Monday, August 31, 2015

Weekends Are A Blur

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. This is like our last week of Summer kinda, since Labor Day is here, and football starts. Not that it means anything, but I just thought of it.

Weekends go by quick. I work a bit both days on the weekends, but I am able to have a bit if fun too. Yesterday after work we went and saw a movie, and then rented a couple movies. We rented the kings men movie. It was good. We then went out to dinner. We typically like to go out for rum runners once/ year in Saugatuck, but we haven't made it there the last two years.

Heck our lives are maybe a bit different now than in years past, but I am pretty much the same.

My life is over, except for the living. I have no questions, and no priorities really. Work, and have fun. Other people's lives are going on, and I don't have much to say about it.

I think how my heart is typically upbeat, and I know why it is. I know why I am the way I am. As I often do I think of myself knowing everything about me, and then I wonder about others. I can't imagine how that is anymore.

I can't be any of you. It has been too long. I just know it is dark, and you can't see much. Right now you cannot at all be like me. You are nowhere near how I am.

So I think how are you actually going to make it?? There is no possible way. You have been asked to go on an impossible journey. The tour of you as I've said before, but you don't want to.

How long must you live like this before you question is there more??  Why can I not be a better version of myself??

The answer is yes there is more, and you can be a better version of yourself. It kinda has to be a priority.

The final desire in our hearts as we view our last days is that we wished we did good.

I tell you the way. My life was for this. You haven't believed what I said even though you are getting good info. To be the best version of you is not a priority for you. That was my whole priority. In a World I didn't particularly care for I wanted a purpose. The only reason to live. I found it. It wasn't what I expected, and it was hard. I saw things that you don't even believe possible. Many things.

At the end of the day my heart is like it is. At the end of the day I know all about me. At the end of the day I know very very little about you, and you know less about you then I do.

Isn't that crazy???

I think so too.


Luv ya's.  :)


MWAH.  :)))



Time to take the hopester.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Yesterday Was Kinda Fun.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Geesh, I don't really have a politically correct sense of humor. Life is imperfect. I notice many people try to jump on some cause bandwagon. Do you notice they make their side into better people than the really are??

The causes in my opinion are wrong, because life is only about us as individuals. Throw your causes away cuz they won't matter when your 6' down. There will be no plaques in your name for being a hall of fame cause person.

Our lives do not amount more than one coin. I don't care what activities you do under the sun. Many have come before you, and all share your end. 6'under.

That is a serious thing, and it is something one should think about. Everybody is flawed, and everyone is imperfect, and none are so far away they cannot become the thief.

I would say the religious leaders, and the suit wearers are very very very far away, cuz they have the respect of their peers, and have no need to question themselves.

You were born into this World, and it was for a purpose. You have to seek it out, because right now all of you are living a selfish life all about you.

You should question things, cuz there is no way you are as good as a person can be, and either am I.

My final thing I must do is go up and be judged, and not be judged favorably. I willingly do this, cuz it is my path. I then go where others before me went. It is the way to me being turned into the best I can be.

I will go for 3 days, and I will be judged as this is where I am now for eternity. I had a taste of it before, and this will not be a good time for me. Some of you may share in this, and it won't be a good time for you either.

Other than that I don't know how those days will be. I just willingly do this, and my path was made for me to be strong, and me to trust.

I am not who I would be if I didn't make the turn decades ago. I am not the author of my life, and that is a disconnect between you and I. You are still the maker of your path.

I cannot help you anymore than that. It is you as a solo person living your solo life.

It was the story of Abraham. One was more important than the other, and you have to trust he has the best intentions, although that will be battled the whole way.

It is easy for him, but hard for you, cuz you need strength, and trust. More than you can muster on your own.

Your life has been going down the wrong path for a long time. The farther you go the harder it gets.

It would be wise to start pondering these things.

Everything else is just silly really.

Anyways, that's all I got.



Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))


Friday, August 28, 2015

Some Days You Get Up With The Early Alarm.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay I guess. I slept good, and feel rested. I been sleeping in all week. I do like sleep. :)

Anyway, I was thinking about a lot of stuff before getting up, but I don't think it was anything real important. One thing I thought about though is life is a whirlwind. So much stuff to do. Where do you people find time??  Bills to pay, futures to plan for, work to do, families to do shit with. Where does it end??  Where do your day to day responsibilities end??

Where do you find time to sleep?,  don't you have a fuck ton of shit to worry about and do??

I guess life is hard, and most people I sorta get to know with this thing have taken a much different path than me. There are really only a few people I get to know via this thing, and probably not even that great really.

I thought of this a day or two before. People have people read their shit, so it must be filtered. I don't need to filter my stuff, because my life is my own. I owe no one anything, and they can come and go as they please.

The World traps us in life, and that web has been taken away from me. My burdens have been taken away, and that is a pretty good gift.

I know how lucky I am. I am not special. I have no redeeming quality, except I listened, and was obedient. That is what it took, but I had to deal with end of life terror, and end of life condemnation.

