Monday, May 31, 2010

Legs Felt Pretty Good

After my 15 mile run on Saturday the legs felt pretty good on Sunday, so I biked up to the Sanctuary Woods and ran the trails for 34 minutes as a little recovery run.  It is a pretty challenging loop.  Once you climb the 170 steps and rest for a bit...  :)  You run the trails.  I swear some parts just kill you.  A lot of times I think, oh this will be my last loop, but ALWAYS when you get back to the start finish area you are recovered.  It is challenging, fun, and easy on the legs. 

Speaking of legs, they feel pretty good again today, so think I will go for another run today.  Since I am up early, I'll get it in early. 

Not much else to report today.  @ Lisa and I had a pretty relaxing day.  Just sat outside and listened to some music, and then grilled out.  I went to bed early.  @ Lisa said, "why don't you stay up and watch a movie."  I told her, "my alarm goes off pretty early on Mondays."  She said, "hit snooze, what side of your head is your snooze button?"  :)

I got out of bed at 2:30.   :)

That is all I got today!!

Love you all!!!   tons!!!  :)


Have a great day!!!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Marathon Day

"If on marathon day the spectators are wearing shorts and t-shirts it is going to be a hard day

--Alan Martens

I trained with these people for 100's and 100's of miles.  They all did great!!  I could tell a story about each, but let them start their own blog right??  You know my blog whoreness will read it right??  How is whoreness not a word??

Anyway it was great.  I had Jerry on pace, but after about mile 13 the sun and heat were taking their toll.  I pulled off at mile 15.  I told Alan Jerry won't get 3:35 probably 3:50.  Jerry got 3:49 and some change.

My day 15 miles @ 8:12 pace.  Glad I didn't have to run 26.2.  My pace would have dropped dramatically.  I didn't know how Jerry felt, so wanted to make sure I kept on pace as long as I could.  He was falling back between 14 and 15 a bit, so I knew he felt like me.  :)  He went on for another 11+ miles.  Like I said glad it wasn't me.

I was proud of them all!!!  They are great!!!

A lot of celebrating afterwards.  I drank 478 beers I think, and had nothing to drink at the Harju's party, so drank Jameson on the rocks, it is what my brother brought.  Felt a little sluggish first thing this morning, but am fine now.

It was a great day!!!  :)

Love you all!!


Have a great day!!!!  :)

p.s. half marathon 1:47:30.  1:04 off a P.R.  :)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Traverse City--phone blogging ;)

Yesterday Alan and I drove up to Traverse City. This is Alan's big day, and a ton of people he coaches. 100's and 100's of miles were run for a shot of this one day. The full for many, and a few for the half. Nancy's half is big for her. It is her 1st longish race coming back from injury when we did the Illinois Marathon together. I believe she is 65 years old.

The full Marathoner's are hoping to qualify. Runners know what that means, and some want P.R.s.

I was reminded yesterday via Nancy's blog to stop and smell the roses. I was reminded driving by the bay during the sunset there is a bigger picture. I have never seen those colors before.

I saw the thinly veiled red moon over the shiny water, and I couldn't share. My heart was full.

Some miss out on life. It is sooooo much more than the devices men came up with.

Check it out once in a while. God can show you things every day. Keep your eyes open. He'd love you to see. :)

Love you all!!! :)

Xo's. :)

Have a great day!!! :)

Now let's see if Jerry and others can accomplish their goals!!! Woo. Hoo!!!

Forgive any typos!!! :)

Friday, May 28, 2010

Whatever is Inside

That is what I write.  I have no idea how I will be perceived.  Like a 10 year old boy, or a crazy ass, or someone who thinks a lot.  Probably it all.

A little secret, what people see day in day out is different then who you really are.  You are what you  write, if you write from the heart.  This is the ability we have right now.

I made a decision a long time ago to follow Lora's honesty.  I did.  I told a pretty blond girl at work I cheated on my girlfriend of 2-1/2 years, or would have if she didn't walk in on us.  My girlfriend Katrina thought I was fabulous.  I was knocked down several pegs.  I would have wanted to be fabulous in the eyes of the blond girl, but my journey was solo, and more than anything I respected truth.  I told her, not with confidence, and not great honor, I told her with fear.  I let her know I was not perfect.  I did not belong on a pedestal.  Fabulous is nice, but truth is to be respected.

When in doubt truth it out right??  Ha ha!!

It is the right way.  I don't think it is always easy, cause it wasn't for me.  My journey started a long time ago, and here is where we are.

Love you all!!!


Hope you have a great day!!!  :)

4.25 mile run and bike to work and back.  Lisa and I did a short to-do-list, and went out to eat, and I had some beer.  Why???  Cause I hate my money!!  Ha Ha!!  funny line!!  :)

 It doesn't have to be all serious.  Look at   Barb  She did it in a funny way.  She started being honest a while ago, and now her posts are all funny.  We all do a ton of good stuff, but we aren't perfect.  God looks inside, and when you write from your heart he shows you what he is looking at.  :)  We only can see the day to day, and he looks inside. 

The people at work and who I hang around who don't read this have no idea about this side of me.

O.K. that is it now.

Now have a great day.  :)

Thursday, May 27, 2010


Gonna Go For A List Of 25 Random Things!!!  Should be fun!!

