Wednesday, August 31, 2011

You Feel Me??

I am different.  I had something I knew that needed to be done, and I knew this a very long time ago.  As a matter of fact, I tried busting down the doors to do this thing a long time ago.  It was the wrong way to go about it.  I had to wait for this thing, because that was the right way to go about it.  I asked outside the garbage room why??  Why did you let me go so far???  Anyone remember the answer??

No I didn't know it was going to be so hard, and no I had no idea the things I would have to go through, seeing as I have gone through so much before.  I waited 17 years or so for things to start up.  I knew they had started up too.  It started up with blogs.  There are 4 original ones you know.  We have a history, and it is a pretty long one.  It started on a Sunday, and I think Tim Russert was still alive.  At night I would listen to Enya a lot, and many nights were filled with tears.  I don't know if you remember that year, but it was pure P.R. year.  I Pr'ed a 5K, 10K, 25K, 13.1, 26.2, seems like there was another one, but who can remember.  That was great to be honest, but it didn't mean I still did not have to do my final thing. 

My final thing is not an ironman, or a Marathon P.R.  I have to suffer, and the outcome is what Gina saw on my 73 mile bike ride a couple summers ago.  She kept saying "Do you see it??"   "Do you see it now??"  Then I realized," no that is me."  Where I thought I was going last year, last Thanksgiving.  Remember I won the race, but no one followed??  This time you have to follow.  Remember I told you aren't you glad you are not being asked to follow... yet.  I think you know where we are going too. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  After this trust me,  I will no longer be running marathons. 

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D  


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Doreen Makes Me Feel Good!! :)

When I am low on the wave life really sucks, and sometimes it just takes a little something something.  Most people turn their head, but sometimes people step up.  Doreen steps up a lot, and Jen Gray has at times, and so has Beverley Smith.  This blog is, and has been really weird to me, and it is hard sometimes.  I wonder if it is the surgery of what people view on the outside, to what is really in on the inside.  What people view on the outside is our shell.  We would like to show just our Tiger Woods stuff, but only the good stuff.  We don't want the rest of the world to know our real Tiger Woods stuff.  You know the jealousy, anger, judgmental side.  I guess we'd like people to see our nice house with the picket fence, and 1 dog, and two cats.  Let Everyone think our life is the best ever, but it ain't.  No one's life is absolutely perfect.  People die, and there are floods, and not to mention there is always a bunch of boring shit to do with life too.  Luckily none of us are slaves or serfs, or working as slave labor in a munition factory, or in hiding from people who have taken an active interest in some kind of genocide of some sort. 

I think it is good to have goals and something to work for.  That is why I liked training for marathons, and whatnot.  This year was not my year for good training due to injuries and shit, but I still am running, and now most of my running is to work.  I love that btw.  I cut the run in two.  My first section is around 19 minutes give or take.  That was what it was when I used to time it, when I didn't have a broken watch band.  :)  The 2nd part is around 11 minutes.  Between those two parts is a block where I go from 17th to 16th street.  I walk that.  It just gives me something to look forward to on the run.  Breaks up the run.  Not to mention I am running really early, when I am at my most energetic, so I love it.  :) 

Anyhoo I don't have much else today, but I would like to mention I offered a guest blogger to add a race report.  Who doesn't love race reports??  It just so happens one of the local guys here went from 250 lb. couch potato to 36 minute 5K'er to 25K runner, to Marathoner, to first time Ironman.  Now that ain't a race report, that is a life.  I'll give him time to write it, and I will post it on this blog.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. White Sox won 4 in a row, and are 5 games back, and the Yankees just basically fucking suck.  :)

Love you all  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo


Extras for Doreen.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  MWAH!!!  :)

Extras for SSB and Mommy.  :(    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

I do like my creeping when I have time.  :)   I don't do it as much as before though.  :)  LOL 


Monday, August 29, 2011

Strange Weekend.

Anyway I did not blog yesterday, and reason was I didn't have much I don't think, and I didn't want to do the screwy title and go from there type of thing, so I didn't blog.  Geesh I really don't have much today either. 

Let me start over.  I think what I have done is show myself.  I show you some good stuff, and I show you some bad stuff.  Now this will get dark for some of you, and I guess that is hard to read.  I am not all that interested in life to be honest.  I think a lot of it is boring, and I went through some really tough times, that I'd just assume not go through.  I love my wife, and my life with her is easy.  Life has a lot of stuff in it.  There are pretty flowers, and there were Jim Crow laws.  There are unique looking trees, and you know we think the human is civilized, but boy there is a lot of hate to go around huh?? 

I guess we believed the get married get the house, have kids, etc... but that is a fairy tale.  It was as good an idea as the collective could come up with.  Inside us all is another truth.  I just saw "Eat Pray Love" last night, and if that ain't more like the truth I don't know what is.  A lot of shit in life.  We all have done, and seen some pretty ugly stuff.  I mean remember how much we idolized Tiger Woods, only to realize he had his own issues.  There is no one who looked better in life, but how much did he hurt his wife, and kid you know. 

That is the hard part of life to be honest.  We want to hide all the shit that might make us look less than perfect, but that is the good shit.  The stuff we can relate.  Life isn't going out to live on Walden pond either, the life of seclusion is nothing either. 

Here I believe is the journey of life.  To look at everything with objective eyes.  That we have the ability to do.  All you believe to be true, and good, throw it out.  Look at life with eyes anew.  Accept that much of life is monotony, and boring, and there is really no soul mate.  That is a wives tale.  We try and get by as well we can, but we are people, and we are bound to disappoint. 

I am at a low point of the wave, so I don't think I really have much right now.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I slept like crap last night.  I tried having some drinks in the afternoon, but wasn't feeling it.  Like I said earlier the music left me for some reason.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Kim Kim Kim who has been quiet, and that always kind of worries me.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D



Saturday, August 27, 2011

Am I Positive???

That I could not tell to be honest.  As I take a look at the last couple of posts I talk of a point A to point B.  That is our life.  I look at life like an Anne Frank, because that was a real life.  A life full of hopes and dreams.  Anne was a real person, and she had love in her life, and anger, and a dislike for some people, and a wish for better days.  Some people lived as slaves their whole lives, and some were serfs, and some spent times in Gulags, and some endured the Crusades.  Life is full of that type of stuff. 

Here is my thought.  I think it is positive to look at your life.  I also think it is a necessary step too.  We haven't been happy every day, but we have been happy.  We haven't been sad every day, but we have been sad.  We are not nice all the time, but sometimes we are nice.  We are not mean all the time, but sometimes we are mean.  Now there is a great question.  Can you tell me why some days you are one way, and sometimes the other?  That kinda is the wave I talked about huh?? 

