Thursday, January 31, 2013

Rushing...

Hello all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   I am rushing it a bit today, because I slept til 3:00.  2:00 is my perfect time to get up, but that doesn't always happen.  It really wouldn't be a big deal, but I want to run to work, so that is really why I need to rush.  It looks nasty out there too.  Snow is back. 

Anyway, not a lot on my mind.  You know how I am I think...   It seems to me blogs should go a certain way at times you know??  I like to get to know people.  Knowing a little bit about the life thing there is a lot that makes us who we are.  So much stuff in life happens we cannot plan for, YET here we are.  We are in this great big World.  Why are we here???   What is life??  We are born, and do the kid stuff for a bit.  Survive puberty and what not.  Puberty is hard enough as it is, trust me I have been through it.  Imagine the complications if you are gay.  So we do this hard stuff, and now what?? 

We know our ending.  So we are born, and do whatever our parents and society try to tell us to do.  What is our life supposed to be about anyway?? 

The History of the World is a History of people's miserable lives.  Most books sugar coat that part, but a real look shows you that. 

Why us???   Why here???   Why now??? 

Questions that can be answered??  



That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I sometimes think things are going to make this huge interesting turn, and people all but disappear.  Strange...

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Decisions Decisions...

Morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I guess I am so so.  I know you are thinking I am going to have all this very important crap to discuss.  Well let me tell you...

First off I have clothes at work, so I can run to work.  Lisa closes tonight, and works at 2:30. 

I can:

  1. run to work, and bike home.  (put bike in truck)  -- original plan
  2. bike to work and back.  (don't want to do that, cuz I need to buy a new lock
  3. drive to work and back, and take Hope for a little 3 mile run, before work. 

3 wins it, although not my original plan.  Why??  Well it is raining, was part of my reasoning, and I guess I can take Hope.  Also clothes are still there so can run tomorrow to work.

See all the confusing, and hard decisions I have to make day after day??   ;)

So that is the major thing of my day all sorted, besides what I make for dinner.  That one is quite the challenge.  I have no good ideas on that yet.  I'll probably let you know sometime though.  

Anyhoodle, I guess that is it.  WOWSERS!!  

Fingers crossed on the run too, because I feel better now than I have in a while.   Wouldn't that be nice to be pain free again.

I'll keep you updated.... I think,  unless all my days are going to be filled with these tough decisions, because then I would have to blog about those.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I have a project I am going to work on at work, which = kick ass day.   :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D   

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Ooopsie.

Morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good.  I woke up, and thought it was 12:30, and took a look at my phone after a bit, and saw it was 3:30.  oops...

You know what that means??  No time for coffee today.  I am a changed person with coffee.  I don't think it does anything for me.  I am up now with the same amount of energy as if I had a cup.  So the change. 

A lot about me is just given me, and I cannot explain.  I think people battle themselves over I should be like this, or I should be like that.  Like the best person we can be is if we ate the right stuff all the time.  Worked out all the time, etc...  

The best we can be is something we cannot make ourselves.  That is what I have been saying, but who can understand that??  Who doesn't want to go out and give it their best shot??    How can you make yourself a more caring person??  By faking your way through it??  It doesn't work does it? 

I know it is hard to understand what I have to say, because who has walked my path??  Who has even come close???  No one.  I laid out steps.  Steps I know nothing about, but all this stuff is given me.  Patience is given me.  Steadfastness is given me, because I keep doing it.  Diligence is given me, because well???  

The best person I can make myself is not what you see here.  The best person I can be, is what is done for me.  I know the best I can be.  I know I am not there yet.  I know the path I must take, and the steps that must be taken.  Known it for a while. 

So here I am to help. 

 I think many of you lack a bit of courage, and I get it.  Life is scary when so many people are out there judging.  With a shell off, sometimes all you have is trust, and to be honest, many times I didn't even have that.  Some days all I had was fear. 

This isn't the same ole same ole anymore.  I will need more from you.  That I can tell. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  It is raining pretty good, and supposed to get up to 57.  I think all the snow will be gone.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All  are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Monday, January 28, 2013

When Monday Is Good...

Morning all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  I woke up in a worse mood than I am in right now.  Go figure.  I do have coffee done though, so I am going to get it.  I will brb. 

So anyway, besides my super human few hours of housework on Saturday morning, I was pretty lazy the whole weekend.  I did take Hope for a walk on Sunday, and later also walked to the local grocery store and back, but really just watched a lot of movies, and some t.v.  Lisa worked from like 9-4:00 on Sunday, so not really much to do. 

So as to my title that is when a Monday is good.  When I get to get back to work, and get in a routine.  Remember how I am on staycations.  I hate them.  After about 2 days off I am through.  I turn into a lazy person, because really there isn't much to do.  You cannot read a day away really, and you cannot watch a movie a day away really.  You run out of things to do. 

Also Lisa worked yesterday, and she closes tonight, so the normal Sunday/Monday thing is all out of whack.  She is off Tuesday though, so I will plan a good meal for Tuesday.  I am thinking of just making myself Chicago style hotdogs for myself tonight.  You know with the works.  Onions, tomatoes, sport peppers, pickles, mustard, celery salt.  You know the works.  I thought of that yesterday.  Sometimes that stuff is good.  At least for me. 

Hey you know what??  It is early.  I have time to take the Hopester for a walk.  Now that is a good start to a Monday.  I have pretty much decided to run to work here and there for my running, until my leg thingy gets totally healed. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Now I am totally in a good mood.   :)   I think I might want some wine tonight. 


Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Sleeping In...

WOWSERS!!   I fell asleep a little after 8:00 last night, and stayed in bed til 6:30 AM.  I woke up around 2:00, and was awake for like an hour, but that is a lot of sleep for me.  It feels pretty good too.  

So anyway my life is quite a bit different I'd say.  I was supposed to go to a party last night, and I was kind of dreading it, because it started at 8:00 PM.  That switches up my Saturday a lot, and I was up early Saturday, and did a bunch of crap around the house, and I kept thinking I am going to be tired.  Then I thought why stress about it.  Deep down I do not want to go out at 8:00 PM at night in the Winter when it is dark when I normally am tired.  I made a decision.  I will do what I want, and not go.  Load off. 

