Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I Was Wondering...

Well good morning.  I was kind of wondering what drives me crazy the most, and it just hit me.  You all think you are Saints,  You think there are Saints, or you try and show people you are some version of a Saint.  Ummmmm wrong on all counts.  You have yet to acknowledge or accept you are not that.  You cannot be that.  Anything or anybody who told you or taught you are one is WRONG!!!

So quit pretending.  He or she did this, and I do this does not a Saint make you be.  You dig??  Truth Truth Truth...

Maybe you look in at yourself and you are scared, because you think is this the best I can be??  On your own yes.  You won't get better, and as a matter of fact as YOU and the picture of YOU gets closer you will think you are actually getting worse. 

As I have said for a while.  We are not that fucking great.  Don't pretend you are. 

Do you have the courage, and the strength to be completely honest??  Honest is the only right thing. 

If you look somewhere for Saints you won't find them.  It sure ain't those people who wear weird costumes.  There are warnings about that.  They would rather you look at their costumes, instead of what is inside them.  Their whole worth is their costumes. 

That is what drives me crazy.   YOU!!!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Well Fuck...

Okay, so I just wrote like 2 paragraphs of some horseshit, which means I have absolutely nothing today.  I have been watching a lot of the Olympics which has surprised me.  I didn't think I'd get into it that much, but it has bee pretty good.  I ran only 14 miles yesterday, not 15.  I should eat breakfast if I am going to run that long.  I should take a gel too.  I felt pretty good the whole time.  I was hitting the zone where I was concentrating on my run.  Not really thinking about a lot, but just running.  At about mile 13 of the run, I was like, why am I training for a marathon??   I hate this shit.  :)

What is going on with me??  Not much at all.  It is Monday.  I am in a good mood.  I am going to work.  Tonight will be a wine night.  Tuesday starts my running block.  Lisa is off today and tomorrow.  She took an extra day off.  Anyone get happy like that, when your significant other gets to sleep in, and do whatever the Hell she wants??  Relax, read, a little housework. etc...   I love that shit for some reason. 

Holy Fuck, I got nothing.

Have a Great Day everyone!!!   :)

Later Gaterzzzzz.   :)

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Hi,  I haven't blogged in a while.. at least for me.  Reasons??  A lot, I guess.  I have been a bit off I guess.  No biggie.  I had a good stretch of running T-Tr.  Thursday being a really good effort,  a almost feel like puking at the end effort.  I don't push myself like that very often. 

Anyway, the thing on my mind is sleep.  Very important to how we feel.  After a hard Thursday effort, those that know me know I don't sleep well after those for some reason.  I managed a whopping 3 hours of sleep I guess that night, which made for a sluggish Friday.  So, I thought I'd do what I normally do on those days.  Have a couple drinks, and listen to music, and fall asleep.  Actually, I didn't enjoy that very much, so pretty much went to sleep after one drink.  That fucked up my sleep for Friday.  I was up around 6 or 7:00.  I was watching the Sox via the internets, and was up til 12:00 or so.  I worked at 5:00 am.  I knew not to try to run to work, and actually only worked like 4-1/2 hours.  I came home, and made a steak at like 10:00 am, and watched Baseball and the Olympics all day. 

I don't know how sleep gets messed up.  For me it usually doesn't, but it sure put me out of whack.  Luckily I fell asleep early last night, and am pretty well rested.  I have coffee going, and am running long today.  It isn't August yet, but I plan on getting my first 15 miler in.  4 before, and the regular 11. 

Other than that one more thing on my mind this morning.  Peace is fragile.  Look how WWI started.  Over something stupid.  As most of you know the Western World- Developed Countries- have a bit of a debt problem.  Most people look at it with a macro vision.  Country-Country-Country, but look at it in the micro  People-People-People.  People who many have followed the rules of the day pretty well.  They were promised this and that, and this and that.  Best intentions and all that.  Make a better life for people.  Now all of a sudden due to really no one's fault a lot of promises are going to be taken away from people.  People are going to get angry, because of unfulfilled promises.  Some Countries will share a bigger burden, and all it takes is a strong confident voice to whip the people up in a frenzy. 

We are not that smart of people you know??  We have people who put a lot of time in their lives just to make sure people have the right to carry automatic weapons on our street.  Slippery slide argument crap.  NRA made a killing on slippery slide arguments.  So did that one tax dude on K street. 

Life is complicated.  People for the most part want to do right.  As misguided as our knowledge gets us.  I say prepare, and accept for an ugly World.  You'd be silly to think that things cannot get bad.  All the powers that be have created a financial system which is bound to fail.  People are divided, and I just think it is an imperfect system.  You cannot fix all of life's ills with $$$$.  Yet all our lives we spend how much time thinking about it??  Society is flawed, and not perfect, and Wars happen, and people snap and ugly shit can happen.

What do you do???  Accept the bad parts of life.  Live life as you want.  Keep your eyes open.   Don't take just pretty pictures.  Don't gloss over the ugly parts of life.  It is there it is real.  You know??

Do what the fuck you want, but be honest.  Trust what your eyes see, and don't be scared of what is true and what is honest. 

Ya dig?? 

Be brave and be strong in all things. 

O.K.???   You fucking pussies.   :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :) 

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  Kenny Williams GM of the White Sox is creative.  Thinks outside the box.  Tries new things, and isn't afraid to fail.  His courage has made him a pretty dang good GM I'd say. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Some Days It Just Clicks...

Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Yesterday I had a real good day, so that was nice.  I added I guessed a mile or so to my run to work.  I would have run more, but had to head home to poop.  I got 8+ miles in, and had a productive day at work.  I ran home, and had a productive day at home.  It was then time to relax, and that is what I did.  I had one of those days too where I stayed off the internets for the most part.  Nothing wrong with that either.  :)  Actually I kinda enjoyed it.  I may do more of that.  :) 

Today I will have to hit the trails when I get home.  It is supposed to be pretty hot, but for some reason I am embracing the heat this year.  Maybe it has something to do with keeping expectations low when the elements are hard.  When it is 97 you are not going to run all that well, or feel all that great, so I guess I just hafta be smart about it. 

Actually I have absolutely nothing today, so I am going to drink my coffee, and relax for a bit before I get ready for work. 

Later all.  :)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Black Cloud...

Boy, have I had a black cloud over me the past few days.  You go through a stretch where maybe you feel a bit down, and you wonder why??  I will live with it.  It is life.  Can't always be up you know??  I took Monday off from running, because it is my day off.  I went and had a couple beers after work, because it was ONE of those Mondays.  Does having a beer after work on Monday ever help with anything??  no.   :)   Just something to do.  The only real memorable thing about it is driving home.  It was warm, and I wished I could run.  Today is a run day though.  The best thing I did this weekend is not go to work on Saturday.  My change of clothes are still at work.  I can run to work, and even add a couple miles to my run to work.  I can also run back from work, and maybe get in like 9 miles today.  Goal for Tuesday was to add miles.  :) 

Black cloud appears to be disappearing, and Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday is a good stretch of training for me.  I have endured my fair share of injuries too, but you know one thing that happens??  Some people are very talented, and can do well in races with sub-optimal training.  I can only get so good, but I can train.  I can challenge myself with distances, and trying new plans etc...  That is something about life I enjoy.  I know I get down sometimes, and remember that one time when I gave up??  I said I am done,  I cannot do it anymore.  Well, I am in good hands.  Sometimes life is about enduring things, and it ain't such a hard thing for me to be taken to my breaking point, but that wasn't the lesson.  The lesson was I am not all powerful.  I am not strong enough to overcome all the things in life, but with help I can do a lot. 

I learned to accept my weakness, and was made strong.  I was taught in such a way so I know I am not all that fabulous, even though all you think I am.   :)   j/k.   HA HA!!

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  tacos for dinner tonight.  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Monday, July 23, 2012

Something At Least...

Okay, I am going to get something down, although I don't really have anything, and not even sure if I want to do this, but I will anyway.  We got our run in yesterday, and I didn't add any miles.  I really have to next weekend though.  I have a plan though.  Run to where we meet up.  That adds 5 miles the there and back.  Piece of cake. 

Wanna know what we talk about on our runs?? 

Me-  "You know I am not even sure if I am going to show up to run the marathon even though I am signed up"

Ken-  "Yeah I do this to stay in shape, and I'll probably do the half.  I could probably run the half tomorrow if I wanted."   "I do it to stay in shape, I am not going to win any races, and if I P.R. I am the only one who cares about it." 

No illusions.  We know this stuff is not important in any way.  It helps us stay a bit fit, and eat what we want without gaining a ton of weight.  Part of the how big our life thing is huh??  We think our life is big, and what we do is so important, and I told you a while ago, it really isn't.  In the grand scheme of things we are really small, but in our heads we are really big. 

You may think the toughest thing I do is wake up when I do, even though I haven't really used an alarm in several years.  There is no snooze I hit.  My watch goes off at 2:00 am for 10 beeps, and like this morning I didn't hear it, but I decided to get out of bed at 3:30 or so.  Internal alarm clock, I guess we all are used to. 

I don't know what happens from here on out.  Life is a wait and see huh??  See where this all leads.  I think it is good to have no illusions though.  That is the tough stuff.  To look at life with real eyes.  Accept flaws, instead of burying them.  All you do, and all you think about you still do, even if you are the only one you let know of the things you do, and the things you think about.  We all have stuff we think about that is pretty personal to us, and maybe even embarrassing.

I don't know about girls, but I know guys pretty well having been one for a long time.  :)   Life is crazy complicated.  People get really tied down in all kinds of ways.  Eat this, eat that.  Work out this long. One of the things we all have in common is we have an idea of what a good and decent person does, and how they act, and we probably fail to live up to that.  We all are guilty of the well I did this and this, and he/she did that and that.  I am good right, but like I have said before, that is not how life works.  It is just you. You know your life, and you kinda know you.  It all counts too.  You cannot bury you or your past away, because it is all real.  You know what I mean???  Just cause you bury whatever doesn't mean it goes away.  Here is I guess what I have been saying, is you have been given a gift.  A gift to deal with your past, because that is part of the plan. 

Like I said, I don't know where this is heading now, but it is a wait and see.  My blog name is the wait too, so that is good. 

Later all...

Sunday, July 22, 2012

WOAH... A Lot On My Mind...

Where to start??  Well yesterday was just an awful day.  I woke up in a bad mood.  I was running a little late, but no biggie.  I started running to work.  I got a block, and thought, why not take the day off??  I am not scheduled on Saturdays, so that was an easy thing to talk myself into.  I thought I'd take Hope for a little run, and talked myself into going back to bed.  :)  I did not run yesterday.  After I slept I watched two movies.  I was in a pretty bad mood still though. 

One of those days.  Some shit just throws me over the top too.  I see people have a dilemma, and we are split in two.  We have an idea in our heads of what a good and decent person is "supposed" to be like.  What they are supposed to like, and how they are supposed to act, but all that is in our head is what our own simplistic understanding brings us too.  That stuff is pretty foolish, a waste of time, etc..  I see some stupid shit, and I am like really??  That is the extent of what the fuck you think about??  No it isn't, because your heart is leading you to another place.  A place to find wisdom, but for some fucking reason you want to hold onto the simpler Bullshit that you feel is a safe place, but it is where fools live.  Think about shit you think is "right"  Now go to your heart, do you really give a fuck about that??  See what I mean??  You can throw away like 90% of the shit in your head, because it doesn't mean shit. 

