What I Can Clearly See.

So yesterday I found out a guy I worked with died. I could clearly see his whole life. Grew up in Holland. Think he was in trouble early on, with gangs,  maybe drugs, definitely alcohol. I met him when that shit was behind him. He was an Asst. Manager of mine in the plumbing dept at the local lumberyard I worked at. He made me better at my job. He also tried to make my job easier. You rarely saw that.  I tried to do the same when I was in that profession. We cover days off, and our days off get covered, so you hope the person doesn't walk into a shit storm. He later got promoted,  and I think he lost a bit of fire.

Anyway he was married had a kid. This was so long ago, cuz I drove to work most days,  and I picked him up, and drove him home when he was promoted, and we worked the same hours. He had some DUI no license problems. He found some sort of religion somewhere, moved,  got divorced at some point. He visited me at the bakery a couple years back, and now he's dead.

Lisa told me I wrote a letter for him so he could get his license back. I don't really remember that,  but I do remember writing letters for various people for various things. I can't remember when and what for,  and the who I did it for.

Yesterday I saw the timeline of his life, and it seemed so pointless.  He wanted to do good, but what even is that?  We ain't making this shithole better. In the end we treat many people like shit, cuz in this life we aren't able to do better.

My Dad is in his final years. His life is as stupid as any. No fucking point to it. In the hierarchy of significance I dare say you didn't climb any higher. One day you'll be dead,  and what was the fucking point? 

There was none. One coin of trillions, and who gives a fuck?  In the end we aren't special,  but you were brought up in a lie. You mattered. You are significant. You are strong, you can do anything. The only thing you'll receive in this life is a stupid timeline, and when it's over we all see clearly it was all made up of vanity. You thought you were so important, and significant,  cuz you had bad eyesight. Ya kinda have to see your timeline if you want to make wise decisions, but you kept only answering stupid questions of where you see yourself in 5 years, as if you knew it all.

Anyways, it sucks he died. No reason for it, but we all eventually find ourselves 6' under having lived a life for no reason. You can blame your parents for that predicament. A night of passion is where we all got our start. I don't know if it was a cigarette or a sandwich which was the next part in our parents timeline as the sperm  entered the egg. 

Anyhoo, I have a day planned today. It won't matter one bit what I did today after I breathed my last. That day hasn't come yet though.

Gotta run.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

A Title To Nowhere.

I have absolutely nothing on my mind. I was just sitting looking, thinking of a title, and I had nothing. I have absolutely no clue if I can write something here. So I figured there is probably a pretty good chance this gets deleted. So a title to nowhere.

Yesterday was a pretty good day all things considered. I am set up for a pretty smooth end of the week. I got everything extra done yesterday, so now I just have normal stuff at work. I got a work out in after work. It rained on me on my way home so no painting outside. I cleaned the rest of the kitchen. I had to make dinner too,  so I went out to get something easy to make.

It was a day over 30,000 steps long, slowly that is becoming rather common. I know how my Mondays are, and for 30,000 to be normal without me even thinking about it is pretty crazy. I picked the right life I guess, or it picked me.

I know on days off and stuff being active isn't really normal. If your job is such where being active isn't normal, then where do people find time? 

I read domething somewhere where our bodies are made to be active. It's how it is best utilized, and I don't think a high enough percentage of jobs, and professions help with that.

The direction of civilization is toward improvement?  I don't think in all things. Video games, cubicles,  tv, and even reading. Everything has us sitting on our ass. My dad drives around doing stuff throughout the day, but he is sedentary. Not wise at his age.

He could work out every day where I work out, and meet people his age, but he didn't. I don't know if it was because it wasn't his idea or what, but that was dumb. As I write this he is going out for a walk.  I also think activity keeps your mind sharp too.

Even so that shit doesn't make us better people. It just means typically we'll be more healthy. Doesn't do shit about our treacherous hearts.

That is a problem too with people. They figure what they do is right, because other people do other things, and we judge them on it. Maybe social media can be advertising as to how great we all are, and we are not. I have yet to meet a Saint in my life, but you'd think the opposite if people had any say in these things. There are no Saints out there.

Who we are is what is on the inside, and we put all our effort into dressing up the outside. I think politically correct,  or I am on the side of societal norms or whatever. Unfortunately I know how people are on the inside,  and that is what matters most. You can't fake that shit either, because it all is transparent to me.

Anyway, I gotta run. I didn't even have to delete.

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

It Was A Million Degrees Yesterday.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had to drive yesterday, cuz it started raining before I left for work. My truck was like a Zillion degrees inside when I got out of work. I did not want to go home, cuz I had nothing I wanted to do. I went and picked up lotion I've been meaning to do. I decided to check out a little bar that was close to my house. It's been open for two years, and I accidentally just found out about it.

I think if I go out for a beer I'll go there from now on. They don't have any stupid tv lottery games, and I think I pretty much despise all people who play that game. The other place by my house I seem to not really like a lot of people who frequent there I guess.

It seems going out for a beer after work is a complete waste of time all things considered, but it was like a Million degrees yesterday.  I wasn't going to do anything.

We got our quote for gutters. It will be less than $800 so we will get them installed. Oh, I also got my free $300 from the checking account I opened. Also, I have a short Mexican guy who lives across the street from us. He also owns a house in San Antonio, so he is going to jot  down a few places to check out, including the best Mexican restaurant in S.A. 

There really was not much more going on yesterday. I ran in the morning before the rain, and today is a workout day, so I got stuff to do. Also it won't be a Million degrees today. I can find stuff to keep me busy.

On a day like this it is good to be alive,  cuz I got stuff to do. I'll stay busy, and eventually there will be a meal.

Life kinda sucks if it is too hot out. Talk about not wanting to do nothing. Who wants to live in A.C. 24/7? 

Anyway, I guess I better get going. I have a day I have to start. I think it should be okay. I'll check the weather first. 

Gotta run.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

A Pretty Lazy Day.

