On Any Given Day.

Sheesh, you never really know what to expect on any given day. I feel like I am changing a bit, but not really sure how. Who knows? 

I had a pretty uneventful weekend. Work, eat sleep really. Something different and minor happened at the grocery store. I worked extra, basically switch out two promos instead of the normal one. I was getting tired as I was getting close to done, so I took a break. I normally just get my stuff done and leave,  but I chugged a Pepsi. I don't really drink pop much at all, but I knew that carbonation and caffeine would perk me right up. It did.

Pickle season is almost over, and I have too many cucumbers. I have a good sized bowl of vinegary cucumbers, and like 7 not cut.  Squash and zucchini will still go for a bit, and tomatoes will explode soon. I are my first cherry tomatoe yesterday.

So anyway, as you can tell not much new to me, outside of me feeling a bit different. Maybe it's nothing,  but life is all about how you feel on the inside. I always feel pretty good, but now maybe even a bit better.

So, I will have a day today. The weather gets chilly at night, and I think the leaves will turn early because of it. I haven't checked the weather, but it's been pretty nice. High like 80, and lows like 60° 

Omg, this is a pretty dumb update. I should delete it, but sometimes I make you read these dumb ones for the fun of it.

Hee hee

Cya next time.

Since I Am On A Roll Of Sorts.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was okay as far as days go. Got my blood work back. Everything is normal, but my cholesterol is high. 3 things on their own mean pretty much nothing, but lumped together = no good. Blood pressure,  cholesterol,  and family history. We caught it at 50 though,  so we know it's there. You think about some hidden thing you don't really control can end your days like that.

Blood work shows liver function, thyroid, and all that,  and everything was normal. Once you hit 50, I guess that's good to know. I've been healthy feeling since forever,  and one thing I don't pay attention to is diet so much.  I don't eat fast food much. Typically we cook our meals, do it's not like we are eating a ton of processed foods. If I eat tacos or pizza, I load up on cheese. Don't even ask me about lasagna.  ;)

There are things I can do better. We always do a veggie, but maybe I can increase portions of that. Diet is something important, and I don't put much thought into it. Mostly, cuz I know I don't eat horribly. Also I weigh as low as I have for a couple decades.

Anyway, just something about me. Today I work, and tomorrow I can sleep in. I don't have much planned. I think we are going to cook out at Lisa's brothers house. Tomorrow I'll buy canning stuff.

Another Day in this dull life, but all things being equal I'd rather be alive. The days do end eventually,  I just want mine to end at a later date. I don't know the optimal time a person should die. Probably once it is hard to be active I would think.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Cya.  :)

xoxo.  :)

Gum Wrapper Smell In A Non-Stick Spray, And Other Can't Miss Ideas.

Good morning. How's it Going?  Me, I am doing okay. I survived yesterday. Going 21 hours with eating nothing but vinegary cucumbers is not as easy as I thought. I don't remember not eating ever being a big deal. Back in my younger years I had no problem eating one meal every 2 days to lose weight. After HS I found out I could gain weight easy, so I lost weight a lot in probably the stupidest way possible.

Anyway toward the end of work if I leaned down,  and got up,  I would feel light headed. It could be work is more strenuous than I think. We do stay busy. Also those with normal blood pressure have that happen more frequently than those with high blood pressure. I learned that the other day. Maybe a combination of the two. That is done though,  I have my colonoscopy coming up,  and then I am done with the doc barring sickness. If my past is any indication I do not get sick.  I never even get a headache. Even if I drink a lot for me,  I still never get a headache. Crazy huh? 

Anyway, that was about it for me. We made pizza last night. The dough we make at the bakery is so good. Best crust ever. I think it is the splash of honey we put in it that gives it the flavor.

I checked my garden yesterday. I picked 4 more cucumbers, and another round getting ready. I will soon be bombarded with yellow squash.  I picked 2 zuchinni at the perfect size. It doesn't take long for those to explode. Vegetables growing from the plant is kinda a crazy thing huh?  Zuchinni, and squash grow their satellite like leaves. It collects the sun,  and after a while this huge healthy plant has veggies come off it. With zuchinni too if you skip a day looking it may be 3 times the optimal size,  and you then are making zuchinni bread. I have marveled at my garden this year.