 I guess I did realize yesterday where we are headed.  The direction we are going.  I said it before, and I told you.  It is the story of my brother Jim who quite frankly did very little right in his life, but processed everything before point B was a point B.  He needed help with some stuff, and that was the Iz night.  That is the shit I have to do sometimes, and it comes without warning.  I hope I don't have to do anymore of it to be honest, and I think maybe I won't, but who can really tell.  I think Steve Rose, and my brother were able to do that stuff, and then their point B actually was a point B.  Ours will just be a view of point A to point B.  We process all that, and we will see what happens.  That I don't know, but we will need to be brave, and accept what we must do, and realize with help all and everything is possible.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Like Charisa said Our life is our life we do what we like.  Your life is your life do what you like.  Some of us like to drink and hang with our friends.  :) 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Boston Kim and Maggs, cuz I bet they'd be a riot to hang with .  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for the rest of you too.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Friday, August 26, 2011

Where Did The Music Go??

Well first off I did complete my 5 runs in 6 days, and now I am sore.  Not a injury sore, but just a ran 5 out of 6 days sore, plus remember I walk on concrete a gazillion miles at work too, so just activity sore.  That is all good.  Anyway I think I need music.  You know how music hits you, and you reminisce about life and stuff, and it gives you maybe a bit of pleasure/pain type thing.  I mean reminiscing is totally pleasure pain if not anything else ya know??  The music ain't hitting me.  What's up with that??  I know it probably is just a temporary thing. 

Let's take a look at my life for the shits and grins.  I work early, and have been working 6 days each week, since I am not doing long runs on Saturday.  I am all jazzed early morning, and ready to roll, but I get tired and fatigued after work.  Let us call it 12 hours.  I usually get up around 2 or so, and work til 2 or so.  So if you were one to wake up at 7:00 am, Your 7pm, is my 2 pm.  In the past maybe I'd get my workout in, but chances are I already got something in.  If I didn't I might get something in, or maybe not. 

As someone who doesn't have cable, and likes to be outside in the summer, that leads to just hanging typically, and that is what we do.  Hang with friends, or just Lisa and I sometimes, and listen to music, etc...  It seems on the external there ain't much to life.  All the important stuff is inside us too.  They are our memories, and our emotions, and how we deal with things that happen to us.  The price of not dealing in my opinion is bored, angry, I blame everyone in the world for my life type stuff.  I guess the more we don't deal the more we judge, because dealing is our way of saying, I can see why I did that maybe, or I can see why I do that. 

If history teaches us one thing it is the deck is stacked against us?  You know why??   If we cannot make perfection and total decency out of our lives, how are the collective going to make everything peachy keen for everyone else.  Especially when the collective actually have ulterior motives for damn near everything they do. 

I know people have goals etc.. but how important are they are in comparison to point B in the timeline.  You really have to accept life has a bunch of negative shit in it.  It is healthy to accept it and deal with it.  Blaming everyone else for perhaps not being 100% happy don't lead anywhere.  It is also healthy to accept you are not 100% happy, cuz if you were than the grass wouldn't look green elsewhere.  If you think someone else has a better life than you, it is more than likely a false vision.  We all are doing this point A to point B together, and we all have good days, and bad days, and good shit happens, and bad shit happens to us all. 

Oooooh, I guess I would have time to run to work if my legs would allow it, but they won't.  I need to fix my bike.  I am the laziest SOB I know.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Getting to know ourselves is  a process.  It takes time, and our vision does not become clear overnight. 

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of for EmployedJo who is going through a life changing time in her life, and she will need support.   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MWAH!!!   to her. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  to the rest o'yaz.   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I Give Out A Lot Of xoxoxoxoxoxoxo's!! Ha ha. Kinda Strange!! :)

Well today, maybe I will try to do a more normal'ish update.  :)  I don't always know, like I said yesterday, when I bring the heavy stuff.  Want to know something I was thinking??  I have been bringing some heavy stuff lately, and I equate that with speed.  Speed + race of life = we have picked up the pace.  Do you remember last year when I spoke of going into the Matrix zone, and things might get a bit strange.  Nancy and Olga were leading that charge, and that is hard to understand.  You know how they led it??  Being honest, and being "present"  That is actually Nancy's term, which best describes it. 

If we look at our life like it is a Journey. I guess it is.  I mean we all are different, but we all have one thing in common.  Point A to Point B.  Birth to death.  If we are here we won't escape that.  So it is a Journey, and the Journey is our childhood, and growing up, and the first girlfriend/boyfriend who broke our heart, and the ones that followed.  It is our accomplishments, and maybe the realization that all this will not endure.  Life, and history is full with a bunch of bullshit to be honest.  Corporations getting bigger and bigger, because greedy assholes don't enforce antitrust laws, and the bigger the corporation the stupider it becomes.  The people in power think they have a monopoly on intelligence, and they micromanage every detail to some of the most inane minutia you can believe.  There isn't enough trees in the world to contain all the stupid reports the corporations want to keep track of.  Give some dumb ass the ability to use a data base or a spreadsheet, and watch out.  You'll be surprised at what they can come up with.  That is their life's accomplishment too.  The making of various reports, that no one cares about.

What do you want to accomplish in life??  I look at a flower, and I think people are all flowers.  We all are different, and we all our special in our own way.  For us to bloom though we have to come out of our shell so to speak.  We need to overcome our fear, and show people who we are.  If you don't want to take the journey to find out who you are, than you will be lonely in a way.  Like I said within us is a truth, and it is who we are, and none of us are perfect, and we all fuck shit up, and it is fine.  We all can relate to shortcomings, cuz we all have them.  The more we show of our shortcomings, the more it will give people the courage to realize maybe it is o.k. I ain't that perfect.  I think when we get to that point we can learn to forgive ourselves, and others, because we have hurt people, and people have hurt us, and if there is a journey to peace it is a journey to forgiveness.

Normal'ish  oops.  Errr.  Went to Happy Hour with Lisa, Beau, Charity, and Jamie.  Had some drinks some talk, and some laughs.  My neighbor totally caught me peeing outside too.  DOH!!!   :)

Beau's birthday is today, and a big party this weekend.  Woooooooooooo!!!  should be fun.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I wasn't really paying attention, but I ran 4 of the last 5 days, and today will make it 5 of 6.  I will probably get injured again.  :)  j/k.   :)

Love You All!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I ain't giving any extras out past those  so  nah nah nah nah naaaaaaa  naaaaaaaaaaa.   :)

Have a fab day all!!!   :)   MWAH!!!!   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Well, I brought some heavy stuff the last couple days.  I don't always know it believe it or not.  I write, and go, and think throughout the day about the post.  Have always done it this way.  Like I said sometimes how we are, and how we think is how we are in relation to the wave. 

