Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Some More Of The Same.

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am good. I slept good last night, and once again feel like a million bucks. I was tired after work again yesterday, so I sat down, and rested a bit before I cut the front grass. I wanted steak fajitas last night, so I stopped by the Mexican store for the 2nd day in a row. They are closed on Mondays. Who knew?  Yesterday their cooler or something was down,  and they had no meat. Sheesh.

I went to the local market right by my house to get supplies. Lisa has errands to  run,  so I ended not making them. I had meatballs left over I wanted to make into a sub sometime, not sure when. I had it last night with tortillas,  cuz that was all I had. I loaded it up with stuff, and it was good. I do like meatballs.

Anyway that is about it. I kinda wondered why I am tired after work, and then I did the math. I wake up at 3:00 AM a lot. I walk the dog,  bike to work and back most days. At work we are on our feet the whole day. 2:00 PM is the equivalent of 7:00 PM if a person wakes up at 8:00 AM. I should be fatigued a bit then I spose. I just wish I wasn't.

Today I am canning tomatoes for the first time. I am kinda excited, I was dreading it for a bit. I have a lot of tomatoes.

So, that is about it for me. Another day done,  and another day started. Should be a good one. Steak fajitas for dinner, and canning  tomatoes. I need to get gas sometime so I can cut the back grass.

On just a weird thought before I got up, I was thinking about people who use to blog. Over the years many were kinda a part of this, and now almost none are. Weird huh? 

So many people who basically disappeared. It's one of those things too where I don't really care. No one has any say over who I am. No one has any affect over me, cuz my story is not about you really. At least now it isn't. I am not tied to anyone, and I guess that is the way it is supposed to be. I imagine others are probably tied in various ways to their lives, or whatever. I just thought about the people. There have been a lot. They don't matter either.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have fun.  :)

xxoo   :)))

Laterzzz.  

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

It Don't Take Much.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I had a strange weekend. I woke up Saturday feeling like I got hit by a truck. I think it stemmed from me being tired last week. I wasn't tired when I woke up, but I was every day I got home from work. Saturday I didn't sleep for shit, if at all. I went in to work at 4:30 AM, and got my stuff done. I didn't do shit the rest of the day.

I woke up early Monday I think feeling better. I tried doing this thing, but it was dumb. I got some shit done after work, so I guess I am back to normal. I am up before my early alarm today, so I guess all is good.

We are approaching Labor Day, so a day or two off for me. Plus I have vacation coming up. I think my last day off was July 4th.

Am I missing out on anything?  It's just life. We will not get out alive, so I guess we should stay busy. There is no such thing as a perfect life any of us will make, so at least I always have money coming in. I always have bills coming in too,  but whatever. I figure if you are making money than you have less time to spend it.

I guess what I am saying is I choose to live this way. I can always make a change later if I want, but right now it's good enough.

I don't know how I would dream up a perfect life. This is good enough. I have some expectations of stuff coming up eventually, but I am comfortable now too.  Even though I have not even had a taste of the best that is yet to come.

So life goes on. What I think about me is the grass is pretty green where I live. I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I wouldn't want anyone else's life. Too many questions. So much unfinished business. Too much work for you to do. Those who have kids I cannot even imagine the amount of work.  

Wanna know what I think of me when I was a kid?  I don't care. I have no memories that are important to me. I've gone through my life. It has all been dealt with, so I carry no baggage.

My life amounts to not too much. I was never really very important, and either was my life. I am cool with that,  cuz some way knowing this makes it good.  

Perhaps unfulfilled expectations are baggage everyone carries. Life can only be good if your heart is content, and that is out of our power.

On with the school year, and Fall approaches. Bring it on I say,  cuz I can live many many days like this with my heart upbeat, and content.

Anyways, I guess that's good.

Have a good one.   :)

xxoo.   :)))

Laterzzz.   :)

Friday, August 25, 2017

Why Stop At 1?

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am already on coffee #2. That is rare territory these days. One cup is relatively pretty normal. Zero a not too distant 2nd. Two almost unheard of. It is unseasonably cold this morning, so it seems like a good idea.

Had one of those crazy days at work yesterday.  You start out getting things done. Knocking off items on your list. You start thinking maybe you can get extra done, and KAZAAM. You realize you'll never get out on time.  That is not infrequent, and I don't know where the time disappears to.

Other than that not too much yesterday. I was pretty lazy when I got home. Didn't do much the rest of the day. Paid bills, and that's about it.

Today will be more of the same. Nothing too crazy. I plan on sleeping in tomorrow. Of course I am up early today. I still could sleep a couple hours if I wanted.

