Thursday, April 27, 2017

This Kid Is Alive.

Good morning. I am doing okay. I don't know why the last two days I've been waking up, and the previous week I was sleeping in.

I am alive. My insides are charged. How I feel on the inside is different than you. You I don't know. I don't know what life feels like to someone like you. On the flip side you don't know me. You have no idea how it feels to be me.

There is a great divide between you and I. There are so many important things in life,  except there aren't. The time we spend doing stuff is valuable,  except it isn't. The sacrifices we make are very valuable,  except they aren't.

Life is a time filled story that trillions have done. All end up 6' under. How is it we place so much importance in our life, which obviously isn't important?   A look at the numbers tells us the truth.

So we go on and on showing everyone how important we are, and our great deeds, but it is just life. We get thrown into this World. As kids we cry at the stupidest shit for hours on end. Across the street yesterday the neighbor lady had a kid yelling and crying mommy mommy mommy mommy. Who the fuck wants to deal with that?  

How is that loud mother fucker  going to miraculously turn perfect once he stops masturbating  47 times each day after HS?  It won't happen before HS ends that's for sure.

Life is ugly,  and all of us are flawed. Unable to be perfect. As a matter of fact we don't even know what perfect is. You may have some weird idea to it, but you really have no clue. Me either really. I know it is different than what I am now.

Maybe that is where you and I differ. I know where I stand as far as these things go.

Anyway, another blog. This is kinda boring to do I think.



Wednesday, April 26, 2017

I Think It Has Been A Week.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I've been sleeping in a lot so no blog. I liked it too. Secretly I wanted to always sleep in and never blog again, but I am up.

Not much been going on. Kinda decided to work on the house this year. No running or anything. I still bike to work most days, and that will mostly be the extent of what I do. Things pile up. Yard work, grass, garden, organize, clean. We have a lot we can do. Last night I spent an hour or two planting grass, and edging. On nice days I'd like to follow that plan,  and maybe read my books on rainy days, or do shit inside.

Our big plans huh?  I am sure I'll fuck that up often,  but in theory it sounds good. As easy as life can be it still is pretty fucking busy.

Really not much else going on. Living a simple boring life,  and I think the more boring the better. My life is pretty dumb, and you'd be a fool to want to read about it, just as I am a fool to write about it.

This thing is/was about so much more though,  but you and I are different. I am a piece of shit imperfect person telling you my truth, and also kinda being a mirror to your truth. I didn't know everyone was a Saint though,  so what a waste of time.

No biggie though cuz time I have. Also in the wilderness I don't give a fuck.


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Trailers For Sale Or Rent.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am fine. Yesterday was pretty busy. I had more to do at work than usual for a Monday, but I got out on time. We tried finishing our pickets replacement,  but it doesn't line up. It is Hope proof right now,  but we will have to adjust ~20 of them this weekend. I wanted it to be done. Oh well.

Our roof guy came over,  and we paid him off. In the end we are $6000 poorer, but we will never have to deal with that roof again. We bought good 30 year shingles,  and it looks good. We also got all our old ruined pickets in the roof dumpster. Lisa can take the not horrible ones and donate it to her work. As Spring is upon us we already got a lot done.

Not sure what I will do today after work. It will be nice out so I'll probably sit outside. Probably do tacos for dinner. I have a lot of things on my mind I guess. A lot of things I want to get done. Busy busy I guess you'd say, but I still have plenty of time to just relax. Every day still ends with dinner you know?  

Who really knows how people think. I feel I am pretty far removed. Did you do enough?  Did you sleep too much?  Did you worry too much?  Did the burdens of life drag you down?  

I suspect people seek out the perfect balance to life. The balance comes from your heart though, and that we don't really control. We can make rockets and stuff, and blow people up. Stay busy doing things in this World,  but we cannot control our heart.

Weird huh?  We seek out ways in the World to make our mark, and we never really question why our hearts fail us.

Anyway. A lot of questions to life,  and perhaps the right questions never get asked.

Why am I not better?

Guess that's it. Gonna take Hope this morning,  and hopefully have time to do the dishes.

Cya.  :)


Monday, April 17, 2017

In The End It Was A Pretty Lazy Day.

We did do some cleaning,  and laundry,  cooked a ham and stuff, but my first day off in 4 months was a pretty lazy one. Why not right?  I think that will be the case on future days off. Good to be lazy once in a while.