Today after work I don't have to go anywhere, but home. That's good. I wonder how my cholesterol will come out. I have no idea. I know it used to be high,  but I think I eat better now than when last checked. No clue though. I haven't been checked in forever.

I saw a picture of me from a few years back. I was carrying a couple extra pounds. It makes me wonder how I got down to my lowest weight in forever.  I haven't really been trying, it just happened. Maybe just being on my feet doing stuff every day. Also my appetite isn't as big as it once was. If I went out and ordered a burger, I probably wouldn't touch the fries. I may not even finish the burger. I wonder if that is an age thing. 

A lot of things to think about in life huh?  I wake up early a lot. Right now if you asked me what my optimal day would be, I am not sure. I think working,  and coming home to do whatever is about it. This is all I know, and it seems pretty good to me.

So today I basically got nothing. It happens.

Today will be a day. It shouldn't be horrible. Most days are pretty easy kinda. It's not hard living my life. Every day I could pretty much do more than I do after work,  but who cares. There will be a meal, and there will be sleep. The days really aren't worth keeping track of. They all fall from our memory.

Anyway, enough from me.

Til next time.

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.  :)

The Garden Variety Haberdashery

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I went to the doctor yesterday. He just wanted to check my blood pressure from the month before. My blood pressure has run high since forever,  but I came in at 136/88, so that ain't too bad. I am going to get my blood work done today. I was supposed to do it earlier, but I was sold on fasting the night, and doing it at 5:00 AM before work. I guess I don't like fucking around with my nights. My new plan is to eat dinner last night, and have my usual night. This morning I ate some cucumbers, and a cup of coffee. I can drink water all day, and do the blood after work. It occurs to me, I really don't need to eat anything at work. Big deal. The days don't matter,  but don't fuck with my nights. Of course when I get my prostrate checked, that night is fucked. A later date though. One more thing about blood work is who the fuck knows what it shows? I have no idea. I guess we'll find out.

Other than that I got a canning book from the liberry. Tomatoes will not kill me. I can make salsa, marinara, and tomatoes for chilli. Can them, and I have that stuff for a year. I may can some pickles too. I only have two plants, so not really wasting any.

That's that. My day in a nut shell. I think of stuff sometimes when I am awake in bed. My life was this major thing happening years back. A lot of stuff I held inside. It was locked in me. I couldn't tell my story if I wished. Those were the dead years, and eventually the lock was unlocked. My story came out,  and for me it was kinda a big deal. I got to know people a bit with this thing, and some got to know me. More than I imagine or fewer than I think. I have no clue. It is the nature of this beast.

Anyway these days none of it even matters. My story has been told to death. Nothing really matters. There really isn't anything significant anymore you know. The story of me is over, except one final thing. This World doesn't matter to me. The hidden stuff trumps all. I know the trump card. It isn't hidden from me. I know the forces unseen having experienced them. I kinda think it silly for me to tell you of these things, cuz you cannot know until you experience stuff. As you stand now I don't see it happening. Not that I would know, but as far as I can tell people are just a part of this World, and that story has been going on for millions of years. A lot of people found themselves walking this planet through no planning of their own. It is a thing to ponder the point of it all. We're here, and we die. The World keeps people tied down to Worldly things, but everyone has a different side to them. As you get older I imagine it is harder to get to,  and let's face it, people are getting old.

People seek wisdom in things said by people who die, or are dead. People seek out their own greatness I think,  but we are just here by chance kinda. Your 5 year plan didn't have your Mom and Dad screwing at the drive in 5-1/2 years before you were born.

So why are you here?  What's the purpose?  Don't tell me it is to make this World a better place cuz that ain't happening. People are too angry. They get attached to some propaganda and hold it for truth. So they teach blind people their blind beliefs. Everyone is a false teacher until they stumble upon the truth. At that point they probably stfu,  cuz we realize we've been hypocrites this whole time.

In a World of people I have nothing to learn,  besides maybe canning tomatoes. :)

Anyway, I am out.

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.  :)

I Am Up, so What The Heck

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am up so I thought I'd try this. I really didn't do much yesterday. I watered the garden. Still wondering about those tomatoes. Once they hit I am dead. I will have so many. My yellow zuchinni/squash things come at a normal pace. I cannot eat enough cucumbers. Green beans are nice,  on any given day you can get a lot, but you can eat a lot too in one meal.   I also played this stupid golf game on my phone. I didn't read or listen to my books, and I didn't watch tv. I dreamt a lot last night. Actually I have been dreaming a lot tbh. Nothing important or significant.