Lisa told me I am horrible, but when 8:00 PM rolled around I asked her you want to go out now??   She said no.  I am pretty lame huh??  

But hey life is made up of all kindsa things.  I got a lot done yesterday like I said, and then it was like 11:00 AM.  So I watched movies.  There really isn't a lot to do.

Today I don't really have a lot to do either.  Lisa works at 9:00, so maybe I will go see a movie, and pick up something for dinner.

There really isn't a lot to life is there??  Seems crazy people hold onto so much hate and anger.  Life is too short for that huh??  The best Societies could muster is what we see around the World.  Ain't that great is it??  We are here to search out a higher truth, and find a way to a higher learning then what men and women have handed down generation to generation, with  their own set of biases, and motivations.

The World is a pretty ugly place.  Seems Life is such a way that people are destined to be at some form of miserable.  Expectations vs. Reality do that to people.

Some hard things, but I am here to tell you there is a Happy Ending.  All you could ever want you will get, although to be honest you don't even know you want yet what you want.

It should be interesting though huh??

We shall see.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  time for me to finish my coffee, and maybe play a game of chess.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Hi Ho... HI Ho

Good Morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay I guess.  Not in the best mood this morning, but not in the worst.  I have a lot of shit to do around the house today. 

As to running, I keep myself at a every other day type thing.  Whatever is bugging me still bugs me, so I don't want to run anything long, and I don't want to run on consecutive days.  I think I can sustain that.  Who the Hell knows what is wrong.  Heck it can be a chronic thing for all I know, so whatever...

My life has always been more about that type of stuff anyway.  So yeah, no running goals in the condition I am in right now. 

Really not much else going on. 

Later...   :)

Friday, January 25, 2013

Let There Be Bike...

Good morning all.  Fancy meeting you here.  My coffee is done.  I just watched the highlight of the Kane to Hossa Victory in Overtime goal.  Hawks are 4-0.  Imma get my coffee now. 

Okay, I have my coffee.  One of the great things about my life, and my job, is the proximity of where I live to where I work.  It is close enough to commute to work, but also far enough that to get there it takes exercise if I don't drive.  So on this day, even though there is snow, I say Let there be bike.  My choice of how I get to work today. 

Anyway, you know my life.  Not much going on.  Absolutely no goals for me.  I don't need to do this and I don't need to do that.  I like seeing life.  I like seeing the different days, and I like seeing the different things people do. 

Life is so hard, and I forget to realize it.  You forget the hang ups of people.   I should be like this, and I should do that.  I always admire people who can laugh, and be open with their own imperfections.  A lot of times what we do on the weekends stays on the weekends huh?   Many times people will just show this one side of themselves.  Not the weekend side, but some crap shit they want you to think things are like.  That shit pisses me off.  I don't see a ton of that stuff, but sometimes, and I am like what???  

Honesty is a total trust thing.  Throw out all the crap information in your head, and believe honesty is best.  Why is that hard??  Because jobs careers and stuff.  Don't our resumes and lives have to look a certain way to be accepted by society?? 

In our minds yes, but the path to being open and honest works.  There is a higher power that sees to it.  Truth and honesty is on one side of the game, and all that is lies and fake is the other side.

Truth wins out.  It is a higher power than the other crap that weighs us down. 

So put on your big girl/boy pants and be who you are.  It ain't a feeling of strength.  On something like that sometimes you just have to trust. 

So much stuff weighs us down.  Just think of all the things you don't want society to know about you.  The World is a horrible place huh??  To be honest is to be judged pretty much huh?? 

So yeah,  everyone needs help to overcome the World.  Cannot do it on our own.  No way.  You need the strength that only one possesses. 

How lucky I am to live the life I lived huh??   It was a long hard road.  I got to this point here though huh??   Everything was done for me too. 

I just cannot explain to you how I am.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  It is Friday.  I get to work.  I am up early, and I do this thing.  Sounds like a good day to me.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Hmmm... This Seems Like A Good Time To Shovel The Driveway...

Good Morning all.  How's it going?   Me, I am doing pretty good. My coffee is done, so I am going to get some.  I will brb...

Okay, I have my coffee, with vanilla caramel creamer.  Yum Yum. 

I don't have much to write about today.  I never do, but I'll see what comes up.  I keep thinking how crazy this blog kinda is, and how crazy I seem... to a normal person. 

I am up early.  I write stuff down.  I know a lot of how my future will turn out, and I do nothing toward making me who I will eventually turn into.  This all started long ago.  I knew what I wanted, and I had it.  Then it was gone, and I was to search for it.  The answer to my question of how I could be taken so far away was given me, but it didn't make me feel any better.  I knew I did right though, when I was told to go solo, and search.  That was the beginning of my dreadful Summer.  I found what I seeked, but still I tried to make it happen on my own.  Then the Hospital, and the physical depression.  The energy came back, and I was able to live a life of my own.  A couple things I was not able to do, one being go back to school for an advanced degree.  Why, I have no idea, but eventually I found a job, and worked my way up.  I became frustrated, and started working my way back down.   Just kidding, I just stepped down, because I thought there should be more to life. 

Then I did some stuff.  I struggled through some life things, like financial stuff, and things like that.  One of the good things about my marriage is when life stresses us out, we don't take it out on each other.  The marriage thing has always been pretty easy for us.  It isn't a fairy tale marriage where you might think I tell Lisa she is pretty every day and stuff like that.  It is more made up of humor, I'd say.  When I went shopping the other day, I did buy the juice things she likes without her asking, and it surprised her.  She said, "Even you have your moments"   Life is about little things. 

We don't do Birthdays and Christmas gifts too much, because Life happens every day.  We fail at Society, and I have come to realize who cares?? 

Society is FUCKED UP!!

Too many rules, too much fine print. 

So my life has boiled down to work, and whatever the Heck I want to do.  I do this too.  It is for you I do this, because well, I am all done.  Everything is done, but my final thing.  My final thing will take place whenever you people are ready.  What that entails I have no idea.  The author of the story is the one who knows these things, and that is where my trust is. 

