Thursday, February 28, 2013

Well, I decided to get up.

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I decided to get up today to do this little thing.  I don't have to do it, and I realize if I don't stuff comes out anyway.  I have more outlets than my blog I realize, and I guess all will be utilized in ways. 

I learned that yesterday.  

Lisa has been sick this week, and she was feeling better, but then all of a sudden not feeling good again last night.  Hopefully she feels better today.  She doesn't have to be at work til next Tuesday, so she has time. 

I just realized yesterday how the World entangles us all.  You owe people this, and you owe people that.  You have to do this, and you have to do that.  You are not free at all.  You are a slave to your life, and all the things you got tangled up into.  Aren't you sick of it??  You are not free at all. 

There are so many rules in life, and many of them you made yourself. 

I am here to tell you life is a Spiritual Journey.  Tough things need to be done, and many of the scary horrible things are hidden.  You need to have courage to do the tough things that need to be done, and you may need to eat a little humble pie. 

I mean even the good book says the two most important rules are to Love the Lord Your God with all your heart with all your mind, and with all your soul, and your neighbor as yourself. 

Guilty huh??   I know it is not within your heart to love your neighbor as yourself, because you judge.  We cannot even do that little thing, and you also love your life, and all that is about more than the one he offered up for you.  The one I have been telling you about.  You know me pulling on this blog, but you not listening, not believing, and trusting in your own knowledge and wisdom instead of the higher truths offered. 


What do you profit if you gain the World but forfeit your soul??  

I have told you it is a numbers game, and the numbers are a lottery type percentage. 

Sooooo,   you better take shit seriously. 

You better have courage, and you better start coming to terms with who you are, and how your life looks, and the things you have done, and how pretty unfabulous we ALL are. 

Or just keep going on...   doing what you are doing.  You can also see where that leads too. 

At the end of the day we all have free will, even when you are led to the ultimate fork in the road.  Do I go the way of me??   Or do I humbly, and unwillingly deny myself and go the path less chosen?? 

Which one do you think makes all the difference???   Even if you cannot see??  You really are putting your trust in one who sees better on the path less chosen huh??  

Your choice. 

Laterzzz.   :)    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo    :)))

Monday, February 25, 2013

Today I Don't Want Coffee...

Good Morning all.  I just woke up, and it seems Lisa has the flu or something.  Depositing the contents from her stomach from both ends.  She was a little freaked.  She said that came from nowhere.  Maybe it is food poisoning, but it wasn't from my meal, because that was all fresh.  Not sure what she had for lunch.  

Oh well. 

I have no words of wisdom or anything to say.  I know yesterday I said my blog was dumb, and I didn't mean that.  My blog is good, and it is important, and I believe that.  I place a lot of importance in what I write here, because... 

I have had people say they read my blogs, and in various ways leave reading my blog, or go out of their way to tell me they don't read it.  I go on.  I believe in myself, and I have strength in who I am and the direction I go. 

I am honest, and maybe too honest to be called diplomatic.  Why??  because that is how I am made.  From the shy little kid with the big brown bag going to kindergarten to who I am now.  I am not how I would have been if I didn't do the things I did. 

I cannot explain myself in a way you can understand I bet, but I go on, and this goes on, and we'll see where it leads.  I know the destination, but I don't know the routes.  I am traveling on this long path, and the driver is not me.  The one with the map is not me, but I go along for the ride.  Kinda going on my own Kerouac ride, and I have a get out of jail free card.  I can do no wrong.  I ain't perfect, but in my heart isn't to kill people, and do stupid shit like that.  On the surface I am pretty normal'ish.  It is here where things may get a bit weird, and I can never explain to you the way you are now. 

So on we go.  We each have our own little Journey, and they are different in many ways.  Life is some good, and some bad, and yeah, you cannot self help yourself when sadness comes.  That is the dealing part of life.  That is the Howard Zinn part of life, you will not escape.  Those who don't deal with these things end up doing bad stuff, and being bad people.  Those who deal are doing right and correct stuff. 

Poor Lisa.  Up again.  throwing up.   That is misery.  Probably stress. 

Take care.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  My new outlook on my job has me even liking it more than ever.  I used to hate Mondays, but now I want to get after it.  To be better and better and better. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Slept In Again...

Good Morning all.  I slept in again.  til 6:33 this morning.  Feels pretty good I tell you.  Anyway, I got my coffee done, and I am going to get a glass. 