So now I am strong, and you cannot stand up to my heart, because it is stronger than anything you can muster. It is a part of me which isn't from me.

A quality of mine I couldn't give myself. It didn't matter if I read every single book. It didn't matter if I learned every silly little thing men and women thought up. I could not sacrifice anything to make me who I am, and there is nothing under the sun I could have done to do this for me.

It started way back when I gave up.  I couldn't go back to the bad days from that bad Summer. In so doing I learned my place. I am not special, and I am not strong.

Just out of luck of me being me I was lifted up anyway. I was given a strong heart, because it was placed in stronger hands than my own. Finished another tour of Steve, and then it came time to wait.

I have been waiting too.

So there you have it.

Where does that lead you??  Umm, you are still in the whirlwind of life. That shit never ends. You'll just get tired, and break down I guess or something. That is what life does. It breaks us down, cuz we have a bunch of shit we don't want to do.

Me, all I do is work during the day, and eat a dinner of some sort, and sleep.

Life's burdens can be taken away, but you kinda gotta go on the tour of you. You'll need a lot of help, cuz currently you don't have the vision needed to do it.

So much for you to do.  I don't know how it will be possible.  :)


Anyways, I guess that is it.




Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Just Sitting Here Wasting Time.

Omg this is such a waste of time. How can a person do something year after year, and for no reason??    Actually that isn't a horrible question. The reason I am able to go on and on is I am right. Everything I am about is right. Not because I am perfect, but because I believed when spoken to, and I was obedient. When I went up for the 2 of my 3 trials I was given the strength to overcome. When it came time to save myself or give up my life I was given the strength to put my life in better hands then mine. I have a whole story, and it has been decades in the making.

So I write this shit, and I let people know. It is my job. I've had to endure a lot, and I went through many ordeals. As it happens I've been given a lot so I give a lot. Actually I give it all. My whole life. The ups and downs. The things people may judge me for. I guess I've been given courage to do this stuff.

It is a good place to stand being on the right side of being right. Being assured of my ways, and the direction I go. I don't seek out the limelight, cuz I don't need it. I don't need the respect of my peers, cuz I have the acceptance of one stronger.

What are you going to tell me??  How is it your life is perfect??  What are the correct things you do 100% of the time??

I know a lot about you, because I know everything about me. I may not know girls as good as guys since I've never been one, but I know you suffer the same imperfections we all do.

I know you want to hide everything too. You have no way to stand in the light, because you are ALL dark inside, and the light terrifies you. To be human is to be like that. It just so happens you have a job to do too. You have to make a big step so you can be taken from darkness to light. You need much help, and much has to be given to you so you can take this journey.

So I write this and chuckle, because people will just sugar coat their shitty lives, because??

I am not really sure.

It is funny, because I am sitting at the head of the room, and everyone is in their underwear wearing a clown's hat and clown's shoes. Hell, you probably have something stupid on your nose too.

You really should be careful what you say, because I know things about life, and I know things about you that you don't.

You have gone exactly zero steps in your walk, and you are just turning in circles. Wisdom and understanding are nowhere near you.

Life and the World people have made is dumb. There is a way out of all this. It is a good way, but you just have this one thing to do first right??

Yeah yeah yeah, I know I know.

Time is not your friend at this juncture, because the time of the World doesn't stop ever. And you are being pulled right now.

That is probably why my blog is invisible. People don't want to deal with the truth. That can be dealt with later right??  Plus I never knew it was this hard, and this scary.

Yep, well it is.

I am here telling you it is a good way. Be strong, trust. You know??

lOL. It is hard teaching a bunch of clowns who always sit in their underwear.  :)

Okay, time to take the hopester.


Laterzzzzzzzzzzzz. Xxxxxxxxxxxx

And some other stuff I don't feel like typing.

Bye.  :)  MWAH

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Who Knows??

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I have a pretty busy weekend planned. A lot of work. Not so much today, but tomorrow will be busy. I have to work two jobs, and I am not sure how long the 2nd one takes. I know they have been adding stuff, and I am not sure how much. Guess we'll see. It will probably be at least a 10 hour day. After that I may have to help someone move, but I may be too tired. We'll see.

Anyway, other than that I don't know what to blog about. I've been laying in bed for a while. I don't know if I was really thinking about anything, but I was in a good mood. Yesterday I woke up in a good mood too.

I always try to relate me to you. At least these days. We are different. I know the ways we are different, and you don't. You have no idea, and there is no way for me to explain it. In a way that is sorta funny, cuz I have been this way for decades. I knew the ways I was different, and really only one more did too. Strange in ways huh??

I think about my life, and I am not ashamed of anything.  Where I stand now I carry no baggage. I have no need to chase wind and I don't. I just live my life with my silly day to day stuff.

Here is where I cannot see you either. What do you have to do??  This blog has labored for a long time, and it really hasn't done much. Our lives are all tied up in I can't say this, because of family, and jobs, and whatever. Where in your life do you find any freedom??