My journey is one where trust was built up.  Strength was built up, and I have been given everything I needed along the way to overcome The World, and Life, and everything else. 

It is a story made.  One where I am not the author, and one where I had no idea what the Heck my 5, and 10 year plans were, because like I said someone else held those cards. 

My life was hard.  I had many struggles, and suffered much.  I am who I am though.  I have been made a better person than I could have made myself, and I am not even the person I am going to be yet. 

Strange???  You betcha. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I think it is going to be a snowy run to work.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I Slept Late...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I slept late today, so I have to rush this a bit, and wing it.  Like I don't do that every day anyway.

I, as always, have nothing to write about.

Sometimes the truth comes out of me unfiltered, and it probably is ball-busting to people, but I really intend it as nothing.  I spit out whatever is on my mind.  I mean, yeah sometimes I get pissed, and you'll know it, but sometimes Truth/Shit just comes out.

I am kinda lucky that way I guess.  The truth doesn't manipulate.  It doesn't show you what I want you to see, it just comes out, like I said unfiltered.  You may think that is some kind of great quality in me, but it is so very much all the help I have, and very little of just me.

I mean if you would have known me way back when, I was a smiler.  I was a I have to be a nice person to everyone type of person.  With a good set of eyes, and life pulling me in a certain way, I met people like Lora, and I was like hmmmm.   That Bitch is honest.  I like that.  If there is one good thing in the World honesty has to be it right??  Everything you look at is a double edged sword.  On one hand it can be looked at good, and the  other perhaps bad right.  Truth is straight.  It is the point of the sword where there is no side to it.  The other part of the sword only one has the knowledge to the balance of good vs. bad.  Justice.   That is the information we cannot attain on our own.  We can get it as a gift, but that is the end of my Journey.

The greatest "GIFT" is love, and as my life goes on I know why.  You can do so much with it, even if you are just your normal self most times.

This Blog,  Early Mornings.  LOL

Who would have thought I would amount to this here??

Not me.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   Blackhawks 3-0   WOOOOO!!!

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'ALL are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Do I Have To??

Blog that is.  Well, I am today, and I have absolutely nothing to blog about, as is usually the case.  I did make some coffee.  It is probably freezing outside.  Plenty of snow, and probably not plowed.  So what do I want to do??  I want to kind of walk fast/shuffle to work today.  It isn't good for running, but I can do a quick shuffle.  I love doing this Shit in the morning.  This is my time.  After work.  Not so much.  Sometimes when I am at work, around 10:00 AM I think at work.  Oh, man when I get home, I am going to do this and that and this and that...   Then by 1:00 I am like... hmmmm..... wine or Brandy??    ;)

Okay I am going to get my coffee.  I will brb...


Okay so coffee is in hand.  I may go with two cups today.  We'll see.  I let the dumb cat out, and it actually appears I will be able to run to work today.  I am sure I am slow, so it will still be like a shuffle. 

So this year is definitely different.  One of the things is definitely my comment rate is way down.  What does that mean??  Not really sure, but maybe this thing here was always a little bit more important than the comments I may have made on blogs here and there. 

Why are comments such a big deal??  I don't know.  I always thought people liked them.  It gives people a feeling someone actually took the time to read the blog.  Something I have been very good at in the past.  Reading blogs, and taking the time to say something stupid, or even offer support if the person was going through a hard time. 

I don't know what any of it means??   One thing I think is maybe we need a little bit more out of people.  Share a little bit more of the things you don't want to share, and a little less of the things you want us to see. 

Life is about being yourself right??  Just think of being a politician how fake you have to be.   Smiling at fat women, and shaking hands with dumb men, and smiling at ugly babies.  I mean really let's get real you know?? 

There really is nothing you can do to make you the person you want to be.  A tough and very hard lesson.  So we go on this little journey.  We go through time and space to deal with a lot of stuff.  Most of the stuff is just truth and honesty, and us finding out about the truth of things.  I am here to tell you it all is pretty dumb. 

So keep strong.  Trust.  When I went through my bad Summer I had no trust.  Just a piece of hope here and there.  Why??  who knows.   Many times during Heimleblog I'd have bad days.  I would have to leave work too, because of the sad music.  A lot of bad days, but I always woke up strong.   These days the bad days are very few.  The music isn't sad for me anymore.  I wake up, and in my heart it is to do this.  It must help you in some way, or why else would I do it??  

How this story goes from here I don't know.  Your place in it I don't know.  It is a Journey.  It goes through time and space, so we'll see. 

Try and throw away the shit that doesn't matter.  Laugh at yourself.  Be your imperfect self.  We got this, but in a way where we are not really all that fabulous. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I got nothing for a p.s.  Bulls won last night.  Anyone surprised at how much the Lakers suck this year??  Kobe, Nash, Howard, Gasol???   and they suck???   crazy...

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Monday, January 21, 2013

It is a Minor Miracle.

Well, it is a miracle that I am actually up to blog.  Not really, but I actually stayed up late to watch the 2nd football game.  So that means I will be tired today at work.  Normally I might have some cocktails while watching football, but wasn't feeling it yesterday.  Maybe today will be wine Monday, maybe not too.  We'll see after work.  I did buy a lot of stuff yesterday to make some good meals though, so there will be a good dinner. 

I got stuff for lasagna, stir fry, spaghetti, steak, and even some other stuff.  Don't ever go shopping hungry.  I spent like $120, and no alcohol??!!   WTF??   I bought things I might not normally buy.  I bought ramen noodles, because it looked good at the store.  I bought Velveeta, because I thought a grilled cheese would go good with ramen noodles.  I then saw sausage links, and that seemed like that might go good with my breakfast too.  HA HA  

I got home, and had some sausage links and scrambled eggs.  Now when the Hell am I going to eat these ramen noodle??  I never eat those.  Oh well. 

Other than that not much going on.  I think I might try running to work tomorrow, and see if I can get running again. 