Good morning. How's it going?  So yesterday I had a pretty lazy day. I worked out in the morning, and then basically watched Netflix movies the rest of the day. I did make a Foccaccia bread, which came out pretty good. It's easy to make, but you have to make a sponge, let it sit for hours. Then make your dough let it sit for an hour. Form your bread, cook, and let it cool for a bit. Not something you want to fuck with often. It was good. Basically it came out like a pizza bread. I put tomatoes,  spices,  cheese etc...

Really I didn't feel guilty having a lazy day. I don't remember the last time I had one.  It is one of the reasons I like to work most days. If I am going to be lazy I might as well work. So far I don't recall having many/any this year. I think it just being hot outside convinced me to just chill.

It is Tuesday now, back to my routine so all should be fine. Oh my workout went pretty well. I am not sore today, so my muscles are getting used to it. That means I can probably add stuff. When you start, at least for me, you want to get to the point where you dont get too sore.

Other than that not much. Life goes on. Another day done, and another one begins. No big plans for me. I have no clue what to do for dinner. No clue what I'll do after work. I'll figure something out. I do have stuff to do.

Hmmm, I guess I don't really have much on my mind.  I sometimes look inside my heart,  and it is surprising sometimes how much I don't give a shit. People have lives. Bad things happen,  and maybe we all are that way. Do you see shit from people you know, and think that isn't my concern. It's just something I've seen about myself. A lot of don't give a fuck is inside me. Like maybe I can see the bad parts of people,  the ugly less than perfect stuff that maybe they can't.

Maybe people think they are Saints, and I know the truth,  and that makes me cold. That which isn't true is not my friend.  Life is such too I guess where we have to cling to some falsehood,  because otherwise we have nothing. Our lives,  and ourselves don't really matter outside of some story we pretend to be true.

Heck, I don't really matter deep down at all, it's just I have a story to finish. My reason for being here. I was willing to take the trip of truth, not knowing that is what I was doing. In taking this trip I learned the insignificance of me. My heart is good though. More than happy to accept this. I am fine doing what I must do too. Go where one gets understanding.  It won't be a fun trip, but I knew decades ago I had to take it. I was in it for security I guess, cuz I lived a Summer of complete terror. Security I already have, which I didn't know was possible.  Now I just have to do what my story asked from the beginning. My heart is willing, cuz it is in good hands. Now I just do my day to day, cuz the timing of things happening in my story was never up to me. As a matter of fact I didn't even know what I was doing til after the fact.

In a World where people attempt to map out their future,  my map comes from elsewhere. Not from me. It's the path I chose.

Anyhoo, 

Gotta run. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Memo From A Future Colony.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had a pretty normal weekend. I worked, saw a movie, listened to a book, and may finish reading another one today. Same as last week?  Last week on Monday I helped my brother move some stuff, and I got this huge t.v.  today I don't really have anything planned. I'll have to hit the gym soon, but that's all that is on the agenda.

Labor day is this weekend, so the official end of Summer. Of course it is supposed to be a million degrees today. Remember last year when I took like 6 days off total the whole year?  Ha!!  I still liked it, and I still had fun. I don't feel I ever wasted a day either. Meaning I had time to chill and whatever.

I haven't come a long way. I haven't made huge progress in anything. I'd say I am the same today as last year. I don't feel any different. My Uncle's estate is finished,  so my house is paid off. We upgraded basically everything we wanted to, or will by this Autumn.

We dont go out to eat more than before. Eating out is expensive. Eating a meal at home is more than fine with me, and eating out occasionally is the way I still like it. I don't feel like anything has really changed.

We are going on a short getaway, which we may not have budgeted for,  or budgeted successfully for.   :)

Life is just filled with day to day basically. Money doesn't change that.  I guess the secret to life is be happy with what you do. Unfortunately that isn't as easy as it seems. For you to be happy your heart has to be happy, and as I suggest you have no control over your heart. Just take a week, and diagnose all your thoughts for that week. I suspect three is a lot of things not perfect in your week. Maybe things you want to change. Maybe people you want to change, maybe circumstances. My guess is many blame other things for imperfections in their life.

Most noble deeds come from a good heart. Patience, understanding,  etc...   understanding I do not have, and that was  the goal all along. Understanding comes when one is transformed into the best one can be. There is knowledge wisdom, and understanding.

Anyway life is not mastered by anyone. As a matter of fact you are not even the master of your own heart. Also you have no idea what is in another person's heart, you may not even know what is in yours,  and why.

We people are quite the creature. We hide behind clothes,  and groups,  societal norms, and any number of things. If you could strip everything that makes you up, you will not find perfection.

You can't play that part honestly. As I suggested before being better than Hitler doesn't mean shit. Why is perfection out of your reach?  What is your flaw (s)

Anyhoo,  I guess I'll start my day.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Best Laid Plans.

It's very rare my days end up as planned. You never really know if you will leave work tired, and ditch so called intended plans.

On that note yesterday went pretty good. I have all my tomatoes de-skinned,  and cored.  Cucumber/pickles sat overnight in salt water. It's all done except the canning, which I can do today. I'll probably  have one more batch of tomatoes later, and then the season is done.

Today should be a pretty okay day all things considered. It's a run day, workout day, and my canning stuff.  Other than that not much. Pretty much just another day in the life. I'll probably try and see that  Meg movie after work tomorrow.  I have to go shopping for some canning stuff today, so I might pick up some stuff for dinners. August is coming to an end so we are approaching one month away from vacation. I just plan on having fun, and not worry about spending too much money.

I've been thinking about getting a passport,  cuz maybe in February we may want to go to Cancun for a few days to get away from the cold for a bit. That's not set in stone,  but just a thought that's been in my mind.

Other than that not much. It's always giid to have a productive day, and outside of Tuesday I am doing pretty good. I worked out on Wednesday, and wasn't crushingly sore yesterday, so my muscles are getting used to my routine. My routine so far isn't hard really,  but it isn't easy either. I really am just trying to use muscles I may not otherwise use in my day to day.

I don't want to be a bodybuilder or anything like that. I don't need to see huge gains in strength, although I suppose in the first 6 months I may see just that. I really plan on keeping it simply a little challenging.

