Not A Lot Going On With Me.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am doing fine. We are hitting a good stretch now. High in the 70s lows in the upper 50s or 60s. Probably where life is most comfortable. So that's good. I enjoyed my bike ride home yesterday. It was like 80, and windy. I took Hope for a walk, and we chilled. Just an easy day.

I am getting pretty close to my two days off. Not sure what I'll do. I'll get my house spotless for one. I guess I got stuff to do. I'd say after this week school is in full swing. Not that it changes my life much. Work will slow down a bit til the Holidays, and then it will be crazy busy.

It will be January, and February, and before you know it March. Time does keep moving. What should I do this Fall and Winter?  I don't feel much of my life will change. Work,  eat, sleep.

Life is pretty simple I guess, and mostly cuz my heart is cool with my day to day. My blood pressure has been reading pretty perfect. Like 123/81, close to numbers like that. My cholesterol is good too, so I am healthy. We work, so money keeps coming in. I don't really have expensive tastes. I wear shorts every day or Levi's. Usually a tshirt too.

I spose others struggle with stuff in life. I am far removed from that though. My life isn't overly busy. I definitely am not looking over my shoulder for a better life. This one is fine. Outside of work I really don't have much I need to do. I still do stuff though I spose. I'd rather be healthy than not,  so I do stuff to keep me that way. In my quest to do more, and more maybe I found a minimum that keeps me healthy and uninjured.

Gone are the days where I feel I need to accomplish anything. If I died today I have no complaints. I don't yearn for any accomplishments. I don't need them. I am fine as I am.

Hearts are always striving after wind, but mine doesn't. My heart is settled so to speak. That I did not create. It was given to me. It is like I was put aside.  Remember that dream where I win the race, and I went where no one else can go. I wasn't happy really,  cuz I wasn't supposed to be alone. Yet here I am, with a content heart. There you are lacking that. 

The story to be told is how to bridge that gap. I have no clue. It also is no longer my concern.  It's not my job. I am a vessel that can be used for whatever. That's the turn. Not my will. It's just as far as I can tell I do nothing.  I have one thing left at some point in the future.

Soooooo, I spose. 

Laterzzzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeeeeee.      :)))

The Week Continues On.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I stayed in bed til my middle alarm, cuz I thought I should be tired. I had one more drink than I should have, but I guess I am not any worse for the wear. I wasn't going to run this morning, cuz I've run 4 days in a row. My knee is doing mostly pretty good. I can bend my left leg now without any trouble. I can bend down on my knees too, and get back up. Progress.

So I've known about those things called planks. Knew nothing about them. They look like resting on your elbows. I figured people could probably sleep like that. I found out yesterday they are supposed to be hard. It was a workout day anyway, so I  thought I'd try them.  First I googled how long I should hold them. Of course the first link has some blond girl, trainer of some sort, saying if you are a guy, and you can't hold it for 2 minutes than are you really a guy?  Okay, so two minutes.

Ummmm, it wasn't exactly that easy. I did two. The 2nd one was hard too, so I called it a day. I still can carry my man card, but barely.    ;)

We had pizza, and wings for dinner. I feel pretty good today too. I have two days off coming up. I am excited for it too. Of course by the end I'll curse all days off.  :)   I feel kinda excited about today too. Not for any reason. Just the I feel good reason. I am glad I started working out. I feel there is a good health benefit to it. Not just cardiovascular stuff, but both together. I am a hold to my minimum guy too. I am not seeking to do more. Just keep up with what I am doing. Maybe some day I'll get a wild hair up my ass, and want to push for more. I tried running recently, and that turned to injury.

I don't feel like I want to make any changes really to my life. What I got now is fine. It's easy.

Today all I have to do is walk Hope when I get home. Should be a relaxing stress free day. Aren't they all?   :)

Laterzzzzzzz.      :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeeeeee.       :)))

Been A Pretty Good Week.

For whatever reason this week is going good. I got a lot of the errands done yesterday after work,  I had well over 30,000 steps, I ran short for 3 days in a row. I've been able to get up early,  I made dinner, and did dishes. I had time to chill, and it says I fell asleep at 6:37. I have a few more days, and Summer is basically over.

Today is a workout day, and not sure what after. Not a lot on my mind right now. I feel pretty good.

Ohmigosh, I really have nothing on my mind. Nothing I am concerned with. Nothing I feel angry about. I have a day before me that won't be too different than most. I will work, eat, and sleep. The pressures of the World seem so far away. In life I am sure there is stress, but I have very little if any. I can't really walk in those shoes. A life of stress shoes.

You know how some people start a weekend, and just unwind?  Do whatever, and on Monday realize they spent way too much money. It's kinda an escape from reality. All the worries taken away for a bit. I don't ever really do that. I never escape,  cuz I have nothing to escape from. That is how my heart is light. There are no burdens. Nothing really I am concerned with.

In this way you cannot walk in my shoes,  and I cannot walk in yours. We are different. I cannot even bridge the gap between us. There is nothing I can do about it. I guess eventually we do bridge that gap, but how I have no idea. I absolutely have no idea how that plays out. I do know just the final thing I must do. I don't really think about it. I wonder if things change suddenly like in the past?  The hidden things no longer hidden.

Afterwards I know I will no longer have a comic book understanding. Everything is real at that point. I'll have understanding. All words will carry a good amount of weight.

That's kinda scary huh?  How many words does just this blog have?  I have that warning too. Our hearts can lead us down foolish avenues. Maybe this blog was supposed to be done a while ago.

My heart isn't concerned. I'll just have to accept what comes my way.

Anyway, today I guess I'll have a day. It shouldn't be too stressful. Most aren't. (All)

Laterzzzzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeeee.        :)))

Who Was I Back In The Day?

So, I am at 174 updates for the year. I figure at this rate I'll end up with 100 more. I used to blog ~300 times per year. How?  What the heck did I write about?  Two previous blogs were deleted. We will assume 2 years a minimum of 300. I felt judged, which is why I deleted the blogs.

There was a time when I would do this, and I felt internal persecution all day long for doing it. I'd come home, reread it, wake up the next day, and do it again.