So anyway my big project was finishing our new floor in our Hallway, Kitchen, and Dining room.  Done and done.  I bought 3 more boxes on Friday, and used every piece, and didn't need anymore.  How lucky is that??  I even put up a couple transition pieces, and Lisa is doing trim, and other transition pieces.  I did the pre-finished ones, and she does the painting, and the staining. 

A funny, and dumb story about our floor.  We bought a light colored floor a long time ago, and put it in the dining room, and kitchen.  Lisa's brother Brian helped us with that.  For some reason we didn't do the hallway, and later I did, but not with totally matching pieces.  Also it wasn't tongue and grooved the same way as the other, so it looked like crap for a long long time.  Several years long.  Then all of a sudden I got an idea to put down some new flooring.  A box here, and a box there.  So after all this time we have a nice looking floor.  Also we are actually going to finish the baseboard trim too.  Where does the time go??

I remember all my Saturday long runs.  Being worthless afterwards, because I was so tired.  So I turned my lack of training due to injuries here and there to good use.  I like our house now, and we want to make small improvements here and there. 

Who would have thought, I'd get the desire to do that stuff again??  it is February too, and imagine what I can do this Spring and stuff. 

Oh well.  I know this is a dumb blog and stupid and stuff, but I was up, and thought I'd throw something down. 

cya.  :)

Saturday, February 23, 2013

I Can Get Used To This...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I slept til like 6:00'ish.  I kinda like the sleeping in on Saturday.  I sure hope I can get up, and work on Saturdays when we start getting busier.  It seemed so easy last year, and sleep seems so good right now.  :)

Yesterday was a pretty good day.  Only bad part was when Lisa asked her Dad for some help... again, and those people are unwilling to help her out.  I told her to hang up on him.  I yelled actually.  I am sick of them.  Her Dad never did a damn thing for her, and never will.  Him and his horrible wife are miserable awful people.

Lisa didn't want to take our truck to take Hailey to see her dying aunt's last moments.  It is all for nothing anyway as she died last night.  I told Lisa that truck has lasted us all Winter.  We still have our jobs, and trust it will get you from point A to point B.  Selfish shitty people I have no time for.  Persona non Grata are they.   PERIOD...

So that was how my OOOPS!!!   I actually hit publish there. 

Anyway that is how my day ended.  So you have the view from Lisa's side of the family.  Jackie would give her shirt for any of the kids, and Hailey.  Her Dad never gave a shit about anyone but himself.  Those are not my type of people.  Screw 'em.  When people are so wrong and they don't even know it pisses me off.   That is just plain old dumb. 

Anyhooo, not much else going on.  Nothing has changed.  I still am doing what I am doing, and wonder what you people are doing.  Seems like you know in your mind that your direction is right, and you don't question anything.  



Friday, February 22, 2013

A Blog About Nothing...

Good Morning all.  How's  it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I imagine the things I have to say, and the things I believe are hard things.  Is it possible??  Can I actually be someone different'ish than what I am now, without me doing anything to make me different?? 

Yep, you sure can.  How??  How does that happen??   For me, it was a long long ride.  Really it seems the Journey for me was a long road for me to find out a lot can be done, and the stuff to be done is not done by me.  Then you have the added little thing inside me.  The internal battle.  The ultimate good vs. the ultimate bad.  Dishonesty and lies brings out bad stuff, because that is the fuel of the worst of the worst.  Lies have several layers.  Fake smiles, and fake nice, and just being a liar too actually. 

The story is totally different than anything you have learned.  Good is us when we are not all that good.  When we are humble, because of our failures as people.  Most believe we are "good" enough.  I am like you don't want to be the best person you can be?? 

I know the World is always trying to make you self help yourself, and really those people don't know Shit. 

There is a lot to do, and I am waiting on the sidelines for people to get after it.  You have your lives though.  You are going to do whatever you are going to do... I guess. 

This thing here is hard, because you cannot understand me, and you cannot even guess how I am the way I am I bet. 

I can kinda understand you, and I know how you are... sorta.   You cannot fool me.  I know how you are.   I was once like that too. 

You know I am unimpressed with people and with life.  You all have your heroes too.  People.  You need to have someone you see, and someone who is a person.  I get that I guess.  I wanted that more than anything on my Summer of Discontent, and there was no one there.  Just me, and my legs searching for my answers that came from out of nowhere. 