That is about it. Life is an endless string of days. Seemingly endless I guess. What can one do to make the most out of their life?   It's a good question. I guess I had that question in my younger years. Life pulled, and my mind saw nothing, but the wilderness. I was solo, recently graduated from College,  and the World was ahead of me. What To do? 

Having dealt with death, and my own shortcomings I figured I'd continue doing my hospital job I had while still in school. I would watch, wait, and maybe try to be the best a person can be. What I was supposed to do was get an entry level position somewhere, or grad school. I liked school, so that is what I leaned toward probably.

I guess what got me in the end was as a person trying to be the best I could be, I sure wasn't. At some point I met honest Lora, and I decided to follow the path of honesty. You'd be surprised how all of us lie often. Fake smiles,  and trying to always be in a good mood. I've told this story before, but I was talking to a pretty blond girl at work. Talking about girlfriends  and stuff. Instead of trying to impress her with my Saintly traits I told her I cheated on my ex.

That too is something.  A person who is supposed to be a good person shouldn't be thinking about sex with girls so much should they?  You can carry guilt in anything.

What I learned is we have no control over our thoughts and desires. Stupid shit pops in our heads for no apparent reason. A human is a bundle of weakness and imperfection,  but we package ourself as just the opposite. We are a mess, and the World turns us all into  liars.

So anyway in my struggles I found the hidden way. It was with much help, because it's been hidden for centuries, and I surely on my own am not anything. I can't imagine what kinda shit life I would have lived if I followed my own devices.

So I went through a great struggle. Suffering much, I made it through two trials. Things you cannot fathom, because you haven't experienced the hidden part of life. Those who do psychedelic drugs may get a glimpse of some stuff, and maybe not. It is a side of life you don't do control. You have no knowledge of it, and you don't understand the forces involved. My struggles were probably not unlike Job's tale.  The bet was won, cuz that was the plan. I will overcome 3 times, cuz that too is the plan.   I suspect I enter Hell as the antichrist. If my past is any indication. My 3rd time will be no joke. It's the real deal.

I guess I found out about life at a time when I could have gone in any direction. Sure there was the Worldly side of me that had great ideas of an excellent life,  but the quiet person in me that just wanted to be a good person won out. I walked in darkness,  but little known to me my path was lit by a hidden source.

The light currently is inside me too. Invisible to you, but I can feel it. It is what makes it easy being me. I guess I'll eventually give that up for a bit, and get even something better. The timing is not up to me though.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.

Til next time.

Cya.

What To Do With One Of These.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I just had another weekend, and I guess it was fine. Nothing major went on, which basically is how my life pretty much is. I worked, ate, and slept. Yesterday I watched movies after work. There really wasn't anything I wanted to do, so that's what I did.

How I feel on the inside I can't really say. Indifferent maybe. Life is not a big deal,  and I know it. My life is just a little thing of little significance. I have no bucket list,  cuz none of this stuff matters.

I know this of life, but no one else really does. I suspect everyone thinks their life is a BIG deal.  Life is about death, cuz everywhere you look that is what happens. For a while I will get a ton of tomatoes, but those plants will all be dead in a few months. All the bugs you see outside will disappear in a bit. The same can be said of people too. Most will live under 100 years. The lucky ones anyway. Those years will fly by. Once you hit 40 the years quicken their pace, and we race toward our graves.

We bought houses,  and cars, and clothes. Other stuff too. Things to decorate our houses, electronics and whatnot.

What did it all matter?  It doesn't. This life means nothing. People must feel that deep down. It is why we try to escape our own minds. Maybe we get sucked into a purpose via some type of propaganda. I am going to kill these people for the greater good.

I don't know what a good trait vs. A bad trait is, but anger probably isn't a good one, and I bet people are filled with anger at times for no apparent reason. It's just there. We search our hearts for the source,  and our minds come up with some B.S.  a lot of the stuff inside you comes from something you are not sure of. You don't know the source. I know the source of your conflict. You are two entities in one. One tries to keep you attached to the World. The other yearns for freedom. You have an internal battle some of you. Some are just way too overtaken, and the World is their master.  Some want a better life. They want to feel better about themself.