I suspect the routine is the important part. Stay at it. Don't do it for like a month and quit. I paid for a whole year, so I don't see that happening.

I don't really have anything today, so I'll stop here I guess.

Today should be a day. I'll run after my coffee.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Nothing To See Here.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was pretty good as far as productivity goes. I ran before work, biked to the gym after work,  and got a bit of a workout in. I cut the grass, and pulled plants,  and weeds, and put it in our yard bin. Plants and weeds is just getting an early start on Autumn stuff. My watch had me over 15 miles just by living.

That was about it. I had time to relax,  and we went out for pizza. A thin, and greasy pizza. It's all they make this thin crust,  and it is awesome. A pretty good day I guess. Today, I have to work on canning.  I am going to end up with a lot more pickles. I did pull my cucumber plants though,  so it is done.   Just have tomatoes left,  and I don't think it will be a ton more,  but still a pretty significant amount.

A Day in the life as they all are.  The place  I go work out is for people over 50, and most of the people are over 60 is my guess. I don't particularly feel very many are in very good shape. I feel very lucky  how my life shaped up. I am very active just through work. Typically I'll have 10 miles in any day just by living. Besides my Monday off. I suspect my jobs  always had me pretty active.

Really what happened in my life is my heart was made to be content in what I do. Content in my days. I didn't map out some perfect life, and you'll find that being the case for yourself. All avenues will lead you not having a content heart. It's how life is, and it is really what we search for. One mistake people make is thinking previous generations found this easy. They didn't. Life wasn't better or easier earlier in a time when you weren't here. It may have been a bit different,  but the people were the same. Living with hearts that weren't content.

Lives are imperfect,  and lived with imperfect people. Conditions in society aren't perfect,  and people cannot construct such a thing.

Life will surely disappoint, and it is up to you to find the best,  and only good route.

It seems simple enough, but we are all wrong to start with. We think we are remarkable creatures and we aren't. We think we are able to out of thin air create a perfect life. A human is filled with many many false assumptions just by being born here and growing up.

The secret to my life is my heart. The day I gave up long ago is the day it was taken. I definitely am not who I would have been if I stayed on the path of me way back when. Now I have all the protection,  and assuredness one could want. I didn't create this. I just was willing to go this route.

As low as it made me, and how far it took me away, it definitely was worth it. I still haven't even got what I wanted in the first place. That happens later. Quite a story,  and I had no clue.

Even still I made false assumptions along the way. Remember I thought I was like a butterfly. Just here for a short while after my ugly beginning, but that was years ago.

These years have been a gift I had no clue to. It's pretty sweet.

Anyhoo, gotta go.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Maybe I Was Under The Weather?

I didn't really think of it, but I found out yesterday someone was sick at work,  and this weekend I didn't really have all the energy I usually do. Maybe I too was a bit under the weather?  I can't say for sure. Maybe my body was fighting a bug or something.

On Monday I got a pretty good workout in. I was so sore yesterday. Still a bit sore today.  I came home. And watched Star Trek movies on Starz when I got home. There was a marathon on, and I just wanted to relax. My brother didn't want my Uncle's 65" curved tv, so now I have it. It is pretty ridiculous. I looked up prices on them,  and they aren't crazy expensive anymore. My uncle bought his new for like $3000. Today they appear to be half that price. I got it for free less the $200 Lisa spent on a table to hold it. Like I said it's ridiculous.

Our, what I thought was a big tv, is now in our little room. That too looks pretty ridiculous.

I have a fuck ton of tomatoes,  and more pickles. I'll be canning the next couple of days. Hope to get everything canned by Friday. I have to cut the grass, and pull some plants. I'll probably ride my bike after work to get a workout in.  I am a little sore, but I think I can work through it. Active recovery like. As I start getting in shape I'll be able to add more to my routine. Have to get my muscles used to the routine. I am pretty excited about it though. At 52 I can still get in pretty good shape.  Also obviously using all the muscles in your body is better than just using some.

So really life goes on. Life is busy, and I have plenty to do. I feel pretty normal now, meaning I am ready, and excited to start the day. I'll take Hope for a run, and try to get into work early.

It's not really a day of opportunities, but more like a day of having a pretty good routine. I am not out to change the World, just living out my days.  It's pretty simple where I stand.

Anyway, enough of this blabber.

Gotta run.

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

I Am So Lame

Good morning. How's it going?  I guess I am fine. I am starting my day off. I am having a cup of coffee, and then I have a shit ton to do. So, Sunday I can sleep in as late as I want. Saturday then I can stay up as late as I want. My bil had a cookout. There were drinks, and food, but I couldn't stay up past 8:00 PM. So lame. I had a drink, and two beers,  and I couldn't stomach having anything else.

On the bright side I did listen to another book this weekend, finished reading one, and picked up the next in the series at the library. I saw a movie too.

I have a bunch of shit to do today, and I don't even know what. I really need to make a list. Some days I guess it seems like life is out of control.

I guess it's okay though. All of a sudden in my mind the day is shaping up. A semblance of a to do list is forming in my head.

Relax, breathe,  and realize I got nothing to worry about. As I start to wake up my heart starts beating. My energy is completely restored,  and I feel I can operate at 1000% efficiency.  I've been me long enough though,  eventually the day draws down,  I start to tire,  and it is time to relax. Unless of course I have some big project,  then I can power through. Typically I have no big project going on.

So, I am ready to start my day I guess. I slept til like 6:00 AM, and worked last night til 11:00 PM. First off I think I'll shower,  head to the gym, and go from there.

See already my day is shaping up. I am up early, I have stuff to do, and I am excited about getting this day started.

That's how you do Monday I guess.

Gotta run

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

My Rocking Friday Night.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I don't normally blog on this day, but I am up early enough. Although I start an hour earlier on Saturday, I usually can sleep a little later. Mostly,  cuz I try to wake up early, and run during the week. I also don't shower before work Saturday,  cuz I mostly work by myself,  and just listen to my book.

