Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Song For Julia

Good morning all.  I want you all to know someone. Her name is Julia aka Go Big Green.  I have read her blog what is approaching 2 years now.  She is a 2 time IMWI  finisher.  The last two years.  Is that a big deal??  No not to me, but I know some local people go and do the IM in Wisconsin. 

I was thinking this morning earlier that a relationship with me is never easy, when it comes to my blog and me.  Sorry about that, but my relationship with Julia has been pretty easy.  Through her I got to know her friend Angela, and they are all friends with Damie and Jen H, and a slew of other triathletes. 

I have gotten to know Julia pretty well over the last two years.  Her blog is great.  Yeah, it is about training, and about racing, and man is it ever about her life. 

Her life is no picnic either.  I think she is about the same age as me, and she just lost her husband to cancer.  So yeah, she has a tough road ahead of her.  As someone who has dealt with death a couple times I would give her the time frame of one year.  Things will be hard here and there, and one year is the magical time.  The pain subsides.  Life starts getting to feel a little more normal, although it will be without her spouse. 

I want you people to know her.  She is what life, and a blogger's life is all about.  If you don't read her, you should.  You can find her on my Right hand side under Go Big Green.  I even have her link of one of her posts as a must read.  It is called "Ponder this"   I don't remember what it is about.  :)

Drop her a line too if you have the means.  She just lost her husband.  I am sure many of you can relate, as that is the last thing you would want to go through. 

Life is full of things like this.  It is never an easy ride for anyone, and I would like to say here and now, I am glad there are people like Julia in the World.  There are none better, and I am proud to have gotten to know her.   

Yeah, as you can guess, I am no song writer.   ;)

My heart is with her, and my heart is sad, as are all the other people who know and like her.  She is very special, and she will have a ton of support through this.  I am glad for that.  It won't make anything easy by any stretch.  She will have some hard days. 

I am not going to add my signature line, because it doesn't need to be written for me to feel it. 

My best to Julia, and her family for what is going to be a hard time. 

xoxoxoxoxoxo  all.   :)

Saturday, September 29, 2012


I read a blog post titled the same thing yesterday, and I thought it was a good one, and a good idea.  Confessions I just realized are simple statements about us that are unique to us.  I think people can relate. 

  • Here is one I don't tell people too often.  (never)  I bet Lisa tells her close friends.  We don't have sex very often.  Rarely actually.  It isn't a big deal to me.  Our relationship is based on other things.  My plumbing still works it isn't that, and I still check out hot girls like most guys.  We are pigs.  eyes to butt eyes to butt.   Your significant others do too.  
  • I am pretty excited about my life right now.  Something happened just recently that made me... I don't know excited for my future.  I have a rain cloud over my head, that at some point I will have to do a hard thing.  I always felt it had to be sooner than later, and now I realize it doesn't have to be sooner.  Slow and steady the turtle wins the race.  We want to be a rabbit, but I am led as a turtle.  Not of my own doing.  I am not smart enough to pull my own strings.  
  • people know me.  I let all of my stuff out, and people know me.  I have confidence, and courage.  I also have anger at times, and other stuff.  
  • I am alive as a person.  I am alive in this blog.  I don't like it when people pretend this doesn't exist.  That is how you know me best.  I can walk away from anyone.  I can walk away from this.  
  • I love how this blog has been led.  strength and trust, strength and trust, strength and trust.  
  • We want to be good good good, but strength is better.  Only one has control of good, and it ain't us.  Strength leads us on the path of good.  
  • I am excited about training.  I think I may actually get in good shape this year.  Lansing Marathon is probably what I am thinking.   

Maybe this ain't much of a confession, but whatever, it is what I intended.  It is about me.  It is what I thought about today/this morning.

thanks for reading!!   :)


Friday, September 28, 2012

A Lesson In Life...

Well, I was sitting in bed for a while.  I did not want to get up.  I had absolutely no desire to see what was happening on the internets.  The phone has stayed home the last few days, and it will stay home again.  Pretty bored I guess.  Isn't that what life is a lot of the time anyway??  Boring boring boring. 

I am thinking we place a value on ourselves with what we do??  What happens if the thing we do that gives us the most value in our own mind leaves?? 

You are a rockstar athlete, and BAM,  gone.  That shit is hard huh??  Remember Junior Seau??  I have no idea what went on in his mind, but once he couldn't do his thing due to age, he killed himself.  Why??  Not many were respected more than him, and still life just didn't do it for him. 

