Monday, December 31, 2012

Finishing Strong.

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Another year of blogging done after today.  290 will be the final tally, and what will this year yield?? 

I hope to have a better year getting in shape wise.  I would like to be more active I think.  I like my down time, and I like my fun time, but here is hoping I do some of the little things I have been lacking.  Push ups, and Pull ups, and if I am running injured there is no reason I cannot ride the forsaken trainer in the Winter time.  It is really boring, and I don't foresee me being able to do much more than an hour on the blasted thing, but I am hoping to be more active. 

This year was the year of trust, and I guess we have done okay, as with every year I am sure we failed too.  We will learn a lot in this upcoming year.

Life is full of tough stuff.  Truth is a hard thing, and  truth is strength, because it ain't no walk in the park.  Life has one ending for us all.  One thing you cannot take out of the equation.  It should always be in our plans, because it is a certainty. 

I don't really have much today, but glad I hit 290.  I won't go back and read all of this.  I never do.  Sometimes I'll go back and read a random post for the heck of it. 

So here is to another year.  We still have a lot to do. 

Let us hope to build on trust.  Like yesterday's post, it isn't just trusting me is it??   There is a plan, and it is a plan that will get done.  What it all entails who knows, but we will learn as this thing goes on. 

So good luck all. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Being running injured right now means I have absolutely no idea what this year holds now.  Oh well. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Sunday, December 30, 2012

From Night To Day.

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Welcome to post #900 of the Wait.  As I was thinking about post #900 last night I had a good many ideas of what I'd write about last night.  Morning for me is different than night.  I have a lot of things I think I'll put in my blog the night before I blog, but it is always the morning that counts. 

So whatever I was thinking last night doesn't matter, because my blog happens now.  When I wake up.  I want to go back to my first post, and see what it is like.  Hold on. 

Well it was nothing that interesting.  It started right up after the Journey though.  Right away.  I knew I did good, and a lot of the, actually all of the doubts and fears were gone.  I did something, actually had something done for me, at the correct time.  It happened at work.  I overcame the 2nd time.  I told no one til quite a lot later on this blog.  You had no idea what was going on with me. 

After 900 posts this thing goes on.  This blog and the other 2 are basically an autobiography of my life.  My little old life.  As far as the World is concerned, I really haven't done much have I??  Who cares what the World thinks.  When we are young, and perhaps older too, we want to do stuff that makes us happy.  What kind of achievements can I do that will make me happy.  I must really have to do some great things huh??

Nope, a happy and content heart is not for you to make, but it is something given, as you go on the road of the story that is you. 

Your story is still to be made. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  back to being running injured.  Limping while working sucks. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya;'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Saturday, December 29, 2012


This post will give me 288 posts this year.  2 days left, so looks like I will be able to hit 290 posts.  Last year was 300.  I am pretty sure the year before that was over 300.  I do this stupid thing a lot huh?? 

What do I think of this blog??  I don't think too much about it to be honest.  I think I reread my posts each day a couple times to try and get some kind of understanding, usually with no success. It is something I do, and you probably get a pretty good look inside my heart as to how I feel, and what I think that day.  Anger, Happy, Excited, Pissed,  whatever.  You probably get to see it. 

Then there is probably the one thing you always wonder.  How is he like that??  Well it is a long story.  It is a tale that has been told on here, and you know I am not who I would be if I didn't go through the things I did in the 90's, and do the thing I have been telling you about on this blog. 

You see I had no vision how things would turn out.  I had no idea.  I was a College Graduate who wanted to live a life that mattered.  I was led on some hard times, and perhaps broken so much in life I made the turn.  I had dreams, and I deemed myself a pretty smart person, once I got my SHIT together.  It takes guys a while to grow up.  Especially fun seeking guys like me.  

So not knowing what was to happen I did that thing.  What happened??   A lot of bad stuff.  If I thought I was broken before the turn.  HA!!   My path was a hard one.  I don't know all the reasons, but it let me be who I am now.  It led me to a good place.  Knowing I still have more to do, doesn't scare me or make me afraid, because I have a bold, and courageous heart.  If things go good with this thing, I like doing it.  When things go bad, it is a struggle, and it just doesn't go so good. 

Today seems like a good day.  I really wish more of you had courage.  I am not a bad guy.  I try to help, and I think I guess life has a lot of decisions.  It is easy to make the best one.  Easy as in you know the best decision, but You are afraid of what is to be asked huh??  Will it interfere with your life??  I cannot answer these questions, but this year is the year of trust.  You get a gift it won't be a snake.  You know??  It will be good, although there may be some of those blessing in disguise things.  I didn't feel all that blessed while I was strapped to the bed in the Hospital waiting for my Death, and waiting to take my place in Hell.  Now that was broken.  That was for others to see though.  Others to get a glimpse of how Life really is.  5 year plans don't take into account the fact you might be dead in two. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Strange day today.  No huge runs planned, and working at 12:00 PM.  I am working in a dept. too where I usually cannot answer the questions asked.  Electrical.   Should be horrible.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D  

Friday, December 28, 2012

What Is This About??

If you could describe what this blog is about what would you say??  Me, this morning, I have no idea.  It goes on though.  On and on. 

Well, whatever.  Yesterday I ran to work.  It probably wasn't the best idea to run to work the way I did, because I had to run with a back pack with my work clothes in.  Considering my injury was probably non-running related, but more of a pinched nerve in my back.  Probably not the smartest.  it went okay though.  Not perfect, but this morning I feel perfect, so I will take the Hopester for a little 3 miler before work.  This weekend will just be a couple shorter runs, and get back in the swing of things next week.  Holidays are over, so I can probably get back into my normal routine. 

My routine isn't that exciting.  My life really isn't either, but mostly my heart is content.  A content heart is a heart that does not wish to strive after wind.  I don't want a Billion Dollars.  I don't need my name in the marquee lights.  I am not out to make the World a better place, because to do that, you would have to change people.  That is where I had to put Ayn Rand down.  Knowing a bit about people, it is impossible for people to agree on anything.  They all believe something or another, even if just Economically.  We all are different though.  With people there is no meeting of the minds. 

