Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Some Days I am Just A Worthless Piece Of Shit!!

That was yesterday.  I think I knew it was going to be a day like that.  I woke up late, so I didn't run to work.  I still blogged, because I don't feel good if I don't.  Like I am supposed to do this.  I like doing my signature line just to prop people up.  I still sometimes feel small, and when I feel small I shrink into myself for strength, and sometimes lash out.  Who are you that you are so much better than me?  That type of shit. 

Kinda the you haven't walked in my shoes, you don't know what it is like to be me.  You don't know some days I feel like death is better than life, but I know it passes.  I haven't walked in your shoes, but I don't think they are easy shoes to fill.  Your life ain't no fucking picnic, and either is mine.  You know people deal with depression.  Internal rainy days, and that is something to endure.  It ain't no help, if I worked harder... nope not everyone can for varying reasons.  Little small steps to make improvements.  We expect people to win the lottery, and become better people, but it is small steps. 

In  our life we all have a bunch of bullshit that makes our life kinda of suck.  Look at it this way though.  Keep it positive.  Everything, and I mean everything can be used for good.  It can make you stronger, it can give you a better, clearer, truer perspective of what life is.  Right now you are at a bit of a disadvantage, because you trust only what you can do.  You have no idea all that is possible, but that is a process.  One I went through a long time ago. 

You'll find in the end nothing really matters, but truth and honesty, because that shit endures, and that shit is respected, because being strong is about being honest, and it ain't so fucking easy is it??  Even if you aren't the spiritual/religion type person you gotta respect honesty.  If you are that spiritual/religious type person than whose side is dishonesty on right?? 

You'll find it is not about being right.  Remember the start of the Journey???  What I wanted most, because I was scared??  Nope it was about being honest, and showing my stuff.  I showed a lot, and let you see me.  I woke up *almost* every morning, strong, but didn't mean I felt strong the whole day.  Felt scared, and shitty a lot, but I came back for more.  Now I had help that I know, and I could tell you some really whack and crazy shit, but I think I'll just leave that to myself if that is o.k.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Told you I was a complete ass face.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Beth Rose Mickel, cuz yesterday's post was not about her at all.  Some other horseshit going on.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She and John Miller are the leaders of the Steve R. thing, so should never worry about anything. 

I'd give some to Kelly Dunleavy, cuz I can relate to her a lot, but don't feel comfortable giving her xoxoxo, so I'll just mention her.  :)

I totally wanna give some to Jen Gray, cuz she gets it as well as anyone.  To throw your shit out there is not always easy, and when you do people need support.  I wrote in a comment that was unpublished that the race of life is not won without support.  She gets that as well as anyone.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Who would have thought girls would be the one to step in on that thing the most.  Go figure huh??  Who would have thought that men are the weaker sex in things pertaining to that?? 

Beverley Smith is a strong girl, and so is Doreen  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Let Your hair down and go wild on the good days folks, no reason not to.  Endure the internal rainy days.  Those are hard, and like Kelly said during her run.  Those shitty moments too shall pass.  :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,  especially to those who swore on my wall.  I love that shit.  :)  

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D ---just forgot it yesterday.  Didn't mean anything.  I was going to say something on Twitter, but didn't.  Like I said I am an assface.  :)   :D

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is one of my favorite posts. Nicely written & very real.