My weekly goal is 72 miles of steps. Last week I was 73.5 miles. Mostly on a sore groin. Yesterday was over 13 miles, and 30,000 steps. If I see I passed 30,000 steps it's been a good day. I also got a couple things done outside. I am sure I spent ~ 2 hours doing them. We ordered Pizza Hut for dinner. No one wanted to cook. I barely stayed awake for one episode of its always Sunny in Philly. I started watching it again. From season 1.
I needed a little catch up on sleep. I got just under 7 hours. It was all together at once though, so that's good. It's going to be a long week workwise, but that is fine. If I can keep getting little shit done at home that helps. Already I put the dishes in the dishwasher. Every plate was dirty. That's not my usual routine, but sometimes you just want it done.
Other than that not much. Another day is here. I'll be busy. I'll be active. There will be a meal, and some chill time. Just another day. I don't have to find the keys to the Universe, cuz I guess I already did. My future is certain.
I am not looking for meaning to my life. I don't need acceptance from people. I am confident and strong as I am. I know the value of the life we were born into. Not much. Life is a struggle for all. It's always been people have been surrounded by imperfect people. Getting to the point where one can see their true nature is very very uncommon. We were never taught to look at the truth. We graded on the curve. We separated ourselves with the clothes we wear, and the way our hair is.
Life is thankless. My Dad is 84, and what does he have to.live for? He's 84, and he's living on borrowed time. 84 year olds aren't exactly interesting. You don't really want to hang out with them. He watches a lot of tv. He goes out every day to do stuff. At 84 you really aren't planning for your future.
It's not a sad state it's a dumb state. Pointless. Stupid, people have to endure these types of days. You thought life was this grand thing, but it's dumb. It isn't fabulous in the least. No one is out making this World a better place. There is no such thing. You can't change your end. 6' under is what you cannot labor away.
When your 84 looking back upon your life you'll see it wasn't much to it. You didn't make a mark. I guess I saw that way back when. I saw what life had to offer, so I turned from me, and started on the path actually laid out for me. I had no clue what it would be. As it turns out it was more than I bargained for. When I was living in fear the last thing I would have wanted to do is what I have become. No thank you.
I was trying to escape judgement not go to a place of higher judgement. It would be like sticking hot coals down my shirt for no reason.
I am what I am though. I am fine with it. Confident. Can't imagine how much more I'll have to suffer for it, but I accepted my path. It will be scary I am pretty sure.
Anyway, I am just thinking aloud. Today i have a day as I previously stated. There will be work, activity, and a meal. Thankfully I am not 84 so everything isn't completely dumb about my life. :)
Laterzzzzzzzz. :)
xoxo. :)
xxoo. :)
Byeeeeeeee. :)))
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