Pluto's Great Stand.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was okay. I dropped down in steps a bit. My legs were tired. It was kinda rainy when I got home, so I read some more of IT. Also I rented the movie again and watched it. I will be ready for Sept.  6th when the 2nd part comes out.  You kinda forget how good a book it is.

I did think yesterday that maybe it says something about me I am really enjoying the book a lot. It is my 3rd time reading it.  Maybe it says something about my outlook though. Like I am enjoying this book so much cuz how I am seeing things. Way different than the 2nd time I read it. That is understandable. Remember though I could put the book down 1-1/2 years ago, and now I am obsessed. Just something I thought of.

I guess what I am saying is I look for clues I spose that this story is getting close to the end. My story not IT. I cannot in any way see how those days happen. So, I am content doing my day to day. Today will be another of those days. I will work tomorrow and have all of Sunday off. Like I said before I am excited for it.

Really outside that not much on my mind. More days than not I am the only blog I see uodated in my list. Others in my list may blog like once/ year or none. I don't really know why that is, but what I really wondered is how my blog works. I kinda figured it's probably good to see frequent updates from me. Maybe cuz my blog "voice" ain't horrible. It's all speculation on my part though.

When I first started blogging there were 4 bloggers. I felt comfortable with them. One didn't like me. Her name was Audrey I think. I remember she took a picture.  I saw something in her eyes. Like the window to her soul. She looked sad. It's like I could almost understand her. She took the pic down the next day. I asked her why she took the pic down.  Anyway she thought I was a total creep. I have no idea her last name. I think she ended up being a lawyer or something.  Got married too I think. The other 3 didn't hate me.

I eventually branched out. Usually from comments on top of my comments. I'd check out their blog. If interested I'd follow along. Most people added were comments on top of my comments on a girl named Maija's blog. She eventually thought I was a creep too. As far as I know she lives in Colorado with maybe her husband Adam. I remember she was divorced once before. I don't know her last name either. She was one of the Michigan bloggers,  and now there is no such thing.

I would read frequent updates from people like this. It was interesting. You know how time goes though. You don't miss it. My blog goes on. The voice probably not too different than when I first started. I am more confident, and much stronger now. These people may even check on my updates once in a while, but I wouldn't know. Don't know why they would.  Nothing important going on here you know? 

It was fun the days when people blogged. My life is better now though even though I am the only one who blogs.

Just a flash down memory lane. I do that every couple months or so. Wonder whatever happened to the old time bloggers. 

Anyway, I spose. I may try to run again today,  but my legs were fatigued yesterday.  It may just be a walk. 

Laterzzzzzzz.         :)

xoxo.           :)

xxoo.           :)

Byeeeeeeeee.          :)))

Relax...Dont Do It.

So we are approaching the end of another week. This week so far has been pretty good. I got back to the gym yesterday. I missed a couple days. Friday I had shit to do, and Monday it was closed. I got the home part done too. Hitting the gym takes discipline. It's good for me I know,  but it's not exactly fun. For me it seems like something I just gotta do.

So I hated my front lawn. I thought it needed a big repair, but it doesn't look bad. The rain filled in a lot of areas. I tilled  a square piece of bad area, and planted new seed. I put down some good new soil,  and starter. Now I just gotta water it twice each day. I was over 30,000 steps yesterday, so a good day was had. I didn't have time to read IT after work, I did read some before. I am totally into it. For some reason I can kinda get in the kids heads. I am really enjoying it. I am going to finish the kid parts,  and go back and do the adult parts. It goes kid adult,  kid adult. I am going to read kid, kid, adult,  adult. I am on the 2nd kid part.

Work will get pretty insane in a couple weeks, so I'll be busy. It should be a fun Summer. I can't tell you how good I feel when I hit 30,000 steps. It's a good day for me, and I've been productive. Typically I am more than ready for bed. Pretty early too. Of course I get up early too, but I feel like I've been doing that for years.

Not really much on my mind. Just in the middle of my day to day. I like it. It's easy. I am not looking for better days. These days are fine.

I feel I have a pretty good balance. I stay busy. I do stuff. I have time to chill, and I eat enough to satisfy me. I go to bed knowing a solid day has been had. I'll have Sundays off from now on. I am kinda excited about it. Don't know why really. Just am.

So today is a day. I think it should be pretty okay. Not really worried about anything. Just excited kinda. What is today gonna bring? 

Anyway this is how I feel today when I woke up. 

Laterzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.          :)

xxoo.          :)

Byeeeeeee.           :)))

Therein Lies The Rub.

I Think that's a saying right?  I am not really sure what it means. Yesterday was okay. I took Hope early. I had no idea it was 97% humid out. I kept thinking how out of shape am I? Saw the humidity level, and realized the problem. It's like running and being waterboarded at the same time.

I got over 29,000 steps yesterday so a pretty good day. I cut the grass, and trimmed. Used my tiller too. It's 4 cycle, but just does a 12" area. It worked fine,  and it's all I need it for. Small sections. Gonna use it today too.  :)

I read some more of my book, made dinner, and went to bed super early.  I guess that's pretty much all I want in a day. Be busy, get shit done,  eat a meal, and sleep. It rained last... well it just stopped. It was pretty steady for an hour or two. Perfect for my lawn.

Everything looks pretty good. My life is settled kinda. Not really anything to worry about. It's good being like this.  I know some people probably have some stress. Futures are uncertain. There are illnesses to worry about. Living a healthy lifestyle, eating good. Keeping vices to an acceptable level.  One thing about me is I usually wake up like this. I am okay with my life. Content as it were. I wonder how weird that sounds to people. Content. Life doesn't need to be any better. My life is fine, but it is totally predictable,  and totally unspectacular.

