What I Can Clearly See.

So yesterday I found out a guy I worked with died. I could clearly see his whole life. Grew up in Holland. Think he was in trouble early on, with gangs,  maybe drugs, definitely alcohol. I met him when that shit was behind him. He was an Asst. Manager of mine in the plumbing dept at the local lumberyard I worked at. He made me better at my job. He also tried to make my job easier. You rarely saw that.  I tried to do the same when I was in that profession. We cover days off, and our days off get covered, so you hope the person doesn't walk into a shit storm. He later got promoted,  and I think he lost a bit of fire.

Anyway he was married had a kid. This was so long ago, cuz I drove to work most days,  and I picked him up, and drove him home when he was promoted, and we worked the same hours. He had some DUI no license problems. He found some sort of religion somewhere, moved,  got divorced at some point. He visited me at the bakery a couple years back, and now he's dead.

Lisa told me I wrote a letter for him so he could get his license back. I don't really remember that,  but I do remember writing letters for various people for various things. I can't remember when and what for,  and the who I did it for.

Yesterday I saw the timeline of his life, and it seemed so pointless.  He wanted to do good, but what even is that?  We ain't making this shithole better. In the end we treat many people like shit, cuz in this life we aren't able to do better.

My Dad is in his final years. His life is as stupid as any. No fucking point to it. In the hierarchy of significance I dare say you didn't climb any higher. One day you'll be dead,  and what was the fucking point? 

There was none. One coin of trillions, and who gives a fuck?  In the end we aren't special,  but you were brought up in a lie. You mattered. You are significant. You are strong, you can do anything. The only thing you'll receive in this life is a stupid timeline, and when it's over we all see clearly it was all made up of vanity. You thought you were so important, and significant,  cuz you had bad eyesight. Ya kinda have to see your timeline if you want to make wise decisions, but you kept only answering stupid questions of where you see yourself in 5 years, as if you knew it all.

Anyways, it sucks he died. No reason for it, but we all eventually find ourselves 6' under having lived a life for no reason. You can blame your parents for that predicament. A night of passion is where we all got our start. I don't know if it was a cigarette or a sandwich which was the next part in our parents timeline as the sperm  entered the egg. 

Anyhoo, I have a day planned today. It won't matter one bit what I did today after I breathed my last. That day hasn't come yet though.

Gotta run.   :)

Laterzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)