All the things you want are out of your power basically. Just being fulfilled, confident, and knowing you have the truth on your side is a good thing. Worth more than any money you can accumulate. I don't know how our minds get so deceived equating Worldly things as freedom.

Freedom is being without doubt. Carrying no blame, and no guilt. It is knowing the truth about you, and this World. It is being seen. Being accepted although you aren't perfect. Life is about so much stuff you don't even know possible.

Life is about something entirely different than who you are today. It is about something different than what you think now too.

Life is about death I guess. Coming to terms with it, and accepting it.

Anyway today will be another day. The only questions I really have are what will I do after work. I am not sure.

We'll see.

Cya next time.

X Off Another Day.

I just marked another x off on the calendar. That puts me one step closer to my goal. Oh wait, I don't have any goals. Shoot, but if I did...

Anyway, yesterday was a day. It was okay as far as days go. I got everything done at work I wanted besides one thing we were short on ingredients. It comes in today though. I made zuchinni bread when I got home. I fudged the recipe a bit, cuz I didn't have baking powder, but the flavor was good. It still rised a bit too. I underbaked it a bit, but it has good flavor. I added some pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon too to give it a bit of that flavor. I have stuff to do with extra zucchini besides grilling it. I can make muffins too. Wanna know something about that?  It is fun. Even the cat liked it, cuz there are a bunch of chunks off the top of it this morning.  :)

Anyhoo,  other than that not much going on. Lisa's brother took us out for dinner. We did bogo,  and Lisa had nachos. We had a couple beers. He closed on his house in Hawaii last week, so his life is settled down. He just wants to find a way to have his money make money. He wants to be retired at 44 or however old he is.

I don't have much on my plate today outside of work. I should clean the kitchen when I get home, water the garden. I'll probably listen to my book, and we'll have a meal.

I guess my life is uncomplicated. I don't look back at anything. There are no miscalculations I made. The grass doesn't look greener anywhere, except in my own life. I have no desire to be anyone else, but me.

I can look at anyone's life, and it doesn't matter who. I'd rather be me than you, cuz I've already done most of my stuff. Who I am today is not who I would be if I haven't done what I did.

A story started long ago, where in a way I am in another dead year area. We aren't doing much really, and the serious stuff that can pop up anytime isn't really here now.

We all wait kinda, but I am not sure for what. I assume people will be pulled from life, but I can't say for sure.

All I know is I have one final thing to do. It is what I wanted decades ago, although I know it won't  be pleasant.

Life goes on though,  and it would be interesting maybe to see it through your eyes, but maybe not too.

I know too much which is a problem. I know hearts deceive, and people do too. Everyone probably  thinks they are special in some way. Unique in a way that sets them apart.

We aren't though. One of the trillions who walked a short time in this place.  Not really doing anything,  but living day to day. Everyone at some point has been deceived at their own seeming importance is my guess.

We are all we know. Our minds don't really graduate past our human understanding, unless we go down a very unique path. The road less traveled as it were. The one we are not the author of.

I suspect some think they've gone down that path,  but nothing could be further from the truth. You are a product of this World, society,  upbringing, and you. You haven't graduated past the multitudes. You are a part of them.

Anyway, I guess that is it.

Today will be a day.

Cya.

Things Seem Different To Me.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had a pretty normal weekend. I was pretty unplugged which I find myself doing more and more. I actually got an email from FB saying a lot has happened since you last logged in. That never happened before,  so I still haven't logged in. I didn't log into the other one either this weekend.

No reason really, except I wasn't really interested in seeing anything. On Friday I binge watched a show on Netflix. Gypsy I think it was called. A Netflix original. One season 11 episodes. It is about a shrink who gets involved in her clients lives. Totally unethical, and her life starts getting tied up in lies.  It spirals out of control. I don't know if it was a good show or bad,  but I liked it. I finished listening to my 30 hour book finally.  The Goldfinch. I liked that. Got another book to listen to. I have to read my other one too. Started arrested development. Checked my garden yesterday and watered it. I have like a foot long zuchinni. Oops.  :)  it is wider than my arm. Our car got fixed too. Not sure what to do with it.

A pretty good weekend I guess. I stay entertained. I saw a movie yesterday too. Baby Driver with Kevin Spacey.