I typically go to bed early Saturday too,  like I do most days of the week. I was a little sore from working out the other day, but not horrible. I am going to the gym after work today. It rained yesterday,  so I didn't get much done. I picked around 30 tomatoes however. A pretty good start.

I mostly look forward to working Saturday. I feel pretty good while doing it. I am entertained by listening to a book. I have another series I am starting today. 2 authors I read/listened to like 18 of their books in another series. I am even having coffee before my Saturday job, which I never do. 

I usually eat a lot on Saturday too for some strange reason. It's kinda like a cheat day, except I don't diet. I am at a pretty good weight. Kept this weight for a few years or more too, so I don't need to diet. A lot of times I stop for McDonald's breakfast before Saturdays job, and eat a good lunch around 9:00 AM.

My Saturday is just pretty well mapped out I guess. Kinda like my life in a way. I typically know the durection of my days. I typically know how I will feel when I wake up. I typically know I won't have much to worry about, and I typically know I stand on good ground. In other words as I stand now things are easy.

My Dad had a senior moment yesterday. He got lost again, and I think he lost track of things mentally for a bit. Like memory of everything. I had that talk with him if he loses mobility, there isn't much we can do for him. I see old people at the gym riding a bike, or walking on a treadmill,  or using an elliptical to stay active. To keep use of their legs. My dad has some stupid idea he is going to play handball. (Handball is like racquetball, except the ball is harder, and you use your hands)  his mobility isn't great. He's 83 so all shit eventually stops working I guess, but much is his own fault.  The tv watching car driving lifestyle is not the best.

I wouldn't be surprised if much of our dementia we see in older people is just from tv watching. This is the first generation doing it. I just have no idea how old people ended up in older generations. How has the change in diet affected people? 

As you can probably see, and what I saw close to 30 years ago this World is dirty. There is no clean path,  cuz everything has negatives tied to it. When it came time for me to choose my route I correctly saw there was no good one available. My shiny coin could not be used for any good purpose I could see, but there was a path unbeknownst to me, and I took it. It's pretty good too. I just didn't have a teacher to show me the ropes. I had to do it solo, but with help I done did pretty good. Not from my intelligence,  or sight either. I didn't create my life,  and I am not the author. I do get to live these days though,  and I am happy to do it.

Anyway, I guess I'll get ready for work

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

The Masters From Venice.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I did my first circuit yesterday. I was a bit tired after work, but not horrible. I definitely wanted to get my first day in at the new place. It went pretty good. I am old enough, and smart enough to know you start out slow. I was pretty sure no matter what I'd be sore. The guy who did my orientation gave me  a good list to get started. Weights, and position of seats etc...  I feel it went pretty good. I felt I used my muscles,  and I am not really that sore.  Tomorrow is the final test for that though. It was my 2nd time there,  so I saw some other things to do. It does not take long to get a good routine going either. You don't have to spend a bunch of time to get a workout in.  All in all a positive experience. I use my legs all the time, so I don't do anything with legs.

Other than that not much. Lisa went out after dinner to get some stuff for a project,  my Dad went to a movie. It was 7:00, so I went to bed. That's how I like to end my days. Going to bed early.

Today, I have no big plans. I may cut the grass that looks like complete shit. I have to pick tomatoes. I still have some painting to do. We have a guy coming out to give us a quote to put seamless gutters on. I have enough stuff to keep me busy. I definitely took a break from outside work.

Days come,  and days go. It is still warm outside, so the Lake is warm, so hopefully a mild Autumn. There really is nothing on my mind. Nothing too terribly pressing or important going on with me. I have this silly blog, and I don't have to market or advertise myself in anyway. There is no danger I can get myself in any trouble just by being myself here. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I don't have anyone in the World I'd like to be like, or emulate. I'd rather just be myself, and since I am farther along, and in a pretty good position I would not want to be in anyone else's shoes. Mine are the best ones I know.

I don't know the inside of people too well, but I can take guesses I spose. I know what a life is like when it is just you the way you've always been. We act in ways we don't always control. Our hearts are a part of us, but it goes it's own way. We cannot control it.

That's weird huh? 

Anyway, I am going to take Hope. Maybe for a short run again. I originally thought I would walk her today,  but I guess I can do a short run.

Gotta go.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Tales From Edinborough.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. So yesterday I had a birthday. I honestly could give 2 shits about it. As I mentioned earlier though 60 is now on my radar. That seems ridiculous. 40-50 flies by, and 2 years in your 50s, and you realize 60 approaches. 60 is for old people,  not me.

I've been taking steps to keep me healthy. I have more of an eating plan. I am bringing my lunch to work. Just a couple sandwiches, and fruit. I can always eat soup, and grab a sandwich at work if I want, but I want a plan. If I am running before work, then at some point early I'll be ridiculously hungry. Instead of a pig in the blanket, I can eat a sandwich. I'll have various pieces of fruit throughout the day too.

Over the last couple years if I drink alcohol I drink less.  I am the type of person who can drink with very few of the side effects. I rarely get hungover. Years probably. I have not had a headache in years either. I just never get them. I take a baby aspirin every day for the health benefits, other than that I may not take an aspirin otherwise the whole year.

I am all set up at Evergreen Commons to start resistance training. I figure I'll be well rounded now. My core will get exercise,  and I walk a ton by living,  and run, and bike too. So, I have a plan,  and it is pretty exciting for me. Just having an idea of how my day to day will unfold. I picked up my bike yesterday,  so that is all set. 2 days, and I miss biking to work already.

Other than that not much. Another day down,  and another one begins. It's my wife's birthday today. She doesn't really give a shit about that either.

So, as you can see my day to day does not amount to much. It's fine by me though. It's easy. Not a lot for me to stress about. Not much for me to be angry about. I have no idea how other people are. I just know how I am I guess.

