Thursday, March 31, 2011

That Fucking Asshole!!!! :)

It is the little things.  I had nothing.  I took damn near everyone off my RHS, because I was fucking pissed.  A get a little update from Panders, which is just great.  Nothing major, just the little shit.  A Facebook update from Greg Ellis, Brian's friend from Hawaii.  He says even though it is April it feels like summer already.  Ha ha Ha.  What a prick.  It has been cold as hell every morning so far this week, and I am fucking sick of it. 

I cannot run.  I have what feels like a pinched nerve in my hip area.  It seems like it is probably getting better, as the pain seems to be coming to the surface.  You know how runners are, we run and run and run, bury the pain, until it is all fucked up.  I am not doing that.  I don't have any money for any of that ART shit, or whatever you crazy fuckers do.  Fuck, I don't even have health insurance.  Save the $$$ where I can.  I'd rather give my money to all the fucking wars we start anyway... not. 

Work is going good, and I guess that is about it.

Fuck You all in a I love you kind of waY.   :)

THanKs fOr REadInG!!!!  :)

p.s.  I re-read what I wrote.  Life is a race, did you notice that??  You run and run and run and bury the pain til it is all fucked up.  Cut that shit out.  Stupid fuckers. 

If you blog, and post it to FB, I will see it.  :)   btw.  I guess I'll have to find a way to re-build my rhs. Wish me luck.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D  :D

Monday, March 28, 2011

Something New

I think I have retired from running races.  It happened last night.  I told Lisa.  I really have no goals in running.  I have completed 5 marathons, and that is good enough for me.  You wonder what am I going to pass the time with??  Good question.  I think I may still do biking, and I may run here and there, but not really sure if I want to do any races.  You know how I am too, I like spending time with my wife.  Never been an issue for me.  I may read more, not really sure.

You want to know what did it for me??  I was going to go on a semi long run on Saturday.  I quit after running 10 minutes, because it was boring.  I am also battling a bit of an injury too, which is annoying.  You know what is exciting??  Not sure what I will be spending my time doing.  Stuff around the house??  I have just opened up a whole new world, just not sure what that world is. 

I almost undid my twitterfeed to FB too.  You want to know why??  For fear of shoving this thing down people's faces.  People can choose to do what they want though right??  Jen Gray's goes to her FB, so I have no problem following her.  She is Jen Gray after all, and people can read or not.  I could care less. 

I do want to explain something, because sometimes people don't understand.  When I put a title like I love Doreen.  I tell Lisa.  She gets it.  She isn't jealous or anything like that.  I don't know if that is an issue for anyone.  Maybe... perhaps. 

I tell Lisa stuff.  Things I think are weird.  I share different stuff with her, than I do with you. 

This is a horrible update I know.  I'll tell you something though.  I almost don't want to update. 

That is it for today!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

That is all I got.  :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day Off!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I Love Doreen!!

and Jules of course.  I know I know this is supposed to be about Johnny's fight, but I gotsta keep Doreen interested.  :)  2nd time I used this title btw.  I never even used the title I love me before.  :)  lol.

Anyhoodle It was a great night last night.  So great I am going to skip running with the group today and sleep.  :)  I'll still get my run in, but may go with Jerry tomorrow.  Always a way to get the long run in.  I am tired too.  :)  Going back to bed after this is done. 

So Johnny won his fight.  There is a great video on FB of the fight, but I cannot share it.  #boooooo.  It doesn't have the share thing, and I am not friends with the person.  It really was pretty easy seeming.  Johnny knocked the dude out 3 times in the 2nd round.  The guy was no slouch either.  You can tell he put his time in the gym.  He was in good shape, and I don't think he really lost his legs, like guys in the other bouts. 

Like I said he is mild mannered.  After each knockdown, even though it was his home town he walked to the opposite corner.  Wasn't wooping up the crowd like a rock star.  Quietly going about his business.  This is his job, and he takes it serious.  He is motivated, has fun, and is always always training.  Always working out.  If he doesn't have an upcoming fight scheduled he is probably eating McDonalds breakfast too.  :)   lol. 

So anyway all of us at work are proud of him.  All the other people have seen his fights before.  Like Tony's wife Tracy said I was a boxing virgin, but now I am not.  It is a hard sport, and the first thing to go for those not in shape are the legs.  Who boxes without getting in shape??  some guys do, trust me.  :) 

I guess that is it for today!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I am really tired, so going to have to skip the rest.  sorry.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   to you  allllllllz   especially Doreen.  :)   I wikes her.  :)  I'll check out the other updates in my reader when I wake up next too.  If interested.  :)

oops  almost forgot these.   xxxxxxxx    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D   :D 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Any Which Way!!

That is the direction of this post.  I think I have a lot to get through, but who knows.  Lemme get some coffee, and I'll meet you back here in a minute or so okay??   :)

First off I should mention it is fight night tonight.  I will be watching my very first professional boxing match.  Holland's very own Johnny Garcia Is the main event.  Yesterday was his weigh in, and I asked him some questions about that.  Have you ever seen a weigh in??  The guys are always trying to stare the other guy down to intimidate them.  I can't picture Johnny doing that.  I told him don't smile at the weigh down.  He is a fighter and a boxer, but when he takes his Superman cape off he is a mild mannered dude.  He'll give you shit once in a while, but pretty soft spoken.  Me picturing him on the stare down cracks me up.  That should be pretty exciting.  He, as you may remember, is very light on his feet.  Anyway that should be fun.  :)  It will be a late night for me, and I am running long tomorrow.  I may blog later than normal tomorrow or take the day off.  It will probably be mostly about Johnny's fight anyway.  Unless you'd rather hear what I did at work?  :)   j/k. 

Yesterday was track work, and we did Yasso's.  I ended up doing 8 of them with a 400M active recovery.  I was trying to hit 3:45s, but the wind had my times all over the place.  There was a stiff breeze going against us on one of the long parts of the track, and that had my times going everywhere.  I didn't feel I was 3:30-3:35 fast so I just left it at 3:45s.  I didn't even hit those all the time.  I was anywhere from 3:41-3:51.  No rhyme no reason, all wind.  I felt I maintained a consistent effort, so good enough.  I needed to get a ride home due to poopy issues.  :)  

Well here is something I thought about yesterday.  I have been reading some bloggers so long I forgot stuff about them already.  When reading Jessica's sight yesterday it struck me as kinda strange.  She said she was switching from being a vegetarian to non-vegeterian.  I forgot.  I forgot she was an atheist too.  Anyway what it makes me think about is we all change.  Our thoughts our interests.  We take different avenues to see where they may lead.  Try this one for a while, see where it goes, and try another one for a while, and see where that goes.  You know where every direction leads???  Any turn you make leads to a better understanding of you.   You are free in all your choices, because what you are really doing is finding out about yourself.  You are being you. 

Whether you are a blogger or not it don't matter, because all journey's really are personal.  The bloggers just may share more parts than others.  They are still personal ones.  So this is going to be an exciting season for all kinds of reasons. 

Do you ever just think back about a person and think.... sheesh.  I have been reading them a long time.  :)   I don't often really, but I did yesterday.  I do believe I have littered the internets with my comments.  :)   lol

I guess that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s.  3 of my 4 final 4 teams are out.   ooooopssssss!!!!   :)  Also it was great to see a certain Jen G. in such a great mood yesterday.  :)   Did you know she lived next door to my H.S. girlfriend Carolynn??  She told me that a while ago.  I never knew before that.  You know Jen G. stems from Steve R's thing.  I talked to a lot of people there.  What a great visitation that was.  I haven't forgotten any of the people I talked to.  Yeah I talked to Gina for 1000 hours.  She hugged some dude thinking it was me.  :)   lol.  I talked to Tammy S.  too, and I think that was the first time we ever talked.  She was a couple years younger than me.  I talked to Joe Stacey, and John Miller, and Nino.  Wow!!   saw a lot of people there.  Oh yeah Lois too, and Faith.  Sheesh.  Those kinds of things bring people together huh.  You totally know Kim Sheridan was there too, just not in person.  Boy we all have journeyed long and far over the last couple of years. 

anyway... long p.s. 

