Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Vivid Dreams...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. My sleep was pretty strange. I stayed up late *for me*. I woke up early, went back to sleep and had some vivid dreams. One I was playing soccer, but I had the bad running dream legs. Couldn't run, and could barely kick. So I pretty much sucked. Also I was in a house with a bunch of strange people. There were vampires in the area so that was scary kinda. I was terrified of vampires as a kid after watching Dracula at an early age. Then the Stephen King vampire book and movie came out. Salem's Lot. Almost forgot the name. I don't recall having vivid dreams like that a lot. 2 days in a row too.

Anyway I had another day yesterday. I came home, and was a pos. I knew I was going to be. It was warm'ish and sunny so Hope and I hung out back. I did end up biking to the Mexican store so I made Fajitas.  I do love Mexican food. Not sure what to make today though. No clue.

Other than that I don't have much on my mind. Had a strange and funny observation yesterday by someone at work. What if everyone always spoke whatever is on their mind?  :)  I find that so ridiculously funny. No more rolling your eyes or biting your lip. :)

All my thoughts are open to see. I am not afraid or am not ashamed of them. I am not ashamed of me at all. I know my shortcomings. I know I am not perfect. I don't hide it though. I live in the light which you cannot understand.

I know a bit about you people. Very dark inside people. I don't always know what emotional scars people have that make them be how they are. What are people hiding from??  I know some stay ridiculously active, and probably to overcome self doubts, eating disorders, insecurity.

I am afraid in all of us you'll find we are flawed. We are not perfect. There is nothing in your power to make you perfect. I think it is an important thing to look at. What makes you tick??  What is it about you that leads you to not be perfect. I don't tell you people everything cuz that World is a pretty funny World I bet, but I am left open for another to see, and I don't get judged. I am accepted, and I am not ashamed.

In my story I will eventually be an enemy to the World. Those who are not with me will hate me to a great extent. Those who cling to the World I will be there enemy. The World has no use for the truth. Reason being is with the truth the World is overpowered. It doesn't matter anymore. No one would care about it anymore.

Seems like a pretty big and grand place to have zero significance huh??  You are still a child of this World though, so still very much a part of it.

I try to point you in the correct direction, but I forget how great and wise humans are.  :)  the Wirld you cannot overcome now. You can overcome you though, and that is what is asked of you.  The rest will be done for you.

One coin for another. Then your story starts then you stop running in place. Without that small step there really is nothing more to you.

We've seen it all.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Had coffee today. When I got up I wanted a cup. Been a while for that. Sometimes occasionally I'll have a cup for the heck of it. Today I wanted one.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz. :)

Aloha.   :)


Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Strange Night.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am doing good. Had a pretty good day yesterday. Work went fine. It was an easy day as most Mondays are. I was able to skate out a bit early, the rest of the week there typically is more to do.

Since I got out early I got some stuff done around the house. Kinda my theme to not be a pos (piece of shit) when I get home. I folded laundry, did dishes, did another load of laundry. I didn't have a day off last week so I didn't get to everything. Also Lisa had to work yesterday.

So it was nice not being a pos. I also took advantage of Lisa  going out, and went to bed early. I slept all the way through too. Stayed in bed after my early alarm too. I was predicting I'd get up early, and Hope, and I would get a good run in. I'll have to do it later now.

I had sone weird  dreams too. One was a recurring one where I still wasn't done with school, so I am rushing trying to do stupid school bull shit I don't want to. I wake up and think dammit do I still have shit to do??  It comes back to me it is done.

So I start off today with a lot of sleep. I think I may stop by the Mexican store, and pick up stuff for fajitas. There you have it. My life is just as boring as yours. :)  Of course I am not really mad about it. I am not really mad at how stupid this World is.  I think I am in a pretty good spot. Work eat sleep. I typically have a couple hours at the end of the day to fuck around.

I think the World is broken, and it cannot be fixed. In this World honesty is everything, but everything is fake. Politicians wear suits, and use fake smiles. Religious people wear suits and have fake smiles. Ever hear a religious dude tell you his faults??  Nope. They portray themselves as Saints cuz religion thrives on lies and deception. It is how you can tell it's master. It is how you can tell they are false teachers.  I cannot step into a religious setting. It isn't good for me, cuz I know who their father is. The father of lies.

So that is that. Life goes on. Day after day. Slowly, but surely I guess people are coming around.

Life is hard. We feel guilty cuz we sure as Hell don't do everything right. What you want most now is probably what I have. To feel good. Not to have a ton of stress. Knowing you are not missing out on anything in life. No chasing wind.

Being confident and assured of my ways. Not perfect, cuz that is not possible as I am now, but I accept the promise all for good, and that lifts a lot of anxiety. I am accepted, and if you don't accept me I don't care really. My life is all about what I started decades ago. My purpose was what it was all about. Fear kept me on the path. It would be ridiculous for me to get off. My confidence comes from my help, cuz this little kid who grew up never would be like I am now without my journey, learning, and help.

It's just not totally done yet. Just kinda waiting for you people who continue to run in place like those dreams.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Should check the weather. I think it is supposed to be significantly warmer today.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras if these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz   :)

Aloha.  :)

Monday, March 28, 2016

How To Win The Lottery Every Time With These 847,962 Steps.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I slept in a little bit, cuz I woke up, and stayed up a little longer than I wanted. I am done sleeping though. I do love sleep. It's the best. Probably one of our best inventions. ;)

Anyhoo I don't have a lot on my mind really. The guy who works across from me will be gone this week. If his fiancĂ©e didn't have a kid this weekend she was going to be induced last night. Kids. Sheesh what a fuck ton of work that is huh??  Practices, Easter egg hunts, homework, and just normal crying, and bull shit. It's what people are supposed to do huh??  I always thought so, but then I learned what life is really about.

The hidden part of life, that I got thrown into. I was just looking to make me a better person, and that entails quite a but more than I ever knew. Sheesh. The World blinds us. I have a different set of eyes than you. They are in my head, and clear. Part of my light I guess. More stuff I cannot explain.

What the Hell is an Easter egg hunt anyway. There is an Easter bunny. Why??  Why the fuck does he or she have eggs??  Silly right??  Why are all holidays littered with candy??  Weird right??

Anyways not much going on with me. I ended up working 7 hours yesterday. It went pretty good. We got a lot done. Monday is typically a pretty easy day for me. Lisa is taking her friend out to dinner, so I think I'll make myself some chicken. It was on sale last week, and I bought some.

Today will be another day in my life. Just living my silly little existence, until my final thing. Then the truth of our existence is in me. I'll have understanding, and I'll be full. I am sfraid at that point all silliness leaves. I will be the best a person can be, and it won't be exactly the same person here. Never gone through anything like that, so not really sure how that will be. I have been thrown into the serious side of life on occasion. One thing I can tell you about that is nothing is important anymore. Your day to day vanishes.

You seek for your salvation, and it is what you want most. Both my trials I had to give it up. Placed it in another's hands. The judges beat me, cuz they are stronger, and craftier than me, but my help strengthened my heart, and gave me the proper words.

The World makes it all seem easy. The false teachers have no idea what they teach, or how wrong they are. Inside me is a sword. I know things, and I wanna keep the swordy stuff out, cuz it is scary.

The most important part of your life is hidden right now. You cannot see it, and you cannot feel it.

So on we go. We have a lot to do.  Both of us are at different places.