My life is fun for me, although I doubt it looks fun  from the outside. I was thinking earlier of me looking at the World from the outside. Looking at Political arguments from the outside. I realized others cannot do it. I don't find it to be an exercise of great importance, but I can do it. I don't hold onto anything. Upbringing,  Country, Flags,  written words from people 100s of years ago. I am not a part of this World. Your unwritten rules of how you are supposed to be do not concern me.

I realized people cannot look at things from the outside if they never threw everything away at some point. You still are a product of upbringing,  society etc...   I don't even know how you could do it anymore. It's too late in the game you know?  You've been shutout. When it came time to choose a blind path of trust or hold onto your life, you held onto your life. You were supposed to meekly and probably with some fear and hesitation give up your coin. Turn what you knew was going to be your greatness, and whatever for the unknown.

The World lies, and that's what people hold onto. I do know this thing does work out. The story will be told.  I just cannot see how the days go. I don't know your place in them either.

Regardless I still have my day to day. I got stuff to do. Hope needs a run. IT needs to be read. Areas need to be tilled.  I have a life that needs to be lived, until it is time for me to do the final thing for the current version of me.

Anyhoo,  I gotta poop, and then run.

Laterzzzzzzz.  :)

xoxo.          :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeee.      :)))

IT

I was having one of those title things. Yesterday since I got up so early,  and pretty much just had laundry to do, I picked up the IT book again. I started rereading it for the 3rd time like 1-1/2 years ago. I put it down for a while, lost it, and refound it. Pieced together where I left off,  and started rereading it again. I don't really know how I put it down before. The 2nd part of the movie comes out Sept. 6th. I saw the trailers and it looks good.

All my laundry is done, folded, and put away, and all dishes cleaned,  and put away. We went to Lowes,  and used our gift cards. I got a tiller, and some other stuff.  Went to a cookout at Lisa's brothers house, and a day was had. I refertilized the front lawn too. It's actually filling in pretty good. It rained last night, so that's good.

So as you can see life as usual going on with me. I have a book to read.  Plenty to do outside,  I am on the 7th book in a series of like 27 or something. Those I listen to. I am on season 4 of its always Sunny in Philly too. I got stuff to keep me busy. Not too many days off to make me lazy. It's a good time I guess.

Not much else to report. Just going on with life. I enjoyed my 2 days off, but I am definitely ready to get back to my routine.  It's one of the best parts of my life. Wake up with a plan for the day. A day that will keep me busy. A day that will have me sleep good. A day where I will feel fulfilled I guess. I deserve a good meal after my day's labor. I deserve chill time too. I have more stuff to do than can be done in just one day. Keep plugging along. Plus you gotta do regular day by day things. Cut the grass, clean dishes, do laundry,  cook dinner.

It's All good with me.  I know politics just makes people angry. I tried to throw everything away to look at things objectively. I don't really know. Also,  I don't care. Outside of religious right silly arguments, I am fine. I have my day to day, and I'll keep with that.

I really cannot even imagine how you others feel. You are a part of the World, so you have plenty of stuff,  and stress to escape from. A lot of supposed to do in life. A lot of have to, and things like that.

I do as I want,  and I want to live my simple day to day. I have nothing to escape from. I am not ashamed of the less than perfect person I am, because I am on that path. It's just I am not powerful enough to make that change in myself. I knew the path like 27 years ago or so. I was willing to go. For the security. As you know now I already have security, but it is my path. I gotta do it. I will suffer for it greatly,  but I gotta do it anyway you know? 

Anyway, enough about me. :)

Gotta run.

Laterzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeeee.        :)))

I Had A Lazy Lazy Day.

So I've been working Sundays for over a year I bet. Yesterday I had off, and I have today off too cuz of the holiday.

It is 2:44 AM, and there are neighbors still up somewhere. I can hear them talking.  :)  it is my next door neighbor actually.  I like sleep too much I guess. I don't mind being up at 2:43 AM, but only if I already slept.

Anyway yesterday was really lazy. I did do all the dishes,  and that's about it. As you know I usually am approaching 30,000 steps on any day I work. Yesterday I was at ~1500 at 5:30 PM. Most days I am way past that at 5:30 AM. So that's a lazy day. As I have today off too, I am fine with it. Why not have a lazy day? 

It is Memorial day so kinda the beginning of Summer. I have stuff to keep me busy. There are no great feats I will try to pursue. I am not a great person. I don't feel anyone is. Perhaps I know no one is.

It is pretty easy to look at my life and see perfection I did not attain. I don't even know how I could even compare myself to a Saint.

I don't believe running totals clear your slate. I've been married for 80 years so all my flaws have been forgiven. Umm, no.

I watched Wedding Crashers yesterday. It's a funny movie. Weddings are ridiculously expensive days. I stood up at a wedding. It ended up in divorce,  and I made out with the girl I stood up with. I was at the wedding with my girlfriend Katrina. The girl was hot.  Earlier I was thinking of maybe a 16 year old girl I had relations with when I was maybe 22. It wasn't intentional. We became friends. I drove her home after a work function. One of those things where it just kinda happened I guess.

A bunch of stupid stuff in my life. I didn't have remorse over my actions. Just living. Doing as I feel you know?  It's just my normal tendencies weren't always on the Saintly side of things. I expect most of us are that way. Just our thoughts are probably fucked up in ways.

I saw things of people over the age of 50 getting married for at least the 2nd time.  Why?  Who cares?  The feelings will change just like the first time. We all get infatuated. It's usually pretty powerful, but that shit doesn't last.

In the end you settle down. I never want to stay up til 3:00 AM on a holiday weekend. All things being equal that's when I'd like to wake up.

It's so easy to go on with life as the imperfect creatures we are. I guess I did look at things head on. I felt death, I hurt people, cuz my desires didn't always line up with a Saint's actions. 

I grabbed the truth and held on I guess. It told me this World is a lie. There are no heroes. None of us measure up. Counting stats or no.

I think I'll take Hope.

Laterzzzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.        :)))

That 2:30 AM Alarm.