Follow your heart, and see where your thoughts lead you to.  Just have a little bit of courage and throw away the stupid shit.  So many of the things in your life you have no control over.  There is no reason on your part that you did not grow up a kid in Africa who was malnourished, and in poverty.  Nothing did you do on your part that you are not now a 15 year old fighting in Syria.  You did nothing to make sure you did not grow up in Saudi Arabia where hate is the teaching of the day.  As a matter of fact hate is the teaching of the day everywhere.  I hate Republicans, I hate Democrats.  I hate everyone in Afghanistan who is not part of the coalition of the willing.  We definitely hate everyone in Iran.  The nerve of them people being born in that Country.  Let's wipe them off the face of the Earth.  They shouldn't be going after Nuclear technology, because we would never do anything to them like we did to Iraq.  We like brown'ish people.  Doesn't our history prove that?? 

The world is full of a bunch of bullshit.  It is ugly, and hate is the thing we hold onto, because it is powerful, and it makes us feel strong, but throw it away.  You can actually throw everything away if you want, it won't hurt you.  Why???  There is no such thing as happily ever after.  The white picket fence is bullshit.  All we strive for is vanity of vanities. 

Something about me, and this will be strange.  I have told you this before.  I don't know why it is this way, but if you don't read this fine.  If you do read this and tell me in some way you don't that is bad.  Why???  I have no idea.  I mean it is bad not in my eyes, because in my head I shouldn't really give a shit, but for some reason it is.  It is the Iz night all over you know??  My brother Jim was a negative commenter, which is just lying basically, and I had to take all his baggage, which was very very very significant.  I remember waking up the next day after the Iz thing.  My Twitter was gone, and I defriended a bunch of people, and I was like WTF is going on??  I had no idea I took Jim's shit, until he died.  I did not let him come live with us, because I couldn't handle another lazy person living with me.  So he lost his last bit of unconditional love, and he was alone.  Alone to find his way, and he found it.  Just like Steve Rose, and the path is one of humility.  What we show people in our head is ourselves trying to put ourselves on a pedestal.  See I think this, I must be good right?? 

If you want to know what is good, it is the thief on the cross.  A life wasted, but with humility he said I am getting what I deserve.  The wicked and bad people were the ones on the ground.  The judgers.   That is you and everyone else.  Your path is the thief, and trust me, you don't want to remain a judger.  That leads nowhere good. 


Saturday, July 21, 2012


Well, I wasn't going to write a blog today, because... well here it is.  I thought yesterday's post was a good one, and no comments = shitty blog probably, so whatever.  If I were to make a guess, I'd have to say I am probably the only person who reads this dumb ass thing.  It is why I hate this fucking blog.  Many mornings you wake up, and you want to throw the whole fucking thing away.  Why bother??  I have my own life, and it is good enough for me you know?? 

Oh well,  I continue on.  Reason I am blogging today is because I hung out at Beau, and Charity's house yesterday, and I guess over the last week or so I have been thinking of their changes.  Now, I have known Charity probably since '96, and Beau since '97 or '98.  I know their lives pretty well you know??  Even Jacob was there after Beau shortly after.  Charity and Beau are ready to have a kid of their own.  The baby is dropping and is a couple weeks out.  I have been reading blogs of pregnant girls for some reason, and Moms and stuff.  It isn't  because I like babies, because I really am not a fan.  As with most blogs you get to know people, and it is the people you are interested in.  Mostly honesty, and a view point etc...  I like strong people, and funny people. 

Anyway our lives go along day after day, and not much changes, but pretty soon it will for them two.  No doubt they are going to lose a bit of freedom. I assume it is exciting at first, and to me it seems like a lot of hard work.  You have just added hours to your week, and you are going to fail at this job. 

SHIT!!  I said it.  A game you will not win.  Our life in a nut shell huh??  Here is me,  I have life,  I lose.  A tough road.  My road in life was pretty fricken hard to be honest, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  :)   I guess I am being a downer, and I don't mean to be, but be real and be honest with yourselves.  The game of life is one we lose.  We fuck up all kindsa things, and we die.  It is just you too.  There is no look at what that dude in Colorado did??  Who knows his reasons??  Only one knows his path, and it isn't him.  Chances are he doesn't know what makes him so angry to kill a bunch of people he doesn't know.  It shouldn't surprise us though, because decisions are made at the highest levels to kill people we don't know.  It has been done to death, and if History is filled with one thing it is of death.  Some natural causes, and some by decisions made by people. 

Life is ugly.  A lot of crap to it.  Girls are pretty, and guys are funny, but a girl probably never feels always pretty, and guys have confidence issues too, but we hide them in our stoic personalities. 

Oh well, I am going to stop there.  I feel better after I blog for whatever reason.  I don't put a lot of thought into it you know.  I don't think I am very fabulous at all. 

Have a good one all.   :)   I feel much better already.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  My cat is sleeping on the ironing board.  

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Friday, July 20, 2012

Just In Case We Forgot...