So anyway, I know this blog gets weird at times.  I don't really understand the way people react to it.  That has always seemed strange to me.  It is a blog that helps support.  It doesn't do everything I want it too.  Obviously I'd like to do more, but I figure everyone has their own things to figure out in life.  We have a past that is filled with mistakes probably.  Things we probably don't want to show people.  I have showed a lot of my life, and it definitely wasn't perfect.  You know what too, no one is really strong enough to show people how horrible'ish we really are.  Who wants to show that stuff??   No one. 

At least we are all in that together.  My thing is the real us isn't perfect, and we strive to be better versions of ourself... probably, and fail... daily?? 

Those who show the less than perfect us have courage, and isn't that stuff great to see?? 

How little of us do we really show???    Very little huh??

Okay gotta run.  Have a good day all.  :)


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Nuthin About Nuthin...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good.  I hazz coffee done, and I am going to get it.  So you know the routine.  Hold on, be patient,  I have a lot of important things to say today.   ;)

Not really.  I don't have much today at all.  I am up.  Holy cow it is 7:30 almost.  I did play a couple games of break the bricks with my phone before this.  It is cold outside.  Probably get some snow, so I am going to go grocery shopping after this.

I have absolutely nothing to say today at all.

I had a good day yesterday.  Got a lot of shit done, and watched some good Sports on the teee veeeee.

I feel I am getting healthy too, so I will be able to start running pretty soon.

yay.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  probably see if there are any movies out today.  More Sports on the vee of teee too.  Should read my book though also.   So much to do so much to do.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for all :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Up Late Sleep Late....

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I should probably go make some coffee.  Sit tight, and hold on.  I will brb...

Every once in a while it seems I add just a bit more and more freedom to me.  Having a blog that very few people read does that.  Your write to no one, and you just put some stuff down. 

Everything I do is pretty free.  I really only look at the stuff that comes before me.  I am not particularly interested in those who are not interested in me.  Why should I be?? 

I have my little life, and I have some friends.  It is the Winter so I don't even particularly want to leave the house at night.  Why go out in the cold to do anything not much different than what you do in the house you know?? 

My life isn't spectacular.  I don't mind. 

I have a little blog that lets people know what I am up to, and what is on my mind. 

For those so inclined to read.  I realize it is a big deal if one take the time to read blogs,  because lately I haven't been all that interested in what others have been doing. 

Maybe because I know what life is about, and others are still searching.  The search will lead you to a place you cannot imagine. 

A place where nothing we do is important.  It all is pretty dumb'ish, but that is okay.  It doesn't need to be this grand thing for people to be content.  Solomon foresaw everything, but not sure how his heart felt about it.  He seemed sad, but there are miracles that lead you with a pretty good heart.  Something one cannot achieve on their own. 

Anyhoodle, I have a lot of glam planned for today.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  Now my coffee is done.    :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Kim G.   Why???  respect.  She is an honest girl.  I know her husband, I used to work with him.  We even did fantasy football, and he did my football pool too way back in the day.   I can not give people a lot, but I can do this.  :)     xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Friday, January 18, 2013

And Then It Was Friday...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am going to get my cup of coffee since it is done, and I will be right back.  

Boy I don't know what kind of blog this is.  It really isn't just a "running" blog is it??  or a fitness blog or anything like that.  I try and stay sorta fit, and when I can run I do usually, but I don't run through injury, if it is a nerve thingy.  As to the running front it appears I will be able to start running again.  Coming back from injury I need to be smart.  Get fit running 2 and 3 milers.  Hopefully next week, because I do see improvement. 

My lack of running the last couple weeks switches my goals around for the year.  When I get back there will be no goals at all.  Just start running, and see if I can get in some kind of shape.  Then go from there. 

Anyway this year is definitely different.  Last year was the year of trust, and I'd say we still aren't there are we??  Everyone kinda went their own way, and everybody is all over the place.  We hazzzz all been scattered.  Each going on doing our own unique thing... whatever that is. 

Whose job is it to get everyone on the right path??  Surely it ain't mine.  What do I know??  Every life is different, and every life is a unique journey, and yours is unique to you and you alone.  If this blog is anything it totally is a wait and see blog. 

I am not really sure if I am all that interested in all the things other people are interested in.  I like to get to the ugly side of life.  The ugly side to us.  The things we don't want to show are the things I want to see, because as scary as it is to show that stuff, there is healing, and love lives in the light, and the things we leave in the dark scare us, because we don't want to show people the stuff hidden in our shell, because...  well Goddammit we will judge the Hell out of you right?? 

Not here we won't. 

It seems to me we judge the fabulous, but not the honest ones.  

What we are doing is hard stuff, and we will need miracles of courage to show people the not so fabulous us. 

That is what we are doing, and nobody wants to do it, but as your life goes on you will be brought to the spot where you will just have to go with courage and humility, and a feeling of not being so strong. 

It'll come.  How, I have no idea, but it will.  I have been doing this a while, and it will work out. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  A little shout out to Kim G.  She gets it.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Have a fab one all.    :)     MWAH!!!!    :)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I Don't Know About You...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  I decided today for my own sanity not to look at the stupid Bullshit one may find on their FB timeline. 

Fucking people.

Anyway, I am up early for the first time this week.  I blog ONLY when my internal alarm clock wakes me up.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I did not get up.  So be it...

Today I am up, so I guess I will blog.  Not that I have anything to say.

Something about me.  I am angry'ish I'd have to say.  I guess we want people to think we are great, and we know what we are doing, and we have all our shit together etc..  This blog is not here so you people can tell everyone how fucking Great you are.  This blog is here to get to the truth of life, and you etc...

It is a mirror.  One that lets you look into yourself, so you can see the true nature of you.  Selfish, arrogant, angry, pissed, all the things you are, and don't want to be.

You have a battle being waged within you.  One where you want to  be fabulous, and show how fabulous you are, and the real, which is something less than fabulous.  

How come we never ever see any posts in how you fail as a person.  Not in some stupid race or game or something that doesn't mean SHIT, but in real life??

You should be able to post an update every day on how you fail at Shit, I would think.

But no we are all too busy planning our White picket fence that will never ever show up.  You will be disappointed, and become angry and bitter, because wasn't life supposed to be a certain way??