Love You All!!!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You allz is the bestestestest.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

these here   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope everyone has a Great day!!!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D    :D  

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Heavy Heart

Sometimes when I do what I do.  Especially on a long bike ride, I wonder, and I think about things.  Like let's just talk about a couple summers ago.  What the heck was that about??  Do you remember about Lisa's side of the family?  Lisa's Aunt Myrna's husband died.  I went to the visitation thingy, and I thought about the guy who died, and others were talking about who still had jobs and stuff.  At the funeral Barbara and I decided to be FB friends.  We actually became pretty good friends for a bit too.  What is up with that?  We were not alike at all.  As a matter of fact Cathy and I were probably the more alike.  The type to let our hair down and get wild once in a while.  We even did a little cook out too with Myrna and Cathy, and I helped Myrna with some things around the house.  You know after Heimleblog I thought they hated me.  We saw Myrna once this summer in Saugatuck.  I asked how Olivia was doing, and Myrna had tears.  She brushed them away and left.  Cathy even sent us a picture of her kids when she moved.  What a different time that was.  You know there was that time when Lisa and Brian were in contact with that side of the family, and it was 2 summers ago.  Now do they have any contact??  I don't know about Brian, but on this side no.  none at all.  I mourned Dean's death twice for Barbara.  Twice.  Once at work too.  Want to know what I felt??  I felt I could almost be sooooo sad I could die.  I didn't want Barbara to ever ever ever have to feel that kind of sadness over her Father's death.  I didn't even know her father.  Barbara didn't either.  Perhaps that is the  sad part.  I heard Cathy cry at Dean's funeral, and I think that is because she knew her new born would never meet his or her Grandpa.  She may have still been pregnant at the time.

I don't think about those times much anymore.  What are them 3 up to??  No idea.  Let's talk about long bike ride through Saugatuck.  Never far from Myrna's Michigan house.  Steve Rose's dad lives somewhere there too.  The most I think about Steve Rose now is his sister Beth.  She has a great picture of Steve and her when they were younger.  I feel there is still some stuff to deal with.  She is a busy lady with two young boys, and a husband, and it seems she stays active with school musicals or something.

Anyway this is the shit life is made up of.  All kinds of things happen in life.  Life is more than breaking 22:00 in a 5K or getting a 3:30-something in a marathon.  It seems maybe perhaps some people train to not think about things, but others like a Beth Rose Mickel, and a Jen Gray, and a Mindee Elam do what they do, but still look at the other stuff.  You are being shown stuff too.  Keep your eyes open like these 3 do.  You will have great days like these 3 do, but keep the eyes open to the other stuff too.  Why??  I do not know why it is like this.  It is though.  It is a lot easier to deal with our sadness though isn't it, than to show our short-comings?  Maybe that is what it is about.  Maybe we have an easier journey to show our sadness so we don't have to show our flaws.  Sadness brings about compassion, and it says I desire compassion not sacrifice.  So maybe that is why.

Anyway, that is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. Western Conference Hockey is insannnnneeeeeeeeee!!!    exciting though.

Muchos respecto to Jen Gray, Beth Rose Mickel, and Mindee Elam.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Love you All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

hidden ones.     :)

these   xxxxxxxxxxxxx

for the rest of you too.    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D    :D

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Penny For Your Thoughts... :)

First off I guess I should mention a couple changes I made.  One is just a couple people were not ready, so took them off.  No biggie, when I go through a period like I did when I got rid of twitter for a while, some things may not seem to end well, but all happens for good.  I made a change this week too, and that was just because issues outside of my control.  I don't want to end up in that hornets nest, so I just left.  I'll let that shit take care of itself. 

So my year goals as far as this thing goes has been a fail of sorts.  All in all though, I think things are going pretty good.  Here is something that gets me.  I was talking to Selena, and Cory at work.  Selena asked me if I pissed anyone off recently??  I was like "huh"?  She said she reads some of my posts, like the one where I said I didn't like kids, and then had to clarify by saying I never wanted to be a father, so I don't like kids as in me being a father.  I throw my shit out there, and it really is my thoughts.   A lot about my life, and I don't want people to think it is about them.  That is the scary thing about doing this.  I mean by what I can tell, I do piss people off, and I don't mean to.

We also talked of Lisa's brother Brian.  I told them what he told me.  When he was in his final year living in Michigan he said it was either come out of the closet or kill himself.  I mean Sheesh!!  It is funny after the hospital, while Natalie was in Denmark, I hung out with her twin sister Alyssia.  They were like the O'Tooles not look alike kinds, but close.  Alyssia was really outgoing and funny.  She had a bunch of gay friends, and hung out at the gay bar quite a bit.  I think it was this time hanging out with Alyssia and her gay friends, that helped me be more comfortable around gay people.  One time Hal and I even went to the gay bar, just being kinda weirdos.  You know to ask the women to dance.  :)   lol.  Not much success that night.  :)  lol. 

I felt comfortable with Brian when he came out, and I felt comfortable with my ex-neighbor Rick.  We were like best friends while he was here.  He got to know a bunch of my other friends too.  We were all cool with that.  Anyway the point I wanted to make about Brian was, can you imagine growing up, expected to be some way, but always looking at your sisters George Michael posters??  That was his dilemma.  You fight and battle that shit, but you lose.  I imagine that is why many priests went into the priest hood.  The scandals lead proof to that.  It is easy to judge the gay people I guess, but what are the straight guys looking at on the internet??  So you see it isn't being right that matters.  You remember me and my Journey.  I wanted nothing more to be right, because I was fricken scared.  He wanted me to be faithful.  You wanna know what???  I don't even feel I was that.  I think he saved me in spite of myself, because so much stuff can overpower me.  There is one who overcame all, and that is what he does.  I have a lot of crazy sounding stuff I haven't even told you.  Like I said though, haven't stayed in the belly of a whale for 3 days. 

Oh also wanted to clarify some things.  When I say stand naked, I mean spiritually.  I mean being totally open, allowing everything to be seen.  You know what I mean??  Maybe that is hard to understand.  The night my heart was taken, it was my spiritual heart.  Another thing hard to understand probably. 

One thing I wonder about is have you been through the eye of the needle yet, or is that where this leads?  What did you see after Thanksgiving???  Something happened.  I remember even reading what you say is hard to understand what do we need to do??  That suggests something. 

What makes this difficult for me is a lot of my stuff happened early 90s.  It is fricken 2011.  Selena is right, I do like to know who reads.  I know it isn't an easy thing to confess too, and that I don't understand why. 

Whatevs though.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. Jerry and I were able to run a bit early yesterday.  6 miles @8:32 pace.  Who can understand running??  lol.   :)

Love You All!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

hidden ones       :)))

these    xxxxxxxxxxxx  :)

Christie too, because she comments on my blog a lot.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

The rest of you too.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!   :D   :D

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Zappadinausinct. :))

Betcha didn't see that title coming did you??  If you google the word and something comes up, they stole it from me.  Pretty sure I made the word up.  What does it mean??  In my dictionary it means I am awesomely great.  :))

Anydoodles Oh, wait,  I have pictures that spring has arrived.  It is such a pain in the butt kinda to put pictures on a blog, but here goes.  :)

So anyway, I don't think I have much today.  BTW  I love watching plants and flowers bloom.  Come up early spring, and keep growing and growing and growing.  One of my favs to watch all season long.

Yesterday was just a bike to work and back, and a little 3 mile run.  I was a bit tired, and my legs were death.  Sometimes I wonder about myself, and yesterday the reminder came.   I was walking an older couple to some crap they were going to buy.  They asked me if I knew how far I walked each day.  Oh yeah,  4-6 miles at work I think each day,  on concrete.  Limits me to what I can do I think, but I still try and do as much as I can.  Tonight we run on the snow melt.  I think yesterdays crappy run was a good recovery run, so I should be pretty good today.

Going to cut this pup a bit short.  Like I said I don't have too much today.

soooooo that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I hope you all have a tremendous day.  :))  Oh and Johnny Garcia's fight is this Saturday.  Wish me luck staying up that late.  :)  His fight might not be til 10:00pm.  j/k.  I'll survive.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

extras     :)))

extras of these too for those funny people across the big lake who use these.    xxxxxx   not just in Wales either.   :)))

The rest of yous tooo.    :)))   xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!   :D   :D

Monday, March 21, 2011


Purdue was one of my teams in the Championship.  DOH!!!!   Kansas beat Illinois.  DOH!!!!   I am pretty screwed now.  lol.  The games have been good though, and I am enjoying them.  I didn't stay up to watch the later games though.  I fell asleep.  :)

Oh hey, I guess I should give a little mention here.  Oscar Shutt was the one who invited me to the tourney bracket.  That was nice of him.  Quite an honor.  His Dad is winning too.  Do you guys know that story??  I read Beth a long time, and didn't read him.  I thought I'd check out his blog, and wouldn't you know it the day I checked out his blog is the day his Dad gave a kidney to a friend from church.  What a coincidence huh??  He is a Pirates fan, and baseball is his #1 fave sport.  Too bad it isn't football huh??  He is fast, and running the Pittsburgh Marathon this May.  He is 2:45 fast, but shooting for 3:00.  Like my cousin Rudy those don't come overnight.  Rudy now is a 2:47 marathoner I believe, but took him a while to break 3:00.  Isn't this stuff fun???   Makes me marvel at Ganzi.  He looks like a 3:45 marathoner, he isn't tiny like other 3 hour marathoners.  He is training for Comrades again, so Boston will be a training run. 