So that is a bunch of nothing. A look into my day to day.  My days are pretty easy I guess. Not a ton of stuff to stress about. I don't go out of my way to make my life harder that's for sure.

There isn't a lot of stuff that makes me mad. Maybe it seems like I want to live a sheltered life. Out of view of Worldly events. I guess that's true to an extent. I just feel there is a lot of shit you can fill your head with. There are 2 sides to every argument,  and both sides are full of shit.

Your life really is about you. You aren't changing the World,  and you aren't making this place any better. If you seek out information that just makes you mad, that is dumb. If you try to share the stupid info to make others mad, well that is a special kind of dumb.

Anger is a cancer, and I bet a lot of people live with it. The better part of life is forgiveness I guess. Let bygones be bygones. Of course as I stand I am not angry. More disinterested I guess. No one had a say in who I am. No one was a part of my story, so what does that make people?  Not much? 

My story in the end was not about family,  friends, acquaintances or anything.

My story was about me finding my way. A solo journey accomplished with much help, but not by anyone walking this Earth. At the end of the day I owe no one anything.

Life is about becoming entangled. Being caught in the web it is impossible to not get tangled in. It takes a lot to overcome the natural tendency of life.

It is a good way though,  cuz like I said, you owe no one anything.

I freely give stuff, but people don't owe me anything either.

Strange huh? 

Okee dokee. I am out.

Have fun.   :)

xxoo.   :)))

Bye.   :)

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Another Song From The Underworld

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I feel like I got a good night sleep,  and I feel pretty okay I guess. It seems I wake up like this a lot.

Anyway, not much on my mind, and not much going on. Yesterday was pretty typical. Work, eat, sleep. I thought Lisa was going to pick up pizza for dinner last night. She did,  but neglected to bring any home for me,  so I ate a salad.

She assumed I was going to make something for myself, since I don't like Little Caesar's.

So I am hungry this morning, but first things first.

I think something of myself is I am tired of news pushers. I don't give a fuck, and I hate the news. I think it mostly a pile of shit. People in suits peddling their side of horseshit.

Trying to make heroes, and scapegoats,  and geniuses out of regular humans who are none of these things. Looking for the remarkable where there is none.

Life is tiring if you have to look at that shit. It is that kind of crap that probably makes people more and more angry. If you can only watch the news, or only read the news you are a lost cause. You definitely are not as smart as you THINK you are. Personally I probably like you less and less too.

Rant over.

I guess that's good. 

Cya.   :)

xxoo.  :)))

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

A Song From The Underworld.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I got a good night sleep, and I feel pretty good this morning. Yesterday was pretty busy at work,  as we are covering a vaca. Labor day is coming up, school is starting so things will mellow out til Thanksgiving,  and Christmas. I ran an 8K turkey trot last year, and I think I'll try it again this year. Something to shoot for. I don't remember my time, but I think I was ~8:30/mile pace. That shouldn't be too hard to beat, but who knows?  Maybe it is.

Other than that not much going on. We have like 6 little houses built about a mile from our house, and they had an open house last night. We walked through them,  and it definitely is something Lisa and I will probably do when we get older. We don't need anything more,  and talk about easy to keep clean. She would just have to throw away a bunch of crap.  I would too I guess, but I am not attached to anything really so no biggie.

I made meatloaf for dinner. My secret recipe is crushed flavored croutons instead of bread crumbs. I chop up celery, and onions real small too.

So I guess a day was had yesterday. Nothing too crazy, I suspect today will be more of the same.

I don't know what anything really means to you, but I suspect my life is quite a bit easier than yours. I don't really have much to worry about I don't think.

Not really much in this update I know, but that happens.

Anyway, til next time.

Cya.  :)

xxoo.   :)))

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

What Does One Do On A Monday?

Hello, and good morning. How's it going? Me, I am doing good I'd say. I slept good last night I think. I was tired when I got home yesterday. I did what I wanted. I finished listening to the book I started on Sunday. It was a book I got just for the heck of it, and it sucked me right in. One of those murder mysteries where you are not sure who did it. You think you know, then you don't, and then you think you know again. Pretty entertaining. We made some Chinese for dinner, and I picked like 20 more tomatoes.

All in all it was a day. Not unlike most others.   I assume today won't be much different either.

Now is the time I struggle. I really got nothing to say I don't think, so I would delete here, but we'll see I guess.

I know you and I are different. I see things through a different lens than you. My eyesight is not what I was born with and yours is what you were born with.

I am guilty of murder mystery thinking too. I think things are going a certain way, and maybe I made assumptions.  It is kinda typical with the style of lens I have now. Hope all things,  and believe all things.