Well, we definitely had a good reminder day that running can be fun.  Last night we ran, and it was in the 70's.  Woo Hoo!!!   Just to give you an idea of the church trail, 2 loops is a 5K course basically.  If you were to run the 5K course as a race, you'd probably have to add 4 minutes to your time.  It ain't easy.  I ran 4 loops for the very first time.  My legs were fatigued after the 3rd loop, but I went on and did the 4th, and felt fine, once I got going.  We stopped for a drink.  I arrive early to get 2 loops, and run 2 with Ken and Jerry, although Jerry rode his bike.  Nursing a pulled calf.  That has been nagging him for a bit, so Doc said take a week off. 

I definitely felt good though.  Like everything is coming together, or running in cooler temps.  Who knows.  I actually timed this run, and in a non-scientific analyses, I figure I am at 24:00'ish 5K fast.  I have a ways to go, but it was my first timed run in a while, and I haven't run these trails consistently for a few years.  So who knows.  At least I finally feel like I am getting somewhere. 

What Else is going on??  Not much.  It is Friday,  Lisa closes, so we'll do lunch before she goes in.  Friday is a do nothing day, and Saturday is a run to work and back day.  My life ain't complicated.  I actually have a pretty easy schedule I'd say.  I don't really carry a lot of baggage either.  In life we all need help.  We have a past, all of us, and since people are never perfect, than either is our past.  We believe in the fairy tale unconditional love, and well, that isn't always the case is it??  Life is full of a lot of stuff.  We have all these things we want to do, but our lives are shared with people we care about too, and they have wants and stuff.  As with almost all things in life where do you find the balance??  My wants, and my time spent for me, and the time I should spend with cared ones wants and needs.  That is one reason we all feel lost at times, is who has the knowledge and wisdom to be in the right balance in all things about our life??  No one huh?? 

Life is fricken complicated to say the least.  I guess if one were to paint a broad picture of the world, and all the people in it, you could do worse than say we are all selfish people.  Me Me Me,  I want, I want, I want. 

I don't really have a lot of baggage, because my life I have dealt with.  It frees you up.  I could give you all the steps I have taken, but I think you know them.  I was led on a path, that was just nuts.  None have walked my exact path, and none have walked yours.  You are solo baby.  A one of a kind.  There is so much stuff inside us that shields us from the truth.  We don't ever always even get a true picture of ourself.  Truth and Honesty is a Journey.  Remember the word journey too, it signifies time and travel.  Our lives are not an overnight thing.  Here is what I have been saying too I guess.  No one likes hard times.  No one likes the difficult things in life, but I said trust.  You are being led in a good way.  Stay strong in all things as much as you can.  We all fail at that, but do your best.  If you are in a race you have a plan and you stick to it, and do your best.  I guess what I have been saying in life, let go of the plan.  Trust there is a better one, and one with better vision.  That is the hard thing, but no one is so far away they cannot be taken in.  The truth sets you free, and that is our journey.  Embrace time, and embrace patience.  Take a deep breath, and realize this that goes on is good.  You don't always feel great the way things are going, but trust trust trust.  Don't trust yourself so much, because we are flawed.  Your life is progressing in ways for a reason, so be open to everything, and be open to what lessons are being taught you.  :)

LOL,  I thought I had nothing.  

I leave a few pics of flowers.  It is for someone who got flowers before on my blog.  If she reads this, she will be able to tell they are for her.  :)

Not many people get flowers on my blog.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  Holy crap I got nothing for a p.s.  Oh well, can always add these.  xoxoxo.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thankful It Is Thursday...

Good Morning All.  You know the routine, I will just get something down, and see what comes up.  I had a pretty good day yesterday.  I woke up well rested, and really early for some reason, so I was able to get a bit of a run in before work, and run the trails after work.  At the end of my trail run, my legs were wobbly, so I'll take that as a good workout.  All things point to a good mileage week this week, so I'd have to say I finally recovered from that blasted vacation thing.  :)

Today, I will give myself another good workout hitting the church trails.  I can always tell when I start getting in a bit better shape.  My face looks skinnier to me, and my wrists start looking skinnier.  It isn't even August yet, so I'd say things are going pretty good for me. 

Enough of that anything else going on??  No not really.  Some things are on my mind, I guess, but I don't know how to write it maybe.  I think a real look at life with a good set of eyes you get a pretty good view of how silly a lot of crap is.  We put our trust, and faith in some crazy ass shit, but we are blinded, due to various propaganda of society, and all that entails.  You have to realize that is a struggle.  Like I have said before don't trust in your own understanding.  What is wrong with seeking higher truths and higher learning.  Some stuff you cannot learn in a book you know??

Our lives are pretty big to us too remember.  What we deem to be so fricken important, many of us don't really give a crap about.  You look at all there is to accomplish in the World, and the sad fact is not very much, because like I have said before when you are 6' under you won't care, and either will anyone else.  I don't mean that as a downer, although it may sound like it.  Remember a long time ago when I said stupid FB updates are important cuz Life is just ludicrous, or something like that.  Have fun, be silly, go crazy once in a while, because you are going to have shit to deal with.  Here is the thing too, you will have to deal with it.  That is what life is about, and that is what My Journey was about.  Our past we have to deal with.  Whatever that is. 

You want to show me how fabulous you are I will probably not give a crap, because I think life is stupid, but in a fun way most times.  I don't take any of this Horseshit on Earth very serious.  Some of the stupidest shit ever.  Americans are pretty much blinded from one side to another, and anyone with a true set of eyes can tell we put a lot of faith in two dumb, rotten, greedy, corrupt Political Partys.  That is what your Education has brought you too??  Quit watching the news and get outside FFS.   :)

One other thing you are better and more interesting too than you think.  Especially when we can get deeper and further than just the day to day.  Sometimes it isn't there, but sometimes it is.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  White Sox used their 9th starter last night.  ooops.  :)  Still in 1st place.  Your Yanks are unbeatable.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I Recommend Green 47 Over The Candle Snickers...