Anyway that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome a Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. It's not raining so I can bike to work.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D   :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz. :)

Aloha.  :)

p.p.s. Or whatever. Thanks Laurie.   :)  xo

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Another Crazy Day.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I got a good night sleep, and that is really how I want to start all days. I look at my life, and I realize much of my life is simple. Still yet I am not perfect. I am actually a little loony really. It was like way long ago, I was alone. My life was simple, so I set out to make me the best person in the World.  It was out of reach.  I couldn't do it. A lot of the  shit inside me I did not want. So perfection is out of reach. If I can draw comparisons of now and then way back when I became the thief, but I didn't want that end. I was afraid of my imperfection. I may have to repent again. I am not sure. My heart is not able to repent as I am now. Too much confidence. Too happy. If I have to repent again my heart will be taken there. It is not in my power. No way.

It is repentance that leads to life, and that seems simple, but our hearts are out of our control. If they were in our control wouldn't we be perfect. People often rationalize some type of sacrifice or some type of longevity reward. I worked hard at this so I deserve this. I've been married for such and such time so I deserve this. Everyone always has some type of sword in them. The true sword will lead you to repentance.  It gives you the correct vision.

I have no idea what my days will look like when I go do my last thing. Not sure what I have to do, but it will be done for me. I am powerless. If it was up to me I would have done it decades ago. It is a bad World, and we are not perfect. Those who bring kids in the World bring more people who are not going to be perfect. You'll see none of those 12+1 did and for good reason.

In the Old Testament you'll see it says be fruitful and multiply. The law is spiritual so the NewTestament spoke of a Spiritual stuff. You'll see bare good fruit, and you can tell a tree by its fruit and so on. It really is about turning one coin into 5 or 10.  Those who have had or are having kids with access to this did a wrong thing. It makes your life and journey harder.  It is how I can tell people are still on the path of them.

Given good information they clung to them self.  The worst part is I am who I am. Strong and confident. Assured of my ways although I remain imperfect til this day. Outside of this blog here I have no idea what silly shit I'll do the rest of the day. Sometimes important stuff will come out, and sometimes just stupid shit.

My path is with a promise. All for good means I am a good tree. I can only bare good fruit, because I can be worked with. Like Adam before the fall I am faithful with unrighteous mammon if you will. Not perfect, but still accepted. It is how all the others were too. They weren't perfect, but they were accepted. There was one who was perfect. I'll go in his direction. I'll be the thief, but I will turn into another.

The best a person can be. Currently that is out of our power.

Anyways, sorry to you all I am not perfect. Always had a crazy streak in me I guess.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. It's later than I thought. I gotta be at work in an hour. I'll take Hope when I get home if I am not tired.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Starting Out Today...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I woke up around 1:30AM and wasn't sure if it was time to get up or not. I was up for a bit, but was able to sleep again. I slept hard too, so that's good. I have time to take Hope for a long for me run. I then work at the grocery store for 4-5 hours. I'll pick up something for dinner, and that will be my day.

It is supposed to be warm outside too, so should be a pretty good day. I have some laundry to do, and that's about it.  I don't really have too much else on my mind really. Pretty excited about the long for me run.

Easy days are good.  Some people go out of their way to make days not easy. It is attitude a lot. People cannot always be on, but to be around those who are mostly off is no fun. Typically I just shut my mouth and do my job.  Those are the times you turn into labor expense, and not the help. Your just a body doing stuff. I have a body, and I can do stuff, so big deal. I typically am on anyway. I'll go home. We'll eat a meal. If it is nice outside I'll hang outside. We had a couple rainy days this week where I actually watched netflix.

So what else??

Geesh, I really have to dig, and there isn't much on my mind at all. I guess it is one of those days where this does not have much.

I never know when heavy stuff comes anyway.

So I guess...

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Maybe I'll try a cup of coffee. I think it's been a few weeks.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz. :)

Aloha.   :)

Friday, March 25, 2016

I Have Less Than Nothing To Write About Today.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going? Me I am okay, but my cats are driving me nuts. As this week goes on I've been disinterested in the internet. Maybe that is normal. I drive to work yesterday, and changed my change. Our credit union does it for free, which is nice. Banks stopped doing that shit for some reason. I was glad to see our credit union start doing it again. I made a couple rib eyes and double baked mashed potatoes with our "free" money.  :)

Work was summer time busy cuz if the holiday, but we were able to finish early. I took Hope for a rainy short run in the morning, and watched some more it's always sunny in Philly episodes. Had some wine, and slept early.

Today is Friday. I work my other two jobs this weekend so that is that. Some more days in my life.

So what else is going on??  Not much. People remain the same. Nothing has changed. I wonder how many people have unexplained anger seemingly always in them??  You know, being around people is being around dumb people who have no clue what they are doing. A lot??

In your life you will see a lot of people who are always complaining about something. What causes that?? I can get angry I guess, but a lot of times it is when people put too much value in other people I think. People put on a pedestal is not a good thing. The World does that though. The World has put people in a caste system on its own.

Who is in the best spot in the caste system in finding the truth of life??  I imagine the thief was probably in the best spot cuz he wasn't a saint, and he knew it. (Most of your shortcoming). He also had nothing in life to cling to. His life was over, and there was nothing left. His labor was short. He saw his end, and reviewed his life. His heart was strong to accept the truth.

Other people in the World will never get to be the thief without the turn.  The World is pretty busy too, so there are a lot of bells and whistles you need to chase.

So I come from a pretty full life. I have a message that was given me. Through my trials I learned much. Through other things I learned more. I've been given a message that is not my own. I labor with a labor that is not mine.

I do a job I surely could not do without my help. I don't know what the heck people are doing. Hardly anyone blogs anymore, and maybe their life has nothing important to blog about. I have no clue.

Maybe all our lives are boring, and who wants to write about boring lives??  Maybe people will see we are not Saints, and that is scary.

I don't know. I know all people live imperfect lives, and you are powerless to change that in you. So how do you dress it up??

The direction you are supposed to go is too tough for you. You don't have good vision, and you don't have enough courage. There are not enough bloody Mary's in the World to get to the bottom of you.

The best in the World are the ones who know they aren't right, but want better for themselves. The worst in the World are the ones who are right, and everyone else is wrong.

Your weakness is a strength cuz it is the truth. An anger stemmed from arrogance is probably a tough thing to overcome.

Anyways it's Friday, so that is that.

Not feeling all that other stuff so laterzzz

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Who Knows Where This Will Go.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing fine. I have absolutely nothing on my mind, do who knows what will come out. Yesterday was pretty standard. I took Hope early, and actually biked to work and back in got drizzled on a bit in the way home. It was an East wind too, so glad I did. Today I am driving cuz rain for sure. 100% chance. I can run a couple errands though.

Yesterday was just another day, as is the theme of my life. I watched several episodes of its sunny in philly. Been a while. That show is so ridiculous.

So there you have it. That is my day. Really your lives aren't any more exciting than mine. What makes life fun??  Personality??  Humor??  Yesterday I was pretty bored at the internet. I scanned once when I got home, blah. Once a bit before bed, and this morning when I got up.

So, not much is going on. I am a bit cynical today I guess. There is very little I consider important. I don't place more value in people than I should. Myself either. I don't consider myself a Saint or any other.  I don't place any more value in life things than I should.

I don't always trust people's motives.  It isn't always a good attribute of mine. I thought my step-mom was kinda a hypochondriac when she complained about neck pain for a year, and it turns out she had terminal cancer. Her dying was a big part of my life, but now it is nothing. Heck I used one year + maybe a bit to mourn my brother's death now that is over.