To tell you a quick story, you know I don't talk on the phone much.  Anyway a couple weeks ago, Lois and I exchanged phone numbers.  Just to call if you ever wanted to talk and whatnot.  Last weekend  she pocket dialed me, and we talked for a bit, and then last night we talked for like 1 hour.  WOAH!!!   Ummmm, that girl is a bundle of energy.  Now I saw her at Steve R's thing, and I think she was the first person I talked to.  She looked awesome.  Totally in great shape.  She does a ton of hiking, skiing, some running, biking, a lot of Yoga etc...  She lives in Colorado, which seems like just the totally most awesomest place in the world for her.  Like I said a positive outlook, and a bundle of energy.  You always get those people who are excited about life, and they talk fast, laugh a lot, and ready to jump to the next thing.  I swear my talk with her brought me down to a more even keel. 

Ya know even her life has some stuff in it too.  A while ago she lost 3 ex-boyfriends in like a 6-9 month time period.  Injuries, personal family stuff, etc...  That still is part of her life.  I mean her life is as full as any life I have heard, but still some stuff to make ya ponder.  I think we both agreed on a couple things...

  1. beer is good  (she drinks far too little though)   :)
  2. beer, and music are good things to help you reminisce about your life, and deal  (for us)--not for everyone I know.
  3. Living an active lifestyle is healthy.
  4. Outdoors, Outdoors, Outdoors...

I swear you look at some of the terrific people we had who went to Fremd it is pretty impressive.  The thing about it is how open we all are.  Let people see who we are and what we have done.  None of us are perfect, and we don't give a shit who knows it, and who sees it.  When you want to race the race of life, ya gotta be tough.  Look inside ourselves for our answers, cuz like Khien ended up better than the doctor, cuz he learned from his life, not the books.  Anne Frank was not a book, it was a blog.  So was "A Catcher in The Rye"  for those who have eyes, and ears, to see and hear these types of things.

I guess when you hear the voice, and you will, you might be tempted to say, nah that cannot be it.  That wasn't that, but it is, and the penalty of disbelief... 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I love getting my blog done at 3:30'ish, cuz then I getta run to work.  :)

Love You All!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Gina, cuz she can get xoxoxoxoxo's from me anytime.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxo  I wuv her.  :)

Extras for Lois  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A lot of people have shared parts of their life with me, and you know that is what it is all about. 

Have a great one all.  MWAH!!!   :)))


Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D  

Oh, Nancy and Olga went to Fremd too btw, about 24 years after me.  :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

What Will I Bring Today???

A lot or a little??  I am not sure.  I do know I will be getting some coffee right now, and you will have to wait a bit.  Hold on.  Maybe now would be a good time to pee, if that is ya sort of thing.  :) 

O.K. I am back.  Yesterday I brought some heavy stuff, and I appreciate the support.  I get a lot of support, and you know life still is hard.  I still have things I worry about here and there.  I think if you look at life one of the important things is support.  How much of what we do endures??  If you look at any wise decision it would be forward looking, and long term in view.  Ya hafta throw the garbage out too.  Where do you see yourself in 5 years??  That is a garbage question.  You don't know if you get diagnosed with cancer tomorrow.  You don't know if you run yourself into a heart attack.  All long term views, and forward thinking goes not to your retirement, but to your final destination 6 feet under.  Let's face it, we ain't going to escape that. 

As to the where do you see yourself in 5 years, let's ask a 12 year old Anne Frank where she saw herself.  A lot out of your control, and that is stuff you have to process.  Within us is all an ability to come to the truth, and it takes time.  We all have a bunch of junk in us.  There is plenty of that to view everywhere, but you have the mirror, and it shows you of life, and there is a director pulling some strings to give you a better view.  Easy??  no.  Why does it have to be this way??  Don't know.  Have to trust there is a higher truth than what one can view just from society and stuff.  Accept it too.  Accept all you have done.  Don't pretend you didn't do it, and accept all you think about too.  All that is truth. 

I don't really have much other than that.  I wanna thank all for the support you give me.  It means a lot.  Life ain't easy, and there are hard times for all here and there. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I am adding Kim Sheridan and Nate P. to xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, so they each get mentioned in Steve R.'s thing, and xoxoxoxo.  Kim, cause she is just awesome.  Nate, cuz his life is as hard as anyone out there.  He lost his wife to cancer, and is raising a couple kids.  We don't know his grief, but I offer him the little support I can.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, cuz I love her.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, Jules, and Brandy 4 de same reason.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for the rest o' yaz too, cuz sometimes we all need 'em.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

MWAH!!!   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D 

Monday, August 22, 2011

My Best Charity Was The Turn!!

Now you know my story, those of you who read this.  Well, I am going to send Doreen some flowers for her birthday??  Know why??  When I was down one day, she stepped up, and offered support.  Who I was, and who I am was important enough for her to say Steve I read.  How far does that go?  A million miles huh??  You know that isn't the easiest thing to do. 

I try to do that to others.  I get a feel for how they feel, by how they write.  Feeling sad, and bad, and stuff like that I try and step in. 

So here are my pictures for Doreen on her Birthday.  My little way to say she is important, and wonna da best.   :)   Took them specially for her yesterday.  :)






I had more pictures, but it takes a while to upload them.  I don't know how people can put so many pictures on their blog.  SHEESH!!  :)

with Love to Doreen.  :)  That is a pretty select group of people who got flowers on my blog.  :)  It ain't much, and ya can't take it to the bank, but you can put it in your heart.  :)

I know we look for meaning in our life.  We want it to be everything, and I know you wanna do good, and be good, but what can one do right??  As your vision becomes clearer and clearer ya realize not a lot out there is there?  I told you after college I was searching.  Remember I almost cheated on Katrina with the pretty blond.  Umm she was fricken hot btw.  I didn't care, I was drinking etc... but to see how much I hurt her.  Holy crap.  This is NOT who I want to be.  My step-mom dies, and my Grandpa dies, and I look at all the available jobs to do.  The world looked like a pile of dung to me to be honest.  Everything seemed stupid, and I made the turn.  I didn't offer anything except my life.  Can I do anything??  I waited and waited, and was led on this journey.  A journey of tears, and suffering, etc...  I endured all with help, cuz he said he would save me from everything.  Remember when I suffered more than anyone ever I knew.  To the point where like Job I prayed make it so I was never born.  Then he lifted me up, and I was full in spirit.  I trusted the fullness of it, and I could do no wrong.  He didn't want me to trust in that though, and he made me very poor in spirit, and I have been like that since.  He also told me I was worst of the worst.  I thought huh??  How?? why???  I was angry, and told to do some things.  Want to know how it happened??

I was going to be disobedient.  I'll show you.  One time I was getting grounded, and my step mom told me to count the number of items on the floor, and that is how many days you will be grounded.  So I counted more than the amount of items that were on the floor, to show her.  Yeah, I am dumb.  :)  On this day outside Bromenn Healthcare by the garbage room, I said well, that was pretty dumb.   I said I might as well be smart about it, even though I am unhappy.  I did what he asked, and I knew I did right right away.  Then I was led on the journey to the hospital, and than the physical depression, and then the wait of however many years it took for this to start up with Heimleblog, and The Journey.  Now my blog is "The Wait" and I wait to do one final thing.  I have a pretty good idea of when it is going to be too. 