Like I said before though I am done with work early afternoon all days, so I still have all my days. I gotta check the weather today, cuz I was thinking there might be rain. Other than that today will be pretty normal. Nothing huge planned.

Nothing really on my mind right now. I did think of something earlier. A way I am different than you. I am this imperfect entity. I know it, and I know my personal route to perfection.  It iswhat I set out to do long ago, but the timing isn't up to me. Anyway I am not afraid of imperfection. I was during the journey, but I am accepted now. Secure in who I am. Even when I was scared I still was open. Have been since things started up during the running blog days, but fear is long gone.

There is a story being played out and I am powerless to make this story happen, although I will play a part.

How this all ties in to the end days I am not sure. Let him who hath understanding, and that is what I am after. That which is trapped in me gets let loose, and who knows?

I asked for the mirror several years ago, and the mirror is for people to look at them self. A mirror turned brings hate and anger, and I wondered if the whole World has the mirror and uses it incorrectly than the World is pretty ugly.

I don't know these things though. If people are mad I don't see it, cuz I am not mad.

I just do this life thing, and my story will be played out. I have no worries of that. When I spent my time in the wilderness I knew what was at stake. I knew the end I was desperate to escape. Fear was my crutch, cuz I knew too much to be secure. By knowing too much I knew where I stood.

In a World of Saints I knew I wasn't one. I also knew the World wasn't full of Saints. Maybe that is where we see things different.


Gotta go.

Cya.   :)

Xoxo.  :)

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Something Different

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. I got a good night sleep,  and I have all of today off. It is weird waking up in the middle of the night, and realize you don't have to worry how many hours til you gotta be at work. It's been a while.

Today I don't have any real big plans. Do some cleaning,  finish the last 50 pickets of our back fence. Nothing too crazy. I'll just be doing it not after working 8 hours.

Oh my gosh that is pretty much all that is on my mind. Yesterday got up to 77° according to my phone. It felt good to be in that weather again. It feels good we got a shit ton done with our house so far this year. New kitchen, sink, faucet, garage door,  opener,  roof,  fence. I have some windows to replace, and the house needs to be painted still, but that is all doable. We have to finish up our basement still, but that can be this Fall.

One can never read the future, but all things being equal we would sell our house in 5-10 years and live in a tiny house. A big house doesn't really fit our lifestyle. It is just more space. Space we don't need.  Of course things never really stay equal, and this World is probably on a crash course.

Are people still mad at stuff?   Do wars still happen?   Are people still killing each other?   That seems pretty silly and dumb. I cannot fathom that. I think everything is pretty wrong in this World, and I don't see a way to fix it. People are the ones who need to be fixed,  but people are all right and correct in their eyes.

I think everyone thinks they question stuff, but maybe they don't. If you still believe in Country and flags and stuff you haven't questioned anything. In the end you have to question it all. That means everything must be thrown away. That includes religion,  and the opposite of that.

It is a hard thing asked of you, because in these steps you learn fear, and doubt, and what it is like to be alone in the World. People have to help themselves first before they can help others. In doing that you'll realize there is very little you can do,  but with help the sky is the limit.

Then I guess you realize on our own we sure aren't worth much.


I guess that's good.

Have a good one.   :)


Friday, April 14, 2017

The Tacos Put Me In A Food Coma.

That was my day yesterday pretty much. Buzz around work for 9 hours getting as much stuff done as I could,  ride my bike to the library to get book #2, start book, eat tacos, crash. The Tacos hit the spot though. Perfect call for dinner.

There you have a day. Seems silly I blog so often cuz really what is going to happen to me in one day?  Not much. Today is Friday. Tomorrow I get to sleep in, work a few hours, and have all of Sunday off. Not sure what I'll do, but I'll have a day off.

I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting yesterday. I just had a day. I didn't seek out trying to change the World. Of course I never do.

I guess the most significant thing I saw was a picture on Twitter. It is someone I follow,  but I don't know. It was the day she got her leg blown off while in Afghanistan or something. I don't know her like I said. I followed her, cuz for some reason her stuff popped up in my feed.

She got like a bronze medal at the paralympics in triathlon,  but I guess I was more interested in seeing her face after her leg was blown off. It wasn't negative,  and it wasn't bitter. It may have been a drug induced high,  but from what I can tell she doesn't seem bitter or angry today either. I did think of that.