I am cold hearted kinda. My life has all been gone through. I am past everything so now there is nothing really significant in my life. It is a simple, yet imperfect life I lead. Seems like we make it simpler and simpler.

I have nothing to achieve really, cuz I don't need any man made awards. I am strong as I am. You are either with me or not, and that is your choice.

My life has been for a purpose, and that comes before all. The World and society have rules, but I have no use for them. My purpose is higher than this World. I dropped everything really for this purpose. That bad summer it would have been no thing to walk away from everybody and everything. Actually I did too.

In my path one comes before all others. It is the World's trap of unwritten rules that make our web so hard. There only is one way out, and it is a way of blind trust. I ain't saying it ain't scary or nerve racking,  cuz it is. It is a quid pro quo. One coin for a better one. The worst part of it is not many had this message. So that is a bit of a bother. You don't get much help before giving up the coin. That comes later. You do get a bit of help. Your eyes should have a pretty good vision of this World. You should be able to see you pretty good.  Other than that it really is up to you.

You have the message though. That can be good or that can be bad. You are at the beginning too. You haven't seen anything yet. You might not either, cuz not all of you will come, so...

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)  

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I guess I can take the Hopester.  It will be like 6 of 7 days.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really  really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)




Wednesday, March 23, 2016

What We All Want...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I slept good last night. Actually I was just laying in bed a while. Thinking of things, but nothing in particular. I was thinking how much I like sleep. It occurred to me I can still sleep for two hours if I want. I won't, but that does seem like a luxury. Honestly I wouldn't do it. I am done sleeping.

Anyway, as I was thinking about what the heck I was going to write, I thought of Hobbits. What was Tolkien thinking??  Merry people who really just think about their next meal. Kinda how we should be, but we also have Mordor in our background too huh??  A lot of bad stuff out there. A lot of anger and killing. The people's answer to killing is to preemptively kill the people who may be killers. Killing will never bring peace. Killing has been around forever, and that won't change.

Where did life go wrong??  ***hint*** who says it ever went right??  In looking outside yourself you will find the way to anger and hate. It is what this World is about. Looking inside yourself you will see things you wish weren't there. You'll see your not perfect. You'll see the best a person can be in your mind is not who you are. You'll see you are a question, and you don't have the answer.

Life is hard. We grow up wanting what??  We want security, friends, to be respected I guess. We want to feel content, and have fun. We were taught happy fairy tales as kids, but the World sure is full of burdens. The price of getting sick is huge in this country. Lost wages, high bills, you name it.

We grew up being taught Capitalism is good, and Communism is bad, but people have a great tendency to fuck all kindsa things up. Greed, and stuff are not noble traits. Greed can easily overpower common decency. See Enron.

One question you never thought to ask is what if this whole World is wrong???  A whole World of imperfect people doing imperfect things. Couple that with this going on for years and years. We've made better looking costumes, and suits, but we haven't made better people  we can send a person to the moon, and make better computers, but why can we not make that person in the mirror better??

A lot of bad information out there. A lot of assumptions you never thought to question. I threw everything out a long time ago. You know, just in case everything was wrong. Turns out it is.

Anyhoo what we all want is to feel better. Something. To matter I guess. Have less stress. Have a World with better people. Be better people.

Me I just want what I'll eventually get.  Currently I wait while living my silly little life.  :)

That is it for today!!! :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Gotta check the weather. No rain yet.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Now What??

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I fell asleep on the couch early last night, so I got a good night sleep. I gotta kinda rush this up, cuz I am going to take the Hopester.

Anyways there really isn't a lot on my mind. I surely don't know what the days will look like going forward. I know things about people, and it is things they don't know. I know the value of one's life, and it is different than the value people put on life.

My blog is hard. For one because I am different, so I gather it is hard to understand at times. Also I assume it is a hard message. Scary even maybe. The World is  full of people, and none of them are Saints. All think they are good enough is my guess, and we aren't.

To be human is to have heroes. Someone who has their shit together, cuz we fuck up enough stuff on our own. Robes may make you look good on the outside, but it is what is on the inside that counts.

What do you see when you look inside??  People will post pictures showing good shit on the outside, but it is all about the inside.

That is the good stuff, but also our bad stuff.  All our flaws we cover with stuff.  There is a lot that needs to be done, and we have barely even started.

Like I say I don't know what the days will look like going forward, but they will be different.

Anyways as you can tell I don't have much today.  We are really just going to get to the bottom of you. It is what you really want most. You want to be known. You are not perfect, so that is scary. People judge, and the World judges. Society is a pretty tough thing to overcome. The World is stronger than you. You will need help every step of the way.

The World has built you up, but you are to be torn down. Hard stuff before the good stuff, but the hard stuff actually is good stuff anyway.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. Gotta check the weather quick. Just thought of something. I am kinda excited about today. Simple simple. Work, and come home.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya        :D      :D

Laterzzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.    :)

Aloha.   :)



Monday, March 21, 2016

1600, Or What I Did On Ny Day Off...

Hello, and good morning??  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am not that excited about 1600 as you would think. Maybe cuz it is Monday morning at 3:00 AM. :)  Anyhoo I got a long for me run in yesterday. We did a few things around the house. Lisa had to run out for a few things so Hope and I sat out in the sun. I had a brisket in the slow cooker, and we almost devoured it. Just us two. That was about it. A day in the life.

So anyway I probably say some hard to understand stuff on here. Poor in spirit, being full. You have no idea what that means. I can't explain it to you either that well. I'll try, what the heck. When I went through the needle I was made different. I don't know how, but I felt like a kid when I went through. The eye of the needle was the water parting, and me going through. It was strange, but it didn't scare me. I kinda figured it was kinda a big deal, cuz who has done that??

Anyways for me to learn what exactly what was at stake the worst of the worst was allowed to live inside me for a bit. Persecuted me constantly for 6 whole days. Fiery arrows in my neck. After 6 days I was broken. Had a couple things help me get up. Kinda had a comic book version of Hell in my soul for a split second, and that filled me for a short while. My vessel was full to my head. Best existence ever. Then it was taken away. I had to be obedient, and bad Summer and trial #1.

I wanted to be full again, cuz that is security. Once the trial, and physical depression was done I was pretty much free to do as I chose. I could not be perfect. It was not in my power, but the reins were let loose, and I was free.

So I lived a life, until the running blog days. I then went through some hard times. I took some stuff from people. I was harshly judged at the end if heimleblog, so I deleted it. I still had to do stuff, so I messaged Barb and Beth a lot. They got me back blogging again, but I was scared. My Journey was hard. I could not be judged anymore. The journey ended in trial #2. I accepted the worst possible outcome for myself if it was God's will. Turns out it wasn't, but the serpent was hit on the head for the 2nd time. One more time, and it is over. I will have understanding, and I will be full with what I assume religious people mistakenly think they already have. You would know if you did. You don't.

So that's the story. Moses was a type of him who was to come. His story was of this World. another came, and his story was Spiritual, but was mistakenly believed to be of this World.  My job is to finish up with my imperfect self the story from the Spiritual side. I've lived in this vessel poor in spirit for over two decades. I've known where people stand this whole time, but I had to wait. Everything was blocked til the time was right.

I wanted a purpose, and it is way more than I bargained for. I am not special, or anything. Just someone who listened to life correctly. Someone who wanted to be better than what he was. Someone with the help of the mirror realized good enough is not good enough.

Really I played the fool as others before me have done. I'll bring a few with me though. Many will have been called, but few chosen. They only have themselves to blame too. Their guilt is theirs.