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has  a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  as you know trust is the quid pro quo, and that started with Olga.  Olga and Nancy both stepped in last summer, and offered support, and Gina did too, and Kim Sheridan, and Jen Gray, and even Theresa Nelson.  Ya see now we are racing the race of life, and that is how I help.  Well not me exactly, but my help does that.  Remember yin and yang though.  There is an opposing voice who will make it easy for me to think the worst.  A voice of one who does nothing, but lie.  Shoot straight with me and all will go well.  Ya don't shoot straight it will make the path harder.  I will suffer, and you probably will too. 

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, Jules, and Brandy  *the girl*  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Pretty heavy one huh?? 

Extras for Beth Rose Mickel, because  she is strong.  She is honest, and I dig that.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I Have Never Used Gina In My Title Before

I love her though, and trust her, and can count on her for anything.  Having said that, I think I am going to send flowers on my blog to Doreen on Monday.  It is her Birthday tomorrow.  :)  I trust her too, and love her.  :)



That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  You all love me,  whether you do or not.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Christie cuz she needs them sometimes.  We don't always feel great about ourselves, and she should always, cuz she is funny, and pretty, and has a great personality.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Gina.  SHEESH,  sometimes I don't even think Gina needs them, but sometimes we all do, and you know I'd give em to her anytime.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for my wife, cuz her husband drinks too much.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D  :D 


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Yellow Ants Did Not Make The Casserole We Didn't Eat Last Night...

Is that important??  Maybe maybe not, but I am not sure if there even are yellow ants.  I am not sure if there were if they would know how to make a casserole.  Doubt it.  I also doubt I was in the mood for a casserole last night anyway.  So There.  Get the important shit out of the way first.  :)

Geez, I really don't have much today.  Lemme get some coffee, and maybe something will come to mind...

OMG I really have nothing.  I guess I will tell of my day and my thoughts.  Here is one I had, and it hits me on days like this when I have nothing to write.  You know how I said faith is like a wave that eventually hits it's destination.  You are in the middle of the ocean riding waves home, and you go up and down, and up and down.  Some days, I have so much to write, and my mind knows it has stuff, and than today there isn't much.  Some days I bring the heavy stuff, and somedays not.  Sometimes high on the wave, and sometimes low.  Maybe that is how we are.  You know we love consistency.  We'd love to always feel the same way, but that really isn't the case is it??  Let us go under another assumption.  There is no special pill to make us all feel level headed all the time.  Let's say the new normal is that wave.  Sometimes we are up, and sometimes we are down, and a lot of the time we may just be in the middle ground.  Let's just put that down as there is a lot to all of us.  Our thoughts will be different depending on where on the wave we will be.  :)

Down days are those internal rainy days, and the up days are the let your hair down days.  We'll just call that "normal" 

Oh geez, guess we'll call that the update.  I am going to work today for a bit.  I got a new blackberry I have to play with.  WOAH!!!  way better than my other one.  I am so lost.  :)  I guess I will run to work, and see where the day ends.


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I need to cut my toenails sometime.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

My Wife's craft desk with flower vase *fake*

I offer these flowers for Jen Gray.  She should like crafty flowers, and only two other people ever received flowers on my blog before.  One was Gina, and one was Charisa.  Check out Charisa's update btw.  I loved it.  She let us know a bit of herself, as she is pretty good at it.  :) 








Here is a picture of my wife with the monster dog Hope.  Little Fucker.  :)  


Extra xoxoxoxoxoxoxo   for you all today.  :)   MWAH!!!   :)  

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

Friday, August 19, 2011

Quick Friday Update!!

Well it is Friday so that is good news.  I woke up late so that sucks.  Reason is Lisa came home late from work, so the dogs went berserk, I was up, and slept late.  :)

I was thinking about yesterday's post while I was up at around midnight.  It made me realize what type of post that was.  You  know how I always go on about being strong being strong etc...  I also had a post a while ago that said being strong is going to an area where maybe you feel your weakest.  You know we take the turtle shell off, and expose our vulnerable side.  It is there where you need support.  Can you believe when you become your most honest is when you become your most exposed. 

I think in our hearts of hearts we want to be understood.  We want to be known, because without that life can be lonely in a way you know. 

I have been seeing posts like that I'd say.  One where you don't have all the answers.  You have stuffed yourself in this box for so long, and realize... is this it?? 

I don't know it seems the eyesight on some is getting much better. 

Oh well I gotta run. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  *tap tap tap*  This thing here work???   ;)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I sometimes feel stupid throughout the day when I give out extra xoxoxoxoxo's to people.  Sometimes I think about people though, and want to give them out.

ehhh today I guess is one of those not wanna give out extras although I am thinking of people.  :)

Extras for all those who are slowly pulling off your shell.  It takes courage, and you are showing courage.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

MWAH!!!!    :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now I really gotta go.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D  



Thursday, August 18, 2011

Good Morning Everyone!!! :)

Hello, how is it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had a good day yesterday.  I was productive at work, and I ran to work, and that is my first run in a while, but it was pain free.  I accept my running now, as me not being in marathon training shape.  I had a good few year stretch where busting out a 12 mile run was no big thing.  I am building from scratch again, and I have to accept that.  You know there were times in my training usually later August earlier September where Saturday was just an easy 16 miler, because you've been huffing out some 20 milers.  Due to injuries that is not me, and I accept it.  :)  See, I am a quick learner.  It only took about 47 injuries this year for me to get to this point.  :)  So that is where that is.  No plans, and no goals for races this year.  I like biking and running, and will build on running.  By biking, I like biking for transportation, not so much for 4 hour bike rides, but we all do our thing. 

I don't really have a lot besides that I guess.  As you see when I go through a bit of a rough patch I pick up more bloggers to read.  :)    Many people are dealing with questions of their life, not just bloggers.  This is a hard time, because really people search for meaning.  As a husband, and a wife, as a brother or a sister, or as a son or a daughter, you are going to fuck that up.  You will make mistakes, you will hurt people, you will belittle people, and make them feel not as good about themselves as maybe you should.  All that still can be used though, you see bad stuff can make us stronger, it can still be used, cuz if life is one thing it is hard for everyone.  Not all the time, like I said if you have  a good day let your hair down and go at it.  (whatever that means to you)  Some drink, some exercise like there is no tomorrow, read books, do art, cook, see a movie, some do really stupid boring shit with their significant other.  :)  LOL  I never let Lisa make me do stupid boring shit.   :)   Ha ha!!! 

I am totally winging this update, but I guess it is o.k. to not have all the answers.  It is o.k. to feel alone in this world.  No one really gets you totally.  It is o.k. to be sad sometimes, and confused, and lost.  Being strong is accepting that, being not strong is pretending it isn't there.  We all struggle with stuff.  We all sometimes don't feel like a billion bucks, but that is why I like to do this. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  o.k.  I don't really have one.  Hope this one is good enough.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for everyone, because there really isn't a manual for life, and we all struggle with stuff, and you all can use some xoxoxoxoxoxo's sometimes.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Some Days I am Just A Worthless Piece Of Shit!!