Is anyone really right or wrong??  Those with the most amount of hate are probably wrong.  Those who want to see people die and suffer are probably wrong.  Other than that smart people probably have a good amount of logic to how they think, although it does no good to anything anyway.  Just striving after wind...

So yeah, this blog goes on.  It seems it goes better if I can run and train, although it still goes on anyway.

I made a good meal last night.  I had some wine.  I had fun, and laughed and smiled, and went to bed early.  Now I blog.  :)

Now that this blog is over, I am going to take Hope for a run.  Swear at the stupid cat to shut the Fuck up.   I work today, and have zilch planned the rest of the day.  Lisa closes.  I'll make myself something to eat.  Probably have a cocktail or two, and that is it.  I picked up a shift tomorrow too.  12-5:00.   Good paycheck for me.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I think I will play a game of chess before I take the monster Hopester.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Thursday, December 27, 2012

On The Bright Side...

Well, you learn a couple things about yourself, or relearn.  You jump from 30+ miles/week of running to zero for 1-1/2-2weeks, and you change as a person I think.  Your appetite isn't what it used to be, and your days are different.  I noticed the appetite thing yesterday.  I ate a small lunch at 8:00 AM.  I didn't eat anything else til dinner ~6:00.  Lisa and I drove home from work yesterday.  She ate lunch around 2:00.  She then ate dinner with me around 6:00, and she polished off a dessert thingy.  I think she can out eat me if I am not doing my usual running. 

On the bright side of things I have run a pretty good amount up til my little injury.  I took time off from the injury instead of running through it, and I feel I am healthy.  I am going to run to work today, which is my little short little run to make sure everything is okay.  Next week is New Years, which kicks off my official training.

On another bright note, my legs are healthy, fresh, and rested.  Always look positive.  Always look for the blessing in disguise.  One thing about me though is I am always willing to accept if it just isn't meant to be.  I am healthy though.  I am running to work today.  I have the same ole energy, and excitement I usually have, although it might not appear I am always excited.  Not sure.  So that is a good thing.

Anyhoo, not really much else going on.  You know me.  Work, run, come home, and plan the meal of the day.  Life isn't that complicated.   :)   As you go further and further along, those are the best things.  You do what you need to do during the day, and enjoy a nice meal.  We ain't so different from Hobbits you see.  We definitely should look forward to a good meal at the end of the day.  One that makes us merry, and happy.   Life really doesn't offer up anything different than that.  It is a good lesson.

I really have nothing to say, but I can ALWAYS ramble on.   I'll spare you, if you even made it this far.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  A short work week = a good work week for me.  

Love You All!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Heyyyyyyyy,   did you steal my fountainhead pen???    >: /       ;)

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My Lazy Ass Is Going To Bike To Work.

Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  My blog is this crazy ole thing here.  I sometimes chuckle a bit, because sometimes I write something down real quick.  I may be in a good mood, but even still I think it comes out maybe I am in a bad mood.  Not sure. 

Want to know something I thought about this morning??  I am thinking many of you probably on the inside aren't feeling all that great.  It is the path we go on.  A hard path.  One of the crappy part of life.  It is a necessary step, because you have to do some pretty hard stuff to get to the good stuff. 

The desire we have is to show how happy, and how great, and how green our grass is, because that makes it look like we got our shit together.  Life is day after day.  One on top of the other.  The desire of our heart has to be we want to feel good.  We want to be happy.  I am sure you want to be good people.  We also want to have fun. 

I know the direction of your thoughts.  Do you feel you are not getting happier??    Is there someway life may have passed you by?? 

I just had 4 days in a row off of work.  I didn't run at all.  It was always a morning decision.  If I felt pain in my leg from my back thingy I didn't run.  4 days off in a row is not always my favorite thing to do.  I get lazy.  Saturday I got a lot done, but that was it.  Monday and Tuesday I read, and lounged around.  Thought I'd have a couple drinks both days, but wasn't really feeling it.  We watched the 2nd and 3rd LOTR movies. 

I would accept and brace the direction we go in now.  It is going to have some hard days where Life is going to seem like it sucks.  It is a necessary step, and you are going to fail at being you.  All who you want to be, and all how you want to feel is going to be less than you desire. 

I don't offer you Peace on Earth and such things like that, because People are incapable of that.  We are doing a solo walk.  Although many are doing it together.  Things are different.  I am not the same old person you have known for a while.  I expect more from people now, and you will have to be pretty remarkable in your realness. 

To be honest if you are not I may not be all that interested in you.  It is fine if you are not all that interested in me, because I don't care.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  It does feel good to know I will be riding my bike to work.  It is always good to get the HR up, and maybe I will be able to start running again.

 Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D     

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Luckily I Am Up...

Good Morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  My title is just my title, because I work tomorrow.  We stayed up late last night (for me)  watching the 2nd movie of the LOTR, but I am up at 4:00.  I have to work tomorrow, so my sleep isn't all jacked up for tomorrow.  The little things. 

I feel a bit distant these days, and I think I know why.  Life is about doing tough stuff.  Tough as in honest, and open, and truthful.  It is the last thing people want to do, because who wants people to see how weak and miserable we really are?? 

Well no one really.  On a day like this people will tell you they believe something or other, but they only believe words here and there, and the power of themselves.  If they truly believed than they would believe there is a power more than themselves who could make them better people.  The path is much much harder than work toward that, because YOU are not in control. 

Things are not done on your time, and by your will.  So tough stuff has to be done.  A lot of help will needed, because none are strong enough to overcome even ourselves. 

You cannot make a perfect you, and you cannot make a perfect life.  Your whole being is I believe this, whatever that is, and now I'll try my best. 

So on this day as we start out another year, hope and pray for the strength to be honest.  The strength to be open.  Hope for courage to deal with the person that is you.  None of the crap we do now really matters in the grand scheme of things. 

Truth is a bitter sword, and it cuts deep. 

As for me I totally don't give a Shit how fabulous people think they are.  I want to know the other stuff.  How do we get to it?? 

I think you know. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I am making another turkey today.   WOO HOO!!   Lisa and I just do Christmas together.  Nothing special, just hang out basically. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Sorry if I am bah Humbug to you, but I am who I am, and I accept that.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  for Kim G.    ;)    

Monday, December 24, 2012

Bilbo Baggins...