You take away what is the best thing in your eyes, and you probably won't like yourself as much.  You probably think people won't like you as much. 

The best artists are the ones who were able to dig into their pain.  Dig into their suffering. 

The two parts of people we all have.  The side we want to show.  I am strong, I am confident, I am happy, and I got my shit together.  The other side we all have.  I am not that great.  If people saw the real me, I don't think they would like me. 

Remember Good Will Hunting??  Isn't that what life is all about??  We want to be strong, and we want to be on top of our game, but we all have the hidden side of Will within us.  That is just the way life is.  Look at it.  It won't kill you, and it will lead you on a good way.  :)

Later all. 


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Don't Watch A Block Of Law And Order SVU

Holy crap did that put me in a bad mood.  You forget how much ugly shit there is in the World.  Most of it we don't see, and perhaps don't hear about.  There are two views of the World so it seems.  The White Picket Fence view, and the other one.  I was talking to a guy at work yesterday, and we were both saying life is much easier if you don't have an unrealistic view of it.  There is a view Society tries to give you, and ours in the States are "The American Dream" , the white picket fence, the work harder and you will get paid more.  Stuff like that.  Life has a bunch of shit in it.  All your little slogans really are a bunch of Bullshit. 

So that is where I went watching that horrible show.  I went down the OMG I forget how ugly life is, and all the crap in it. 

What is one to do??  Well me right now, I am going to get some coffee. 

Actually, I have nothing to write about, so I am going to read my book. 

later.   :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Another Day...

Good Morning all.  I don't have a ton of time, so I am going to kinda wing one up here.  Like I don't do that all the time anyway.  I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb...

So anyway, yesterday I got a little run in before work, I worked.  I ran like 1000 errands after work.  I hate doing that crap.  Get gas, some grocery shopping, pay a couple bills, go to library and return books, and get a couple more.  I got home, and did the dishes real quick.  Man those pile up quickly huh?? 

It was Monday, so it was wine'o' clock.  Lisa came home with Brian, and I drank wine,  Brian drank beer,  Lisa re-arranged the living room, so she could bring all her plants inside. 

Was there more that happened??  Yes, there was some conversations about stuff.  Life in general.  What do I come away with??  Not much,  just chugging along. 

I'll give you something about me.  I don't particularly get overly excited reading race reports.  I think that is a good topic to write about, since for some reason I read blogs of people who do races.  Tri's marathons, etc...  What is a lesson one can take from that?? 

For me, I think it means I am interested in people.  Your races and stuff although fun, are really not even a significant part of you or your life.  I mean I know some people put in a ton of time training for these one day things, but there is more to life than that isn't there?? 

That is what I take from it.  I feel I am interested in people in general... some anyway. 

More people make this blog from Steve R.'s thing than anything else.  That had absolutely nothing to do with a race.  Olga has a line, because of trust, and her sister has had a line even before that.  I "met" them through Gina, who has her own line. 

Why???   They are pretty straight shooters.  What more can one ask?? 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Interesting end to the Baseball season.  One of the things I really wished for was both LA teams not making the playoffs.  Not because I hate them, but just because they made so many trades, and spent so much money.  I'd love to see them fall short.   It is looking good.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Some Things I Never Do...

Well, I was going to sleep in, because I have nothing to blog about.  Then I thought well maybe I have time to get a run in this morning.  Then I figured, well since I am up...   :)

Anyway, I had a pretty good weekend.  I read a book.  "Relic".  I felt motivated all weekend, something that seems to have started last week.  I don't know why, but it seems my whole World cleared up.  I don't need this blog.  I don't need to have to do the things I have been doing the last several years.  I can do as I choose, and I feel motivated. 

This life is my own, and I can do with it as I choose.  I have no 2nd guessing that goes on with this life.  Watch, wait, see, etc...  

So anyway what do I never do??  I never organize my tools.  I did it yesterday.  I have two tool boxes.  Each of them has a top and a bottom.  I organized screwdrivers, and wrenches, in the tops.  Sockets, and misc. wrenches in the bottoms.  I can find my tools whenever I need them.  Seems like a little deal huh??  Well my SHIT was all over, and has been for years.  :)  I filled up our dumpster for week 2 of throwing garbage out.  I even cleaned the top of the washer and dryer with a cleaner.  Those get gross btw.  I also swept the corner where my work bench is.  A little 3 hour project that is a start of some things I want to do. 