Now I hold onto my story. I know some things still,  I just don't really know about anyone else.  I don't know your place in this mystery. I assumed at some point many would play a part,  and now I am happy to just let the story play out.

If you have a part that is for you to figure out. I don't have any burdens anymore really. Maybe that is another gift too. The knowing that I can really do nothing. This story is one that will play out, but I am not the director.

I've been willing to play my part for decades. It's taken me down many avenues, and in the end it still is just a waiting game.

Fine with me, cuz at my stage life is easy. I have nothing to prove really. I just sit here waiting for the story to play out.

Another difference between you and I. You are the director of your own story in your mind. For years I steered you in another way, and for years it's fallen on deaf ears.

It's why I make no assumptions anymore... to my knowledge. I accept the possibility that maybe none of you are part of this story, and that is kinda freeing for me.

My heart is elsewhere. Like I said yesterday none of you have any power over who I am. My strength comes from elsewhere. I win in this story, cuz of my help. On my own I am not worth much.

I am just this person not unlike you, but I was able to turn my one coin into 10, so I guess I know the 10. 5 made decades ago, and 5 more sometime between heimle blog and the wait.

I don't really know what others are doing, and it doesn't matter. Your life is not for me to figure out. I am not the director of my life, so I surely am not of yours either.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have a good one.  :)

xxoo.   :)))

Bye.  :)

Monday, August 21, 2017

Monday Is My Fonday.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going? Me, I am doing okay. I had a pretty good Sunday I'd say. I worked my 8 hours, and met up with some friends from work. I did  industry night, which lets  us have drinks half off. I had a couple beers, and a couple Jameson on the rocks. Best $20 or so I ever spent. I don't always take advantage of industry night. It is 2 miles from my house,  and like yesterday I rode my bike there.

Riding my bike there I noticed my surroundings quite a bit. Things I may have never seen before even though that route incorporates 90% of the runs I have ever done. Pretty crazy.

Speaking of running I do plan to get back at it soon. I'll buy a new pair of shoes. I have taken a lot of time off, and I feel pretty healthy. I am trim too. I ran into one of the guys I ran with. You may remember him from years back. He was the 67 year old who helped pace me at 7:30 minute miles on the track one night I had a rough night. Way back during the heimle blog days. He remarked how skinny I look, and how young. I am the only one who can lose weight while not running I guess. I blame work, and me just being pretty busy.

You also may remember that guy, cuz he paced me at 7:30 miles one year while 67, and 4 years later he was only 64. A weird reverse ager.   ;)

Anyhoo that is that. I am doing pretty good. I like my work, eat, sleep life. Today will be more of the same. I mostly enjoy my days, and I think if I died today it was a good life. Nothing I missed out on. Isn't that what it is all about. Being fulfilled.  

Hearts are crazy though. Not really ever content,  unless you get help. Like that night I gave up. I am not who I am today, without the help I received.

What does that mean for you?  I don't know. I know I am cool with me. And how I am is not dependent on anything you do.  I am strong on my own. If you are with me cool. If not cool too, cuz my whole being is not tied up with anyone walking this Earth. I am not dependent on anyone. It says don't be a surety to a stranger, and I surely am not. Me being solo was a weakness kinda for a long time. Then I overcame the 2nd time, and now it is a strength.

Anyhoo, back to my coffee.

Have a good one.  :)

xxoo.    :)))

Laterzzz.  :)

Saturday, August 19, 2017

I Guess Before I Take Hope.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. Yesterday was okay I guess as far as days go. Nothing too exciting to report. It really was work, eat, sleep. I really didn't do much. Not really much on my mind, and I don't think I thought of much.

Today the biggest thing on my mind is what to make for dinner after work. I like to usually do a good meal on Saturday if able. Not sure what yet.

I really am not stressed about too much, cuz life is pretty easy really. My future is planned out so to speak. You want to find that one thing that makes you feel good most of the time,  and I guess I have.

There is so much to my story,  and so many things,  I really cannot even tell you.  The dead years have been gone for a while so this is my new norm. Of course the dead years were not altogether dead, cuz even then I still was poor in spirit, and felt it, and knew it. Of course you have no idea what that is, or what it means. I know you don't know what it feels like cuz you can't as you are now.

There is a lot to my story that makes me the way I am now.  My blog is the wait, and I think it fitting, cuz there is more to this story,  but when it happens I don't know. Who belongs with this story I don't know really. I've made many assumptions in the past,  and maybe foolish ones. Many people have stumbled onto this thing, and many have disappeared. Perhaps that is the way it was always going to be.

