213

That is how many times I blogged this year. It used to be I'd approach 300, but that hasn't happened in a while.

Financially it's been a pretty good year. My Uncle died,  but his end was drawing near.  His death made my brother and I rich for us. I had absolutely no idea that would happen.

Anyway, we improved our house. A New roof, a new garage door,  and opener.  Built a new fence in back. I had a very successful garden.  Ate a lot of fresh beans, had a ton of tomatoes.  My canned tomatoes are great for lasagna, and spaghetti sauce. A lot of cucumbers, and zuchinni.

Next week my brother is going to cash out another part of our inheritance. I'll basically in one check get more than I make in the bakery working  2 years. That is hitting the ridiculous stage. That isn't even the big asset, and there is still a town house to sell.

I don't know what is in store for next year. I still am working 3 jobs. Not cuz I need to, but it is good for me in the strangeness that makes up me.

I will travel for a quick getaway,  just cuz. In the Spring we will have our house resided.  We will redo our driveway too. Outside of that we will just sock away money. As far as money goes you don't really need a ton. The simpler the life the better I feel. I guess I am lucky I really like to work. The anomaly that is me is I don't enjoy downtime as much as others for whatever reason.  In that way I suspect I will always be active.

Here is too another year. I figure I'll visit you again another 200 + times. I guess most of you may blog once or twice, if that.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   I have today and tomorrow off.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.    :)

xo.   ;)

Laterzzz Gaterzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxx.  Ooooooooooooo

I think that's right. 

Cya, and Happy New Year.

In Past Years...

Good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I know in past years this thing seemed to have a theme. I don't know if there is one really,  but I remember us going into the wilderness at some point.  I don't know if we still are there,  but I feel my heart is, cuz that is seemingly what I write about. The futility of life. It doesn't bug me in the least. I accept my little life I have. I accept the insignificance of me with a good heart. It doesn't matter. In life i have everything I want. It just do happens there isn't much I want.

Seeking out a purpose way back when, I guess the purpose was the truth. The truth is my life is insignificant. When I was taken back into the wilderness in heimleblog days, I gave up. I couldn't go back there. In a dream/vision my heart was taken that night, and that made all the difference. The truth also is without help I cannot do this. I am not strong enough to walk this walk.

There were rough days along this path,  but they are long gone. My path is easy now, because I've lived, and endured the invisible things I was supposed to. I had absolutely no clue what my days would look like back in like '90 or '91.  I just wanted something I guess. A purpose. I took the only path available for such a thing. It turns out the purpose isn't much either, but I am where I am now,  and this is pretty awesome.

To be secure in the direction you took in life. Having no questions,  no regrets, and being able to wake up as I do. To know every decision smart or dumb gets a green light saying go ahead. Knowing my imperfection is accepted, and mine not to worry about.

In the end I do have a little task about becoming perfect, and that is where Faith and righteous meet. An area where no one can go, unless they've been singled out for such a thing. Few get there,  cuz obedience is important. I've come a long way.  Decades to get to the point where I have only one thing to do.  The time between now and then is just a little life I am happy to live each day.

I still wait to suffer, but I have no concern over it. That which terrified me at the beginning of all this,  does not even concern me. With help I'll overcome the 3rd time, and the story of the current version of me will be done. How things look after that I have no clue. I patiently wait, but I also know the thing I must do will not be pleasant in the least. It will be horrible.  I cannot even imagine.  We will worry about that when the time comes.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have a good one.  :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.    :)

Laterzzz.   :)

Nothing Going On Here.

I was trying to think of a title, and I think the one I came up with is perfect. Nothing really going on here. Yesterday I did run the snow blower after work. I'll do the same today. I got a haircut too, since I was able to sneak out of work early.   I started season 2 of Deadwood,  and cooked dinner.

It will be below freezing cold for as far as the eye can see. I don't know what to make of it, except the New Year will not start out mild. Perhaps more than normal tv watching is in my future.

Outside of that not much on my mind. If I don't need to, I probably won't be leaving the house once I am in it. I'll do errands after work like usual, but once I am home I'll be home. I am not sure if that is any different than normal anyway. I think I tend to stay home anyway.

I am pretty glad my life is simple. You have no idea.  I am not sad about anything, I am not angry, I am not lonely. I typically wake up in a pretty good mood. I am not disillusioned in anyway about my life. I don't give a shit about nonsense like legacies and whatnot. That is just another thing that does not stand the test of time.   As the years pile up past our death the memory of us fades. In the end our life does not matter when stacked against time.