Why are things different now?  Remember how I say I get interested in less and less stuff. I am interested in real life I guess. You get that from books and movies. Maybe that is why I have zero interest in logging into social networking. You can pretty much guess what you'll see before you even look.

Life is pretty fucked up for all really. You don't control your heart so that thing can take you down any number of roads. You aren't perfect,  and either is anyone else you are acquainted with. Nothing you can do about it. Lives are busy. One day you wake up, and you realize a week has passed in a blur. Next thing you know you are 40. 50 comes next and so on.

Life is about loss and imperfection. Along the way people die, and you will too. Your end you will not escape. What I cannot tell about people is how they feel now. Life grinds on, and it is a pretty silly thing. We all our working toward the weekend and retirement I guess, but that is supposed to be the fun stuff I guess. I work weekends, cuz I don't really need a day off. I don't really like vacations either.

So what am I working toward?  Nothing. I am here for the day to day.  I don't like hanging out at beaches or anything. I like being at home. I am boring, and really we all are, cuz we aren't doing anything real exciting in life, cuz there isn't much exciting about it.

Anyway, this was a dumb entry.  I don't care though.

Cya.

A Moment Of Clarity.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Actually I feel pretty darn good. I am not sure why really.  Our white Chrysler has been sitting for a year,  and we are getting it fixed this weekend. When we took it to a garage 1-1/2 years ago they wanted over $1000 to fix it. Our mechanic is going to charge us $420. We knew we could get a deal fixing it, but we bought the new for us car from the widower,  and didn't really need it. We still don't need it, but we'll have it anyway. That way I can split between the car and truck where my 3000 miles of driving/year go. Actually not really sure what we are going to do. We may just sell it.

Other than that I totally am having a normal week. Perhaps a bit more productive outside of work than normal.

The house is clean,  and nothing terribly pressing that needs to get done. Sometimes I take a step outside myself and look in, and it is pretty good. I know I can be an asshole probably,  and cold. All of us are part asshole, but I carry confidence and assurance too.

I know more things than all too. Not e=mc2 shit, but hidden parts of life shit. I guess we all suspect we have the answers, but I actually do. You actually don't. I went out and found them/they actually got thrown in my face. In a time I anxiously seeked security I found there was no reason for me to feel secure. At a time when I just wanted to be good I found out there is nothing of value in me.

So anyway I ran the gauntlet of fear. I stared condemnation in the face and accepted it. Not with a strength of my own mind you. My whole route was successful not cause of me.  I was just a normal person who once was an insecure kid. I've been given gifts you cannot really measure in bank account statements. I've walked this Earth here and learned many things very few have. I mean seriously a minuscule percentage. Not cuz I am smart or anything, but it was part of my walk. To learn things. Given things most will never know til it's too late.

I don't have understanding yet, and that is something very few have ever received. I remember long ago before my days in the wilderness I tried being a teacher, when I thought everything was easy. I was full, and pretty sure I was the best a person can be. I was reproved at some point, cuz I was showing people they really were naked. We all are Adam in the long run, but like him all are ashamed of their nakedness.

I think it is safe to say now you are like the emperor with no clothes. You have nothing to show for your time here on Earth that stands up to scrutiny.

Society may give you a pass,  but life was always about just a little more. For the courageous who don't mind looking at it. Facing your fears so to speak.

In the end we wear no clothes cuz we ain't all that.

I kinda wonder if I even remember this next part. I always typed it out each day.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. what to do today after work...   hmmm

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's    xoxoxoxoxo

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

Laterzzz Gaterzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.    :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx ooooooooooo.  :)

I think that's it.  It's been a while. :)

Have fun.  

Fitting A Square Peg In A Round Hole.

Sometimes I think that is what life is like. The Day by day goes so fast, and I am pretty sure no one ever gets all the things done.

I was thinking about just a few years ago where I was working 3rd shift, and every weekend. Now I work 1st shift and every weekend. That fits me much better.

Before getting up I was thinking about what I put in here. It probably seems depressing,  and I guess it is. Lives mean nothing. There are no points for you walking this Earth. There are no points for your day to day stuff you do. Sacrifices are of no value. Basically you are here accomplishing nothing of value, although I doubt you accept that.

I have gathered points in my journey, and none of it was my plan. None of it was in my 5 and 10 year plans, cuz I was completely blind where points were concerned.

