a couple errands, then basically chilled,  made a meal, and that was it.

I seriously have nothing too pressing going on right now. No more major projects til Spring,  and we really only have one. The driveway.

Really all we have to do is organize, and some finish work stuff. Nothing hard at all. So I guess I can relax. More than I normally do anyway. It's a good time for me I guess.

Other than that not much going on. Work, eat, sleep with a Monday off.  I am at peace I guess. Nothing really significant about me or my life. No great projects to tackle. No momentous whatever in my future. Life I guess is easy for me, and I suppose that means it must not be for you.

I know this, cuz I did not create my easy life. How I would be now if I didn't do what I did before I have no clue. The new me knows not the old me.  The new me wakes up like this most mornings.

I have nothing to prove. I need not any trophies. Accolades I have no use for. Life is just simple, and that stems from how my heart is. In our effort to create the perfect life we will fail. Our hearts go astray on any number of occasions. What will drive you nuts is we cannot keep ourselves in a box. We cannot get rid of the noisy World. There is always shit to worry about.

A content life is a most impossible thing to create,  yet I live one. Not because I created it, but rather my heart is made to feel that way.   I see no other person I'd rather be than me. No other life I'd rather live than mine.

I'd call it something like the meaning of success or whatever, but I did not create me. I am a product of the turn made decades ago. I did not create this person I am now,  and where I am you cannot stand. There is a chasm between us, and I cannot close the gap between you and I. It will be closed at some time. Maybe after the third and final thing I must do. Not sure, but if that is the case that means this blog is of no use. It doesn't do anything. It probably does, but I am not sure what. I just do as my heart feels, so...

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.   :)))

A Title Is Becoming The Hardest Thing.

These days it seems I sit thinking about a title forever. Writing this isn't hard. I don't know if I ever really know what I'll write. I just start, and see what comes up.

I don't know how I did it,  but I finished everything this week I wanted. I had some outside stuff to finish up before the weather turns. It's all done,  and Halloween isn't here yet.

I guess I don't really have much to write about. Life goes on. I guess I had a thought last night while supper was cooking. A thought I have not a thing to worry about. I am healthy,  active,  doing fine financially. I work, and bring money in. Work to me is mostly entertaining and fun. It's work,  so you have to work, but one job is mostly fun, and the other I listen to books while I work.

I know I am lucky,  and it is quite unique to be in my position. You cannot create that feeling I had last night. It is that little disconnect that makes me wonder of others. The struggles people deal with in life. I have a feeling people are always trying to measure up. Be as good as some ideal. Be as good as some other person, and how you perceive them.

No one should be looked up to. You are looking at a lot of imperfection wherever you look. No one lives up to any kind of ideal person. In the end we believe lies. Our eyes don't really see the truth, or comprehend it. We seek for Saints, and there are none.

So now what?  Life is supposed to be this grand thing, and it isn't. People are supposed to be remarkabke creatures, and they aren't. This World is supposed to be amazing, and it isn't.

We were born in a place where bad information is everywhere. Taught to believe things that aren't true. We put our faith in lies. Life sure is disappointing, because we grow up with false expectations. I guess we all suppress shit we aren't supposed to think. Sacrifice in areas, so as to improve our self worth.

Life is pretty ridiculous, and kinda filled with ridiculous people. I don't know how others skate through, when I know they will not feel how I do. At this point I cannot even help you in the slightest. You were given a coin,  but you chose the World. Nothing about this place brings happiness. Just look around. Everyone seems mad about something.

Anyways, it is good to be me. So many years have passed since I started on my journey. I still am not done,  but really has anything been really that hard for me since overcoming the 2nd time? We did have the draught years, so doing this thing was hard. These days a title isn't always easy to come up with. Other than that though.

Being assured of being on the right side of being right is a good feeling. Everyone I guess thinks they are in that same position. They are wrong though. Their foundation is built in the sand. Built on lies.  False teachers are plentiful, and unknowingly they lead many astray.

We are born thinking we are right, and it took me a lot to learn I couldn't be more wrong. So I went on my path of learning. It will once again lead me to great suffering,  but I am willing. Have been for a long time.

Anyhoo. 