  1. I am lucky to not need much sleep!!
  2. Not sure the purpose of why I wake up so early without an alarm.  There is a purpose though!
  3. I don't know the difference between what I planted and a weed in my garden.  :)   (yet)
  4. Lisa and I had a pretty productive day yesterday.  (short to-do-list was the trick)
  5. hmmmm getting stuck at 4.
  6. I think this list will be boring, but people who read it may find it interesting, cause it tells about me.
  7. I had a really good day yesterday!!  My heart was really upbeat.  Didn't expect it!!
  8. I thought I was going to be sad on Tuesday, and I really wasn't.. a little for a bit, but not much.  
  9. The new guy at work is soooo weird.  I don't pretend to like him, cause I don't!!!  :)
  10. That being said I realize God still may have plans for him.  I still don't like looking at him.  
  11. I am going to try to read blogs when I wake up from now on.  Not during the day!!!
  12. I asked Nancy O'Toole really random questions on formspring.  Like Why is window and When is yesteryear....or something like that.  :)
  13. I think I laugh everyday.  I am a real smart ass, I wonder if it comes across via my blog??
  14. There was a bat laying on the sidewalk outside work yesterday people were talking about. I told a cashier I thought they were talking about her.  :)  We've worked together for like 1000 years.
  15. I exaggerate a lot.  I wonder if that comes across.   ;)
  16. I have a new friend on FB I think.  It makes me feel good.  better than most.  (blogger)
  17. I love reading blogs.  I'd read more if they commented on my blog.  If it is a good blog.  I don't add anymore, unless recommended somehow.  
  18. I am glad Gina recommended Nancy O'Toole and Nancy recommended her sister.  good girls!!
  19. Sometimes I check out other blogs if a person comments quite a bit before or after me.  
  20. I congratulated Audrey on her mile, but I am under comment annihilation again!!!  :)  50th time??  :)
  21. I am going to run a 4.25 mile loop this morning, and that will be my last run before my pacing on Saturday.
  22. I remember doing the 7 things via Jessica's blog.  That was hard, this seems pretty easy.
  23. I may do more than 25... this is pretty fun.
  24. Our little dog barks too much!!!  so annoying!!
  25. Lisa's Mom is in a nursing home... maybe for good.   
  26. She has lived an unhealthy life.  I am lucky... God has lead me in such a way as to remain active.  :)
  27. I think I know someone who blogs privately.  It would be hard for this person to let people see.
  28. I am going for 30 now!!!!  :)
  29. I am not nervous for my pacing job.  I think God's hands are in it, and Jerry may qualify!!!
  30. Jim is going to pick Jerry up at mile 20 is my guess.  I bet I go 15-16.  Hope to not have to walk back to the finish line!!!  :)
Love you all!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Have a great day!!!  :)

FWIW-- I think the Dow under 10,000 is exceedingly bearish!!!  Not good!!!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Journey

I don't know anyone's journey.  I will be open and honest here.  I use the blogs to get the light out.  You all have a bit of light, but you cannot bury.  Light = open and honest.  Your journey is to open up.  That much I know.  I have said it before the more you bury the harder the journey.  Truth = light.  Go for that.

Comment Annihilation is so 8th grade!!!  :)

I really had nothing to write today.  Not one bit.  I would have, but a really negative blog reader threw me off, so I went to Jen Gray to grab a little light.  I have plenty of her to go through, and bet I can re-read her stuff on those light days.

I have said Steve Rose's death was going to be used for the greater good.  It is.  I have Gina who I share stuff with.  She is a pretty honest soul.  She can't spell worth a shit on her i-phone, but typos crack me up!!!  Why I have no idea.  I would have never found Jen Gray's blog without the visitation.

Steve's life was full of great things.  He had some negative stuff he didn't bring out in the open.  Hard to show our less than fabulous side.  That is our journey though.  The truth will set you free, but only if you don't bury it.  It is our less than fabulous side, which brings us to light.  None of us are perfect.  We all have a bit of Tiger Woods in us.  We would love to be viewed as Tiger was, but it was a charade.  He'll be better off for having his lesser side come to light.  We all are better off, as we learn our heroes here on Earth all fail.

I don't know where you all stand as far as things go, but I think you perhaps are fighting to let the truth out.

Maija won the race, cause when everything looked bad she shined bright!!!

With Love!!!

Me!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

almost forgot.  5 miles of hills at 2:30 am.  Bike to work and back.  Cut the grass, and even used the weed eater!!!  :)  I also planted some more tomato plants.  Today I finish the garden fence, do a little weeding, and some laundry.  I have a plan and a list in my head.  Tapering for my pacing on Saturday.  Not sure how far I will pace.  I may pace 26.2, and grab a Marathon P.R. probably not though.  I may end up with a half marathon p.r. though.  :)  

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Up Early and Heat!!

Well screw the title I already have other things on my mind.  I need to re-phrase from yesterday.  You know I don't think I am lazy.  I work 40 hours each week.  Over 90% of the time I am on my feet walking, crouching, climbing (ladder) you name it.  I run, bike, cook, clean the house (sometimes) do the grass, help sometimes with the gardening.  Let's just say there isn't much things I put value in. 

I am not well organized anymore, (yes I used to be)  I want Lisa to take over the house budgeting, cause I just don't give a crap about it. 

Some days I just don't have it.  Yesterday was one.  My run was sluggish.  I cut it short... only 3 miles.  I figured it was from the heat, and from a couple good workouts on the weekend, and not sleeping very well.  It was at a 8:50 pace and that seemed hard.  I walked home at the 3 mile mark. 

I need to be more accepting of people.  People will typically do what they value.  They will do what is fun for them.  I am lucky I have fun training for running races.  Keeps me in shape, and relatively healthy.  I know my sleep patterns are whacky, and would be almost impossible to keep up with me.  You shouldn't try.  :)

Oh well I am just rambling I guess.  Eat drink and be merry cause that is your lot in life right???

I am switching my speed work today to do it this morning.  It is gonna be 1000 degrees today!!  I cannot do the track, since it is dark.  I am planning on 8-12 800's by my house.  Hard ups recover down.  Anywhere from 4-6 hard ups and downs.  Who does speed work at 2:00 am???   :)

Okay I guess that is about it.  I have a feeling I know what is on tap for work today...we'll see. 

Hope you all have a good one!!

Love you all!!!  :)

xo's!!  :)

cya!!!  :)

Monday, May 24, 2010

Good Sunday!!

Started off my Sunday by waking up too early.  No clue why I woke up at 2-ish am on a Sunday.  I do it enough during the week maybe that was why.  I went back to bed til. 8:00 am.

Only thing I wanted to get done work-out wise was a 50 miler.  The route I used ended up being 50.2.  How is that??  Pretty nifty.  I actually pushed a bit around 35 miles into it too.  I attacked some hills, and got my speed up higher than I thought for a steady incline.  Like I said I don't push much.  :)   I am lazy, and I am not competitive.  Don't think I ever had the killer instinct.  I like having fun though.  That being said I don't remember ever losing a tennis match, or ping pong match even though I rarely play either.  Haven't played tennis in a couple years, or ping pong for that matter.  You know in H.S. I was more of a afraid to lose type of guy instead of needing to win.  I was afraid of feeling the pain of losing.

In fun soccer games I was probably a better goalie than my brother John, but he was the goalie for a time during real games.  I couldn't handle the stress of giving up goals.  I cried a lot during little league baseball games too, when I gave up runs pitching. I was not the most courageous kid I guess you would say.

Courage finds us though.  When we flipped my car outside of St. Louis 4-times.  I was the one who got out to make sure everyone was o.k.  We were...probably cause we were all relaxed sleeping.... even the driver.  Something about drinking a lot the night before and making the trip from Normal, IL to St. Louis to go up the arch and drive back with no sleep.  Yep we partied in College.  I was, and am stupid as far as that goes.  I like having fun.