Only in the make believe stuff you have been duped into believing by the fake stories you heard on tee veee, and the fairy tales you grew up on.

Somehow someway YOU fucked up.   You continue to do so too every day, but you try to hide all the Bullshit behind some kind of fabulous facade.  You know if you are in the upper echelon of the non-existent people hierarchy, you have a long way to fall.  

Life is a mother fucking BITCH.  It is why I use words like strength.  Anne Frank was strong, although she probably didn't spend one day feeling that way.

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Stupid ND linebacker is a moron.  Some people would have voted him to be President too.  Propaganda at it's best.  How easy we all can be duped.


Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Going To Get Wet...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  It is raining outside now, and Sunday is a day I take the Hopester for his "long" walk.  That is where that title came from.  Anyways, I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb...  

Well yesterday was a new and different day.  I only see what is in front of my eyes.  I am not looking to see what other people are doing, and what is going on with them.  As my blog has been pulling for such a long time, maybe I am too.  It is a freedom I have.  I see people as people.  I have no hierarchy of people.  Show me a Suit wearing person on the tee vee, I look at them the same as some normal dude who walks into the lumberyard.  That really is a truth of life, although people have their hang ups with "people hierarchy"   God forbid you are a person who thinks you are in the upper echelon of the non existent "people hierarchy"   Not much help for you. 

So many things to overcome.  So much to do. 

It is hard to be strong in this World.  Pretty much impossible actually.  Why is that?   I am not sure.  You know as hard as the things I went through were, it all seems so simple now.  How crazy huh??  It is good to be the way I am.  I did none of it.  Remember the old lady in the Hospital way long ago who told me to have the patience of Job??  Remember Job's last days after his suffering??  Remember the story of Jacob?? 

Even so I have to go farther than they went.  That is the story, and that is my life.  Lucky to be me for sure. 

Anyways just getting a lil something down. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  It is good to be on this side of life.  :)  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya  cya    :D     :D  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   for allll.   :)   MWAH!!!   :)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Perfect Timing...

Good Morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I was just looking at the clock right now thinking, hmmmm....   perfect timing.  I am up early enough to get all my stuff done before going to work.  Yesterday I did nothing at all.  I think it was a good idea, because I was perhaps a little tight from push ups and pull ups, so a day off is good no matter what the heck you do I think. 

So, anyway I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb...

Anyhoodle I was just thinking how easy my life is.  You would think I am some kind of genius to have little stress that I do.  You have no idea how lucky I am to live the life I do.  To get to this stage where I am now.  A story that really started with...   Hmmmm,   you know who knows who or what I would be, if I did not have the help I had along the way. 

I guess I really always had a pretty good set of eyes.  One that looked to see what other people were doing.  What is a good way to be???  In High School I had a love/hate relationship with myself.  My Junior year in Soccer, it appeared I was pretty good.  I had this long blonde'ish hair, and I liked scoring goals, and running fast away from people on a breakaway.  To see the crowds yell.  WOAH!!!   I did that??  I wanted to be meek though.  I definitely had a sword inside me way back then. 

Always a battle to be a good person.  When my H.S. girlfriend and I broke up, I threw everything away.  One of those blessing in disguise things.  I was out to make myself the perfect person, and that was not the path.  I went away to College the next year.  My next 10 years were in Normal, IL.  I had to hit a rock bottom to try to get back up.  I did with hard work.  I graduated College to have my step-mom die shortly after.  Grandpa died 8 months after that.  Katrina and I broke up on my Birthday.   All alone in the World with this College Degree.  What do I do?? 

Well you know what I did.  What is one to do with one's life?? 

I made a turn in life, and you would think all good things would come from it.  Well, I am here to tell you a lot of suffering went with it.  That was my path.  My path was a very very hard one.  I had to go through things I wish no one would ever have to.  I was picked for it for no reason. 

I don't know your stories, and I don't know what your paths will look like.  I do know you cannot make yourself better people on your own.  I am a testimony to that. 

We will see the direction you go. 

The thing is as hard as the stuff I had to do, right now it seems like nothing.  That is one of the great things I guess.  To be how I am now.  I still have another thing to do.  I am not afraid to do it, although it may be the worst thing I will have done.  Others have gone before me though, and I will have the help of the only one who overcame all. 

 I know people want to find answers to a better life.  I see how the answers were played out in my life.  Inside we think it is something we can attain on our own.  We have a brain, and we are smart, we should be able to figure it out.

You know the story, and you know the way you need to go.  That is all I can say.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  On Jenny Parker Harrison's Birthday I give extra xoxoxoxoxoxo to Kim G.   Jeff Stark's daughter.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Friday, January 11, 2013

How You Like Me Now???

Good Morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I remember a long time ago I said like that song I was going to give all my secrets away.  I guess I am.  How can I and why can I??  Because nothing of what you think of me matters.  In things pertaining to life and death, and all that really is important, what you think of me does not matter. 

I talk directly, and I speak freely, and many people have "told" me in not so many words they don't give a fuck.  Fine with me.  Don't ever underestimate my ability to be a complete hard ass dickhead. 

You know what I mean??  Do you see all the baggage people carry around??  Everyone holds onto what will this person think, or that person think??  The strength to stand alone in a World full of judgers surely is a gift.  It was what my whole story was about.  To get to this point. 

I have some crazy things about me, that well... let's just say it is a hard thing to believe I bet.  I know the truth.  I know my struggles, and I know what I am capable of.  One thing I am capable of is doing this blog day after day after day.   It doesn't always come out pretty, but it can if people were strong. 

People carry a lot of falseness in them.  The truth is hard to get to.  Sometimes some of our falseness is how great we want people to think our lives are.  None of us are perfect so none of our lives are perfect.  The places you go where they say it is important to "look" a certain way, as opposed to being real and being honest is not the right place to be. 

I have been saying this shit all along though.  Truth is a nasty ass Bitch that very few have ever sought or found. 

The formula is horrible all the way around.  Everywhere you look is ugly, and one of the greatest miracles of all, is my heart in the middle of all the uglyness in the World can be like this.  :)

Who knew???