Gotta run.   :)

Have fun.     :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.     :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Bye.    :)))

It Was Just A Week Ago Or So.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. It seems like it was just a week ago I was wondering how my to do list got so large. Here I sit with most things done. We expanded our driveway with a lot of gravel. Vent free heater is installed in the breezeway. Insulated up top. Circular tiles above the garage is done.  Electrical is done in the breezeway,  except for finish work. I even pulled my tomato plants out, and put them in the yard bin. Cut the grass for the last time too, except for bagging up leaves. That means I'll have to run the lawnmower like 5 more times still.

I have taken a week off from working out. Not really intentional,  but I think I jacked up my back while I was in the airplane. Nothing crazy, but just a little sore.  I am fine now. I can go today after work, cuz my little project today shouldn't take much time.

This is a pretty good time of year I guess. I am acclimating to the change in temps.  Really it's just good to get a bunch of shit done.

I guess it's time to think of Spring projects for next year, and it won't be so stupid busy like this year. We got most of our shit done. We have some things,  but hopefully we'll have everything organized.

Pretty soon the Holidays will be here. There will be a window of being stupid crazy busy at work,  and before you know it the year will turn over into a new one.  I guess this year has been quite a year.

Other than that not much. Yesterday was quite productive after work. It probably helped I slept in as late as I could.

Today will be a day. It shouldn't be too crazy. My days typically are pretty okay. I may even have a 2nd cup of coffee before my run.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Bye.    :)))

Unexpected.

So a strange for me thing happened yesterday. I went to bed early Wednesday night. I didn't wake up to any of my early alarms. Basically slept as long as I could. I thought I'd be bouncing off the walls with energy, but I was tired still yesterday. Like maybe I was battling a cold or something. Today I am fine, so I guess all is good.  

Also we had in total 4 yards of rock delivered the last two days. The area at the end of our yard has now got fabric and gravel down for parking. It's what we use the area for anyway. My dad did 90% of the work too. I did very little. It came out good.

So basically life goes on. Obviously nothing too important going on with me.  Even this update seems dumb to me. It seems dumb cuz it is.

Who gives a fuck about my boring life?  It is pretty simple I guess. I do the work thing, and the rest of the day is mine. I don't really have to stress about much. My life isn't special,  or unique really. I guess it has been unique, but right now it is just plain easy. I see people for how we are. Not gifted or creative really. Not special you know? 

We aren't smarter than others.  Our life really doesn't matter. There are no people of virtue who surround us. Every person you look at is not virtuous.  They may try to fake it though. There are no heroes. No one to look up to. No one we should try to emulate,  cuz all have their own struggles.

I think the main struggle with life is people think it is more than it is. Like this is supposed to be special or something. It isn't. You haven't carved some special niche out if life,  and you never will. On your own you won't become content. You will not become a saint. Destined to fail you are, and you cannot fake your way out of it.

Something has been bugging me since yesterday. I saw a customer at work. She looked familiar kinda, but I can't place it. Where have I seen her before?  I got caught staring at her trying to figure it out.    :)  I should have just asked her where she works or something. I cannot place her. One of those weird things. 

Anyway, I guess I am back to my normal self. Doing the life thing as it comes. Wake up without much to worry about, and the day will progress the same. Work,  eat, sleep.

Right now, I gotta run. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.   :)))

I Could Sit Here All Day.

I definitely would have sit here all day trying to come up with a title. I got none. Yesterday was an okay day. My biggest annoyance was a knot I have in my butt. I don't know how I got it. Also I was sore from my Monday workout. So basically if I moved yesterday it hurt.  I worked so I moved a lot. My butt feels like I accidentally sat on a tennis ball for like 20 hours. No clue where that came from.

We got our vent free stove put in. If you've been around these parts you'll remember Jerry who I used to run with a lot. He's a plumber, and he fit time in his schedule to hook me up. He cut in to our natural gas supply outside and ran cssx tube to our breezeway. Natural gas instead of propane will save us money. Our breezeway will be heated,  and we have a big area for our house plants. I am sitting out here now.

Other than that not much. I feel if my sleep was a bit out of whack I caught up last night. I had a couple cocktails,  ate dinner, and crashed. Putting the work, eat, sleep motto to good use. I have to move a bunch of rock today. We are getting a yard shipped. I am going to put gravel down where people park at the end of our yard. I'll probably just come straight home today instead of working out. Just to get it done. My dad said he'd help too, with what he can.

So life goes on. I am out of coffee which sucks.  One of the days I would really like a cup. I am not sure about running this morning, cuz of my butt. I guess I might as well. I ran yesterday, and it felt pretty good. I don't know if it will aggravate my butt or not. I can always use the foam roller after I guess. Maybe find a tennis ball.