Choosing this over you is probably hard. I stumbled into this long ago when the World was ugly. I saw through all the World tries to hide. It takes life for our eyes to be opened. I suspect many have had life happen, but hard hearts make you deny the pull. We hear with our hearts, but we also harden our hearts if we don't want to believe.

So your eyes have to be opened as well as your ears. Maybe they both work together. I fear if you harden your hearts as to close your ears you really are making a choice. Me, and my life over whatever this other thing is.

In the end you will be guilty of the things you've done to steer yourselves away from the message trying to be told to you.

I am a blessing for you really,  and a curse. I am trying to bring you to greener pastures, but it is hard for you to see, cuz all you've ever known was this World. How can someone as you follow as a blind sheep into whatever, when the World "appears" to be more secure.

In the end trust may be your downfall. You trust you and the World, and are afraid of the unknown other.

Yeah, this thing isn't easy. All you have is me, and I did this all solo from what you can see.

There is much that separates us. No amount of pictures or achievements will gloss over the true nature of you, and the true nature of your life.

I know where we all stand kinda. Less than what we'd like. That is for sure. The truth is tough like that. Who knew in the end we aren't all that. In the end we cannot through our own power become all that.

It is hard to tell a human the true nature of things, because our hearts were never right in the first place.

Anyway, on we go. Today is  a day,  and already I am wondering what to do for dinner.

Should be a good one.  :)

xoxo.   :)

Friday, August 18, 2017

There Was A Time...

There was a time not too long ago where I was not drinking coffee hardly. These days I mostly am having a cup before work. Not every day, but most days. It helps I have a flavored creamer. I may go for two today.

I tried visiting here yesterday, and it was dumb, and I deleted. It was surprising to me too, cuz I woke up feeling like a million bucks.  No biggie really. If able I do try and visit this thing here. 

Anyway,  I took Hope, and somewhere along the way I realized we have not had tacos yet this week. Day seized,  day made.  :)

I load my tacos with so much stuff it is ridiculous.

So the World is going on. It moves without us even commanding it. Don't you think in life most/all have the universe kind of out of whack?  It seems to me we are kind of born that way, or grow up to be that way. At the center of the universe is us, and the sun, stars, and moon operate outside our sphere of dominance.

I had a thought the other day. If you go to a grocery store, just a local one in your hometown you'll find a lot of pickles. Full size, cut up ones, pickle relish. There will be cucumbers for sale. A lot of jars, and a lot of fresh cucumbers. You expand that to every grocery store in just the U.S.   who the Hell picks all these cucumbers?  How did we get so many? 

I've never seen a cucumber farm. Then you have olives and grapes,  and all the bottles of wine. I think if you look closely at the produce industry it may not be all it's cracked up to be.

To each their own really, but some people don't eat meat, because of the way animals are treated. Who is picking your pickles? 

In the end life is just a tad bit uglier than you think. I have a ton of dog hair under my couch that needs to be vacuumed. I should probably vacuum every day. I don't.

Life is full of too much stuff. I don't think I could ever keep my house perfect, unless I hired a cucumber picker,  and changed his or her occupation.

I think at this stage we should be able to see the World is just a little uglier than we'd like. The perfect avenue seems to be missing, and altogether impossible.

We all our full of weird shit in our minds. What if in actuality this World,  and our life are just a tad bit ugly?  I'd say we all grew up with a false vision. We thought this thing life on average was okay, and we also thought the scales were  balanced pretty favorably in our direction.  The truth was always far away since day 1. Parents are to blame,  and so are our parent's parents. That makes some of you guilty. You have become a false teacher just by having a kid.

Your blessing is now found to be a curse,  cuz you stand guilty. Not to worry though. We are all guilty of some shit, meaning we are not perfect.

Society has been handed down through generations. Progress seems to be coming slowly,  but no one figured out how to change our treacherous human heart. Don't know how to make that better.

Anyway, today is Friday, and I plan on having a day.

At some point during this thing your eyes will become wide open. I don't think this thing will always be easy for you, but it leads in a good way.  I have help.

I'd type all that stuff,  cuz I feel good today, but just a tad too lazy.

Later.   :)

xoxo.  :)

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Nothing About Nothing.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I think I slept okay. I woke up a little before my alarm. A little tired maybe, but I have coffee. I could sleep longer too if I want, but I am good.

Yesterday was just a pretty normal day. Nothing too crazy. My brother stopped by from Chicago just to get away for a day. I think he goes back to work soon. He looked good, and down around 20 lbs. or so.