I did get a bike ride in yesterday.  I planned on trying to get a 50 miler in.  I wasn't sure how it would work out.  About 10 miles in I stopped at a Burger King, and mowed down 2 whoppers.  I needed something, and I sometimes like whoppers.  I don't eat fast food a lot, but it sounded good at that time so I ate it.  I needed something too.  I think it was from Saturday.  I didn't eat a lot on Saturday, so I must have needed it.  I made french toast in the morning too.  Getting the calories back from Saturday I guess.

Anyhoo after the stop I headed back down to Saugatuck, did my loop around town, and started heading back.  Of course it started to... well I am not sure if it was rain, or hail, or what, but it fricken hurt my face.  lol.  It wasn't coming down hard, so I kept wondering will I go on will I go on.  I kept fumbling in my mind, should I??  Well, it was definitely going to be a game time decision.  I made it back to South Shore, and I still wasn't sure.  Heading back home I'd say I made up my mind.  My quads were done biking it seemed.  So I finished my loop home, and ended up with a 28 miler.  I would have liked to maybe do another 10 mile loop, and at least get a 40 miler in, but like I said my quads were toast.  You  know how biking is too, an hour at home, my legs felt great.  I could have gone out again.  Luckily by this time it was pouring.  50 miler + will have to wait another day.  Hopefully when it is warmer out, and not hailing on me.  lol.  I didn't get too cold though so that is good.

The marathoner I tracked yesterday ran a 3:21.  It will be interesting to see what he has to say about it.  His original goal was 3:20, and he notched it down to 3:16, and ended up with a 3:21.  I would say that is successful.  My marathon P.R. I thought I could run a 3:45, and I ran a 3:47.  I considered that successful.  We'll see.  He mostly does tri's, and swimming is his specialty.  Running is his weakest spot I guess, but still pretty good at that.  Most people running is strong and swimming is weak.  Each has their own specialties though. 

Oh, and that hot little 40 year old ran a half marathon yesterday???  Who knew??   lol.   :)  She fell in her warm up too.  clumsy fool.  :)

We'll see how that came out.  Can't wait.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. This is a good time of year.  Good sports, playoffs in basketball and Hockey are coming up, and Baseball starts soon.  Peavy is  a bit injured so that sucks, but pretty exciting.  I took my camera with me, but didn't have any good pictures to take.  I will take some soon though, as I see stuff coming up out of the ground.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

and these extra ones.   :)))   lol

Now For really really cya cya cya!!!   :D   :D 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

What Doesn't Kill Us...

I told you the workout.  2-10:00 runs, followed by an hour run, followed by another 10:00 run.  I ran to the track, and ran home from the track, so warm up cool down, track, and hour run amounted to just under 15 miles.  14.85 to be exact.  That was harrrrrddddddd!!   First off I wasn't particularly fast on this day.  I think the fast people did their first 10:00 slow, and that screwed up my pace.  After 800M I realized I was below my desired 7:30 pace, so I sped up the final 800 to the mile to get the 7:30 pace and then finished up my 1 more lap plus.  That 2nd 800 screwed me up, because after 2 minutes my legs had no speed.  The fast people went their fast self, and I only managed a high 7-something for the mile.  So that sucks, and I was not happy about that.  Not sure the reason either.  Anyway the effort was there, because the hour run after was not that easy.  My hour run I averaged around 9:00 pace or maybe a bit higher.  I would have to say about 5 miles into the hour run I got a little bonky, or maybe I was just worried about the final 10:00 coming up, and maybe even the run home.  Alan's son asked me what kind of Gu I used at the 5 mile spot, and I said "not sure,  I cannot read right now"  :)  lol

At this point Ken took off before Jeff (MWMFN), and I.  I figured we'd catch him, but we didn't.  As a matter of fact Jeff went ahead of me, and I had to let him go.  I started feeling better at the 6 mile mark, and was able to pick my pace up again.  Still the dread dread dread of the final 10:00.  That is brutal.  What will I have left???   Am I going to throw up like a 9:00 mile on that sucker??  A lot plays on your mind on a workout like this.  I am happy to say on my final 10:00 I threw up a 8:07.  I had no speed in my legs, but cardiovascularly it was a piece of cake.  As a matter of fact I went and finished up another 3/4 lap to complete the track workout at 4 miles.  Warm up Cool down was also 4 miles, and hour run was just under 7 miles.  Here is what Alan says about this workout.  The final 10:00 you will not feel any worse than you do at the end of a marathon.  True True.  At the end of the track my calves were tightening up a bit, and I still had to run home.   Been there done that before, and my calves loosened up as I started to run, and the legs felt fine running myself home.  A heckuva workout.  I napped, and was tired all day long.  Even lil' Cathy was zonked too, and she paces 26.2's for fun.  That should tell you something.  Glad to have a workout like that in my system.  Kinda makes you want to do more and more.

On another note a guy I work with ran his first 5K for speed.  His name is Cory, and he is the Plumbing Manager.  His first one was a 24:40'ish something.  He said he went too fast at the start, and didn't have  a kick at the end.  5K's are tough like that.  You start off, and you are not winded.  You can ruin the whole race in the first 1/2 mile.  At 800M is where you start feeling your effort.  You can be too fast, but doubt you can be too slow.  On race day you are going faster than you think anyway.  For me, I want to have a kick at the end, I don't want to survive.  My thoughts anyway.  A big congrats though, it took me a long time to break 25:00, and he has been training steadily for over 1 year.  I think he is training for a half now.  His Dad is a sub: 2 hour 25K'er too, so there is some running in the family.

Other than that my brackets still aren't too bad.  I got my first #1 seed ousted.  Pitt is out, they lost to Butler.  Lucky guess on my part.  :)   lol.  Go Illinois!!!   :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. think good marathon thoughts.  A blogger who I have been reading for a long time is running a marathon today.  Marty Gaal.  A lot of training goes into those things, and a lot can go wrong.  He'll have other races, but hope he has a good marathon, cause he doesn't do many of those.  Hope for good legs!!!   :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo's  for you all, and even extra ones too.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxox   lol.   Even hidden ones too.  ;)

Have a great Sunday all.  I'll have to be nice to my wife today, cause I was a bit tired, and irritable yesterday.  :)   lol

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!   :D  :D

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Nothing.... It is What I Got I Tell You

Holy crap, do I have no idea what to write today.  I already have my coffee too, so guess I have to get started.  UGH!!!   :)

I have a hard workout on tap today, and that is always good.  Why do we look forward to those??  Isn't that weird??  I am sure 800M into the first 10:00 I will be cursing Alan's good name, but right now I am excited about it.  Wanna know a funny story??  It is with Nancy Best.  She is around 65 or so, and we ran the Illinois  Marathon together.  She was a flight attendant, and I think Doreen does that too.  Anyway she has been retired for quite a bit, but I guess one year she was running the cross, and I think Alan had a camera or something that year.  When he told her to smile, she gave him the double bird.  :)   She is a real funny lady, and she has a great sense of humor.  I don't know if you remember, but she injured herself running the Illinois Marathon, and still to my understanding doesn't feel all that great, but she ran the half at Bayshore, and is running it again this year.

