Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Out Of Retirement?? Not Sure...

Hello all.  Good morning.   It has been a strange and crazy couple weeks.   Things got weird, and things got messy.  I retired from blogging, although I am blogging right now.   It doesn't mean I will blog again though.  I am not sure. 

I have plenty of things to blog about most times, but sadly the important things I have to say fall on either deaf ears, or unbelieving ears. 

In my World so much is possible with this blog, and if this year is any indication not much is being done.   I am here to tell you the truth of life, and what it means, but none would have it.  Many years have gone into me being who I am.   Many things I suffered to learn some things, and eventually I had to suffer more to learn my place. 

I have had help writing this blog, and there are many important messages, and the thing you are most guilty of is not believing the help.   If A messenger is sent to give you a message, you are one of the unbelievers.   You are on the outside looking in.  That is how it has always been too. 

We learn these lessons so we don't judge others.   I mean it is one thing if they didn't know what they were doing, but you folks know the score.   You know exactly where you stand, but you cannot face it.   Why??   Well for one thing it has got to be pretty fricken scary to face the truth. 

You are not perfect,  you are on the wrong side of being right.  There is nothing you can do to make you be on the right side of being right.   All the things you have been taught are wrong.   All the things you believe in are wrong.   Your heart is not perfect, and God only knows what your motives are day in day out.   What kind of accolades you want for whatever it is you pursue.  

If one could look inside just their own heart what would you see??  I know what you would see, but you look for salvation in some type of Worldly avenue.  What are you doing??  What of anything you do matters to anything at all?? 

I have a blog, and I know it (is/was) important.   I know it had a message, and the people all disappeared.  I don't really know why. 

I have come a long way with this blog, and it was like the dream when I won the race.   None could hold on, because they could not make the final turn.   It is why I was sad I was alone in that dream.   I wasn't supposed to be alone, but you folks keep failing in the things that are most important.  

Most of the shit I do is pretty stupid and pointless, but this wasn't for the most part.   I know I had my moments where there was probably nothing, but there was a lot of important shit in here.  Was it an easy message??  Heck yeah it is, but not from where you are standing, because you cannot see what I see.   You aren't given anything, unless you give.   Quid Pro Quo and all, and the most important part of the quid pro quo was trust, but how can you trust what you can't see??  That is exactly what makes it so hard, but your heart should be able to lead you in the right direction. 

Don't harden it though.  Accept the tough messages, without hardening your hearts.   Yeah, that takes strength, and that is what I have been saying all along too.  

This shit ain't easy, because you cannot see. 

How does the Lord's prayer start??  The first two words??  If that is his title, than you should be able to trust it is a good way right?? 

It was a tough couple weeks, and I even needed to be reminded  "all for good".   I was led down a path where that wasn't even enough for me.  I was scared, and nervous, and stressed. 

Now my heart is open, and it is clear.  It is pretty much my standard feeling, when I am not all busy with worldly things.   I have been blessed with whatever the Beatitudes are.  :)   HAHA.  I have no idea.   I remember the poor in spirit, and I have been that for decades.   There was a brief time when I was full, but that was taken away a long time ago.  Mostly so I could learn to trust in what I should.   My path was a path of strength and trust.   Building both of those. 

Soooo much was done for me, and I really didn't do anything.   I endured my path though, and I guess that is the best thing you can say about it.  

Oh well.

That is all she wrote for today. 

Have a good one, also if anyone still blogs I pretty much screwed up my blog feed, so I may have gotten rid of a lot.  If you blog, and you want to be read, you know the drill.  

cya.   :)   xoxoxo.   and xxxxx, because I am cool like that.  

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Today Is One Of Those Days That Has A Beginning, An End, and the Significance Is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing pretty good, actually I feel pretty good, so maybe I don't guess I am doing good, but I am doing good. 

So what are some of the significant things going on with me??  Well, If I phrase it that way, I guess I should end there.  