Yep, you will get some good information on this Blog.  Heck on just the title of this update I give you some good info you probably never thought about before.  :)

You know the routine.  Coffee, and I will brb.  :)

Well as you may or may not know running in heat is not always my best, or my favorite.  As someone who used to run while timing all my runs the 1.9 mile mark of my runs was a time gauge for me.  If I saw a crappy time at the 1.9 mile mark on a hard run in a million degree temps.  it would be a disappointment, at least in past years.  I don't time my runs anymore.  I forgot how to use my stop watch.  :)  Don't really care though, but I felt good yesterday.  It was mid to upper 90's and humid, but the legs were going pretty good.  I planned on my 6 mile route, and had two water stops strategically placed after my 4.25 mile turn. (Who needs waters stops on a 6 mile run??)   Meaning I could not shorten my run.  I felt surprisingly good on this run, and I was thinking of adding miles.  Then I made the turn at mile 3, and everything was falling apart pretty quickly.  Ahhhhh,  no more shade.  The sun in those conditions is just unrelenting.  Now It was just finish.  I am done after this run, so just get it done.  I kept moving and moving and moving.  I decided to cut my route to 5.5, but stopped running at 5 miles to walk it in, because I had to poop.  I don't know the correlation to effort vs. crappy weather, but I am sure my effort was more than a 5 mile effort.  If it was 80 degrees, I would have planned like an 8 mile run or so.  Tuesday is my mileage add day, but that will have to wait til next week.  I wanted to not really up the training til August anyway, and it isn't August. 

So there.  That was the important thing of my day.  Get my run in, and although it wasn't all I hoped it would be, it was like 97 fricken degrees out, so I did pretty good. 

Other than that anything on my mind?? nah... not really.  You know me, just doing this little ole blog thing.  Sometimes there is stuff, and sometimes not.  Today there isn't much. 

I guess, I will go run some hills before work. 

You want to know something about me??  I have said it before.  I love when my workout(s) are done, and the rest of the day is mine.  That is my all time favorite time of the day.  I don't stay up late, so it is good for me to get it in early.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  This is also one of my favorite times of the day.  Up early, and ready to start the day.  :) 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Good Morning!! :)

Hello all, how is it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  As usual, I don't have much on my mind.  I will just jot down some crap and go from there.  How does that sound??  

Ken, and I got our run in yesterday, and I feel a whole lot better this week.  It was humid, and a bit muggy, but I felt pretty good.  Probably getting over the 30 mile mark again, and being active with work is probably what helped me this week.  My brother John was in town visiting friends.  As it would happen he hung out with them, and I had plans with some other friends, so we just did lunch, and caught up. 

I came home, and listened to music whilst watching the White Sox via the internets.  Man when your team is doing good Baseball season is great.  We are playing pretty good.  We win some high scoring affairs, and like yesterday the not so high scoring affairs.  We won 2-1.  Those games you have to win too. 

Today is Monday, so that is a pretty good day for me.  Lisa is off.  I work my shift.  I go out and pick up something for dinner, and grab some wine, and relax, have fun, listen to music, and here is the kicker... Enjoy Life!!  :)

Sometimes we gotta do that too.  Time stops for no one, so why not let your hair down and get a bit crazy... whatever that means to each individual person.  Like I have said before life has enough shit in it.  You won't escape it, so by all means if you have an opportunity to do something fun, do it.  A lot of times you will find you don't even have to spend a lot of money.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I think it is only supposed to be a million degrees today.  Glad I don't have to run.   :)

:Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

oh btw it was Olga, and Nancy's Birfday yesterday.  They are 22.   :)  

Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Struggle...

Well, today is definitely going to be a struggle.  I have nothing on my mind, and I ... ehhhh.... what the heck.  I was thinking today was a non-coffee day, but maybe I will make some.  Hold on brb...

First off I usually don't drink beer unless it is a microbeer.  That is stronger stuff than Coors Lite.  God, I feel kinda like shit today from drinking crappy beer.  :)  I didn't drink a ton, but maybe it was because all of the ones I drank were on a totally empty stomach.  Lesson learned??   yeah right!!   ;)

Good day yesterday though.  Run, work, run.  Really humid yesterday so the runs were sluggish, but that is fine.  Saturday is garbage mile day.  Get something in is  my only intention, and I got her in. 

Life in a nutshell huh??  Most days are just filling up time doing this and that.  Did  anything important happen yesterday??  Nah not really.  I let you see me like I have always done.  Well, since as long as I have been doing this thing.  Life isn't very glamorous is it??  Even if we have the biggest and best house, we still fill up time of our day with God knows what. 

The hard part is really finding out who we are.  Not the person we want people to think we are, but who we really are.  That is the part that is kinda  the lonely part of our life.  Us.  Who we are in the quiet times.  Remember that was one of my struggles.  Always feeling I had to be "on"  Always the fun guy, but there was more to me.  I had to find my way in the World etc... 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  I was going to start adding distance to my long runs today, but too tired.   :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Hodge Podge, Mish Mash, and other words I made up. :)

Morning all.  It is Saturday, and this is one of my fave days if I am well rested, and am working, and am running to work and back.  Today all these things are happening.  That gives me 7 miles of running today, which is GREAT.  7 miles before long run Sunday is a good weekend for me.  It is what I want to accomplish. 