I know where this is leading.  How it will work I have no idea.  So many questions unanswered.  So many things not known.  I trust in a different set of eyes beside my own to lead the way. 

My 5 and 10 year plans were done by someone else.  There was that tine from the early 90's to the start of Heimleblog where I pretty much did my own thing.  I guess it helped me learn the truth about Society and Life. 

It is Friday.  I get to work.  Taking Lisa out to lunch after, and probably get into my pajamas early.  Maybe have a couple drinks.  I am working tomorrow too.  :)   Good paychecks are kinda nice. 

Have a good one all.  

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   to the one's I like .    :)


Thursday, January 10, 2013

2 Can Play At That Game...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me... ehhhhh...

Not so bad.  I am really really surprised I feel like blogging today.  My first thought when I woke up is screw it.  It is dumb.  You know the easiest way this thing goes is if people are honest.  How fucking hard is it??  You all going to be a bunch of fucking pussies your whole life??   I swear some people just thing they are too fucking fabulous I guess. 

Well here is a news flash.  YOU ARE NOT!!  You have toilet paper right??  Do you use it to wipe your ass??  I think so.  

Do you hear me??  Honesty. 

Truth takes hate out of the equation, lies just give fuel to the Father of such things. 

Ya Dig???


Laterzzzz...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Starting Off The Week Right...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. My coffee is done, so I am going to get some.  brb.  :)

So anyway if all Mondays could be like yesterday.  I woke up feeling ready to work, and maybe that is the WHOLE battle of Mondays.  I got everything done I wanted before work.  Took the Hopester, and did my push ups.  I rode my bike to work, which there is no better way to start the day in my opinion.  I had a great day at work.   When I left work it was sunny, and I had to go a long way home to pick up some jock itch stuff.  Riding your bike in the sun in January feels like about the best thing ever.  You are not supposed to be able to do this in January are you?? 

I came home finished my laundry, and made dinner.  I jammed the tunes, and you know the rest.  I had a couple drinks of Brandy, and that is my life.  Work, fun, eat, sleep. 

Life does not offer up a lot.  Do you think sometimes people struggle with the over-hyped movie thingy with their life??  You go into a movie thinking it is going to be the best thing ever, and typically you are disappointed.  You go into life thinking it is this real Grand thing, you'll be disappointed.  Unreal Expectations.  If we found the cure for that the Drug companies would be out of business, because there would be no need for anti-depressants is my guess. 

We all are guilty of adding to that too.  Our Heroes too.  The ones who seem so perfect on the teee veeee.  Everywhere we go we are lied to.  Whether it being suit wearing tee veee people or advertising, and Church pastors are probably the worst.  Shouldn't we all be and feel a certain way??  Does your Pastor/Priest surf porn on the internet???   probably.  He won't tell you that though.  They put up a false facade.  A fake view. 

Where do you find truth??   It is within you.  Within your grasp.  Your life is all about you, and so is your journey.  It isn't about anyone else.  People can give you pieces, but your answers come from within you.  It is a solo journey. 

You know I told you before why not throw everything out.  Everything you ever learned and look at the World objectively.  It may just take the racist out of the racist kid who grew up in a racist town, with racist parents, who never got out of High School. 

Your upbringing is full of imperfections just as everyone else.  Parents do that to their kids too. 

There is only one truth.  One right and one good. 

It isn't anywhere here on Earth.  There really are no heroes.  Trust me.  On my Summer of Discontent, I wanted nothing more than a hero I could see, touch, and get some info. 

Maybe I am a hero.  One you can see.  You know why??   Because I am not fabulous.  I am not sugar coating life for you.  I will be great one day, but it won't be by anything I did.  It was the path laid before me.  You know my story. 

Keeping it real as always. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   this is one of those posts where it may seem like I am mad.  I am not, but shit like this is what really is inside my head.  I assume it helps people get a clearer vision of life.  A real look is all a part of the truth. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Monday, January 7, 2013

It Is A Busy World.

Good morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I was just thinking this morning before I got up, that things sure are busy.  I didn't run this weekend, and who knows when I will again, and I still didn't find time to get things I wanted done.  All my laundry isn't done, house isn't totally clean, and I was thinking where did the time go?? 

Then I remembered I worked for 4-1/2 hours on Saturday, and saw a 3 hour movie on Sunday, while doing some things around the house.  My life is easy too.  The rest of you are fucked.   :)   j/k.  

I am back into my state of normal.  Always waiting always wondering what next things will transpire in this here life thing we do. 

I had a feeling I threw a zinger or two over the weekend.  The hard and bitter truth is we as people ain't so fucking great are we??  We cannot make ourselves better people.  We can surely make our lives a bit better by doing healthy things, but even still, it don't matter how many salads and vegetables you eat if you don't deal with life. 

Some of you have not been good at dealing with life in the past.  All the reasons I don't know.  Perhaps you are part of a group/click.  They do this.  They show this, and all of a sudden there is pressure to be like that.  Truth of the matter is many only show the outside Tiger Woods/Lance Armstrong side.  They lie and hide the other crap. 

That don't work in my World.  That is what truth and honesty is all about.  Lance and Tiger were fabulous for a while huh??   Didn't stand the test of time.  Tiger is still  a great golfer, and Lance still has one of the best engines ever, but they are human.  What kind of stress did Lance live with if he lied, cheated, hid everything from so many people.  All while collecting his ESPY awards.  You know?? 

Life is NOT about showing us your white picket fence.  That SHIT don't work here, and it means nothing. 

So welcome to the World of unadulterated truth.  The one where we are not fabulous.  We don't have all our ducks in a row or whatever that saying is.  Society has been made in an imperfect way, by imperfect people to be perfected by perfect people??  Nope.  Society is a trap.  It is designed to close us up in a manner of speaking, because we fail in some ways against that imperfect design. 

Life is a Bitch.  She is hard.  We have the strength to accept it, and to be strong about it. 

So on we go...

