Monday, January 22, 2018

Sometimes I Am Dumb.

Good morning. How's it going?  I guess I am ready to start the week. On Saturday I caught up on sleep, and stayed up late watching Divergent for some reason, and went to work at 5:00 AM on Sunday. So dumb. I have been pretty disciplined sleeping early on Saturday for a 5:00 AM Sunday work for about a year or so. I worked a lot at the grocery store at 3:00 AM before that,  so I guess I go to bed early on Saturday. That does change in March. Either I will have Sunday off,  or work like a 2nd shift. 2-3:00- midnight'ish I believe. If I work Sunday, I'll have Monday off. I am mixed giving up the job, cuz it is good money, but I'll have Saturday nights for the first time in years really. Before the bakery I did night stocking at the grocery store.

I sure haven't lived a glamorous life at all have I?  You make due I guess. Is that how that saying goes?   If all of a sudden you wake up one day having all the money you'd ever need what would you do different?  For me, I guess I'd fix up my house to maximize value,  and we upgraded cars. Not new, just newer. When you drive very little,  you don't need to waste money on new. I'll put 1000-3000 miles on my vehicle/year. Maybe less now that my work will be 1 mile from my house, and my Sunday job will be no more. That is probably a 15 mile round trip.

Anyway a lot got done this weekend. Lisa and Hailey finished the basement, besides framing out the opening for a door. Brian is doing that. Which means I need to get 2x4s. I could probably do it myself I guess.  I do lack confidence in those types of things, but I did run gas line for the vent free heater, and I wasn't confident about that. I do have the gunshot bullets for the floor nails. We did some framing before when we added the bathroom.

Just days in this life I guess. I am glad I cleaned up the kitchen yesterday. I made a mess while cooking the night before.  I think in the end none of this is significant. Our lives aren't. If you continue to try and author your own story,  you will never live your best life.

At this stage I don't even know how you can make that change. I guess you bump your head against the wall enough,  you may think there just may be a better way.

Until then I guess you'll continue to get headaches.  :)  haha. Easy for me to say, since I haven't had a headache in years.

Anyway, this is pretty much about nothing. 

I'll cya.   :)

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Catching Up On Sleep.

I don't know if I ever know if I am tired, but when I got home yesterday I knew I was. I could barely keep my eyes open. I probably dozed a bit, but never really napped. Really the only casualty was dinner. I didn't feel like cooking so we just ate leftovers. That is fine too, cuz we tend to waste a lot of food. I am the best leftover eater, and I only bring lunch on Sundays job. Typically I'll have a bowl of soup at work. I may snack on something else or have an occasional tuna fish sandwich. Sometimes I eat breakfast, and sometimes not. It's like coffee. You never know if I'll want a cup or not.

Anyway, I caught up on sleep last night. I love my regular sleep. I suspect everyone does. Yesterday was just another day. Nothing too crazy. Nothing out of the ordinary. I suspect today will be the same. I am going to try something new to cook though. Not sure what, I'll just go through the cookbooks. That is pretty fun for me.

Today is a day that will start the rest of my life. I am happy,  and content to live each day as I do. I don't need to reinvent myself. I don't really need to do anything different. It doesn't mean I won't. I am just a new pair of running shoes away from running. I can do that if I wish. It would seem to be a good time to try. It isn't February yet, but I think the harsh part of Winter may be over. Maybe not too,  but the 10 day looks good. That being said, I have nothing I need to accomplish.

I will for sure never bike the big miles. I don't think. Unless maybe I listen to a book while going for a casual stroll. I should look into getting a good bike for just getting out there. I mostly am a point A to point B guy.

Of course that doesn't even matter. No points come from any of that stuff. In life we all toil in vain. Out trying to prove ourselves.  In the end we all fail. Mostly cuz our hearts do not act  in accordance with how our minds think it should.

Does that battle ever confuse you?  Why am I thinking this way when I know it's wrong?  Anger pops up for no reason. Surely we don't give a fuck as much as we think we should. We speak what we think we "should" say, but our hearts feel different.

Yesterday I saw some HS girls eating breakfast I think before school. One girl was buying maybe a pastry or something.  They were saying good bye and stuff. The girl doing the purchase said "luv ya" with a smile,  and the smile was long gone even before her head turned back.  I kinda wondered at that time what is going through her mind.

These kids aren't perfect. They have a lot to learn,  and young people look like they are growing up, but they don't know shit.

In good news they will stay as fake in the future as they are now. They aren't changing in that regard. They may care less what people think perhaps,  but their Instagram accounts won't show anything,  except what they want people to see.

We all are born pretty fucked,  and we don't have the tools to make ourselves better. A long bike ride does not change who we are.

You is what you have to deal with. I know some things about you that you don't,  cuz I know why I am not perfect. I know why I couldn't make myself that way. I know what inside me over powered me.

Cuz at an early age, I made the turn. The World was before me, and I saw there was nothing here for me.

So here on Earth there was this one person who came to a fork in the road, and actually did take the road less traveled. It didn't make me perfect,  but it helped me learn. I had much help through much suffering, but that is no concern now. 