So, I got my routine. I will work today,  I got shit to do after. There will be a meal too. It's all one could ask for. I wonder what my outlook would be like now if I were just the person who was born here.  Would work be a grind?  Would I feel like a better life is somewhere else? People sometimes say they want to live their best life. I found that avenue.  It isn't anything like lifestyles of the rich and famous.

I don't know how you'd explain it. It comes from a different heart I guess. One not of this World. It comes from a life you didn't create.  It's not one you can really see either. As a person born in this World you see wealth as a source of happiness,  and contentment perhaps. It's the best the World can offer. It's all a heart of this World can see. The turning point for any person is being able to see their life is only one coin. Nothing more. Only then can you overpower the World.  As I write this now I see why we went in the wilderness. So you can get good vision.

Remember I said I wouldn't have taken you in the wilderness cuz it is brutal. After a year or so I see why we went. To help you.

It figures.  See how I do stuff, and I have no clue why, and then it hits me why we did it.

Pretty cool.

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Have fun.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Bye.    :)))

Just Like That Fall Is Here.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. Life is back to normal. I worked Saturday and Sunday. Yesterday, I had off, and well, today I work.  somehow my to do list got a million miles long. I have no idea how that happened. Fall is here too, so leaves will be falling.

There really isn't much on my mind. Life goes on, until it doesn't. I find it kinda strange where people think in life there is nothing you can't accomplish if you work hard, and yadda yadda yadda. Well, you will die,  and I don't care what lengths you go to, you won't change it. People will tell you they see the big picture, but obviously they don't.

In just a couple years after you pass most of your life will be forgotten. Loved ones may think of  you once in a while, but less and less as time goes on.

I don't find that sad at all, just the reality of it all. I mean at my moment of searching I guess I wanted to live a life that mattered, but it really won't. I mean, yeah I have a story not of my making. Not of my planning either. One I kinda got thrown in, and really there ended up being a lot of downtime in this story. Never really knowing the timing of things,  I guess I always thought things would be done sooner rather than later.

Time is something people worry about, because one day you are young, and two weeks later you are 50.  Rocks aren't concerned with time. Things not bound by time aren't either.

I'd say your time is short so don't be mad about stuff, but people don't control their outlook. Every day almost I see angry people. Yikes.

When I was in S.A. I saw a lot of people in the service industry. I don't know where they lived, but people seemed okay. I can't imagine a ton were making a lot of money. They seemed to have mostly a decent disposition. I couldn't think of any reason for it, but I guess I like it. Good for them you know? 

So anyway, I got a lot to do. How that happens I don't really know, but it does.

I'll keep plugging along. I'll be back in my routine today, and I don't want to go on vacation for a long time.  :)  I like my routine better I guess. Work, eat, sleep.

My disposition is pretty okay too I guess. Mostly just cuz my heart is fine with my lot in life.  In the end I will have done good.  I guess that is more important than really mattering. I'm fine with that too. This heart doesn't need much, and I am grateful for that. 

Anyhoo, guess I better go. 

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.     :)

Bye.    :)))

So, I Can Relax.

I don't think I've ever been a good vacationer.  I guess I am good for a bit, but then I run out of things to do. I am doing good this time around. I won't bore you with details, but S.A. is a pretty cool city. A lot like N'awlins. Walk a lot, look at shit, eat, and drink. I don't know if the night life is the same, but I am 52 years old. I don't stay up late. The river walk area is probably different than anything else in the World. The restaurants at street level, also have a seating area 1-2 stories below outside where the riverwalk area is. Pretty crazy. It's Texas too, so you can travel to any number of cities.

We spent a lot of money, but Chase gave me $500, so at least that portion is free.

Other than that not much. I've been able to run in the morning on the riverwalk away from the shops. I got a little fitness area too, so I've been able to work out. I didn't really want to take a week off. I still wake up at 2-3:00 AM, but I try and fall back asleep or play solitaire.

The people here are friendly,  and the downtown area seems as safe as can be.  

Other than that not much. Just doing this living thing. I think traveling is expensive,  especially if you have to eat out all the time. It's neat and fun to do, but I still am happy if I don't travel. I like my life where I live. It mostly has to do with how i feel on the inside. Life is easy for me. I am not mad about things in the World. The World is stupid. I am fine on my own you know?  I don't need any big changes in the World to change my outlook. I am wise enough to know happiness comes from within,  not from your bank account. If I had a million dollars I'd still work my jobs, cuz I like too.