As far as my life has gone past College I was picked to see some more scary stuff.  Stuff I would not have had the courage to face without God, stuff I barely had the courage to face with God.  Even this morning I thought of my future.  I know I have to face some more scary stuff.  I think it is Psalm 43 that helps me with that.  Doesn't it say something "I have no fear thou art with me"  I may have the number wrong, but what I will go through I will have help.  I share with no one, although many will know eventually.

Okay a couple things about my bike ride more.  Did I get off track???  Knee hurt again during my bike ride.  I also have to bring my road bike in, it makes noises.  :)  spoke off too.  boooo!!  I ride with music as much as possible.  Safe or not I enjoy it...that being said my buds are jacked, and it was nice to hear forest noises when I turned off the music.   hmmmm.

One other thing.  The truth will come out of everyone.  It has too.  Can't keep it in.  It isn't in your cards.  :)  It is in none of our cards.  When you are ready though.  God's will be done.  :)

Sunday pictures!!!   I know right... me with pictures.  whoda thunk???  (whoda not a word????)  hmmpf!!!  (thunk is a word??? )  never knew that.

God's Canvas

Flower's blooming

Lazy cat!!!


All has a story!!  I look at the sky a lot.  I love watching plants bloom.  From Weekdays in February to Late May is quite a journey.  Cat's are lazy, but not as lazy as my dog Jasmine!!  Holy Crap is Jazz really lazy!!  Salmon was my dinner and Orange Roughy for Lisa.  I really am the only one who likes Salmon, and I love it.  If I lived in Hawaii---never would cause I run--- I would be a vegetarian I bet.  I could eat fish every day, but we rarely do in this house.  I'd probably have to sneak out for a burger here and there though.  I love burgers!!!!  :)

That is it!!!

Hope you have a good one!!

xo's!!!  :)

p.s. going to get my run in early today.  Love it!!!  Speed work tomorrow.  Alan gave me a 5K workout.  gonna be a hot one, but that which doesn't kill us right???   :)

cya and love you all!!!!  :)

pictures = phone quality please forgive.  I M a lazy photographer.  I am a lazy one for spelling out I M too.  :)

Sunday, May 23, 2010


I learned a lot running my 4 laps.  I think I will put it in a list:

  • Hard to not go out too fast on the first lap
  • need to do the mile more than once every 3 years to get a feel for it.
  • I don't go all out very often... my lungs were sore
  • Not everyone wants to suffer @ 7:00 a.m.  next one will be later in the morning
  • Doing an all out mile is good speed work!!
  • lost focus on the final lap for a bit.  
  • Need to do it without music
  • Hard but fun.  
Another thing I learned is it is almost impossible to play that ladder ball toss game without swearing.  I mean when you score one and the darn thing is twirling and falls off at the last second.  How does anyone play that stupid game without cussing up a storm?  Kids were around last night too.  ;)

You guessed it.  I got nothing today.  What the hell am I doing up at 2:30 a.m.???  I have no idea.  I think I will go back to bed.

good night!!! 

p.s. Johnny was the only other one to show up and he got a 5:40.  His first lap was fast too.  2nd and 3rd were survive, and then he shrugged me off at the final lap.  He said I got this, and booked.  He really kicked it.  No wonder he is a champ.  When it gets hard he brings it!!  He thrives on that!!  He is impressive!!

My laps-- 1:30-1:38-1:38-1:33  I think that is right.  First one too fast!!

Now I am off to bed!!!... again!!

xo's!!!  :)

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Johnny and Emmanuel somewhere between 5-5:30.  Brian sub 5:00 how much I know not.  Me...I would love to hit 6:00, but don't see how that can happen.  Nothing in my track work makes me think I can.  6:15-6:30 would be my guess.  We shall see.  It will hurt.  Plan is to run 5-ish as a warm up and then we'll see. 

Kind of a slow week on workouts.  I guess cause it was a tough personal week for me really.  3 pretty tough days.  Last night I went and hung out with Jacob and Steph.  The sky was unbelievable. 

Short entry I know, but I am excited about the mile.  Should be fun fun fun!!!

Blackhawks up 3-0  :D


Hope everyone has a good one!!!

Love you all!!!  :)

xo's  :)

Friday, May 21, 2010

It is Friday At Least

Wow,  I really have nothing to write today.  Guess I will try and be honest about my previous 3 days.  I am open and honest on this thing as much as possible.  Me doing that in the long run helps you do that.  Quid pro quo though.  I can only remain being open and honest if you reciprocate.  You cannot bury the bad stuff. Let the bad stuff out.  It doesn't come out at once, but a little at a time.

You all are strong enough to be honest, and let's face it- honest = tough.  Bury = afraid.  Most people I would imagine want to be considered tough.  Guess what... it isn't always easy.  If I remember correctly the first step is hard, but it gets easier.  If I am correct God wants to see that first step.  A step of faith if you will, and then he makes it easier.  Trust me your step won't be any harder than anything I have done I don't believe.  Love and help lives in the light.  Light = open and honest.  Nothing good comes from burying.  This will mean different things to different people, but I know I suffered a bit this week, as that helps people become reflective.  When you are reflective blog.  Tell people about it via your blog, or FB, or whatever.

A lesson learned this year at a very high price is pretending everything is o.k.- is not good.  Nothing good comes from it.  All of us are imperfect, and trust me we can all relate to other's short-comings.  If you pretend you don't have any, well then you really will not be as well liked as you would like.  Your self-perception of how you are liked is a false view.  Don't trust it.  Trust in whatever is true.

I hope that helps.  :)


p.s.  love you all!!!   :)

p.p.s  If you want to just get lost check this out!!  Jen Gray's blog.  Unbelievable!!!  

the next in the p.s. line whatever the hell that is:   Fast Metric Mile is Saturday morning!!!  Gonna bring it!!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nothing Nice To Say

I have nothing nice to say.  I am going to save all comments on what is bugging me for another day... maybe tomorrow.  I will leave it at that, for fear my colorful language takes over.

I will speak privately of my yesterday with others.

I had a track workout, which went pretty well.  I hit some good speeds for me, so I was happy about that.

That's it!!

Still want to get in a nasty remark, but will hold off.  :)

Btw I follow two new bloggers.  A pair of Irish twins.  They wear their heart on their sleeves.  I love that.  They are real, and they just started. Olga and Nancy Wanted to give them a blurb!!!  :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

All Kinds of Things

I have a lot on my mind it seems.  Some not so important, and some stuff important to me.  Stuff that really affected me at work.  Not really in a bad way, but kind of a hard way.  I am kind of scared to talk about the hard stuff, because... well... intimidated I guess.  So let's start off with some little stuff.