That was yesterday.  I think I knew it was going to be a day like that.  I woke up late, so I didn't run to work.  I still blogged, because I don't feel good if I don't.  Like I am supposed to do this.  I like doing my signature line just to prop people up.  I still sometimes feel small, and when I feel small I shrink into myself for strength, and sometimes lash out.  Who are you that you are so much better than me?  That type of shit. 

Kinda the you haven't walked in my shoes, you don't know what it is like to be me.  You don't know some days I feel like death is better than life, but I know it passes.  I haven't walked in your shoes, but I don't think they are easy shoes to fill.  Your life ain't no fucking picnic, and either is mine.  You know people deal with depression.  Internal rainy days, and that is something to endure.  It ain't no help, if I worked harder... nope not everyone can for varying reasons.  Little small steps to make improvements.  We expect people to win the lottery, and become better people, but it is small steps. 

In  our life we all have a bunch of bullshit that makes our life kinda of suck.  Look at it this way though.  Keep it positive.  Everything, and I mean everything can be used for good.  It can make you stronger, it can give you a better, clearer, truer perspective of what life is.  Right now you are at a bit of a disadvantage, because you trust only what you can do.  You have no idea all that is possible, but that is a process.  One I went through a long time ago. 

You'll find in the end nothing really matters, but truth and honesty, because that shit endures, and that shit is respected, because being strong is about being honest, and it ain't so fucking easy is it??  Even if you aren't the spiritual/religion type person you gotta respect honesty.  If you are that spiritual/religious type person than whose side is dishonesty on right?? 

You'll find it is not about being right.  Remember the start of the Journey???  What I wanted most, because I was scared??  Nope it was about being honest, and showing my stuff.  I showed a lot, and let you see me.  I woke up *almost* every morning, strong, but didn't mean I felt strong the whole day.  Felt scared, and shitty a lot, but I came back for more.  Now I had help that I know, and I could tell you some really whack and crazy shit, but I think I'll just leave that to myself if that is o.k.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Told you I was a complete ass face.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Beth Rose Mickel, cuz yesterday's post was not about her at all.  Some other horseshit going on.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She and John Miller are the leaders of the Steve R. thing, so should never worry about anything. 

I'd give some to Kelly Dunleavy, cuz I can relate to her a lot, but don't feel comfortable giving her xoxoxo, so I'll just mention her.  :)

I totally wanna give some to Jen Gray, cuz she gets it as well as anyone.  To throw your shit out there is not always easy, and when you do people need support.  I wrote in a comment that was unpublished that the race of life is not won without support.  She gets that as well as anyone.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Who would have thought girls would be the one to step in on that thing the most.  Go figure huh??  Who would have thought that men are the weaker sex in things pertaining to that?? 

Beverley Smith is a strong girl, and so is Doreen  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Let Your hair down and go wild on the good days folks, no reason not to.  Endure the internal rainy days.  Those are hard, and like Kelly said during her run.  Those shitty moments too shall pass.  :)


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,  especially to those who swore on my wall.  I love that shit.  :)  

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D ---just forgot it yesterday.  Didn't mean anything.  I was going to say something on Twitter, but didn't.  Like I said I am an assface.  :)   :D

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I Shoot Straight, So Things Don't Get Misinterpreted.

No silly games for me.  Life is fucking tricky enough, and I have to deal with enough shit just being me.  You'll find honesty is a hell of a lot cuter than manipulating type games.  Manipulating type games is just your way of being a complete asshole. 

Since I am a straight shooter, and like only 3 people read this fucking thing, I am going to be an asshole with a list.  (only being an asshole to the non-readers btw)  need to get that straight.  :)

Things I learned:

  • Hobbies are for fun
  • Death is for real.
  • There are more life lessons in viewing your mortality than what you do with your hobby.
  • There are more life's lessons in your thoughts than some race.
  • Your life is more than training, and racing, if that is what you do.
  • Did you know some people wrote books??
  • Did you know some people wrote music??
  • Did you know there are movies???
  • Did you know people are dying everywhere for some pretty stupid reasons??
  • If you don't know this shit, than your head is buried in the sand.  
That is my blog update for today!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Sorta hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I am more interested in you bloggers, than your hobbies.   DUH!!!   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, cuz she gets me.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh yeah I hid some things yesterday, and Doreen knows the reason.  Thanks for those who got in touch with me anyway.  You know who you are.  :)  LOL




Saturday, August 13, 2011

EEEEEEeeeee-GadddddddDDDDDDsssss

I have no idea what I am going to write so thus the title.  I guess I should write something though.  You people are acting strange for some reason.  What is up with that??  I think I get it.  All your life perhaps you had yourself boxed in.  This is me.  Right here, and maybe I may try to tweak this or that a bit to improve.  I am good, my friends are good, and others many times are just fucked up fuckers.  Then along comes this mirror, and this whacky dude who says look.  Perhaps it is different, and maybe you don't see it yet, but you are so much more than what box you closed yourself into.  The stuff you cannot see actually is seen, and maybe it is scary or something.  I know you never heard this stuff before, and you know what??  Well I don't know, it is kinda weird huh?? 

The mirror leads to the truth, and the truth will set you free.  Along the way though you stop trusting everything you used as support before.  You lose faith in everything in this world, because everything here will surely disappoint.  Trust me on that. 

I don't know what you think about, but if you have some fear, embrace it, and realize not many have walked this path.  :)  Fear is a great crutch, because of the promise it will go well with those who have it.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I need to get some jock itch stuff.  scratch scratch scratch.  :)   LOL

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Jenny Parker Harrison, cuz she is racing, but she still needs 'em, and I love her.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for all the xxxxxxxxxxx  people  dey de best.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wanna know why I like Doreen so much??  cuz she likes the "Jackass" movies.  What is not to like about those??  except maybe the puking on yourself.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

For the rest of you toooooooooooooo.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Friday, August 12, 2011

What Would You??

Just a quick update.  I have to get ready for work, and I am driving today, cuz we are gettin a little work done with the car.