I was different back then. Things were different. There was so much more going on than just a day to day. Now it seems that is all we have. The day to day. It's just the world out there. The hidden stuff is hidden. I don't know what these days here accomplish if anything. Since the wait has started I've been in good hands. Not much to worry about.

Life runs its natural course. We get older, people have died etc...  I am fine with the natural progression. I am fine with this simple life. I see life clearly. The blinders we all were born with have been removed from me. I see people for who they are. Just like me. Not a saint,  and not the best you can be. No exercises or disciplines to help you reach it either. It's out of your hands.

In life we all want happiness,  but our minds fix on something that doesn't really generate it. Happiness comes from the heart. A heart needs to be content. That too is out of our power.

So I went the way I went. I knew what my task was. I knew what my story was. I've done most of it already. What I have accomplished is mostly hidden from my sight. I have no idea how my labor has even accomplished anything.

I trust now totally. I don't know why this story is this way. I don't care either. In life it's like I've been set aside to just live out some simple days until it is my time to do that final thing this version of me has to do. What currently is being done now I have no clue. I am not worried either.

The cares of the World are not in me. I guess when your future is assured it takes a lot away. This may seem like crazy speak to you too, but who feels better?  Me, or you? 

Who is more confident?  Me or you.

This guy who easily could update 300 times per year, it wasn't always easy. I was scared a lot during the beginning. Internal persecutions were high a lot. It's been a while for that though. Things are easy now as I've told you a million times.

Updating 300 times per year maybe not. I don't have much to say. I gather you figured that out too.

Anyway, I spose.

Laterzzzzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.        :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeee.        :)))

Up At My Early Alarm... kinda

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was okay. You still run out of things to do on a day off. I did get a lot done. My normal shit, and outside shit, and tried a new recipe. Listened to a podcast for a long time too. The Black Tapes. I don't know why I picked that one. Voices matter, and this girl has a good voice for a podcast. Not that I am any expert in such things.

That was about it. I am up early, so I can take Hope. My run was fine yesterday. Just my typical short one. My shoes are pretty broken in, so the desire to stop running, and walk didn't occur. So basically a day.

Today will be another day. I have to work out, but it should be a nice afternoon. I was just thinking what I would do with a 2nd day off in a row?  I have no idea.  I'd run out of things to do pretty early.

Anyway, not a lot on my mind. Just the start of a normal day. It's Monday so not exactly people's favorite day. My days are all pretty straight forward. Nothing to stress about really. I'll do labor, and have the rest of my day. I'll eat, and sleep. It's about all I ask in a day. Work,  eat, sleep. 

I really have nothing to write about. Not much on my mind. I guess today should be fine.

What a dumb entry.  Oh well.

Laterzzzzzzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.        :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeeeeeeee.      :)))

Another Day Off.

I have my day off today, and not sure what I'll do. I have my normal Sunday stuff to do, and we'll see. Yesterday was pretty normal. Work,  see a movie after, and chill. Lisa picked a fuck ton of weeds in the back. It looks so much better. I think I'll cut the grass today for one thing.

I am pretty excited for my day off. No reason really. Next week I'll have two days off, cuz of the holiday. A little getaway a little bit after that. Life moves so fast, it will basically be Holiday season before you know it.

I don't feel like my life will change too much with the change of seasons. I better get my fat tire bike in for a check up. I beat the Hell out of it. Ride it in the snow,  never clean it, and never oil the chain. I am the worst. I think the brakes are rubbing on the tires. May have been all Winter.  :)  obviously just a ride to work,  (workout place), and home bike. Pretty much what my other is too. I pretty much just ride for transportation.

Not much really changes with my life. Just kinda do my day after day. Not a lot for me to worry about. Not really concerned with much. People have their own lives, and they can do what they want. Nothing really affects me anymore. My work is done. The stage is set so to speak. How things happen from here on out who knows?  Not my concern. Not anything for me to worry about.

I am free to do as I want, and I pretty much just want to keep on with my simple life.

I don't feel I am trying to make a name for myself. Not doing anything terribly important. Nothing terribly exciting either. It's gotta look boring looking from the outside in, but it isn't. It's just easy, and my heart is light.

Today is a day off like I said. It should be pretty sweet. I am actually excited for some reason. 

Laterzzzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeee.       :)))

It's Cold In The Breezeway.

So, I got over 8 hours of sleep again. Sleeping from my early alarm to the middle alarm is pretty sweet. It's an hour and a half extra. Typically I wake up surprised the middle alarm hasn't gone off yet. It means I have to take Hope when I get home.  That is fine too. My knee feels pretty good to start running. My shoes may need a little more time to break in.

Next week is Labor day which pretty much signals the end of summer. Football starts,  baseball season winds down.  I have no big goals for the Fall. Just keep doing what I do I guess. Always you hope you'll do more, but I guess I have my minimum I do. I work out 3 times per week, and take Hope a lot. Cooking, and housework too. For a simple life I still keep busy.

What should one do for fun. Your downtime. Can you really enjoy downtime when you know there is more you can do?  I thought about what to do for fun yesterday, and I drew a blank.

I know people play video games, but I don't know how they would feel good about themselves. I barely feel good after a day off. I could watch TV, but I don't really do that a ton. Fun threw me for a loop. Is life even supposed to be fun? 

Now my life is easy which is pretty nice. I have no concerns for the future which also nice. I enjoy the labor I do. It makes me feel accomplished most days. Like I own my downtime. Sure there are things I could do, but if I don't,  I still have labor under my belt.

The secret thing we want out of life is to feel good. There are many angles I guess you'd say about, feeling good. I have that though. I feel good. I don't feel angry,  and I don't feel like I've been cheated out of anything.  No scapegoats lurking hidden in my mind. Propaganda loses its ability to take a hold in me. It also helps I don't really pay attention to the news. Hate and anger sells, and the news is there to make money. Seek out the motive.

Today is a day. I feel pretty good. I definitely got a lot of sleep. I got a few things to do after work.

Anyway I spose.

Laterzzzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.             :)

xxoo.              :)

Byeeeeeeeee.       :)))

Welp, I Got My New Phone.

So, I got my new phone. With case it was ~$200. There was one for like $700, but I don't use a phone for anything important. My Fitbit updated. I was having problems updating the firmware on my old one. Pandora was kinda wonky on my old one too. Also it has the new charger port. Not the old shitty ones that always break. I am happy,  and I got a lot of apps installed. Most of the important ones anyway.