My new running shoes rock.  You know how you feel with new running shoes once they are broken in, you run on pillows??  That is how I feel now.  New shoes rock!!!

Maybe I should have done a list, that might have worked better.  Oh well, I may switch over, we'll see.  It isn't like I am blogging with my stupid ass phone.  :)  Starting Thursday if I show up to work at what was once   the 20 minutes after the 2-1/2 hours early I'd like to be, I'll be 20 minutes late.  Some dill-hole decided to justify his job and tell everyone no one can punch in 5 minutes before they are scheduled.  Even manager's and someone who really works solo like me.  I know I put where I worked here, and if someone read it they'd see it.  Don't care. They didn't think it through, and now they paid some idiot money to come up with this stupid policy.  Come on!!!  What are you gonna do?  I thought it through, and decided to schedule myself at 5:00 am.  It isn't like I don't wake up early enough.  I may start not setting my alarm for 1:30 just to be safe though.  :)

I almost forgot my run yesterday morning was just a 4-1/4 miler at 8:38 pace.  I only biked to work and back.  I just chilled, grilled, and spent way too much time on the phone getting my internet back up.  It took so long, cause when I was putting in my username there was a space before it, so it kept not working.  On the bright side I can speak fluent Indian now.  :)

So work... hmmm.  The music turned sad again, like it did last summer.  I know the reason, it is the same reason as my insomnia from Sunday.  Some people have too much stuff to deal with.  It isn't cause they aren't strong, but probably because they have too much going on to properly deal.  If you have too much to deal with you bury it.  You don't deal with it.  God wants to see that doesn't happen, so he is unloading some of the burden to people who are able to handle some of the excess burden.  It is an un-seen miracle.  I deal with the excess sadness.  I don't know if there is more for me, but yesterday my heart sure was burdened.  Maybe more today.  I know for the person who this is being done for God sure loves.  I do too.  I am glad I can help in this way, and I believe someone else is taking some other stuff.  During the sad music Gina's smart ass  kept me smiling here and there.  She is such a dick!!!  :)

Tonight I run in circles.  That should be fun.  We still have to figure out our fast mile too, as to when it is.  Those 3 guys will kick my ass.  I'll smack talk them up until then though.  :)

Blackhawks and Sox win.  That is huge for the Hawks, but they have been playing better on the road then at home.  Need to bring the A game at home still.  San Jose is a great team.

Hope everyone has a great day!!

Love you all!!!  :)

xo's  :)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It is the cord to the moem that is bad

Creative title I know. I know I know you are all wondering what will I do what will I do?? Hmmmmmmm...That nice little girl: (read--tourettes-laced tirade) Gina is going to get it, but not here.... This time!!

In other news I didn't have time for a workout. My insomnia made me go in late to work. No bike ride. Blessing in grocery shopping done. I was able to cut the grass too. Lawn always looks nice after that. I then cooked on the grill, and got a bit philosophical I guess. What new???

I will say this. My wife and I have a good marriage. We don't do everything together, but we work together. Many times we do things on our own. I am a faithful husband, and have always been.

My heart picks up on other's sadness. I don't always know the reason. I trust it though, and I am going to let you know about it, because it hurts me too much not to. It is a gift. All sadness must be dealt with. I help with that. God has his reasons I am sure.

With Love

Me!!! :)


P.S. Phone still--forgive typo's

Will look at other blogs when my internet!! :)

Really hope everyone has a great day!! :)

Monday, May 17, 2010


Well my internet is down!! Boooo!! Looks like my modem is jacked, or just from provider's end. Who knows?? I am blgging with my phone. :)

Anyway yesterday I ended up going 76 of the intended 100 miles I wanted to go. My knee was bugging me. That really made my last 10-15 miles hard. It isn't anything serious. I am fine now. Weird!!

I learned a lot tonight during my insomnia thing I have now. I wanna share. Maybe not yet though.

well anyway gonna leave it at that.

You know I love you all!!

Xo's. :)

P.S. Forgive any typos. You try blogging with this little ass phone!!! :)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Shoot Don't really have a Title... That sucks!!

Not really sure what I am going to write.  Hold on, I am going to check the White Sox.  I went to bed, and knew they were down 4-1.  I saw they won, but want to check the box score.  Be back in a minute.  4-run 7th.  I am telling you watch out for those guys... we is going to be good!!  We know how to bring home the pennants that fly forever.  I come from a family of Cubs fans, so it is with great honor I bust them down!!!  Been a Sox fan since 1977.  I should say more of a South Side fan.  I liked the Cubs here and there, but pretty much on the Chicago is split side now.  Plus I root for the Pirates now right??  Ha ha!!!  :)

Every year I do the 25K I get injured.  I cannot run too much.  I learned from last years Spring Marathon, if I take a little time off from running after my long race, I can come back after a week pretty good.  That being said I have run at least a few miles after two days off post all my marathons....4 as we speak.

Why the marathon???  Cause I love training for it.  Putting aside a good amount of time to accomplish something.  It isn't a sacrifice for me, cause I love it.  Also it is an accomplishment.  You know the crazy low percentage of people who walked the earth who have done one of those.  IM even more so.  We wanna make ourselves special... stand out in a way.  What is wrong with that??  I think nothing.  Why not??  Go for it is what I say.  Have fun!!  We all have gifts and we can all stand out.  Why not do it.

No need to hide in your shell.  The turtle wins the race, but his head is out.  He doesn't run blind.  Rabbit doesn't win, cause the fucker is too busy eating my damn feet!!!


I know I am a nut!!!

Big day planned.  tell you about it later.

Love you all!!

xo's  :)

What an idiot.  Yesterday 12.13 miles @8:46 pace.   :)  


Saturday, May 15, 2010

For Fuck's Sake!!!

That is what I told my wife before I went to Beau's house.... at least 10 times.   Clean up this house for fuck's sake.  It is a fucking mess!!!  I M sure she told me to fuck off around 10 times. We were just kidding of course.  I don't really care, and we were just laughing.  My potty mouth was so bad yesterday, I was back in my tourettes mode. 

My day started out by telling Gina This:

You Fucking Pansie ass!!!! Fucking Man-up Holy shit!!!! What kind of lame ass shitty status update is that!!!! Shit like that is just going to get my fucking turrets going!!!! :)
I even misspelled tourettes.   Fuck you Blogger, I think that is spelled right you dumb ass.  Leave the red lines to yourself.  

