Tuesday, May 11, 2010

5000 and Fast Mile

Yesterday I did get a little extra biking in.  Just made the mileage yesterday between 15-16 miles.  I just used my work-bike not my road bike, so definitely go a bit slower.  I did hit a milestone though.  My work bike went over the 5000 mile mark, so that is pretty cool.  That is a lot of gas savings.

Also me and a few guys from work are going to do a fast mile a week from Saturday.  Johnny, Emmanuel, me, and Brian K, as of now.  Last time I did it was a few years back when my 5K time was 3 minutes slower or so then what it was now.  My time then was 6:43.  Each lap got slower and slower.  Now I'd like to get close to 6:00 I guess.  One thing about it, is it is HARD!!!  Fast miles are brutal!!

I am thinking one other thing here.  I am going to stop commenting so much on blogs.  Only the ones I feel comfortable with now.  I have been doing it long enough.  If people don't feel comfortable with me, then screw them.  That is my thought.  I am usually pretty nice during hard times, and can be a smart ass other times.  It isn't hard to get to know me.

I doubt I am arrogant, as I have showed all parts of myself.  Nothing in what I do is very spectacular I know that, so going to chill out a bit.  I am not going to let anyone rain on my parade.  Let's just say I had a bad experience with one.  I was soooo angry I wanted to dump her right away, but God turned my heart. 

She saw my anger in full force... it doesn't show its ugly head very often, but it does.  I don't always trust my anger, but I did trust it that morning.  I hate arrogance, and hope I don't exhibit any of those characteristics.  I don't get a good read on how I am perceived, because I throw myself out there. 

Don't worry about it being you, if you didn't get an angry message from me it wasn't you.

If I am arrogant I apologize, definitely not intended.  Hope that isn't the case, but what do I have to be arrogant about??  I know things.  I don't share all my hidden stuff that go  on, because...well not sure how much you should know.

I haven't told you of the lady in the hospital who told me I need to have the patience of Job, and then shortly after I suffered 6 days.  That was pre-hospital. 

I didn't tell you after those 6 days of suffering I thought I was evil.  I wanted to be dead, but then I saw the angel, and gave him $20 of the $21 dollars I had in my wallet. 

I didn't tell you I saw birds in the tops of the trees all those days after, telling me I was not evil.  You'd have to read the gospels for that parable.

I didn't tell you the meaning of the eye of the needle parable, although I know it.  The eye of the needle does have a meaning, beyond just who can squeeze through an eye of the needle.

I have seen a lot and I have endured a lot.  All hidden. 


That is it isn't it??  What if I am not??  scary, I know.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of (Is it wisdom or knowledge???) 

I forget. 

Anyway, I'll let you know one thing here, I am not crazy.  I have a lot of faith, as that is my journey.  Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations right???  Hospital was a trial.  I was judged guilty, and put to my death.  Falsely obviously God saved me. 

The end of the Journey was another trial.  I deleted.  The end of Heimleblog was another trial, and I was judged crazy by family.  I deleted.

I have one more thing to endure beyond my day to day stuff I suffer.  I have to suffer day to day, as it helps make you people more reflective.  You can't see, and you can't know, and you cannot understand yet. 

My journey has an ending point/ new beginning.  It happens this fall.  Gina had a vision of the ending point, as that is her gift.  That is why I can tell her stuff.  I guess that helps me in some way.

Sure seems like I am saying a lot of stuff here though. 

Auto feed to my FB and Twitter wall too.  lol

When I open up like this I feel so much better.  :)

Take Care!!!



Toni McAlister said...

Wow. I think we all can relate...I can! I have spent so much time in and out of hospitals for neurological reasons I have about 5 Years I can't account for. I wanted to die so badly I got caught trying too. Its good you understand "faith" unfortunatly its something I have to ask for daily...I don't have it down yet, but I'm working on it ;-) Running has been mentally healing for me. Blocked out alot of confusion. At one point I was on 32 medications a DAY I would have been concidered an unfit mom but they were all Dr. Perscribed.
Does that make sence now when I'm irritated cuz I don't run that particular day? Its more than just running to me. But it is exciting to see myself transform too :-D So...I think, like you said, God is the one who turned all this crap around.
Ok, now that being said...you saw an angle?? What was that like? I saw one too!
Have a good day ~ Be yourself! I tried to be like others and it sucked! Lesson learned...Its best for Toni to be Toni ;-)

~L said...

Amen Steve and Toni!