I am not gonna put her up for Sainthood,  cuz no one belongs on that pedestal,  but I like her demeanor I guess.

So then you start thinking here is someone I sorta know, but don't know. How many other people in cyberland are acquaintances like that. A lot,  but really not many I guess.

Who knows?   Who cares? 

Today I'll have a day. It won't be much different from many others. I have no idea what to do for dinner.

Gonna be a wild one today.   :)

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

XOXO. :)

Thursday, April 13, 2017

A Talisman For A Reindeer Is Always Gluten Free.

I read that on the Internet somewhere, and it mildly shocked me. I never knew that.

Anyway How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. Nothing too crazy. I finished my book I started, so now I gotta go back to the library today to get book 2 in the series.

Our shingles got delivered so our roof will be done soon. Not exactly sure when their planning to do it. We'll have a couple nice days,  and then rain. Pretty excited though. Our roof will look good. We are kinda the black sheep on the block now with our ugly roof.

So there, that is the extent of my day. I made an easy meal, and tonight we will do tacos.

Simple pimple really. Crossing off day after day. Eventually we all reach the finish line. No one escapes that part. Not really sure if a lot of thought goes into it for people. Here for a bit. We do some stuff,  and exit. None of what we do makes any difference.

We have fun days, and we have hard days. We toil for paychecks and what not. In the end you don't end up perfect. Everyone else is the same as you. If your a parent your kid won't end up perfect either. It doesn't matter how much you labor, perfection is out of your power.

Does that matter?  I say it is important, but I am the only one. Everyone else lives in the land of "good enough".  That is the land people really need to graduate out of,   and I guess there only is one way. Hearts aren't able on their own to graduate out of this land, and people's vision cannot see beyond it.

So we really we just run in place,  cuz nothing of value is done in chutes and ladders land.

Anyway, I think I'll finish my coffee,  and take Hope.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

XOXO. :)

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

A Cold Day = A Different Outcome.

Hello and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday wasn't horrible as far as days go I guess. I rode my bike to work. Somehow it got a flat, although I changed the tube a little over a week ago. It rained all last week so I didn't bike hardly. There is a bike shop across the street from work, so I took it there. I wanted them to check and make sure there wasn't anything in the tire. I checked last time, and didn't see anything. Sure enough they found a little piece of metal. Also they fixed a couple other things too. It was a smooth ride home.

Authors these days are writing series of books. For no reason at all I Googled a popular writer and started her series of a girl down on her luck turned bounty hunter. Evanovich is the author and Plum is the main character. It is an easy read and book #1 is going down good. There are like 20 in the series. I know 1 and 2, and many others are at the library.

So I read when I got home. Kinna can't wait to get back to the book either.

Had a little meal before bed, and that was the extent of my day. Glad my bike is in good shape. I may buy another in a couple weeks. Nothing expensive,  and more like a commute bike. I do all my business at the shop across from the bakery,  even before I worked there. I'll get it from there. Not looking for anything extravagant. Century rides are not my thing, so I'd like to keep the price close to $300 or so. It doesn't need to be high tech, and I am thinking more mountain bike frame with more commute type tires.

Other than that not much. Getting ready for another day. My life is not quite as exciting as a bounty hunter, but one does what one can. 

Stupid update I know.  :)

Stupid life too.   :)


Have a good one.  :)

Luv Ya's.   :)

XOXO.    :)

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

This Feels Normal

Good morning all. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I am up, awake,  and this is more like it. Last week I slept in a lot for some reason.

Anyway I repeat myself a lot probably. I probably say a lot of shit here I may say elsewhere. Anyway we got our fence up. Replaced a lot of pickets. Actually we bought our final 50 last night. Our back fence will be done this week.

As some of you know I work 3 jobs. Not really cuz I need the money, but cuz I want to. I don't get many days off. This Sunday I'll get a day off cuz of Easter. It will be my first day off since Jan. 1. No big plans or anything, but it will be nice to have a day off. Ftr with my jobs I still am always out by 1 or 2 in the afteenoon, so I still get all my days. That is a good thing.

Other than that not much going on. Just doing this life thing. Day after day. I pretty much keep it simple,  cuz that is how my life is. Simple.

I am not out to change a World that won't change. I place no allegiance to flag,  or Country or anything. In a World where we want something to matter I am content knowing the truth. Nothing matters. Our time here is insignificant. Your labors to somehow make a difference end up in failure. You don't.