How did I feel about it??  Pretty fucking good.  :)

I ran at 2 in the afternoon yesterday.  That was when Jerry and Jim were going.  When first asked if I wanted to go, I thought no earlier in the week.  As Sunday was approaching, I thought yeah why not?   Typically on a Sunday I might want to run early, do whatever, and drink, and watch football.  As the weekend went on a run at 2:00 in the afternoon sounded better and better.  We went 6 miles, and I liked it.  I am a bit out of shape now, so it was a little hard, but not bad. 

All in all, I feel pretty darn good.  It is a good time of year, and it is Monday, and I have another book to read, and I am going to work, after I get this little run in. 

What's not to like??  It is a coffee morning too btw.  For those keeping score at home.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I did have a couple cocktails before dinner yesterday while watching football.  That is for those keeping score too.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D 

Sunday, September 23, 2012


Things sure do seem different lately.  Different for me.  I used to be a go and hang out type of person a lot on the weekends, and now I definitely am not.  I thought it was age.  I am 46 now, and maybe all the things I used to do don't seem so important.  Is it really that big of a difference??  From 45-46.  I am closer to 50 than 40??  That is the big deal?? 

After some thought and stuff I don't think that is it.  For many years we had people other than Lisa and I living here.  People whose lifestyles I did not respect at all, and they are gone.  Maybe I am just a homebody, because it ain't too bad hanging out in your own house.  I can cook a meal, have some cocktails, read a book, watch a movie, organize some things.  I am not really older, I am just different, and that is because things have changed.  Have I?? 

Have you changed??  Do you ever think about that??  Are my thoughts different this year, than last year??  Do I like doing different things this year than I did last year??  Maybe we all change in ways here and there.  It kinda makes us hard to get to know us huh??  We always have a desire to box ourselves up, wrap up the box with some pretty paper, and a nice bow, and colorful ribbon.  It makes it easy on us, but there is probably more to us. 

Some days I think life is hard.  Sometimes it is a struggle, but I don't feel that way now.  I mean yeah, I wish bills were easier to pay, and stuff like that, but it is easy for me to wake up.  It is easy for me to go to work.  I have a nice drive to get some stuff done around the house.  A drive to get in shape.  That has been missing?? 

Anyway, I got a little 4 miler in yesterday, and plan on a 6 or 10 miler today.  It all depends on how fast the pace is.  6 if it is fast, and 10 if I think I can hang.  We shall see. 

Maybe we all have boxed ourselves up some time or another.  Have you ever thought of throwing the box away, and open up the World to other stuff??  The box makes it easy on us, but it closes us up to other stuff available. 

On good days the World is wide open to us.  On the hard days we have to close things up a bit, because when we deal with shit, our World gets very small, because it is really the only way we can cope. 

In life we all walk around with more questions than answers.  It is a good thing to accept.  Keeps us humble in ways. 

Oh well, this is  a long blabbery entry.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Lisa went out to a wedding thingy yesterday, and I think got a bit drunk.  She never does that.  :)   HA HA HA.  She has already been into the Advil.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Painted In A Corner??

Hi!!  My name is Steve.  I learned some things about me this week, or maybe I really learned I do not have to paint myself in a corner.  As I look at my path I feel all avenues have a lighted path.  If I step away in another direction well the lighter of paths still keeps mine lit. 

I know why, and I won't tell.  I have said it before, and in ways it sets me apart.  It doesn't mean I am great or anything like that, it just means my life went in a certain direction, and I listened. 

So what avenues did I take this week??  Just some new stuff.  I was not plugged in 24/7.  I did not take my phone to work with me all week.  I didn't need to know, or even particularly want to know what was happening on the internets.  To be honest,  I liked it. 

I totally had one of my non-coffee drinking weeks.  I had a whopping one cup.  Maybe that is the lesson of my paths being lit.  I can take and leave just about anything.  I am not painted in a corner.  My daily rituals don't have to be.  You know?? 