The truth is a Bitch, cuz our truth is way the fuck more scary than you understand. You are a slave to your human body. Hard to be a Saint as you are now. Actually impossible. You have to reconcile stuff, and that is hard to do if you wrongly believe you are already right.

Yeah. Tough stuff.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. Not a horrible update for 1600.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))  forgot that yesterday.  Oops.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz   :)

Aloha.   :)

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Today Is A Day Off.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I have today off, and I am up early. I may go back to sleep after this though. Also I don't really have anything to write about. Gotta get 1599 in the books though. I am close to 1600 blog updates on this blog. Pretty crazy huh??

Anyways yesterday went pretty good. Hope, and I got a run in. I was only 15 minutes late for work, but I kinda have certain stuff to do, and it doesn't really matter what time I come in. Just that I get my stuff done.

I came home, and actually did a few things around the house. I was gonna watch basketball, but opted to sit out back in the sun. I polished off a bottle of wine, and then made dinner. Wine + food = went to bed shortly after dinner. It is why I am up early.

Tryna think if I thought about anything yesterday??  Not really. Just normal shit I guess. I am kinda excited to get some shit done around the house. Spring weather seems to be coming a bit early. We aren't hitting 60s and 70s, but we are getting some sun. 42° is actually nice in the sun. It is probably good it is staying relatively cool. I think a warm lake makes for a warm summer. I don't know why, just my theory.

So life goes on. We clip off days one by one.  Much of what we do we keep to ourself, and maybe a little to a close circle. A lot of the shit we do we hide, cuz it is "wrong". I don't tell you everything. You would judge me. Part of the reason is I know me. I know what I am capable of. I know the things one can accomplish in life, and I know the importance of it. If I drink one night I will not be hung over in the morning. I haven't had a headache in forever, and I haven't been sick from drinking too much in forever.

I know myself pretty good. Omigosh I know myself really well. There is no darkness in me. It is all light, and able to be seen. I wonder what would happen to you if you were exposed to the light. Would you be ashamed?  I was first exposed to the light with a full spirit. I was not ashamed of anything cuz I thought I was the best a person can be. I don't think you can really survive the light at first any other way. It was my journey to find trust and security while being poor in Spirit. It is one of the  Beatitudes. I don't remember them all, but I received the blessing a couple decades back, so whatever they say I am, have, or whatever.

I didn't know my path would be so hard. Trust and security are two things. Both build confidence. That I have. Through my suffering I gained a lot. I still remember being told to remember my walk, cuz I'll never do it again. That is good. My work is done except my final thing.

No more laboring. No more worrying. The only hard part I think is knowing where you stand while you don't. Life is a question, but I have the answer. I know the value of humans. I have no heroes before me. I place no one on a pedestal. They don't belong there. People seek for balance, and happiness, contentment, and all that. The path is hard before easy. Getting to know yourself is no joke. During my hard Summer way back when one of the things  I clutched onto was the truth. The truth is I wasn't good, but I wanted to be.

The Summer ended in trial #1. I know so much more today then way back then. Heck I know the fish are good now, and Back then they weren't.

Time is used with faith. It is how it always worked. The religious people are kinda messed up cuz the think the a Earth was made in 7 days. We have not reached the 7th day. We are still on day 6. The unit of measure is explained, but none ever recognized it. A day is as a 1000 years. Time is used, cuz one is not bound by time.

If the question of life was about our effort, we'd all be kicking ass. The question of life is just about the truth. None of ours is that fucking great.

Anyway, it is good knowing where I stand, and who I am.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

Xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I'll try and nap a bit, and then take Hope.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)
 .

Saturday, March 19, 2016

7:30??!! I Slept Til 7:30 AM

Wow. Didn't expect that. Yesterday went okay. Hope, and I got a run in. I biked to work and back. Did some stuff around the house. Lisa and I had a gift certificate to a local restaurant we finally used. I came home, and went to bed. Today I have to work for 4-5 hours, and then I have all if tomorrow off.  I am planning on doing yard work. Start to work on the house, and stuff.

Other than that not much going on. I don't really have much to blog about , but this update will be xx98. I think 15 or 16, so Monday will be a xx00 update. I like those.  :). I wish I would have woken up earlier. Scratch that. I guess I can still take Hope for a quick run.  I only live like 2 miles from work.  I got time. A short run sparkles up the start of any day. At least for me.

So I guess my day is settled. Not sure what I'll do when I get home. I'll pick up something to cook. A lot of times I drink wine on Saturday. I'd really like to do something productive for a bit first. Not sure what that will be.

Sooo, I guess I don't have much today. Some days I do, and I never know when those days pop up.

I do want to give a thank to Sam and Laurie for likes on my blog. I do appreciate it. Sam is one of my bosses, and Laurie I "met"via her boyfriend who I never met. Funny World. Strange blog.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. It's March in Michigan, so time to check the weather.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Friday, March 18, 2016

We Wanna Show Our Good Side.

Days typically are far from perfect, and maybe it is cuz we are. This week I've been pretty lazy not wanting to do shit when I get home from work. I've had one of those long stretches again from not having a full day off. Today I feel pretty good. I had one of the better nights sleep for this week. Usually I sleep pretty good, but today I don't feel tired at all.

Lisa went out last night, and I went to bed early. It seems life has the ability to take us down any number of avenues. As for me, I am in a bit of a crazy/zany area now. Like I've been on a vacation, and was just kinda nutty. I don't know what opened that door, but I think I'll close it, and go on to other things. Stop my little vacation of crazy if you will.

Everyday I have shit I can do, and I probably should. :)  I feel better today like the sun is up in life. Not everyone will know what I am talking about, but some will.

Anyway for the first time in a while when I get home I have the house to myself. That is a weird feeling. Also my heart can kinda pull me down I guess. The futility of life I guess.

Part of me is I am not really a part of this World in a way. I know the World is not going to change. I know people's lives aren't perfect, and people aren't either. There is not one thing labor or sacrifice that will make you perfect. There is no way your life is going to be perfect. There is no way you can truthfully show your life being perfect. Me either. I just happen to know it, and my path decided to go a little farther than good enough. A little farther than good enough is not good enough.

The formula for not good enough is as we stand now we aren't good enough, and also it is not in our power to be good enough. So then what??

It is hard being me knowing certain things. It is hard understanding you, because you think the World is actually worth saving, and that we can somehow make a difference. This World is probably on a crash course. It has built up a bit of steam. Hate and anger has fueled this locomotive, because a mirror turned does that.

As I wondered before when I asked fir the mirror everyone gets it. The multitudes will turn it, and hate begets hate and so on. There will be a few who will use it the right way. That is how it is supposed to work anyway.

Anyway, like I said today is a new day. Gonna step off my vacation path, and get back to more normal stuff.

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. Maybe a crazy little vacation is good for the soul. Being always on must get boring. Who knows??

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Thursday, March 17, 2016

A Day Of Nothing.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. Have a pretty easy day planned. Work, and come home. :)  I may do some stuff around the house. Maybe not too. Lisa is going out after work with her work friends. I'll fend for myself something for dinner.

So there you have it. Looks like I'll be having another day today. Yesterday was a day too, and there wasn't much to it. There was some biking, some pooing, some eating, and actually I did nap for a short while after work.

A boring day really. I guess I don't expect much different. Life is filled with days, and the days typically don't offer up much excitement. The World is like a great amusement park for kids, but when you get older you realize the place pretty much sucks, and you want no piece if it.