As you can see, I do not have much again. I'll hit publish all the same. I did add up my "wait" blog posts. 2094 I think.   Hahaha.  That's ridiculous. I think for a nice birthday present to me you should read all 2094 posts or whatever today.  Thanks.   :)

Gotta run.   :)

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

So Far I Haven't Been Caught In The Rain.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I had a couple errands to run yesterday, but I was going to use my bike. I remembered last time I did errands my rear tire seemed a bit low,  so I was going to air it up. It has those skinny stem things, which I didn't know. I haven't had to air up my tires on this bike yet. I grabbed an adapter from my road bike, and began airing it up. The whole stem came out, and my tire was flat. :)

Anyway I drove to work,  and brought my bike in to the shop. I am having them put my fenders on too that have been sitting in the shop since I bought the bike in like April. The last day I worked on the North side is the last time I was in the area with my bike, so basically my misfortune means I finally get my fenders put on. It's a commute bike, so just in case I  ever get caught in the rain.

Since I drove, and had errands to do anyway, I picked up stuff for lasagna,  and that was for dinner. It hit the spot too.

So that was my day. Everything turned up roses so to speak. Today, I do my orientation for the weight room, and I am pretty excited about that. I have somewhere to go after work in my effort to become more healthy.

Kids are going back to school in a week or so. Lives start changing over to a new routine.  I saw a kid riding a motorized scooter,  and I had mild satisfaction knowing his Summer was at the end. Also I figured motorized toys are probably not the best thing for kids. This kid was skinny, so it didn't seem to currently be affecting him. Also he was outside, not playing video games inside. I suspect many kids spend their time doing that.

I sometimes wonder how people can spend a whole Summer without getting any color. A lot of time indoors. What is there to do indoors?  Watch tv, and play video games I guess.

Anyways, not much going on with me. Another day in the life. Another day waking up without a care in the World. I've been in a pretty good routine of waking up at my early alarm. My quads were fatigued yesterday for some reason, but I feel recovered,  so I guess if I hurry with my coffee, I can get a run in.

What a dumb update.

It happens.

Have fun.  :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

So, I Had A Day Off.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had a day off, and pleasantly I didn't have much to do. I figured I better get our vacation settled. We were going to go through a travel agent,  then I decided to go through Expedia. I guess I didn't care if I got the best deal in the history of the World. Just get plane tickets, hotel, and car. We are going for 4 nights to San Antonio. Just do touristy stuff.  Basically just see a city I've never seen before.

I went to get my tires rotated, and get a couple fixed that had slow leaks. I ended up with 4 new tires. It was an expensive day. I didn't need 4 new tires, but I thought piece of mind. I don't even put 3000 miles  on my vehicle/year, so they'll last me perhaps the rest of my life.

Basically,  I had a day off. I got shit done, and now I am ready to start another week. I am well rested to it seems. I woke up way before my alarm,  and of course fell asleep again before it went off. Sometimes I am tired at that stage,  but I wasn't too bad, so up I am, and I can get a run in.

Other than that not much. Just living out my boring old life. No complaints. My life isn't very busy outside of work,  and I like it that way.  I don't have a ton to do. I don't feel I am even interested in much. Just enjoy my day to day I guess. Not many people blog much, which is fine. I am sure people's lives are just as boring as mine.

None of us are doing anything significant. We all are just living out our days. My life,  and lifestyle have very little stress. If ever I had any burdens they've been taken away. Back in the beginning of my journey things that make people's lives harder had no interest to me. These days I don't even know how people afford kids. How much time does that take up?

I suspect people without means continue to have kids too. I don't particularly think life gets easier,  and I don't particularly think life was ever easy in the first place. People eventually need direction,  and there never were people who knew how to give "correct" direction.

Back in my beginning when fear was my constant companion I was terrified of judgement. Whatever makes less judgement seemed the best course. So, maybe I thought if I never said anything again, that would be a good start.

Remember what I said though,  and what the turn is. If there is some reason I am here let me do that instead of anything else. Hidden in that is if there is some reason I am here... meaning I have no idea. Ideally I'd like the easiest route, but mine wasn't,  and for a reason. Also fear taught me I didn't like judgement,  so I surely would not want to be a teacher,  cuz they get judged harsher.

The reason I am here is not exactly what I asked for, but I didn't have any vision. Security came after overcoming the second time, so I no longer had to be afraid. I am confident, secure, and assured of my ways. People need direction, and that is what this blog is for.

I can't tell how this works, but I suspect people cannot accept the truth. Hearts were hardened, and everyone went their own way. That is fine in a way, cuz I am tied to my purpose. It is a bond stronger than anything else. Those who are with me are with me, and those who aren't aren't. Your choice, and it does not matter to me.

My heart is not perfect,  and this vessel is not the finished product, but with help I still can do good.  Perfection is possible,  and that is my path,  but I can do good labor before that. I didn't know that was possible either. A promise all for good goes a long way.

I am definitely not a Saint, and righteousness isn't reckoned as such, cuz none of us are. It's a different path that leads to that,  and we are tied down by bad teaching, and holding onto false truths. The truth is the hardest thing you'll ever do, because in the truth you'll find out you are wrong. A hard thing for us to accept, cuz it means your life to this point doesn't even really matter. One coin out of trillions and trillions before you.

I was strong enough early on to accept the truth. The wilderness taught me a lot, and mostly that the World is fake, and pretty much our lives. We all at one point are a product of the World, and false teachers. Our hearts don't know any better either.

So my job is pretty much impossible,  but I am a vessel being used for a purpose. I can do it with confidence and strength too, because of my help.

Anyhoo,

Gotta run.

Have fun.  :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Time Creeps Up On You.

This morning it just occurred to me that pretty soon I'll be 8 years from 60. Wow!!  Time does catch up with you. I joined a place called Evergreen Commons not to far from my work,  but farther away from my house. It is for people 50, and over. They have free weights, machines, bikes,  treadmills, and a pool. I mostly am interested in resistance training, although if the weather is bad, I can use the treadmill. It gives me something to do after work, and maybe I can see what type of shape I can get in.

In my opinion 40 ain't nothing, and 50 ain't nothing, but when you first see 60 on the horizon, then that to me is kinda a big deal. I go Wednesday for my weight room orientation, and then I'll have a plan, or one will evolve. Fall approaches too, so there isn't a ton to do after work anyway.