There is nothing significant going on with me, and there is nothing significant going on with you.  It is life though so there must be something significant about something right??  One would think, but no.  This shit is all pointless, and meaningless.  It is why our hearts are into seeking.  Looking for answers and looking for meaning.  We are sheep very much so.  We will cling to anyone who seems strong, and dresses nice, and speaks confidently.  Give them some filler for their resume, and WOAH!!!  Look who I know. 

People are people no matter which stone you turn up.  Flawed, and imperfect, and they don't really know the significance of it.   They don't know why their hearts are always seeking, but lazily stop, because we clinged to some other person, or some other person's teachings. 

In your heart you don't know the significance of your shortcomings, and the significance of who you are compared to who you should be.  Everywhere you look is poison.  Busy busy busy doing shit that doesn't matter.  Gotta put a good foot forward too, so painting pretty pictures, because we want to be accepted huh??  We want people to think everything is going okay.  Mostly I'd say with people things are going okay, but you are not who you should be, and that is a significant thing, even if you don't think so. 

You can strive for all your goals you want, but they do NOT make you a better person.  A lot of shit info in the World, and we get bombarded every day.  Hell, I stopped my FB feed a few days ago, and I don't miss it.   I don't want to know what the Hell people are thinking, because I don't care. 

I don't care about your paleo diets,  and your shitty husband/wife.   The significant other who cheated on you.  I don't give a fuck about your political views, and I don't want to know how many fucking vegetables you eat in a day, or how many flowers you fucking crafted. 

Your life is just as pointless as mine, but you don't know it. 

So anyway that is that.  I don't know if I will ever reinstall my FB.  Maybe time away, and I'll miss it, but not right now that is for sure.  As with all things though, FB is a pretty big place.   It won't miss me, although in some silly egotistical way I think it will a little maybe.   :)  HA

On another note, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I seemed surprisingly fit.   I mean noticeably, which those who may have followed along here and there know this has not been my best running year.   So I decided to step on the scale for the 2nd time this year.  `172lbs.  That is what I weigh.  When I am in shape, and putting in marathon miles I approach 170.  So I was surprised about that, so I am thinking of trying to get in shape, since I am sitting at a good weight.   Obviously I need some good luck with my knee, so we shall see.

Anyhoodles that is my blog for today.  Nothing important and nothing significant.  I let you see inside my heart, and it isn't always pretty, but typically it tells you what I feel.  

That ain't so bad.   :)


Saturday, September 13, 2014

If I Could Look Inside You What Would I See??

It just hit me this week.  It wasn't that great of a week, and I think it is because in a way I could see inside people.   All the things you believe in, and all the things you put your faith in.  You believe in the imperfect, and you only desire all that is imperfect. 

You desire the acceptance from an imperfect Society.  Your faith is in Humans, who are probably some of the worst people on the planet.  You believe in an imperfect Country, and you put your faith in an imperfect Country.  If I were able to look inside you I would see a person who has absolutely no idea how messed up they are.  You have no idea how far you have to go, and you have no idea how treacherous, and horrible, and how very not good you are.  

I know some of you must know this deep down, because you attach yourself to a group.  I belong to these people, and we are good.   Only problem is your life is only you.  Your group is made up of people as imperfect as you, and quite possibly maybe even more fucked up than you. 

I have decided to suspend my FB account, because I cannot stand to look at all you kids painting in your coloring books the fictitious pictures of how you make your life appear.  I can't handle it.  All that is Bullshit is all that makes my life worse, and people are full of a bunch of it.  Why??  

They believe in themselves, which is completely crazy.  Seek out stupid platitudes that mean nothing.  I think an audit was done this week, and you all were shown to be completely lacking.   You are not ready to do what needs to be done, because your faith is in this World, and you, and Society, and Country, and Currency, and Church, and all that is imperfect, and all that will not stand the test of time.  You don't put your faith in the enduring, because??

Not because you don't know how to, but because you WANT what this World has to offer.   You WANT to see what your are made of.   If a decision came, and this totally is what the audit was about this week, would you be one of the 12, or the rich dude?   Your answer is the rich dude.