Oh well.   There is nothing I can do.  You know what I mean???  It is your life, and you have to sort out your own things. 

I'd say things are not going so well on that front, but we are looking at things differently, and you don't want to be caught dead reading this thing, because...  ???  

The path is to find strength.  A strength you cannot muster on your own.  You want to show your worth, and I am here telling you to be your most best way is to deny all who you are, and follow the one with the best vision. 

Oh well.  Guess it is hard stuff, but I pull, and have been pulling, and well you know the story. 

It is Friday.  We are going to get more flooring.  I am going to ride  my bike to work.  We are supposed to get some snow, but doesn't look like we got much yet. 



Thursday, February 21, 2013

What You Say Is Important...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I put a lot of trust in the people I read, because what you say when you write something is important.  Unfortunately a lot of the people I kinda "know" do physical activities to a degree, where they work hard.  So that puts them in the mind frame they are better than others in some way or another.  I agree.  Living a lazy life is a waste.  You have to do shit.  You cannot do nothing, because that just leads to depression and other stuff. 

Work, and activity is not all life is made up of though.  A tough workout you do for yourself does not help you help another out in their life's journey. 

We all have this other side to ourselves too.  The one we wish were better.  The one that no workout in the World makes better.  The imperfect us.  Inside us lives hate, and jealousy, and anger, and judgement of others, and all kinds of other stuff.  We hide this shit with a smile, and a fake smile many times. 

Do you ever wonder where this hate comes from, and jealousy, and judgement???  It comes from our view of us.  We are right,  we got our shit together, and everyone else is wrong. 

Ummmm,  We all are wrong. 

A view to ourselves helps keep hate and anger away, and judgement. 

Why???   Because we should be pissed as Hell we are not better people.   What are you doing in your life that is making you a more caring person?? 

Nothing as of yet. 

I told you the way, and you haven't believed, you haven't listened, and don't you want to be the best you, you can be??  

I would think the answer would be yes. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)    xoxo

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   Running to work today.  If I can I will.   :)   If I can't I still go on. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

What I Knew Way Back When...

Now as you know, I don't always like the heavy posts I write.  I wish my blog can mostly be silly, and fun, and stuff like that, but life isn't always like that is it??  There really is very little which is easy about life. 

As kids we are useless pretty much.  We don't like doing anything our parents want us to do, unless it is play.  Then we grow up, and learn stuff at school, and outside of school.  Do a bunch of boring Shit, and we just wanna play. 

Maybe even when  we grow up, we don't want to do the boring Shit, we always want to do what we want to do.  Different things for everyone, and I have already touched on Puberty, and you know we all end up in the same place.  6 feet under.  That is serious Shit. 

I have known since a long time ago, what I must do.  I had no idea the story would be like this.  I had no idea at all what it would look like.  As a matter of fact I though what I must do would have been done long ago. 

I say some strange stuff, and I bet it is hard to wrap your head around some stuff.  We are different.  I have been different for a long time, and it is and was hidden from all.

I have written and written, and pulled and pulled.   There is nothing I can do.  I have been patient.  I have told you many things.  Mostly it seems like people don't believe what I have told them, but your life I am guessing is going in such a way that most of you feel like you want more.

We would like to get our hands on what the best life we could imagine is.  There is another way, and it is different, and outside of your wildest imaginations.  Trust it is good.  I know we all are tied down in life, but you can be let free, and it won't cost you anything.  I know you are afraid of the costs.  You are being asked to give up so very little, although it seems like everything.

Did I know I would be writing this stuff way back when??  No.

I do though.  I have been doing this a while, and been pulling for a long time.

In my heart is patience though... mostly.  I need people to be strong in all its meanings, because things work out much better that way.

So another day, some more pulling.  Fun Fun.   :)

Have a Good one all.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   Time for me to drink my coffee.

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

So Much To Process...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I was pretty busy yesterday, as I worked a bit late, and we had to take our car in.  We think we can fix it relatively cheaply.  Drove in like a champ.  Lisa was working on some trim, and stuff so we did that a bit, and then we went out to dinner.  She closes the next two nights, and she wanted to go out.  So a pretty full day all things considered.

I did want to stop for a second and thank my anonymous commenter from the last couple posts.  It was fun and interesting to read the comments.  :)

Hold on, I am going to get my coffee.  I will brb. 