I saw a movie after work yesterday. Slender Man. It was pretty awful,  but what are you going to do on a Saturday afternoon?  I then went shopping. I picked up stuff for lunches,  some popsicles, and stuff for dinner. Dinner hit the spot. I started watching the first Iron man, and decided to just go to bed. I think I slept 10 hours, which feels pretty awesome. I get to sleep in tomorrow too, but I haven't really been sleeping great on Sunday nights. Maybe cuz it is out of my routine.

I do have to say though at this point in my life it is exciting to try something new. I am not tied into anything that won't let me try something new. Free to do new things you know?  Freedom is what we want in life, and freedom is not something we can find on our own.  I have two jobs I like,  and time to reinvent myself too so to speak.  

Today, I'll take Hope for a run, and probably finish listening to my book, and read my other one when that's done.

Just a day in the life really. One I am pretty excited about, but I tend to always feel that way I guess.

Gotta run.   :)

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Welp, It Is Friday.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I was tired after work yesterday, so I didn't do much. I helped my brother move some book shelves,  and that's about it. I picked some tomatoes too. 

I really have nothing on my mind. I don't have any big plans this weekend, which is usually the case. I don't even know what I'll do today after work. Life is kinda like that huh?  All this time, and what to do with It?  I guess I do have a couple errands I can run,  now that I think of it. That's the plan. Gotta figure out something for dinner too. So there,  I guess I have a day planned.

Tomorrow I get to listen to another book. I already started it. I liked the first two, and this one seems even better. I think there are only 3 in this series, so then it will be onto other things. I am leaning toward just reading the other series of books, which is what I planned all along anyway.

Other than that not much. There really is nothing going on. Nothing in my little head. I still am the the same as always though. It is different than you,  and you have no idea about how I am. You don't even know it's possible. 

I know how you are, and after all this time maybe I don't. It's dark inside you. You are closed off,  because that is the existence we were born into. Different people have different interests, and outside of me, I don't recall meeting anyone fully content. There is always some issue. Some thing that needs to be done. Some experience to have. Really just a way to feel good all the time I guess. It seems to me a person's natural course of action is to mould events so our hearts are always happy. There is someway we can create that right? 

That is one problem however. Our hearts we don't control. We dont understand our hearts either. Why do we feel one way onetime, and later on don't. Just think of all the divorces. People didn't change all that much the hearts did though. If we could mould our hearts we would mould them to always be happy. Deep down you know that isn't in your cards, so there must be someway to mould the World and your surroundings to make you feel that way.

Really?  You are going to do all that?  What you'll find is we are pretty helpless. The key to us is our heart, and we don't control it. So you need help for a better life. It isn't in your power, and you cannot create it.

The human flaw. We think we are all that, and we are not.   Your not being content should lead you to soul searching. What you want out of life you cannot grab. There are a billion avenues that lead to the same end. Not the one we want. You'll not want to try all billion, and you better start being honest about the one you are on.

You didn't out of malice box yourself into a life that isn't the best one. Everyone is born into it, and we all follow some path somewhere. It is up to you to find the correct one. It's pretty important. All the things that have been done since forever don't mean shit. We haven't done nothing new. You were born into the existence as the multitudes were before you. You do have an opportunity to improve that lot, but the story isn't one you create. You just aren't that smart.

A human is flawed,  but a human thinks they are remarkable. Society has built up walls inside you. Different ones for different people. We all at some point followed false teachers, and some even became ones. Maybe we all have.

I am not a false teacher though, what I say is the truth, but hearts cling to lies. It seems easier or something.

Anyhoo. Gotta run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

My Name is Pejchl, Not Pickle.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. So I canned my cucumber slices yesterday. 8 quarts I made. That is a lot. All the jars sealed, so it went okay. I didn't have traditional pickling spices, so I added some stuff I already had that smelled like a good spice. Among the spices I used red pepper flakes to hopefully give it a kick. I did buy dill seed, and garlic, so of course I had that. I also tried a trick I found on the internet using half vinegar, and half apple cider vinegar to make up my vinegar solution. Also they have these calcium chloride pebbles you add, so you don't have to do the pre soak in salt water. It looks like it will taste good,  but I really have no idea. I think it said to wait a couple weeks before I refrigerate and try one. 8 quarts is a lot of pickles. It's not like tomato sauce where you use a full quart for spaghetti,  or lasagna. Pretty exciting though.

Other than that not much. It was a pretty active day with over 27,000 steps. That seems normal to me, but I do take Mondays off, and it is not uncommon to be nowhere near 10,000 steps. Basically without knowing it I am active. It's just normal day to day stuff, and I don't think about it. Runs are counted in those steps, so that adds to it, but really I do this unconsciously.

I feel this week is another busy week. It seems I got plenty of stuff to keep me busy. Just my pickling expedition took a good amount of time.

Life basically goes on I guess. I don't really have much to worry about. My main job gets deposited into an account that pays our mortgage. I don't have a mortgage, so that amount gets higher and higher. We rarely use that account. I use it if it is the card I pick out. It's the same color as our main account. That is a pretty good problem to have I guess.

Work is fine, I am fine. My heart is just the way it is. Working makes me feel good,  so I like to do it. Life is an endless string of days, so do what makes you feel good I guess. For me that is a good days labor as part of my day. Staying busy, and also relaxing at the end. Wake up every day ready to do it again. I guess I have a pretty good disposition,  and I know I didn't make me this care free. I am a product of my path. I know the anxieties,  questions,  impossible task it is to mold the World and your life into how you "think" it should be.

My way leaves that in other hands. World Shmorld, I couldn't care less. I am content as I am. I will not help shape future events. I am not that arrogant. Having a side causes anger. Sides are dumb. I'll still do my bit, just cuz. That happens with a turn.

Anyhoo,  I basically got nothing,  but you know.

Gotta run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.   :)

I Don't Even Think I Tried.