I think he got scared into a more active lifestyle. Walks around 4 miles/day.

That was pretty much about it. Nothing really significant happened at all. I need to make zuchinni bread. I got a lot. My tomatoes are starting to get ripe, so I will be bombarded soon. Time to get my canning supplies.

Life sure can be pretty uneventful. Day after day of just stuff. TV, movies, and books. Work, eat, sleep.

I hear some stuff happened in Charlottesville.  I don't pay attention to the news, but there are angry people angry at something I guess.

Do people feel cheated?  It seems people think they were promised the American Dream somewhere down the line, and it was snatched from their arms. People get angry, and seek the scapegoat.

If you find yourself mad like that why not seek the real cause.  You are fucked up,  cuz you believe in shit that isn't real.

There is no happily ever after. No such thing. There isn't a perfect match for you or anyone. Life will tend to disappoint,  and a lot is cuz we aren't the same year after year.

In your effort to seek out the perfect life you failed. You didn't do it. You won't either.

People would be much better off being realistic about things. Accept your imperfect lot in life. No matter your labors perfection will be out of reach. No matter what you think your heart is lacking.

Inside people is anger, and jealousy, and any number of things. I can tell you why we all fall short, but you might not like it, and I know you probably won't believe it.

There is nothing about you at all that can make you the best a person can be. You'll find no asset about you that raises you above others. We all are imperfect vessels, and our insides lack the good stuff we need to make us better people.

The truth is pretty harsh really.  I suggest not going out to try to save the World, cuz you will fail. Don't focus on the bad of other people, cuz there is plenty of that everywhere. A lot of people get snagged up in shitty propaganda. Try focusing on you. Why aren't you better as a person?  Change you, and then you can go after others.

For now everything is just about you.  The journey of us is hard enough. Don't worry about others. They play no part in you finding out about you.

Anyway, today will be a day. Don't think anything too crazy will happen.

Cya next time.  :)

Bye.  :)

Monday, August 14, 2017

Woah!! Again?

I just got up a bit ago, and look. It seems we are starting yet another week. Yesterday after work, I just relaxed. I started another book. I decided to start listening to my bounty hunter books on Sunday, and started reading my Medical Examiner forensic crime solver series. I have like 13 bounty hunter books give or take left in my series, and there are 20+ Medical Examiner books in the series. That will keep me busy a while.

I stayed up later than I wanted on Saturday, but did get up when I wanted on Sunday. I was tired though so took an easy day.

Monday is typically a pretty easy day at work, so today should go smooth. I don't really have any plans today after work. Maybe do a little cleaning,  and dinner.

Weekends can be crazy for people so Monday can be a switch back to the Clark Kent version of yourself. I pretty much remain Clark Kent all the time. My life is pretty much a vacation every day I'd say.  I like my days so to speak.  Monday is as good as any other.

Others I don't know. I know it is good for me to work so I do. I'd hate to be a person who had a job last week,  only to wake up Monday unemployed. I know a guy like that. Has a problem with booze. That's a tough Monday,  and a big fucking problem too.

Life can be tough for people I guess. Probably the thing that makes it the toughest is the damn fairy tales we all grow up with. Life is supposed to be fun. Everyone is full of some type of B.S.  Life disappoints a lot cuz our expectations aren't from reality. We grow up with a flawed idea of how our life is "supposed" to be. 

In truth we are in this World, and you really have no idea how your life should be. Everyone is kinda just shoved into society, and the multitudes follow that to their end. A reality which is made up of B.S. History books, and flawed systems, and flawed people.

You can never really get out of it, unless you question it. What if life in society doesn't really matter?  What if the points you think you are collecting within the framework of society are not actually points? 

Life is something most don't get to the bottom of. Been that way since forever.

Anyway, today I'll have a day. It shouldn't be too hard.

I'll cya later.   :)

Bye.  :)

Saturday, August 12, 2017

I Am Up Anyway.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am doing okay. I've been up a while not really doing anything. Laying in bed pretty much, so I got up and made coffee. I may have two cups today.

We had friends over last night. I think we figured if we can throw a party we can have people over. We almost never have people over, cuz Hope is an ass,  but she seems to be chilling as she ages. That's cool. I like cooking,  so we'll do that again. I stayed up past 10:00 pm. :)

I actually stayed up a couple nights this week, and I don't remember sleeping in too much so I feel a bit tired.

I'll work a little longer than normal today, as I'll do extra stuff. We will have dinner, and hopefully an early night sleep for me. Like to get up early on Sunday.

Anyway that is about it. Through work and stuff you meet a lot of people. I don't know the percentage,  but a higher proportion of people have drama in their lives than you would think.