I forgot to have them transfer my contacts. I'll see if I can figure it out. I should save them. However you do that.  Yesterday was okay, except for having to download apps,  which btw was way faster than my old phone if that's a thing. We went out to the hotdog place again. I love hotdogs,  and Lisa actually wanted to go. That was good.

Not much else besides that. Work was fine. The rest of my week should be easy. I am ahead of the game so to speak,  although we will be busy with other stuff.

We are going out for pizza tonight. I am actually pretty excited. A place I've never been before. We have to pick up a couch set, and move it to Lisa's daughter storage unit. So a place by my BIL's house. It's currently in his pole barn.

As you can see my life moves on. Day after day of unimportant stuff. I did get my workout in. Did the home part of my workout twice. Push ups, and pullups. I am pretty strong for me. At least in lifting my body weight.

Everything is fine I spose. 

Laterzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeee.      :)))

My Phone Took A Shit

Good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I am fine.  My phone no longer charges, so I guess I have to get a new one.  I definitely don't need a pimp daddy phone for what I do, so I get an older one.  I think the one I currently have is a couple years old.  I'll have to download all my apps again which sucks.  I think my phone has been acting weird anyway.  Like I had to jump through hoops sometimes to have Pandora connect.  I'd be totally against Pandora now, since I pretty much hate most music, but I've discovered podcasts so.

Yesterday I was surprisingly tired after work, so I relaxed.  Basically listened to a podcast, and took Hope after a while, and made dinner.  Just another day I guess.  Nothing too crazy, except the stress of trying to get my phone to charge.  This morning, I accept I'll just get a new phone.  I may be able to get one for free, or at most $100  I use my phone a lot, but I don't do anything crazy with it.  Check scores, listen to podcasts, do my blog, sometimes play stupid games.  I think that is about it.  Check my banking stuff of course too I guess.

Today I am using the laptop, which I never use.  This is how unimportant my life is.   I have very few responsibilities.  I literally just have my little day to day, that is of no consequence.  Not really much for me to worry about.  Everyone wonders about the future, but I am not really concerned too much about it.  I live like life is a going concern, but really I know it isn't.  What the future looks like I am not sure.  I just have no concerns over it.  I am confident in how it all will play out for me.  It will play out good.  Oh there may be a little suffering along the way, but it is a small price.  Remember I wanted that suffering, and what it meant above all else, but I am cool with how I am now.  No biggie.  It happens when it happens.

I've lived the impossible story, that I cannot really explain all too well, without sounding a bit crazy.  Even that is fine with me.  I am confident, and secure as I am.  I don't have any questions of life.  I've gone down the winning road.  The road I did not make.  One I had no idea about as I was getting on it.  There wasn't any blueprint for me to follow. I blindly followed, and learned a lot.  Then I had the dead years, which I always wondered when things would begin.  They did, and not at all as I expected.  When things started up again, I can't ever really say what I did.  The 5+5 is all scattered.  Not even that I don't worry about.   I am selfish now kinda.  There isn't much to me at all.  Other lives pretty much are no longer my concern.  The story is totally out of my hands as it has always been,

That is fine too.

I have a day today.  Gotta get a new phone, and workout, and eat a meal, and stuff.

Laterzzzzzzzzz      :)

xoxo        :)

xxoo           :)

Byeeeeeeee     :)))

I used to always blog with a laptop.  The typing is much easier.   They are big though.  

cya    :)

Another 8 Hours Of Sleep.

Just when I say I rarely get 8 hours of sleep I do it for the 3rd day in a row. I had a midnight wake up, but fell asleep again. Slept til my middle alarm too. I feel like I am in the dog days of Summer,  cuz nothing seems real exciting. Maybe if I start getting some shit done outside.

It should be a pretty great time of year,  cuz people with kids their life gets busy, and mine doesn't change. I typically am pretty good at feeding on other's misery. It's kinda how I operate. My life stays the same.

Yesterday was fine. One of those where I just had to get my workout in. I wasn't really feeling it. My workout is getting pretty easy with some stations so I should uo the weights again.

After 8 hours of sleep,  and some of my cup of coffee down I feel pretty good. Ready to start my day. All things being equal I think I will pick some weeds after work. I have to take Hope too. Then we'll have dinner. Life pretty much is our day to day,  dinner, and sleep. We aren't doing anything terribly important are we?

You bring others in the World they'll have the same to look forward to. A day to day, a meal and sleep. Of course everyone always has their personal B.S. to go through. Imperfections,  hurts, etc...  

Some people may even be lonely, although I feel that to be impossible for me. I am known,  and come to think of it that is a big deal. It's something deep down we all want, but there also is a lot we want to hide. I have no need to hide,  actually I probably couldn't even if I wanted. I don't want. Being open,  and filled with light is security. I can be seen, and it makes my heart at peace with stuff.

It is these things that make my life easy. I guess the truth helps take the burden of life away. I have to work, so I do, and I like it. I am not doing anything important by living,  and I can accept it. No one else is either,  and I know it.

The truth is so easy, but none can attain it. Too many falsehoods accepted as truth. It's why you were to throw everything away. The truth is strong enough to remain. Stupid shit you can leave behind. I guess even that takes courage, cuz your crutch you've held onto forever really isn't even a thing.  You've been clinging to a lie. 

Anyways I spose. 

Laterzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeee.      :)))

Snickers Flavored Creamer For My Coffee

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Unlike you, I am having Snicker flavored creamer with my coffee. I slept 7 hours and 44 minutes too. I was surprised. Yesterday I got my normal Sunday shit done. I got a haircut,  shopped for groceries,  and picked more tomatoes. I ate 6 tomatoes yesterday I think,  and I still have 2 bowls full. I've been cutting up a few tomatoes,  put them in a container with salt, and bring them to work. It is soooo good. I might go through withdrawal when my never ending supply abruptly ends.

My knee feels pretty good today,  so I'll take Hope. Yesterday was a run walk, because I am out of shape already/lazy. Might be it was hot and humid too. Yuck. I didn't do much when I finished all my stuff early afternoon. I watched tv, and made lasagna. It was overcast, and I felt like lasagna. It came out good. How can it not?  Red sauce, sausage,  ricotta, and cheese. I mean seriously. 