Maybe we all want to bury ourselves in various things so we don't get so depressed about our silly lives. Life is depressing kinda, and actually our sadness is an important part of who we are. Dealing with that shit helps us in our way. Most of this stuff remains hard to impossible to get too, because so much of what we must do is not in our power. The battle if Superhero you vs. the real you. The World has been building you up, and really you are supposed to be torn down.

You want to stand on a pedestal and show the World your greatness, and really the truth of you will show something different.

I'd love to get to the good side if people. I have no use for superheroes. Getting to people's good side would make everything pretty much 1000% more interesting. Anything besides the path that is laid out for you is you toiling in vain. You'll go on years and years. You will die, and no one would ever get to know you. While life called you, you kept your heart hard, and had too many other important things to do.

If you knew the end of the path of you, you would change shit now. We are blind people. Not having a clue of our foolish ways, and we don't know the folly of what we do.

I know the future of the multitudes. It is not a good one. It may seem unfair, but like I said before there is some serious shit going on we are blind toward. I know the serious non-comic book version of life.

It ain't no joke. I can't take you there though. I didn't take myself. I was just abruptly put there at times.

Knowing what I do, it makes me a step ahead, and I can see through stuff unfortunately.

Life is serious, and people aren't. Your politics mean nothing, as does most of our lives.

I cannot help you though. You have to want to help you first, but many/all?? Are too busy being superheroes. :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. This time of year you pretty much have to check the weather  every day.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzz.    :)

Aloha.   :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Always Searching For That Perfect Day.

I don't really know what makes for a perfect day. A good night sleep is one thing. Pretty important. As I was riding my bike home yesterday I was looking at the houses. I wondered what the people's jobs were. Did they like them???  Were they at home??  What were they doing inside??  It was sunny and pretty warm. Do people watch daytime tv??  I pretty much don't watch tv during the week. It is like coffee, I just don't really feel it.

What does make a perfect day??  Probably isn't such a thing. You hope to be healthy, you hope to be happy, you hope you are confident, and you want to be strong. Still there is no perfect day really. We always are missing something. Yesterday went pretty good. I thought it was going to be an easy day of work, but we actually had a lot to do. I loved my bike ride home, and I sat outside with Hope in the sun. Cooked dinner after a bit.

Saw our neighbor for the first time. I always thought she might be attractive, but she had a baby, and probably didn't lose the weight. She smokes, and I never saw them do any exercise or anything. I don't think she works, and I wonder what she does all day. I am assuming she has a pretty good streak of non perfect days going. As do we all I guess.

Today though I get to work. It should go pretty smooth. I gotta check the weather for riding. Lisa said it might be rainy, and windy. I'll come home, and do nothing probably. Maybe I'll think of something to do. A lot of times my best days are just chilling out and thinking of things. I do enjoy doing it. Really we only live our short little lives, and might as well not be brain dead while doing it right??

Life really is a big question, and you'll run into a lot of people who already have the answer. They don't though. Unfortunately you were born in this World and it is much more than you bargained for. A history of the World is a history of suffering.  It is our job to find our way, but where are the true teachers?  There is only one. Unfortunately all you get is me. It isn't so bad though, cuz I had none. My route is solo, and an honor will be given me. It already kinda has been given. It is why you like me, and why you probably cannot stay away. You'll always probably come back, but you also have to find your way back too, cuz I am strong, and I can have a good amount of don't give a fuck in me.

Anyways, that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I wanna add Laurie Berry to something,  Great and Awesome Day I think. She told me I always tell her to have a great day. Perfect.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)




Tuesday, March 15, 2016

I Slept In Again.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me I am okay. I slept in again today. I am starting to like it.  It all depends on when you sleep I guess. I stayed up a little later than normal.

It is NCAA time, and I did a bracket with work, and the online one I have done for several years in a row. My picks aren't sexy. No huge upsets at all. I paid attention to the Big 10 this year a bit, but can't say I watched many games. uNC is my winner, and it isn't cuz I watched any of their games. I don't even remember who won it last year now that I think of it.

Life goes on though. A lot of our lives are hidden. A lot of our thoughts too. We are supposed to be a certain way, but are we inside??  Personally I am not perfect. It is out of my reach. I am viewed and seen though, and I am not afraid of being imperfect. It helps knowing it is out of reach. Also it helps knowing I am viewed by one who knows it. It also helps I have been on the path I've been on for probably 25 years or so. The path to perfection.

Overcoming the 2nd time really put me on good ground. I don't know where you people stand. I've been doing this a while, and now I wonder if people even know how to blog anymore. Afraid of getting judged??  You aren't perfect so maybe everyone is a little afraid. As to life's balance you don't have it. Others may be better than you at stuff, but I wanted you to be better at telling your story.

Toughness is not from waking up at the butt crack of dawn to run your dog. Toughness comes from telling your story that isn't perfect. The courage had to be given to you, cuz humans are too weak to stand up to judgement.

Your story is the best part about you, but the least you'd like to share. Life isn't about races and such. That is just shit you do. Life is about all the things you neglect while training for races. Your races are a flaw in you. You have put too much importance in them, and you wonder why it doesn't seem so important anymore.

Life is an avenue of failure. Every turn but one is wrong. The road to perfection you don't make. What you counted on being important isn't.

Pretty crazy

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p,s, it is supposed to be warm today!!!    :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Sunday, March 13, 2016

I Am Kinda A Screwball.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I got a good night sleep last night, and that is how I like to start all my days.  Contemplating a cup of coffee, but I don't know. I don't even feel like it I don't think. The lucky thing about me. I wake up most mornings feeling like I have 6 cups of coffee in me already. I could give you the secret to my energy, but that is probably a bit too much crazy, even for you.

I did learn a lesson about my energy. It is one if the things I always counted on. Remember when I gave up a long time ago??  It was during heimleblog time, so not sure if anyone even read that. Anyway my energy was gone. I couldn't do it anymore, and my mind went to probably the lowest place one can go. I was mad.

Anyway I learned I am not special. I've been given things like this energy to make life okay I guess. My heart is generally upbeat. There really isn't a lot to me. Like I told a friend last night. Work, eat, sleep is basically my life. So, I am a screwball, and I realize some people are going through serious shit. Life threw like 8 curveballs, and things look a bit fucked up.

Yeah, I know.

The thing about life is typically people think they are good enough. You look around though, and there are no Saints. None are perfect, no matter what kind of screwy robe they may put on. People fall for that shit too, cuz people look on the outside. I asked for the mirror a long time ago, so you could look on the inside. That is the important stuff.

The mirror helps us find the truth. The truth is none of us are Saints. We are far from perfect. Is there a way to a better us. Yes there is. Isn't that worth everything??

For some maybe not, but that is the crossroad. The turn is that.

My stuff happened pretty quick. I was given the mirror at a time where I was very alone in the World. I decided I was going to make me the best person ever. It is what I wanted. School was done. I had a job, so what the heck.

As I kept going on, and on I kept looking inside me, and I was really not that great of a person. I thought of what I figured a good and decent person would do, and I saw a lot of flaws. Like the thief I saw my end clearly.

I apologized. I was scared, and I cannot be as good of a person as I want. It is out of my power.

So anyway two trials later, I am a different person. My path is to go all the way to the end. Follow the one who overcame to where he went.

It is what I wanted the most that awful scary Summer. I would have sacrificed everything to be perfect, and have that security. Funny thing though.  I had other stuff to do.