So what is going on??  Not much really.  Yesterday I was just my typical bum ass self I am.  I worked, went to bar, had a couple beers, and picked Lisa up from work.  I came home, and listened to music, and had a couple drinks and went to bed, after I ate some fast food.  :)  I am a bum of all bums.  A teal piece of shit, but I do this thing here.  You know me though.  Yeah that is saying something isn't it??  You know me?  Some things you don't know about me are how my life unfolds.  Why do I wake up so early all the time??  Am I disciplined???  No, not really.  I know me though.  I know what I am capable of. 

My mind just went back to my Summer of Discontent, and I am sure I told you a lot of stuff about that.  I had maybe one good night that whole summer.  We played basketball, and for just a little while all my struggles in life were put on hold.  Mind you I was around 130 lbs. at that time, and I was fucking quick as hell.  I was 130 because I was a slave.  I was not free to do one damn thing.  Judged every second of every day.  Everything I did was wrong.  I did what I do now.  I wake up early, but I walked and walked and walked.  Then I worked, and walked and walked and walked.  I ate a meal like every 2 days.  Pancakes, or Toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I was not even free to eat.  I didn't drink any alcohol or anything.  On the outside I probably looked like the holiest guy in the world.  The most righteous, but inside I felt dirty.  I was the worst person I ever knew, and I wanted to go to a place of suffering so I could be a better person.  I had a good vision of the sword, and I saw what it was.  The garden of Eden is surrounded by 4 great swords, and there is only one who has the knowledge of the sword.  The sword is a dead end track.  He who lives by the sword dies by the sword.  The sword is only good with understanding, and I know that.  That is and what my journey has always been about.  Understanding. 

I wanted that more than anything.  I had 2 dead ends.  One was the night of the hospital.  I was going to die and go to Hell.  The other dead end was the end of the Journey.  I said I am willing to be the worst of the worst, and all the punishment that entails if that is your will.  There is no greater love right??   Night of the hospital was one.  End of the Journey was the other.  Give up my life, with no hope, and nothing but despair.  How does a person do that??  HA!!  You don't.  You cannot, you have it done for you.  Through faith stuff gets done, and you get to know you are not in charge.  You cannot make yourself good.  Remember after the Journey, and btw this happened at work.  I said I am willing.  I knew almost right away good was done.  My spirit lept.  I overcame, but really I didn't do it.  I have one more thing to do.  Go where there is no hope.  Why is that the path??  Don't know.  It is written though.  You can see that is the path if you have eyes to see. 

Forever is in our hearts.  We think we will be alive forever, and we make these great 5 year plans, and you are not assured of 5 years.  Life has struggles, and life has hard patches.  Some days or stretches I get low, and this thing here takes a beating.  I then have to wait.  I know things will get better, and I just let time take care of it. 

We are all good.  If anyone bothered to look, I added two people back yesterday.  Another one today.  When things get weird I don't take it well.  Things are sailing along smoothly, and then boom something weird happens.  Why is it that way??  Because I have a powerful bad voice inside me that can easily make me think the worst.  I am not going to put up with shit.  I have enough horseshit to deal with in life, and I get angry.  All things for good though.  Meaning yeah seemingly bad things can happen, but shit always gets fixed, and We all end up stronger people.  Strong remember is honest.  Trust and honesty goes hand in hand.  Only one is good, so that is shit we have to deal with. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  Don't really have anything, but I can always do this.  xoxoxoxoxoxo.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D  

Friday, July 13, 2012

Low Places...

Sometimes I get taken to low places.  I have let you in on some of them.  Some were real low low, but I am now just talking about regular low places.  Things like I hate this stupid blog.  Why can I not just stop with this stupid ass thing.  What is the point?? 

I thought why does everyone get so angry with me all the time??  I swear I most of the time think myself pretty insignificant.  Why is this here important??  I don't know I think it seems foolish, but at times which I cannot predict I show strength and confidence to help in ways. 

I just made an analogy about baseball scouting having two parts.  The numbers tell part of the story, and seeing a person face to face tells the other.  I think blogging is the same way.  Maybe you read this and think one thing of me, but if you saw me face to face you would think another thing.  I am a normal'ish dude.  Some things about me are different, but I couldn't even help you understand that, but I go to work, I talk normal English.  I have a sense of humor, and I can be shy.  I can be insecure, and not very confident. 

I have been doing this type of thing for a while, and those who read this know more about me than you probably know about yourself.  I wonder if me looking inside myself and the world has made you also look at yourself and the world more.  I also internally think few people read this, although I write like more do than what I truly believe. 

I wrote this a long time ago, but there is an internal battle within you.  You want to see and show the World all you can be.  Make the best person out of you that you can.  I guess I have been suggesting another way to become a better person.  It isn't an easy path.  As a matter of fact it is hard, and I think it is hard because the struggles along the way help us be strong.  My life makes sense no other way.  My real weakness is the bad internal voice I have.  I deal with that shit in my way, but I seem to many days wake up still willing to do this stupid thing.

This has been quite a ride, and I guess I am trying to fix things.  Internally I think people will meet me halfway, but maybe that is not possible.  Time heals things.  Time makes us better at overcoming our past.  As a matter of fact my blog "The Journey" was me actually coming to terms with the final and last piece of my past.  I already went through all the other Bullshit in the early 90's.