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  It is 3:06.  You know what that means??  I have time to take the Hopester before work.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Not A Lot On My Mind...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  As the title suggests there isn't a lot on my mind, but my coffee is done, so I will go get some, and do this thang.   ;)

I am still not running.  I can always tell in the morning.   That is fine with me.  In life I can adjust.  I slept weird last night.  Was up from midnight til like 2:00, and then I finally fell into a deep sleep.  I have my goals for this year.  Walk Hope, and push ups and pull ups.  So far so good.  I am already doing push ups every day.  Working my way up.  The soreness has left, and I can probably do pull ups again every day.  My muscles don't take long to get used to those.  We have a History. 

I have a lot to do today.  Laundry and stuff.  Lisa works, I need to get a few things for dinner, and maybe see that Tarantino movie.  We'll see.  Other than that just your typical glam day planned.  I will eventually settle down to Football watching probably, and have a few cocktails. 

As I sit down and write this, I realize WOAH!!  'lil ole me.  Been asked to do soooo much.  Things I could never ever ever do on my own.  These things I didn't even do.  Just led on a path.  A path as unbelievable and crazy seeming as a Hobbit's Journey.  You have to know I have never been this brave.  Never been this strong, but that is what it was all about.  That is the story too.  Find your way back to Eden, and be willing to go one step further.  I never knew I had to do all this other stuff in between.  Remember I was willing to go the Summer before the Hospital.  At some point during that Summer I found the answer I seeked.  That Summer was a no win situation at all.  There was no victory in sight.  Not one thing I could do that was right.  One night I walked around the track and was given the building blocks.  patience~steadfastness~endurance~diligence~perseverance. 

Just now I learned another lesson of that night.  It is one of the lessons of this blog.  I wake up a lot feeling like doing this.  In my heart is the desire to do this.  After I got the building blocks I kept walking.  I was going to go all night.  I was done for the night.  I couldn't go on.  I fell asleep.  We will be given the ability to do what we need to do, but there is another always lying.  Always trying to make us do more than what needs to be done.  My Summer that year was all about being lied to.  Do this do that.  I did have the night of Basketball, and I did have the night when I was shown The World as God sees it. Other than that... what a crazy Summer. 

Anyway, here I am now.  The person I have been made.  A lot of my regular personality, and a lot of Spirit in me.  Alive and something I can feel.  The next step the person who I am has to be changed.  The ultimate transformation. 

My journey to understanding, and my journey to be one of those people you read in the Bible.  Able to do all those miracles and stuff.  Even now none of you can understand how I am.  You will understand after.  I am guessing some of you are going to get a pretty good glimpse of some of the things I have been through. 

Nutty things. 

You will find no rest, and no satisfaction by following your own path.  Life is imperfect.  Our own path is imperfect.  It is a fragile relationship we have here.  You have been asked to believe some crazy things.  You have been asked to trust.  You have been asked to let go of you, and trust.  Our relationship hinders on this Heart which is in another ones  hand.  This other one happens to know your heart too.  What is inside.  Do you see what is inside your heart??  Just search your thoughts.  

That is seen, and that is known. 

Our natural tendency is to keep everything in the dark.  All the bad stuff, keep it under wraps.  I have come to tell you the light is truth, and everything is exposed.  The scary stuff we don't want to expose to the light, is really really scary.  The light heals though.  Truth heals. 

So on we go on this Journey.  It is a Journey of strength and courage and honesty and trust.  A lot of good things.  A Journey where one makes you a better person than you can make yourself. 

Do you want to be Great or do you want to be fabulous???   One stands the test of time.  The other is just a false picture. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I don't really get too excited about Birthdays, but there is a big one this Saturday.  Nothing gives me more pleasure in this World than knowing this person is another year older.  :)   Not going to mention any names, but this person is REALLY GETTING OLD.   ;)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Saturday, January 5, 2013

I Am Not Mr. Perfect...

Good morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I slept weird last night.  Napped a few hours, because I was tired, and woke up for a bit, and now I am up early again.  All in all I feel pretty okay.  I am going to get my cup of coffee though, so hold on. 

Okay, I am back.  Maybe I will give you a lil blog about me.  I have this blog, and it may as well be about me huh??  I do not try to be me.  I don't work at being this or being that.  This person here isn't perfect, and I don't worry about it.  I let everything I do be seen, and all my thoughts are seen.  I don't worry about it, because I have been this way since after the Journey on most days.  I was done.  The work was over.  I do not need to do anything more, and that is why my blog is called "The Wait" 

My life was a Spiritual Journey.  One where I suffered a lot, and now like I said things seem so unfair.  Why unfair??  You all are working so hard at this or that, and trying to be this... reading about what this guy or girl thinks.   Should I be more like them?? 

I know what I write makes sense, and I have a feeling people know what I talk about... at least some of the time.  I am here to tell you there is a way to make a better you.  It isn't you who does the making of the better part.  You have to do some stuff though, because the Journey of your life is a look back. 

Life is a sad and lonely existence.  Lonely, because we are humans.  We are imperfect.  Everyone walks around with some kind of sword.  I judge them and them and them.  So much judging out there closes people up.  We get into our little click.  The people we have something in common with, and the World makes sense there.  We all think alike, and this must be the best a person can be. 

I have come along, and said, well your life is all about you.  Who you are, what you think, etc...  I gave you some information, and I am telling you it works.  I am living proof.  Not that I am perfect mind you, but it is possible to have an internal strength that allows you to be you. 

It isn't easy, and it doesn't make you perfect.  I have another thing to do to get to that, but that is later.  Whenever that is.  Some stuff needs to be done, or else this would have been done a long time ago.  I don't know what it is, we will see.

Expect and brace for hard times, because life has that.  You will have to drink the bloody Marys at Phil's.  No way around it. 

Life doesn't get any better that what you have been doing.  Your heart can be made so you have a happy acceptance of how stupid everything really is.   :) 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Big Win for the Bulls over the Heat in Miami.  WOOOOO   HOOOOOO!!!   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Friday, January 4, 2013

Good Things Happen In The Morning...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb.  

Okay coffee in hand.  Well now it is Jan 4th, and the New Year is upon us.  Work has started up again, and I am back into my routine.  What does this New Year bring for me?? 