I'll just throw this out there, I think I have said it a ton of times.  We all are different.  Don't you want to find out who you are?  It seems some people want to box themselves into some group for security, but ya know your life is you.  You can't say, yeah but we were,  yeah but they said,  yeah but, yeah but.  Nope what have you done.....  What do you think of in your quiet moments.  All you try to hide still gets seen.  It is like my brother Jim's favorite saying.  "It's weird, but I have never been so happy".  Fuck you ya damn liar.  Don't ya see the shit we try to hide is the good stuff.  We use the shell for our security, but the job is to get under the shell.  You will find people will love you more there.  :)

Food for thought.  Anyway just to let you know what is going on in my life.  My run yesterday was not as good as I would have liked, so I went out and bought a new pair of running shoes.  I love Asics, cuz they are so comfortable, but they do not last 500 miles.  I have no idea how many miles I had on them, I also used them at work when I ran to work, so maybe there were 500+ miles.  I will try, and run tomorrow, and hope all goes well.  :)

My friend Beau re-injured himself... partial tear of the achilles so he is off work, and stuff.  So we drank the last couple days.  When I feel down Beau is someone I can always turn to, cuz he always keeps shit real.  We can laugh at ourself, cuz we are the most fucking pathetic people each of us has met.  You want shit done around the house??  Don't look at us lazy slobs.  We are fricken pathetic.

Something we discussed is the property values.  I mean have I always been so pathetic?  I think part of the problem is you can do $2000 in remodeling and stuff, but you ain't going to get it in return.  In this area, as in many areas if you had your house for a while, than you probably ain't going to get what you put in.  Mortgage + Home Equity, and your probably fucked.  We luckily are at the break even--- hopefully- point at our house.  Of course it means the 10 + years of money + remodeling was a waste of fricken time, and money.  Break even in what we owe by the way. 

I don't know.  We cooked out last night, had some beers, had some fun.  It was a nice summer night.  I am pretty lucky I think, cuz I never overdo the drinking too much.  Have enough to get a little silly, and still feel fine the next day.  I am never one of those drink for 8 hours types of people. 

Oh well a little about me.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I like coffee.   :)

Love You All!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best!!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for BsfromD  cuz I like'd her update, and I sometimes creep her Twitter wall.  (daily)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ha ha Ha !!   What a creep I am.   :)   LOL

wanna know a quick story about D.  I commented on her blog once when I was really shy about that stuff anonymously.  Wishing well for her sick cat with a bad leg.  Then I did again, and it got misread, so I gave her my name and who I was.  That was after heimleblog, and during the Journey.  I even sent her a pre-race blog via e-mail.  After the race I thought of the old guy.  She for whatever reason has been a part of some hard times for me.  what the heck.  I'll give her extra xoxoxoxoxoxoxo's for that reason only.  :)


Extras for the rest of you too.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :)

Happy Friday alllllzzzzz!!!!   :)

MWAH!!!    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D  :D

Thursday, August 11, 2011

It Don't Take Much...

I need to feel awesome.  I need to feel...however foolish... that I have 1 million people who read me.  When I feel like that I can support, and I can make this blog about you.  It don't take much to knock a person down, and luckily there are real superstars who are willing to go out on a limb to help a person up.  Some people are having tough years, whether it be illnesses, and deaths, depression perhaps.  A lot of stuff.  Life goes on, and it ain't always fricken great for everyone.


It is hard for people to always feel good about themselves.  We fuck up  enough stuff on our own.  Then you add bills, and stupid life shit, rainy internal days, illnesses, or let's say you have a goal for a year like me, to maybe run some races.  Hope for some p.r.'s etc... and the year is complete shit as far as that is concerned.  There is enough stuff, like I say, for us to feel like complete shit about ourselves.  Maybe that is our biggest sin, that we... ALL OF US... have helped others along the way to help them feel like complete shit about themselves.  You know we ain't perfect, and we all are guilty of that.  When I looked back a long time ago it really bugged me I was, and am that person.  If you looked at my life I probably tore down more than I built.  Now you know what I do??  Nothing.  I let it all be done.  I have a promise that all will be for good.  Luckily I am pretty strong most of the time to help support people.  I get little obstacles thrown my way, but ya think the one with perfect vision will let me stay down??  NOPE!!

Up to my rescue comes a superstar of a person.  Yeah she is a pro Triathlete, but she supports people during a complete shit year for her.  One where life and death held in the balance.  So she is a superstar, and comes out of nowhere to lend me a helping hand.

Her name is Theresa Nelson, and I am adding her to xoxoxoxoxoxo, and the reason why should be no surprise to those who have seen her comments.  She is a total xoxoxoxo  person.

Let's face it too, being an xoxoxoxo person ain't no shabby thing.  You got Doreen, Jules, Brandy, Jen Gray, Heidi Austin, Tia Kminek, and I'll add Tammy too to that.  These are some pretty great people.  I hope I forgot no one.  Oh yeah, Jen H, and Julia too is in that group too, so when I add someone to get mentioned every day in there, that is a pretty high honor in my blog.  Maybe it don't mean much to you, but to me it does.

With that I say...

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I would add Leigh Kminek to whatever, but I want her to blog.  She is a blogger, and she has always been in my list.  She hasn't really increased my reading much since Christmas though.  ;)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Theresa Nelson for stepping out and making me feel important.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Jilly tots for calling Melly Stark  Mellie Wellie.   :)   and for her having a burpday yesterday.  :)   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras for Ceri for always being funny.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras for EmployedJo for always being a bit of sunshine in everyone's life.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras for Tia, cuz she helps support people  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

oh, and yes I am running to work today, and sadly... or not... I am working Saturday.  Gotsta bring in de moolah.   I think I am healthy though, so maybe go long on Sunday.  I'll let ya know.  :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   allllllllzzzz

MWAH!!!   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

Monday, August 8, 2011

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays???

Ha ha ha!!!  On days like this I like Monday.  I slept in til 5:00 am, which as you know is late for me on a weekday.  I don't really have much, but I guess I'll just start and see where it heads.  Yesterday I tried my run with Hope, and only made it a little over 2 miles, and had to walk the rest of the way.  My calf was feeling tight, and not the type of tight you can stretch, which is why I walked the rest of the way.  I also took Cammie for a walk too, and then I napped.  :)  Lisa and I went out to lunch, and then she went and visited a friend, and I just hung outside with the puppies. 

I learned some things yesterday.  My neighbor who has called the police on our dogs like a million times was headbangin to ACDC.  WOAH!!  I never knew.  That was kind of interesting.  Good on him.  :)  LOL. 

Blogger Julia-aka- Go Big Green is a triple bypass survivor.  She is doing her first ironman I think this year.  You know she has been racing this year, and not putting the pedal to the medal a lot.  Which btw is way faster than I can go anyway, but wow huh.  She is probably my age, in terrific shape, and an athlete all her life.  Wow huh?? 

For that I am going to add her to xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  too, cuz it seems I always comment on her blog with xoxoxoxoxo's anyway.  :)  She is a terrific person too.  She is funny, and outgoing, and friends with Jen H. so can't be all bad huh?? 

Also Ceri and @Babs5665 lost Ceri's grandma, and Babs mom I believe.  Babs is still recovering from a breast cancer surgery.  Her 2nd bout, but got a clean bill of health.  Poor girls. 