Yeah, I cannot even think of a title, so you know how this blog is going to be.  Nothing about nothing probably. 

I was thinking of some things this morning, and amusingly thought what if I told about that??  I mean I could let you in on some real crazy things, but I keep it to myself.  That being said though I guess I have already let you in on some crazy things. 

I think about my life, and where I am at, I owe no one anything.  I do this thing here freely, because it is in my heart to be this way.  That I can be used before I am made into what I have been waiting for all this time, is really part of the story huh?? 

I am not perfect.  Is that possible??  yup. 

It is like I live in the Garden of Eden.  Unclothed and naked, and not ashamed of my flaws.  How can one be like that you ask??   It is what this whole story has been about anyway.  Strength and truth, and the truth will set you free. 

My Journey was a journey of truth.  It was a long wait from the early 90's til the start up of Heimbleblog.  Those were some crazy times, because I thought my final thing I had to do was sooner rather than later.  Look how long this has been going on since the start of Heimleblog.  How many years ago was that?? 

Time is something we cannot grasp.  Patience is something given, because all the good stuff a person can be really has to be a gift. 

This blog here is real.  It speaks of truth, and honesty, and strength, and trust.  Trust is  a big one, because sometimes that is all you have to hold onto. 

You don't good your way in, you don't "religious" your way in, you don't pay your way in, and there is nothing on this Earth worth anything anyway. 

There is only one way, and it is a way where you do none of the work, but you suffer, and go through some scary things.  Why??  It is the way.  It is all for good too. 

So anyway still a lot to do, and none have done anything yet. 

Today I feel like doing this though... surprisingly. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo';s!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Merry Christmas to you.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D    xoxo   for no reason at all.   :)

Sunday, December 23, 2012

How To Skin A Cat...

Good Morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  As usual, I have nothing to blog about today.  I don't think I will be an ass on here, but you never know. 

I sometimes look back on this thing with wonder.  I mean it is fine that this thing can go on and stuff, but I don't really want to put up with any SHITTY spots.  That makes me angry, and I don't think this thing really needs to be so hard. 

So much to do, and we hide so much.  We want us to look like a nice decorated pretty Christmas tree, although the chances are the tree is not real, and if it is real it is dead.  We decorate ourselves, but we are so much more on the inside.  It will take a bit of courage, and a lot of help to get to it. 

People have so much anger towards things, and why??  

Our lives are not perfect, and we are not perfect.  The bad parts of us, or the parts we wish were better are stronger than you.  You cannot make a better you.  It is not within your power. 

There is a direction things must go.  It is a personal one with you.  A life of your own.  Married or not you stand on your own two feet. 

So much to do. 

I wonder who will make the next step.  I am out of ideas, and I couldn't even guess. 

We shall see I guess. 

I am just here with this thing  to help.  I really can do very little, all the work is done elsewhere, and I just wait and watch and see. 


Saturday, December 22, 2012

No Reason...

I really have no reason to to blog here.  I don't particularly have anything to say at all, but I am up,  I have fingers, and Oh,  loookkeeeeeeee here my coffee just finished. 

Hold on, I will brb...

So anyway, I am not sure if I told you or not, but we bought one of those keurig coffee machines.  They are absolutely perfect for us.  For some reason I basically drink only one cup of coffee each day.  I cut back on my caffeine intake I guess.  Not intended, but just what my body wants.  Keurig machines only make one cup.  Lisa doesn't drink coffee hardly, but she does a chocolatey caffeiney thing, and can bring that to work.  Also it was free too, because we used our free Local Lumberyard Christmas money we get.  Win/Win. 

So things are definitely different with me.  My interests in people have changed.  I want more out of people I guess.  Our tendency is to show how fabulous we are, and I want to know the other stuff. 

What makes you mad??  What makes you angry??  What would you change about your life??  In what ways do you wish you were better?? 

I have said things like strength and trust, and honesty, and things like that.  I have said things like "the turn"  real things.  Things you cannot do, because you still want to make you into whatever.  What is the best you??  What is the best a person can be?? 

So much to do, and so few willing to do what needs to be done. 

Shame Shame.  

My heart is still in the game, although my mind just wants to leave this whole stuff behind.  My mind says screw it, but my heart which is led, and molded by another keeps me in the game. 

So let it be said here and now.  I have failed you.  I have lost faith, and interest, and trust in all of you... besides maybe Doreen.  (She and I have the same sense of humor)    :)  Actually Jeff Stark too, it is nice to have friends who get where you are coming from. 

One still believes in you, and trusts you, and keeps my heart in the game. 

As it is said, there is only one who is good.  It sure ain't you. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  The good thing about not being able to run long today is I have a crap load I need to get done around the house today.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Friday, December 21, 2012

Drifting Away...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I kinda don't feel like blogging today, but guess I will anyway.  Yesterday I could not wake up at all, and didn't blog.  Yesterday was a pretty good day all around.  Good work, made a good meal, had fun.  Same as in every day. 

I  feel I am drifting away from some people, because well, I am going in a certain direction.  With my thoughts, and how I feel.  I am leaving.  People are staying, and it is cool by me.  People who were important to me for a LONG time are staying too, and cool by me.  You stay you are no longer important to me.  The way I am now that would be your loss not mine.  I have been through a lot of hard times.  Hard times to make me learn, and know what I am about and stuff.  So far you people have done little, if not nothing. 

Is there another way???  No!! 

There is only one way, and that is the harsh and bitter truth.  There is nothing you can do to make it any different.  You are not the author of this story, and you are not the puller of the strings.  This way is a hard way, but it is worth everything.   This World is worth nothing. 

I say things like trust, and honesty, and strength are some of the best things in the World.  Those are some of the things that have been given me as I went on and did the tough stuff I had to do.  I did not plan the things I had to do.  The plan came from elsewhere, and even I don't even know the full reasons, and probably lost many lessons along the way. 

I am in good hands though.  The strength I have is a gift. 

Life is hard.  It has some tough lessons, and it takes strength to accept it. 

Good Luck. 

I izzzz outta here.  Time for some coffee, and maybe a game of chess.  I have a 4 day weekend this weekend.  Hopefully I can start running again.  Still got a knot in my back/butt/hip thingy. 