I did NOT think I was going to get up early this morning. That early alarm went off, and WOAH!!  I was out. I tend to get up soon after though. Yesterday I didn't. I slept as late as I could.  Today I guess I could have stayed in bed. I like writing this thing for some odd reason. Also I thought maybe I could run this morning. I am healthy, so I think I can.

Yesterday was a day. Pretty normal outside of sleeping in. I took Hope after work,  checked on my tomatoes, weeded the side of the house,  and made pizza. I was only around 25,000 steps yesterday, but the day before I was around 35,000 steps. It looks promising for hitting my random 72 mile/ week goal.

Outside of that not much. Makes you  wonder why I do this huh?  It's not like I have anything important to say. I don't think I thought of anything real significant I don't think. I do feel when I get home,  and chill for a bit I get a 2nd wind. I take on a project like weeding the side of the garage. It makes me feel good to accomplish something. I'll then eat a meal, and crash. My pizza was really good.

I slept good last night. Let me check. Around 6-1/2 hours. I feel ready to start the day. No major plans. Maybe go frisbee golfing after work if the weather is good.

Yeah, that's about it. Nothing really on my mind. It's a simple life huh? Work, and if the weather is nice I'll go frisbee golfing. I don't have any responsibilities outside of working. Nothing I need to escape from. There is no stress I need to have a break from. I don't have any questions or concerns about life. I don't daydream in what ifs. In life I found what we all seek for. A feeling of contentment. This life does not need to be better. It's good enough as it is. I am not sad,  and I am not lonely. Can you imagine just sitting before work wondering if the weather will let you go frisbee golfing today. That's it. The only concern. Plus you have home projects you can start on. Memorial Day is basically here.

I am 52, and I don't have anything to really worry about. When it came time for me to make life's decisions I had no clue what I was doing. Not sure what I wanted. The World seemed so full of imperfection everywhere. All along what I wanted was just these simple days. Stay busy, stay active, have a meal, and sleep good. I feel good in my own head you know?  I have no baggage. It's All been taken away.

The secret to me is my heart. It's just naturally happy. Well perhaps not so naturally,  but it is different now then the one I was born with. My feeling comes not from me. It's just a gift.

Who knew?  Surely not I. I did not direct this story in the least.

Anyways, I think I'll try and run.

Fun fun.

Laterzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.          :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeeee.         :)))

Go Out And Have A Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was okay. I worked, cut the grass, and got my tomato plants in the garden, and the steps were over 30,000. A day was had. That is pretty much how I'd draw up my perfect day. We went out to dinner. I had a patty melt, and cottage cheese.  I just checked my sleep, and I got 6-1/2 hours of sleep.

Today is a workout day so I have to do that,  and then I am not sure.  I still have some outside stuff to do.

That's pretty much about it. Not a lot going on with me. Just doing the day by day thing. Not doing anything special. Nothing really special to do. It's just life in this World. 

You know how sometimes you come by a fork in the road. A big decision. Which way do I go?  As I am now any which way I go is the correct one. It don't matter. My path is lit,  and any way is good. It's a pretty good feeling.

You know me though. No forks in my road.  I do my simple day to day. Usually hoping to be around 30,000 steps. Stay busy, chill a bit, and eat a meal and sleep.

I think I'll be able to run Hope instead of walking her soon. I was feeling better,  but I played frisbee golf on Monday, so my groin was sore again,  but only for a day. My muscles are getting used to it.

So yeah a lot of simple thoughts fill my day. Not a lot for me to worry about. 50 is different than 40. 40 you wonder if you made a mark in the World. 50 you don't give a shit anymore. Of course a lot has happened in between. 3 different blogs for one.   :)  

It's pretty easy being me. Not much for me to worry about. The future I don't stress about at all. I guess all is good.

Anyhoo,

Laterzzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.          :)

Byeeeeeeee.     :)))

Well Hello. Looks Like We Got Another Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was okay. Nothing too crazy. As of now I will be working Mondays starting around 2:00 AM, and I'll have Sundays off. I think I'll like it just fine. The only thing I worry about is getting my Sunday shit done. House cleaned,  laundry cleaned, folded, and put away, etc...  I think it will be okay for me, as every day I work will be early. No more working til 10:00 PM. It's kinda unnatural for me,  and I don't always feel refreshed on my day off.

So that's that. Not too much going on with me. The people who bought the house next to us a couple years ago were named Steve and Lisa too. The guy was black, and the girl Hispanic. They had 3 kids. I liked them alright. Said hi, and yadda yadda yadda. Then they would fight, house seems to have gone in foreclosure than not. Steve didn't live there anymore. Some black guy came around, and then the police. Every week. The cops took the black guy away. Like 10 of them all with guns. The kids we don't see anymore, and rarely do I see anyone. Yesterday some rough black girl I've seen around walking here and there was living there. She needed help finding her phone by me calling it. She's rough in a thick accent kind of way, and a life of too many cigarettes, and who knows what else. So, that was surprising.

You never really know what makes up another life. No one's life is perfect that's for sure. Last week I cracked 74 miles. Goal is 72, so that's good. I have a lot to do this week. It's not yet Memorial Day, and I don't feel like we really got too much done before Memorial Day last year. I already have my tomato plants, I just gotta get them in the ground. I have to cut the grass today too. It will be busy, and Memorial Day is this weekend so we have to make a ton of stuff for the bakery.

So a quick little look into my life must make it seem boring. I am sure it is like everyone else's. We aren't doing real important stuff. We really all just want to live comfortably. Not too comfortably though. My Dad is retired,  and there isn't a lot of stuff to do to fill up the day. For me it is let me labor, and enjoy my day.

I live comfortably.  I enjoy my day to day typically. Mostly cuz I am active, and I got shit to do. I feel pretty good that way. Doing what I do. I guess this is what I wanted. To be secure. To feel assured. To not have a worry about coulda woulda shoulda. My life is fine, cuz my heart doesn't need anything else.