I know no one who lived in the 1200s, and I don't give a shit either. In the year 4067, my life means nothing.  Eat, drink, and be merry is our lot, if we have good vision to our life.  A person attached to the World probably doesn't have good vision. A lot of stuff to worry about. In the long term the stuff we worry about doesn't mean much. All our plans, bank accounts, debts, etc... do not follow us once we breathe our last.

So I'll continue to live accordingly. 

Gotta run.  I have to sit and do nothing for like 1-1/2 hours before I get ready for work. 

Have fun.   :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Baby It's Cold Outside

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday I finished binge watching the rest of season 1 of Deadwood. Our highs this week may hit the teens, so it will be a cold one. I am kinda looking forward to a week of binge watching tv. I can't say as I do it often, so what the heck.

Not too much on my mind, maybe nothing as usual. We may get some snow today, so I can run the snow blower again  I don't know if people think about the upcoming year at this time, I have no real thoughts on the issue. This year will be another year.

None of us are really doing anything that important. Our lives are not epic in the least. We are not so unique to somehow be considered special. I suspect we want to brand ourselves as special, but we are just one of the many people who find ourselves living here.

I can't imagine what goes through a person's mind, I just know it isn't perfect thoughts.  I know lives aren't perfect, and perfect happiness is out of reach.  A human heart will always chase after wind to find contentment.

We all kinda grow up lost in this place. Someone somewhere has the answers right?   Maybe those who wear nice clothes, or have nice houses.  The problem with me is I know what's in a human heart. I know there are things that trouble all.  You hide it, and hide from it, because you have no idea how to deal with it.

Couple that with our real self that isn't really special, and life can be hard. The truth is tough stuff to deal with I guess. Outside we take nice selfies of ourself, but what does it look like inside?

Anyhoo, just getting something down.

Laterzzz.   :)

xxoo.    :)

xoxo.    :)

That's A Wrap On Christmas

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing fine. I remember saying the shops in downtown Holland were dumb when trying to get my wife a gift.  There was one shop I found to be intriguing, but I didn't want to get a gift card to. I got a gift from that shop from Lisa. It's a shop that sells vinegar, and olive oil.  Different ones. Tell me that isn't creative.  Those happen to be 2 of my favorite things. I spent money this Christmas,  cuz I had some.

Anyway, yesterday was pretty good. I watched a lot of tv, took Hope for a walk,  used the snow blower on the driveway, and cooked a turkey.  Snowblower started on the first pull.  We had fun at the Christmas party.  I stayed up late watching a movie,  and am not tired today.  Yesterday was fun. I am excited for the New Year.  Not sure what will be in store.  Mostly work, eat, sleep I suspect.  I wouldn't want it any other way. 

I am kinda in the golden years of my life I guess.  Young enough to do whatever, and not tied down to anything. 

Not sure what I expected with the turn, but an easy life was the outcome, and for that I am grateful.  Everything stems from how I feel on the inside, and it is really good to be me. I surely wouldn't want to be who you are now, cuz I know how your heart is kinda. Not fulfilled.

Anyhoo,  today will be a day. Should be pretty good.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo. :)

xxoo.     :)

Bye.     :)

Day Off #2

I have another day off today. Yesterday we cleaned our basement, and got every single piece of laundry cleaned. Even sheets, and blankets, and curtains. Life sure is filled with accumulating bullshit. I finally have my tools organized too.  In that regard it was a pretty good day. I  watched football for the rest of the day.

Today, I make a turkey. Having dinner with Lisa's family, and some friends. Lisa's family is mostly dead, so basically her brother,  daughter, and Greg from Hawaii is the friend. Not sure if he is bringing his family or girlfriend.  It should be an okay time.

I go back to work tomorrow, and have Sunday, and Monday off next week too. I think anyway.  Sunday off for sure. I think we will do our basement next week. I have to run some gas line to install a vent free heater, and we need to do the walls and ceiling in the basement. It shouldn't be too hard.   Life is pretty fun once you start getting a bit organized. We are getting there slowly. It helps we have simple interests. I am officially a homebody. I am more than happy at home during any weather. 

So, today will be a day.  I am already on my wake up early schedule I will need tomorrow, so back to normal.  Other than that same ole. 

Have a good one. :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.  :)

Laterzzz.    :)

A Day Off

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. It's been a funny end of the year. First off, earlier I got a check for overpaying my escrow account. It was funny, because normally we'd be excited about a random $200-something check. This year we were whatever. Yesterday some random lady gave me a Christmas card with 2 $50 bills in it. I am probably the last person who needs it, but I laughed.  That is how our year went. I did my share I guess, I tipped the bartender the other night $60, on a $40 Bill.