She jokes about her speed.  She says she has one speed.  Speed Work, recovery, tempo, long run, and walk all are done at the same speed.  :)   lol.   Oh, and Nancy I beat in the Illinois Marathon by like a minute.  If you remember I cramped up at mile 16.  That was my only Spring marathon I did, and I p.r.'d the fall marathon.  That is why I don't put too much pressure on MYSELF, because there are always other races to train for.  More days to curse Alan's name for making us do tempo runs with our long runs.  lol.   j/k.   I like the challenging workouts, because they make us better and stronger.  They burn us a lot of calories so we can drink more beer too.  :))  lol

Well, I am up early.  Aren't I the luckiest guy in the world???  I wake up early every day, and almost always in a good mood??  You hear about people hitting their alarm etc...  I am usually wide awake when I wake up.
You know I want to tell you something important.  I let you know what I think.  People never will know what the heck you are thinking, unless you tell them some way.  Sometimes it is easier to write it out, at least for me.  If I have a rough day or something Lisa may never know, because I "talk" about it here.  I try to read people by their actions, but that is always subject to misinterpretation.   If I feel a person is private, and to themselves, than I assume that is how they want to be.  Me, I think I am pretty open.  If I am fabulous in anyway it is probably in the ways I show you how unfabulous I really am.  Ha Ha ha!!   Kinda like an oxymoron huh??   The fabulous only have one way to go... down.   The not so fabulous have only one way to go... up.  So if I am unfabulous, which I probably am, than that is a good thing.  I guess we all are really unfabulous, and the tough and courageous are not afraid to show it huh??   Isn't that what we do???   We all can relate to each other's less than perfect side.  It is who we are.  Perfect is boring.  Perfect means you show no one anything.  It means you keep everything inside.  I guess perfect is boring, but also unhealthy, because it isn't good to keep everything bottled up inside.

Oh well,  I guess that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s.  Had a pretty good first round 26-6, but I have two #1's going out next round.  Means nothing.  :)  lol

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

One other thing, I don't wanna single anyone out on here if at all possible.  I kinda just go by what is in my heart.  So with invisible ink consider Jules and Doreen always with some extra xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo's  I am not going to put it every day, but it is there.   :)))     shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D  :D

Friday, March 18, 2011

First 60 Degree Day

What did I do??  I left work like 15 minutes early, I took a long bike ride home.  Long as in 12 miles instead of 4.  We took the dogs for a walk, and what we noticed is even the wind was warm.  Also you can notice the flowers and plants coming out of the ground.  You know I love watching everything start coming out of the ground, and getting bigger and bigger.

So we get a little glimpse of the difference between weekdays in February, and what will soon be April and May.  There will still be chilly days, but instead of sitting inside, we will soon be sitting outside.  Spring is full of hope it seems.  Hoping for good and fun days ahead.  Sun beating on us as we are all outside doing whatever it is we want.  February is definitely the month of Perseverance. 

I really don't have much today.  I watched one game on the internet, and I lost it.  Who would have thought I'd root so heavily for Penn State.  It was a sweet 16 team of mine.  That sucks.  I don't have any bad misses, but I have two #1's dropping next round.  That could be a dagger, especially if they go on to the final 4.  :)

I guess that is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Thanks Jen G, sometimes I just like to know you are there.   :)    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

For the REST OF YOU ALL!!!!    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo    :))

Oh, and yeah, I am anxious to see how the people racing this weekend do.  People from work, and people from the internetssss!!!    :)  Good Luck.  Don't follow my pre-race plan.  :)  lol

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Abridged Workout

Well we hit the track for the first time, and I really didn't know what to expect.  First track workouts are a pretty good gauge of your fitness I think.  A big learning step anyway.  I think Alan picked a perfect workout too.  It sounds like it is hard, but it really is pretty simple.  As one of the guys asked, "What do you mean simple?"  I answered, "Compared to the rest"  :) 

It is repeat miles, tempo, followed by marathon pace.  Marathon pace is the recovery.  The Boston and early people did 3, and us Bayshore people did 2 of them.  The most important part of this workout is to see what your marathon pace is right now.  My tempo's were 7:28-7:33.  7:33 was pretty easy compared to the first one.  My marathon pace came out to 8:28.  My 2nd one got cancelled, as I had to take Alan's van to unload some excess calories.  The bathrooms weren't open, and I would not have survived the 2nd marathon mile.  So my workout was abridged.  I guess in the next 2-1/2 months I would like to take off at least 20 seconds to those two paces.  We shall see.  Boy, you think you know your self so well.  You run so much you would think I would know what my chances are.  Just have to put in the work.  I need to take my road bike in.  Temps are starting to get pretty nice.  Trails are starting to melt too for softer running.  :)

Saturday will be a start.  Listen to this workout.  I will run to the High School and back, which is 2.70 miles.  Alan has on tap for us 2-10:00 runs.  A run around Eldeans, which is around  9 miles, and return to run another 10:00 around the track.  So in my 16'ish mile run, I will have 3-10:00 tempo runs.  That should get the ball rolling. 

Guess that is about it for today!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I like it when little life stuff pops into my blog.  It doesn't always, but I like when it does.  :)

Have a great one.  xoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!   :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Old Guy-Run-NCAA Tourney

Yeah, going to be a long one.  I am getting coffee first.  Hold on.  :)

I looked back at  the old guy again.  I find it interesting what I wrote.  Here it is:

So anyway I got to hang out with my friend Jacob yesterday.  Jacob, of DeBoer Bros cafe and bakery.  I learned a lot.  I learned the mirror went farther than I thought.  A lot of things happening to friends and stuff in my neck of the woods.

I met a guy who just lost his wife this past December.  They were married 61 years.  Between breaking 22:00 in a 5K and meeting this man.  I'd rather meet the man.  I didn't want to know his sadness though.  Those are things only God can deal with.  YIKES!!

Pre-race.  You know what???  Don't even care.  I had such a full day yesterday hanging out with Jacob it doesn't even matter.  Give me life or give me a race, I'll take life.  I plan on kicking FUCKING ASS in that race though!!!  FUCK IT!!!  :)

Post Race:

First off I did think of that old guy after my race.  Glad I was alone, when thinking about him.  :)  It tells me something about my future.  I won't say anything about it.  I have hinted about it before.  Wanna know a great promise I have been given?  Everything that happens will be for good.  How about that?

Isn't that interesting. Last thing I really wanted to do was think of that old guy, but I was lead there anyway.  Interesting huh?  

Anyhoo,  We ran last night, and it was a surprising run.  I didn't tell you about my 16 miler on Saturday.  Jerry, Jeff, and I ran together.  Once I met up with them, and the group, we headed off west around Eldeans Yacht Club.  That was over 5-3/4 miles against a 25 mph. wind.  Ummm that sucks.  I think it took its toll on us, because it seemed like a pretty hard run for 16 miles.  It mapped out exactly 16 miles on my route too.  How about that??   My pace was 9:30-ish.  That was a bit disheartening.  16 miles-tired legs-slower pace than I would have liked.  I found out last night we all pretty much felt like crap after that run.  Wind is a bitch.  Last night we ran our 6 mile route on the snow melt.  This is what surprised me.  We went slow, and easy, and really it was an enjoyable run.  Never pushed it, the temps were 40-ish, and it felt pretty good.  I was surprised to see a 8:30 pace at the end.  We haven't been running that fast, and I felt we were going at 9:00 pace or something.  Kinda freaked me out.  In a good way though.  Maybe a couple back to back 30 mile weeks has me getting in a bit of better shape.  I'll take it.  There is still hope for me.  :)

Bob, Helen, Matt, Kristen, and the funny teacher lady were out too last night.  I even saw Melgert, Lisa's Dad coming out of the bookstore.  I am not sure what book he got.  He is interested in books like "U.S. bolts on their subs were stronger than the German bolts they used on their subs-and other turning points in the War"  Nice enough guy, but you really wouldn't want to have too long of a conversation with him.  Luckily he stopped bringing out all his firearms to show off every time we visit.  Once every five years or so.   :)   j/k.  

Now the Tourney.  I took another 6 minutes filling out my brackets.  If I could have looked at every teams schedule, and who they played, and how they played against the better teams I would have.  I didn't see an easy way to do it, and I wasn't that interested in taking too much time to find an easy way.  So I went by gut.  I saw a few Big 10 games this year, and a lot of Big 10 teams have go to players, who I feel can take over a game.  In my opinion future NBA players.  I know that is hard to predict, but that is what I think.  Big 10 kicks butt is how my brackets came out.  5 teams in the sweet 16.
Big Upset????  Illinois beats Kansas.  Butler beats Pittsburgh.  Final 4 is Purdue, BYU, Duke, and Ohio State.  Ohio State beats Purdue in the Championship.  Sorry folks, looks like that will be the winning picks.  :)

In my bizarro world last place is 1st place, so I am going for the Championship 2nd year in a row.  :)
Woo Hoo!!!   :)

That is it for today!!!   :)
Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)
xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)
p.s. Bulls #1 in the East as we speak.  #1 means Miami would have to play the Celtics, and winner gets the Bulls, if things would fall that way.  A big deal in my opinion.  