Laterzzzzzzzzz   Gaterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I Slept In...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I slept in today.  I was tired, and not from running.  I took another day off, because it appears my back still hurts.  At least yesterday it did, so we will see how it goes today.  Shooting for running tomorrow night. 

We had our final audit of the year yesterday, and that is a stressful day for me.  It typically ends up being a 10 or 11 hour day for me, and pretty stressful during the audit part. Store did good overall, and I will get my $$$  next month, so that is good. 

Not much really going on besides that. 

This blog goes in many ways.  It is easy going, and sometimes it talks of tough life stuff.  Life has tough stuff.  No reason to sugar coat it. 

I don't apologize too much for how I am, because I do this a lot.  I let you know how I feel, and what I think on many days of my life. 

I stress things like honesty, and being strong, being open, being real.  I say things like trust is one of my favorite things.  I do not say I am always nice, and that I always smile, because that does not go along with being honest.  I guess what I have been saying is you have a dark side.  It is one you don't want people to know about, but it is there.  It is visible.  You may hide it from people, but you cannot hide it.  Showing only the "positive" side to yourself to people is not really a way to making and keeping friends. 

So laugh long, laugh hard, but you will deal with shit.  No escaping it, and if this blog does one thing, it is make you aware of real life.  Also makes you deal with real life.  

I don't apologize for how I am, because...  well I hope you know the reasons.  Been saying it for a while.   :)

I don't throw names on this thing very often anymore, but I know some people who read this read Charisa's blog.  I hope you all notice how strong, and honest she is.  Do you see how confident this person is??  You may thing it is from being talented at what she does, but it actually is dealing with the hard parts of life, and not hiding them. 

She is real, and she is honest, and always searching for the good parts of life, but dealing with the other stuff when it shows up too. 

I respect that. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Been a rough stretch.  Let there be a light day of fun, and sun  errr....  um  fun.    :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Away With You Monday!!

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Had one of those Mondays that really wasn't the best, but that happens.  So much stuff goes on throughout any given day.  I could explain some stuff to you, but it would sound pretty crazy.  I have to deal with a lot of stuff, and the best course for you people is to "talk" with your heart. 

All the philosophical musings from your head are not going to lead you anywhere.   Wanna know why??  In your head is your belief of what is good and right, and how things came to be, and what a good and decent person is, what is a good life.  etc... 

Your heart tells a story about you.  I see guys are in love with their Philosophical musings, and that makes your job HARDER.  Your answers lie in your heart, and you know how your heart is.  It isn't perfect is it??  You cannot lie about it, and you cannot deceive.  Those two things lead nowhere. 

So we will get this thing going now, and I will lead it.  Things have been getting pretty sloppy here, and who are you going to blame??  You didn't listen, you didn't believe.  You made pretty poor decisions when you have been given good information.  We will work with it though, because all is possible.

I will give you some truth about me.  It goes back to Olga.  "I trust you... trust me."  That makes everything Olga does interesting to me.  If you don't have trust, than chances are I may not be too interested in whatever you may do.

Trust is one of the best things in the World, and I am at the stage where there isn't too much in this World I deem worth much.  If you want to do the hard and necessary stuff that needs to be done, then good.  If you just want to continue doing the same 'ol same 'ol.  I am outta here.  I will lose interest in you. 

I ask you to be strong.  Be willing to accept the shitty truths about life.  This isn't for the feint of heart.  Acceptance takes some bracing.  This Shit is not going to be easy, and there is a chance many of you may fall away.  Your choice.  I will let you go, and not have any second thoughts about it. 

So we will get going now.  Either you are with us or not.  Like I said your choice. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Shit just got real.  I am pretty much done fucking around. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 


Monday, December 17, 2012

This Thing Doesn't Work.

I don't really have anything to say today.  I really didn't have anything to say yesterday.  Things are getting strange.  Battling yourself??  I am fabulous somehow.  Let me just prove it??  How are you going to go about that?? 

How are you going to shape the World so you have the best life ever??   How are you going to shape how you feel inside to make sure  you are always happy, and feel content??  What would you have done different from Anne Frank so you didn't have her outcome?? 

I get sick of the shallow minded talk of the Religious right talking about Gun control.  Puhhhleeeezeeee.  Pretty sure if Jesus was here he wouldn't be arguing for Gun rights.  Or War, or how to make any Country better. 

Isn't it time to grow up, and stop holding onto arguments of the foolish??  Don't you want to know higher truths?? 

You are not strong enough to get rid of your hate and anger, and seemingly not strong enough to let go of your shallow lives.  You think you have the answers, or you can find them on your own. 

You cannot.  Quit being stubborn, selfish, and all those types of things.  There is only one way to soften your hard hearts, but you have faith in yourself.  Fine,  I get it, but have you looked inside you??   Do you see what is in there??  I mean the real stuff.  The stuff you show no one, although is still visible?? 

You aren't going to get better.  Probably worse. 

But hey, it is your life.  I think you are foolish to hold onto whatever you are holding onto.  You have a chance to do something very few have done.  You don't want to do it?? 


All we do in life amounts to nothing.  All you have done amounts to nothing. 

I don't really get you people.  Is there someone out there strong enough to actually get this thing moving?? 

I thought for sure it would be Nancy, and/or her sister Olga.  They kinda led this thing the last time. 

We shall see. 

Anyway, we did see the Hobbit yesterday.  I thought it was good.  I didn't know it was going to be a two part movie.  As we sat down, I realized it has been a long time since I read the Hobbit.  I forgot the story.  I remembered a dragon, and Gollum, but pretty sure I forgot everything else.  I may have to re-read it. 

Oh well later all.  :)

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Which Direction Today???

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Perhaps you think after yesterdays events, you would think this blog may talk about that.  Nah.  That stuff unfortunately happens in the World.  Always has always will.  People kill people.  Been doing it for a long time.  Most of the reasons are pretty not very good. 

You will not change that about the World.  This blog is about us.  People on an individual basis.  You know how I operate.  Just because that guy did that I am better than him.  That doesn't count for anything.  Your life is all about you.  That is what the mirror is for. 