Just my day to day is cool with me.

I am unremarkable in every aspect. I am fine with that too. I don't want anyone to think I am exceptional.  I don't need that.

Comfortable in my own skin I guess you can say, and happy with my little easy life.   One thing I learned about me long ago is it is good for me to be busy.

Anyway, I gotta take Hope.  72 miles does not just happen automatically.

Laterzzzzzz.          :)

xoxo.             :)

xxoo.         :)

Byeeeeeeee.        :)))

The War On Women.

Well the religious right is on the wrong side again. Still. Always. Women's rights and all, whatever. More importantly it is better for all to just not have kids. Don't fucking do it. Better off are those aborted than to see all the evil done under the sun. Only twice in the Bible will.you see abortion used. The other time Job prayed like I did during those 6 days "please make it so I was aborted before birth" 

The teacher who came had 12 followers. None procreated. The teacher even said it is easier in life to go solo if possible. The multitudes will not have a favorable outcome. Don't fucking have kids. The religious right fight the other sides battle as usual. Have more and more kids. They do the enemies bidding. 

Yes yes yes, when I see people til this day having kids I am not rejoicing. I think people just made their walk harder. I know all the fairy tales.  You were supposed to be on a journey learning other stuff. Why the fuck else would we have gone in the wilderness?  To show the true nature of our existence. Not to have more fucking kids.

I saw abortion in my Twitter feed, and gathered Alabama is on the leading edge of who the fuck wants to live there?  #1 on their list of tourist attractions doesn't even exist. No one travels there for fun. I am 52 so not a biggie to me. I rarely even have sex anymore. Don't really give a shit about it.

I do know my life. It was a struggle just finding myself. Who am I compared to who am I "supposed" to be. If people knew the real me with my fears insecurities etc...  The serious part of me that isn't always trying to have fun will they  still like me?  My first heart break that was hard. The first time Carolynn and I dated. Just a short while, and I blew it.

Life's a struggle. You shouldn't wish it on anyone. The best gift you can give is not making others. Some have already so we go accordingly. Don't think it made your path easier though cuz it did just the opposite.

That's the truth,  and that is what we are about. The brutal truth. Not a fairy tales harmony. One's a lie, and one isn't. One is a father of lies,  and one is the other.

Your life is you, not your cause. Time to put your grown up pants on and deal with you.  Fuck Alabama, and don't worry about your cause. The World is a shit hole. First just deal with you.

Anyhoo,  I slept 8 hours last night. Under 30,000 steps. 28,000 +  I did get a lot done around the house. Pretty good day I guess.

Laterzzzzz.          :)

xoxo.           :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeeeee.          :)))

The Day.

So yesterday I am pretty sure I used up all my energy. I passed the 30,000 step plateau. My workout at the gym was just a little tougher than usual. (tired)  I did get my home part done, unlike Monday when I forgot,  and chilled. I had no energy for anything else. I was spent. I ate dinner,  and crashed soon after.

Personally I don't think I want to spend all my energy in a day. You don't feel fulfilled you just feel tired. I slept like a champ yesterday. I feel I shouldn't limit what I do. I guess I feel like I want my body to keep up with me. So many variables in any given day. Sleep is always different. My resting heart rate is pretty steady, so I am not fighting anything. Every day can be different though.

At home the last two days I sat outside with my shirt off. It was like 70° and sunny. It's been a while. I probably got a little sun. I do like that part of my day. The sit outside and chill part.

Outside of expending all my energy yesterday nothing crazy happened. Work, eat, chill, sleep. Sleep was good. I had to recharge my watch so I don't know how much I slept. I know I woke up for the first time right before my alarm. I wondered what time it was. I looked at my phone, and 10 seconds later my early alarm went off.  My early alarm is an important part of my steps. Take Hope. I am not running now, cuz of my groin, but I still get steps. Pretty sure I was at 20,000 steps before noon the last couple of days. I'd get home with like 28,000 in hand. Day won.   :)

So there. A day was had. Sleep was good. I am having a coffee ready to start it again. A new day. I feel pretty good about stuff. I am busy, I am active. I feel good about me, and my life. I am not angry toward anyone I know of.  I don't miss anyone. I've lived a life of no regrets I'd say. I haven't been a Saint, but I dealt with all the baggage already. Just living you accumulate it. My life is pretty easy cuz I don't have a lot of anger. I put forth effort in stuff, and that I feel is a good trait. I don't look for the easy way out.

I really got nothing today. Just a guy who woke up from his sleep ready to start another day. I am not fighting for any cause. I guess I am white and male, so it's not like I've been persecuted.   I don't have to deal with that anger I guess. Early on though I threw everything away. My upbringing,  schooling, parents, the World. You name it. A step needed so I can actually stand on my own two feet. No excuses. It's just me now.

Yeah, I guess that throws a lot of garbage away. I reckon that step does not get done often for whatever reason. I don't particularly think it's scary. I figured why should I count on any of that crap?  Turns out it mostly is crap. So basically you all are made up of various piles of crap.  :)

Stinkies.  :)

Laterzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeee.         :)))

The Start Of The Week.

My weekly goal is 72 miles of steps. Last week I was 73.5 miles. Mostly on a sore groin. Yesterday was over 13 miles, and 30,000 steps. If I see I passed 30,000 steps it's been a good day. I also got a couple things done outside. I am sure I spent ~ 2 hours doing them. We ordered Pizza Hut for dinner. No one wanted to cook. I barely stayed awake for one episode of its always Sunny in Philly. I started watching it again. From season 1.

I needed a little catch up on sleep. I got just under 7 hours. It was all together at once though, so that's good. It's going to be a long week workwise, but that is fine.  If I can keep getting little shit done at home that helps. Already I put the dishes in the dishwasher. Every plate was dirty. That's not my usual routine,  but sometimes you just want it done.