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Looking Back

Okay I looked back at my blog.  Ummmmm, why hasn't anyone told me I blog a lot???  Does this get boring???  I wonder sometimes.  Oh btw the old guys was married 60 years.  You know what really got me that day??  When he couldn't remember his neighbor across the street who lived there for like 180 years.  SHEESH!!

Anyway Monday was a lazyish Monday.  All I did was bike to work and back, but I slept like crap on Sunday.  2 hours maybe, and was just tired.  I would have normally gone for a run, but blew it off.  We took the dogs for a walk, and sat outside for a bit.  It was warm enough.  :)  well warm enough bundled up, and in the sun. 

We just cooked a simple dinner, and I went to bed early.  I slept like I was in a coma.  I slept til 3:00 am too, instead of 2:00.  Just a bit tired I guess. 

Oh well, guess that will about do it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. Thanks @jefStark and @ayuromixed.   xxxxx     :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Mondays!! boooooooo

I want to share a verse from Lisa's best friend daughter.  Her name is Amanda, and she posted this.  I am sure it is a verse, cause she does that a lot, but if not here it is. 

Never gave in, never gave up.  I'm the only thing I'm afraid of.  

Do you ever feel like that??  Do you feel you want to be this awesome awesome person, and you try try try, and you fail fail fail??  I mean we all have these things in us that totally make us imperfect.  Drives you nuts huh??  You wanna be this great person, but how to get there??  I know how to get there, it is what I searched for, and it is something I found.  I don't know that verse made me think of that.   I was in the basement in Normal, Illinois.  Katrina and I were broken up, and I was pretty solo.  My step-mom died, and I was searching for what to do in my life.  I graduated college, but had no idea what to do.  I wanted to be this awesome person, but every time I looked I felt I was so un-awesome.  I guess I had the mirror back then, and it really led me to apologize.  I said I wanna be this great person, but I feel I am a failure, and I feel I am on the wrong side of being on the right side.  I try try try, but I can't.  I need help. 

That is my story, and that is my beginning.  Did you know this weekend is the Irish Jig??  It will be the one year anniversary of meeting the old guy who lost his wife of 50 years or whatever it was.  I sent an e-mail to Dee for some reason the morning before the race.  Wanna know why??  I have no idea, just being a weirdo.  I had no idea after the race, yes it was like 22:06 or something like that.  I have several like that.  Anyway I had no idea I'd be thinking about that old guy after the race.   I am not running that 5K this weekend, because I don't feel 5K fast.  On a brighter note though I will be running a marathon this spring so that is good.  The weather is changing for the better, and that is good.  Things are looking up.  If I don't nail the marathon this spring it is still good training for the fall marathon.  All things are positive. 

It is Monday I feel good, and I gotta do some research for Basketball.  I am playing the tourney with all the cool kids, and I got last place last year.  I know less this year.  UGH!!!   I am doing my research this year dangit.  So I plan on spending more than 6 minutes filling out my brackets. 

I never know my winner until my brackets are done anyway.  Should be fun.  I should stop by Jacob's this Friday, as a sort of 1 year old guy anniversary.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I went on a bike ride yesterday.  You know me I love being outside.  Our forecast is 40's and 50's as far as the eye can see.  Yayyyyyyyy!!!   :)

For all y'all many many many more xo's...  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh and one other thing Amanda was a good swimmer.  You know times twice as fast as mine.  I tried to get her to do tri's, but I think she has bad ankles or something for running.  Oh well.  She is Lisa's best friend's daughter.  I like her, a good kid.  She used to work at I-Hop and got along with that really really friendly waitress too.  small world huh??   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :))


Sunday, March 13, 2011


lol.  Busy day yesterday.   I really don't feel like blogging today.  I ran 16 miles, and Jacob showed up around 5 minutes after I got home.  I took a 4 second shower, and dressed in like 2 seconds, and off we went to the St. Patties Day parade.   We walked in it with some truly Irish people, although they weren't sure how to spell Erin Go Bragh.  Luckily I guessed right.  Ireland Forever.  :)

So I ran 16 miles, and my recovery food was beer.  :)  Not done by the book there I tell you.  Jacob made me eat a couple french fries though.  It was fun, I saw a lot of people.  One thing I saw is two young girls.  Maybe 12 or so.  They were skinny, and they were dancing to some Irish music with some kids.  I was fascinated with them, because they reminded me of Nancy and Olga.  One even had glasses on.  I wanted to ask if they were twins.  :)   They might not have even been sisters.  People were enjoying life, and having fun.  Many people will have to go back to work on Monday while paying $3.50+ gas.  For those who commute, that is a pay decrease.  :)  On this day people were happy, and people had fun.  I met a lady who got divorced after 31 years of marriage.  She looked sooooo happy, it was unbelievable.  I could see openness, and happiness in her face.  Of course the I love you kissing bandit showed up.  :)  I saw Katy too, and said hi. 

One thing you need to know about Jacob is he brings color to this little town of ours.  There aren't many as fun as him.  Everyone who knows him likes him.  He busts everyones balls, and shmoozes old people.  I told him Holland is #2, because there are people like you here.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. The Chicago Bulls are really fricken good.  Pretty surprising huh??? 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  to you alllllllllzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!  :)

Another thing there was a day last summer where I was tweeting and e-mailing some things about being 2/3rds done.  I had a couple days after where I thought of this one blogger quite a bit.  I thought about her a lot.  It tied us together in a way, so she should not worry about anything.  I don't think she is in the signature line, but we iz definitely tied together, and I always have kind feelings for her.  :)  I hope that helps.  :)   Definitely love you tonssssssss!!!   :)  Kinda like the O'Tooles.   :)   Oh, and this past week was a big xo to another blogger who doesn't make my blog very often, but how many had a week about them???   Not many huh??  I am not mad at anything either. 

Sorry, I haven't been the best commenter on some sites, I still read, but I am way off 100%  :) 

That is it.  More xo's for you all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Hope This Works

Some dude was messing with the internet, or cable in the backyard, and now my internet is running slow.  I think that might be the problem, but who knows.  I wanna leave an update though.  I had so many things on my mind this morning, but is there anything as frustrating as a slow connection?? 

You know what?? that really took the sail out of my wind, so that is my blog update today.  Stupid Internet.

 Anyway, yesterday was just bike to work, lunch with Lisa, and chill at home, and sleep a lot.  :)  I am rested for long run Saturday.   :)

Sorry for the bad update, the slow internet really frustrated me.  I don't even know if this will post.  :)  lol

That is it all for today.  :)

cya!!!   :)

Friday, March 11, 2011

Yayyyy It is Friday. :)

I really don't have much to write today, but I'll start with ... well not sure.  I'll start with something after I go get my coffee.  :)

Well  my blog took a drastic turn this week huh??  I sure didn't plan on it.  A day like Sunday I have had before, I never know the time or place.  This here is the tough part for you people to get.  Maybe this is why this blog is scary.  I said if there is some reason I am here, let me do that instead of anything else.  I was given a promise, a promise I would rescue you out of any circumstance you  got yourself into.  Now that isn't a financial mess, or anything like that, but if definitely is flipping the car outside of St. Louis like 6 times with no one seriously injured.  More importantly it is little traps that make me do what perhaps is wrong in his eyes.  So outside the hospital garbage room when I realized I was as bad as bad could be I was angry.  I did what I was told to do.  I stopped hanging around with Lora, and I searched for what I needed to find.  Being dumb like I am, I found it, and kept searching, and kept trying to make it happen.  These things I did were just to help myself.  I was scared, and I was terrified.  So I went up against some scary shit, and was saved, not by anything I did, but what was done for me.  After Jim told me of his dream, I said yeah I overcame, and got in trouble again.  The promise was going to be thrown out, because of my arrogance.  I had one intercede on my behalf, and he used the old forgive him Father he knows not what he does.  Ummmm yeah.   I'd say so.  Still don't.  I don't plan anything I do.  Sunday no,  all the other days???  no.  It just shows up, and I do whatever is needed.  Not by my plan and my will, but just kinda it is done for me, through me.  