So Anyway stepping away in ways this week I came up with a plan.  My energy was on full alert this week at work.  Even though I had no coffee to speak of this week, I had high energy.  I decided to take a vacation in a couple weeks.  I plan on cleaning the whole house.  A full 9 days off to get a lot of stuff done.  It is just Lisa and I in the house now, and I want to minimize the shit we have in here.  We don't collect a lot of garbage, so we can stuff our bin week after week with junk, and by Spring our house may be empty.  No words to express how excited I am about this new idea.  A fun little challenge for us to get the house the way we want. 

Some new things too.  I have been in the reading mode lately.  Also starting to think to start base training.  Start getting my miles in, because Spring is just around the corner.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Our thermocouple went out on our water heater yesterday so Jerry had to come replace it.  I now know how to fix it next time.  ( A lot of hoops to jump through to replace those)  The Engineers out thought themselves with this stupid model.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Sunday, September 16, 2012


Do You ever go along, and do your own thing, whatever that is, and go about it mindlessly,  effortlessly, and realize ZOIKS!!!   I must have pissed people off.  Somehow somewhere. 

Words words words.  I guess they come back to haunt you.  I'll still lay them down I guess, because why not?? 

To be honest I was going to add  a couple pictures of some naked girls.  They are easy to find on the internets if one is inclined to look at them, but I decided I want to keep my blog Family friendly.   :P

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Sheesh.  A lucky thing even though I realized I probably somehow have pissed off a ton of people,  My heart doesn't really care.  At least this morning.  Right here right now. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya  cya   :D   :D 

What does that mean???  It means I can stay on the sideline if I want...

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Saturday, And The House Is A Mess...

We have hit a slow time at work, and I will not be able to work on Saturdays probably for a long while.  So now I have to find something else to do.  I picked up some books from the Library yesterday, and I guess I can start doing some stuff around the house. 

I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb...

This blog, and my life is complicated.  I may even seem a little bonkers, I am not sure.  In ways it don't matter, because I have support unseen.  I know the truth of my story, and I know the way in which I go.  I don't know what will transpire day after day.  I know the best a person can show is the part we'd least like to show.  It helps people when they realize none of us really are any better than another.  The I do this so I am better than you = nothing. 

Our World is filled with so much hate, and it is because of our differences, and our inability to walk in another person's shoes.  That is understanding  is my guess.  When your mind knows and feels, what a person's end is, because he or she has been there.  A person with understanding is hated by the world.  A little secret.  A little gem one can hold onto.  The World cannot hate you until you have understanding.  Why that is I don't know. 

The World is a hard place.  Many people don't get past the My Country/Their Country stuff.  If all the World would get past that, than we would probably be a little more peaceful to each other.  Remember that one time when I asked what if the whole World has the mirror??  Used correctly it helps you become a better person.  We should seek the truth of us, and our relation to the World, and what are life means, etc...  I have often said turning the mirror towards others brings about Hate and all kinds of other bad stuff.  The natural tendency I think is to turn the mirror toward others, because it is hard, and sometimes scary to look at us.  Using the mirror toward ourselves = strength.  Turning the mirror makes us feel strong, but it is the wrong way. 

Oh well, I am just getting something down. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  clean the house, read my book, and probably get a run in.  Should get something for dinner too.  Nothing wrong with a day off, and I get one tomorrow too.  :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Friday, September 14, 2012

To Answer A Question...

So a question was posed.  Why "The Wait" ?   To be honest it just came.  After the Journey, which was my 2nd blog I deleted, I almost right away started up "The Wait".  I delete a blog, because I think I am bad, and I am horrible, and it is really stupid for me to blog, and people hate me, etc... 

That is what was happening at the end of the Journey.  I couldn't stand to look at what I wrote.  Somehow someway I was being judged by my blog.... BUT....  at the end of the Journey I went through a trial.  A personal trial.  I was offered up to the Judges, and was given the correct thing to say at the right time.  "Your will not mine"  That was the 2nd time I went through that.  The first time was at the hospital.  The judges are relentless, and they tell you of your death and time will be spent in Hell.  The Journey one was worse than the hospital, because I was to live a life as the worst of the worst, and then enjoy the rest of the eternity with that on my resume. 

I said, " if it is your will I am willing to do that."  I felt the horrible repercussions of what I was asked to do for just a very short while, but then my Spirit jumped.  I knew I did good right away, and what I have said before, it wasn't really me doing it, although I feel a lot of the fear, and I suffer a lot for it. 

There is not greater love, and I have overcome.  Not by my own strength and not by any great thing about me.  I was led on my path. 