If you live in our society you have to work. You need money to live, and working takes some responsibility. You kinda have to be dependable.

I don't know if people want to go all into the wild or something. Maybe people have dreams of being special. Find our unique niche in life.

You only have one life,  so you better make it special right?  That's the problem. Your life isn't special. None of ours is. Trillions and Gazillions have done this thing,  and all will have some kind of shitty end. I mean Churchill is going to have a movie made of him during the WWII days I believe. He is as colorful a character as anyone who lived.

He died though, and who gives a Fuck about him. That is our eventual ending too. At most we just turn into a memory. That will be all that's left, and even that disappears.

I don't care if people write books about you, and you make it into some type of Hall Of Fame. I will not travel to any Hall Of Fame, cuz I don't give a fuck about that either.

Today is work, eat, sleep. Not much more to it. Maybe watch some tv? 

Life is NOT some epic journey around the sun. It's just this thing that has been done to death since the beginning of time.

Solomon knew people would have been better off not being born,  but we were, so that means you got work to do, sorta.

It's your job to figure out why you are here. What's the purpose, and you start out not knowing, which is exactly where you find yourself now. Not any closer than the day you were born. In that regard you are no better than an infant.

Anyway, I ramble on. I wasn't even going to blog,  cuz not sure I had anything, but I got a little down.

I'll cya probably Monday. I assume my time til then will consist of little drama. The drama filled people just make their life harder.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Laterzzz.   :)

Have fun.  :)

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Day Turned Out Well

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday went pretty good. I didn't fuck up anything at work,  and I had a pretty good day. I had to run some errands yesterday so I drove. I worked an hour later than normal,  but we got a lot done. I think we are set up for a pretty easy Friday. I came home and relaxed for a bit,  and made dinner.

In life all you need is cumin, and just some random pork thawed out from the freezer, and you have a meal. Refried beans, avocado, tomatoes, onions, a couple garlic cloves. And tortilla shells, and you have fajitas. Simple pimple,  and a good meal makes one happy. I had a few glasses of wine too.

That was the extent of my day. Tonight we are having friends over, so it will be steaks tonight on the grill.

My life is simple. Mapped out with a turn really. Who knew this was so easy? 

No looking back, and no worries.  There are secrets here in this blog, but pretty much hidden in however many updates I've had. I don't even remember everything in this blog.

I know at some point we went in the wilderness, so everything looked stupid. Just us and our dumb lives. Not sure what's going on now. Our lives didn't get any better or more important, but it seems mine is just plain easy.

I have no clue about you,  and does anyone even really care?   Here today, and gone tomorrow. What does our life mean?  

I think back when it came time for me to make life's decisions I wanted a life that mattered. In a way mine does,  but inside me I don't think it really does, and I am cool with it.

The truth sets you free, and eventually makes you happy, but it is totally Catch-22. The truth is ridiculous, but in a way Joseph Heller days are all that remain, cuz of a happy heart. The Howard Zinn days don't matter anymore, cuz at the end none of it really mattered anyway. Gotta deal with all the B.S. first,  and then it doesn't matter.

I think people don't deal. Remember those people that bloody Mary day. They didn't have enough liquor in them to deal with their own B.S.  shit is hard before it is easy.

You'd have to be around a while to know what that means. 

Anyway, 

That is it for today!!!   :)

And all that other stuff.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

Thursday, August 10, 2017

I Can Travel More Than A Few Miles.

So, I actually made it to Saugatuck this year. In the Summer we would go at least a few times/year. For me it was always rum runners, and a salmon sandwich on the butler deck. The salmon isn't there anymore. I had an olive burger. My 2nd one ever, and I will order more in the future. I had a rum runner too. They are still good.

It was a school night, so I didn't really whoop it up. I made it to Saugatuck this year though. I really don't travel much. 10 miles is a long way when I can just stay home.

Other than that the major thing yesterday is I fucked up the bread I made the day before. Forgot the ingredient that gave it the flavor. I think probably everyone does it once, and feels like such a dick, they'll never do it again. I kept thinking I forgot something, I should have voiced my concerns, cuz we could taste the dough and know, or just rewalk the steps and remember.

A dumb mistake, and now I have a warning sign internally it seems.

Anyhoo, that was about it. I watered my garden, and grass yesterday. My bil pulled up while I was just chilling, so we went to Saugatuck. I wouldn't have gone on my own. He bought 10 acres near there,  so we checked out his property.

All in all a day. Would have been better if I didn't fuck up the bread, but today is a new day. Weekend approaches. I have some errands today, so I'll probably drive.