Even now I know my story. I know some of the things that must happen,  but as to how and when I have no clue.

So we are here in the wilderness. You are saddled with nothing of value, cuz this place is desolate. All the things you ever believed in have been thrown to the side,  cuz you weren't born right in this place. Life is a thing  you would have been better off not doing. Only problem is you are, and it wasn't your choice. Some even brought more people here, cuz that is what people do.

In following the masses you assumed all this shit was right. If you ask the question what if everything is wrong? You have to be prepared to accept the answer.

Remember years ago I told you the hardest thing you ever do will be the truth. The truth is a nasty sort of business. It goes against the grain of all life and all teaching.

Few reach the truth. I did kinda accidentally sort of.  It wasn't my plan. I was led on the direction I went. Life pulled. I felt a bit of the wilderness,  cuz life looked stupid.

Metaphorically I told you years ago you have to drink the kool aid,  cuz you have to lose your life to find it.

It is a hard thing to tell people these things, cuz they dont really accept it. Only problem is though you have no other route available of any worth. How will you impress people with any activity in the wilderness? 

Here we collect no points,  and those who cling to things not true, well...   who has time for them?  Surely not me. I have way too many more unimportant things to do.

I'll cya. 

:)   lol.  Welcome to my blog.  Sorry,  not sorry.     :)

Laterzzz. 

I'd rather read my book.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I worked, and pretty much just listened to my book during and after work.

We had our party on Friday. It was fun, but I am pretty sure we'll never have one again. Too much work,  and too much clean up. Not that I really did much, but it seems like a lot of effort. 

For some silly reason I was doing shots with one of Lisa's work mates. Silly. Pretty fun though. I got about as hungover as I get, which is basically a little tired. I slept almost all the way til I had to go to work. We had a ton of beer left over. Still do. I gave a case to Lisa's friend.

Life goes on I guess. Not much major going on with me. Trying to get through my books I guess, and watering my stuff. Life is pretty busy really. It seems there are more things to get done than time to do it. My life is easy too. I sometimes wonder of people with kids, and how much they must mess up every day of their lives.

Social functions to attend, work,  cleaning,  Bill paying,  whatever. Life seems like an avenue of complete failure,  which we wrap in a nice clean sheet, and show the World we are blameless   say the right things, wear the right clothes.

These days I don't really look at much.  There isn't much to see, and I tend to think people are afraid to show their most honest self.

People judge so who can stand up to It?  After our party I kept thinking of how all these people shared in just a bit of my life.  Kinda random and stuff, but we all still live separate lives.

The perfect life, and the perfect life situation is out of grasp. Our hearts always yearn, until you can realize and accept the truth. You are here for a while, and then you will pass. As far as I am concerned the days are filled with work, eat, sleep,  but that is what my heart is content with,  cuz when I pass none of it even mattered in the long run.

Anyway I am going to read my book.

I'll cya later.

I Ate Beans From The Garden.

So one of my bean plants had like a billion beans on it, so I made green beans to go with my tacos last night. Lisa had to do a million errands yesterday, so I figured tacos. I was sorta planning on getting blood work done today,  then I sorta planned not to. Didn't feel like not eating past 5:00 last night so I'll do it Tuesday.

Eventually I am going to have to juice or can tomatoes,  because I will have more than even I can eat. First I have to learn how to do it.

On any given day I can have too much I wanna get done. Cut grass, clean kitchen, trim grass, water grass, water garden, read my two books,  listen to my other etc...

I love my down time too. Where I don't do shit. Then I ate a meal. I also worked 8 hours.

I went to bed at a normal time, and woke up early. I like waking up early. It gives me down time,  and I can walk Hope. After this week, I kept thinking things will get to normal, but I have too much stuff I want to do, and a lot of lazy I like to be. Lisa has had a busy week, so she will want to rest from her week off. Her daughter is getting married, and we are having a little party at our house. So she's been busy. Luckily I tractor watered our front yard this year, so it has never looked better. I like to look at it.

Other than that things are pretty normal. I work,  eat, sleep. I have a meal at the end of my day.

I had a couple days off this week, and I pretty much would rather work. That is my normal. That is my balance I guess. You do what makes you feel the best.

I think I have been that way forever. As long as I am working I feel mostly pretty good. I never was truly excited after a weekend off, it was only after returning to work I would feel better. In my younger years I think doing nothing made me not feel so great. Guilty I think.