I was obedient all the way through. There were steps I had to make. I never told you I don't think, or maybe I did. One step made me be obedient for a bit so I would pray if I am destined for Hell, please let me accept it as that which I deserve. I didn't know it at the time, this was like 25 years ago, but I have to be like the thief. I've labored long, and you may think I deserve such and such, but I am going where I actually deserve. I am going so I can be made perfect. Exchange my current wine skin for a good one. That way I can be filled again.

Anyway. I know people got shit going on. Life is hard, and a lot of stuff sucks.

I am here, but I'll read your story. I know it isn't perfect, but you wish it was.

I guess I'll poop, and take the Hopester. I have to work in a few hours.

That is it for today!!!      :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I gotta check the 10 day. Haven't in a few days.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras if these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)


Saturday, March 12, 2016

The Jelly Donuts Filled With Soylent Green Are My Fave

I don't know about you, but something about that soylent green tastes really good.

Anyway how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Had a pretty okay day yesterday. Nothing mind shattering happened. It is how I expect most days to go, and typically it is how they do go. I don't look for any marks I can make in History, and don't expect to make any. I have an important'ish job to do, but it isn't me doing it. Kinda along for the ride. I will take on the full suffering, but I am just a vessel in this equation. There is no redeeming quality in me you'll find.

So many disconnects between you and I. I know my true worth, and on the other side of  the needle everything is overvalued.

Anyway I was thinking about my final thing I must do. It really was all about me. I was out to save myself. I was not out to help others. I found my way, and as it turns out I do help other people along. Anyway my final thing was always about wiifm. Never really thought too much of the why and stuff. The one who overcame did it for a reason. He took a lot of stuff when he did what he did. I guess I will too. There is a purpose to why I go where I go. All our imperfections and things we hide, everything has to be accounted for. There are no free rides. You fail. You deserve one ending as all of us do. All your iniquity must be accounted for, and I guess I'll be taking a lot of that. At the end of my suffering my heart will be perfect, and understanding will be mine. I will not be an asshole anymore like all of you are.  :)   Haha.

Just thought of that. My story for me was all about me. At certain times it was about you. Those were the hard times. The trials I sacrificed myself for others. Laid down my life for my friends. Earthly ones the first time, and the other ones the next time. The 3rd I am guessing will be for both. I'll share in the suffering, but I won't be the one guiding my way.

And you think what you do is important??  :)  haha

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Life can be pretty interesting if we let others know our fucked up side. We aren't perfect, and we ain't getting better. Those who hide fill up only with anger. So lost.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really  cya cya cya   :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xoxo.   :)

Cya.  :)

Friday, March 11, 2016

The Fish Market Ended Up Being A Front For Black Market Suitcase Store.

Hello, and good morning. The things that go on where you live right under your nose.

Anyway how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I got a good night sleep, and that is all I really ask. Our truck is all fixed finally. Just a fluke electrical short in the steering column. So that's good. Work was busy yesterday. I had a lot to do, so I worked pretty fast. I got out just over 8 hours so that ain't too bad. I biked and picked up the truck. Lisa is starting a 4 day weekend today, so all is pretty good. Also Lisa's friend and boyfriend close on their house, so she will be moving out. Get rid of a lot of stuff in the house. It turns out we got a lot of shit to do.

I work a lot, so I just have to plan on putting an hour or two in most days. It will be kinda fun though I think. We gain our whole basement which has a huge bedroom, and full bath. We may live down there this Summer. Especially if it is going to be hotter than Hell this year.

So life goes on. Chopping off the days one by one. It is kinda strange being me. I think how strange it must be. Our lives are filled with unknowns. Unknowns make things stressful to some, cuz unknowns can bring worry. We all want to live a care free life too. That is why my story is kinda strange. The only unknowns I have are just what will happen during the day to day. The future for me is not an unknown. I know exactly what will happen. See??  That is strange.

My story has been a long time in the making though. 25 years ago I knew the future up to a point. I knew the thing I must do, I just didn't know the day to day. Currently I stand in the same spot I did 25 years ago. Only difference is the tribulations I've gone through, and I am past trial 2 of 3. One more time up to the judges. As the thief my heart will accept what I deserve. It is how it has to play out. So I am at the mercy of who controls my heart. So yeah I guess you can say I have trust.

I trust that imperfect me can do my foolish stuff during our silly day to day open and without fear. I also trust that when my final thing comes up my heart will be right. I have one with me who overcame. The light went away when he asked "why did you forsake me?"  It is how I know how that plays out. I will lose the light, and that was my strength all along. The courage I will need will not come from me. I've had help since overcoming the 2nd time. During my rehearsal last time the worst of the worst left me, and said he hated me. He also sent one of his cronies to try and scare me or whatever later on, but he knows how this plays out. After the third trial his time runs short. This will not be a good time.

I wanted a purpose, and it seems it is quite a bit more than I ever bargained for. You have no idea how horrible it was during the beginning days. Such a new kid really. Ignorant to the ways of everything. Now I know so much.

As to this World I pretty much was taken aside to play an important role I guess you can say. I was never this strong or this confident. Now I am I guess. My heart is like a Lion's kinda. Without fear.

I am accepted, and I am in the light. All can be seen, and I am not ashamed.

My job is to tell my story, and pull you along.  Hasn't been the easiest, and that has been the most remarkable thing to me. I can't believe how hard that part is.  :)

On we go though.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. I think this Spring and Summer will be a good one.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Hazzzz Blog. Must Write.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I guess I am doing okay. Yesterday was a pretty okay day. Work went good. It wasn't raining bad so I could bike to work. I wore shorts to work. All good things. I came home, and did a load of laundry. And that was all I really needed to do. It would have been perfect, but as Lisa was driving home our newly fixed truck died. The whole thing shut down. It sounded like a snapped serpentine belt, but when we opened the hood the (-) wire melted off the terminal. Did not expect that. Must be a bad connection. Anyway we toed it to our regular shop we use. Pretty annoying.

Other than that everything I guess is going okay. Had a good conversation with a HS bud of mine. Lol. She is funny. You think I talk like a fucking sailor. Holy Fuck. Her life is as jacked up as can be. She can throw a f bomb with the best of them though.   :)

Goddamn FB makes everyone wanna be a fucking Saint for some reason. Ummmn you are not. Fucking Dillholes.

Those kinds of talks are refreshing. I am pretty lucky in ways I think. For some reason people are able to open up with me. Able to show their true colors. Most of the time you see too many goddamn fucking selfies with shitty smiles. It's nice and refreshing to get to the real part of life. I am sick of the Goddamn Saints to be honest.

For me, the less BS I see the better. For people the more BS they peddle the better they feel for some reason. Anyways good to get that off my chest.

Life is an ongoing thing. You'll find the systems in place like Capitalism for 1, have made life harder than need be. You were born when you were though so Capitalism is accepted as a good thing. None of you ever stepped out to question what if everything is wrong and dumb??  You can't get to the truth if you hold onto weird BS truth things like that. You have to throw everything out, because the truth is far more different than you think.

In this World everything is wrong is a truth, and it takes courage and strength to follow that path.

Hey my early alarm just went off.

I think I'll end my blog here.

It's been fun.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. In this World there is a lot of peer pressure to portray ourselves as Saints. None if us are, that too is another truth. There are no points for being better than Hitler.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D     :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.    :)

Aloha.   :)

Hope you all have a good one.   :)    Xoxoxo.   :)

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Some Monday Fun.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I got a good night sleep, and that is pretty much how I want to start out every day. Yesterday I had done things I could do at home, but it was 64° out so I didn't. I just chilled out with Hope outside, and to day I'll get stuff done. Not really a biggie. I guess you can say I just had fun.