It does make you wonder though. Isn't there too much money?  Buying big houses seems like a hassle. More rooms to clean. I know at some point this year, I'll just be stashing away money. My mortgage will be done,  and I'll just be bringing in cash. There isn't anything I really want to do. I am happy with my schedules. The only change I see is I may work some Sundays at the bakery, so perhaps I can't do the cleaning thing every week. We'll see though. I really have no idea why billionaires would want to be that.

I guess it's all vanity. I wouldn't want a ton of money.  There seems no point to it. Famous people still put their shoes on one at a time. They aren't Saints cuz they are famous. Flawed they are like anyone.

I know the truth of humans. Here a while, and we die. Perhaps many chase and dream about fortune,  but it doesn't lead to where you think.

Happiness and contentment come from inside. Out of our reach. A human's tale is one where they will forever chase after wind, unless they seek out a very different path than what they were born in.

Anyway, today I have a day. I may watch a movie now, and have coffee. Should be a good one.

Laterzzz.   :)

xxoo.    :)

xoxo.   :)

Bye.   :)

Christmas Shopping Ain't No Joke.

So, I went Christmas shopping yesterday. I thought I'd buy a few gift cards at the local shops downtown. I did the walk,  and all the stores seemed dumb. I didn't know what my wife would like. For me, I could get running shoes no problem, or a gift card at one of the bike stores. Other than that I don't know why anyone would shop downtown Holland. I got her one gift card at a nice clothing place called the outpost. More work to do.

I stopped for a couple beers at a place I frequented a lot before. New Holland Brewery.  They stopped making my favorite beer, I haven't been there in a few years, and I see no reason to go back anytime soon.

I was in a money spending mood, since I have more money than I need. I was going to take Lisa and Brian to the Southener to get some fried chicken.  Brian was with Greg at VI, so we went there to eat, and have drinks. It's always nice to go where the people know your name.  I had a couple Jamesons on the rocks, and Misty the bartender bought me a Maker's Mark on the rocks.  I gave her a good Christmas tip, and had a veggie pizza too.

I guess it was a fun day. Work was not horrible,  as the Patriarch did a ton of production.  My impossible day ended up not being bad. 

Today will be a day, and I am happy for it. Life should be fun, and mine is. At this stage life is a movie you are not excited to see, but it surprisingly is a pretty good movie.  Glad you did it kinda thing.  Think Slingblade. No one gives a shit about seeing it, but when you do you are glad you did it.

Life.   :)

Gotta go,  going to work early,  not really a challenge for me.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Bye.     :)

A Pretty Good Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am good. I had a pretty good day yesterday. Work went fine.  Busy of course, and today will be the same. I was able to bike to work,  and back. I took Hope for a walk, did a load of laundry, and cooked dinner.

Lisa had a dinner outing I forgot about, but Brian stopped by, and helped me eat the shrimp. I was busy got some shit done, and paid some bills too.

I also talked to my furnace guy to see about putting in my vent free heater downstairs. The picture shows hard piping all the way to the heater, which seems like impossible math to me. It is how they do water heaters. He told me to run a flex line. I wasn't sure if you should with a vent free heater,  but he said it's fine. I told him he talked himself out of extra work.

So a good day was had. Everything came up roses so to speak. I am going to drive to work today, and do some Christmas shopping. Basically get my wife something to unwrap. She's already had a good Christmas. A new for us truck, a new furnace, a new snow blower,  clean ducts, a new counter top, and a new furnace mount humidifier,  among other things.

We got a lot of money, and we spent it in ways to make our lives better, and help out others. We still have a lot of money,  and more coming soon. I already have run out of things to buy til the Spring.

So life goes on. It is easy living my life. Cuz my heart makes it so. I usually am in a pretty good mood,  and I like the start of my days. I enjoy the end of my days, and I like sleeping.  :)

Fun fun. 

Anyhoo, I gotta go. 

Til next time.  

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

A Day To Unwind.

So anyway I guess on all accounts last week was a pretty busy week. Mostly with working on the counters after work. We had snow, so I had to snow blow too. Last night I just took a night to relax. Eat dinner, listen to music, and have a couple cocktails.

Christmas is basically here, so we have a few more busy days ahead of us. I worked extra yesterday, and I think in your mind you want to get ahead, but in reality you are just staying afloat. After New Years everything will seem calm for a bit. Next year though holds a lot of questions,  and not many answers until we just live out the days.