That's about it. Pretty much just getting something down I guess.

Anyway, I'll talkatcha later.

Sorry for not deleting.  :)

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

This Is My Life.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday I had a pretty good day. Work was fine. I rode my bike home in what was just a perfect day. I had a plan too. I didn't cut the grass on Monday, cuz of rain,  so I planned on doing it yesterday. I did that,  and dishes. We did tacos yesterday instead of Monday too. That is the makeup of my perfect day.

We ended up going to a dealership to see about a prize we knew we weren't going to win. We didn't win anything. We currently have 3 vehicles, but we may in about 6 months see about getting a new, or new for us car. I think we'll go to that same place, cuz they were really nice. We talked to two really nice people. You expect high pressure from car people,  and these people were just nice. Plain and simple. The girl we spent the most time with was just ridiculously cute. My wife called her a cutey patewtey,  and that really was fitting. She was.

Anyhoo, like I said this is my life. It is simple, and the simplest days are just about perfect for me. I get to wake up feeling like this most days too. Also I realize today will most likely be another perfect day.

There is a difference between who I am and you, but I cannot explain really. You would have to go back to the beginning of this blog, and read every update.  :)

haha, I keed.  

I'm out.

Laterzzz.    :)

Monday, August 7, 2017

The Start Of The Week

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. I slept good last night. I had a good weekend. I easily woke up early for work on Sunday. Made it in by 4:30, when it's been a,struggle to get there at 5:00 AM. That's good. I also saw two movies this weekend. Spider man, and Atomic Blond. They were entertaining enough.

We were sitting down,  getting ready to cook dinner, and I realized I didn't really have a care. I worked on that day, and I was about to eat. Our dinner was easy, and delicious. Bob Evans mashed potatoes. Beans from the garden, and chicken Kievs. So simple, and so good. We watched a little tv, and I crashed. Simple pimple really. I now start off Monday feeling good, and refreshed. I am lucky that way I guess. For me Monday is the same as most days. It's not really the end of the weekend, it is just another day. A day I will have to cut the grass, and a  day we will have tacos.

Pretty exciting huh? 

Anyway, I got nothing I guess, but it is good to be me today.

For no reason, except this life here is pretty simple.

Later.   :)

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Not Exactly Sleeping In Today.

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. I've been up for a couple hours already. I've had my gas station coffee *with vanilla caramel creamer* I am buying some of that shit today.   It is so good. I am buying coffee anyway.

Today I am going to see the spider man movie after work. The time lines up. I can go right after work. I am going to take Hope in a bit, and probably read my book. Another day in the books, and another underway.

There is nothing significant on my mind, and maybe there never is. I feel the World keeps moving on, but I am no part of it. It is kinda like the Matrix. There is pressures of the World,  and many things to worry about, but It doesn't seem to affect me. The World is not my master so to speak.

I am not perfect,  and it is impossible for me to be in the vessel I currently live in.  In that regard you and I are alike. You aren't perfect,  and you will never make anyone else perfect either.

I know things about changing vessels having already gone through a change decades ago. You currently are who you were born as.

We were taught we were special and yadda yadda yadda, but we aren't. No amount of labor or sacrifice makes you the best a person can be. To face our weakness, and helplessness as far as perfection goes ain't a bad thing.

Sometimes I feel people want to prove others wrong to mark their place on a pedestal. I'll help you. Everyone is wrong. None have the answers. You can look everywhere in the World, and you won't find it. You can read every publication and not find it. You can read every book and not find it. Your heroes are flawed. Your heroes blindly lead the blind.

It takes a lot to put a person on the right path, and I don't think anyone has what it takes.

We just go on day after day, and not one of us is any closer to perfection. The difference between you and I is I think that to be significant, you don't. Actually I know it to be.

I've known the shitty truth for awhile. Decades actually. If I could hide it I guess that would be fine, but it is your job to face it. I'd suggest doing it. It's for your own good,  although you are blind toward that.

Anyway, today I have a day. There is a lot of stuff that should be done around the house. I don't see getting it all done.  :)

I'll talkatcha later.

Byeeeee.   :)

Friday, August 4, 2017

I Spose

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. It is Friday,  and I get to sleep in tomorrow. A lot of times I get up earlier than I have to, so really I could sleep longer most days. Sunday it isn't always easy for me to get to work at 5:00 AM. That is the only day I struggle getting up. Of course I could go in at 6,7, or 8:00, but I like to get in early to leave early.

There is absolutely nothing too crazy going in my life, so this blog is running out of things to say. I try and give it a whirl if I can. I suspect life for many is nothing too crazy and exciting. We pretty much live our day to day til we die.