What that means for you,  I have no clue.  I don't even know people. Outside of what they want the World to see anyway.

Maybe that is a problem too. At the end of the day no one knows you,  and you don't even know you. I am known,  cuz I am open and can be seen. I am unashamed of being imperfect,  although perfection is the end of the current version of me.

I think the cause for sadness, at least one part, is not being known. With people we haven't even scratched the surface.  There is a lot that cuts off the vision to us. We all are blind really,  and part of the story is to help you see. Most choose the path most traveled though,  and the World just isn't a good teacher.

Anyway, I bet this is long. 

Sorry, not sorry.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Byeee.    :)

Friday, January 19, 2018

A Day Among Days.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I stayed up late. I got my check yesterday, Lisa got a new for her car. It was a low mileage lease we got for a good price.  She got a car she wanted. It is an  AWD, that gets good mileage,  and is a mini SUV, so it has good storage. A lot of bells and whistles too, which I guess is normal for new cars. Basically a touch screen computer that handles controls I guess.

The main purpose for the purchase is to sell our other car to Hailey,  and her husband, so one, or both of them get a license and run their own errands. Lisa has to do that shit for them, and she has been over it for about 3 years or 10.

So it was a late night doing that shit. We ate in Grand Haven, cuz that is where we bought the car.

Other than that not too much. Work has been pretty easy lately. It is a welcome change after the holidays,  and we never know what March will look like. Working to fill two locations instead of one promises to be challenging.

I think I just wake up every day happy about life, and excited for the future. Not worried AT ALL about my end which is something we all will deal with.  I dealt with life.  I faced the harshest fears. I am secure I guess, and that feels good.  

Anyway, not much else.  Today is a day, and looking forward to it.  I just wish I went to bed at my normal time.  

Oh well. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Thursday, January 18, 2018

The Snot Factory.

Man this week I've been a snot factory. I slept as late as I could yesterday. Nothing in my chest, nothing in my throat.  No headache. Just an endless supply of snot. I blew my nose like a million times the last few days of work, but today I seem better. I couldn't taste my dinner the other night.  I was told it was good.  I made banana bread that night too. I was told that tasted good too.  The highlight of my day is dinner, and I couldn't even taste it.

Today I have coffee, and my nose seems fine. I can even taste my coffee. My big check is coming today. Tax free. All the taxes will be paid in the probate account, which has its own fiscal year and stuff. I think that is September. Basically I think my brother will close everything out then. He'll probably plan on selling the townhouse whenever he has a good idea of where he will be going. There is a big asset, and a townhouse that remain. My check I get today is $65,000.  I already have a good chunk from the previous smaller check. Of course the smaller check was the biggest check I've ever received by a lot.

I paid off a little debt I had, and yadda yadda yadda. There are changes coming though. With the new bakery I will have to work 2 out of every 3 Sundays, so I'll have to quit my cleaning job. It kinda sucks, cuz I've been with them a while. They pay me well, and give me holiday pay if we don't work on a Sunday. I also get quarterly attendance bonuses,  and end of year attendance bonuses. It's a good stress free job. The owners are good people too. In a way that sucks, but I will have a day off every week. Either Sunday or Monday.

Plus working Sunday I will learn more baking. Running the ovens,  and making donuts, and different breads. So that will be good. I know Jacob asked me like a year ago, if I wanted I could take more of a supervisor role in the operations part. Maybe not operations,  but with the sales,  organizing, and merchandising aspect. At the time I wanted to learn more about baking.  Production side. Each had its challenges,  and honestly would be fun, but production suits me.

So, yeah in two weeks or so my commute will be like one mile. That is pretty exciting actually. My life is looking up I'd say. Especially since it seems the snot factory has closed its doors to business.

Other than that not really much. Just doing the day to day. Nothing to worry about that I know of.

Not even sure what else I got planned this year. Outside of work,  eat, sleep.

That's the way I like it. 


Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

That One River... East Of Morgantown.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I did sleep in a bit, and also stayed up a little later than normal.

I didn't do much yesterday. Outside of work pretty much nothing. Lisa went out to dinner with friends so I made myself a homemade pizza. Loaded with veggies. My bil stopped by, and helped me eat it.

All in all it was a day in the life. Nothing too crazy at all. I suspect today will be similar. I have to run a few errands, so I'll drive. I did bike to work yesterday for the first time in forever. The sidewalks have not been good. They weren't great on my way home yesterday. They are not doing a good job this year keeping up. No biggie.

I don't have a lot on my mind, and I don't really have anything concerning me.  Just out living this simple life. Ya kinna want to grab the best parts of life. Unbeknownst to you, the best part of life is when you feel good on the inside. The best part of my life just so happened after I overcame the 2nd time.

I remember the drought years where I could barely blog. I was down and bummed kinda cuz I was getting nothing from anyone. At some point that didn't matter anymore. Your life, your decisions. You live with them,  and the consequences are not my concern.