Other than that not much going on. I look inside myself to see if there is anything I am stressing about, and there isn't anything. No major concerns or problems. I am not really anxious about anything. I guess all is good on that count.

There is nothing major going on in my life. As always just living out my days. I saw Star Wars the other day, and I liked it. I am not a movie critic in the least. I don't know a good movie from a bad one. If I am entertained I like the movie. On my grading grounds of being entertained Star Wars receives 4 stars.   :)  I don't have any other grounds to grade a movie on. I usually only see matinees too, and all movies are good in the early afternoon.

I don't always listen to music when at home, but lately if I am,  i listen to 90s Country. I think I am getting back to liking Country even though I've disliked it for a decade or so.

In summary,  I am not the brightest guy. I can't pick out academy award performances.  My taste for music can change on a dime. I no longer really have to be the cool kid. One of the things I think I noticed is people remember working with me.

I was never one to be quick with anger I don't think. There was a time when I thought this thing was important. Now it is just something I do.

If I could plan out my days I'd be more disciplined than I am perhaps,  but like I put earlier,  I am stressing over nothing. In that regard I am a success.  In life i am missing out on nothing, so I guess in that regard I am a success too. There is not much that concerns me about the future. More like nothing.

At this point in time life is just flat out easy. I guess I must have done something right huh? 

There is a story I guess, and in the end it doesn't mean much, even if it took several years to tell it.

It isn't over, but I labor none to get to the finish line. I wait, and what you do is no concern of mine. You have your own story, if you are willing to live it.

In the end few are willing. That turn isn't easy. For me life had to offer nothing for me to make it.  It is the World's greatest lie. To live happily ever after if I can just do this one thing or whatever.  

There is only one path that offers what I have. That is only gained by trust. I went blind, cuz I had no clue. You have me, and even that isn't much.

Pretty crazy.

Anyhoo, I am out. 

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Just A Day

I think that is pretty much what you call yesterday. Just a day. I worked my 8 hours. I listened to my book for 13.5 hours yesterday. It is a 20 hour book, and I got sucked into it. It is a book about a 30 year old murder in Mississippi. It seems like it is race related, but there is something else besides race, and we don't know what. There is a cover up, and involvement by a local D.A., and FBI all the way up to Hoover. Fiction of course,  but I am curious to see how it ends.

We have tickets to see Star Wars after work. I am not a huge Star Wars guy, but I watch all the movies. I just don't really go back and watch them again.

As it turns out the next two weeks I have Sunday,  and Monday off,  and 2 weeks after that I have Sunday off for a Saturday Christmas party. That is a lot of days off for me.

Not much planned today. I'll be able to bike to work, which will be nice. Last week we got a lot of snow,  and it may all be gone mid week. Warm temps,  and rain to start the week.

I really have nothing to write about, and I know my life is pretty boring. Maybe all ours are. A lot of questions about life,  and there are no answers really. Everyone picks up what they believe to be answers from various sources. Society, church, people,  published words,  and those are all dead ends. You assume those to be answers, and the most important question is what if everything is wrong?  Then what?  What do you cling to, if there isn't anything to cling to? 

You are naked of all understanding,  and you act confident when you shouldn't be. I know answers came to me pretty quick a couple decades ago. What I learned is no one knows anything. We are born trapped in our life,  and it is pretty impossible to get out. For a short while I thought I had the answers, but I didn't. I found the path I must take eventually,  but the timing was not up to me. If it was i would have done it long ago.

Nope,  mine is a waiting game, cuz whatever the story is it has to play out. We are born here with no answers. The World picks us up, and we assume we have the answers,  but the World is a false teacher as we all are at some point.

Our story is we lead others astray in some fashion,  unless we get out of that horrible end.

We all are guilty of that. It is what you really need to escape,  cuz that ending will not be pleasant. It is the truth, and that I told you will be the hardest thing you ever do.

I think we all grow up being arrogant in ways, but if you knew where you really stood,  you'd be scared. I saw my direction early on. I saw the ending I deserved. It took pretty good vision,  but you won't have access to that vision if you remain a student of the World.

Here I have poor vision. I know my story,  but you haven't even started yours as far as I can tell. You get no points for being a part of the World. My points came from different stuff, but I cannot really explain. What I write falls on deaf ears. Unless maybe what I write is sword'ish,  and maybe eventually it can penetrate your heart.

Not sure.

Anyhoo, I gotta run.

Cya later.    :)

xoxo.    :)

Turns Out This Guy Can Sleep.