Yesterday was a day off, and I am ready to go back to work. We are approaching Labor day. School starts so we should slow down. Labor Day will be busy, and then we will be okay. This year I don't feel we worked a ton of overtime. Last year I think it was 6 months straight. I wouldn't mind a couple 36-38 hour weeks. We will get those soon enough hopefully.

Not a lot on my mind. I'll have to cut the grass soon. I really need to pick weeds too.  Horrible year for them. Basically I just have simple stuff that fills my mind and my time. I am not doing anything important. My life isn't important. I don't drag myself down worrying about politics and stuff. As far as I can tell everybody is just angry about something.

I just have my life of little importance. Not really worried about much. I work, and live my simple little life. I am not disappointed in any way. I am not sad. I don't miss anyone, and maybe more than anything I am just indifferent toward people. You have a life,  fine. It's not my concern. Actually most people's lives seem much harder than mine. Most people will tackle more than they can handle, or else they don't have much to fill  their time.

Other people I am not concerned about. I have my easy little life. I am a month away from a little 3-4 day getaway where I may do nothing. Our hotel is on the water, so it should be nice. I am excited. Easy trip, little travel, plenty of relaxing.

So enter another update of my silly day to day.   :)

So dumb.    :)

Laterzzzzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeee.       :)))

It's A Day Off.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I slept for 8-1/2 hours yesterday, so that's good. If people average 8 hours of sleep each night I find that remarkable. Maybe once per week I get that. Somewhere between 5 and 7 hours is my norm. I guess if I didn't wake up before I had to I could get 8 hours. I typically get up when I am ready to. I don't really wake up tired either for the most part. I wake up, and I am up. I may snooze for 1/2 hour though after my early alarm.

Yesterday was normal. I worked,  saw a movie,  and went out to dinner with my brother and his son. John's kids are both pretty cool.  Work was fine. We did different stuff from our norm. It's a good company to work for. Pretty soon we will get paid each week instead of every other.

I am listening to the 4th Harry Potter book, which I have read already too before. It must have been the 5th one I never got through. I have been listening to pod casts too. Mostly true crime ones. I find that interesting.

I am going to take Hope pretty soon. I can't say my knee is 100%, so we'll see. I climbed a lot of steps yesterday, and that isn't great. Makes me think climbing the 100+stairs to run the trail wasn't the best thing. My tennis elbow seems mostly better. I'll know for sure when I scoop flour tomorrow. So weird. The pain seemed so debilitating, but it heals pretty quickly. I've never had that before.

Outside of that not much. It's been an okay weekend. I'll tell you a story. I took my Dad to get a library card. So he could have free books to read. He could start reading for enjoyment too. He got a Western, and I told him to get a James Patterson novel. Both were big print which is easy to read.

Anyway yesterday he told me he got 200 pages read in the Western. Then he goes off on how he took a speed reading course, and I rolled my eyes. They used to have commercials on that crap in like the 70s or something. It's not a thing, cuz you don't hear about that shit anymore.

What I don't like probably in anyone is the desire to make yourself seem special. Unworldy remarkable, talented or whatever. To want people to see you as more than you are.  To be fabulous in other words.

I am not, and you are not. In any way. That is a truth of life. Your not remarkably smarter in things than others or talented or anything. You are human,  which makes you not that great at all. Once people can come to terms with that truth maybe that would help a lot.

It was annoying. Also he befriended a crack whore. The one who almost OD'd on heroin when she was next door.

Anyway I spose. 

Laterzzzzzz.      :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeee.       :)))

Let's Try This Again.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I finally got my new running shoes, and a knee brace/sleeve thing. So, I'll start running short again. I also got a thing for tennis elbow. It started bugging me for the first time ever. I figured I pulled a muscle or something. It hurts. I was scooping flour and sugar with my left hand. I had some discomfort when I worked out the other day.

I would have no clue what it was, except Lisa has it flare up once in a while. She told me to get a brace. The brace shows you where to put it. This spot coincides with where it hurts on my elbow. A strange never felt before pain gets diagnosed so easily. That was strange.

Other than that not much. It's Friday,  so the weekend is almost here. I have no big plans. I never really do. I'll work tomorrow, and we'll see.

Not much going on with me. I am healthy,  and just living out my little life. It isn't hard really. The only thing I really battle is being tired after work, but like yesterday, I caught a 2nd wind, and got my shoes,  and stuff. We had pizza for dinner. Tried a new kind of frozen that was on sale. It was good. I bought salmon, which I am going to eat more of. I am the only one who likes it, but it is good for me so.

I eat more fruit these days by using the brown bag trick. Buy peaches,  and plums and stuff that are never ripe,  put them in a brown bag for a couple days, and they come out soft,  and ready to eat. I wanna try and improve that bad triglyceride number

It's been like 1-1/2 weeks since I've run. Can you imagine how I'll feel after?  I'll probably have a little pep to my step today.

As to other people I don't care. I have very little stress. My life is pretty easy. That's it. I don't have anything to really worry about.

I spose. 

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.     :)

Byeeeeee.      :)))

A Clean Bill Of Health.

I got all my annual blood work done. It went pretty good. Everything is in the normal range, except triglycerides. Those are high, due to something in my diet...probably alcohol. I need to cut back more.

I know I know I was going to quit,  but whatever.   ;)  my bad cholesterol went from 151 two years ago to 49 right now. Last year it was 80-something. I was definitely pretty happy, and surprised with that number. Also my blood pressure is pretty good.

Yesterday was okay. Busy. I got my full workout in, and made dinner,  and did dishes. I just took my blood pressure. It was 123/81. Usually I take it twice,  and it is lower the 2nd time,  but I am fine with those numbers. When I was at the Doctor a few weeks ago, I was like 136/68.  The 136 was just nervously elevated from being at the Doctor. That number has been as high as like 168/96 or something. Whenever they checked again it went to under 140/something. So everything looks pretty good for me except triglycerides.  I like the Doctor just to see the annual counting stats.