Oh well, I am just writing shit down.  It is Friday, and I am feeling pretty good.  I ran 3 loops last night in 92 degree heat.  I am now starting to try and add miles here and there when I can.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  yeah this thing has been kinda broken a bit... oh well.  It is Friday!!   yay.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

One of the things about this blog is I don't really understand.  I write down my shit, and people get angry at me, and I don't know why.  I guess if I show you all my flaws, and all my imperfections it must be easy to hate me.   Then I am like why??  What did I do to you??  Maybe it is hard to let go of things in society we have put our faith in, and you hate me for making you look at that stuff.  I guess I kinda know.  The mirror is a dangerous thing.  Used the wrong way, and it makes us all pretty horrible people.  Using it the right way takes courage.  So you are stuck.  Do hard painful stuff, or turn it and hate people.  Your path ain't easy, and you shouldn't expect it to me.  Do the hard, but better way, but trust.  Trust trust trust.  Remember how many times I added Olga's name to this thing.  That was for trust.  How many times did I add Doreen's name??  That was for strength.  Strength and trust walk hand in hand.  :)

Have a good one all.   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :D   :D    

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Was Going To Blog...

I wrote this whole long ass thing, and thought it was stupid. I deleted it.  I decided to write this instead.  :)

Have a good day all.  I didn't do my double yesterday, because I was fricken tired.  I think I will do it today.  Take the Hopester on an early 3 miler. 

Oh, and yes, something must be off, but who knows what.  Guess we will see, time has a way of answering questions. 


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Plan...

Well, I definitely am going through a this blog is stupid period.  I don't really have much to write, and I tend to think this thing must get boring.  I went back and read a few posts yesterday, and thought well, I guess it ain't so bad. 

Anyway, I did have a pretty good day yesterday.  Runners cancelled on the Tuesday night run, so I got  my run in early.  I cut the 6.2 miler short to 5.5, because I had to poo, but it was a sluggish run anyway.   Best thing about getting it in early though is I am done.  So I get to hang out.  :)  Hey, if I ain't out training to win my next race, I like to hang out.   ;) 

I made tacos, and Lisa did whatever the hell she was doing in the yard.  Her therapy.  :)

Plan today is to maybe double up.  Wednesday is speed work day, which I have been doing the trails.  I have a 1/2 mile road by my house that is hilly.  I want to do 4 hard ups, and recover downs before work.  Maybe take the monster Hopester for a little run when I get home too, so I can get a double in. 

I have made a decision to not run on the track for the time being, and that is for a couple reasons.  First is to keep injuries at bay.  Also the group meets at 6:30, and that is really not very ideal for me.  I get home at 8:00 after a hard work out, and I am usually in bed by 8:00.  Makes for a horrible Thursday for me.  I end up being very sluggish.  So my speed work will be a solo affair, but that works best for me and my schedule now. 

I like to get my stuff done early if at all possible.  :)

Have a good one all...

Monday, July 9, 2012

Back To Work...

Well, I am FINALLY back to work today.  yay.  :)  Maybe my week off wouldn't have been so boring if the weather wasn't so brutal.  Maybe I would have actually got something done.  Maybe if the book I was reading wasn't so depressing.  Who knows??  It was a shitty week.  I had a low mileage total running week.  A little under 25 miles, but that is over.  I am back to my routine.  One of the things I noticed about work too is how much my walking helps.  Not working I lose a good portion of the extra 4-6 miles I walk at work every day.  So, I am here to tell you FOR ME  work is good food.  :)

Not much going on.  Ken and I ran our 11 miler yesterday.  It wasn't all that pretty.  It was my 5th day of running in a row, and my legs were a bit tired.  I guess Saturday was a bit of an exertion too, but whatever,  sometimes ya just gotta get it in. 

I watched Wimbledon, which was exciting.  I watched Andy Murray's Semi final win, and I did not realize there has not been a Male Finalist from the UK since like 1938 or something.  He made it to the Finals, so that was exciting.  He is Scottish, but I think all of UK were rooting for him.  He played great in the Final, but Federer was way too good.  It was exciting, and I haven't watched Tennis in a couple years.  Maybe because there are no good Americans anymore.  Oh, and women should play 5 sets in majors.  Sporting wise they can handle it like men.  That is dumb.  What is the difference from a major and a minor Tennis tournament for girls???  stupid...

Lazy day really yesterday.  Sox were on WGN, so I watched that for a bit.  My friend Beau stopped by, and we hung for a bit.  It was a nice day.   Lisa and I had pizza for dinner.  :)

Today is Monday.  I work, shop after work, and cook a meal.  Lisa is off.  I am off from running, and my life is better than yours.   :)


I would like to thank my sponsors for this blog update:

Marlboro Man
Gas Station food
Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
Big Mac
Medical Marijuana
TARP funds
K Street
Popcorn prices at the Movies. 

I think that is about it.  :)

Have a good one all.

Later Gaterzzzzzzzzzz   :)))

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Fail, and Fail...

2 Goals yesterday.  Beat last years time, and be strong after the dune.  Fail and fail.  I felt okay most of the way.  The dune was easier than I thought it would be, probably just experience, but when I ran back down we had another climb I must have forgotten about.  I didn't think it was going to be hard after the dune, but the first climb was longer than I thought, and I snapped.  climbing on loose sand sucks, and I walked most of the trail after that. 

I didn't really care, and you  know how it goes.  Mentally you tell yourself you suck, and you are the worst, and I am never running  a damn marathon.  Running sucks.  The usual.  :)  On the walk on the trail though it actually wasn't that bad.  I was soaked with sweat, because it was so hot, so the breeze cooled me down.  walking on the trail wasn't bad.  It was kind of refreshing.  After we finish the trail we still have a mile of road to run.  I did a walk run, and then just jogged the last 1/2 mile.  I ate some watermelon, drank some warm water, sat in the shade and took off my shoes that weighed 5 lbs. a piece.  No joke about the weight of the shoes either. 