I have said before there is a lot to do.  Steps need to be taken on your part.  It will show in you.  That will be when you are your best.  A turn helps bring about a better heart.  Lets face it too, without us getting any better as people our lives are pretty boring, and us as people are pretty boring. 

I ate this, I did that,  blah, blah, blah.  Life is better if we get to the real and better parts of us.  You have an opportunity to do something very few have done.  It is worth everything.  It will open up the World to all kinds of new possibilities for you. 

Isn't that better than living in the confines of the boring old Society we live in now??  Don't you want to make the best life ever?? 

Don't you want to get rid of all your hate and anger?? 

We have a lot to do.  You willing to do it???

We shall see. 

Later all.    xoxoxoxoxo

Friday, December 14, 2012

And On This Week Friday Still Came...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good. I am a runner, and have a poor memory.  That means I may have a horrible run/race, or whatever, and think it was probably the worst thing I have ever done.  The next morning my memory is wiped out, and I think I just had fun the day before.  It is how we roll. 

This week was a tough week for me.  Some things are tough for me.  Internally things may be going bad, and no one will have any idea.  There are definitely two parts to me.  The normal jokey aroundy guy who likes to have fun, and laugh etc..  like everyone.  Also the other side.  The internal side that isn't always jokey and funny, but sometimes has other stuff going on. 

Also you know me.  I have looked at life, and have seen all that it is about.  It is all about the two sides of me.  Joseph Heller, and Howard Zinn.  You will not escape life.  Embrace it for all it is worth.  Hopefully life is full of a lot of Joseph Heller stuff for you, but IT WILL BE full of the Howard Zinn stuff too. 

For those who don't know.  Joseph Heller wrote "Catch-22"   The funniest zaniest book, although about serious subjects like War, and bombing, and killing, and stuff like that.  Howard Zinn wrote "The History of The United States 1492-Present"  That is a real look at our Country.  One the lady who wrote that book on General P. would not have ever written.  It is a serious look at our past.  With all the flaws, and all the sins.  An eye opener. 

Both are true, and both are necessary.  Joseph Heller helps us laugh, and Howard Zinn makes us look.  Joseph Heller helps us cope, and Howard Zinn makes us do the tough, but necessary stuff.  All is about being honest.  Joseph Heller is a gift, because a lot of the life stuff we do is hard, and we all need some easy days. 

So on this week a Friday showed up.  It wasn't my best week, but I am alive.  I get to go to work.  It will be a running weekend, and yeah.  Good things.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)   I AM SO GLAD SHE IS BLOGGING AGAIN.   :D

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   I didn't run yesterday.  Jerry cancelled, and my hip has been bothering me.  I think I'll take the Hopester for a 'lil 3 miler before work.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D     One little gesture from a girl half my age that will stand the test of time.  :D   Trust is definitely one of the best things in the World.  Money is made of paper, and stuff, who makes trust??  Who shapes and molds our hearts???

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo    MWAH!!!!    :)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Little Voice...

Good Morning all.  I took a couple days off from blogging, because this thing was going SOUTH, and going south fast.  Many ideas about that, but I will keep them to myself.  I guess I had some important posts, and probably posts that EVERYONE wanted to not see.  The same 'ol that cannot be can it?? 

So on we go.  I probably would have taken today off too, but someone heard a little voice.  This someone decided to start blogging again, and to be honest, that put me in a good mood.  To me it seems weird that just cause this person started blogging again, I was put in a better mood.  Then again there is a History.  A strange History probably, because when you get a look at it through normal'ish eyes it is Strange.

Why is she so important??  I think as people get older their minds get filled with more and more crap.  News, Newspapers, one-sided opinions, propaganda, advertising, not to mention poisonous Shit we all grow up with anyway.  I think this person probably has less of that than anyone.  She gets, angry, and mad, and gets mad at herself, but she is strong, and honest, and probably has more questions than answers.  It is the parts of us that are confusing, and things we have questions about that make us the better people, if we are honest about them, and open with them. 

Perhaps people are still looking for heroes and stuff, and guess what??  They are not there.  I don't believe in a look up to this person, because they did this or that.  The History of life is a History of SHIT.  Life isn't any better than it used to be, it is just hidden behind Society as it always has. 

People are still dependent on "how it has always been"   at least for us that "always" amounts to probably 20 years or so. 

It seems people are looking for Angels and Saints, and the better people out there to try and emulate.  In this World we all stand alone.  They are not there.   We are all pretty unspectacular.  Truth and Honesty is some hard hard shit.  There is security in numbers and following the pied piper I guess, but the journey is one where you are strong, and stand on your own two feet. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)   xoxo

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   Skipped my run last night, because of the late start, and I was a little sore from Tuesdays run.  Miles catching up, and we may have gone fast on Tuesday.  Jerry was de-stressing I thnk.  :)  It wasn't a hard run though, and I am faster now.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Monday, December 10, 2012

That Monday Blogging Feeling.

You know how I operate don't you Steve P??  You like doing this a lot, and sometimes you feel it is such a waste of FUCKING time.  That Monday blogging feeling??  I am writing this blog to myself, because I know I will read it.   :)

Hold on I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb...

Early morning Hope always thinks I MAY take him for a run, so she gets up with me.  :)

Anyhoo, not a lot going on with me, as usual.  I got my double up on 9 milers in yesterday.  3 with the Hopester, and another 6 with Jerry and his nephew.  Pretty good run.  I feel like I am in shape... or at least getting in shape.  For my blowing off Wednesday and Thursday, but running on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I still ended up with 28 miles I think, so pretty much where I want to be.  The 37 the week before was probably a little much for December, because I walk ~20-30 miles on concrete on top of that.  Walking ain't much, but it is something.  Something I definitely take into account, but that comes with experience, and knowing myself etc...  I am not one of those lucky runners who never gets injured.  I keep at it though, and I keep coming back.  It is a good feeling to be getting in shape though.  To be able to run when it is not hard.  ahhhhhhh.  

Anyway it is Monday.  My day off from running, but I am going to ride my bike to work and back.  The little thing that helps me get better.  Transportation as a form of exercise.  Kinda makes the car and airplanes like the worst invention huh??  Cars made us fat, and planes helped us learn how to bomb cities and civilians.  