16 miles yesterday on the bike.  Heavy stuff to two people.  If anyone on Twitter creeps me they know of one.  The other one is not known.  That was e-mail.  

The one from e-mail is a secret!!!  Gonna be hard not to send more e-mails, bet they will be forthcoming.  Think about her a lot for some reason.  I can think of anyone at any one time.  God's will be done though, so all will end up fine.  

Today  run my 12.  Legs should be fine.

Hope you all have a good one.  Love you all.... to the e-mail recipient!!!  Love uuuuuu tons!!!

Love you all tons though.  :)

cya!!!  =)

Fuck Off Gina you bitch!!!!   :)  I M a lot more manly than you you fucking pansie ass!!!!!

Ha Ha!!!!   :)

well one person just needs to be herself.  Fuck!!  She is weird!!!  Quit trying to be Michael Jordan and just be your fucking self.  Shit!!! (she is from H.S, and a blogger. She should know who she is. Oh it isn't Jen Gray either, cause she is GREAT!!!)  Weird fucker from work friend requested me.....Um what???!!!!  Fuck You- you weird fucker!!!  :)

cya!!!  :) 

Gina said I M brutally honest on this thing.  Guess so.  :)   

Friday, May 14, 2010

Crappy Weather

Well it appears crappy weather has been around many areas.  Holland too.  Floods in Chicago, Snow in Colorado, Tornadoes in Tornado alley, and rain in several areas.  Sun comes out today!!!   I noticed people were having some personal rainy days too.  God has his hands in all things.

I am not really feeling inspired to write today.  I think I knew that was going to happen.  Oh well shit happens.

My day.  How about that??  I putzed before work.  Really the only reason I didn't go in super early, was the weather sucked, and I knew I really didn't have much to do after work.  So I figured I'd go in late and work late.  I went in late (1/2 hour early)  didn't stay much past my regular time.  Short day of work!!!  :)  I was a bit tired, so I thought I'd take a nap.  Not sure if I slept, but I noticed eventually the sun peaked out.  That was it.  I took my bike out for a 10 miler.  Not a huge workout, but just something to get the blood flowing.  After that I took the dogs for a walk.

Goals this weekend are...well to bike a lot obviously.  I'd like to get a 12 miler in running too.  I may wait til Sunday... all depends on the legs.

Bayshore....  looks like I will be running a good portion of the Bayshore marathon.  Jerry needs 8:12's to qualify, and he goes out too fast!!!  I will at least run the first half + with him.  I am good at running a good slow pace.  That should be fun.

Something funny about running.  I was sore from running 8:04-8:07's, and people who ran 7:15's for 20 on race day were fine.  My heart rate was at a higher percentage than theirs though.  Weird huh???

Oh well that is it!!!


Oh and LeBron is no heir apparent.  There is only one Jordan!!!  LeBron always looks mad doesn't he??  Jordan always had a great smile.  Just an observation, not sure if it means anything.  I think it means have fun, and you will succeed.  Be yourself, don't try and be someone else.  Maybe he is trying to be the heir apparent, because he thinks people want him to be that.  Nope...gotta be yourself.  Once you learn that, things fall into place!!!

Ha!!!  life's lessons via basketball... who knew??


Thursday, May 13, 2010

I Like Strawberries!!

Yep, now you know my secret.  I could eat pounds and pounds.   I don't like them quite as much as tomatoes, but still like them none the less.  (none the less lol)

Yesterday I made an executive decision and decided to take off from the track.  I raced a pretty longish race last weekend, and wanna stay healthy for the important part of my season... marathon training.  Although saying that, that dang 5K is important to me.  22:00 is going down.  I am thinking of p.r.'ing by 5 minutes on that race.  Ha Ha!!!  j/k. 

I planned on doing my 6.2 mile loop, but cut it short at 5 miles.  Glad I did... legs still have a bit of race in them.  I haven't even biked to work yet this week, so really taking time off.  No biking due to rain, not from anything else...well yesterday was listening to "Let Love In" 5000 times b4 work.  I love the Goo Goo Dolls. 

wanna know something else??

Love all of you too.  :)

Wish I could let everyone know how I feel.

u have no idea!!!

God is great!!!  :)

That is it for today... not going to talk about the White Sox...bastards.... oh and yes I saw the stupid Cubs won... bastards!! 

Wanna know a secret????  I would have bet long on the Rays the year they went to the World Series.  I am a good long picker.  Oakland the year they lost on Jeter's stupid over-rated play.  Anaheim the year they won.  Rays their year.  Rays look good this year, but I still am long on the White Sox!!  :))

Love you all!!

xo's   =)

Hope everyone has a great day!!!  :)))))

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Smattering of Things

A list-- I am due

  • Sucks that Becky stopped blogging.  It is only the first day...boooooooo
  • My friend Mike said I was nuts after reading yesterday's post.
  • I love honesty... the good and the bad!!  
  • There is no greater compliment then when one has the courage to be honest with you.
  • It shows character.
  • Gina said my post was great!!  See- it is why I share the hidden stuff with her.
  • My brother Jim had a dream the night I went into the hospital.
  • It let him know of some of the hidden stuff.
  • He posted lyrics to a REM song on my wall.
  • Everything I have said is true.  
  • except that I won't comment on blogs.  I still will... I don't know why...I just do.
  • I love it when people are open and honest.  I love that.
  • I ran my 4.25 mile route yesterday before work.
  • Tonight I run in circles.
  • Hawks win--Sox win--Pirates got pounded.  Never check the Cubs.  
  • Boston beat the hell out of Cleveland--that is a surprise.
Really got nothing today!!  :)

Hope everyone has a great day!!!

God sure is pretty amazing huh??  He knows what he is doing, and I tell you that makes me feel relieved--cause I sure don't know what I am doing.  :)

You all are pretty great!!!

Love You!!!  :)

xo's   :)

p.s. this song rocks!!!!

p.p.s  The birds didn't speak.  God had them at the top of the trees... a ton of them.  I saw that several times.  Parable of faith and birds in the tops of trees.  Don't want you really thinking I am crazy.  :)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

5000 and Fast Mile

Yesterday I did get a little extra biking in.  Just made the mileage yesterday between 15-16 miles.  I just used my work-bike not my road bike, so definitely go a bit slower.  I did hit a milestone though.  My work bike went over the 5000 mile mark, so that is pretty cool.  That is a lot of gas savings.