There is a lot to process in life.  Life is a very busy thing, and it gets busier all the time.  Society makes living "the good life" damn near impossible, because all the systems in place are all flawed one way or another.  In our mind we think we can attain that pot at the end of the rainbow, whatever that means to whoever.

I have come along, and told you other stuff.  Our trust has always been in what we know, and what we can understand, and a lot of times we put our faith in some person who wrote a book, because they are smart right??  They got published.

I have said things like trust, and that is the whole turn huh??   I deny myself, although, I want want want, and trust humbly, and unwillingly in the direction of another.  One with a better vision than what we can have.

I know the desires.  If I just work work work, good things will happen.  I know the stories, and I know the feelings, and I know how hard.  It wasn't that hard for me, because I wanted to be this good person, and I wanted an important life, and I wanted to be an important person.  So I went through some things, and life broke me, and I didn't know how to go about being a good person.  So the turn.  It was also easy, because I was alone, and not really doing anything really important.  I turned, and waited.  Then the things began happening.  I was asked to not take a promotion, and I walked humbly, and with a shaky voice, and told them my silly story.

Then I went through all that stuff in the early 90's.  Horrible stuff, but the energy came back one night, and I was free to live a life.   I did, and I worked hard, because I believed in that.  I made many many mistakes, because although I worked hard, I knew I had stuff to do.  I knew none of this was my story, and I still knew life was pretty dumb. 

Then things started up again.  I did blog a bit when I did My Space, and I did this political blog called "The Outside Corner"  which I did every day too, but Heimleblog was important for some reason, and then the Journey, and now the Wait.

Now we have your stories.  Whatever they are.  It is hard to get to them I see, because of whatever reasons.  Maybe we all fail in various ways, and the last thing we want to show is our failures.  I mean we all would rather just show what we perceive to be the good stuff huh??

Life and Society is one which leads only to judgement.  It takes a strength unbelievable to overcome the judgement of the World.  That is the story though huh??

A path was laid, and my job is what the job of those 12 men were.  "Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men  people. "  I originally tried doing it with the sword, and was told, I am the worst of the worst.  Basically a Scribe, Pharisee, and Hypocrite.

So what do I do???  Nothing.   All that I do has been given me.  From the day I was told to go solo through my life til now, I really know nothing.  It all is given me.  There is a way for me to be right and good, and you know what that is.  It is not something I can achieve on my own, and it is not something I can work toward.

That will happen when this blog is over, and that happens when whatever you have to do gets done.

Your Journey, your life.

Hard stuff I know.  This blog is full of hard stuff too.

There isn't anything I can do to make things easier for you either.

I can tell you all are struggling with this.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  My back is bugging me again.  A dog got loose while I was running Hope the other day, and I had to fend the dog off, and keep Hope away, and get the Hell out of there, because that would have been ugly.  Oh well.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D        xoxoxoxoxoxo    :)

Monday, February 18, 2013

Life, The Universe, and Everything...

oops,  I just published my title without the blog.  My title may be the best part of today's blog anyway.   :)

I am going to get me my cup of coffee.  It is done, so I will brb. 

I sometimes write stuff, and don't really know the importance of it until later.  My post a couple days ago had that remark of those 12 people.  That was a pretty important thing I wrote there huh??  Life is one big trap.  We get ensnared in life,  and we are not strong enough to be like those 12 are we??  So much stuff ties us down.  We have bills, and futures to plan for, and the things we hope for are important, and stuff like that.  The truth will set you free, and I have "preached" kinda the truth, and trust, and turns etc...   I know the desires of the heart, especially when the World is out there for you to take over.  Trust trumps all remember. 

It is not within your power to grab the freedom that is available.  Very little is in your power actually to make you a better person.  You can't work toward this, and you cannot work toward that, because work is zero of the equation.  There is one who does the work, but it ain't you. 

Last week for various reasons I felt very unimportant.  Many reasons, but it really is how I get treated that makes me feel that way.  When I feel that way, then I am like screw it, I won't blog. 

This blog is important, and I don't mean that in a toot my own horn kinda way.  In my heart is to value what I do here, more than anything else, so it is important. 

This blog can get weird, and there is no way around it.  This blog is here, and many words come through it.  It isn't anything really for me.  If I wake up to blog, I will blog. 