Outside of that not much. Just doing the day to day stuff. My day to day is busy, but should slow down pretty soon. School starts. Tourism slows down. Everybody is going home. I still haven't gotten my running shoes,  cuz of my knee, but I think it's fine now. I may just do my short runs with Hope,  unless I feel the knee will cooperate.

What are my future plans?  Not much right now. When things slow down I'll have more time. Not sure what I'll do with it.

Today I am 53 years old,  which I could give a shit about. I don't even care it's my birthday. Just another day.

I feel good. A clean bill of health is probably as good a present as any.

It's all good. I was gonna take Hope,  but now it started raining. Looks like I drive to work. I have a bunch of tomatoes to eat, which is awesome.

I spose. 

Laterzzzzzzzzz.  :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeee.      :)))

Better.

I was more tired yesterday than I thought I'd be. I didn't even work out after work. I blew it off. I am on my 3rd podcast of serial. I did it season 1,3, and now 2. 2nd season is about an Army guy who walked off his base in Afghanistan, and became a Taliban prisoner for 5 years. It was probably a divisive issue at the time, cuz him walking off base was a protest. The capture led to a huge search. A lot of assets deployed. When freed he did have to appear before a court martial. It's interesting. I am not sure how his story turns out. Leavenworth? 

One thing I learned about this podcast is the chasm between say a Taliban guy, and a typical say U.S. guy. Both are filled with dogma that puts a pretty heavy footprint on their outlook. All along I've told people to throw everything out. You know, just in case it isn't right. The truth is strong enough to remain, even when all dogma gets shredded.

I did that as I said I would. What happens is you find yourself alone in the World,  without any crutch of dogma. I know at some point all dogma got shredded as I suffered. The hidden labor.

So no one was willing to follow those footsteps. Safety in numbers?  Numbers and multitudes you are not held accountable for. To go the other way is scary for sure, cuz you no longer have the security of Country, numbers,  costumes,  clothes,  society. You are as you came here.

Since you came here you've been bombarded with all kindsa information. It's how this World works. You believed the numbers and some multitude of some sort, but those don't help you. You are alone, filled with some sort of false dogma.

I wondered about my story. I felt the Taliban people were very dark inside. A very rigid dogma they cling too. A typical U.S. person too.

You do have to throw everything away. I am not dark. My insides are open. Able to be seen. It's why this blog goes on, because you cannot cover light with dark. The problem being is it may take the final thing the current version of me has to do to help take the scales from your eyes.

Your walk up until now I have no idea about. It is nonexistent pretty much. You are a person born of this World, and have followed the steps the multitudes have. Darkness is everywhere.

Anyway. 

I am fasting today, so I can get my annual blood work done. Shouldn't be a big deal. If I am hungry I'll just not eat I guess.  Not a big deal. I am going after work.

I spose I'll take the Hopester. 

Laterzzzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeeeee.        :)))

I Was Kinda Lethargic Yesterday.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I took Hope for a walk yesterday, and that was fine. I was kinda tired the rest of the day. I did my normal Sunday stuff, and a little project,  but that was it. I did play a stupid game on my phone for quite a bit.

I think tomorrow I'll get my blood work done. I'll eat dinner tonight,  and go after work, fasting until then. Get that shit out of the way. Really not much else going on with me. I slept good last night. I woke up early, but I fell rested, and good. It's kinda what you hope for.

I have some stuff to do around the house.  Another thing you hope from such a thing is want to. Maybe you never feel want, but if you do a little you feel good about it.

Come to think of it, even though I felt tired I guess yesterday after my normal Sunday stuff I did get a couple more things done.

Anyway no great thoughts yesterday as is normal. I did think this morning before I got out of bed. I thought of my post yesterday, and I remembered I used assume in it. I thought of my story,  you know the one here that basically does nothing. Whatever I am doing won't be seen until I do my final thing I guess. My labor is hidden.

I thought people were supposed to be kinda like me, but now that I think of it maybe not. So I have this story, and I don't know what my labor does if anything.

I know what it's supposed to do, but I don't see the fruits of my labor. That's okay too. I don't have to worry how this thing plays out. I know it will. Right now I just do my day to day for whatever that is worth.

Today I have work. I have to work out. Do at least some stuff around the house, and eat a meal. If I could plan my perfect day today I don't know what it would be. I don't think having a day off would be it. I'd rather work, and be active. It helps one feel good.

Oh, I picked a bunch of tomatoes yesteday. I am not going to can any, I am just going to eat them. I ate like 4 yesterday.

It's Monday. I can't say I am really excited about it, but it should be fine. I'll do my normal thing. My Dad is annoying. For one I cannot believe how much he eats out. Did that generation never learn how to cook?  It doesn't really concern me, but he needed to borrow money. How is that?  He's got no bills. I think back to his life,  and he is pretty dumb now. I think he's always been. Not very nice his whole life either. A shallow person too.

Like if he dresses up in a suit he should be respected. That kind of idiocy. Clothes do not make a person. If there is such a thing as keep up with the Jones'es it isn't in my life. I could care less about that stuff. I never dress up either.

Rant over. I'll take Hope now. 

Laterzzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.     :)

Byeeeeeeee.      :)))

Time Moving On.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was okay. I worked a little late. I am almost done listening to book 3 of Harry Potter. That happens to be the last book I finished reading. I got bored after, although I am sure the books are fine after 3.

After work I chilled out a bit, showered,  and went out and got a sewage pump. On Friday we realized ours didn't work anymore. I was going to have a plumber install a new one, but my regular plumber's number no longer works. I don't have his cell number anymore either. From when I lost all my contacts. So, I figured I'd do it myself. I hate plumbing,  but I can do stuff. I was going to do it today,  but just did it yesterday. One thing I learned is those things take a beating.  I got a check valve,  cuz usually you replace those too,  although the original seemed fine. It basically disintegrated. It appears some of the original pump just deteriorated too. It's pretty old. Like maybe a decade.

Anyway after a couple trips to the lumberyard it works. For another decade probably. Glad that's done. A pretty disgusting job.

So today I have a day off with not much to do. Laundry,  run the robot, clean the kitchen that is mostly clean. I don't know what I am going to do. Maybe see a movie. I'll have to take the monster too.