Can you imagine being a Politician??  You have to wear suits all the time, and kiss babies you don't give a fuck about. You have to watch what you say. To be a Politician is to be a fake liar. Geesh, to get "ahead" in this World you kinda have to be fake in ways right??  Smile and say pleasantries, instead of saying what you want.

This World is a mess, and it is what makes our life a mess.

Anyway, I really got nothing, and like everyone else we all barely even know who you are.

There is no yellow brick road. There is no perfect partner. There is no perfect life. There is no happily ever after. All this leads to our death.

That is why the search for the meaning of all this. Why have a life if our end is what it is??


The meaning of life is if there is some reason you are here, then it would be best for you to do that.

I do that, and I have done that. In that way I am different too. It is a good path. It leads to strength, confidence, contentment, and all the things we really want anyway. All your desires to go wind chasing is just your inner demons overpowering you. You know you cannot catch the wind right??  All that is a fruitless endeavor.

I guess that is it.

Luv ya's.  :)
MWAH!!!   :)))

Laterzzzzzzzz.  :)


Friday, August 21, 2015

Some Things I Thought About...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I got a good night sleep, and I feel pretty good. I did think of some things before I got up, and one of the things is words. Words do effect me different than you, because I am open, and my heart is not hard like yours. I think this blog here year after year breaks you down. My blog can be kinda sword'ish in nature, and a sword can penetrate the heart.

Also I thought of how you are. There are two pieces to you. The one that is out chasing wind in whatever fashion, and there is no end to the activities under the sun for you to do. Then there is this other person. Right here, and right now. You are all alone in the World cuz damn near everything about you is hidden. You have a past. It probably isn't perfect. You were a kid once, and went through puberty, and dealt with all that shit. You had heartbreaks, and stuff. You have a whole life to deal with, but you settle for being a wind chaser.

You need so much help to deal with the person that is you. Your life is all about you. Throw your marriage certificates away, cuz they matter none. Throw your diplomas away, cuz they don't matter one bit when you are 6' under. All the learning stops when you lie in the coffin so nothing in the longest run even matters.

The most important thing for you is to deal with you. Then you will be able to help others. So easy, but so hard, cuz the World beats you everywhere. You are not strong enough to beat all the traps the World has you under.

So much to do, and you need so much help. Makes all the wind chasing seem silly huh??

This life is hard, and even Solomon foresaw the grievous task those like me would have to undertake. I knew that a long time ago. Heck I knew it was a grievous task decades ago, and I didn't even know what these days would look like.

So anyway that is what I thought about today. How hard your hearts are, and how dark it is inside. Also I thought about the two yous. The wind chaser, and the important one.

This shit won't be fun, but can you imagine how great it is to unload all the Bullshit we carry??  Welcome to Life 101 where none of us are perfect, and we were born into a World where we get sucked up by Society, and false teachers everywhere.

The best part is we think we are right too. Ha!!  Now you see the impossible task, and you haven't even gone through the eye of the needle yet.

Crazy crazy.

I guess that is it.



Thursday, August 20, 2015

I Am Up Early...

I am up early as my title suggests, that wasn't the case the previous two days. I stayed in bed til I had to get up. I was genuinely tired. No idea why.

I have some stuff on my mind I guess. I'll try to spare you day to day type details, cuz that shit is boring. I don't give one flying fuck about my stupid day to day shit, and frankly all our lives are boring.

Since that is the case, and we don't want to deal with the hard shit of life many will go out and build their Great Wall of China in whatever form. It makes us look good. We have a plan. It is generally accepted as good by those who judge that type of shit.

The plans of the heart are flawed cuz you are not dealing with you. You aren't dealing with your life. All the important shit you hide. You know hiding is the one thing that is disliked the most. Everything is forgivable, but you have to come to the light.

It doesn't matter what stupid shit you do or have done. You can't hide. That is your only mistake.

You don't build a Great Wall as a way to make you perfect. The wall is no defense.

I really don't have much else to be honest.

Your plans are whack, cuz you miss the whole point. There is a fine line between hate and love. It is a choice.

Right now I know your choice.

Fear, and cowardice, and everything that the wrong choice entails.


Monday, August 17, 2015

Life's Decisions...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I thought maybe I'd sleep til when I had to get up. I slept okay last night, but thought I maybe a little tired. I stayed in bed for a bit, but I think I am done sleeping so. Also I have nothing to blog about.

Here I am though blogging and not sleeping.

Anyway I think my cold is fine. Had a couple days where I woke up with a weird throat, but it went away quickly. I think maybe from drinking fluids, but not sure. It never drained my energy, just made some typical things I do harder. I'll take Hope after this.

Other than that not much going on. Yesterday I was wondering, and now too I guess. How do people feel? I know how I feel, and why. I don't know how you feel. I don't remember.