In that regard, I cannot help you at all.   Justify all the crap you want, but read your heart.   It isn't that hard, and your eyes should be able to do that.   You are a child of this World, and you are happy to remain such.   You don't want to make the next step, because??   I don't know.

Anyway, just writing down a few things, and what you may have seen on this blog in the past is gone.  Demolished, and doesn't mean anything.

We start again, with a new start.

The End

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Then It Occured To Me...

I am not sure, but I think I just used a title similar to this recently.  I wasn't going to blog today, because I don't have to.  I decided to anyway, because I was thinking of some things.   One of the things I said recently is I am taking everything away from you.   All the things you put your faith, and hopes, and the things that give, in your mind, life meaning, I am taking away, because they are wrong.  They are wrong avenues with no points attached to them. 

In a theoretical sense you may scream no fair no fair, but my life was taken away from me long ago.  I am thankful for that.   Can you look at your self in the theoretical mirror??  What gives your life meaning in your mind??   Marriage???  Been done to death.   Kids???   same thing.   What parts of those two things ever lead to perfection???   I know I know, you try to paint the nice pictures, but perfection lives not in either of those things.

"Important" goals??  Just selfish endeavors that lead to no points, and help no one's life, and not even your own really, because anything leading to zero points is an effort in folly.  It doesn't mean you can't have goals, just don't place too much importance on it, because it isn't.  As a matter of fact sometimes too much success can only lead to arrogance, and other bad things.

You stand naked on this Earth although you cannot see it.   All the things you prop yourself up with are just that.   Props.   All the World is a Stage, and we act so others can see us in our nice pretty costumes.   They don't really show our inside, but we can do little things here and there, and then throw the rocks at those more fucked up than us, because it is how we elevate ourselves.

We want to feel more important the little coin we are worth, but all avenues using make believe themes of decorating our coin to make it seem more than it is, sure isn't a good thing.   The absolute truth is absolute.   The World was wrong this whole time.  We aren't special.   There only is one avenue that leads to a good place, and it isn't the avenue of us.  

I've traveled long and far to learn these things.   I have gone through wayyyyyy more than you probably ever will, and still have one more thing to do.  At this stage of the game you have to realize the more you hang on to your self-importance the sillier it looks.   The more you try and dress up your life the more we can see through it.   The more you keep on with the same 'ol same 'ol the more you see how empty and meaningless it is.  

Welcome to the Kool Aid of truth.   It leaves us with nothing to hang onto, and nothing to prop ourselves up with.  Why you may ask??   Cuz you only need one thing to prop yourself up with, and it isn't in this World.   It isn't your church, work, or hobbies or anything.  It isn't your family or your kids, or whatever you "think" is soooo important.  

The World is a stage of complete and utter imperfection, and yet we try to always always always dress it up in some way to make "us" look better than what we really are.  

Welcome to the truth, and welcome to the path of strength.   I am here to tell you we don't mean shit.  Our lives don't mean shit, and the meaning of our existence doesn't mean shit.  

Having said that, if you follow along with me, trust me,  it will lead to a good area, and a good place, even if you cannot see from where you are standing now.

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I don't have a ton to do today.  A little run, and a little laundry, and cut the grass.  I have 15 hours before work, so I'll probably sleep for a few of those.

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Blogging With The Tablet, Expect Typos

 Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?  Me, I am doing pretty good after 12 hours of sleep. typing this stuff on a tablet sucks.

So anyway some things are occurring to me. As far as this blog goes, people don't get it. You cannot understand, because all you know is you.  All you can understand is only the things you can think of.

Still out proving your worth is more than one coin to...I dont know about the World, but I surely don't give a fuck.

If you follow along on the ONLY correct path, expect to be broken. Expect it to be hard. If you continue on your same path, then you believe in the World, and you believe in lies.  You justify your life seeking acceptance from people. That takes you as far as the grave.