This is a hard spot, and it is why trust is so huge.  You are kinda to be strong like those 12.  You have to trust in the vision, and the direction. 

There are some hard truths out there, and I may lose some of you here, but Who comes first in your life??  The answer is you, and well, the answer for those 12 was not the same was it?? 

Strength, trust, I used words like that, and how hard are those?? 

You all are ensnared in life, and there is a way out, and it is a good way.  I have a feeling many lost their way with not enough trust, and that is a hard truth.  Many lose their way. 

So good luck.  We all have to find our way, and I am here to help.  It still isn't going to be easy, but that is part of the plan.  It isn't supposed to be easy. 

So I know this is hard stuff, and Nothing I can do to make it easy is there?? This isn't my story, and this isn't my plan, and now you can see why it is kinda a solo'ish thing huh?? 

I don't really have  signature line today, but best wishes.   :)

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I Know I Know!!

Good morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I slept til 8:00 AM this morning.  Now that is unbelievable.  I never do that.  The bed was so comfy and warm though I had to stay in. 

Today is another day, and I feel pretty good to be honest.  The last couple days my back has been bugging me, and it actually feels pretty good right now.  Go figure.  I think I will take the Hopester on a 3 miler.  People are gearing up, and getting mileage, and I am just trying to start, again, and again.  :)

This year is another year, and everything has changed a bit.  Why I know not, but we'll see where it leads.  It leads in a good direction I know that.  We are approaching the end of February.  March is just around the corner, and we'll probably start seeing pretty good temps soon. 

I am energetic, and actually have the desire to do stuff around the house.  Like I said before that left me for a couple years at least. Did 2 more boxes of flooring yesterday.  Our hall, and most of the kitchen is done.  We'll probably buy 2 more boxes next Friday.  It is on sale. 

That is all.  Not a lot going on with me.  Just your normal glam stuff you'll see here and there.  :)

Later all. 

p.s.  I am going to get McDonalds breakfast this morning after my coffee.  :)

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Not A Good Blogging Week.

Good Morning all.  I have blogged very little this week, and the reasons are who knows?? One main reason is I was not waking up to blog.  I have only run once this week.  I believe I am on my 2nd cup of coffee for the week too.  Not my best week with those things, but really had a pretty productive week at work. 

I have worked at the same place since 1994.  I originally worked at the Normal, Illinois store, and moved to Michigan for a promotion, and my Michigan life is a big part of who I am now.  With so many years under my belt perhaps I get a little blind, and a little arrogant.  I know the best way to do things type thinking.  This week I found out I was supposed to be doing something since April, 2011.  I did it this week.  It is a job that will not help me reach my bonus incentives, and it is time consuming.  It really should only take one day each month.  So I decided to look at my manual, which was updated.  I used to do my weekly stuff, and do projects here and there. 

Well you don't want to hear about my work, but I am going to do my job now more of how they want me, and I think it is the best way, and I think it will be for the better.  Ship out my arrogance, and accept the direction my superiors think is best for me.  My job is pretty solo, and I kinda call the shots of what I do on any given day, but I have guidelines.  In short it was a good work week. 

As to the blogging thing, something isn't right.   I am not sure what it is

Time will tell I guess.  Is everything good on your end??? 

I was thinking running is not my existence.  I can quit it with no worries.  It really isn't even that important to me now.  It probably helps I have my hip back thingy bugging me a bit.  My life has never been boxed into one piece where I  "need" to do this.  Perhaps that is a strength.  I can walk away from most things.  Isn't that what those 12 people did long ago when asked "come follow me" 

Stronger and better people than me and you huh??  

Have a good one all. 


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Not What I Expected...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had one of those Mondays where everything went wrong, and you know sometimes you just have to laugh.  You may think I am some crazy ass dude who doesn't pay attention to how I "should" be in life, and just lives off the seat of my pants.  Well... perhaps you are right.  I bring that shit to work too. 

It may seem like it is just Hipster living or some other Bullshit, but maybe it is just an eyesight that lets me judge what is stupid, and not gonna stress over it.  Goddamn Sociology majors want the World to scrutinize every fucking minutia detail, because you know,  There are spreadsheets and databases that can keep track of everything.