Are you bored??  I know you are not as happy as you can be, cuz that is impossible in your current state. Do you fill your life with business to take away your loneliness??  I know for a fact deep down you are lonely, cuz no one knows who you are, and you don't know who you are.

What does it feel like to live with it being so dark in you??  Where you are afraid of the light, because that would expose you. The one thing you want is the one thing that scares you. To let people  see the imperfect you.

It is amazing how many pics you see in one day. Maybe not me cuz I rarely look at pics, but one can be bombarded.

We want to prove we matter huh??  We do things right, and we want to show people we make a difference??

Life is this crazy thing, and the truth of it flies by us undetected. Busyness is one reason, and who would question anything if they already think they know everything, and if they think they are right?? No one, and that makes everything hard, cuz you live, and believe a lie.

My story is well documented. I did question, and I did find a way out of the darkness. I have a whole story, and it has come to light to help people, but what do the people do??

Good question. Why do I have to go on and on with doing so very very little??

Why are people so scared??

Good questions.

Anyways I guess that is it.

Laterzzzzz.  :)


Saturday, August 15, 2015

That Never Happens...

I don't really keep track of these things, but I am reasonably confident it has been 3-5 years since I've had a cold. I picked up a bug this week. I ran on Thursday morning, and it was difficult. I was just doing a normal run too so it shouldn't have been difficult. It was strange. The next day bam I have a dry/sore throat, and my voice is whack. A couple other people have the same thing. When you never get sick it sure is surprising when you catch a little bug.  Next thing you know I'll get a headache. It has probably been a decade or so since I've had one of them.

So that is kind of strange. Yesterday I slept in til I had to get ready for work, and today is my sleep in day too. I don't think this bug lasts long, as someone was only sick for a couple days last week.

So that is that. Oh yeah, my bike ride to work and back was a little different too. I didn't have the same push I usually do. At this stage of the summer I am in pretty good biking shape even though I don't go long.

Other than that not much going on. I have to work today, and tomorrow early morning. Lisa and I are going to see a movie tomorrow too.

A fun and exciting life I lead.  :)

Geesh, I really got nothing to blog about. Guess I'll just relax before I get ready for work.

Laterzzzz.   :)


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Little Things...

I woke up early this morning, and I thought about stuff. It was a lot like yesterday. At first I wasn't in the greatest mood, but things became better. I thought of all kinds of stuff. I knew the title of my blog a couple hours ago. I think I will do as planned too. Make a list. It may be long.

  • When things get messy, I can still find strength inside me. 
  • Things are messy
  • I wear a unique pair of shoes, and you never walked in them. 
  • I once wore the same shoes everyone walks in who is born on this Earth. 
  • I know a lot about those shoes. 
  • You currently walk in those shoes. 
  • You battle every little thing to stay in those same crappy shoes. 
  • I teach you a way to get a unique pair of shoes. 
  • You don't want them. 
  • You have no idea how serious that is. 
  • Every race has one winner, and many others who didn't win. 
  • Timed goals are nice, cuz it is you, and your brains. 
  • You probably don't even care who wins, unless it is you I guess. 
  • I have a lot of time today, cuz I am driving to work. 
  • I have some errands to do after work. Get a haircut and stuff. 
  • It is a good idea to not think too highly of yourself. 
  • It is a pretty special gift to never think too lowly of yourself. 
  • If life is a balance we don't hold the scales. 
  • A life we make our own destiny leads to failure. 
  • An unwritten law. 
  • To walk in the shoes we were born in and think we are special is folly
  • The best parts about me you cannot see. 
  • The best parts about me I can feel inside. 
  • It is real. 
  • Being poor in spirit is only the tingling to the ankles. 
  • You still feel the tingling everywhere though. 
  • My next point is way too weird to tell you. 
  • So on I go. 
  • Since I am up way too early I may run a little farther today. 
  • I ran a little over 2 miles yesterday. 
  • It is not out of the realm of possibilities I try and get in 5k shape for thanksgiving. 
  • If I do it still isn't that important to me. Just something to do. 
  • Maybe a lot of low mileage runs is what I needed to get healthy this year. 
  • One other thing. Not being mostly spirit you feel nothing. 
  • It is just really dark inside. Hard to see stuff. 
  • It's been so long since I wore those shoes. 
  • A lot of life happened, and I had a mirror. 
  • The World looked ugly, and I wasn't that great of a person. 
  • So it was just the truth that made me seek for something else. 
  • The ugly truth. 
  • There is something better. 
  • People can't see it, but it is a physical thing. 
  • I can feel it, but there are no X-rays, or MRIs that will show it. 
  • That is pretty crazy and nutty. 
Anyway I guess that is it. 
I am not gonna put in the other stuff, cuz things are kinda messy. 

It ain't no thing to me. 

Laterzzzzzzz.   :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

A Lot Of Stuff Maybe...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am actually doing pretty good believe it or not.  Work yesterday went fine. Today should be a pretty easy day, as I am doing 2/3 less pigs than normal, plus I still doubled up on most stuff yesterday. I was asked yesterday by one if the girls who works there something to the effect, "what are you interested in/ what do you like to do??"