All these things hidden.  None seen by anyone, although my brother Jim saw my step Mom's death eyes in me the night of the hospital, and he had a dream that night explaining some things.  Really it was pretty much a solo journey, although people saw me. 

Why the wait??  Because I was told long ago in a vision I had to overcome 3 times.  I knew the final thing, but Hospital was one, and Journey was 2.  The wait, which I did not really come up with the title on my own.  I just was overtaken in a way, and came up with it. 

There are certain things that need to be done.  They are your personal journeys, and I have no idea what they are.  It seems to me you will be led on a path where you get taken to a point where you realize life is only a certain way, and all one would want to do is make the turn. 

To be honest I don't really know what is going on in people's Journey.  I know and trust we are headed on the right path.  A difficult one, and I try and offer support when needed. 

Because life is hard, and we get broken, and I have been blessed with a heart that cares enough to give a shit.  I am not the author of this life, as I gave that up a long time ago. 

The wait is a title for you.  I wait for the 3rd and final thing I must do, and I assume you have to go on a little journey of your own.  Whatever that is. 

In other words not totally sure I guess, but that is my story.  It is weird etc...  It is true.  I wouldn't lie about it, and that is my answer.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  yeah I know that was a doozy crazy of an update.  Had a feeling it was when the question was posed. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I Have No Idea Where My Phone Is...

I am thinking that is not a bad thing.  Every time I see some "politically correct" update I get pissed.   Just a part of us.  Who we think we should be, and who we really are.  Propaganda disguises the truth to us, and we hold onto it to help us feel secure, and help us feel strong.  Strong is our weak side, and our dark side.  Strong is us with our shell off.  Strong means we don't fricken feel very strong.  Ya dig???

I am going to get me some coffee, and I will brb...

Some days I would rather just sleep in.  One of the hardest things you will have to do is be real.  Our lives are clouded with how we should be "right"  You know??  The charade, the facade don't mean crap.  In the end you have to be honest with your maker.  He knows your flaws, he knows what you think, and he knows what you do.  Looking at everything yeah... we ain't that fucking fabulous...

To run away from our dark side we can do this and that and this and that.  Cover as much of the 24/7 we can, but the shit remains.  We are who we are.   One of the secrets of life is Our weaknesses don't matter.  Our path is to get to know "US"  Strength is a gift.  It come along with a journey.  A journey to our past, and a journey for us to look at a reflection in the mirror..  We are not perfect.  Our heart is not always right, but in our sad reflections is when we get a picture of the good us.  It isn't in our 24/7 day to day bullshit.  That shit don't matter.

We are fabulous when we feel low, because that is when we are at our best.  That is when the World has no say.  The day to day means nothing at that point.

So by all means tackle life with courage.  The shit is hard.  accept it.  Keeping up with the Jones'es don't mean shit.  You mean a lot.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  please please please everyone try and stay away from the "Politically Correct" bull shit.  It isn't real.  It isn't you, and it makes me hate you.

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Extras for JPH.   She deserves 'em, and sometimes everyone needs 'em.   :)    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

I don't give extras out too much anymore.   :)


Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :D   :D 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I have absolutely nothing to write about, but I am up early.  I have some coffee that is done, so I am going to get some, and write about nothing.  :)   brb...

I have a feeling this will get a bit weird, because my thoughts just started steering in that direction.  We are going in different directions.  It still seems people want to show what they can do, and keeping a blind eye to what can be done. 

I get it I guess.  Somehow someway we have to be fabulous.  There has GOT to be something worthwhile here.

Our lives are just a small amount of time.  The years pile up quickly.  I am 46 right now, and realize I am closer to 50, and the grave than I am to my birth.   (probably) 

What matters??? 

not much.  I know that sounds negative, but I don't mean it that way.  I mean it in a real way.  Our lives are over before we know it, and we spend a lot of time sleeping, being bored, watching t.v., stressing over how we probably should be doing something else than what we are.  Looking over our shoulders wondering why that person's life is better than mine.  (it isn't)  Why is that girl prettier than me???  Why are people so stupid.  Am I missing out on life??? 

Life has more questions than answers.  More second guessing than feeling content.  More wrongs than rights.  There is a right though.  It isn't what you think either.  It isn't you.  It is not something you can work toward, and achieve.  The little secret we never knew.  Faith is harder than work, because work we can gauge.  Faith does things in it's own time.  Work we have control over, faith we don't.  Pretty fricken hard huh?? 