I slept in a lot this week. At least the last two days. Slept  til like 5:30 yesterday, and 7:30 today.  I've been pretty busy all week,  so yesterday I just chilled. I have HBO now, so I started watching True Detective.

A guy I work with told me I should check it out. Today should be an easy day. I'll work a few hours, pick up something for a nice dinner, and chill out. Watch more tv I guess. Lisa went out to dinner with a friend. I have enough money I could have done whatever I wanted. I just wanted to stay home and chill. It's all I want to do today too. There is something unappealing to going out having drinks, and getting back in a cold car.

The Week on the whole wasn't bad. Next week will be pretty busy, but then Christmas is done. We approach the New Year, and approach my job being about a mile or so from my house.

I don't have any real big plans this upcoming year. Basically work, eat sleep. We are going to get our driveway done, and put new siding on our house. We will exchange out a couple windows too. Those are already purchased.

We will be busy,  but it will be worth it. Our house will have maximized value.  I don't plan on moving for 10 years or so. We will build a small house for our retirement. No basement, and comfortable. All things being equal of course. Something none of us can count on.

That is the ideas, and plans in my head. I still always have the final thing I must do planted in my heart. At some point I learned that everything is possible, but that power is in nobody's hands, until one is tested all the way through. It's been done before, but not in a long time to my knowledge.  That is the path I signed up for unknowingly. I surely didn't know the select company I was following. I just wanted a purpose. Even if I just became the best cleaner in the World. Having learned patience early, and attention to detail by Khien Pham, I thought I could work my way toward being the best at that craft. I had a lot to learn. My story mostly is about how not special I am. It's a good truth to know. Good for you too. 

Anyhoo, today I have a day planned.

Have a good one.  :)

Luv Ya's.   :)

xoxo.   :)

We Got Dumped On.

As Expected it's been a pretty busy week. All things considered it's been a smooth holiday season. I felt pretty good taking 10 minutes to blow the snow yesterday. My snow blower is ridiculous.  So glad I bought it. Starts up on the first pull every time. I don't even use the electric start.  Of course we got dumped on,  so I'll be doing it again after work.

The counter top was not as easy as hoped. We needed to lose a 1/2" on the back side.  Luckily my BIL has the best table saw money can buy. I have one, but his is the Cadillac version of table saws, and he lives 30 seconds away. Luckily he saw how to lose the 1/2" too.  I would have never been able to fix it.

Anyhoo, now I just need clips to tighten the sink down. It's been a 3 day project so far. I've been busy this week, but still have time to chill each day.

That really is about it. Nothing too crazy going on. This upcoming year should be a pretty good one I think. Work will be interesting. We will get our house finely tuned, and then we will just live out each day. Have a good meal,  chill out a bit, and start another day.

Who knew life could be so easy?  I never really pictured these kind of days. I always pictured good days eventually, but I think my mind was always focused on suffering first. That had to take place. Here I am though, living out my days,  and waking up each morning without a care in the World.

I don't really know how others are, but I know you don't have what I have. I have been years in the making. I took a different course. I was no longer interested in me or the World, so I went the only way I thought could be worth something.

It is too. I gave up basically a worthless coin,  and with help turned it into something way better.

My story is invisible though, except for words. Mostly words written in the early morning too. God knows I don't think or say anything important outside this area here.   :)

Anyhoo,  I guess that's good.

Have a good one.   :)

xoxo.   :)

A Little Cold Front.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I did not get my counter top, totally installed,  but the old one is out,  the sink, and faucet are out, and we have it on as a dry run. It won't be easy, cuz there are 2 mitres in a small kitchen. I will need help. First I'll make sure it is level, get everything ready, and then we'll worry about mitres. The sink cut out is perfect,  and the dry fit looks good. I may have to sand down a bit here and there to get it in. Maybe not too.

Other than that not too much. I didn't have time to get everything done I wanted at work. Just bars we ran out of, but I didn't think I'd get to them anyway.

We had leftovers for dinner. I guess a pretty easy day. I did laundry too, so everything is clean.  We were supposed to get snow overnight, but we got little. It will be cold, and I should check the weather. Yesterday I biked with the assumption I probably could not the next two days. Maybe though.

I think all things considered it isn't too bad having projects after work.  The trick is not to be tired after work. Yesterday I wasn't so that's good.

I crashed after dinner like usual, and today I am ready to start another day.   Everything seems so simple huh?  It really is. I am 51, and basically living out my years. Some days I do more than others,  but most days I at least work,  so I do stuff. For me that is important. For my well being.