There is a lot to life, and this is going to get done on its own time.  I don't worry too much, because I am just along for the ride.  I am here to help support, and hopefully have a few laughs along the way.  Other than that I don't have much so we'll end it there for today.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I need to shave and get a haircut.  :)  #random   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Julia, because I'd imagine she views her own mortality a lot, and she is courageous about it.  I bet her husband thinks about it too.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Extras for the rest of you too, because life is sometimes hard.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

MWAH!!!!    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Sunday Is My Friday With Friday and The Weekend Off!! :)

Yep you heard it right folks.  I have the next 3 days off, and I am going to let you all know about it.  Not in a teasing way, but more in a very mature nah-nah-nah-nah-naaaaa-nah way.  I am enlightened like that.   :) 

First off, I will say I did get a little exercise in yesterday.  With a walk to work, and a work, and a walk back from work, that is a minimum of 10 miles walked at a brisk pace.  I walk fast.   A little something something.  I could have drove, but decided to just walk it.  As a matter of fact I was pretty dang hungry too after the walking.  It don't seem like much but every little bit helps.  My calf feels pretty good today too, so I may go for a little run.  Hope for 6, and cut short if I need to.  I'll let ya know how it comes out.  :)

As I look at my past I am trying to think of how my path may relate to yours.  I guess I don't know, all walks are personal.  I know eventually you get to the point where you get to what can you trust??  So much put so much faith in the "Full Faith and Credit of the U.S. Gov't" and you know they probably said the same thing about the Mighty Roman Empire.  Through things like Enron, etc... you realize greed plays a part.  Those guys were laughing about some poor old granny who they didn't know, but they added stress to her life, and you know she had family, and they were making bank, until the bubble burst, and they had nothing, except now they had to deal with how much of a fucking asshole they were.  The C.E.O.'s played dumb, and whatever.  Balance Statements turned into a big shell game, and someone found out.  They needed to make a payment somewhere, and guess what  they had no money, and the shells weren't worth piss.  Not very transparent huh??  That is why you have to realize our vision ain't perfect.  What you cannot see on your own, maybe others cannot see, and maybe they are fucking lying to you anyway.  We as people lie, because who wants to show how fucking dumb, and pathetic, and imperfect we are??  Especially to strangers.  That is the good shit though.  Nothing wrong with not taking yourself so serious all the time.  There is serious stuff, and it has to be looked at, and you all have your own story.  Believe it or not, none of us would have a problem knowing it. 

Some people hide behind current events and shit like that, but your life is more fascinating than what 95% of the stupid fucking news would tell you.  My opinion.  No offense if any of you people are newspersons.  :)   LOL.  I know the path is inside your head, and you look for the correct way, but it is not done on your time.  There is an author of sorts to our lives, and we should be open to try and see the story.  Why is it this way??  Good question. 

All I know is we are headed in a direction, and we are moving, and you cannot stop it, we just see where this ends.  I have a feeling I know some of it, but it should be interesting all the same. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. first time I looked at the standings in a while.  I don't look if the White Sox lose, and we lost to those asshole Yankees.  Only 6.5 back though.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, and I don't even know her story.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Heidi Austin, because she is the full package.  Tough, determined... etc....  She has  a shell, but I know underneath is other stuff.  Like everyone it is hard to show the stuff, and maybe even hard to see, but I can see that part about her.  I am going to add her to xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo so she gets mentioned every day even if I don't mention her, because she gives Kim Kim Kim xoxoxoxo's a lot.  So good enough for me.  :)   Oh, and I want to try to go to Cedar Point to watch her tri on Sept. 11th if anyone is interested.  I know this isn't the correct venue to find people to come along, but thought I'd throw it out there anyway.  She is a blogger, and a rock star, so can't be all bad.  :)   Oh yeah.  these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Jilly Tots, and Ceri, and Melly Stark, and Beverley etc... I love those xxxxxxxxxxxx people... they the best.   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  :)

I didn't give Gina any, but I know her story as well as anyone.  She makes it every day with her own line.  Ya know how I say we all come from somewhere??  She doesn't know where she came from really, but she is a great Mommy, and a great person, and she too has a shell with the soft part underneath, and ya know.  We only really look at our undershell part in our quiet times it seems, or with our closest friends.  We all are that turtle, no matter what you think.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Have a great day today everyone   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D  :D 

 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Good Morning. :)

Hello, I hope we are all doing well today.  I slept a little late, so no blog yesterday.  I was surprised when I woke up, and saw it was almost 4:00.  I was like SHEESH!!!  Going to work was kinda funny.  I fixed another bike in the garage the day before.  It was Lisa's that she never uses.  :)  I'd say a mile or so into my bike to work I rode over something perhaps, and the derailleur exploded.  I mean so much so I just left the bike where it was to have nothing to do with it anymore.  So, I had to run to work in my shorts I was wearing to work.  Needless to say I had a bit of sweaty ass first thing to start off my work day.  :)  I made it on time barely.  One note on the run to work was my calf didn't bother me too too much, and I now get the pleasure pain when I stretch, so it ain't nothin serious.  My year still sucks ASS though, and don't seeing it get better... on the running front.  Oh well. 

I don't really have anything serious to write about today, and I think that is good.  Sometimes I throw the heavy shit down, and sheesh, I don't know how that gets taken.  I just stand here naked in front of you all giving you everything on my mind, and let you take it as you do.  I do have a bit of an advantage in I think you probably... those who read... think more of how my posts relate to you, then I think of how my posts relate to you.  I have no idea what some of you think about, and what some of you struggle with.  I know we like to always appear strong, but sometimes we all struggle with life.  Sometimes it is great, and sometimes it sucks.  My moods swing on a pendulum, and you know what??  That is normal.  We all have good days, and we all have bad days.  Kinda like somedays you want to say I have the best life, and then next day your thinking.... OH SHIT,  everything sucks.  Not everything, but I guess we all get the life is blah thing once in a while. 

Oh well,  I had fun yesterday, and I get to work today, and I am well rested, and in a good mood.  :)  I am taking Monday and Tuesday off of work because I need a little break.  I keep getting sidetracked at stuff at work, and I feel like I do a bad job at my job, although I know what I keep busy with is helpful.  One of the dilemmas of always having stuff to do.  You never finish.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Hope You All have a fantabulous day.  :)   xoxoxoxo

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, cuz it always begins with her.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Doreen and Jules, and Brandy  *the girl*  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Tia, cuz she is pretty, and everyone loves Tia.   :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tammy too, cuz I don't give her a lot of xoxoxoxo's   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lexx Clarke cuz I think he turns 50 this weekend, and he is having Lexxfest at his house.  He is the type of guy you can give xoxoxoxo's to too, but I am just going to give him these.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   :)

Paige Johnson who I am related to someway has a birthday today too.  I met her once too.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo   Holy Shit has she grown up this year too.  ZOIKS!!!   :)

Maggs of SSB, cuz I like her a lot, and I think she needs them sometimes.  I found her through Jessica's blog, and Jessica disappeared.  I even e-mailed Jessica to make sure everything is o.k., unanswered.  I have that effect on people though.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

For Jessica too if she is still around.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Jen Gray, cuz even the Jen Gray's of the world need xoxoxoxoxo's   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Naomi 'Laakonen' White  She is a new friend of mine, and she has an illness/disease that possibly can cut her life expectancy in half.  She has a kid and a husband, and a terrific outlook.  Happy some, and sad some, but wears her heart on her sleeve, and it is a big heart.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I think that is it for now.  Sorry if I forgot anyone.  Oh, and btw next weekend, I am going to watch a tri in Benton Harbor.  I don't know all who are racing, but Jen Harrison, and Charisa are racing, and I read their blogs.  Woop Woop!!!  "Shuh-ree-sah".  I should sound my name out like that.   "Pej-c-hl"   Ha ha ha  LOL   :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  for the rest of yuzzz.   :)  MWAH!!!   :))

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D 

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Do I Have To???