It is a bad World, and this is a bad life. All avenues lead only to the grave. There is one, and only one avenue that leads to the truth. In a numbers game very very few find it. Teachers are everywhere teaching false truths, and promoting wrong religions. There is not one single correct organized religion on this planet. They all fall short. It will take a strength youseemingly don't have to accept this.

This World is wrong. You are wrong, and you were born wrong. It will take many miracles to make you right, and you haven't seen one.

It is always a choice, and always has been. Are you willing to do the tough stuff. You want to be free of the slavey of tnis World, or do you want to hang onto false security??

You'd think it would be a no brainer, but obviously I don't know shit.

I mean seriously if life is so full of freedom, I challenge everyone to quit their job, give up all your belongings, and go "Into The Wild".  You can't can you?  Why?.  Life is slavery. Life is a thing where all we get ourselves into is a web. There is only one who was strong enough to overcome the World. Guess what??  It sure ain't you!!

That is it for today!!!

Thanks for reading!!!

and all that other stuff.


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

I Guess You Will Never Know What You May See On Here...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  Yesterday kinda sucked, cuz I was totally out of my routine.  Normally on Monday I have a complete day off except for a little 2 hour job I have to do.  I went to do it on Monday, and the alarms to the building were making strange noises, and there were only 4-5 cars in the parking lot, so obviously they weren't working.  Threw me off, so I decided to not work Monday.  I could have worked, but I already sorta made up my mind, and The owner of the company gave me the okay to just do it Tuesday.  Typically Tuesday I just have to work the one job, so I basically have all of Tuesday off til 11:00 PM.  As much as I don't really like going in on Monday my day off I think I like it more than working both jobs Tuesday.   My sleep sucked yesterday, I was tired, and I didn't feel all that great.   I got my work done though, and already have a few hours of sleep.

I ran yesterday, and it wasn't bad.  I have sore muscles in my legs from not running in forever, but once you are a runner it appears it is just like riding a bike.   It was no big deal to get out there, and run 10:00'ish pace for 3 miles, even though it has been forever since I have run.  Knee not perfect, but I ain't running today, so we'll see. 

I know yesterday was a doozy probably, and this is the stuff in my head.   This is the stuff I have known since forever, and there is no good way to tell people the truth.   It is unpopular, people don't want to believe you, and maybe even people hate you for it.   I don't know.   See why it sucks to be me??  

Then to have this blog that everyone never reads.  It pulls in a direction you "should" go if you weren't so smart, and knew so many things already.   Our lives are piled with a bunch of stuff.  Layer after layer of wrong teachings, and propaganda, and fairy tales, and we get all tangled up in our lives, because this World is bad.   You think gravity has a hold on you, the World soooooo much more as far as I can tell with probably all of you.  

You look out for something good to do.  Something that matters, and something that will give your life meaning.   You ain't found it yet, and you ain't on the right path.   You are wrong, and you need to be fixed.  I don't care how much you want to sacrifice to whatever, but no matter what you do you will fail.  

Life is about failure.  No one wins.  No one is perfect.  No one gets out alive, and nothing you do matters when you are 6' under.   You can read all the books, and all the textbooks.  You can eat celery and carrots, and drink only nothing but water, it still doesn't matter.   There is nothing you can do to make you right.   You cannot fix you.  That has to be done for you.  Eventually I guess you have to come to the realization you ain't all that. 

If everything is possible, than you better damn well believe perfect is possible.  It is my path.  To be the best a person can be.   My path was so hard, so I could help more people in the long run.  It is the answer I got when I questioned, "why did you let me get so far away"? 

To save more lives.  It ain't me doing the work, I tell you that.   Sooooo strange my life was filled with all these things.   I have done a lot, and suffered a lot, and learned a lot, and it all boiled down to what I learned when I overcame the 2nd time.   None of who I am matters.   Nothing I did really matters, because it still isn't even up to me.  

People have so far to go, and so much to learn, but that World grabs you, and holds on, and you cannot break loose, because you are afraid.  