I fuck around a lot, to have fun, but if something needs to be done, I am taken aside, and it is done.  Not by my plan like I said.  That was the hard turn I made too, the one where I lost you.  Wanna know why I received that promise??  I asked if it was because I walked into the job promotion interview, was obedient and said no, I will not interview for it.  I told them why too.  I told them I was asked to say no.  Boy did I feel foolish, as you can imagine.  Khien always wondered wth???   He said no it was a different time.  The time when I was praying to get the job.  You know way back then it would have been good money, and Katrina and I would have lived pretty well.  I forgot what the hell her major was, but we would have been o.k.   I prayed I really really really really really want this job.  I want I want I want, but I battled and battled my desires, and my wants, and I said your will though.  Only if you want it for me.  Huh.  I was surprised by that.  He said since you did that I would rescue you out of anything.

That is why this blog is scary.  Things are a lot easier if you believe one line or something, and then say let's try our best huh??  Well shit we all try our best, and you don't believe anything different than Satan believes anyway.  It is o.k. to be on the wrong side of right, because it is really really a simple thing to be saved, although it seems impossibly hard for us, and terrifying.  There is one who is powerful to do all kinds of things.  Just some things to think about, because you want to make sure when we hit the 7th day we enter into his rest.   :) 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I ain't singling out anyone.

You all are the best.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.   :)

Shit, forgot the most important part.  I ran to work yesterday.  Probably 9 minute pace, 3.5 miles.  :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thinking Out Loud So To Speak!!

I was thinking this morning, I put in a lot of time blogging, and reading, and commenting on blogs.  I lost another reader, and she was one of the bloggers who I had a very high percentage comment rate on.  If she pours out her soul, and lets everything out, I am surely not going to let that go without comment.  Isn't that what we do??  Unload whatever is in us??  If she does that, I am not going to let that go without comment.  People want support when they do that stuff.  As is was the case  :)    with others, comments don't have to be published.  I made mistakes too, and I was trying to build people up, but that came at an expense.  I wanted to let people know I thought about them, and it made others think I didn't think about them.  What a complete idiot I am .  :)

Anyway as mentioned yesterday, I did my speed work early.  I did a 2.3 mile warm up, it was around 9:10 pace I think.  I wore shorts.  :)   I also did my 4-1.27 mile repeats with 2 minute rest.  I don't think I went very fast.  I guess I'd like to have gone at a 10K pace, but I think I was at a 15K pace.  My legs just weren't really moving that fast, and mentally I had to keep myself from just coasting.  That was weird.  I ended up at 7:39 7:44  7:44  7:39 pace.  It really almost amounted to 4 10:00 runs, or just a bit under I'd say.  It was an easy pace, and my legs aren't sore, and I can probably get a run in today.  Kinda weird, usually after speed day I am toast.  I'd say I am definitely getting stronger, just need to work on speed. 

thinking thinking, and there is nothing left.  :)   cya.   :)

Oh, I made a dinner too, and relaxed with @ Lisa.  She read/slept on the hammock.  :)  lol

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Day Off During The Week

I used to get these all the time, but now I get every weekend off.  I took a vacation day today, because I was supposed to go to a party, but I wasn't feeling in the party mood.   I told Lisa I may not want to go to that thing, and she wasn't too excited about it either.  Her mom fell in her new place for like the 1000th time, and she is sick, and blah blah blah.  Needless to say Lisa had to transport her from the hospital back to her room with the window. 

I guess when I have days like Sundays it takes a while for me to get back up.  I feel better today.  I lost another reader too.  That sucks, it isn't like I have a ton either.  lol.  Maybe 10 or 12.  From what I gather it was a decision made by the couple together.  The male of the couple even went so far as to tell me to stop commenting on her site.  I thought people liked comments,  I guess some do and some don't.  I guess I'll read, but not comment on that sight, and I took the guy off my list.  He doesn't blog much anyway, and screw it. 

Other than that, having the day off, I think I will do my speed work early.  Wednesday speed work is part of the work day.  I don't have a work day today, so I can do my 1.25 mile repeats.  I want to try and do 4 hard, with a warm up and cool down.  It will be interesting to see the times. 

I guess that will be about it for today. 

cya later.  :)

tomorrow probably,  I slept til like 6:30 am today.  :)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Almost Don't Feel Like Blogging.

What happened Sunday happened before.  You remember the old guy who lost his wife of 50 years???  Why would I come home from that 5K, and think about him for no reason, and unload???  I don't know this guy.  I am a guy too, so typically like most men, if I weren't doing something for a reason I wouldn't give a shit just like any other guy.  I have told you everything.  I have told you things I was asked to do, and these things I did.  Sunday was different.  All the times before when emptying my heart, and remember if I was normal, I wouldn't give a shit like most men, I knew why I was crying.  I knew who I felt soooo bad for.  Sunday I had no idea.  I was just crying basically for no reason at all.  That is why I thought what I was doing was for all.  Shit ain't easy is it??  Fucking life really doesn't come with a how-to manual really.  We have it pretty good in a way, but still shit ain't that great is it??  So do what we do.  Enjoy the times where we get to do whatever it is we do. 

Do some people know??  Can the people tell when I took stuff??  I sorta assume they can.  People I took sadness from some were strong people who had a lot to deal with, and some would not have known how to deal with grief.  I even tried to take some from people, but they were more than able to take their own. 

This here is the scary part, some are falling off.  Can't hang with what they need to do.  Want to hide the sad stuff, bury it.  Some don't want to look at it.  This is where you need to be strong.  This is where you need to trust, because you won't be shown more than what you can handle. 

I think some know they didn't look, because after Sundays ordeal I asked Gina why are people hiding???  Why.  I asked her why me and her couldn't be friends??  Is it a big deal to be scared???  No,  even Gina, strong Gina didn't want to look.  So she is one of the strongest girls I know, and even she doesn't want to look at this shit.  No one WANTS to look at this shit, but you just gotta. 

The tough ones are silently readying themselves for the trip.  Can you kinda see it?  I think maybe it would help if you just laid down your hands and said I will look.  I am scared, and I don't like to feel pain, but I will look at what is shown me, because why not??  Wanna know something??  It will help you feel better.  Kinda like a race.  You bust your ass, you feel like shit during the race, but at the end you feel like a million bucks.

Be tough do this shit, and still do all the things you want to. 

It ain't easy, but like I said, you ain't going to be going to your breaking point. 

Good Luck, and I am here, and I am watching.  :)

cya tomorrow.  :)

Oh, btw, I had a shitty run yesterday.  3-miler, but I am going to get a good run in tonight, so maybe tonight will be better.  :)

toodle ooo.   :)   Is that a word??  Hope I spelled it right.  :)

Monday, March 7, 2011


That is what I felt yesterday.  I warn you here too, this is going to be one of them crazy sounding posts.  Crazy, cause I have to try and make sense of the things that happen to me.  Some things I know, but this one I don't really, but maybe I have a clue.  Now you know I have said before that sadness has to be accounted for.  I have done that, and I have taken people's.  Yesterday I posted this song It is Iz's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" song.  I listened to it over and over again.  It tore me up.  Sent me into despair.  I cried and cried and cried.  I emptied my whole heart of everything, and despair was everywhere.  Despair to have me go hide.  Get rid of FB, Twitter, and stop blogging, you know the routine. 

I don't know why I had to go soooooo low.  Why???  What sadness was I taking???   Wanna know what I think??  I think I took a little bit of everyone's cause you don't want to look at it.  I took some more, because why not right???  Might as well.  I learned why we take sadness a little at a time.  If we took too much, which I was at the breaking point last night, we would rather be dead.  You take a little at a time, and for some reason it is important.  If you don't than I guess further down the road I take more, and all the way to my breaking point.  See I guess this is going to be done some way or another, because that is the plan. 

I also realize my signature line builds some people up, at the expense of tearing others down, so that is not my intention. 

That has me all screwed up too.  booo.