Just a weird thing about me. Maybe if you read this thing you've known that about me for a while.

Anyway, in your quest to find out the truth of life,  do you wonder why your heart is never content?  Every day we probably lose a battle with ourself,  and maybe the gray clouds pop up on a bright sunny day.

At the end of the day you want your heart to always be happy, but you are really not sure how to go about it.

I am going to take Hope now and listen to my book.

Thank you for taking time to read this update about nothing.  :)

So glad I could make it long for you.  :)

Later.  :)

No Clue About A Title.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I slept in today. I did wake up at 3:00 AM, but was able to fall asleep for another 4 hours. This is my 2nd day off in 3 days. I wasn't totally stoked about the first one, but today is good.

It is Summertime now. A great time of year. We don't have horrible humidity.

There is nothing major going on with me as is the case most of the time. I go for my colonoscopy in Sept. Can't wait.  ;)  j/k.

My cucumbers are coming in. My tomato plants are great. A couple already have little tomatoes starting. Squash will be coming pretty quick. Beans too.

Other than that just doing day to day. Nothing too exciting, and nothing too crazy.

Life is kinda a crazy thing. We don't master it, and we don't beat it. Death eventually overtakes us all.

Somehow I imagine we all want to be special. Unique. Something about us that singles us out from others. I learned my truth long ago, and unfortunately everyone else's too. We are so not special. We are nothing significant,  although we think we are. We think our life is. If we were one of the people who got bombed in Dresden we'd be remembered as much as them. People would think about you as much as you think of them. Life is random. It is a dangerous place this World,  but really death wins no matter what.

Life is filled with time. From day of birth til death, and most important decisions are based on that final thing. You don't escape the end line.

It us up to you to make the wisest decisions based on your certain death. You may not be able to see the finish line, cuz if life hasn't beaten you down my guess is you cannot and will not overcome yourself. If that is the case you are wasting your time coming here. Conversely you are a waste of my time too, cuz I am doing what I do. Not what I asked,  and not what I mapped out.

In the wilderness no one is special either so there is that too.

Anyway. Today will be a day. Going to a cook out at Hawaii Brian's,  and tomorriw we start the work thing again.

Til next time. Not sure when that will be, because it feels like this blog is running out of things to say.

You never know though.

Cya. 

Starting Another Day.

I've been sleeping in a lot so imagine my surprise on my day to sleep in I am up by 3:00. I putzed for a bit. I went to the Dr. for the first time in forever. My blood pressure is high, which I knew. It's run high since forever. With both my brothers history though he thought it significant. I'll get blood work done later next week.

I did weigh 162 lbs. I was surprised. My running PR weight is 167. I am 5 lbs under that. I don't run. I've been planning on getting new running shoes,  but we had to put some money in the vehicles so I can hold off. My knees won't be into any major running anyway. If I could; which maybe I can, I bet I could be fast for me. I was shocked at the weight though. Did not expect it. I haven't stepped on a scale in a year or two.

My brother John just had successful quadruple bypass surgery so he gets a new start on life. Time for his 2nd life. That could mean any number of changes.

I feel good to have a doctor now, and be a part of the health thing. It is a shame many cannot afford to be involved in their health, because the powers that be don't think it a priority. The systems the "smart" people have come up with are pretty shitty. I am not a fan of Health insurance at all. No way that is the best way to go.

Healthy people end up getting screwed. Pay a lot of money for nothing. Anyway, genetically I probably have a bad ticker. Like Jim Fixx was it?  The running guy who died of a major heart attack?  You can't run away from your genetics.

I am at a good weight. I don't smoke. I drink, but never to the point of getting a headache or being hungover. I could probably eat less cheese, at that stage though is life even worth living?  I keed    ;)

So I work a bit today,  and have all of tomorrow off. I work on Monday and have all of Tuesday off. My Dad is like 80, and still healthy, and my real mom is still alive and healthy. No cancer I know of runs anywhere so I use that too.

I am having a colonoscopy scheduled,  cuz I am at that age. That's about it. I am like 33 years graduated from HS, and I weigh 12 lbs more. I think that is crazy. I once was 217 though many years ago.

Today will be a day. There will be work and a meal,  and barring rain, some watering.

Til next time.

Adios.