So you know me, and actually many if you already do.  "Not much" is my answer. I am not particularly interested in anything. I told her I don't do much. Outside of work I hang out. I told her I used to read a lot of History books, and now I don't even read much.

What does a man with little interest in life do??  Not much huh??  I bike a little, and run a little. I am not rich in Worldly things, although I suspect I am pretty wealthy in non Worldly things, but I don't think about that, so guess I don't worry about that at all. I remember in my folly while being full in Spirit I was going to be the wealthiest in non Worldly items.  Ha!!  I had a lot to learn. None of that is ours to take.

Anyway I do this thing with some regularity. I guess this is important. Want to know how this goes bad??  When insecurity, which is a good thing gets glossed over by putting oneself on a pedestal and tries to shine brightly the trophy they want to show people they are. Yeah, that isn't good.

People want a pat on the back, but all they do is hide stuff, and show a picture of who they want you to see.

Let us take a look at Sports. Your first place finishers in Hockey have 3 bonafide superstars. One has just been accused of rape, and one is getting divorced, which sounds like infidelity is the cause. They have a 2 year old baby or something.

They get to spend a nice day with a trophy, but sports people aren't heroes. Just people who are up on a perch that will be very difficult to get off of.

I don't think I do well to see arrogance and self promotion. I am guessing because I know what really is inside.  Been there. You cannot fool someone who knows what is inside people.

I woke up mad, and I thought this is not a good time to write, but I was able to see clear. Who knows the gibberish we speak when angry.

Anyway I was able to clean some stuff up, so I don't see things that are of no use, and probably not even good for me to see.

I don't want to see the trophy version of you you'd like to show, cuz that does no one any good, and it just shows your insecurity you want to hide.

It is a form of weakness, and I am only hear to support you while you take off all the layers of your in fabulous self. When you are strong enough to show us your weak side, that is when I can help.

Everything else is just a waste of time.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Since I am up early I may run a little longer. Not crazy longer. Max of 3 miles.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Some Days This a Thing Seems Dumb...

That is how I feel this morning. Why bother with this thing. You probably know that though. I'd say this year I have done it a lot. Probably lately as much as I ever had. You look around though, and people still seek honor in Worldly things as if that is their ticket.

People have the answers to life. They know the correct direction. (Whatever it is in their mind to do). Out to prove to the World they are right, and unwilling to face the toughest question of all. What if everything, and I am wrong??

What if that is the case??  You wouldn't have the courage to change one thing would you??  The web of life we ALL get caught in is too hard to get out of, even if someone gave you good info.

All the important things I've stressed for years, trust, strength, etc... You don't have.

Maybe you are too old. Maybe I came too late, and maybe I will be the only one.

Makes it seem like these years have been a waste huh??

Some days go like this. I find the electronic World pretty boring.


Monday, August 10, 2015

A Good Night Sleep Is Hard To Beat...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I had a great night sleep last night, and I love that. I woke up at midnight and felt great, and still had 3 hours to sleep. I stayed up pretty much from 2:00 am on, and thought about stuff.

One if the things that never really occurred to me was how I was with a full spirit, and how everything was good. It was easy to make myself into what I thought the best a person can be. That isn't the goal though. My life is not mine, so I had to be taken a different way. My path is to actually become the best that any person can be, and I have really no idea what that is.

Being full in spirit one feels secure. After suffering things I know none/few have suffered, and then all of a sudden be poor in Spirit is one of the scariest things possible. I was taught a lesson though. The bad stuff returned for a split second, and then it was taken away very easily. It let me know who controls all things. My suffering was for a purpose. To learn things.

Being poor in spirit while things are happening is very scary. The dead years nothing happened, and it didn't matter. When things started happening again though I has bad days. Many of them, but not really after the journey and start if the wait. I finally was in good hands, and the struggles were over, because I overcame the 2nd of 3 times. Everything is out of my hands, but I am in good hands.

Every gift I have makes me strong. I am confident, and assured, and I don't have to worry of stuff. All my life is known, and I can stand in the garden of Eden without shame, cuz I don't clothe myself in false idols. I am not my hero, and I am not my strength. The anger you see in people is not in me.

I took the right path, and it has made all the difference. I don't have to prove to so and so about anything. I am strong enough to stand on my own 2 feet.

I went through a number of ordeals, but I stand in a good spot.

So on I go doing what I do. I have a ton of gifts like sleeping good. Having energy, feeling good about me inside, and being confident.

I think about you, and I realize you have pretty much no idea what I am talking about. Ha!!  That is kinda funny.

You probably have no idea what you are missing out on.

I remember walking in your shoes though. I remember how dark it is, and you have no idea what it is to walk in the light, because currently as you are it is not possible.