I'll figure that out I guess, but in the meantime have a nice day, and I'll see you tomorrow.  :)  in a manner of speaking.  :)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Long Run Saturday

There are few days as important to me as Long Run Saturday or Speed Work Wednesday.  Spring training seems to be a bit different than Fall training.  In Fall training I like to fill up my Monday with a 10-13 miler.  Spring I take Monday off from running, or do something short so I can get a 6 miler or so before Wednesday.  Reason for it??  No not really, I do whatever.  I like long run Saturday, and I like getting high miles frequently and early.  Yesterday I planned for, 15 and ended up with just under 16.  We didn't have a good turnout yesterday, and that hurts a bit.  Sharing the long run helps with keeping up a good speed.  At least for me.  So I ran solo most of the way out.  We were doing an out and back.  I went out to the 14 mile turnaround, which actually was the 16 mile turnaround, hence the 16 miles.  Kevin and Bob were out doing the 18 turnaround with lil Cathy.  They caught up to me at mile 9.5'ish I think.  They were going Marathon pace for them, which is 7:15's maybe, but Bob notified Kevin it was quicker than that.  Cathy trailed back a bit, and after the stop she ran with me.  For her getting 20 miles speed wasn't a concern, especially since those two dragged her the 1st half pretty quickly.  Her running with me made me go faster.  So her going slow, made me go fast.  Trust me I cannot hang with her.  Even her running slow was hard.  I yo-yo'd quite a bit, and when we were toward the end I was done.  I was going to do another lap with her, but I was done. 

Just a couple notes, up to 9.5 miles I was probably running 9:25's or so.  The final 6.5 miles made my total pace drop to 9:07, even with a few miles against a pretty stiff breeze.  So it definitely sped me up trying to hang with lil Cathy.  I kept thinking during the yo yo'ing to hang tough hang tough.  So my mind was helping me stay strong.  There was nothing at the end either, so definitely a good effort for me.  Like I say I like to get high mileage early.  I am hoping to get a little 4 miler today to put me over 30 miles, and now I am starting to get somewhere.  On Wednesday Alan has us going back to the cemetery to do what we think may be close to 1000's.  My goals for Bayshore I am not sure.  We'll see if I can get to 3:35 shape again.  I may not, but gonna try.  3:45 would still be a p.r. so would be happy with that.  How fun is this???   :)

Only thing missing would be long bike ride Sunday.  I always like to post my long bike rides, cause I am vain like that.  :)  lol   Other than that Lisa and I had a pretty nice day.  We saw a movie, and had dinner, and saw another movie.  Today I work for a few hours, and that is that. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  How bout them Blackhawks   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.  xxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gina xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Starks xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikki and Kyle xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :)

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Quick Update

Just a quick update for ya'all.  :)  I decided to catch up on some sleep so slept in til after 5:00.  Yesterday was just a blast, and I had a good day overall.  I did want to clarify one of my statements, and it is a bit of a story.  I babysat Lora's new born kid one time.  It was the most worst awful night of my life.  Kid never stopped crying.  I realized then and there being a Father was not for me.  It isn't I don't like kids, it is I don't like being responsible for them.  We each are good at different things, and being a parent is not one of them for me.  That is all I meant.  Sometimes words are a double edged sword.  I meant what I thought about me being a parent to kids, not what you all want to do.  We all have different things we like to do. Sorry if any took it the wrong way.  :)

I know this thing is important, and what we do is important.  You all will be fine, so don't worry about that.  My friend Dan did a brave brave thing yesterday.  All will go well with him.  He was the guy I know who lost over 100 lbs. and ran a marathon.  2 as we speak.  He is a guy who is kinda like Alan.  Always has a million things he is working on.  Never able to fully focus on just one thing.  He kinda is doing that now.  Focusing on himself.  He isn't running so much now, but doing all kinds of other things.  Hockey, and weights etc...  Who knows??  But yeah he went from a 350 pounder 2 pack a day smoker to a healthy guy.  He is the one who holds the 5K 22:00 minute time I have been going after too.  How about that??

Hawks, Bulls, Sox  Woot!!!  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!   :)

p.s.  gotta love long run Saturday.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.  xxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gina xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Starks xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikki and Kyle xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Beth and Oscar,  more for Beth kinda weird xo'ing guys.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Beth makes it every day anyway, cause the smiley is hers, and they are a team.  Barb makes it every day too with Awesome.  Love You all is Steve Rose's thing, so all who went there.  xo's is Gina.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.  Must be Jen Gray.  Thanks for reading is Nancy O'Toole.  That is it for today must be the Gaals I guess.  Anyone on my RHS is good, even if I don't have a comment.  You all will be fine though, so try not to worry.

Olga is always good too.  Love her a ton.  :D   :D

Kim Sheirdan is part of Steve Rose's thing too, because she was totally there in spirit.

Stay strong, we all got this.  :)))

Chihak's are all related to Grandma Chihak.  Melanie and Stephanie Mae were that life line.

Special xo's for Boston Kim for playing along.  She has my kinda sense of humor.  Not for everyone, although maybe everyone finds that stuff kinda funny, but hide their eyes from it.  :)

Long run Saturday.  Have a good one all, I know I will.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Friday, March 4, 2011

This Might Be Long

You have been warned.  It will only be long, cause I may do that ABC thing.  Anyway, what made me think of this is Jacob stopped at the store yesterday. picking up some shit from the store for his house.  He asked what I was doing next Saturday, and I guess I am going to the St. Patties Day parade with him, and drink Green Beer after at the Curagh.  The Curagh is the Irish Pub located downtown, and it is right across from New Holland.  I believe the Curagh is owned by a husband and wife team, where the wife runs in our group.  Her name is Sophie.  This here is a marathon story for ya'all.  :)  Sophie is slower than me typically.  During speed work last year, she was always a bit behind me.  At Bayshore last year she was always hanging around Jerry and me.  She was going for 3:50, and I was pacing 3:35 through 15.  She didn't make it at Bayshore, but it was fricken hot.  She kept saying she felt good she felt good.  I was like everyone feels good at mile 6 of a marathon.  You want to feel good at mile 22.  Bayshore was too hot, and she missed it.  She got her sub: 3:50 at Grand Rapids, and got her Boston.  She will be one of the people there this year.  She is a tough little runner.  She passed me at Grand Rapids when I was all toast.  So did the girl who got run over by a car.  Good Shit!!!  :)

Guess I got time for the ABC Thing:

A. Age: 44
B. Bed size: King, still not enough room for @ Lisa, me, and 3 dogs.  Fuckers make me sleep like a pretzel.  :)
C. Chore you dislike:  ALLLLLLLL    :)
D. Dogs: Jasmine, Cameron, and Hope.  Hope's vagina is bleeding all over the place.  Fucking kids dog.  :)
E. Essential start to your day: Coffee read blogs, blog, and yeah, guess it is a type of workout.  getting to work, or long run Saturday.  :)
F. Favorite color:  blue I guess. 
G. Gold or silver:  Do you really think I wear jewelry???  :)
H. Height: 5’8"
I. Instruments you play(ed): nothing. 
J. Job title:  Inventory Controller. 
K. Kids: None, I don't like them.  :)   lol
L. Live: Holland, MI  #2 best place to live,  #3 is Honolulu.   :)
M. Mom’s name:  Madonna
N. Nicknames: Pickle.  I guess people have been known to call me asshole at times too.  :)
O. Overnight hospital stays:  6 days P.I.C.U. bitch.  you know that story.  There may have been others, but as a kid maybe, I don't remember.  Probably not. 
P. Pet peeves:  Not telling.  :)
Q. Quote from a movie: "Bueller????   Buelller????  all I could think of.  :)
R. Righty or Lefty: right handed and left footed. 
S. Siblings: 2 brothers John and Jim. 
T. Time you wake up: M-F 2:00'ish.  am.  Sat and Sun,  earlyish.  :)
U. Underwear: boxers.  Never when I work out, so I make @ Lisa smell my workout clothes to see if they are clean.  I don't like that smell.  :)   j/k.   lol  
V. Vegetables you don’t like: pretty sure I like all veggies.  Can't think of any I don't like. 
W. What makes you run late: I am always on time typically, but I rush out the door, cause I am always forgetting this or that.  :)
X. X-rays you’ve had:  teeth, back, broken arm,  think that is it.  :)
Y. Yummy food you make:  Meat Loaf, Chicken Cacciatore, Lasagna, Homemade Pizza.  Double baked potatoes, or mashed potatoes.  stuffed mushrooms too.  :)
Z. Zoo animal favorites:  Fuck the zoo.  :) 

Yesterday was a bike to work, time trial.  Headwind.  Nearly killed me.  I made it to work on time though.  :)  Easy ride home, wind to my back.  Had some drinks, and listened to some music.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. running to work today.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gina xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Starks xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikki and Kyle  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

JPH cause she likes it when I call her bitch.   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   j/k.  she is funnnnyyyyyyy!!!    :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Boston Kim, cause she is funny too.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Christie too, cause she comments on a lot of blogs.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

All the rest o'yas too.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

A New Corner

Alan went all out yesterday in finding a workout.  It was a paved sidewalk in a cemetery, that had no snow on it.  It was kinda like a track, but with inclines and declines.  We don't know how long it was, maybe 500M.  It was super fun.  Early Marathoners and Boston people had to do 4-10:00's, and I had to do 3-10's.  You forget how hard those 10's are.  2 minute rest between.  This cemetery was right by my house, so I drove to the aquatic center to meet, and drove home once I found out where we were going, and ran there.  7/10 of a mile warm up and cool down.  Good Enough. We definitely need to use that cemetery again. 