Other than that not much. Another day is here. I'll be busy. I'll be active. There will be a meal, and some chill time. Just another day. I don't have to find the keys to the Universe, cuz I guess I already did. My future is certain.

I am not looking for meaning to my life.  I don't need acceptance from people. I am confident and strong as I am. I know the value of the life we were born into. Not much. Life is a struggle for all. It's always been people have been surrounded by imperfect people. Getting to the point where one can see their true nature is very very uncommon. We were never taught to look at the truth. We graded on the curve. We separated ourselves with the clothes we wear, and the way our hair is.

Life is thankless. My Dad is 84, and what does he have to.live for?  He's 84, and he's living on borrowed time. 84 year olds aren't exactly interesting. You don't really want to hang out with them. He watches a lot of tv. He goes out every day to do stuff. At 84 you really aren't planning for your future.

It's not a sad state it's a dumb state. Pointless. Stupid, people have to endure these types of days. You thought life was this grand thing, but it's dumb. It isn't fabulous in the least. No one is out making this World a better place. There is no such thing. You can't change your end.  6' under is what you cannot labor away.

When your 84 looking back upon your life you'll see it wasn't much to it. You didn't make a mark. I guess I saw that way back when. I saw what life had to offer, so I turned from me, and started on the path actually laid out for me. I had no clue what it would be. As it turns out it was more than I bargained for. When I was living in fear the last thing I would have wanted to do is what I have become. No thank you.

I was trying to escape judgement not go to a place of higher judgement. It would be like sticking hot coals down my shirt for no reason.

I am what I am though. I am fine with it. Confident. Can't imagine how much more I'll have to suffer for it, but I accepted my path. It will be scary I am pretty sure.

Anyway, I am just thinking aloud. Today i have a day as I previously stated. There will be work,  activity,  and a meal. Thankfully I am not 84 so everything isn't completely dumb about my life.  :)

Laterzzzzzzzz.           :)

xoxo.              :)

xxoo.         :)

Byeeeeeeee.         :)))

It's Been A Weekend.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. My sleep has been sorta out of whack. I saw Avengers Infinity War was on Netflix. Also I never saw it. I saw endgame in theaters before infinity war. How did that happen?  I kept thinking after Endgame I must have missed a movie. I did.

I played disc golf on Saturday so I was sore as Hell. Still am. Both sides of my groin. I was practicing my throwing,  and threw wrong on Saturday. I know my mistake though.

Other than that not much. This week will be a long week. We will be shorthanded. Memorial Day is coming up,  so really we should be pretty busy through Labor Day. I cut my grass yesterday. Operation kill the lawn has been scratched. The back yard is atrocious.

Really a lot going on I guess. You know how in your mind you contemplate all the things that need to be done? It would be nice if the guy gets our driveway done soon. Oh, I did replace my 20+ year old gas powered weed whacker. The new one works great. The last one worked 20+ years. Also I have to get the garden going soon. Geez we are redoing one side of our back fence too. So much to do.

Other than that though life goes on. I did think of something last night. I am accepted. My plot is on a crash course. My story will be told. I don't need to have a certain amount of politeness. Basically people have no say in what is going to happen. I am free from concern, like do I have to be considered right?  I have no use to be holier than thou. That fakeness I have no use for. I am not the best a person can be, and I don't have to act it. I wonder what percentage would like to have that burden off their backs.

The knowledge accepted you are not a Saint, and the strength to live accordingly.  Luckily I am not a mass murderer or anything. I just want to enjoy my day to day. Keep busy, have a meal. Do stuff. I don't have any dreams of what my best life would be like. This is it. Being free means I don't have to accept the societal norms FB wants to shove down your throats ad nauseam year after year. Like I voted did you?  Happy Mothers Day etc...  

The World I have no use for. It also has no say in my story,  except that I am not a part of it. I don't listen to its rules of political correctness cuz the World is the fakest thing out there. It's pretty gross really. If people could actually see inside their hearts they'd know like me you aren't a Saint. That is hard though. The proverbial log is still there. The World is still your master.

That you cannot change for yourself. When you were given the option to go the route I told you about, you chose the World. Greatness still eludes you too.

It does me too, but I don't even care. How I live now is way better than I could have imagined. So easy.

Anyway I spose. Where we go from here I don't know. Like my whole life post turn. We are in uncharted waters. I have no clue,  but my direction is good. Security and assurance have been with me since overcoming twice. The strength that comes with it too.

Laterzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.         :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeee.       :)))

Not The Title Thing Again.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am doing good. Yesterday was okay. I was low on steps, cuz I didn't take Hope in the morning. The rain stopped so I took her after work. I then practiced throwing the frisbee at the park, and magically I cracked 30,000 steps. I stretched some too,  and I find value in that.

I took my Dad out to dinner at a local Italian place. The main course was nothing great, but they had a salad made of cucumbers, and watermelon, and like a vinaigrette. What a combination. It was so good. Such a simple idea, and so delicious.

I was so excited to just go to bed after my day.   Sleep obviously is an imoortant part of my day. I got some stuff to do around the house so I plan on keeping busy. It's All relative I guess. I don't stay super busy, but just plug along. My days will always have some chill time. Being active,  sleeping,  and chilling are all part of the equation. I feel like I don't let the balance get out of whack. Enough of each I'd say.

I don't program it, I just do. I don't plug numbers into a spreadsheet coming up with an optimal formula. It just kinda works out for me. I spose maybe sometimes the balance gets out of whack,  but all of a sudden a new day is here,  and I start over.

It's pretty easy being me I guess. In other news there is no news on my end. Today is a day. It will be like most days. I have to work out, and I want to play frisbee golf. There will be a meal, and sleep.

Just another easy day in this easy life. Another dumb update too.  :)

I don't think I thought of anything too crazy yesterday. I worked, did stuff. I had a day.  I wasn't mad at anything.