I have an easy day before me. Nothing too stressful. Not much on my mind. I only had 70 miles last week. Probably not going to hit my 100 mile week. I have nothing I am really shooting for. That is fine too. Keeps me flexible. I can do whatever. My heart is still fine with things.   No biggie. I can just be as I am. As to life's disappointments I have none. I am fine with it all. I have no heroes before me. Nobody I'd rather be than me.

I honestly don't know how the human experience ever became some dignified thing. We aren't dignified in the least. Humans are messed up. Filled with a lot of bad information. If you live you have bad information. Fairy tales are a part of your reality. We get older and older. Try doing that in a glamorous way.

The World is icky. The best you can hope for is to be good with you. I am good with me. I ain't perfect, but I don't pretend to be. I've dealt with my shortcomings. Looked at my shit head on. I faced my fears, and endured them.

I am open. I can be seen, which is just my normal now. Nothing I ever really think about. Life is easy cuz my heart makes it so. It's content. I am fine with me, and what I do.

If life is a rat race it's below me. It doesn't affect me. I have something you don't. You don't know it, cuz you cannot walk in my shoes. I am pretty sure many/all had the opportunity,  but you weren't willing. You wanted to stay in control. I assume because you felt you were all powerful to direct future events.

How we go from here I have no clue. There is no guide book. I just do what I do. This  is pretty much it.

I spose.  Today should be okay. 

Laterzzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeee.       :)))

A Full Day.

Yesterday just a lot got done. For one our car got done, so we picked it up. We bought it in Grand Haven, which is like 20 miles away, so it's always an ordeal to get  it fixed. I don't like driving 4 miles  let alone 40 there and back. It's under warranty though. It was just the electric seat mover wasn't working,  so they fixed it. Had to order the part. Got a free oil change,  some 16 point inspection,  and tire rotation. All for free. They do hook us up there.

Lisa had an issue at work. It seemed a meeting was called with everyone in order to belittle her and another girl. Her boss sent her home. She talked to the main guy who knew nothing of the matter. I told her to file a complaint. It's a non profit organization so there should be legal ways to file a complaint through HR or something. Get the paper work started. Her work she used to like,  but now she says she walks on egg shells.  It used to be a fun place for her to work at, but it isn't anymore.

My work place we generally are always in a good mood. It sucks walking on egg shells. We had that before too. You know you were walking in to work with someone who is in a bad mood 99% of the time. Complaining about whatever. It sucks. It's easy to spot unhappy people. The unhappy people probably don't know they are unhappy,  and probably don't know they make people's short lives worse,  not better.

Anyway she was off,  and we could get the car with no hassle. She normally works til 5:00. Shop closes at 5:00. That worked out. I closed out my Chase account after. My 2nd job got deposited in the credit union so that's easy. Chase had hidden fees. I don't remember the balance I needed to keep to be no fees. I think $6000, and I don't think I made enough at my 2nd job to have no fees, cuz they had a minimum amount needed to be deposited each month. So basically they held $6000, which they pay basically no interest on, and they could subject me to fees. I got my $550 from them for jumping through hoops,  and now I only have two banks. Both closer to my house too.

I was going to get running shoes, but the store closed early to get ready for sidewalk sales. Go figure. We got hot dogs for dinner at a new place near there,  and it was good. I love Chicago dogs.

I then went to bed. I did listen to the serial podcast which gets more and more disturbing. Actual cop brutality just for the heck of it. They beat up one guy, and placed him in a room for 4 days with no bathroom. His head was swollen 3 years later he needed surgery to drain fluid in his head. In those 4 or 5 days they gave him a small carton of milk to drink. Did the same to another guy too. More stories like that. It was disgusting. That's what I mean about a helpless situation. The people who are supposed to be part of the solution are part of the problem.

It's helpless. Me being a typical white guy would have no idea things like this happen.   Humans can fall to great depths. I can't imagine what makes these people do such things,  and with a clean conscience. How does that work? 

Not really any thoughts on life or anything. Today is a day. It should be fine. I have to work out, and maybe get my shoes after. I'll have to have dinner at some point. Not sure what to do there. I think I'll drive, and pick up something to cook. I have to get a haircut anyway.

So I have the makings of a day. 

Laterzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeee.        :)))

The Week Goes On

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was pretty normal. Worked a bit late, worked out, chilled out. We made dinner, and I crashed. I did take Hope in the morning for a walk, and ended up with over 31,000 steps.  Sunday, my day off, I had 7500 steps.

The optimist in me thinks I can still run. New shoes and better inserts. My knee is way better. I did let it get pretty bad. Kneeling down was a pain in the butt. I kneel a lot. I really don't want that shit again. It's a pain in the butt.

I slept over 7 hours again last night. My resting heart rate is steady. Always just one bpm more or less or the same. Remember last week I was only sleeping 5-1/2 hours for some reason. This week I am not running, and that's a change.

I have nothing in my mind to do right now either. A lot revolved around my runs for a while,  and now I have to add something else. I have to find the desire and want to I guess. What should one do to fill their time? 

I listened to the serial podcast. Season 3 is a year in the Cleveland court system. Probably a lot like other big cities. Pretty helpless it seems. I am a pretty typical white guy. Not involved in the system in any way. Some people live a life in the court system. Cuyahoga county the judges have a pretty good amount of power. The relationship between Police, and citizens is weak. Not good. Probably that way in most big cities.

Your surroundings help shape your views. The surroundings in many areas of big cities is fucked up. I am a normal white guy. How are lives so fucked up. Why do people have kids when it is the last fucking thing they should do?  Why are Dads missing?  When did a radical lifestyle become so normal? 

Some areas in big cities seem helpless. If I wasn't as I was now. You know my story, what would I be like. What would be my norm?  I don't know. I am happy and content. It's easy being me. Without the content thing, my normal white life would probably be pretty shitty anyway.

I think life has always been shitty. No one has really lived the good life. A content heart is better than any riches,  and people don't really know that. They think riches lead to the content life, but it doesn't.

I would think people in the Cleveland area trying to improve the area are probably better off in feeling useful, than being a normal white guy in a pretty normal town. Me being content is really a tremendous thing. Cuz my useless typical white life doesn't matter to me. I am fine doing what I do. Work,  eat, sleep,  and not making this place any better. In the end Cleveland won't get better for a while either. It can't while radical norms are in play.  Is the average bourgeois life any better though?  It's safer, but a content heart is what we are after. Those we don't make. A typical white guy in a normal'ish town does not make one content either. Probably just safer, but there are a lot of guns out there,  so is anyone safe? 