Also me and a few guys from work are going to do a fast mile a week from Saturday.  Johnny, Emmanuel, me, and Brian K, as of now.  Last time I did it was a few years back when my 5K time was 3 minutes slower or so then what it was now.  My time then was 6:43.  Each lap got slower and slower.  Now I'd like to get close to 6:00 I guess.  One thing about it, is it is HARD!!!  Fast miles are brutal!!

I am thinking one other thing here.  I am going to stop commenting so much on blogs.  Only the ones I feel comfortable with now.  I have been doing it long enough.  If people don't feel comfortable with me, then screw them.  That is my thought.  I am usually pretty nice during hard times, and can be a smart ass other times.  It isn't hard to get to know me.

I doubt I am arrogant, as I have showed all parts of myself.  Nothing in what I do is very spectacular I know that, so going to chill out a bit.  I am not going to let anyone rain on my parade.  Let's just say I had a bad experience with one.  I was soooo angry I wanted to dump her right away, but God turned my heart. 

She saw my anger in full force... it doesn't show its ugly head very often, but it does.  I don't always trust my anger, but I did trust it that morning.  I hate arrogance, and hope I don't exhibit any of those characteristics.  I don't get a good read on how I am perceived, because I throw myself out there. 

Don't worry about it being you, if you didn't get an angry message from me it wasn't you.

If I am arrogant I apologize, definitely not intended.  Hope that isn't the case, but what do I have to be arrogant about??  I know things.  I don't share all my hidden stuff that go  on, because...well not sure how much you should know.

I haven't told you of the lady in the hospital who told me I need to have the patience of Job, and then shortly after I suffered 6 days.  That was pre-hospital. 

I didn't tell you after those 6 days of suffering I thought I was evil.  I wanted to be dead, but then I saw the angel, and gave him $20 of the $21 dollars I had in my wallet. 

I didn't tell you I saw birds in the tops of the trees all those days after, telling me I was not evil.  You'd have to read the gospels for that parable.

I didn't tell you the meaning of the eye of the needle parable, although I know it.  The eye of the needle does have a meaning, beyond just who can squeeze through an eye of the needle.

I have seen a lot and I have endured a lot.  All hidden. 


That is it isn't it??  What if I am not??  scary, I know.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of (Is it wisdom or knowledge???) 

I forget. 

Anyway, I'll let you know one thing here, I am not crazy.  I have a lot of faith, as that is my journey.  Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations right???  Hospital was a trial.  I was judged guilty, and put to my death.  Falsely obviously God saved me. 

The end of the Journey was another trial.  I deleted.  The end of Heimleblog was another trial, and I was judged crazy by family.  I deleted.

I have one more thing to endure beyond my day to day stuff I suffer.  I have to suffer day to day, as it helps make you people more reflective.  You can't see, and you can't know, and you cannot understand yet. 

My journey has an ending point/ new beginning.  It happens this fall.  Gina had a vision of the ending point, as that is her gift.  That is why I can tell her stuff.  I guess that helps me in some way.

Sure seems like I am saying a lot of stuff here though. 

Auto feed to my FB and Twitter wall too.  lol

When I open up like this I feel so much better.  :)

Take Care!!!


Monday, May 10, 2010


That was my time in the Riverbank.  Goal was 2:05, so not too bad for a 15.53 mile race.  On map my run it said my pace was 8:04, and on the Riverbank results it said 8:07.  I assumed 8:07 was clock time pace.  Not too concerned with actually doing the math to figure it out.  Gonna say 8:04 was the correct one.  O.K. I did the math and it came out as 8:05.  SCREW IT!!!!  :)

Yesterday I got a 60 miler in.  My legs really didn't feel like walking, but they plodded me through 60 miles with a lunch in between.  Lisa and Hailey went and saw Iron Man 2.  We both like Robert Downey Jr.  We know his struggles with substance abuse, but he sure is a good actor.  I know dealing with substance abuse probably makes a life tough.  Heck if I didn't know it I sure learned it this year. 

I think the weather is supposed to be pretty nice today, so I may tack on some extra biking miles, but I think more importantly, I am going to take time to go for a walk with @ Lisa.  We had a pretty good talk yesterday.  I'll put it this way.  Motherhood is hard, and at a certain point in time the child has to do some stuff on her own. Grow up, take responsibility.  A mom can only do so much.  There are good examples in this house to follow, and there are bad ones.  Hope she takes after the good ones.  There is also a good example in Hawaii.  The book is still out in which direction gets taken. 

How's that???   :) 

meanwhile one of the bad examples is up at 4:00 am playing video games talking through some head piece thing.  :)   I am sure all 38 year olds or whatever are doing the same thing. 

Here is one thing about me, for better or worse, I will eventually call it as I see it.... I have a feeling it is for better, cause it is the truth, so what the heck!!! 

Hope everyone has a good week!!!  :)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Waking Up At My Pace

8:04 is when I looked at my clock, and that was my pace.  I woke up a few times before that, but stayed in bed sleeping til 8:00.  DeBoer canceled and  too cold for the Beer tent is what Lisa said.  PHEW!!!  I just hung out at Alan's all day, and went to bed after that. 

Race is the race, you know how I race.  My first mile was 8:00 and it dropped steadily til about mile 7.  Then I picked up the effort.  I know I negative split that sucker, and that is saying something, because the hills are on the 2nd half.  I will tell you one thing, I passed a ton of people on the 2nd half.  There was one girl who was zooming too.  I couldn't keep up with her, but I passed her with a mile left.  I was surprised, cause she looked real strong.  I got passed by a couple people with a mile left so they were strong strong.  My calves gave me a bit of a problem starting at mile 13, but they held off.  I started sucking my salt water at that point pretty steadily.  :)  bleh!!!  :)

Most of Alan's people had a good day.  A couple went out too fast, hopefully they will learn from it. 

Riverbank numbers post blog reading:  (since I started reading the blogs)  not sure if post blog reading makes sense. 

18 minutes off my P.R. the last two years!!! 

Thanks!!!!  :)

Looks like it is going to be a nice day, so hope you have a good one!!

xo's!!  :)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Going To Be a Wet One!!

Whoop Whoop!!!!  or is it Woop  Woop!!!  hmmm, guess the red lines tell the story.  Whoop Whoop it is!!!  How in the heck is hmmm not a word????  Stupid blogger!!!

I guess what I do on a day like this is pre-game.  I am hungry, so I am going to eat the better part of 94,000 calories this morning,  or attempt to.  That should be good, because a lot of times before my long runs I forget to eat.  What with all the procrastinating I do.  Blogging, Fb'ing, blog reading, sports scores checking... I can get busy.