There is a correct way you must go. It is simple, but you have to overcome yourself. Throw away all justifications and everything. To look at the truth is to see if you are the best a person can be, than that really isn't that great.

Anyhoodles, that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Who I am, and what I do is nowhere near possible without help. No way!

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D   :D

Sunday, August 9, 2015

For Jake and Jacob

Part of this is for Jake the Snake, who btw is not a snake. Just a run if the mill kinda guy.  Living life, and growing up normally as we all do. Life throws shit our way, and we always won't be perfect, but he is as normal as anyone. We went out to breakfast yesterday, and had a good chat. He commented on my blog before, and got nothing in return.

As a man of patience though I add him and his family. I don't know his family, and I think yesterday was the first time I got to know him.

As for Jacob one of my 4 bosses I guess.  I have a blog, and I write what is in my heart. I always thought I'd tell you this, but I never have. It never really came to mind. After Super Bowl Sunday my bridge fell out. I have 3 teeth currently missing in the front if my mouth. It will cost like $3000 to fix, and I don't have $3000. So I am currently walking the Earth in shame I guess.

I do have a promise all for good, so I don't stress too much about it. I'll fix it when I can, and after next week we will be all caught up on bills, and bringing in a good amount more than we *should* spend. ;)

So yeah this blog goes a certain way and one if the ways it goes is looking on the inside. I don't look in the mirror while smiling, cuz I don't want to see the gap in the front of my mouth.

I think it is weird a man of honesty wouldn't tell you this before, but blog time is blog time. I write what is in my heart, and that is shit from the inside. God looks on the inside, and he knows guys surf porn and jack off. Girls do whatever it is they do.

My I side is known. I may be ashamed of my gap in the mirror, but I am not ashamed about anything about me on the inside.  I am not perfect, but I am accepted. I will be perfect, and that probably won't be the best job I ever had to do. All the things I know that are hidden will not be hidden anymore.

So I clear the air. I think at one time I said bloggers in their own way are kinda rock stars. I am not a rock star if people think that.

Just a dude walking the earth, and as the acceptance of society goes I probably on the outside look like a loser.

I helped my neighbor named Steve yesterday. He was missing half his fucking teeth, and he was black. I didn't think twice about if. Seemed like a decent enough guy to me.  :)

So yeah, I ain't all fabulous, and I ain't a rock star. Lisa and I do pretty well, and we surely can take whatever life throws at us.

Tbh I was worried about my bridge when it came loose. I knew all for good, but come on. I was an avid flosser and everything. As it turns out this blog is about what is on the inside, and I am not really worried about the outside, although I probably weigh marathon pr weight. Between 165-170 is my guess. I never weigh myself, and I may never again. I don't worry about that shit.

I give you this info for Jacob, cuz people worry about outside shit.  This blog is for Jake too, cuz he let me know some inside shit that most people try to hide.

This here is for you, cuz my insides were made pretty good by someone other than me:

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  A lot of our life is hidden.  Shame??  Embarrassment??  Both??

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Nobody Ever Told Me.

I really didn't have much on my mind, but I figured I should blog since I probably won't tomorrow. Something just popped up in my mind though. As I realize what my job is and why I am here there are a couple things. I had no idea how hard it was going to be just for me to get where I am. Also I had in idea how hard what I am doing is.

I have a feeling that is a pretty serious thing. One of those things your heart is not telling you how serious. I personally know about these things, because I have been reproved before. We don't know all the folly and foolishness within us.

What is it I can do??  Not much. What is it you want to do??  What does your life mean??  What do you think about in your alone times??  Are you ever bored??  Do you ever wonder why you are maybe an x kind of person,  but would like to be more y??

To be a human is to have answers. We have a brain, and we know things, but we don't even know us. Me, I do know myself. I know all my shortcomings, and I know why I can't fix it.  I know why I cannot be perfect as I am now. I know the way to go though.

I also know all people have shortcomings, and they cannot fix them. You can't be perfect, although that is possible. So it is possible to be perfect, and we are nowhere near it. I know the direction I choose to become the best a person can be. What exactly is it you do to become the best a person can be??

Or maybe you think you are already that??  What do you think are the important things in life??  The silly things we do to fill the day to day?,

I never knew this was so hard. One other thing I thought about is I am free to do as I choose, because I have a promise all for good. So I am a good tree who cannot produce bad fruit.  That is a great confidence let me tell you.

Anyways, that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I got to sleep in today. Pretty sweet. Also meeting an old baseball friend for breakfast. Passing through the area.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Friday, August 7, 2015

From Nothing

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. My post today is out of nothing, cuz I got nothing on my mind at all. Just doing this life thing.

Yesterday I had another day. It had my little run I do. A little biking, some work, and then I chilled at home. I made a meal, and I went to bed. I slept pretty good too. I had a good wake up too. One where you wake up wondering what time it is, and it was midnight. I still have 3 hours to sleep if I want to get up 3 hours before I have to be to work.