Was thinking of taking another day off blogging today.  I wanted to sleep in, but I was awake, so I guess I will blog.  I don't really have much today, but I guess I do have coffee, and that usually .leads to good blogs.  :)

So anyway yesterday was a complete fuck up, but perhaps blessing in disguise thing.  I have to fix my bike tire, and I haven't done that yet.  Well, actually have to get a new one as my rear is shredded.  My work bike (piece of shit) got stolen months ago, and I even have another bike now that has  a flat tire.  Yesterday was definitely a run to work day, but I woke up late.  So I figured I'd run home from work, and forgot my shorts.  So I figured I'd run when I get home, but I had to wait for Lisa.  I had to leave work at 12:30, because of some stupid ass rule or law about mandatory half hour breaks if you work 7.5 hours or longer.  I would have had to take lunch in other words or get in trouble.  So I went to a local bar, and had a couple beers while waiting to pick up Lisa.  I could have walked home I guess, but whatever whatever.  Oh yeah... blessing in disguise...  another rest day for my calf which I slightly injured on Sunday, so we'll call it a positive. 

WOAH!!!  I guess I really don't have much, but what the heck.  That gives you folks more time to do whatever the hell it is you do.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  MWAH!!!    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Nancy O'Toole just to piss you off.  :)   Ha ha   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D   forgot that last blog.   boooooooo.    :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

If You Read This At Least You Know We Are All Nuts.

You more so than me of course.  :)

OMG, I have absolutely nothing to write about at allllllz.  SHEESH.  Where will I even start???  First off my apologies I guess sorta yesterday.  Are you ever amazed at how much down time we have in our lives... "mentally" ??  What is your life about???

What if you died tomorrow??  What would people say about you??  I remember back a long time ago, and this would have been one of those 1990-1991 years when a lot was taking place.  I remembered having a vision of my life.  A look back.  I saw how I hurt some people, and mostly due to my imperfections.  Get rid of the childhood friends so I could be cool in High School.  I realize SHIT, I hurt people.  You never realize that shit either.  You have to face the truth about yourself.  You dislike some people.  Ya ain't definitely all filled with love all the time and stuff.  Some people just annoy the hell out of you.  I am that way.  I def. have my favs.  God knows I'd rather hang out with the sinners than the saints, and that is for a couple reasons.  One the sinners are real.  The saints ain't saints, they just try to play one on t.v.  T.V. being their life viewed from what they show people.  We all know none of us have any special avenue to perfection.  None of us are that.  In my view guys hide more than girls.  Not all, but some.

Like I said before... I think... working out makes you feel better about yourself.  I think it is a good thing to be active in that way, but it won't make you a better person in any way.  You still are going to hate people.  I don't give a shit who you are.  Fess up.  I think it is a good thing to look at ourselves in a real way.  The truth about ourself.  We aren't normal.  We all are fucked up in some kind of way, and we want to follow those who we perceive to be strong.  Look how many people followed Hitler.  Look how many fucked up people are willing to blow themselves up to make a point to show how much God loves you.  :)  Fucking weirdos the whole world is made up of.  If you were born in Germany say 1912, and you couldn't read the future, how would you shield Anne Frank from her outcome??   You are her Dad or Mom.  A lot of shit to worry about huh??

Guess what???  We have a gift.  We have a way through all the bullshit life has to offer.  You live your life, and do whatever the hell it is you do, but you keep your eyes open.  You are shown things every day, and it is part of the mirror.  It can be on t.v. or whatever the hell else you do, but be open to all that comes your way.  Why not??  I mean the world would be a much better place if people just used the mirror and judged themselves.  I don't condemn anyone although I might not like everyone every second of the day.  I tell you too, you judge me, and I may judge you back.  Why??  I am confident in my direction, and  I have been through too much. 

Truth of the matter is we all are filled with some good stuff, but also filled with hate.  Look at Amy Winehouse, she was fucked up as anyone, but she was real.  Who has courage to show their less than perfect side??  That is what takes guts.  It is there where you open yourself up to judgement, and it is there where I will not judge.  Show only good, and you are fake, and love lives in the light.  You try and hide all kinds of shit.  Some bitch ate an apple, and now you want to put on all these clothes to hide.  Have to take the shell off, that is the way.  We all have built a ton of walls to protect ourself, and the mirror is to help you  take the walls down. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  My Monday was pretty good.  I had a ton of energy, and stuff.  It was hot as hell though. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

BE REAL!!!   Fuckers!!!   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, August 1, 2011

Could Have Been Worse...

Well, when I was rushing thinking through books I read twice I came up with a short list.  "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich"  "It"  "Catch-22"  I forgot "Anne Frank" and "Catcher In The Rye"  Anne Frank inspired me a ton.  I think that is it.  I don't watch a ton of movies twice, and I don't read a ton of books twice.  For me to read a book twice it has to be good.  I'd say those were good. 



You know what??  I don't really have anything inspiring to say.  Maybe nothing nice either.  As a matter of fact, I may not even use my signature line.  Not feeling it today.  I said a while ago the hardest thing you have to do is be honest.  A lot of you suck at that.  It is a process.  At any point in time in your mind is a false vision of some sort or another.  So you are being shown things.  Spending hours upon hours of brain dead time is not what life is about.  TV.  mind numbing biking excursions.  Really??  Here is what I have to say, Anne Frank lived a full life, many people in an environment 50 times better live emptier lives. 

People strive for a bunch of stuff, and like Solomon said ya' ain't done nothing new under the sun.  Chances are you ain't splitting the atom either.  I am impressed with honesty more so than anything. 

That is why I love Doreen.  :)

That is why I love the xxxxxxx people  There are a lot of them.  Too  numerous to name. 

If you think you got all the right answers your probably wrong.  :)

Pride before the fall and all that ya know. 

til tomorrow probably.   :D   :D 

I am out!!!

p.s.  Had to cut my run short to 11 miles.  cramp, and/or slight pull.  Have to take a couple days off from running, so I will ride my bike to and from.