Faith we have to accept the bitter truth, and watch, and see.  In these things you have no control. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  temps are starting to cool down at night.  I think I will go for a pre-work run.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D      

Sunday, September 9, 2012

What A Week...

Well, I just had an awful week last week, and I can explain, or not explain to you.  I really was thinking this morning why??  Sometimes I find the answers with what I write.  No different here.  There are two ways this can go.  It can go a really ugly way where you don't trust, you are not honest, and you don't brace yourself for the hard times in life.  All sadness must be accounted for.  Remember that??  I am going to take some, and I am going to take some of the ugly parts you cannot handle, because this SHIT is hard.  With trust it goes easy.  Remember about a month ago??  That shit I enjoyed doing.  This week not so much.  It really got ugly this week, and the persecutions were high, and really yuck. 

You cannot fake your way out of the shitty parts of life.  You have to be strong, and trust trust trust.  Be strong.  All these things. 

Very important. 

Thanks.   :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  What up Orioles????    ;)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Don't Know...

I haven't blogged in a while, and really haven't felt like it.  This has been a pretty bad stretch.  I don't know what to make of it, but I have some thoughts.  First off, I made some coffee today.  I haven't had any in a couple days, because frankly I don't need it.  I wake up typically with a lot of energy as it is, and I never get headaches, even if I don't have caffeine.  Kind of been toying with just not drinking any, but I made some this morning.  Pretty much toyed with not drinking any beer too.  I haven't had much this Summer, and the last few times out I had some, I didn't really like it.  Go Figure. 

I'll get some coffee, and give you some of my thoughts about what is going on.  brb...

What was my last post?  Did I say 801 entries??  That is a lot, and I have been saying a lot of stuff for a long time huh??   What are two words I use a lot??  Strength and trust huh??  Strength is honesty, and trust just isn't trusting me is it??  I said you were going to be led on a journey.  A personal one.  One where you were going to be  shown things huh??  Trust be strong, trust be strong.  Why??  It is a hard crappy journey.  One that will show you your life, and what this world has to offer.  So you are going to go to a low place.  This World has nothing to offer.  Your life leads to one place. 

What happened??  You did not believe me, and you did not believe what you have been shown.  Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it can't be. 

You have not been strong, and as far as I can tell you do not have the ability to accept the truth. 

See how weak you are??  (some of you)  You would rather hold onto your bit of meaningless arrogance.  Why anyone thinks they have anything to be arrogant about I don't know.  Truth is you don't impress me.  You are not that smart, and I sure don't think any of you are fabulous. 

But hey you want to trust in your own wisdom, and your own understanding have at it.  That is the path of hate, because it doesn't lead to happiness.  All that makes us unhappy makes us hate others.  We blame them. 

The path to happiness, and the path to Love go hand in hand, but you don't believe.  You don't trust, and you don't have the strength to accept. 


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

801st Post From The Wait...

Good Morning all.  Welcome to my 801st post from this blog.  I woke up late yesterday... around 4:00 am, so I didn't have time to blog, or even read blogs.  Well, I could have read blogs I guess, but didn't want to. 

Yeah, it was one of those days, where I didn't give a Shit about people too much.  It happens.  Any of us perfect??  NO!!  Who the fuck quotes Abraham Lincoln as a way to tell people to be good??  He used Grant, and the Emancipation Proclamation to kill people.  Not by any great thing in his heart, but as a calculating schemer full of deception, and hate.  He had a General in the likes of Robert E. Lee in McClellan who would have got the job done with brains and honor.  He was not patient, and he was an Asshole.  He was on the right side of the War but was an ASSHOLE Commander in Chief. 

Ahhh Fairy tales Fairy tales.  We only believer the Bullshit we learned in 5th fucking grade??? 

So there, my piece done about that. 

In our heart is wisdom, and in our head is Bullshit.  Most people try and write with their head, so as to put a good foot forward.  Few have the courage to write with their heart, because it opens you up. 

Kudos to Colleen for opening up yesterday, and kudos to Boston Kim for stepping up.  In a post that needed support unlike many you read, as usual Boston Kim stepped up.  That is how this shit works. 

That is the shit that gives me energy.