I am not one who wants to make my life harder by doing more and more things. It's all how you feel on the inside, and that you do not control. In that regard I kinna wonder how people feel.

I haven't taken any pics on vaca, cuz to me pictures are dumb. They never really show how you feel when you look at stuff, and I am fine with memories. We have pics from our wedding I never look at. As a matter of fact my memory used for pics is pretty much nothing. I don't take pics too much.

So, that's what I've been up to. Just chilling really.

Doing okay really. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.   :)))

Sleeping In A Bit.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. You never know how a week will go. I think I had a cup of coffee on Monday...maybe. none since this morning. I don't know why. I definitely go through stretches without. I couldn't get up during my early alarm today either. So I slept in a bit. I was surprisingly tired after work yesterday. I didn't feel tired at all yesterday,  until I got home, and it hit me. I took a little cat nap, and worked on my circular tire above the garage. I just have the top row left. Maybe 10 pieces max. I still have a little white trim to paint,  and I'll do that after vaca.  Our vent free fireplace is in, so our plumber is going to schedule a time to run the gas line, and hook up to the appliance. Propane guy will come after that,  and get it up and running.

So that will be it, unless we get our driveway done. We'll see about that. Not really much going on besides that. I work today and tomorrow, and that's it for a bit.

No major plans in my life. As always just doing the day to day. It's 45° out right now.  :)

I am terribly lucky to live this life.  Everything is so easy now. I don't really have anything to be afraid of, and I am strong on my own 2 feet so to speak.

I can't imagine really how others are. Trapped inside society's norms and rules.  Afraid of the truth, cuz your hearts don't always think and feel "correct" stuff.

We are an entity of imperfection,  but really the World overpowers us so we have to dress things up in a form of acceptability. You can run, but you cannot hide from your true nature.

It doesn't matter how much you dress things up,  perfection is out of reach.  Try living in your own head one day. Take ownership of your thoughts. I am thinking this here right now. I shouldn't, but I am. That is you.  You can't hide it from yourself,  that shit is there. 

I don't know if it is anger, lust,  judging, hate, everything you don't want is trapped inside you. Things you don't want to feel, and think about you do.

Somehow you accepted such shit as it doesn't matter, or others are worse than you. Well that shit does matter. You have to figure out why it's there,  and how you get rid of it. I know why it's there.  You don't. I know how I'll get rid of my stuff. I've been waiting decades for it. You, I have no clue.

Life is a tough thing.  Dealing with us is tough too. Cuz unbeknownst to you is the fact you are not that good,  and in the grand scheme of things not important. I found the way to deal with me. You are a part of the World. An entity afraid, so you hide, and pretend inside you is good.

Take ownership of yourself today. Deal with all the crap that runs through your mind. 

Enjoy.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Bye.   :)))

Snuck In An 80 degree day.

So yesterday was like 80°  Snuck one in on us. I got shit to do, but I didn't do anything yesterday. I had to work out after work,  but that was it. We just sat outside enjoying the weather. I guess a pretty good day. I made fajitas for dinner, and man that hit the spot. I guess it always does.

Not really a lot on my mind today. I'll get some shit done after work today. We are flying out Sunday to San Antonio for a quick 4 night getaway. No reason really. It was on our radar for cities to check out, but not really for any reason.

I think it will be nice to have a week off, but sometimes it's hard to fill up my day when I don't have that 8 hours. The day fills up,  but I don't always enjoy it as much as my typical day to day.

Not much else going on with me. Today is a day. I am awake, and excited about it. For no reason really. It's how I am.

I honestly don't know other people. I am not out to change the World. I know my abilities. I don't really have anything of much value. How I am now I couldn't make. I am different than the person who was born here. There was nothing special about my life that singled me out.

There was nothing special about me growing up. Nothing of any lasting significance. My life has been gone through with a fine tooth comb. All the pain I felt I dealt with. All the hurt I caused I dealt with. All the shittyness of me as a person I dealt with.

There are no secrets to my life. I am open,  able to be viewed. I guess I know what the ultimate value of me is. Not much. I had to learn the truth of the World. In so doing I learned the truth about me. Like the World I am not of much use. Even so my little coin that is equated with my life has been used for good.