People are mad, cuz their hearts aren't content. Harsh rhetoric can be a trigger for scapegoatism. Someone is to blame.

Life doesn't lead to content hearts.  It never has. So everyone is angry about something. You won't find a content heart watching the news. You won't get smarter either. Actually just the opposite.

Anyway,  I gotta take Hope.

Laterzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.     :)

Byeeeeeeee.     :)))

Back To Normal'ish

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I slept over 7 hours yesterday, and that is nice. I finished listening to season 1 of the serial podcast. A look into a weak murder conviction. We pretty much don't know any more. The guy was found guilty by a jury. You can't really say if he did it or not. I slept 3 hours the night before, actually less than 3 hours so I didn't do shit after work.

I don't like the inserts of my running shoes. They are uncomfortable. I ran on them for 2 years you'd think I would have noticed. I did notice, but I only ran in them. Yesterday I tried to work in them, and the inserts are horrible. Hard, and not soft. Like they were trying to get way too much arch support. Running shoes should be your most comfortable shoes. I know I never did like the way my feet felt when I walked in them.

I don't think it does anything with my knee, cuz when I bought these shoes I hoped it would help my knee problem. My knee problem seems to be just too much running on it. When I stop running it heals pretty nicely. I'll get new shoes,  and better inserts (cheaper ones probably), and try it again. I think i spent $40-50 on those shitty inserts. 

Other than that not much. I think today should be an okay day, cuz I got over 7 hours of sleep. I think I'll get my shoes after work. I think my the check from my 2nd job gets deposited into the credit union tomorrow. I can close my Chase account then. Then I'll only have 2 banks, and four accounts. Besides my Discover savings one, which I love. It pays 2% interest. I put money each week into an investment account. I have people do the investing, and the stock market is pretty rocky. I have them invest pretty conservatively in that account, so it isn't horribly rocky. My IRA one is not so conservative.  We won't discuss that one.  

Anyway if I don't feel confident anymore I may just stop adding to the investment, and add to Discover. Actually I am not at all confident of stocks. It's gambling pretty much, but more like sports betting instead of roulette. I once looked into that stuff, but the amount of information available is never ending. I can read balance sheets and income statements,  but so can others. I am not special in any way to be more knowledgeable than others who do that for a living.

Also I am under the assumption the economies of the World will tank at some point.  I asked why I believed that,  and it's because I assumed things. I assumed a lot of things that have not come to pass. Me living these type of days were not something I assumed would happen. Much different were my assumptions so I have no problem throwing that stuff out. I don't know how the future days will be. I just know they probably won't be pleasant when the current version of me gets changed. I have the outline with very few details.

I sometimes think of my warning. My words will make my ordeal harder, and I wonder if it is this thing here. Should I have quit this thing before now?  I worry about my words sometimes. The real truth is judgy,  and I fear being that. Do I offer only hardship, and no solutions?  Do my words just create suffering? 

I wanted to be good remember. Then again all of me will be used for good. Remember that promise. So basically I just worry sometimes how much harder I made my suffering. I don't know exactly how.

Also, I wake up wanting to do this for whatever reason. I liked listening to the podcast. I liked the women's voice. Maybe this is kinda like that. People can read this, cuz maybe it's a soft voice. Easy to "listen" to.

I don't know.  Anyway, I spose.  

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.     :)

Byeeeeee.       :)))

The Knee Says No.

Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. My left knee is still bugging me, so I don't know what I am going to do. Not run for a bit. One thing I've learned is running does take away from other parts of life.  You cannot do all the things.

Yesterday I slept in. I needed it. Some things I learned about myself recently is I don't really like music much. Pandora has ruined it or something. I am pretty much sick of most/all music. The songs have been done to death.

I don't know why that is. Is it me, and my lack of interest in things?  Is it just music isn't that important?  Music taken down it's full timeline = nothing of significant value. Who knew? 

I did find podcasts on Pandora. So I started listening to serial. An inside look at our justice system pretty much. I am sure there are podcasts for everything,  and true crime seems interesting to me. The girl who does it is pretty interesting I'd say. Flawed,  and everything. Not ashamed of herself,  but isn't afraid to share her flaws in the way she thinks and stuff. I can't really explain it.

Yesterday was okay. I worked out, applied for my passport, watched a movie, made dinner, watched another movie, ran my robot. Time spent not running = more time for something else. Maybe clean the basement, and the garage. Weed the garden, and stuff.

I still have to get new running shoes, and a knee brace. Pretty much planning on going back to my normal stuff barring a miracle. I am probably not going to get in super duper running shape again.

I find myself wanting people to ask themselves questions of why?  Why do you believe stuff? 

Guns are good.

My Country is the best

We all should hate North Korea.

Some people in my opinion should die. (I am the judge)

What I do is important.

My life is important.

People are the creation of thoughts from other people. A creation of the society of today. I find a lot of hate toward others. You cannot hide it. The other side is dumb. The truth of life is it isn't important. It doesn't last.

No one does any good deeds. Is there even such a thing?  Everybody is so busy being on the right side of right they never actually asked why?  The truth is you aren't. Not in the least. You believe a lie.

I could handle that truth about me in the wilderness,  cuz I knew I had fear. I wanted security. The security of being on the right side of right. So I wanted to go through my ordeal to become the best a person can be. Security.

It isn't being the best a person can be that saves us though. That's the gift. For me i didn't harden my heart. I just asked for courage, cuz I was to play the fool. A test which I passed. My heart was given just barely enough courage.

It wasn't my righteousness that places me where I am now. Something else was accepted in its place. As it is written.

Anyway, I guess I'll take Hope. Today is a day. Should be okay,  even though I slept for only 3 hours for some reason.

Oh well. 

Lateezzzzzzz.   :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeee.      :)))

A Day Was Had. I Spose.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I slept for 9 hours and 36 minutes last night. I saw a movie after work,  and we actually made it to Saugatuck AGAIN!! We went to the Butler Deck, and had a meal,  and a rum runner. It was good. A lot of people out and about. It's on the water so a lively atmosphere.