But hey,  I live in the real World. 

cya.  :)

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Lighten Up Francis...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I use the title Lighten Up Francis, because it seems this thing is always so serious these days.  Life is serious, I mean really.  Live, do whatever, and then we die.  Hopefully we don't get tangled up in some kind of Anne Frank type of thing, because that would suck.  Hopefully we are healthy, don't have an eating disorder, and plagued by who knows what?? 

Shit we should lighten up.  The World sucks.  :)

I thought I'd do a list of some positive things.  I don't have a number attached at the beginning, I will just go until I am done. 

That is it for....   j/k  ;)

  1. I am pretty sure I weigh less this year, than I did last year.  I think my jeans are looser.  
  2. I am definitely running more this year than last.  
  3. I like my life, and I love waking up feeling like this.  
  4. I have been paying more attention to Baseball off season this year, cuz I think the SOX will be good.  
  5. The Bulls are playing pretty well without Rose so far.  Doing what they need to do.  Stay in the playoff hunt.  
  6. Bears are still a wait and see.  Injuries are piling up, but not as bad as last year.  
  7. Big 10 sucked in Football this year, but look to be the dominant league in Basketball.  I may watch some games.   :)
  8. Life is confusing, but I have gone through the confusing part, and am past it.  
  9. I blog almost every day, but I think I am the only one who reads it every day.   :)
  10. I am up early today, which means I will be able to double up on 9 mile runs this weekend.  
  11. I look at all things that happen, and in my heart I am able to turn it into a positive.  :D  
  12. I may see a movie today.  Depends on how Lisa feels. 
  13. I will definitely play some computer chess.  :)
  14. Good Enough.  

Have a Great day all.   :)   xoxoxoxo    :D   :D 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Solo Run...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I don't think I told you, but our Malibu took a SHIT, so we are down to our truck.  We will get a "new for us" car in February.  I will be running solo today, because Lisa works at 8:00.  I will either have to drive her there if I want the vehicle. I'll decide that later, but since there is one vehicle, I'll have to run around here.  No biggie. 

Hold on, I am going to get some coffee, and I will BRB...

Want to know one of the lessons that is a hard one??  What is important??  What are the things that you do that are of value??  It is not really all you think it is.  Some of the things you spend a lot of time on, and sacrifice a lot to do, probably in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. 

We want to make our mark in this World huh??  Show people I am important.  Something as simple as that we don't know the best way.  The things you think are probably impossible aren't. 

I know the direction this thing will go, and it will show up in how you write.  You may or may not even notice the change in you, but I will.  You will open up. 

All the strength and courage you need will be given you.  I'd say we are at an important stage.  I know you want to somehow make you the best person ever, but you know you.  You know you aren't that.  None of us are.  All your life is wide open, and you will see you, and you cannot fake toughness behind some type of race or work out.  That counts for nothing.  That part of your life really gets you zero points. 

The game is different now.  It is serious, and it is important.  

Time to get this thing moving I think.  We need to stop running in place.  It is a race, and this one is the most important one you will ever run.  You will win if you decide to race it, but it will be hard.  It won't be easy, but it will be worth everything. 

Truth courage strength, wisdom.  What else would you want??  Those are some of the best things in the World, and I think worth everything.  Don't you?? 

Later all.  

Have a Fab one.   :D  


Friday, December 7, 2012

One Week From The Next...

Last week was this great week.  I got all my runs in +.  This week not so good.  Wednesday wasn't a big deal, because it isn't an important day.  Thursday is a big deal, because I called Jerry on Wed.  I told him hey let's do 8 or 9 miles.  After work, I called Jerry, and said something came up, and I cannot run.  The something that came up??  I didn't want to run.  One of those days I guess. 

Having said that though, I did see a guy running in the morning on my way to work.  Who runs at 4:30 AM???   besides me sometimes??  I love running in the morning, and I plan on doing that today.  :)  Before work.  A Loss here and a gain there. 

Life gets in the way of things sometimes, and you know what really happened??  All kinds of things, but my heart wasn't into it.  I thought well, I can do a quick run around my house instead.  As the day went on, and on, I realized that was a force job.  I did not want to run.  I just wanted to get a couple things done around the house, and relax.  That is what I did too. 

Do you ever listen to what you want to do??  What are things you want to do, as opposed to force yourself to do.  It is Okay for me to listen to myself once in a while, because I always come back.  I always get up right?? 

Yesterday was one of those posts I don't particularly like writing.  There is a lot of stuff in my head that I know, and a lot of it I don't really want to share.  It is good enough to know my thoughts, and things I see can be seen.  I am open.  For all the bad things that can happen, and all the hard days I endured, it is comforting being as I am. 

Why my path had to be so hard, I don't know.  It is like a race though.  You know how it has hard parts, and you suffer etc...  While you are doing it you probably think this sucks.  Worst thing ever.  Why do I do this??  Afterwards you feel great.  At the end of the race everything seems so fun and easy right??  It is kinda where I am right now.  I forgot how hard the race was, but  mostly just have fun now.  There are hard steps though, and that is where trust comes in, because There is a guider, and a teacher, and a helper, and all these things.  Willing to do everything for you.  If you let him.  There is a lot to do too.  The one who can change hearts can lead you on the path you must go. 

With that I will finish my coffee, and get a little 4 mile run in before work.  Is there anything better???

I think not. 

Have a great one all.  Happy Weekend to all.  :)


Thursday, December 6, 2012

OMG Yesterday Was The Most Fantastic...

Ehhhh, not really.  Yesterday was just another day.  I have analyzed the ins and outs, and it appears I have done nothing that will get my name in the History Books.  Who would write it anyway??  I wonder if I could find someone to write something favorable the way that General P. did.   :)  That seems like it would be an objective viewpoint.  I'd never read that trash anyway. 

It was just another day like I said.  I worked around 9 hours.  I rode my bike to work, and Lisa and I were going to run an errand after work, but she got sick.  She went to Walgreens to pick up something or other, and I decided to be lazy, because she was going to be couch ridden.   I was lazy too.  I didn't do a damn thing.  I thought earlier in the day I'd get a little run in, but blew that off, and just chilled.  We watched the Food shows.  Those are so good.   :) 

I was going to cook dinner, but Lisa didn't want what I was going to make, so we ordered Pizza.  Now that tasted fricken good.  Haven't ordered from the place in a while.  I had a couple drinks.  I fell asleep early.  Lisa woke me up from a coma to take the dogs out.  I was coma irritable, and finally went to bed.  Now I am up early to do this thing. 