Afraid to look silly.   Afraid of the security your life gives you.  You gotta believe in something right??  You believe in this World, and you believe in you, and you believe in your jobs, and Society, and Country, and you believe in people. 

You believe in suits, and ties, and costumes for the religious, and man made silly things that have been handed down for generations.  

You believe as we all do at one time.   You believe you are good.   You believe you are the better person, because of why??   I have no idea.  

I learned a long time ago, how weak and pathetic, and horrible us humans are.  We judge, and we hate, and we dislike, and we are arrogant, and angry, and spiteful, and vengeful, and jealous, and on and on and on.

But you are the one who is good right??

Oh well,

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I got a few things I can get done around the house, and oh, Lisa got full time at her new job.   :)  WOOOP!!!   The best thing for me is to get rid of that Monday.  I can do my thing on Sunday.  I probably should, but I do a lot on Sunday, and I work both jobs on Saturday and Sunday.   If I could just do that it would be perfect.   We'll see.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

oh, I told Doreen yesterday I don't tell her I love her every day.   Sheesh.   What a meanie.  I'll give her a few extra xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, cuz she likes 'em I know.   :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   MWAH!!!!  

Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The Worth Of One Coin...

What is the worth of one coin to you??  Not much right??  I don't think they make bazillion dollar coins. 

I've talked about coins, and how it equates with life.  Our life??  What happens to us if we take away all the things we clothe ourselves in??

Flag, country, activities, society, jobs, etc...  Yeah, and even triathlon or shudder to say it Ironman, what if those all important things are gone, then what is your life worth??   The teachings you've learned; lessons from people as imperfect as you, and the books you have read from people just as imperfect as you. 

You take away everything that in your mind gives you worth, then you are one naked individual huh??   That is what the truth does.   It takes away all your layers of fabulous, and you stand naked before all with not a thing to hang your hat on. 

It is my thankless job to teach you these types of things, if I feel like it.   I don't know how much I feel like doing it day after day.   People don't listen, and they want to keep their layers, because life seems to scary without them. 

On top of all your layers are things like peer pressure.   What happens if the people who know you are a church goer knows you do x and y etc...   What if they knew what you were looking at on the internets???   How much time you spend doing whatever.  What if they knew your blind ambition.   Your arrogance, and everything about you. 

I try to tell people their life is worth one coin.  Not different than anyone else.   No more special, and no more important, but that is not what they want to hear.   We want to hear we are special.  Our lives do mean something, and we do good stuff.   The stuff we do matters, and it makes a difference. 

Well, it doesn't make a difference.   You are not special, and Your coin isn't worth more than anyone elses.   Pebbles on the beach is the amount of people who lived on this silly planet.   Each putting in their time.  Each believing in some way they were special, their coin was unique, and they make a difference. 

The more you hold onto your old ways the worse people you become.  The World grabs you and holds on, and this blog is trying to take off your layers, and this is the last thing you want to hear.   What I have to say, because it battles your whole being, and you want the World.   You want everything that makes you "feel" special and unique, and talented, and gifted, and all those things. 

So yeah, I don't know how much I feel like doing this day after day.   People are disappointing, and uninteresting.  Their lives are boring, and isn't that life anyway??  Day after day after day of the same old stupid world. 

Do you ever walk into your house, and sit on the couch, and think,  Now what?? 

LOL   happens to me all the time. 

Anyways I warned you about this a while ago.   I told you all the things you clothes yourself in, and the activity Gods you worship I will be taking away.   All the things you tie your worth up in I will be taking away, because you put your faith in everything, But. 

You are wrong, and you need to be fixed.   Hard to fix someone when they think they aren't wrong, and when they think they have nothing to improve. 

I guess the direction we go is where you learn to evaluate your true worth.  

I warn you.   We ain't that fucking great.   Easier to accept shit early, and not hold onto stuff, but you try telling people the truth.  

Worst job ever.  

Anways, I guess that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))  

p.s.   I am going to take the Hopester for a little two miler.   I am not planning on it being the start of something special, or some start of a good running streak, but I'll try it today and see what happens. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D