There is life out there.  It is worth living, and if you are crossing all your t's, and dotting all you i's, you are probably missing out.  Take a look at yourself when you are dead.   Imagine yourself.   Now what is so important while that you are sitting in your coffin??  Know what I mean??  Fuck all the Shitty Fucking Sociology majors.   {My apologies if any Sociology Majors read this.   ;)   }

So on this day, I am going to go for an early morning run.  I will take the Hopester.  I didn't run at all this weekend.  Tonight I am going to make me some Chicago Style Hotdogs for dinner.  Lisa closes.

That my friends is a good day.  Up early.  Do this stupid thing, and work, and get a work out in.

Later Fuckers.   


Sunday, February 10, 2013

When The Hell Did I Get Old??

OMG, I had a few beers for lunch, and was planning on maybe a couple more drinks at home after...   UGHHHH,  nooooooooo.   That would = one more, and straight to bed for me. 

I have so very little to say here today.  Reason I didn't blog yesterday too.  This blog gets kinda weird at times, and honestly that is really strange to me on mornings like this.  Like some days in my heart there are some very important things to say. 

That is one of the weird things about me, is my heart gets filled with this and that, and out comes whatever.  I mean really it is like I get taken over, and put whatever down.  This morning everything is pretty clear, and this blog seems strange on the big entries I have done in the past. 

These are the things I cannot predict.  I cannot predict what I am going to feel, and what I am going to write about day after day.  Who knows?? 

We are supposed to have a pretty warm day today for this time of year.  Above 40 with some rain, so we will get rid of some of the snow we just got.  Mild temps for the next 10 days or so too. 

What are my plans and my goals??  I'd like to run a bit more.  Maybe do a run to work and back a couple times this week.   I am excited for the future here.  In my heart is the desire to do some stuff around the house.   Trust me, it has been years, since I have felt like doing anything other than dishes, and general upkeep.  I am going to re-do our kitchen/hallway, and dining room floors.  One box at a time.  Flooring can be expensive, but buy a box or so each week, it isn't too bad. 

We also decided to fix our old car.  We think the head gasket is out, so I think for $1500 we can get it fixed, and get two new tires on it.  I am sure we can get another few years out of it. 

That all is pretty positive in my eyes.  Get better at running... AGAIN.   :)   projects around the house. 

Today I will get a run in, and finish laundry, and folding.  Maybe we will see a movie too.  Who knows. 

Told you, not a lot on my mind.  

Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzz  Gaterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  :)

Friday, February 8, 2013

Might As Well Get Some Coffee...

Good Morning all, and Happy Friday to you.  I am going to get me a cup of coffee.  brb. 

So anyway I have a very big decision to make.  We got a good amount of snow last night, and it is of the heavy variety.  Do I run, try my bike, or just drive to work??  Oy...   Life is so fricken hard.  I am not sure as of right now.  I think I may run however.  I will leave myself plenty of time, in case it is really hard trudging through the snow.  I will also have to carry a back pack with my clothes in, so should be interesting. 

Other than that, I cannot predict the other major decisions I will have to make today.  Dinner appears to be something that will show up.  Do we go out to lunch??   @ Lisa doesn't close today. 

What will I do when I get home??  watch t.v.??  Read a book??  Listen to music??   Play break the brick game on my phone?? 

YIKES!!   I have no idea...   You can probably throw out the read the book thing, because haven't been into reading lately for whatever reason.  We are thinking of redoing our kitchen/hallway/dining room floor.  We hate the crap we put down.  It was dumb. 

So as you can see there is a lot going on in my life.  You know what??  I have a lot of these decisions to make every day.  

You know why life is hard, it just hit me.  It is very black and white, although really gray.  Should I do this??   Should I do that??  What are the positives??  What are the negatives.   Let's do a cost/benefit analyses, and maybe the short term benefits seem good, because you know Enron's Balance Sheet looked so good. 

Are you tired???   Does life just beat you down??  Day after day after day.  What is the best a person can be, and what is the best a person can do?? 

So many questions, and there are answers.  I cannot even begin to tell you about me right now, although I have said many things in the past. 

Aren't you tired??  Is there something more out there than the day to day you are living now?? 

In our hearts forever lives.  We plan and plan and plan.  Our retirement, and this and that.  Life is boring if you have nothing to do.  You retire when you are planning on dying, unless you actually like doing nothing, but who likes that?? 

So anyway I am just doing this thing.  Some days it is easy, well most days, even though I might not have a ton on my mind. 