I'll get it out of the way now... Stupid Ass Sox!!!  Kills me to see them lose, because I think they are really good, and they just cannot get traction.  How bout them Hawks!!!!  Woop Woop!!!  oops misspelled that... Whoop Whoop!!!!  :)  I wonder what the blogger designers were thinking when they let whoop pass  the word test, and woop didn't???  hmmmmm perhaps a blog post for another day.  Or is it Firefox, or Windows that does the red lines????   hmm!!! 

Anyway.... pre-race you know my goals.  First half slowish, and pick it up in the 2nd half.  Slowish first half = strong finish.  It also equals passing a lot of people on the hills.  That is a great feeling.  Hope Brian Sell isn't running today, wouldn't want to make him look foolish!!!  Just kidding he won it one year, and came in 2nd another.   I see Ryan Shay came in 4th in 2007.  Hanson Brooks will be out in full force, but don't think they have a Brian Sell on the team just yet.  Those don't pop up every day.  Rochester, MI will be well represented at the finish though, I am sure.  Men and Women.

Anyway, my goal is 2:05.  Will I hit it??? Don't know.  I'll try my best. I'll have fun, and that is what it is all about.  We do it cause it is fun.  It is a great course, a great distance, and they put on a great race.  A lot of fans come out to spectate, and local High Schools bring out their cheer leaders.  Fun Fun!!!

Same as last year, I will have to pace myself during the post-race festivities.  Who doesn't want to nap after racing 15 + miles???  I know I sure do.  We'll see.

Here is a picture of the elite's from last years race.  Course was an out and back last year due to floods.  We got to see the elites, which was neat.  Ummmm fast!!!  No floods this year, but cold rain. 

That is it for today!!  Just excited about getting the racing going.  Perfect conditions for me.  Sloppy cold weather.

Have a good one!!!  xo's  :)

Friday, May 7, 2010

Great Day!!

Sheesh, a lot of great things happened yesterday!!

I could write a book on everything, but let's just say I laughed a lot, and it was just a good day for me.  Stupid ass Sox lost, but still can't rain on my parade...  Ha Ha!!!  It is raining out though, and there will be tulip time parades.  I don't go to any of the parades, except the Saturday big one.  Only reason I go to that one is Alan's house is on the parade route.  He has a party, and he has beer!!!  :)

The Gauntlet for Saturday:
  • 25 K race
  • Alan's party + beer
  • DeBoer party + beer
  • Beer tent + beer  (hope the same band plays.... lead singer was HOT!!!  :) 
  • Don't tell Lisa I said that!!!  ;)  Ha Ha!! j/k she thought she was too.  :)

I got a little run in yesterday.  It ended up being 4.25 miles @ 9:18 pace I think.  I just logged it, you'd think I'd remember for sure.   SHEESH!!!  :)

I am getting nervous for the race, cause it is the U.S. Championship for that distance, and I am going for it!!!  Ha Ha!!  j/k

Have a good one!!!

xo's   :)

p.s. saw @ Lisa Dutch dance last night.  She forgot she had to dance on Thursday, and it was a good day for me to watch.  Glad I did, cause Helen cannot dance tonight, so saw her too.  Looks like I'll see @ Lisa dance tonight too.  Bob beat me again!!!  DRAT!!!  I'll get him on the track!!  Ha Ha!!  j/k me getting him is me not letting him lap me.  :)

I want you to know something.  I wrote this one other place... or something to that effect.  I have been through life.  I have been through some serious stuff, and I shared with many of you.  You all know a good portion of it.  On my good days, I laugh, and have fun.  I have a colorful sense of humor.  My wife gets it, and so do my colorful friends, and many of you do too.  (Ha Ha!!! not that readers are not friends)  Good days expect to see some wacky stuff, bad days you will know.  My journey is to share it all.  That is what I do.

Open and honest is better than the other way.  You cannot do it on your own, but you will have help.  The journey is a spiritual one.  Truth = light.  Open and honest is a gift.  It will all come out, but in time.  I didn't pick you,  God did.  Heck, I didn't pick me either, God did.  

Wanted you to know that.   :)  

This is what open and honest looks like:  Real smiles!!


Thursday, May 6, 2010

Slept Late!!! ;)

Oh how I hate those days after the track.  I like being full of energy, and that sure doesn't happen on 3+ hours of sleep.  I slept good last night.  I went to bed around my normal time.  I missed Lisa's Dutch Dancing, but will hit it up on Friday.  Lisa's partner is good friends with us.  She used to be our H.R. for quite a while.  Her husband is one of the "Fast Feet"  in our group.  Bob and I used to have a contest every year to see who would see the Dutch Dancing the most.  He always always wins.  :)

The two do look cute doing it.  Helen is really good with the high kicks, and Lisa is cute when she does her thing.  ;)  It is fun watching them, and I am proud that Lisa does it.  She looks pretty in her uniform.  I will show a picture of her in it.  (eyes closed) 

I  should tell her, her pictures are being pasted in more and more areas via the interwebnets.  She is shy-ish, and I do so love those punches to the gut.  ;)

Workouts yesterday:  Yeah right!!! (bike to work and back)

Today, I may get a bit of a run in, nothing too major and nothing too fast.

Have a great day!!! 

Hawks and Sox win, so that is a good day for me. 

xo's.  :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Typical Track Morning

Yep, you guessed it.  Up early post-track night.  I don't know really why that happens.  I went to bed close to 9:00, and am up by 1:00.  I was up earlier actually.  It doesn't really bug me though.  I am blessed with a ton of energy.  You know for as long as I remember most days I wake up, and I am awake.  I drink coffee, but I am wide awake before that.  Even in College I had a M-W-F class at 8:00 a.m. my final year or so.  I was too poor to buy an alarm clock, but still always woke up on time for the class, except for like maybe once or twice.  My guess that was a Friday class.  ;)

Well anyway,  we had track a day early due to the longish race on Saturday.  My workout was 4-1000's @ full recovery.  Alan is always unpredictable.  My pace for all put together was 6:55.  I was pretty happy about that, especially since it was pretty windy, and all my final 100 M were against a pretty decent wind.  Oh I also tacked on some extra miles on the bike too.  Not a ton, but 15 total for the day I think, or so.  It was a nice day out, so just took the long way home.

I transplanted a couple of plants.  One a big honking grass.  Holy crap, might have been easier to dig out a Redwood with a fork.  Wasn't expecting that.  The other one was easy.  Lisa does most of the weeding, and watering, etc... as the spring/summer goes on.  I help out here and there, but usually if we are planting stuff.  I don't have too much else to do for the rest of the warm months, except cutting the grass. 