My knee has been acting up,  so I am skipping my long run today. It is something I have to be careful with. It sucks, but what are you going to do. It's more of a precaution than a necessity.

Outside of that not much. I'll get a lot done around the house,  and I'll take Hope for a walk. When I was at the DMV the other day you get to see a whole bunch of different people. A random set of various people is not exactly the most pleasant thing to view. Same could be said at the Butler Deck yesterday. I can't really imagine what people do with their lives. I don't think many hobbies actually have movement involved.

I think of things one can do with their lives, and I don't see anything of value. What kind of imperfection did you settle on for your life?  How will you make it seem not imperfect?  We all tell tall tales.

If I could think of anything I'd want to do, this is good enough. I am busy, I am active. I don't feel I have too much of any vice in my life. Too little either.  I don't watch a lot of tv. If people get sucked in that trap it is beyond me to comprehend such a thing. I am too busy. I don't have guilt toward anything. The shitty person I have been in the past I have gone through,  and came to terms with. I am accepted,  so I have a new me coming sometime,  and it makes the now me irrelevant.

What I am now is nothing. Not really worth anything. Powerless to help people,  and I can only marvel that people don't want better. As a matter of fact they might want to paint a picture they are in the midst of the good life, but their hearts know they aren't.

Whatever you have created or were born into it isn't the best thing out there. You kinda have to be honest with yourself to see it though. Social networking won't help you on that either. That shit is just silly.

Anyway, I guess I'll start my day. I wouldn't mind taking a nap actually. 

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeee.      :)))

I Feel Pretty Good For A Friday.

So my sleep this week seems like it has switched down to 5-1/2 hours of sleep each night. I don't know why that is. Maybe just an energy spike where I don't need as much sleep this week. It was easy mentally for me to go run the trail. Still hard as heck though. 7 loops last week, and 8 this week. That thing does not get easier. I think my pace yesterday was 11:55, and it wasn't easy.

Outside of that yesterday was another day. I worked,  ate, and slept. I think i am going to get my passport,  drivers license, and new running shoes today. Oh, and a brace for my left knee. That's the one that acts up. Just get that annoying shit done.   So I will probably take today off from running. My knee has been acting up a bit, although it feels better today after my run on the trail. When my knee starts bugging me, it doesn't really like bending so much.  I think it will be fine.

Not much going on besides that at all. I got some tomatoes already. I have to weed my garden again. What a pain. I don't think I want to can tomatoes this year. Too much work. I will if I get a good load, so we will see.

Am I making the most out of my life?  I am fine, and content with mine. It's easy. I don't have a ton of interests, and I dwindle them down more and more. I was at that age where I wanted to learn all the things, and now I am wise enough to know that is a job in futility. My life is simple, because I only do what is sustainable. I don't bring too much shit on. In life I want to relax after I labor,  and I do that. I keep stress off by not having more and more to do. I have less to do.

I still do stuff. It's not like I work,  and then sit on my butt right away. I do sit on my butt eventually though. I guess my life is not filled up with shit I don't want to do. I don't have a ton of annoying responsibilities. 

I look at other busy lives,  and I am glad mine isn't. Heck, I don't even have to be real sociable if I don't want. You know how probably everyone wants alone time?   I have a ton. Every day. I enjoy it. After work I typically have a few hours, and before work I have a couple hours. I think that is healthy. My life is easy.  I am jealous of no one. I am living the life I want. Like you, I had no idea what I needed to make my internals always pretty positive. Now I have it, and I didn't create it. I was just willing to follow another story, not of my direction.

I know why I am the way I am. I also know you are not, so. That's interesting huh?  You can't kid someone who knows.

Anyway, I guess I'll take Hope. Maybe I will run, yeah what the heck.  I will.

Laterzzzzz.         :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.        :)

Byeeeeeee.      :)))

I Guess I Do Stuff Everyday.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I got my workout in yesterday,  and I feel good about it. I feel good about taking two sessions off too. It's basically been a year since I started working out. I tackled it like I am running. I knew there would be the initial excitement, but the key is to develop a program for yourself where you can have consistency. Something challenging,  but sustainable. The ability to still get your workout in even if your tired.

These days I feel getting my workout in is easy. Not a big deal. Just something I do.  Running is the same way. Having a plan. If I am tired after work,  I can shut my eyes for 5 or 10 minutes or so, and then go.

I booked our little getaway for later in September. I booked 3 nights. Saturday through Tuesday. It will be relaxing. I am looking forward to it.

Not really much going on besides that. Work, eat, sleep. Today is a trail day, and that's about it. I didn't think of anything particularly interesting yesterday. There wasn't a lot on my mind. I know my life is insignificant,  and I am fine with it. I am not doing anything terribly exciting. Just living my little life. Knowing I know things about life I guess is strange when others don't.

I've come to terms with all things. I seek out true things I guess, and most hide that shit. I think people in your state focus on the appearance of stuff.   Life is supposed to be a certain way, so we'll paint this picture. You cannot really see the frustrations in one heart.

Financial concerns are a thing, especially if one has kids. There never is enough money. I am very grateful I am almost 53, and I don't have normal stress of trying to live a family life. How people find time, and actually have the desire is beyond me.

I wonder if the initial excitement is like working out. Oh we'll do this it will be awesome,  and then you realize you took on more than you can handle. A workout I can take two days off to recover. I am still strong, and can get back on. My routine is sustainable.  Do people actually like being parents every single day?  I don't see it. Maybe they do, but I wouldn't. I knew early on I was selfish.  How many kids grow up thinking I will not be like my parents.

I almost would like to know what parenting is like during football season. I figure in most cases moms are better than dads. No evidence just a feeling.

There is nothing special about my life. There are no exceptional people I've come across cuz there is no such thing. People aren't exceptional. It's why the truth is hard. If we aren't exceptional then what are we posting to our IG accounts?  Me nothing. I barely post anything outside of here. I don't even have an IG. Obviously I don't do pictures.

My life is insignificant, and I didn't do it perfectly. A theme we all inherited.

Anyway, I spose. 

Laterzzzzzzzzz.   :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.     :)

Byeeeeeeee.      :)))