Yesterday was a big one I bet.  For all the pulling this blog has done, I think yesterday just knocked it out of the park.  Does it paint you in a corner??  Sure does.  The Sword is very black and white.  To find color there are some steps that need to be made.  Who knew it all came to trust.  I think back to my promise a long time ago.  The promise I would be saved out of any predicament I got myself in.  It really was a night of battle, although I didn't know it.  I was going to go in for a promotion.  It would set myself up perfectly in my eyes.  I was on my way to what I viewed would be a perfect life.  I prayed I want I want I want, But Your Will, not mine.  (The Battle was your Will not mine--HARD)   I was told to go into the interview and withdraw my name.  It was the wee hours this was happening, and I just prayed let me have courage.  I walked into the interview, shaking and nervous, and knowing I was to sound foolish.  I told them what I was told to do, and left.  I felt foolish, and ashamed, because I knew what those people thought.  Things like that don't happen do they?? 

I was obedient there, and I was obedient outside the garbage room at the Hospital.  Thus started the Summer of my Discontent.  Very little of that Summer was even important.  I knew the consequences of being disobedient.  There is one who lies, and would have you do this do that, or else.  He plays God.  He is the Father Of Lies, and it is He I had to overcome 3 times.  I have done it twice, and the 3rd is my final one.  I know how it goes, because there was a precursor.  I go on to do my thing, and he leaves me.  He is unwilling to go where the one who overcame went.  I made a lot of necessary steps.  Like the If I am destined to go to Hell, let me accept it as that which I deserve.  I am destined there, because I have to follow the one who overcame, because that is what I knew since the early 90's. 

The Math of the story is not favorable.  The Math Society, and Man would have you believe is favorable.  I say don't put your trust in Society and Man.  There is a Higher Knowledge and a Higher Wisdom that cannot be attained by man.  Gravity holds our thoughts down to the here and now seemingly. 

It has been a long journey, and it continues, and my heart has been blessed with the energy of several oxen.  You don't even want to know what that means. 

I have a crazy, but true story.  Most of it has been hidden for all these years, but there is one who knows my story.  One who lights my path.  When in life I get no support, I have all the support I need.  It is within me.

Oh, and when I go do my final thing, and The Worst of the Worst leaves me.  He will go somewhere.  He will still be here.  He is trapped now, but he can still do some crap.

Light is truth, and darkness is lies.  Strength is truth, and Strength is sometimes embarrassing, sometimes we feel weak, because all of us if we were to put ourselves up for judgement.  All that we have done, and continue to do, we'd fail.

Holy Crap is this a doozie, but whatevs.  truth is truth, even if it is scary, and well... scary.  None have actually done anything yet.

Good Luck.

Sorry, I had to write this big of one.  I don't like to.  I wish things could be easier, but you know this hard stuff here?  It does make us stronger.  Weeds out a bunch of crap you hold onto, and makes things easier in the long run.  We do hold onto a bunch of crap huh??  If I do this, and that, and this and that.  It is enough to tire a person out huh??  Rest comes when we let one do the work we are unable to do.

"Those who loved me are those who have done what I said."  The truth of obedience.  Faith is reckoned as what anyone???   Not your work.  The work I have done has been done for me.  I have done what I was told, and when I realized I cannot do anything without help I was saved from my miserable little self with power none can perceive.  I have continued doing this since.

Later all.   

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Plan Of Ours...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing Okay I guess.  I am sensing one of those wait and see things going on.  You know how you make your plans, and hopefully have all your ducks in a row with your life, and everything is scheduled to the last minute??  Well, that is probably the best you can do for yourself in a World where that doesn't really count for anything. 

I believe in a plan, and one that is not of my making, because that really is what my life has been all about.  I did the other stuff before, and it really amounted to nothing.  When you live a life, and believe in all the fairy tales we have been sold down the line, it takes an Education in life to open you eyes to what life is really about. 

The lessons of life are hard lessons.  It takes a good eye, and it takes a strong heart, because you have to believe what you see, and you have to be willing to accept the tough stuff.  It really is all about plans too huh??  Trust and plans.  Do you trust you more to make a better plan than a plan made when taking a turn?? 

Tough stuff huh??  I want I want I want.  I am here to tell you You do want this.  I know it has been hard, because this blog has been going and going and going.  Quite a bit of it is been in the pulling direction.  It is hard too to probably get your head around everything, and all the lessons, and all the knowledge will be given to you. 

Some of my lessons were really really crazy crazy. and that was mostly to show me how really small and insignificant I really am.   I am cool with that.  Have been for always.  Always willing to believe the worst in myself if it was the truth.  The hardest things I have done though were really done for me.  I was taken over, to say and do the right things. 

As you stand now you see, and understand an element size of all that can be done.  Trust me, you want to see a World where everything is possible.  I know how this thing will go.  The final play so to speak.  It is a final, and a beginning.  It is the thing I searched for since the early 90's.  It was a thing denied then, because there was other stuff to do.  It was a thing denied 3 times again??   Yes 3 times.  It was denied, because this blog is "The Wait"  A heart content, is a patient heart, and patience, one of the building blocks, is definitely one of the things I have been given.  :)

We got to run early last night.  I am sure Jerry would have run 15 miles if I was up for it, but I pretty much doubled my mileage last week from the week before, so we did a 6.2 mile route around my house.  It is still December you know, and I'd like to stay healthy. 

My life, and what this means is this here.  My role in this whole thing is to help.  I try as best I can.  I need you people to be STRONG, and remain STRONG.  It works better that way, and it is easier for all involved.  It is going to be hard enough as it is anyway.  A life's journey is not an easy thing.  We have a lot to do, and not everything will be easy. 

xoxo.   :) 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Time For Some Coffee...

Good Morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  You never know what can happen in a day, at least I don't.  I said a lot yesterday, and really it wasn't my intention.  I explain myself, and who I am, and what my life has been like.  What happens day to day, and what has happened in the past.  I left a story of my life for those who would be interested in such things. 