Sorta a common theme this Summer huh??  Life goes on. Day after day after day, but as people what do we do??

To be a "good" citizen we have to do a bunch of crap huh??  Where do you see the perfect life in any avenue?? When do we finally make it so our worries are over??

Why does the World have so much control over us??  Has Civilization made us better people??  What is the answer to life??  I think one book said 42, but also what even is the question??

How serious is life??  Serious enough we all are going to die. Why even have a life if there is such a bad end??

We all were young once, and we all had our young loves, and now many of us are aging. The natural tendency of people is to follow along the regular routes others before have travelled. All routes lead to our own end.

Life is a short thing suffocated in a busy World. So busy maybe many look for an escape now and then. The World is so busy you will never do all the things correctly. Too many demands placed on you.

If only we were strong enough to stand up to the World, and question it. Why???  Why so many burdens??

Then there is other shit too. Wars, and murders, and anger.

What is the answer to life??  Also why life??

The question is why am I here??  Also if there is a purpose what is it ?  The answer is yes there is a purpose, and since there is a reason you are here then it would be the only thing to fulfill you. To do what you are meant to do.

That is the turn. If there is some reason I am here let me do that.

What is it for you??  I have no idea, but one of the things is for you to get to know you. I am afraid that is more than just day to day stuff.

Some of you make this harder than it has to be.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Adding Marit. She doesn't blog anymore, and I didn't really know how to go about it, so this is what I can do now.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Another Day Older...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday went pretty well. Work was a bit hectic for a while, but we finished in time, and actually maybe left a little early. That is always the goal.

Lisa took a couple vacation days to do some stuff around the house, and some of it she needed help with. That's where I come in. :)  she wanted me to switch out the exterior lights by the garage. They should have probably be replaced like 5 years ago, but she got a cheap pair at work, and refinished them with one of those special rubbed bronze paints or something. So I did that, and helped her hang done shutters, and replace a screen that Hope decided to run through. I ended up getting some stuff done. I actually cooked myself some salmon on the grill too. I love salmon, but I am the only one, so I don't make it enough.

There you go, another day if my boring life. Boring to read about, but not boring to me. You know this though.

I figure I have a pretty tough message. People are smack dab in the middle of their life. We always are. That never goes away.

I have a message that goes against the grain. One that stems on trust, because you are weak at this moment. You cannot see past the life you are living.

Do you see you??  You try to accumulate Worldly points by doing x and y. Maybe it is a numbers game. If I have more good points than bad points than I earn a gold star??

What do I say??  I say there are no points you are collecting.  Points come from something different than you can see now.

If I pull on this thing than you can bet your life will pull.

Maybe questions. Why do I need to read 100 emails every morning??  Can't it just stop??

Why do I have to spend money going on vacation??  Cheaper to stay home right??  Especially if you are a finance stressor.

Why do we do the things we do??

Why am a ball of stress inside.?

That is my key. I don't have stress, because I am not the maker of my story. My story is mostly complete. I know what is possible for a person to become, and I am on that path.

It is a story of two people. Me, and you.

Who are you???  Outside of society and life and stuff??

Do you even know??

Anyway, I really got nothing today.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Yesterday was a pretty good day. I plan on having another one.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's    :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Why,Where, When, How???

So many questions in life. So many never even asked. You can ask those questions yourself, and when did your life become your own??  Why did you make the decisions you made??

You were born into this World, and born to follow along. Go to school, graduate HS, go onto College for some, get a career, maybe get married, maybe have kids.

Why do you think that is right?,  who told you??

I am not saying it is wrong, but at some point shouldn't we question things??  Remember way back when as part of my story, I threw everything out, cuz why should I just be a product if Society, and Civilization, when that is just a collection of things men and women thought up.

That is the recipe for my life. Seek a little truth, be willing to hold onto nothing, throw in a little death, my whole life ahead of me, and perhaps a lot of my shortcomings compared to who I wanted to be.

So my life at that point was singled out for a turn. It is what made me different. One thing I can say is I learned about all the bad things about life that bad Summer. I never really told no one about it, because there was no way I could. It was a for my eyes only type of thing, and still much of it is still.

My story did open up at some point, and I can tell you what I went through. Regardless of all you know me, because I know me. You don't know everything, but everything about me is known.

People know very little about you, and much just has to do with strength. We are supposed to act a certain way, and be a certain way. People judge, and our skeletons we'd just assume keep in our closets.

Life is a journey to be lived. One where we learn to not be afraid to show our life. My life is filled with imperfection as others are too, but I am not afraid of it. All my stuff is dealt with so I do not carry the burden of all my trash accumulated throughout the years.

I can only tell you everything was worth it, and I haven't even got what I originally set out to get. That is understanding.  Understanding comes where faith and perfection meet. It is like a mixture of oil and water kinda. I sorta always knew how that would be. I just didn't know what the days up to that point would look like.