Life has shit in it.  We suck as people, and we are weak.  We only want to show our "good" shit, and not our bad shit, because we all judge like Mother Fucking Assholes. 

Try and be Real folks.  Life is full of death, and filth, and hate, and Wars, and Murders, and stupid fucking teachers who try and tell us Abraham Lincoln was the best person in the World. 

Yeah...  Life sucks.  You see it, you feel it, now all you have to do is accept it and be done with the charade. 

Thanks.  :)

Sunday, September 2, 2012

This Is Going To Be A Tough One...

Hello all.  This is blog attempt #2.  I wrote most of one, and decided it was dumb, and deleted it.  I may not hit the publish button with this one either.  In other words, I don't have shit to write, although I thought of a lot of things before I got up.  You get stuff that goes through your mind you know you cannot explain to people??  That is what I have, so like I say this could be a tough one. 

I am going to get a cup of coffee though, and we'll see what happens.  brb...

One of the things in life I know is as a person I can do nothing.  There are a lot of things that need to be done, and I cannot do any of it.  I am talking of people's lives. 

It seems to me life and this blog has probably taken you to a fork in the road, and there is a well traveled path that looks the easier, more secure way to go.  Then there is this hard way, and it looks scary, and it looks hard, and is this really the right way??  Can't I just go down this other path, just to see what I CAN DO??  I know I can make myself someone great.  I KNOW IT!! 

Such a hard decision huh??  For some reason you don't get a lot of help to do it.  It is taking a step on faith huh?? 

It is a step where you will see no rewards for a while.  It is a hard and scary path like I said, and well, I am not even sure how it will look for you.  It is one where you will definitely be given a strong heart to look at the things you must look at.  Yourself...

It isn't about riches, and glamour, and being fabulous, and all that other stuff.  It is a path of strength and humility.  A person who has become broken becomes strong. 

The sad state of affairs of our lives is none of it matters.  There are no rewards in heaven for finishing an ironman or having a Billion dollars in your savings account. 

I guess the path is your will not mine.  The harder stuff will be done for you, but it seems to me you have to overcome yourself. 

I know we are important to us.  If I could only tell you things look good from this side.  They really do, and A lot of the stuff I went through was hard.  One of the things I learned the other day is every day it seems I get these little persecutions.  It seems like it was worse every day during heimleblog, but How long have I been doing this??  Can you imagine every day making wages, and not spending any of it??  year after year after year.  It just goes into your savings account in heaven. 

Yeah,  I am a pretty rich man.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Sale vs. Verlander for the Sox to salvage the week.  Gotta like the Tigers chances.  We'll see what the boys are made of. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D   

Saturday, September 1, 2012

What Do You Do For Fun??

Hi,  How are you all doing??  I am doing pretty good.  I am a bit of a crazy guy.  What is one of the things I do for fun??  I wake up early, and work at 5:00 am on a Saturday, which is actually always a scheduled day off for me??  Aren't I a nut?  It is a win/win thing though for me.  I like to do it, and making a little extra dough don't hurt.  Not that we are like this great saving family or anything.  We suck at it, and we are too dumb to be the smart people who do those kinds of things, but it all helps out right??  This year we haven't fallen behind so much like we typically do, so that ain't too bad.  :)

What is on my mind??  Not too much.  I just read a couple IM race reports, and those seem like really long days to me.  4:30 marathons or 5 hour marathons seem like long days to me, and that is what is done after a long day has already taken place.  People are motivated to do them, and I am not.  I don't like being in my head that long, and those of you who read this can probably guess why??  It ain't all fun and games in here.  :) 

I'd really love to see a soul searching entry as to why people want to do these??  I can see where you do it, and your Marathons are low 3: hours, because you know, that is pretty fricken good.   Not that it is a bad thing to do those, I just wonder what makes a person want to have that long of day??  Obviously there is something, because Ironmans are so popular now. 

What we spend time doing tells a lot about us huh??  I mean at least the stuff we do we don't have to do.  We all work, and stuff, and have to do some stuff.  I guess I do this blog thing, and I don't think my motives are to make myself out to be really fabulous, because I sure ain't.  It is something I do, because I wake up early, and hash out whatever is on my mind. 

Anyway, I don't really have much today... obviously... so I am going to get ready for work. 

Have a good one all.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Sox really only need to win 1 game this weekend.  Hopefully today!!   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D