Tonight I have to stay up late, as I am going to watch @ Lisa dutch dance.  I think it starts at 8:00.  I'll just bike up there and back probably, we'll see.  Maybe I'll drive with Lisa too.  Hope I am not tired.  If I am perhaps I'll take a nap outside.

I sound tired don't I???  I don't feel it, but know I am not my typical silly self.  We'll see how the day goes.

Take care!!!

xo's  :)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

WOAH!!! Blogger Works Again!!!

Boy I missed a day of blogging, and I sure did miss it.  Not so much yesterday, but sure would not have felt very happy if I couldn't do it today.  Of course I have no idea what to write.  Hmm!!

Sunday, I woke up relatively earlyish (late for me)  I don't even remember what time it was, but I think it was light out.  :)  I got some laundry done, and the dishes....House was a mess.  Lisa and I are not the best housekeepers.  :)

Here is what Lisa did on Sunday, and I didn't do much more.  :)

No workouts to speak of yesterday.  A bike to work and back, and then I had to cut the grass.  I also got the tomato plants planted.  We just picked them up at our local lumber yard.  They sell them there.  I think Lisa picked up some cous cous from the local lumber yard too, along with some cereal.  I am going to have to pick me up a cheap pair of sunglasses from the local lumber yard today I think.  Before long I will want to swim in Lake Michigan with them, so I can go and get me another pair!!  :)

Oh well, guess I don't really have much today, but sure am glad blogger works.  We run on the track tonight.  It is an easy one for me.  3-1200's @ full recovery.  4-mile warm up /cool down.  The workout I wait for all season.  Lisa is dutch dancing tonight and most of the week.  I'll try and go out and see her once or twice.

Hope you all have a great week!!!

xo's  :)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

DANG!!! Racing is Hard

Zapped all my energy out that one did.  I was tired when I came home, and decided to sit outside all day.  I had so much I wanted to do, and so little I did do.  Had a good race though, so today maybe I'll get some stuff done.  :)

Hold on a second, I am going to get some coffee.  Might as well start this day right. 

Sorry to make you wait,  I know how you hang on my every word, but coffee is coffee.

 Okay so here it is.  I still needed a semi-long run on this day, so I did close to a 4 mile loop, it ended up being 3.8 something miles.  I was amped up a bit for the race, as I did the loop @ 8:16 pace.  Then I wait for the 5-miler.  I don't get nervous for races, as I always have a plan.  My plan is a pace not a victory, that is for sure.  Very little pressure on me. 

Off we go.  I think the mile markers were a bit messed up, but I'll give you my times on them.  It may have only been the 4th mile marker that was out of whack.  I hit mile 1 in 7:24'ish.  That was the only uphill, and it really is just a little incline.  It is what we run in the winter, so I know it well.  Mile 2 I hit at 14:50' something.  I am on pace.  I am pretty confident of  my pace, so no pressure added.  I realize I still have 3 miles left though, and am putting in a pretty good effort....  if you know what I mean.   :)

Mile 3 I hit at 21:50 something.  See  the mile markers are weird.  Mile 4 I hit at 30:30 or something like that.  I am like Oh No!!  Going to get my time.  I pick up the pace, I am going to hit my time.  As I make the final turn, and realize I have maybe 1/4 mile left or so, I look at my clock, and realize I am golden.  I will hit my time.  I cross the line 36:56.  That comes out to 7:25s.  I am happy!!!  A 2:40 something P.R. on a 5 mile race....4.97 to be exact. 

What I learned from this race is a 2 hour Riverbank is probably not going to happen.  7:25s on a easy course was pretty hard for me.  Low 8:00's is what I'll shoot for, not sure what that will put me at, but I assume low 2 hours. I'll shoot for 2:05.  that will still be an 8 minute P.R. off my 2 week old P.R.  :)

8K's are hard races!!!  Short enough to go fast, but long enough to hurt.  I can't wait to start my training for the Diemer  5K.  That sucker is going down.  I'll be nervous for that race, cause that is one I will try to win.  Ha Ha!!  Just kidding.  The winners will be 7 minutes or so quicker than me.  :)

Wish you all were having a great weekend, but know not all are.  :(

xo's   :)

Saturday, May 1, 2010


Last year the goal was 8:00's on the 8K.  This year it is 7:30's.  I haven't been running 7:30's really too much, so I think I can be a bit quicker than that.  I guess at mile 4, I'd like to be at 30 minutes, and then kick it in from there. 

You know what would be a lot easier???  If I just pasted it here.  I think I will.  I have been sending this message out to friends who I care about.  Some of the Journey readers already know this, but guess everyone should.  It is part of my past and a part of me.  I don't particularly want to hide it.  You know why??  I don't want anyone to think I am fabulous, cause I guarantee you I am not!!!  I have my past, and it wasn't always fun and games.  No one's ever is.  On the whole I'd hope we all have more enjoyable moments then the hard rain days. 

For the record, I sent this originally to someone I don't really know that well, but for some non-random reason felt really comfortable telling her.  We have become friends out of the blue.  A lot of you might know me this way.  :)  She is great, and me and her husband hung out for a couple years after H.S. perhaps a bit even during H.S.  who can remember crap 78 years ago??  As you can imagine we had some pretty crazy times!!!   I haven't matured a bit since.  :)

Here it is:  edited out personal names and stuff

Let him know a little about me. This is for you too I guess. I know weird opening up to you, but I feel comfortable for some reason. Life????!!!

-1992 6- Days P.I.C.U. Psychiatric Intensive Care
-Schizophrenic Diagnosis
-1 year or so of horrible depression
-gained 40 lbs. or so (wanted to sleep 100 hours each day)
-Never took any pills, since P.I.C.U. (didn't believe in diagnosis)

- Worked at Menards since 1994
- only missed 3 days of work- all together. (pneumonia) (2000??)
- moved up dept. manager and back down
- Great position now M-F out at 2:00 p.m. every day later if I want
- My best friend and Brother-in-law came out of the closet 10 years or so ago.
- Lisa's (wife) and her whole side of the family thought I was nuts as recent as this winter I guess.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know some things about me. I think guys worry about how they perceive others viewing them. Girls are a little more laid back about that stuff.

It's cool!! :)

that's my story and I am sticking to it!!  :)

Goal today I guess is to beat 37:30.  P.R. is 39:40... going from memory, but it is pretty close to that. 

I'll let you know.  :)

Have a good one!!!  xo's   :)