Now that I think about it I really don't have much to blog about, but do I ever??  I guess one weird thing about me that you don't understand is my life is way different than yours. Your life in your mind is still a thing. My life is my story. My story ends in a certain way. It is the end of the current version of me, and the beginning of the new version of me.

It is at this point the World will hate me. I will be the enemy of the World. At this point I will be stronger than the World, and I will be the best a person can be. That must seem like crazy talk, but it is my story. It started way long ago, and I have known my final thing for a couple decades. Actually 1/4 century probably. All I kept hidden inside me, cuz that is how it was to be. Honestly there was no way for me to tell my story. It was locked inside me til the proper time.

The proper time started several years ago. I have to overcome 3 times. Suffer as others have done before, and that is my job. Those who may read know it isn't really me who overcomes. The strength and power come not from me. I am kinda along for the ride. The only thing I did that was important is the turn I made overcoming myself. The thing you have problems with. The promise after that was I would be rescued out of every web I get tangled in. Most of these webs are Spiritual in nature.

My labor was hard, and scary, and now not so much. So there is me. I totally know my direction, and what I am doing, and there is you. Living your life, and doing things. Trapped in the webs of life we all get trapped in. Not free to do as you choose, cuz that is what life is. Also your heart is not as content as can be, cuz that is not in your power. The best things in life are not in our power to grab. The happiness we all want is not ours to take.

It really is a pretty crazy thing knowing the futility of life before the needle. Actually life after the needle is quite scary living poor in Spirit is no joke. You are vulnerable to everything especially in the beginning when I suffered much at the hands of the worst of the worst. One overpowers him, and that is where my strength comes from. My journey was a trust building one trials and tribulations, there were two trials and many tribulations, and now I have one more trial. It is the real deal. Condemned, and going where no one wants to.

As I've said before that is where understanding comes. That is where this slave becomes a King. A spiritual one. I caught a glimpse of that power several years ago. It was the comic book version kinda. Trials and Tribulations are not comic book version things are real, and that shit is real scary. Facing your own condemnation. One of the blessings is being persecuted for the sake of righteousness. I call it these days being right. Right now being right is me standing accepted not perfect. Like Adam before the Fall, but that is not my end. I am seen, and looked at. His eyes do not turn their back on me. It is what happens when you overcome the 2nd time.

Anyway this is not over. I have to do my final thing, and I am happy to do it. All my good qualities come not from me.

So yeah a big disconnect between you and I. There just isn't much important going on. You were born in this World, and you've toiled since. We deceive ourselves to our importance. It took life for me to question things, unfortunately you people are too perfect to ever have any doubts of your own importance and your life.

Hard dealing with Saints. How can one ever get through.

Anyway, I am out.

Later.

Monday, March 7, 2016

A Day Unlike Any Other...

Just kidding. It's my life. Nothing gets too crazy here. I had to work the 3:00 AM shift cuz if a sickness. It was a regular size load approaching on the small side so it wasn't bad. My manager got some kind of bonus, and gave me $40. That was cool. It paid for our movie and lunch. I then rented a couple more movies, dinner was cooking in the crock pot, and that was my day. I went to bed early, and u guess one if my wishes is to always get a good night sleep. I did, so I am happy about that.

Last week was kinda strange. I have a feeling my Saturday update was probably a doozy. I never know when those hit. :)  I don't spend a ton of time doing this, and I don't think too much what I write.

Quite frankly there probably is quite a bit you don't understand. Light being one. Inside me is like this light. It let's me know I can be seen. Everything inside me is seen. My thoughts and actions. Me and all my imperfection. I am not scared to be seen, and as a matter of fact it is my strength. I know you don't have it cuz right now you are dark. I know this, because I was once like that. I know exactly what it is.

What I've been doing is trying to get you to come to the light, and get rid of the darkness. I cannot do it though. I couldn't do it for me, and I can't do it for you. There is a lot of stuff inside you that quite frankly you don't know about. The things that overpower you for one.

Currently I am this crazy concoction of a person. Inside lives me, as just a crazy kinda guy I am. I am mostly spirit, which you don't understand. I am not full at all, but really pretty poor in spirit, but I can feel the tingling in my ankles, and up to my knees. In my hands too. The light kinda fills me sorta.

None of this you understand. We are two different creatures. You are what you are since birth. I was made different a long time ago. Through the eye if the needle I went, and that was my first rebirth. That is what birth looks like if one were able to view their own birth. To my knowledge there is no one like me. I can't say that 100% for sure, but what I have to do has not been done in a long time.

So, there you have it. You cannot walk in my shoes, and I can walk in yours kinda. I've been this way a long time, but my whole self was hidden for a number of years. Once the energy came back I was free to do as I chose. I did too, but I knew I had a job. I didn't know when it would start, and I didn't know what the days would look like. It started sometime before I started reading the running blogs, but I knew it was happening during the reading blogs.

Anyways those were hard days back then. I woke up every day strong, but I battled unseen forces. For some reason these unseen forces were able to come inside me. I think I took some of the bad in people, so they could see themselves better. Only bad thing was I think when those bad things left me, they probably came back to you more powerful. I think that is how it works, and you are worse off for it. I probably took a lot of stuff, and actually my kinda rehearsal I guess I had, I took a bit of everybody. It is why I can think of anyone at any time. More stuff you cannot understand.

I guess what I am saying is life is different than you think. There is a way to a better you, and most of it is not in your power. I know this cuz I've lived it. Overcoming the 2nd time made me right. Not perfect, but right. I wanted perfect, but right comes before perfect. Everything I did before overcoming the 2nd time was pretty darn scary.

Now I am not scared. I am assured, and content in the way I walk.

Everything is pretty easy now.

You are still you. How do we bridge that gap??

I guess we will see.

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!      :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Kinda strange how I was so blind during my walk I always knew my final job, just wasn't sure what the days would look like til then. I still don't know. :)  I am in a good spot though.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)

Saturday, March 5, 2016

So That Is How It Looks.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I realize now we are in a different area. Having all the walls down is quite the trip I tell you. Did not see this happening, but I guess it was supposed to. What I've known all along is we don't have any redeeming qualities really, and now it will hit home. The World is going to look ugly. It will look dirty. People may seem inadequate, and trey are. We are. We all fall short of who we "should" be. You'll find the web that was so important to you. All the things you tangled yourself in, just aren't that important. You'll want to try and hold on, but like I read elsewhere the tail is wagging the dog.

None of it matters. It isn't really that important. In going to the dark side you will see there is no life. None of this shit matters. Going down this hole is where you do find life. Out of your darkness you will eventually find the light, but the source is not you.

With the walls down you should be able to see you don't matter. If you go, who cares??  Will the World stop??  The World still is a piece of shit, so what is your mark??  What is your legacy??  People with the walls down are just the same as you. The shell you used all your life for protection is gone.

So now what??  You used family as a crutch, but those 12 stepped away from everything to follow. Careers, jobs, family. None of them ever went to Church cuz those were filled with false teachers. They followed blindly. They really were not worth anything. Afterwards they had their things to do. Hidden, and unknown.

Anyway it is like John the Baptist is out preaching in the Wilderness. There is nothing good here. John cannot do his job cuz your hearts are too hard. You cling to your web cuz you didn't trust. Now the walls are down and we see you for who you are.

Yep, we've definitely hit the dark side. The redeeming traits are nowhere near.

You failed.

Now you are at the mercy of one.

I don't matter either cuz I am cool with or without you. I dropped everything to follow. I blindly trusted, not knowing where it was leading. I don't know if I was that broken, or my heart was just that smart. I cannot tell.