Few notes.  I felt good finally.  Running 4 days in a row is not something I typically do, but I felt pretty darn good.  I don't know my pace really, but I felt 7:30'ish.  I could be wrong, but it kinda felt like that, so I think I have turned a corner, and am starting to get in shape.  I got lapped on a 10:00 run by Kevin and Bob.  wtf???  assholes.   :)   j/k.  lil Cathy almost lapped me on the 2nd 10:00 too, so the early people are running pretty good.  Me and MWMFN ran home, and I told him I finally felt good after a speed work session.  Like I have turned a corner. 

Only problem with speed work is I don't eat after, and I don't sleep well after so that kinda sucks.  I may be tired, but surprisingly don't feel it.  We'll see how the day ends. 

Really don't have much besides that today I don't think.  Sometimes life is just  about getting a good workout in.  Some days as we look inside ourselves there is more, but today, that is all I got.

so with that I say that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and AWESOME day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. I need to find my camera.  We have been getting some really cool sunsets lately, and I think, SHEESH, wish I had my camera.  I wonder where the heck it is....hmmmm

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gina xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Starks xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikki and Kyle  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

All the rest o'yas   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

OMG my blog is so weird.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

It's A Festivus Miracle

Well for one thing I picked up another blogger.  It is a guy too.  What the fuck.  I "told" him via comments it is hard for me to pick up guy bloggers, cause girl bloggers are too fricken cute.  I read his last post, and he ran the same race as Oscar.  He negative split it too, which is always the better way to go in my dumb opinion.  I think he even beat Oscar, so that shows you he is fast.  I've known about him for a while, as he is friends with Beth, Oscar, and Kim Kim Kim.  I looked, and didn't see any comments on his blog for the last 3 posts.  Sucks being a guy blogger huh??  You girls all kick ass at this shit.  Anyway his name is Chad Holderbaum, and he is a talented tri dude.  Why do I read tri people, and I don't do tris.  fricken weird huh??  Oh well.

Speaking of Kim Kim Kim you should check out her last post.  I don't know what the hell she wrote in the damn thing, but the last picture with the frown face was super super cute.  :)  Don't tell her husband I said that though.  :)  lol

I want to say something here.  I trust Oscar.  I trust Beth.  I trust Kim Kim Kim, and I trust "Boston" Kim.  She is funny, and everything else.  I trust the tennis player Julia in Minnesota, and JPH.  I don't care what they do, I trust them. 

That isn't all exclusive, I mean obviously the O'Tooles I trust, and Jessica and others.  All my new bloggers are great, trust them.  I have picked up a lot, so don't even remember them all, but just so you know I am o.k. with ya'all.  :)  lol 

So anyway yesterday I just biked to work and back.  I think I made a decision not to swim.  It was a March day, it was sunny, and kinda warm, and I thought you know what.  I am not going to do any tri's.  I am going to run, and bike.  Swimming takes up so much damn time, and mostly I wanna be outside.  Something I want to do to free up time I guess.  I still like spending time at home with my wife and stuff.  I'll take my bike in, and get it geared up for the summer, and be a biker and a runner.  That makes me happy.  :)

Last night we ran on the snow melt.  We saw Bob and Matt run, and Helen was running too.  Matt was one of the guys who I forgot from the hill day, and he is recovered from an injury, and doing an early Marathon I think, but I don't know if he'll be 100%  I did 6 miles @ a little under 9:00 pace, and Jerry did an extra loop beforehand.   So he ended up with 7.5 miles.  My legs will probably be toast tonight as it will be the 4th day of running in a row.  Oh well, I'll do my best. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's  !!!  :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. for the surprise....

Love You all!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best!!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gina xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Starks xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikki and Kyle xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kmineks xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

People at Steve R's thing  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You don't have to do anything else.  I'll try and put up to Nikki and Kyle on all the time, but if I don't I just am lazy, tired, or whatever.  o.k.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!   :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Big Blog Tuesday. :)

First off I like these lyrics by this Avril Lavigne song.  :)

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

There are a lot of different areas I can go here, but I know I have a pretty sharp sword, and it is a good one.  I have a feeling most of you know it too.  I am going to tell a couple stories here.   I went through a  very tough time during my summer of discontent.  Judged every second of every day.  No matter what I did I was on the wrong side of being on the right side.  Every second of every day.  Who knows how long this went on, but can you imagine thinking the worst of yourself 99.99% of the time day in day out??  After you already suffered more than you ever had before, and not being able to tell anyone??  Having to stay away from your best friend to go find out some answers.  You wanna know what I think??  I don't think you will have to do anything that hard.  I think I had to struggle through so much stuff, so your path won't be as hard.  Sure ain't going to be easy, but only because it is scary.  Fear is a good thing.  Do you have fear yet???  Pretty sure you do.  Shit it is scary just reading this thing sometimes huh??  I know I know.

I know some of you want to worry about the Government and stuff like that, but trust me, that shit won't be around forever.  There is an endgame to everything so to speak, and we are nearing.  You will have to be strong, and that is what we are going for now.  Wanna know a good thing.  One with the best eyes leads your way.  Looks out for you.  He doesn't make it a non-fear way, but he knows what he is doing.  There is a plan for you, and all this is done for a reason.  I never had that.  I never had me, I was alone.  Scared to death every second of every day.  Despair always, but you will get strong, and you do this for your kids as well as others.  Lisa doesn't even read this, and she gets stronger and stronger.  :)

So anyway I wanna tell you a marathon story, and a life story.  Many of you know the story of Laura and Rudy Chihak.  I linked to the blog entry a couple of times.  Hold on, I'll see if I can find it.  Here it is if you haven't seen it.  I found out something last summer.  Now you know last summer I actually saw my mom for the first time since I was like 6.  Like I said we hit it off like we were best friends.  It is how I am, I have a shield of all things, because I have help.  I had help through my journey, and even back in the early 90's I went through some things, while you all were living life.  How about this little thing here, you get to do this, while still doing what you love.  Nice huh??  It should make for some good seasons.  :)

Anyway I want to get back to this story.  I found out Rudy, and Laura's Dad was a lot like me.  Life of the party type of guy.  Once you are the life of the party there is always some pressure to always be.  No one is always on.  Life of the party always feels pressure to be on for his or her friends cause they expect it of him.  I knew there was more to me.  I knew there was sadness in me.  You know if you don't look at your sadness it is just a poison.  It isn't easy to look at, because like I said people are afraid of it.  It is something you have to look at, or else nothing, but bad comes from it.  It festers, and turns into bad stuff.  Rudy, and Laura's Dad killed himself.  I looked at my sadness, and told my Dad about it while I was in college, and my roomate Dale at the time heard me tell my Dad about it.  I said no one knows me.  I confessed my less than strong side, and the healing began.  It sure wasn't easy, and my path was horribly hard.  I made it though, because the puller of the strings helps those who he loves.  Original 4 plus one.  (Barbara)  going to be a pretty tough road, but no tougher than what I went through.  When this ends you will be a big help to me.  I will leave it at that.

Wanna know how I know this blog is hard to read???  Only a couple people wished Lisa and I happy Anniversary.  I mean sure don't wish me, but Lisa is pretty nice isn't she??  I think so anyway.  :)  Fuckers!!!   lol

12 years btw.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :))

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)   (Gina's signature)  :)

Love You All!!

p.s., Blackhawks are in the #5 playoff slot as we speak.  Good to be a Chicagoan.  Good sports teams less the Cubs.  :)   lol

Love You all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blogger Christie   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   u r pretty.  :)

Gina xo       ha ha Ha .   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikkie and Kyle.  Mostly for Nikki, cause it is weird xo'ing guys.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Starks  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   Jeff is easy to xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.  lol

Everyone else too.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

In the words of Avril Lavigne:

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!

One other thing.  I read everyone on my right hand side, but if comments aren't published on 2 of the original 4, then I will not come out of hiding.  I'll stay in my reader.  You have to let me know someway.  If not I will just stay hiding in my reader.