If I remember correctly I think it used to help me when people blogged. I think it helped me blog myself. Now, no one has any say over what I do. People can blog or not it doesn't concern me. Mostly people don't blog much, for whatever reason.

One of the great things of being me, is being comfortable in my own shoes. I can take no credit in who I am now, cuz how I feel on the inside was not always like this. Before and after the dead years there mostly was fear. Living terrified most of the time really,  and than I was accepted. That is the best part. Security.

Now, you have no idea what I am talking about, cuz my shoes have never ever been near to your understanding. My path was solo,  and no eyes have seen it.

I cannot take you from point A to point B. How you'll even get there is anyone's guess. I pretty much am no longer any help.  You kinda are on your own. I have no clue your story either.

In the end our lives mean nothing, so really what are we gonna blog about anyway?  A day to day of nothing? 

Pretty much, I guess. I still wake up happy and content most days. I am grateful for that.

Anyhoo, gotta run. 

Have fun.   :)

Luv Ya's.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Monday, January 15, 2018

There Is Still Time For A Pantomime

I don't know how many people know that. Most people think there isn't enough time. I am not sure if they heard it on Fox news or what, but nothing could be further from the truth.  There is Plenty plenty of time for a pantomime.  There got that off my chest.

Anyway, how's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty good day. On Saturday I went to see a movie. The Liam Neeson one. I like Liam Neeson movies. Afterwards I rented two more, cuz I was in movie mode. I went to the party for my Sunday job. I got $200 for perfect attendance, and a $25 gift card, I think mostly cuz I always show up, and do my job.  I also got a 3-pack of really good cookie sheets. You kinda randomly pick a prize that is wrapped up. That is what I picked, and it really is something we wanted. I didn't really feel like partying,  so I had 2 Coors Lights,  and a quick little drink before I left. I think I hoped it would make me sleep, but it didn't. I stayed up. I woke up early too, but was eventually able to fall back asleep.

Yesterday I put down the new flooring for my stairs downstairs. I repainted the risers too. It looks pretty awesome. We had to special order the stair nosing,  which sucks, cuz I want it done,  but it looks really good.  I fell in love with my table saw again. It has to be 15 years old, and still works like a champ. It made the job as easy as could be.

After that we watched football,  and had dinner down the street for industry night. 1/2 off. A pretty good day I'd say. I am not sure what I'll do today. I do have some more painting to do. Trim, and redo the walls going down the basement. Our house is really starting to shape up.

I'll probably get another big check this week too. About 1/3 more than the last one. So that's good too. Not that I need it, but we'll finish up the few things we have, and start setting stuff up for retirement.  I won't need hardly any return on investment, cuz our house will be paid off this year,  and we'll just save money, since we have few bills. If we save $30,000 or so each year for the next 15, how much do I need?  Couple that with a good chunk already, and I don't need much all things being equal.

I am going to run out of projects pretty quickly, so I'll have to do other things to keep me busy.

Anyway, this past year made a pretty easy life even easier. I was never one to worry too much about financial shit, and now I worry quite a bit less if it is possible to worry less than the nothing I worried before.

In the end you want to live a stress free life,  but that is impossible right? It is impossible, unless you took the steps I did.

Stress is not about having not enough money. Stress is being a slave to the World. Something we were all born into. You will never escape that on your own.

In a World where humans think they are marvelous, nothing could be further from the truth. You can't know that though. A path of learning you never set out to do. You only learn shit from this World. The secret learning comes from a different source. 

I don't even know how to help you along that path anymore.  You are lost, and I cannot help you. 

Anyway, I guess that's good. 

Have fun.   :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)))


Saturday, January 13, 2018

A Time Capsule, But For The Little People Who Live Inside Me.

Good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was another day. I did catch a fuck up on one of my doughs. I made sugar bread, and was getting ready to make the Pullman loaves, and I tried to think.  Did I put in yeast?  I don't remember adding it. I remember I needed to get it, but I never did. I looked at the recipe, and sure enough, I remember adding sugar, and salt, but no yeast. It's good I caught it myself,  cuz it would suck for the 3rd shifters trying to get the bread to proof,  but I had to remake the batch. That sucked,  but I felt my 2nd batch was the best one I ever made, so.

Other than that not too much. We went to my bil' s house for a dinner party get together. I made my stuffed mushrooms, which are actually quite good if I say so myself. It is green pepper,  onion, mushroom stems, and garlic sauteed in bacon grease. I drain it, and mix it with cream cheese, and bacon crumbled up. Cook it with a little water in the bottom til the shrooms are soft. Purty tasty.

Had some drinks,  got a bit silly, and came home at a reasonable time.  It was fun.

Outside of that not too much going on. I have 2 Christmas parties tonight. I am going to my Sunday job one. My main job scheduled theirs about 3 weeks after I already RSVP'd, so I can maybe show up for 45 minutes, but that seems strange.

Also I have another project. Stair treads for the basement stairs. I can do that today. What A difference that will make.

As you can tell, I pretty much got nothing.  

I think I'll make breakfast.

Have fun. 

Luv Ya's.   :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)