Do you ever see angry people,  and marvel at how horrible it must be?  They probably don't even know they are angry. They have no idea how miserable they are I bet.

Most probably assume they are normal. How can anything ever even penetrate something like that? 

They are living in misery,  and don't even know it. A contemptuous heart must be awful. The worst is people can see it in them,  but they can't. 

Anyway, I spose. I may try and run Hope. It turns out my groin is better, but not 100%.  We'll see.

Laterzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.           :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeeeeeee.         :)))

This Kid Slept.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I slept for 7 hours and 40 minutes last night. Usually I assume I'll see around 6-1/2 hours so I slept. I was tired yesterday. My legs were fatigued yesterday after work. I don't know why that would be, unless limping fucks you up like that. My groin is probably almost 100% now. At my age I should probably stretch. I did grind through my workout yesterday. Me not wanting to miss it > me not wanting to do  it. MWF is the best for me, and I like to keep it at that. I even did the home part of the workout,  which to me is equally important as the other part. I feel they both work in tandem.

I did chill for a bit,  and made dinner. Stupid easy meal. Kielbasa, and those boxed scalloped potatoes. Plus I had fresh bread from the bakery. That's good eating. So simple, and so good. Perhaps not the best nutrition wise, but dinner is to be enjoyed.

Come to think of it I feel like I ate like shit yesterday. It was a strange day. I didn't drink as much water as usual. I only ate one of my sandwiches. Maybe I didn't eat as bad as I thought. I kept thinking about eating though. Like maybe I'll have a pig in a blanket. Never did. Maybe I'll have a donut. Never did. Maybe I'll try a cookie. Never did. Okay, I definitely thought about not eating good yesterday. I thought about eating shit yesterday,  even though my appetite wasn't very big. Kept thinking about eating for the heck of it. I wonder if people struggle with that. I realize I don't cuz yesterday was strange.

It is raining this morning so Hope and I won't be going before work. I probably could try running today too. Tomorrow for sure.

Yesterday was a full day. Kept going from like 4:00 AM to 5:00 PM. I had dinner,  and I think fell asleep around 7:00 PM. That's probably pretty normal for me.

A day in the life. It didn't really matter all things considered did it. I didn't do anything earth shattering. I ended the day tired, and I enjoyed a meal, and I slept. Today will be very much the same. I kinda got it good huh?  Simple pimple.

I start the day with no questions. No day dreams of what a better life would be like. This is my best life. No worries either. I was disappointed with my steps yesterday. Just under 25,000, not 30,000, but I'll get over it.

Laterzzzzzzz.          :)

xoxo.           :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeeeeeee.       :)))

The Magic Scheme.

People can hide in plain sight. Okay, so I don't pay attention to the news too much. In fact if you are a news poster I probably blocked you from my view.  I just read, well skimmed an article in the NYT about the presidents taxes. They pieced together a mind numbing amount of losses from the 80s and 90s. For some reason he hides his taxes from view. 

I just figure everyone of his supporters believe he is a great businessman or whatever. I think perhaps he may be more Bernie Madoff than anything else.

How many spinsters are out there?  Every single one of your self help books are fraudulent. Anyone who says they have keys to help making you successful is blowing wind up your ass.

A key to being successful is one, not being mad. Those of you who pay attention to the news are magnificent failures to date. Our current President being one.

A lot of magic being thrown around as truth out there. Making love, my soul mate. The perfect one for me. Whatever. I get we want something magical to summarize our lives. I find the World is all about hiding. We hide all our flaws, and try to paint rosy pictures about our lives.

The key to happiness is how you feel on the inside. I know we all feel if we had a million dollars cash we'd be happy,  but money doesn't change our insides.

If you had enough money you didn't have to work, what the fuck would you do?  I have one day off/week, and I run out of things to do. Yesterday I worked a long day. My groin was sore,  and I plodded on for close to 30,000 steps. I was sore from throwing the frisbee. You know how you are so sore you just want to sleep?  I came home, and chilled for an hour, and went and bought pork chops. It was a fulfilling day, because I gave it my all I think.

I wasn't unlocking secret keys to the universe to help make me rich. I went out. I had a day, I had a meal, and I slept.

Can you imagine living a life where there are no what ifs?  Your story will be told. It's the story you were here to make. Your tax returns will not change that one bit. Your story is preordained to be told. If you have sexual fantasies that won't change it, if you have whatever. Nothing will change the story that will be told.

The secret to life is to not have stress. Most stress is probably related to future events. Bills becoming due,  deadlines, money coming in, holidays,  birthday parties,  whatever.

My future is certain. Not financially,  cuz there is no such thing. A change in tariffs is an unknown. A dow Jones value which is ridiculously high compared to earnings would be a dangerous thing.

My story will be told. I am in a good spot. You cannot  change one thing about how my future plays out.

Remember my dream where I won the race?  I was like the one sperm who beat everyone to get in the egg. I went into like a winners baby crib lifted up above others. I was alone,  but wasn't supposed to be. I had gone where no one else can go. Untouchable. I entered the garden of Eden.  Eden is surrounded by 4 great swords.  The sword you cannot beat. It is stronger than you. Also it doesn't lead the way. He who lives by the sword...

I am untouchable. The secret of my success is being assured. It is in knowing stuff. It is in having no fear of the future. It is also being content in living my simple life.

I am not who I would have been if I went the path of me. You are on the path of you. One coin in the end does not differentiate itself from another. The 6' under makes us all worth about the same. Not much.

I am content though. Secure. Assured of my ways, and my future. You know what?   I don't feel sadness ever I don't think either.

Your self help books lie. There are no secrets to the universe. There is just a turn. Away from the story you want to make,  to the story you are actually here to make.