Anyway, I said it in another place, but I added Natalie, and her twin sis Alyssia, as we became friends too for a bit. I'd add something special for them too, but don't really have anything yet. I thought a lot about that time during the last few days. All positive, and all good.

Anyways that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Guess it is time to take the Hopester. Once again I said in another spot, but currently my runs are a mile out to a little foresty area. I then walk Hope for a bit there. I then run a half mile toward home, and it is just a short walk home. There will be no marathon pr's with this type of training, but I like it.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Kinda A Weird Thing...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I went to bed really early last night just cuz. Lisa went out with some friends, I was tired so I figured why not. I am not sure how good I slept. Typically I can count on a lot of REM sleep, and I think I slept light for a good portion for whatever reason. Oh well.

Anyway this past weekend was kinda odd for me. For one thing I was actually productive outside if work. Miracles do happen.  ;)

Also came I to contact with an old friend, and actually old girlfriend. That was kinda trippy for me, cuz I have this whole story, and she knew me post bad Summer, and during the physical depression period. I remember we sort of accidentally became friends. I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend, and really I was planning on living life solo, and somehow we hooked up. I fell heavy, and then she went to Denmark for a period. At some point when she was away my energy returned, and the Joseph Heller crazy fun days began.

I had a ton of confidence. I knew my life was mine again, and I also knew how I was now I was not able to be perfect. That which I seeked for was not mine to take. There was nothing I could do to make me the person I wanted. So I had fun.

This was not a great period for me to be a nice guy, but it was a period where I was confident. I was assured of who I was, and I knew the direction of my life was good, although I couldn't see any of the future. Also I told her of the turn way back then.

Seems strange to have a story, and lo and behold she knew me back then the best. I wasn't a perfect person, but she definitely knew me the best.

I knew some things about her too. She was pretty open and honest with me, and maybe she was never like that with anyone else.

So anyway my life moved to Michigan, and I did what I did, and some 13 years or so later I started the first of my 3 blogs.

I have a feeling my first blog was very much like this one. It is doing the same thing, but I needed to do the Journey one first, cuz that is how this blog wins.

What does this blog do, and what did heimleblog do??  It judges the World. Salvation is not a part of the World at all, and all this is judged as so.

I knew the truth about this during my bad Summer. I knew how all the people fall short, cuz that is the teaching of the World.

We accumulate what we think are points via being accepted by the World, but that is not what you need. You gotta do tough stuff that is impossible without help to get to the good stuff. What makes it so tough is the World judges you, and I am out judging the World. You have to be stronger than the World, and that is impossible, while still being a part of the World.

You will have to go through the eye of the needle, and that comes after the turn, and after repentance. The Worldly points you collect matter not one bit.

Anyway that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  Holy Hell is this long.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Saturday, August 1, 2015

The Lessons We Learn...

Having lived my life, and having done the things I have done I realize life is a big and nutty thing.  It is something you were born to lose at. You were never ever going to come out of this perfect. So many things in our life can mess is up.

One for instance is our parents are not perfect, and that can be a big deal. We live with imperfect people when we have absolutely no clue about anything.

So the kid grows up. Experiments in stuff. Drugs maybe, alcohol, maybe, sex maybe.  If you are a guy you start thinking about sex and shit around puberty, and trust me we hit our peak there. That shit is hard.

Anyway life goes on. We have relationships and stuff. The World tells us maybe there is a perfect person out there for us. That's a lie, cuz no one is perfect. Maybe the World tells you to get married and have kids, although Solomon warns you against it.  Others later on too. As a matter of fact it says the journey you must take is easier if you are solo, because the lesson of Abraham is one was more important than the other. So Isaac was offered up as a test of obedience. Quite a bit of trust from Abraham huh??

You read all those stories and it is true. It is faith (believing when spoken to, and being obedient) that is reckoned (=) righteousness. Not by how great we are, and we are not great.
So we live a life, and whoever you are you have baggage. All this shit needs to be dealt with.

One of the lessons of my life is I was faithful. It is with great difficulty the righteous (faithful) are saved. (Bad summer, heimleblog, journey) how much more the sinner? (Unfaithful).  That is the lesson of the wait. People don't believe when given good information. They harden their hearts when given the information, cuz they would rather choose the World.

So they go out, and try to prove they are right, cuz they do this and that. They give a shit about such and such. Maybe cuz they work hard at something that equals zero points. I hate to tell you, the slaves in Egypt worked harder than you. The work they did was as important as whatever you do too.

Life has lessons, and I've learned many. I realize now this thing is completely impossible without help. My whole life after the turn is impossible without help.  I didn't always know I had help, until after the journey. 20 years after the turn give or take.

Eventually I'll have to offer myself up, and that is completely impossible too, but I have the best help.

So currently we are where we began with the wait. Nowhere.  Been doing it for years, and still nothing.

Ha!!   Now that is funny.


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Got a lot to do today. Took the shed apart yesterday to put it in the backyard. Today I have to put it together.  Fun fun. Have to work first though.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D