I have become a fisherman, and I had to wait for the right time. That recurring dream that one Summer was the fish were bad. I always wondered what it meant. My time had to wait. I had to wait til the rivers and lakes were filled with the right fish that time is now, it is you.

Those willing anyway. Many fall away, and I don't care. No biggie to me, cuz I do what I do. You have no part in this equation, cuz I have a job to do, and I do it.

We'll see who will come along. I don't really know.

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. I kinda wonder where all the bloggers went too. I don't worry too much about it. When my time came I searched for a purpose. I found that. It's been quite the trip. Quite the journey. You see with the walls down I still am strong. I didn't need the shell. I told you I've been in a good spot since the wait started. You have stuff to do.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D         :D

Laterzzzzz Gaterzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.    :)


Friday, March 4, 2016

Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Program...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I had a pretty normal day yesterday, and I guess I like it. I came home from work tired like I always am for some reason. I sat down, and crested for a bit and caught my 2nd wind. I didn't really have much to do so I showered, and did some laundry. I sit a lot when at home. TV off, music off, and just think of stuff. Nothing terribly important.

I kinda got a feeling about yesterday's post being my walls are down, and so are yours. No one is on a pedestal. Not one of you are any better than anyone else. There really is nothing you can hang your hat on either. It is better to be strong about stuff like that, cuz those who continue to try and show the scale tips more favorably on their side are just wrong really.

In a World of tough questions why aren't you a better person??  What holds you back??  If a camera followed you 24/7 how much would you want to edit out?

When all the walls come down we see people for who they truly are, and it isn't that great. I am not entirely sure what this blog will really do, but I have a feeling we are going down to the dark side. No more awards or pr's or significant things are being done cuz those don't matter where we are going. We are taking all the pageantry of life away, and looking at the mirror without any props.

This is where you get a true version of you. I say it ain't no thing, but I am a few steps ahead. I've done some tough things, and I know the truth of life, and I know some parts about you.

Not really sure what you can do now. The truth goes way deeper than you ever wanted, and probably were ever capable of. I did my hard stuff. I spent a Summer in the darkest of places. I spent it in the Wilderness where there was not one good thing in the World, and not one good thing in me.

It was a pretty crappy time.  It was so long ago. It ended up me overcoming the first time, and bring broken.

I kinda see the wilderness out there now. You know??  An ugly World, and with the walls down I don't see any good. I do have a couple things going for me though. I totally trust my direction. I know you actually have to see your true self if you wanna get better. Most lived their life of thinking they are good enough. This blog will take you a bit further than that, cuz the truth is quite a bit different than that.

I am not afraid of this journey cuz I've been there done that.

It ain't no big thing to me cuz I overcame myself way long ago. I overcame twice other times too. Overcoming me was no thing. Overcoming the other two times was no joke. That is when the shit got real. You have never ever been close to any of that. You still live in cartoon land where none of this is even that important.

It is important cuz the walls are down, and you are on shaky ground. You have nothing to prop you up anymore, and I have a promise, which should sorta be a scary thing for you, and also I am right and assured of my ways. I have help, and you just have you. Your walls are down, and I can see right in.

Yikes.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Decided to have my first cup of coffee today. I think I'll take the hopester too.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D     :D

Laterzzzzz Gaterzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.    :)




Thursday, March 3, 2016

The Walls Have Come Down...

Omg life can get crazy at times. I am just talking about myself here, but I don't really have anything I can hang my hat on. There is not one shred of common decency I can say I am worth such and such cuz of this.

In knowing this of me I guess I get to know you. We aren't perfect. Our lives at any point can go down a life changing avenue. Learning this if myself I guess I am glad I keep things open. I am not perfect and if this week is any indication, I am nowhere near it.

I guess you can be jealous of me, cuz my life really is simple. If any one counts on me it probably is just I show up to work, and on time. I do that pretty good. I am avidly punctual. As a matter of fact the other day misjudging how bad the weather was I biked in hard conditions with heavy snow, and unfavorable winds. I was almost a minute late I bet. :). Yesterday I drove, and was like 20 minutes early.

Really though life can be altered in an instant. My walls for me are all down, cuz my acceptance comes not from perfection. My acceptance comes from my route.  Humans elevate themselves with shallow virtues, and we really are animals. Enslaved to sexual desire, and the acceptance of people.

We are imperfect. There is not one thing you can do to change that. There is no white covered sheet you can put over yourself to make you look like a Saint.

Knowing even more about me helps me know even more about you.

You people are gross.  :)

Hahaha. Life is supposed to be a certain way, and we really aren't. Unwritten rules are broken all the time.

The funny thing is it isn't your perfection and morality that is wanted. Not much can be done with that cuz that is flawed. Your coin is the only thing if value, and it isn't worth much, no matter how much you pretend. There is only one way for you to make your coin/life worth more than it really is. It took me a life to learn this.

It is a personal battle between you, and you. All the guidelines of society have no say in this. Society is just as flawed as us really having been made by people like us. Much poisoned by the bull shit religion of the day.

Everyone is always thinking they are blessed and saved, but how about the real question. If everything is possible you think you are good enough??  He'd settle for what you have become??

Life comes down to tough questions, cuz there is enough scary shit to haunt us all.

The World is pretty ridiculous as are all of us.

This week has even taught me more of this.

So so so ridiculous.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!      :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. Glad to see myself with the walls down.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)





Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Wait, You Mean You Are Not Perfect??

Geesh, you get to know people. Lives are all kinda messed up. My life boils down to work, eat, sleep. There isn't much more to it. I've become pretty good friends with someone. Most if my shit I do in the open, but on this rare occasion we've become friends through more private means. I knew she had a story, but WOAH. Glad I added her to stuff on my blog, cuz she is way different than you would think. Her life is 900 million times more complicated than you would think.

Anyway I was thinking about her life compared to others, and I cannot imagine how other people are.  I wouldn't know jack about her, but I sorta helped her in a small way several years back. She was going through a rough patch, and holy shit it never ended.

Anyway life is imperfect. Many times shit gets fucked up. People can be cruel to each other. One day you say "til death do us part" and years later it is the war of the roses. Sheesh.

I am lucky my life is simple. She asked how my fairy tale was going. I told her work, eat, sleep.  :)

I wasn't going to blog today, but I decided to get up anyway. I think about people's lives. I know they aren't perfect, and I know your heart isn't perfect. You want meaning. This life to matter. What if the truth is life doesn't matter. All the labor we do =nothing. You can labor labor labor, but you will not come out perfect.

My story is perfect is a thing. It isn't in our power to achieve it, but it is possible.  A thing to ponder. Our lives will never be perfect on their own, and your less than perfect story we do not know.

You will never go any further in life til you can share the dark part of you, which is basically your life.

To show your vulnerable side that all can judge. It takes bravery, confidence, and strength. Of all these things you lack.

Til this day you still are missing out on what can be the better part of you.

But hey life right??  Whatever we are doing is important'ish right??  Do you want to ask the tough question??

Am I and my life important??  Don't turn from what your heart tells you. You are a long ways from the truth. The World misguides us, and we are afraid of what our heart will tell us.

Nothing we do really matters in the grand scheme of things, cuz we all end at some point. We leave this place. We leave this place that is hard to live in, and it is the people who make it so hard. The people wear suits and smile and their hearts are treacherous.

I just can't believe you don't see it.

Oh well.

I don't feel like typing my ending, so let's just pretend I did k??   :)

Laterzzzz.   :)


xoxo