Maybe it's scary. I definitely played the fool along the way, but you've never felt security like me. Never been so assured. I was tested. But was obedient. Fear helped. The one time I didn't have fear was outside the garbage room at Bromenn Healthcare. I just found out I was as far away as the scribes and Pharisees. A hypocrite although I suffered to get where I was. I could have been mad,  and maybe I was. I was told to go solo. I didn't rebel,  because my heart decided to just not be dumb. My heart was strengthened to not rebel.

So into the wilderness I went. Trump went on his way to lose millions and billions of dollars.  I found exactly what I wanted all along. A purpose. Security.

The answer was basically not my will. It seems like a little thing,  but if you are looking at a destiny of suffering putting your trust in someone but your wishes is terrifying. 

I'll go there once again. With help I will overcome, and be who I wanted all along I guess. The best a person can be. One with understanding who actually can put the sword to use. I'd be like Thor in a way. A useless sword until one can actually yield it.

Really though I am just happy as I am. My story will play out. That's fine, but it is easy being me now.

It seems silly churches collect money right?  It's an easy way to tell an establishment that uses false teachers. Tithing is about coins,  but the spiritual coin is not a Earthly currency. When I made 10 coins I unknowingly gave up one of my 10. 10%  that was my tithe.  It wasn't made in Early coins.

It's like on the 7th day he rested right. Well we haven't yet reached the 7th day. The law is spiritual,  and you need to be mostly spirit to see it. Even so, without understanding the sword does not help.

Anyway what was I writing about?  

Lol.    :)

Laterzzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.           :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeeeeee.      :)))

You Can Always Find Muscles You Don't Use.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. So on Friday I went frisbee golfing. A 52 year old guy chucking a frisbee as hard has he can for a few hours. Holy Hell was I sore. I thought the terrain messed with some groin muscles too. I practiced throwing the discs twice yesterday. At a park by my house. It turns out the groin muscles were sore from how I throw the disc. Anyway I started working my upper body about a year ago. I wanted yo use more muscles than just my legs. Turns out you can always find muscles you don't use a lot.

Yesterday was my day off. I had a few things to do, but not much. Plus the day was sandwiched with rain. I did try to blog  yesterday, but it was dumb. A deleted entry. I will probably struggle to get 300 entries in this year. How did I ever before?  Saturdays will be hard for me to blog,  cuz I work at 5:00 AM. Also I pretty much sleep as late as I can. Currently on Sunday  I go I  at 6:00 AM to work a couple hours, and then go back at 4:00 PM. At max that gives me 5 days/ week to blog,  and yesterday was dumb so I deleted. Not that it matters in anyway. It's not like I am trying to go back who I was before. I am fine as I am. I probably was back then too.  

I had a dream last night. Right before I woke up for good actually. I was having a discussion with who I believe was a mass murderer or something. In my dream state I was not as strong and confident as in my awake state. That doesn't really mean anything, but something I noticed.

Yesterday as far as days go was pretty uneventful. It wasn't my favorite day off. I guess cuz I ran out of things to do.

So anyway I hazz blog and I use it. Let people know my day to day. My day to day is pretty insignificant. We all have that in common. Just not sure if all of us know it. We have time, and it needs to be filled. I fill mine with work,  eat, and sleep. A day off like yesterday is pretty exciting all things considered,  but in the end it's hard to fill the time.

I like my simplistic weeks. Stay busy with labor, and the rest of the time is mine. This works out good for me. Now that I am awake I am excited to start my day. 

The grass always looks green in different areas. Perhaps my grass looks green to you. My house is paid for, I make good for me money in jobs I like. My grass is green, not literally. I am trying to kill my front grass to start all over. It is green though cuz of my inside. I enjoy the way I live.  Content as it were, because that is how I feel.

Even if I was poor I would still enjoy my evening meal. Even if it was just spaghetti in Prego sauce. My life is simple. Impossibly simple,  cuz I couldn't in a million years make it this way.

Everyone seeks for answers.  I found them. The secret to life as it goes. It isn't 42, it is what I have. It started with a turn, and an impossible journey. A journey through the World as It were. You learn of humans and beasts.  They aren't too different when all is said and done. Humans just dress shit up more. They use currency too which may seem developed,  but probably just made us worse for it.

It's not a beautiful World. It's a brutal World,  and a content heart does not come from this World. It's not found in the accumulation of currency either. I found contentment at the end of my struggle. My struggle was my journey in finding the truth. We can't hide in fabulousness.   Someone always knows the truth. I for one do.

Ya ain't created the best life.  It's not in your power.

Anyways I gotta take Hope. It's hard for me on the weekends. 

Laterzzzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.            :)

xxoo.         :)

Byeeeeeee.      :)))

A Brand New Start.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was pretty good. Work was non stop. I had to stop by the grocery store for TP, and those Bob Evans mashed potatoes which are ridiculously good. Better than I can make even. Pretty sure they put crack in them. Then I had nothing really, and that's what I did. Lisa was doing some crafty shit listening to music, and I had a couple drinks relaxing listening to tunes. It was pretty relaxing.

I can be so ridiculous I crack myself up. Outside of that not much. Today we are playing frisbee golf, which I am excited about. Another busy day. Work, workout,  frisbee golf. I'll have to take Hope after this too.

Sometimes on a day like yesterday I sleep,  wake up recharged, and feel like I have a brand new start. Yesterday is over, and today is a new day to be me. I said some foolish things yesterday,  but I did say live with no regrets. That is how I feel. I have no regrets. Everyday is a brand new day for me to just be me.

I think a problem with people is you'll find they aren't content. Who do you blame for that?  Dirty dishes? Wet towels on the floor?  I bet people think they would be content if only this or that would happen. It might be money, or better tendencies from someone you live with or whatever. A content heart you cannot create. Discontentnent comes from within you. It's not another person's fault. Save the arguments. Your less than fulfilled self has only to do with something in your internals.

Your internals you do not control. I can't even imagine how most of you think. Too far removed. I know blame probably gets falsely put in wrong areas.

The best life you cannot create, cuz the best you you cannot make. The happiest you, can only come from something out of your power.