It isn't anything that particularly great is it??  I have done some things, that none can comprehend probably.  You know when I say if there is some reason I am here, let me do that instead of anything else?  That is what I call the turn.  What I have done is not my job, and not my career, and not my hobby, BUT a bunch of other things.  A lot of the things were pretty dang hard too.   I mean I had to do some things I wouldn't want anyone to do.  It was my path though.  One I said I'd do, even though I had no idea what it was. 

I was led to a path of suffering.  One of Being judged.  I lived a life of the utmost simplicity in my Summer of Discontent.  Wake, walk, work, walk, and eat maybe once every two days.  None of it meant nothing.  Some nights I saw some crazy ass things, and some things you cannot fathom or imagine. 

I don't know why the Summer of Discontent.  I know the walking didn't matter, because the energy was a gift.  I was told that.  Why I don't ask.  I never really cared to be honest.  I did what I was led to do.  Saved from judgement, and moved on.  I never gave up at all, and then I was taken to my breaking point.  My breaking point coincided with how I felt on the inside.  I could not go back there.  Cannot do it.  My heart was taken that night, and now it is in good hands.  That is why this blog was going in such a way the last couple years, because my heart was in good hands. 

You see how hard it is to be faithful??  See how hard it is to believe what you are told??  See how hard it is to be obedient?? 

But by the grace of God huh???

None deserve nothing.  All is a gift, you haven't worked your way toward anything but dead ends anyway. 

The way out is not of your doing.  None of your work means squat.  The lessons you have been taught by society, and upbringing and stuff, are trumped by one who is smarter, and knows more. 

You trust yourself though huh?? 

You would have nailed an innocent man to the cross.  You didn't believe...


Monday, December 3, 2012

I Slept In A Bit...

Morning all.  I slept in a bit this morning, and am running a little late.  I still have time for a cup of coffee though...

So this blog has made a turn over the past couple days huh??  All that I tried to build in the last couple years??  Not sure how long, I let go. 

What does it mean??  I don't know.  I just don't think the blog was working too well.  So on we go. 

How and what this year will look like I have no idea.  We will see.  If I let go though, that means your eyes will need to be open, because it isn't me who needs to find my way back.  I am still here, and I continue to do this thing, for whatever reason. 

With that in mind, I had a pretty good run in yesterday.  The first couple miles with the Hopester was pretty difficult.  Legs were a bit toast.  The six miler seemed hard too.  I felt I was breathing hard the most time, but felt great going up the hills.  Jerry and I threw a bit of a fartlek at the end though, and my tired legs could still run. 

That was good.  The Bears suck!!

Later.   :)

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Football Sunday

Morning all, how's it going?/  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb.  

Okay, I hazzz coffee, and I am back like I promised.  Not much going on with me.  I am slowly slowly getting into shape.  I got a 9 miler in yesterday, and Jim added his fartlek at the end, and I was able to hang with him.  Also the plan is for me to get another 9 miler in this morning, so that will  put me at 37 miles for the week.  Not too shabby. 

I also have pretty much decided to do the Lansing Marathon.  That is like April 21 or so.  I got a new pair of running shoes yesterday too.  Most times I get Asics 2100 series, and that is what I went with this time. 

I am up early this morning, and don't really have much to blog about.  I wonder why that is.  Are things getting strange again??  I know for the longest time I had this signature line, and to me it seems stupid now.  What does it do?? 

I do know I guess it was my way to say you were important.  I just realized the other day too on Olga's post.  She had a carrot cake she was making.  I hate food blogs.  BORING typically.  I could give a CRAP what people eat.  To me it was interesting.  You know why??  It was Olga.  See how far trust goes??  Olga can do anything, and I will be interested, because  it is Olga. 

I think in life there is a tendency to want people to think we got our SHIT together.  We know our path and we know what we are doing.  I am steering you in a different direction.  You don't know your path, and you don't know your outcome. 

Life is hard, and life has a lot of questions, and there are a million and a half forks in the road every day seemingly.  Not for me.  There are no forks, just living, and being, because I have done all the hard stuff already.  There is one other thing I must do, but that is later. 

I don't know what is going on with many of you.  I know you are being led in a direction with your heart, and you are battling yourself.  Trust is hard huh??  You are being taught, and being led, but the things we "THINK" we want and need really have a powerful hold on us huh?? 

The thing is it seems like such a hard thing to do, and from here it really isn't. 

I ask you to trust, and don't be so afraid of who you are, and what people will think.  The strong ones are open, and we ALL can relate to people who aren't perfect.  Who wants to show our weak and crappy side??  None, but that is our best side when we have the strength to show. 

Good luck.  Life is a journey, and you people seem scared, and stuff.  Means you probably have stuff to deal with huh?? 

Life is too short to hide in a corner.   :)   even if you are a Marvel comic.   Corner Man.   :)

Later all.  have fun, and I love Olga.   :D   

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Fridays Kinda Suck...

You know for me Fridays kinda suck.  I like the Friday workday probably the best, because I do projects.  What to do after??  You know my goal is always to get to bed early.  Normally I'd have a few drinks, and crash early.  Mostly so I can get up early, do this and run. 

Lisa didn't close last night so we went out to lunch.  She came home and napped.  I probably could have too, because I was tired.  I did what I do on a Friday.  Had a couple  errr, perhaps a couple more than a couple drinks and crashed early.  I know you are thinking get a hobby right??  Maybe my Friday afternoon drinks are my hobby.  Is there something better to do??  YES, of course, but you know me, I am not the most disciplined person out there. 

Anyhoooo, that is neither here nor there.  I do what I do, and you know me.  You know what I am about, what this is about, and slowly but surely I get to know what you are about.  We are more than our careers, hobbies, and other day to day stuff huh?? 

Within us all are other parts of our lives, and I guess we don't always share that stuff huh??  Somehow someway you are slowly slowly slowly looking at all the parts of you.  These little things all amount to little snowflakes, because none are alike.  None of us are alike, and all the little parts of us are not like any others. 

The World is a better place when we all get to the point where the person we most want to be in the World is us. 

Have a good one all.  I have a lot of things to do this weekend.  Supposed to be nice weather, so good weekend to do it. 

Later.  :)