Anyway, I pretty much have nothing. Just my boring day to day, but I enjoy it. I guess I just enjoy life. It helps I have little to worry about.

Anyway, I gotta run. I am going to hit publish too.   :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Catching Up On Sleep.

I had about as lame a Saturday night as one could get. Chicken Noodle soup for dinner, and watching movies. It was pretty great really, except I didn't sleep good. I went to bed I thought tired,  but just didn't fall asleep. I work at 5:00 AM on Sundays, so I needed to catch up on sleep last night. I did, so that's good.

As I was sitting pondering things, I am glad I work on the weekends. It isn't good for me to put in a lazy day I don't think. I watched football yesterday so it was lazy, but after working 8 hours. For me that is good.  Just a weird thing about me. I don't like vacations either. Maybe it isn't weird. Maybe it is better for us to do stuff,  to keep active.

Then again some people don't like work. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Today after work we are putting in a new counter top.  Lisa's experiment with wood flooring didn't really work. We couldn't seal the grooves,  so back to a traditional one. Our old one needed to be replaced anyway. She'll use the wood floor one for a table we'll use in the garage. Scrap the rest I guess. She didn't spend a lot of money on it.

So today will be a day. I feel I am starting out my Monday on a good note. I worked yesterday,  and I am not coming off what could be an unproductive weekend. Those are never good for me.

I do love sleep. I do like working, cuz no matter what my day will not be unproductive. These are good things for me.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Til next time.

Laterzzz.    :)

The Weekend.

Good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a good day as far as days go. Work was fine, I found my wallet,  which is always nice. Couldn't find it in the morning. We took Brian out to dinner at a restaurant near us. It is expensive,  but good. I had a nightcap, and listened to music. Lisa read.

I got a Christmas gift from a HS friend. Not even sure if we knew each other in HS, but we definitely have a past. I know a lot about her,  and her life, and she knows stuff about me. I remember her having a tough time several years ago. We were exchanging messages, and this might have been pre the wait times. Her life today looks different now.

Anyhoo, it was just a good day. Looks like we got enough snow too to use my snow blower.  Fun fun.   :)

Not a lot going on with me. Some things remain the same. Work, eat, sleep. Also this crazy way I wake up in a good mood every day. I have no sacrifices I need. I am not going 100 days of such and such to prove my worth in whatever area. That is what I mean about that. Just work,  eat, sleep, and let the chips fall where they may.

I think that is probably the best gift, and why I am in a good mood every day. My future is certain. I don't really know how the days will look, but I am in good hands,  and nothing can change that.

No one has any say or any power over that. As far as that goes you have no part to play in that. My route was solo,  and currently I am strong on my own.

It is really good to be me, and that is all from the gifts given to me,  cuz when life was set before me, I didn't see any good avenues in this dirty World, so the only option I saw was if there is a reason for me being here, let me do that instead.

It is the turn. You read this so you know. You cannot run away from what you know. Your heart will help you, although you won't be confident,  and most likely you'll be scared. Your coin given up for a better coin, although you don't know what it will look like.

You have me saying it is good,  and you may have to play the fool. I know I did, but that doesn't mean the same for you.

You are not the rich person with many coins. You are the poor old lady with only one. It's yours to play the right way. If you are willing. It basically is overcoming yourself, which in its own way is overcoming the World. As far as you can anyway.

Anyhoo,  have a good one. :)

Luv Ya's.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

A Wrinkle In Time.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. Ready to start another day. Yesterday we got our ducts cleaned. You probably should do that every couple years, and we've never done it. We've always had pets too. My snow blower got delivered too. Pretty exciting.

That pretty much is everything.  Besides us finishing up the downstairs we are done. Everything for downstairs is already purchased, but the flooring. I decided to pay off the car too. I can't make 4% interest so why pay it is what I thought.  I only owed $2000 anyway.

Currently, I have a house payment, and utilities. At least once I pay off current balance on credit cards. There are only 2, and I pay them off each month anyway. I sometimes use Discover for the cash back thingy. A built in discount. I used the Best Buy one for the laptop,  for the 5% cash back.

So, I guess it's been a good year financially. It started with us refinancing our house,  and getting a new roof,  and my Uncle left us a lot of money. We haven't even received the Lion's share yet. I know crazy. With that the house will be paid off,  and I'll still have more than what I just got left over.  Probably double what I just got a bit ago or so. Really ridiculous.