Being a part of this World won't help you, and you are powerless to not be. The World does not lead to contentment. Your insides cannot take you there either. We'd need a whole new you.

How do you suppose we do that? 

If only someone would have blogged about such stuff. The fact of the matter is I did blog about such stuff, but everyone went out anyway to create their best life. How did that work out for you? 

Anyway I spose.

Yesterday was fun.  Even if I am ridiculous. :)

Laterzzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.           :)

xxoo.         :)

Byeeeeeeee.        :)))

Easy Like Thursday Mooo🎵🎶oor🎵🎶ning

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was okay. We worked a full day, I got my workout in, picked up a prescription,  and made dinner. I ran the robot,  threw some dishes in the dishwasher,  took the garbage out. You know just your basic day. Watched a show, fell asleep at some point, and then went to bed when I woke up.

Today will be a day. It's s non workout day, so I have a lot of time. I have to check the weather,  yesterday there was rain in the forecast for the afternoon.  I really don't have much on my mind. Another day down, and another started.

I think toward my day today, and there really isn't anything too stressful on my mind. What new?  Today is just going to be another day in my life.

See this is what I was talking about yesterday. Sometimes what I write is just stupid. I never know though. I did a rough count the other day, and I tallied ~2300 entries in just this blog. That's a lot of days getting up,  and writing whatever pops up in my mind. I never go back and read anything, so I don't remember what I even wrote.

It don't matter anyway. It's not like it's a part of my legacy or anything. There are no legacies. We all end up 6' under, and we won't be worrying about legacies at that point. Contrary to how our hearts feel, we aren't important. Our lives are not some remarkable thing. People really are enslaved to the way of the World, unless they go the path of overcoming.

The World adds a lot of stress. You have to be politically correct, say the right things,  act the right way etc...  You are under pressure to be happy. You want to have fun, but sometimes fun isn't exactly the right thing to do.

Some people have to raise kids, have meetings, plan for the future. Pay bills,  plan for bills,  hope more money is coming in than going  out.

For me,  I just am. I do as I feel. It's just I don't feel like doing anything dramatic. I am happy with my simple life. You have no idea. I am free from much of the stress inherent from just living. My heart isn't tied to the stresses of the World. It's separate from it.  I don't really know how to explain it. You cannot even really get a minor glimpse of what it's like to walk in my shoes. You have no idea. I can walk in your shoes,  and I know things are hard. Into the Wild probably seems like a good idea. Maybe living at Walden Pond, but I found the secret to that. The key is the heart, and that we do not control.

You cannot in a million years be free from the World. It's out of your power. I did go that path, and I am thankful. I cannot help you get to where I am. I used to think you were supposed to be here, but you missed a step. Now I have no idea. The story gets played out. I am not the author. I do not control the ending. I just have the outline, and I know it's good. It already is, and it's not finished.

My heart is strong, which means I can make a unilateral decision on anything, and not worry. All for good helps with that. I don't make unilateral decisions frequently. It's probably not always a good thing for others if I do.

Anyways, I spose.

Today is a day.

Laterzzzzzz.          :)

xoxo.            :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeee.       :)))

A Sleep In Day Cuz Of Weather.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday was a pretty good day. We worked late, which was fine. Lisa and I went out to dinner. I want to make something, but I have to go to the grocery store to pick stuff up, and I rode my bike yesterday. Today i will not be riding my bike. I also slept in, cuz Hope and I won't be running. A lot of rain the next two days so.

I guess I got out of yesterday what I wanted. I worked,  ran before work,  had a good meal, and I slept good. There isn't much I need in life. Yesterday was just as good of day as any.

On Friday the weather is supposed to turn so I am going to give frisbee golf a try. It's been forever since I played,  and I think it would be a good healthy hobby. You get outside, walk, and have fun. I am pretty excited about it. I think it will be a perfect way to spend some down time.

Other than that not much. Today is a workout day so I have that to do after work. There will be a dinner,  and yeah, my life is pretty predictable.

I saw something yesterday. It said the worst thing of writing is people might read it. I write shit down,  and I  couldn't care less if people read what I put here. I cannot be really critiqued in any way. Mostly because I am right. There is strength in that I guess. I do my thing and no one is going to change that.

I do know stuff,  but none of it really helps you I don't think. I have a thing to do at some point. Timing is not up to me. What I do here, I am not sure what it does. I know blogging is so 2005, but it's what I do. I use to read blogs,  but really few do it anymore, at least that I see. I don't listen to podcasts. Haven't ever listened to one even.

I once wrote if you open up your soul and people remain quiet than they just probably hate you.   :)   I do what I do here. It's simple mostly like my life.  These days a title can be a struggle. Many days I feel like I just write stupid stuff. It don't matter like I say.

I am confident, secure,  and strong. I am these things because I am right. I am accepted. I am not an enemy, and I don't feel like one. I am not ashamed of my imperfection. It's not how I ultimately want to remain, but my path ends in perfection. It won't be fun, but understanding is what I wanted all along. I wanted it for security, but I already have security. I did not know obviously how this story played out. It is a tremendous amount of fear one lives with if the thing they crave most is security. Fear I had, and I knew it was good,  but living with fear is hard. Pretty sure I had to be mostly spirit to endure it. On that note many people will be shocked.

A story will be played out. What I learned last week is all the stories seem impossible. They also use time, because that is how those stories go. They take forever,  and the person in the story perhaps seems to play the fool, until they no longer seem to be the fool.

The wait sure is the wait. I thought this thing would be done a while ago. Remember the dead years were like 20 years too,  so we are talking decades. I knew the story was 3 times, but I didn't even know I only did it once, until I did it twice. There was much fear too between those. Now not so much fear... yet. 

I just don't know what the days are like from now til my final thing. My days are pretty easy. 

Anyway.   I spose.

Laterzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.         :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeee.      :)))