Today I pretty much have nothing on my mind... obviously.  It is Friday, I get to work, and will probably have a pretty challenging commute to work.  So that is all good. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  Life is so simple stupid, but only after you do some things.  It isn't you who figure things out, it is given to you.  Sooooooo strange, I cannot even explain.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Thursday, February 7, 2013


Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I have absolutely nothing to blog about at all.  I am up however, so guess I will get something down. 

Not a lot going on.  You know my life.  Glam Glam Glam.  It is so fucking crazy glamorous, I don't even know where to begin.

Some things I thought about this morning were something I said yesterday.  Blogging the past several years has always been the most important thing I have done.  It has been several years huh??  I cannot even remember which year I started. AND WHY??

I had 2 marathons in, and believe it or not, I actually did one triathlon too.  A small one.  400M in the pool.  18 miles or so on the bike, and like a 5K.  It was fun.  Then I swam miles and miles and miles in the pool only to never do another tri.  I think my form was so bad, I messed up my back.  So running and biking it was.

Definitely been unlucky the last couple years with injuries.  Also my motivation isn't that high really.  Many reasons, and maybe the #1 reason is My Journey is over.  I am done.  I have this one thing to do, and it sounds crazy, and who can believe it??

What a long and strange and crazy life this is.  From the Early 90's through my various blogs to right here right now.   A lot of people have a lot of stuff to do.  A life to go through.  I know I bring a different message than what you have been taught, and what you are used to.  The World has always been upside down.  We just never knew it.

Why do I have to bring this message??  If you have been through the things I have been through, I don't know if you would call it luck.  I was picked to live a life of suffering.  Not only did I have to suffer things only known by me, but also have taken some of the harder parts of people's own suffering they couldn't handle on their own.

I have been through a lot.  What happens from right now to when I do my final thing, I don't know.  I hope it runs smoothly, but there are always bumps in the road here and there.  Those bumps help make us stronger.  The message is eventually about being good, but that is not now.  the message now is to be strong.  Trust, strength, honesty, truth.  etc...  These things are in our power, and honesty is always right.  It works.  Honesty ain't always the easiest is it??  Why is that??   Because none of us are really all that fabulous, and who really wants to show our not so fabulous side??  None.

It is the way we go though.  Like I have said before the race of life is not won without support.  We will win this thing, but who can see where it is leading??  I  sure can't.  That is where trust comes in.  Our eyesight really isn't all that great, so we have to believe the path we are on is going in a good direction.  There will be hardships along the way, because that helps us.  Life is about doing some tough stuff.  No way around it.

So in the words of Avril Lavigne.  "keep holding on"   "There is no other way when it comes to the truth"   "Just stay strong"  

Life is an ugly game where no one wins.  The deck is stacked against us all, because Fabulous people were the ones making the rules, and they are no better than us.  They just looked nice in the suits of fashion of the day.

So on this day, I will run to work.  No better way to start the day.  IMHO.  Yes yes yes, I am lucky I have energy to do this stuff in the morning.  Remember when I used to always have to rush to be 15 minutes after the 2-1/2 hours early I'd like to be??   HA HA.  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Got most of our bathroom done.  Sink is back in.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

New Week'ish

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  This is my first blog of the week, and my first cup of coffee of the week too.  I blog if I wake up, and feel like it.  Monday, I stayed up late Sunday to watch the Super Bowl.  I was VERY surprised I wasn't tired on Monday.  Tuesday, I didn't wake up.  Today, I wanted to stay in bed and sleep, but then I wasn't tired anymore, and it was 3:00 AM, so I figured I should blog.

Not a lot going on.  We are finishing up our upstairs bathroom.  I think it has been unfinished for like 2 years.   Where does the time go??   ;)   Lisa is of course is doing most of the work, and I do the stuff she cannot do.  Plumbing, and heavy stuff, and what not.  It isn't anything major, just some minor repairs and stuff like that.  The last piece I had to take out the pedestal lav, and will have to put it back in when she is done.

So that is that.  Running is not where it should be, and really not anywhere near it.  My most favoritest time to run is early morning, and well I have been sleeping in.  You know me, 10:00 AM at work, I am going to do ALL THESE THINGS.  1:00 at work, I don't want to do a damn thing.

Hopefully that gets back on track.  If not no biggie.  I don't push myself, I go with how I feel.  Is that the best way to go??  If you have goals no.  I don't have any goals.  Decisions and turns in my life make me who I am.