It wasn't my plan,  and I didn't think it up. When I took a good look at the World I realized there is nothing here for me, so I made the turn. At some point, probably after, I had the mirror. I didn't scheme in ways to make the World better, cuz that's an exercise in folly. I just looked at who I was compared to what I viewed a good person should be. I didn't pass the grade, and it was out of my reach.

You aren't there,  and honestly it's a step that must be made. What happens after I don't know. You won't walk my path,  cuz mine was a long journey. If you stay as you are, then that is your fault. You loved yourself,  and the World too much. It takes courage to grab the truth, cuz it is easier to trust lies. 

It isn't easy really. The truth is brutal when you get down to it. The truth takes no prisoners,  and the World dresses everything up in party favors.

Anyway, gotta run.

Have fun.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Bye.    :)))

Pictures And Letters.

So, not really much has happened since I last did this thing. More of the same. Just living these days. Yesterday I saw something interesting I guess. I was downstairs finally collecting all the stupid paper shit I collected for a good 15 years or so. Insurance bill from Sept. of '96, I had it in my insurance file. Credit card statement from August of 2001,  I had that in the respective file for that credit card. Bill for roto rooter from like 20 years ago, I had that. Not sure where I filed that. I had 60 files or something.  I dumped it all at a paper gator thing by my house. It had to be about 50 lbs. Of shit.

Then I saw the pictures and letters. Pictures of me and my HS girlfriend dressed up for whatever dance. Me with my long hair sitting on my car with my soccer uniform on.

Down the road I saw pictures of Katrina my College girlfriend, and letters. For a good 2 years I was probably the nicest guy she ever met. Now that I think about it I don't know what a young Katrina thought about really. What did she think life should be like?  She was hot, and fun, and sexy. We would have done the married with kids thing, but I had shortcomings I had to learn about I guess.  My own shittyness as a person I guess.

My mom died, I graduated from college,  we broke up on my birthday one year. I remember I wasn't sad. I was relieved. All alone I was. Responsible to no one. My life was mine. That kinda was the beginning of my story.  You'd have to go back in my blogging to get to that though. It may even be in a blog I since deleted.

I saw shit I wrote back during some hard times. I thought it was the wilderness years, but the more I thought of it, I guess it was the empty year after the wilderness. My energy was gone, and life was the worst thing ever. During this time I met Natalie. I was never going to have a girlfriend ever again, cuz even then I was waiting for the final thing I must do. Overcome 3 times, and then Katrina,  and I can hug. She was one of the first 5 coins. My brother Jim was too, and he is dead. One of the 10 I collected, and he is gone. 10% of what I collected I gave back. Tithing too is really the sword,  but churches collect wrong coins, and people cannot see the sword for what it is. I am the only one I know who has done this,  and I didn't even know I was doing it. 

Anyway you cannot see the sword for what it is as you stand now. I don't have understanding so it is pretty useless to me.

Anyway for not wanting a girlfriend I fell head over heels for Natalie. She left for Denmark for a bit, and I missed her terribly. I wrote her every day, or close to it. One night while she was abroad my energy returned. Silliness and a care free life were mine. These were the dead years. Nothing of nothing happened. I saw Alysia, and I kept in touch while she studied somewhere in Italy I think. Alysia was Natalie's twin sister. Not identical. I had a letter from her when she was in Italy. I also had a ton of letters  from Catherine from Norway. We met in Eau Claire,  and I guess she was about what I wanted and craved at the time. A pen pal. We talked, and wrote letters back and forth. A lot too. We met one final time in Chicago. She met my friends,  and we had a fun weekend. We were never more than just friends, strictly platonic.

She is all married and in Norway. I am friends with her and her husband on FB.

Anyway it was interesting to go back in time. I guess since I overcame the first time writing was going to be what I did eventually. I had a bunch of shit I wrote during the empty year, and even stuff I guess when Katrina and I were together.

The blogging started with that one Sunday of me reading the running blogs. I didn't know it at the time, but that was the end of the dead years. I knew things were starting up again, but I never really called them the dead years til later.

So as you can see there still is a life here. I had more letters and stuff. I didn't reread a ton of stuff, and most of it went in the paper gator.

I have fond memories of the girls in my life. Carolynn I never think about. I was young, and in HS trying to find the person I wanted to be. I wanted to be humble, and I probably didn't want to masturbate 70-80 times / week like I did back then.    :)

Hahaha.  I keed,  but fuck young HS boys are fucked. 

Anyways today will be a day.

Have fun.   :)

Luv Ya's.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.   :)