Well the excitement of it being a New Year is gone, so here it is.  Simple achievable Resolutiony things. 

  1. Take Hope for a walk almost every day... or run, when healthy. 
  2. Push ups, Pull ups.  I like the way they make me feel strong when I keep up with them.  
  3. This isn't really a resolutiony thing, but Winter riding has made me love my bike again.   
There.  That is it.  A big change in  lifestyle??  Nah.  I just want to do a couple things that make me a bit better.  I typically don't eat horrible.  You know I like my alcohol, and will continue to do so.  As far as food goes, I am lucky.  I don't eat a ton of chips.  I don't eat desserts hardly ever.  Heck, I don't even drink pop, unless it is in my brandy.   For some reason I only drink one cup of coffee each day.  If I finish the cup.  That is no plan on my part, that is just what my body wants.

I know yesterday's blog entry was probably a, well heck it was pulling again huh??  Trust, pull, trust, pull, trust pull.  

Why??  because trust is one of the best things in the World.  I pull too, because it is good.  Trust me it is a good thing.  Why do I pull??  It is in my heart to do that.

Is it a bad thing I do this??  No, because what do I get in return for it??  Nothing tangible huh??

I wish there was a quick and easy way to help everyone feel better about themselves.  There is an opportunity for you to live a life without 2nd guessing.  No What ifs.  Will you be asked to do something?  Perhaps.  All the courage, and strength you need will be given.  Trust, turn,  trust, turn,  trust, turn.

You know??

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has  a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  There are things we think we know, that may actually, not really be the case.  Our Lives have been filled with a lot of Fictional stuff.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  



Thursday, January 3, 2013

Thinking In The Morning...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I was thinking about some things this morning before I got up.  Sometimes I try and make sense of things.  My life in relation to others.  What I am doing with this blog and stuff. 

I did get a glimpse of people.  Confidence.  No one is fully confident of themselves.  Even people who you think should be.  I wonder why that is.  I am just talking confidence as a person.  It is a big World out there.  It is filled with a lot of people, and a lot of different people.  We really are just us.  We think about different things than others, and who knows what those things are. 

Personally I am just living this life here.  I have a blog that I do a lot.  I kinda caught a glimpse of how people are, and the things they need to do.  I know the desire of people is to live incredible lives.  What do I do to make that happen?? 

I know, and I know the route, and it almost seems unfair that I am how I am now.  With a realistic, and honest look at life, and with a gift of this heart I have.  I have been where people were.  You know where you think you are smart, and you should be able to make some kind of fabulous life.  The things you want in life you don't know yet.  You don't even know the possibilities out there. 

I am me though.  I am how and who I am.  I could tell you things, but I've told them already.  You are smack dab in the middle of your life. 

I really don't have much to say, but I want to tell you how I feel, but the words escape me.  You have no idea.  I mean really.  How I am you cannot make yourself this way.  Either can I.  It was my story that started long ago.  That I am alive to see these days is pretty remarkable.  Who knew?? 

So anyway, we will see what happens today.  '

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  The bright and sunny days are really from within. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Back To Normal...

Well we just finished a couple long weekends.  Back to work, and the daily grind.  I guess for me it really isn't a grind so much.  My life isn't real complicated, and it isn't full of a ton of stress.  There are pluses and minuses to almost everything I guess.  Some people work from home, but have to work all the time, and I go do my job, and it is done.  I don't worry about it when I am home, and don't really think about it too much.  I get tested 3 times each year to see how I, and our store are doing overall, so that keeps me on my toes.  Keeps me always wanting to put forth a good effort you know??  What more can you ask??

Other than that not much going on.  I rode the trainer for 3 days in a row.  A new record for me.  It is good for me to do something, especially when I cannot run.  It isn't so bad.  I mean you don't even have to try real hard, and you'll work up a good sweat.  I have made a conscious decision to walk Hope almost every day.  If I don't run with him I used to not walk him.  In the Winter I will be the only one to walk him, because Lisa doesn't like the Winter and cold.  Good for Hope, and good for me.  Sometimes just a little tweak in our lives can bring about a positive outcome. 

I will ride my bike to work today, and drive home with Lisa.  We have to go shopping for dinner.  Not sure what we'll make.  I am feeling perhaps a wine night tonight.   :)   I want to ride the trainer though too when I get home, and take the monster.   :)  Hopester.  

So anyway,  That is a wrap for today!!   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  This year should be interesting.  :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really  really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

I Know I Know, but It Feels Different...

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I have been thinking the last day or two that things seem different.  I always have a dark cloud hanging over my head of what needs to be done.  It hinders me in ways to what I want to do, and what I am willing to do.

So as everyone wants to start off the New Year on a positive note, I feel different.  Like I can really strive to be a better version of myself.  Really just in how I live and how I am.  I can be more active.  I can be more well rounded.  After continually getting injured by training for the big distances, and trying to get the big miles, I can throw that out the window.  It isn't working, and I don't have the money to do all the fancy massage, ART, and whatever other crap people do.  I don't take ice baths, and whatever.  So I should just accept the hand that has been dealt.  At least as I see it.

Maybe this year I can focus on the shorter stuff.  5K's and 10K's and such.  I can do more of those, because let's face it, I haven't been racing much anyway.  Maybe I can focus on getting some of those shorter distance PR's.

I know on Jan 1. everyone feels like they want to start their life over.  I know in years past I wanted to blog every day, and comment on every blog I read.  Well, that ain't going to happen.  This year I want to be a better version of myself.  Get in a little bit better shape.  Strength wise, and speed wise.  I feel I have the desire to do that.  Over the last several years I haven't gained much weight at all.  A bit I am sure.  I don't step on the scale, but my clothes still fit.  Most are a little big actually, so I think It won't take a huge effort for me to become just a little better.  I want to put in a good effort though, so that all looks positive.

Things that will remain the same are this blog.  Your lives will be interesting this year I am sure, because there is a lot to do, and sometimes life happens in a way so our eyes can become opened.  Whatever that entails.

We will see.

I will be here though.  I always watch, and wait, and look to see what is happening.

You know me.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I decided to take today off from work as it turns out.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D