It is a sad existence, unless your heart is happy and content with the truth. That is one of my gifts. I am cool with this little life here.

I am cool with my day to day. I am realistic about the importance of my day to day. I am cool with the truth.

So, I guess today I'll have another day. It will involve work, eat, sleep, as seemingly all others do. Fine by me.   :)

Have a good one.  Xoxo.  :)

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Well, That Was Strange.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. I haven't blogged in a while cuz I slept in every day. Even if I woke up at a blogging time wide awake, I fell back asleep. Strange.

Even today I slept in again, but I don't work til later. Yesterday I did finish getting all my poles in for the fence. The final 3 were not as easy as the first 6, but they aree in. We'll put the panels on Sunday. Then our yard will be enclosed again, but not with a wobbly fence. It will look a lot better too. We'll eventually replace all the pickets one panel at a time. Maybe one panel each week.  ~15 pickets.

This Spring is different. I actually want to get stuff done. This week was cold rain every day so I didn't get shit done. Today it is supposed to be nice so I'll get the little amount of leaves we have out to the road.

So today I have a little work,  and I'll make a nice meal. Tomorrow I'll work,  and finish our fence. I bet our roof gets done this week too. Also we have a new garage door,  and opener installed.

Slowly we are getting our shit done we wanted. So now I'll finish my coffee and take Hope.

Maybe it is a good thing I didn't blog this week hardly,  cuz today was just day to day BS

Oh well. 


Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Life Moves On...

I could tell you I had a crazy weekend, but I didn't. Outside of work we did a lot of work on our fence. We are doing the back fence. It is the most important. Our right side is fine. It's our neighbors. The left side we'll do next year probably. Our other neighbors have a fence already. Our fence that came with the house had posts that were not cemented. We put in new ones and cemented them. We also our raising the height maybe 1-1/2'. 

So really the weekend was normal in all areas, except we worked on the fence. I also stayed up later,  and slept later. It is supposed to rain all week so we probably won't finish it til this weekend.

Other than that time moves on. Another day here and another day there. I don't really know what people do or what people think.  These days I probably don't care. In a World  where most place importance in things that aren't does it even matter what people think? 

In a World of lives unimportant people try to show and prove the opposite is true. Who has time to pay attention to that?  

I have to work,  eat, and sleep. I am alive so I try to have fun doing it. I think I am mostly successful. I don't have any secrets,  except a heart that knows and accepts the truth. I guess until you reach that point you will always be lacking something.

Anyways, as usual just getting something down. I did pick the men's NCAA winner this year.

Cya.  :)

Saturday, April 1, 2017

If I Could Draw It Up.

I'd draw out my Friday as it went. Work went smooth. We finished off a pretty easy week. We had a stretch where the weeks were challenging,  and out of the blue a pretty easy week.

After work I went out to the local lumberyard I used to work at to pick up the supplies I needed. Also I like to go there so I can forget a few supplies I intended to get. Why make one trip when 2 is way more efficient?   I saw a couple people I used to work with. I didn't say hi, cuz I didn't want to. Also I realized I didn't even remember their names.

Anyway I did that. Unloaded the truck. Had some time so I went out for a couple beers. Ran into Hawaii Greg so I hung out for a couple hours. I came home, Lisa brought home dinner, and I went to bed early. I now am up early, and that is how I like it. That's how I'd  draw up a perfect day.

Other than that not much going on. We have a fence to put up when I get home from work. I have plenty of time to take Hope. Plenty of time for 2 cups of coffee too I bet.

Funny thing about life is we figure something has to mean something right?  The fuck we doing here?

You'll find everyone has ideas as to the perfect life or whatever,  but no one is living the perfect life. You haven't nailed life by any stretch.

The truth doesn't stop at that seems good. The truth is absolute. No one's thoughts are perfect. Yours sure aren't. Mine either. I am accepted though. I don't stand as a righteous person. I stand as a faithful person. The truth took me here. The story doesn't stop,  because perfection is the end game. Understanding.

Everything else is just life. The thing that means nothing,  contrary to what you think. In a life that really comes down to getting points you are shut out. The other team is way stronger than you.

If it weren't for me you would have no clue. I came with the truth,  and no one wants to deal with that.

Where the truth is ABSOLUTE, where do you think you stand? 

In life we all are actors. It's all we can do, cuz we just ain't that great. Contrary to what you think.


I am out.

Later.  :)