The World is such a way, and people are such a way that our day to day gets filled with more and more BS,  lives get too busy. People get tired,  and no one ever gets ahead in life. Our day to day is probably filled with us getting just a bit more behind. More shit to do we put off.

We do like our down time. I do too, and I take it without any guilt. If there is a smart way to live I probably don't do it. I work every day, and you know what I like about that?  I typically don't have those Monday mornings dreading how much money I spent on the weekend. I made money on the weekend. If there is one smart thing I do I'd say it is that. My life is pretty simple, and I can find down time every day. Perhaps too much.

I guess that is another thing I may do that's smart. While people entrench themselves with more and more day to day stuff they strangle themselves. The plant you are should flourish,  but the weeds of the World kill you. It is like you are tangled in a spider web.

My life is work, eat, sleep,  with down time. Also I typically never get as much done every day as I'd like, but sometimes I do.

Life is better the more simple it is, but there are a lot of variables. Hearts strive, so who can be content not chasing after wind?  The World is such a way it makes us busier and busier. Who is strong enough to stand up to the World? 

Also we all are a product of the World so we accept as truth shit that is not. You have to throw everything you know away. You have to do it for a couple reasons. If you don't you cannot see anything objectively. You'll just be a mess. Another reason is because the World is just flat wrong,  and you are a product of that. It's what we are born into.

Anyhoo

I guess that's it.

I may see you hear tomorrow.

Laterzzz.   :)

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Some Days It Is Like This.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I has just enough coffee left to make a 1/2 cup. I don't really have anything to blog about, but what the heck.

Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I was tired after work for the 2nd day in a row. That happens I guess. A final stretch before school starts. Labor day will be here, and things chill out a bit til Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

People will still work,  but kids are in school. Homework,  exams, after school B.S., and whatever else it is parents do. My life won't change much. The weather will change, but I'll still be doing the same stuff. Dinners change with the seasons. Soup, and chilli, and lasagna, and meatloaf will be made. I guess we'll still do tacos too of course.

I will wear a jacket when biking, and another season of man vs. leaves will be upon us. The years do really start to fly by. I have a colonoscopy coming up in two months. I am pretty confident that will come out fine. I saw my blood work results. They test for a lot of minerals, and vitamins it seems. Everything was in the normal range. My blood sugar I was happy to see at ~45. Normal range I think is 40-99. I fasted during this time so it may be higher normally,  but I think that is good.

My life goes on. Typically outside work many times I don't get as much done as I like. I fail every day maybe. It doesn't wear on me though.  It is just life. We busy ourselves with unimportant stuff a lot I guess.

I don't know people all too well I guess. One thing I count on is I wake up typically feeling okay. I have a day before me, and we'll see how it plays out.

Anyway, like I said not much to blog about.

Sorry I hit publish instead of delete.   :)

Have a good one, I may see you here tomorrow.

Laterzzz.  :)

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

A View Of The World.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I was lazy after work yesterday, so I will have to get some stuff done today. I did miracle gro my garden though. Probably for the last time.

Anyway I've been up a while thinking of things. One is the light in me, which I cannot explain to you. It helps me be seen. It also lets me know all is seen. It is my strength I would say. No one can do anything to me, cuz I still have that.

You cannot know what that is like, you don't have it. So it is not really necessary I talk about it. In this way I stand alone. It makes me unique in a way, but it is a gift. Not one thing special about me, except the willingness long ago to make the turn. That is it. I denied myself as it were.

The World was there for my taking, kinda,  but I was broken sorta, and I wanted a better life than whatever I could muster. My story is a turn coupled with obedience. Once fear is installed obedience is a no brainer. One would be foolish not to be. One time outside the garbage room, I could have rebelled, but I played it smart.

Anyway like I said before that story has been told to death. I was thinking this morning of people just going on with their lives. The World is like a big parking garage, but no cars. People are walking with expressionless faces up and down the ramps of this great big parking garage. I can try do get inside their brains, but they are closed. Locked so no one can see.  What is the purpose of you walking up and down these ramps?  To what gain do you do this? 

I can see that far into people, and that is probably a real part of you. There also is the other part that shows various types of pageantry the World is full of.

I think you are an expressionless person in this big parking garage. The parking garage serves no purpose, but you still walk in it, cuz what else is there? 

To no end we wander in this place.

Weird.

Anyway that is what I thought about today, before I got up.

Today will be a day, and I am predicting a good one. Not sure what to do for dinner.

I'll figure that out later. 

Have a good one.  :)

xoxo.   :)