This blogging for the last several years was always more important than anything else I have done.  The things I have gone through have made me strong, and No one could be the way I am if they didn't have help.  A life solo is a losing adventure.  You cannot go all "Into The Wild" to find your answers.  They are all right here in your life day in day out.  Need to keep the eyes open.  Realize you aren't perfect, and improving your imperfections on your own ain't the path.  Truth, honesty, and trust is the path.  A LOT HARDER.  

There is no path to fabulous that you make on your own.  You have a path to greatness, and it isn't easy.  You don't make it, and you are not the brains behind the wheel.  Isn't that comforting??  I know I see a lot of the Shit you people think about and things you know.  I wouldn't want to follow your own led path either.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Blackhawks are 8-0-2 OT losses.  8 of the games were on the road.  Ummm, they good.   :D

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Boat Load Of Ugly.

So anyway the week was not going as good as I wanted.  A microcosm of our lives??  My life is generally pretty easy.  I do my work thing, which I enjoy.  This week was productive.  The highlights of my day typically are the end.  A meal and relaxing, typically with a drink or so. 

I expect this blog thing to go better than it does.  Also a microcosm of our life.  Expectations always more than the truth of life. 

Anyway, as I ranted yesterday in the only way I know how by unloading, it appears I have a boat load of ugly in me at times. 

It appears the quickest way to my shit side is making Lisa mad.  To which her Dad, and mean, and spiteful, and hateful step mom did.  For their horrendous selfish and shallow actions, I am blowing off their celebration of their 25th anniversary of both their 2nd marriages.  Screw them.  Lisa has done far too much for far too long, I am not going to stand for their stupid shit. 

Yes, I think the step mom should know she has a lot of hate, and spite in her, and it makes her a miserable person.  The things she deems more important than anything are worth nothing when she is dead.   You ever talk to her, you can see the hate in her eyes.  Hate comes from a life unfulfilled.  High expectations in life typically = unhappiness in some way. 

Keeping things real is hard, because well, we are bombarded with fabulous lives all around us.  don't buy into it.  Tiger Woods is still Tiger Wood, and same thing with Lance.  It is you, and your life.  We all make mistakes, we all fail at stuff.  We all wish we were better in various ways.  We all are alike. 

Hate lives in everything that is false.  the World is made up of 99% false shit, so it will be the strong, and the honest who will do the great things in this World. 

I am glad I am strong enough to unload my boatload of ugly crap, because it is healthy to do so.  Aren't we all "supposed" to be a different way though??

The answers to life just may turn your World upside down. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I absolutely loved my run to work yesterday through unplowed sidewalks and icy streets.  Nothing is better than an early morning run to work.  Or bike to work.  :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Friday, February 1, 2013


Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay.  I have a love hate thing with this blog.  Hate when I feel no one reads it, which is what I am going through now. 

My coffee is done, so I will get it.

Anyway life is unpredictable.  I feel blogs should be a person telling people about them, and I guess I have done that, and I do that, and maybe people don't have a good eye into their life.  Maybe people are all tied up into M-F, the weekend.  Life is one big blur, and we have no view really of our life compared to our expectations.

So I am frustrated today, and disappointed.  This thing here is a one way street, and it should be a two way street.

My expectations vs. what really is happening.

I think people's questions are more interesting than what they believe are the "correct" answers.   If you have more answers than questions you are arrogant, and a piece of shit, and most of the crap coming out of your mouth is horseshit.

I am reminded of a blog I read yesterday.  Sara from Kuwait.  I feel   know she is getting an answer, and it is the last thing she believes is true.  A very hard thing to accept, because we believe certain things, and maybe the higher truth is not what we expect.

Aren't we supposed to be a certain way??  Aren't we always supposed to believe certain things??   To accept the truth is hard, and I know that now from her blog.

Who we really are is different than who we feel we are "supposed" to be.  The answers to life are different than what we "think" they should be.  Remember words like strength, and brace yourself for the hard truths you may find.

The numbers in the day of Noah are not favorable.  Those who believed that crazy dude did so at the expense of "seeming" foolish.  The "wise" ones just kept doing the same ole same ole.

I am tired of the same ole.  I may not suffer fools much longer.  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  some days the signature line is stronger than others.  Been pretty weak the last two days.   Nice to see you around though, in the little area I see you in.   :)    xoxo

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D