So, my Doctor stuff is done for a year. I am better today than I was a year ago. I didn't even really try. I think now I may take a more active role in basically my nutrition. My lifestyle is active. I don't carry extra weight. I think I could be a bit more active. I think I could eat a bit better too. I don't eat horribly,  and I am not an overeater,  but maybe just actively seek out eating more fruits and vegetables. By this time next year I could be really really healthy. Everything in my blood work is normal, except triglycerides, and that is most likely due to alcohol consumption. I drank less last year than the year before. Basically drinking less when I drink. I think I can improve upon that too. My one vice.

It's been on my mind to do resistance training again, so I  should do that. As I approach the age of 52, I am glad everything points to a healthy me.

So that is basically good news for me. It may be the New Years phenomenon however,  where you think to make a new start that lasts a week. I think I'll be conscious of trying to improve though. It just makes life easier in the long run.

Other than that not much. Work went pretty good. We got a lot done,  and a good start to the week. Working at a bakery you typically maintain the day to day, and build for the weekend, except the two weeks before Christmas, where you try and produce enough stuff, usually failing. School starts pretty soon, so there may be a little slow down after, and once again after Labor Day.

Fall approaches though,  so then you start doing pumpkin stuff etc...   really though I am just mostly excited about being healthy.  It's a good thing to be.

I am going to can pickles today too for the first time. I have about 12 cucumbers or so, and a full pan of cucumbers in vinegar. I cannot eat 12 cucumbers,  but I can can dill slices,  which I love too. (Can can)?!

Anyhoo, as you can see not much going on with me. I have a little life which I live in a pretty easy way. It really is pretty easy being me. I never look over my shoulder wondering if I made a right or wrong decision along the way. That is one of the great things about being me, and finding this path I am on. All avenues are good. All that I do will be for good. A life like that one needs help to achieve, and that was the blessing I received right before overcoming the first time. I thought I was on my death bed, and I woke up the next day.

I was not deserving of any good thing at all. My heart was not perfect. I received that promise before when I overcame myself. My life was before me. It was mine to make the most out of it,  but I gave up my will. Basically I gave up my coin, which I felt looked pretty shiny, and had a lot of potential. I gave it up for another one, and it really is way more better. Even if it took me 20 some odd years to find out how.

Here I stand now. I am 52, and in the best position a person can be. Assured, and content. Almost 52 anyway. My heart was molded at times to make the correct decisions to keep me on the path. Fear was my friend, cuz fear I needed. Courage I was given at the proper times, so I could do what I was supposed to. I am a oerson who did not make myself. It was a hard path,  cuz I could not see. Worth everything though. Worth more than all the gold and silver one could wish for.

Anyhoo, Hope would like a run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Looking Inside.

So starting last year I started going to the Doctor once/year. They look at blood pressure, and blood, check your breathing etc...  I haven't been to a Doctor for a couple decades before that. My blood pressure runs high, but I think I have that taken care of. They took my blood yesterday, and I think my cholesterol will be fine. Somewhere over the past several years they stopped sticking fingers up your butt. For that reason I don't really feel I get my money's worth going to the Doc,  but whatever. 

Anyways I think for my age I am relatively healthy. I may even try and be healthier. At my age I tend to look at people,  and think about how their lifestyle looks, and what kind of health concerns they may have. 

Nothing too significant in those thoughts though. I get nervous when I go to the Doc,  cuz I know my blood pressure will have a high reading.

This is kinda a dumb update so far. I don't really have much on my mind. I definitely can feel on my inside how different I am from you. I have a tingling that goes from the bottom of my feet through the top of my head. I've had that since going through the eye of the needle. For a short while I was full. Complete security. Since than I've been poor in spirit. Pretty empty. Being persecuted by the worst of the worst while being empty makes empty scary. In the wilderness I didn't particularly feel I was on the right side of being right. As a matter of fact I was scared of my end, cuz I knew where I stood. As far away as possible from being on the right side of being right.

Really me overcoming was accepting that end. Not what I want. God's will. Most of this stuff you cannot understand. You are nowhere near my shoes. You don't know full, and you don't know empty.  Happiness is not achieved in the fake glamour of society. You cannot be happy there cuz it isn't real. Our lives are all fake.

I know all toil in some endeavors, and I know it cannot fulfill you. No matter how hard you try to think to the contrary. You are born into a lie. This World. It is your job to find your way out of the lie, and the odds are against you. The numbers are actually pretty horrible in that regard. Society looked at closely will only show you the stupidity of it all.

I am not a product of upbringing,  schooling, society, or anything. I am a product of a turn. I walked in blindly, and really very very ignorant toward what comes next.

I am here now. Secure. Assured of my ways. Also of no help to you either. You are a product of society,  upbringing etc...  You don't know fear,  and you cannot know our scary truth. I cannot bridge that gap for you.

Your life is built on a lie. The World has you believing in fairy tales, and such stuff. Just cuz people you are associated with think such and such is right doesn't make it so. The question you must ask is what if everything is wrong? 

The scariest answer to that question is the correct one. Everything is wrong. This place is fake, and full of lies. What now?

I made that walk. Here I am now too. Tested, and I overcame. I am secure in a way I did not know possible, and you still are in the middle of society and this World.

You need help to escape, and I cannot help with that.

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

The End Of The Week Is Upon Us.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I've been getting up early a lot this week. Last week it seems I slept in more. Yesterday ended up being what is a pretty regular day for me. I have all these ideas of things I want to do, but it didn't really pan out. Mostly I wanted to cook something good for dinner, but I bike to work most days, and I don't feel like coming home, and leaving again. I may drive today just to run some errands.

My Dad said the most ridiculous thing yesterday. He must not know me at all. At Lisa's work they are selling a '68 Thunderbird for like $8000. I think he wanted me to buy it for $8000 and flip it for $40,000. For one I don't particularly like to drive anywhere. Flipping a car means you must have some interest in cars which I don't. Not to mention the know how needed to work on such car. They must have some show on tv that shows people flipping cars or something.

Turning $8000 into an easy flip for $40,000 might even seem like a good idea, but I already have too much money with nothing to spend it on. What would the point be?  it just seemed pretty ridiculous to me.