I know I tell you all my stuff. I can't help it. It's like a diary, except I let people read it if they are so inclined. It's probably boring though. Maybe that is why few people blog. This shit is too boring to read. Imagine someone like me publishing as much as I do.

I still do it though,  cuz I've done it for a long time. I wake up well before I have to go to work. I bet I've done this for 10 years now.

It started with running blogs, and shortly after that a death. That was a couple blogs ago. My life has changed some. New jobs. I am older. I still bike to work most days. I haven't run in a while,  and I may start that again.

I know when I first started blogging I figured the end of my story was sooner rather than later,  so I didn't have any long range plans. I still don't really. It is kinda like I have insider trading knowledge of the future.

I guess I always was just waiting for my final suffering that must take place. Everything kinda changed when the wait started up. Everything for good was the promise. I knew I wasn't perfect, and that was out of reach. I was accepted though,  and able to be used. For a purpose I guess, but my heart still remains meek in things, cuz this guy here shouldn't be anything but. I am not special. I am not some great person who was destined for greatness. When life pulled I listened. When I just wanted to be the best a person can be, I found out my impossible desire.

It turns out it isn't impossible,  but left to my own devices it is. I am not left to my own devices though. I have to carry forward with the plan for me. My heart is in good hands. I wouldn't have made it this far if my heart wasn't strengthened at the proper times.

So now everything is easy. 

Anyhoo, today will be a day. It will end in a meal.  Should be a good one. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

Some Days This Seems Silly.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Just living my silly little life. Yesterday I guess was okay. Nothing too crazy. It was cold and windy on my way home. My first wintry bike ride this year.

I took Hope for a walk when I got home,  and had to run to the bank. My stuff is getting close to done. Outside of stuff we will do ourselves there isn't much to do.

I don't really need much. We'll be hunkered down for the Winter so to speak. Next year promises to be exciting too, with work expanding, and all the questions that raises.

There really isn't a lot on my mind I don't think. I just do my day to day, and I feel I have a pretty good routine.

There isn't much important about my life.  If I look for any significance I see none. That I am cool with, cuz it is the truth of things. It doesn't make me sad, and as a matter of fact I accept this truth positively.

How others will receive it I don't know. I am different. So much of me is not who I would have been if I lived the same life as anyone.

I like living my simple life. I am not out to make a name for myself,  cuz it isn't a priority. Not much is  a priority I guess. Just continue to work, eat, sleep. If you found a simple way to live your life that keeps you mostly in a good mood it would be wise continuing to do that.

In the end my life was simple. I just had to learn a lot to get to this point. Suffer hidden terror too. Suffer on my own with no one to tell.

I think a funny thing of life is I know the dark hidden secrets. I think the scariest thing for all people is to let your sheet down. Your sheet covers all your flaws. The things you don't want people to see.

No one is perfect,  and no one nails life. That is important I think. I don't think anyone has time to think of that though.  I feel many times people want to count their so called feathers in their cap instead.

Life mostly is hard I think,  but it isn't for me now.  Hasn't been in a long time. I can't take credit for that though.  I received something right prior to overcoming the first time, and entering the hospital. It is the story of Jacob played over again kinda. I didnt really care about the blessing when I got it. I was in the wilderness for a long time at this point suffering every moment of every day.  I wanted security, and it seemed so far away.

Right now with that gift I received I have security. The story isn't over. I guess I thought others may eventually play a part,  but I cannot see that at all. As long as I've done this i don't really know what people do.

They got older,  and I suspect they have done as the multitudes.  Authored their own life to wherever that is. Things probably seemed exciting when they first started out.  It would be interesting to see how their heart thinks about stuff now.

I surely don't know. 

Anyway, I am out.

I am on the not drinking coffee thing again. No reason why, just not feeling it.

Cya.   :)

Starting Off The Week Right.

Monday came,  and Monday went. I think it went pretty good. I got a lot done at work, I have a new furnace mount humidifier in. My furnace guy actually did most of my heat  run thingy I wanted done. He has just a little bit more. I also bought a new snow blower. I went to a friend's business instead of a big box store. He'll deliver it, fill it with gas, and have it ready to run. I'll get one free tune  up next year too.

Wanna know what I was thinking about yesterday?  I will soon have an abundance of cash on hand, and nothing to do with it. You are supposed to make money with money, but where is that avenue? 

You make nothing in interest. The stock market is as high as it's ever been, and maybe too high. Everything is a risk, but cash isn't. The least risky anyway. I feel interest rates can only go up. I will be in a position of no debt, a lot of cash. Cash coming in with work,  and just utilities for bills . I can sack money away for 15 years all things being equal, with little to worry about.  Make a big nest egg.