Other than that not much. We are in the middle of Summer. The grass looks like shit. I haven't been watering. I have a ton of weeds. My lawn needs a makeover. I got some more cucumbers. I think bugs are eating my squash flowers, cuz I am not getting anymore, and I saw some gross bugs on the plant. Tomatoes are about to explode. I am already getting some.

Life continues on. It's pretty simple where I stand I guess.  I still have shit that needs to get done, but I am sorta relaxing a bit this week. Not doing too much.

I have a book to listen to, which I'll start tomorrow,  and a book to read, which I can start anytime. Shit that can be done around the house. In that regard I have too much to do, and not enough time.  I haven't even seen a movie in forever. I haven't turned on Netflix in forever either.

I will be able to get a run in again today. We really are looking okay today for a pretty good workday. I feel we worked ahead pretty good,  and Monday should be okay for those working Monday. We have another vaca next week. Speaking of--Lisa,  and I have to plan ours.

A day in the life. As easy as my life is, it still is busy. I don't find it terribly stressful though. It's just the day to day. You know I'll always wake up as I am now, and no matter what I'll put in a good days labor, unless on my Monday I do nothing, which doesn't seem likely.

Anyhoo, gotta run. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

A Pretty Strange Existence.

It definitely is strange being me kinda. I never really feel it, but like before I woke up today I realized the difference between you and I. Not that I am better mind you, but definitely different, and much further along. I don't know your story in the least. There is definitely a step you won't have to make, but what it is I don't know. I am given a title, which I think might have already happened way at the beginning of blogging, but in hidden. At some point nothing is hidden anymore, and that will be the end of the current version of me. What this was all about these past 27 years or whatever. Once I knew how this played out.

Until then however I live out my days. Somehow I pretty much wake up like this all the time. Another day with a content heart, gonna have my day, and excited about it. Not cuz I do anything great or anything, but my heart is just okay with my lot.

How you feel on any given day I don't know. I suspect inconsistent. I remember in my college years I always wanted to be in a good mood. Always happy, and always ready to have fun. That's a lot of pressure for one person to carry, and an untenable position.  So many things I didn't know back then. Now I typically feel in a pretty good mood to start the day. I do find when I run early in the morning I am tired after work. Also at some point in the morning I will be famished. I will need food.

Just a little life here. One I am happy to live. I guess in the whole World I've been given one of the best lives to live in History. It wasn't without suffering,  and without great fear, but where I stand now all is fine. The wilderness days are long gone, and the security I seeked I have. Even before my final act, which if you remember I didn't know possible.

The final act will not be pleasant,  and there will be great suffering. I will have walked in the shoes of who I was to get to know anyway. He was my help, and as the story goes dropping everything to follow was the easiest of all things. Overcoming myself was the challenge.

I was thinking of ways this can go wrong, but I remember how I overcame twice so far. It wasn't from the strength and courage of my own heart,  but a strength and courage I was given to overcome. It isn't me doing the work, I was just present when the judges had their way with me.

Remember my promise I received. I will be rescued out of whatever I get myself into. That was cuz I overcame myself. I went the farthest route possible,  cuz in this way more good is done,  although I lived in great fear for a long time. Endured the wilderness, and trust me I could see clearly there was no redeeming quality in me whatsoever.

To this day there still isn't, but my path is fine. It's just good to be me I guess. Not because I am special,  cuz I am not. I just was willing to go this path, and I know my life didn't matter. It's just a small insignificant thing.

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Seems Like Old Times.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I definitely got the proper amount of sleep last night, cuz I am most ready to start my day. I am having a coffee, and I don't think I had one yesterday. No biggie. These days I am more likely to have a cup in the morning. For the heck of it.

Anyhoo, not much going on. We are covering a vaca so we will be busy this week. I felt we got a lot done yesterday,  but I feel I worked as I do normally. We worked a bit late,  but nothing crazy.

I returned my book, and got the next one in the series. Picked up a 4x8' piece of lattice, at the local lumberyard. Just your typical day. Relaxed a bit, had dinner, and crashed. I guess just a pretty okay day. Most of mine are like that I guess.

I just had a weird thought kinda. I can't imagine you trying to figure how to always be "on"  what is the secret?  The secret is it is impossible to always be on. I am typically always on, but I did not make myself this way. A little disconnect between you and I. Like you I figured there was a way with effort, diet, labor,  sacrifice~a mixture of each~that would help us feel "on" all the time.  That simply isn't true.

We are born in a vessel of imperfection. Brought up with tales of happily ever after. Infatuations are strong for the first year or so, and the clouds we walk on simply disappear. Some days we are in a good mood,  and some days bad. I suspect many people may not be excited about waking up, and going to work. Everyone kinda wants to find their "into the wild" life. Not a care in the World. No emails to worry about, phone calls,  responsibilities. It is a freedom you seek, but this World is about slavery not freedom. Freedom comes from elsewhere. If you believe in some type of freedom here you have fallen prey to propaganda. No such thing in this World, although it's probably a good buzz word.

There is a freedom and separation you can receive from this World, but it isn't in your power. In all your perceived excellence you really are quite helpless. We all are.

Part of our problem is you cannot know of what I speak,  unless you could live it. To know someone is to walk in their shoes. You cannot as you are walk in mine. I sorta remember yours, and it just ain't a very good pair. In your heart you probably believe you are special in someway, so just right there you believe a lie. You have no idea how many falsehoods are planted in our hearts.

Remember I said for the first time probably a decade ago, the truth will be the hardest thing you ever do. Unfortunately to this day you still cling to lies and falsehood. It's our foundation we were born into. How can you change a poor foundation?  If only someone had a blog to explain this stuff.  A blog is one thing. People willing to take the trip is another. You and the people you know are one coin in many. Many many more came before you. You are not special and unique. Your just a human born into this World not of your choice.

That's as good as a spot to start I guess. At this stage I would hope people see the futility of our lives here. Like that song says, "We are a slave to money than we die" 

There is a way to an upbeat life. It cannot be achieved with your greatness though,  cuz the truth is the way. Your greatness is a lie.

Anyhoo, best I better take Hope.

Have fun.

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)