If the economy tanks I'll have cash, and a house. Anyway that is the shit that goes through my mind. I guess what I am thinking is money is supposed to make money, but if you think Economically things can only go down,  then it will be good to have cash. So when I get money it will make very little for me in the short term, but I still work,  and my wife does too.

I cannot outsmart the World,  but I can outwait it.

So anyway, I started off the week productive. I did laundry,  and made lasagna for dinner too. It is the kind of day I want. I don't have much to do today,  but tomorrow my ducts get sucked clean.

So my life goes on. There isn't much exciting to it, just the little plans that run in our heads.

I have nothing really significant to write about. Today will be a day, and it is best to start with a good attitude. I am pretty lucky in that way. I wake up in a pretty good mood each day.

Okee dokee.

Cya.   :)

What Is One To Say

This weekend was just a little messy I guess you'd say. It started off normal enough. I worked on Saturday, I had time to take Hope for a walk before the movie. I got some good news in the inheritance. I wasn't sure the tax consequences,  but really you are only liable for any capital gains. John is transferring all assets to the estate, so that automatically moves our cost basis to the day of the  death. So basically minimal tax exposure. I had no idea.

So that just is ridiculous. Plans run through your mind, like what will you do?  We did go out and look at a property someone told Lisa about. It is 2 acres on a wooded lot. There is a driveway,  septic, and well already. Ready to build so to speak,  but we sure aren't. I looked at properties around here, and some have been on  the market for a while.

I am not sure if we are up for that sort of thing. I am new to that game, and pretty much know nothing. Not sure if I even want to do that stuff. It won't be soon.

My best course of action is work,  eat, sleep. We can take a look at that stuff further down the road. What you can know is I will shortly have my mortgage paid off. That is ~ $150,000 In assets.

This weekend was a mess though. I stayed up fucking around too late on Saturday. I made it to work at 5:00 AM. I wasn't tired,  but I'd rather get my regular sleep. After we checked out the property I took Hope. A dog got loose,  and came after us. The owners were really slow getting that stupid dog of theirs. Hope would have killed that little fucker. I would have let her too if that dog tried to bite Hope. I kept Hope on the chain, but I let Hope face that fucker to defend herself. The dog was smart enough to keep her distance. She was just loud and annoying. If I had my wits I would have yelled at the owners to get their fucking dog ffs. They were slow, and stupid about it.

So, anyway my adrenaline was up. I ended up not cooking dinner, and we just picked up KFC.

The weekend was kinda a mess. Today is Monday, so back to my normal routine. I have a lot to do this week, so here is to me being productive.

As of now I have no plans for the future.  Just work,  eat, sleep. Everything is much easier that way. It helps you not to have to read the tea leaves of how the future will play out.  I suspect that is a good source of stress in life.

Anyway, here is to getting back to my regular scheduled program. Keep life easy.

Later.    :)

A Saturday Matinee

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I stayed up late Thursday,  so slept in yesterday. Lisa needed a new tablet,  so we went tablet shopping.  We ended up getting a lap top instead.  It was on sale for $200 off or something like that. They were running a 5% cash back or 18 month 0% financing, so I took the 5% cash back.

I pretty much only use my phone. Not sure if I'll use it, but Lisa will for sure. Kinda amazing how handy phones are.

Other than that not much going on. Excited to get the humidifier put in, and also our air ducts sucked clean. It should be a good week. Everything is coming together I'd say. There were certain things we wanted to get done,  and that is happening. I still eat a banana every day. Try and eat more veggies,  and I take Hope almost every day after work. Today probably not, cuz I am going to a movie after work. Murder On The Orient Express. 

A pretty easy day planned. Not sure what to do for dinner. We made homemade pizza last night. I got my deep dish pizza down.  It was perfect.

Other than that not too much. One day after another,  I find life to be pretty easy. More of the way I feel inside I guess. Not a lot to worry about. I am free I guess. I owe no one anything. No one really has any say in who I am. I am me, and happy to be so. I have no idea how others are really. There definitely are things I have that others don't. Just this feeling inside. I pretty much wake up every day the same.

Life can be pretty busy I guess, but mine isn't. I guess that is why it is easy. I don't need to escape the stress of every day life, cuz I don't think I really have any.  To my knowledge anyway. I wish I did more stuff throughout the day I guess, but I am not losing sleep over anything.

Anyway,  just getting something down.

Have a good one.   :)

Cya.