I went home and slept.  I woke up and had some lemonade.  Looked at some of the pictures posted on FB, and thought... hmmmm.   That was fun right??   I am an idiot.  :)

Today is a long run, so Ken and I will do our 11 mile route.  I don't think the temps. will be too bad considering what we have been dealing with.  When I was walking the trail back during the race, less people passed me than the year before.  I think there was just a lot of carnage out there.  Less people too.  The smart ones.  Ken passed me though, so I may have to add a couple tempo miles on the long run today.  :)   j/k.  

Later all.  :)

Have a good one...

Saturday, July 7, 2012


Do you ever notice the weather can affect your mood??  Above 90 with high humidity for days on end.  It may as well be 35 degree and pouring down rain.  Perhaps -10 with a ton of snow on the ground.  You feel like doing just as much.  The only thing about the cool days is at least you feel like eating.  It is absolutely gross out.  I went on a little run yesterday, and blah!!! 

Looking at the temps today it will be gross again.  Actually it already is, and it isn't going to get better.  I am running a 10K, and I am on the fence whether I should even bother.  It will be a good workout if I do, and that is all I can say.  It isn't a regular 10 K where you think of what time you can get.  It is a 10K where you think how many minutes should I add to a time I think I can get.  If you add less than 10 minutes you will be wrong.  The winners of the race will lose 10 minutes to their track 10K time.  Yeah one of those.  It is going to be hot and humid, and you have to run on the beach, and climb a big ass dune, that takes probably close to 10 minutes. 

I would have a time goal for this race, and that would be to beat last years time, although  it is probably warmer.  2nd goal is when I finish the dune be strong the last couple miles.  Last year I wasn't that strong, and got passed a lot, and did little passing. 

We will see.  On a day like this with the weather being a drag, I think a hard 10K can start the day off right. 

Well besides writing this dumb ass stupid blog. 

If you don't know or if you cannot tell I am having one of those I am not important in the grand scheme of things moments.  People can bring you down huh?? 

As this thing goes on I realize the better stuff you feed people the better off you will be.  No illusions of how Great the world is, but the truth to everything.  You know when you show the stuff you are afraid to show.  Perhaps people are afraid.  I get that, but you know everyone is in the same boat.  We all suck at times.  We have hate and anger, etc... 

Life is hard.  There is a lot of stuff to deal with, and you are being led on a path where you find out why you do the things you do.  Why you act the way you act.  Why you are the way you are.  I have been down this path.  I know you aren't perfect, and I know why.  I know some of the stuff inside you, and you cannot fake me. 

Your idea of the good person doesn't mean crap, because there is  a better person to be.  You just have to be tough and say "O.K., I will look at myself with real eyes" " I will not try and show people who I think they want to see."   Wanna know why that is an important step??  We will all marvel at your honesty.  You will surprise us with your strength on how real you are.  Do you trust in the truth?? 

You know you do, and I know it is scary, and I know you have to be strong, and I am assuming with that you will have help.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has  a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xio's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Fricken strange we have to unlearn all the crap we have been taught.  I think I have been saying that a while though.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D  

Friday, July 6, 2012

Well I Can Get A Bit Cranky...

Hey, how's it going??  Me, I am doing okay I guess.  Hating my vacation as always.  :)  Not really that chipper this morning I don't think.  I may try and go to bed after this again. Why not right??  I am on vacation you know?? 

I had one of those things happen the other day where if you read this blog you know there are two ways things can happen.  Clean way with honesty and trust.  Another way just popped up on me.  Dealing with lies and stuff, and those are bad, because it seems all the good gets drained out of me.  I hate those to be honest, and it just makes me mad at people.  Luckily I have enough friends who don't mind seeing the ugly side of life.  Can handle honesty, and truth, and don't need to try and show some "good" side at the expense of their bad side. 

Life is full of shit that way isn't it??  To be President you can never have smoked dope, although from here on out probably most will have tried it.  Your resumes you try and put on this shiny nice looking piece of shit so your perspective employer thinks you are a Saint.  Can you imagine how much shit is shoveled in a regular job interview?? 

In order to do good in society you have to lie, and be fake, and pretend you are a Saint.  No wonder everyone is on anti-depressants all the time.  You live a lie you are unhappy. 

You see??  Everything is fucked up in this world, and you know people can get pretty fed up.  You get someone who stands up to the forces of evil  (fakeness)  and the people will follow.  It doesn't matter how good they are, it matters how strong they are.  That is what America was built on.  We were built on being law breakers.  Standing up to the powers that be. 

America these days are in two camps, and both of them are shit, but the news people have everyone fired up one side or another no one bothers throwing the idiots out, and their whole national organizations. 

But hey, believe what you want.  I look for truth, and honesty, and could give a fuck about anything less. :)

Have a good one all.  :)   xoxoxoxo

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Been A While For Me...

So, I am on vacation this week, and I am already at the point where I am over it.  I am not a person who can just read all day.  I like work, and I like having to be somewhere.  I like a schedule.  I like my hours being used up, and maybe getting everything done where I can have a few hours to myself to have fun... whatever that may be. 

When I am on vacation I get lazy.  I can't flip on daytime tv, not even the TDF.  So I wallow in this mood vacation brings me to, and just read, and stuff. 

The usual shit pisses me off.  How you are is how you are.  There shouldn't be I am this way here, and that way there.  That is the worst of all things.  No, there is no let me look this way here, and that way there.  What the Hell is that?? 

My name is Steve Pejchl.  I have a colorful sense of humor to say the least.  If you have some type of Puritan sense of humor, meaning none, than that doesn't get you anywhere.  You look for the good in people as if you can deify them.  Ummmm no.  We are humans, which means we have flaws.  You'd be silly to think otherwise. 

I think the worst people are those who are so sure of their being right.  So sure of who they are and what they have become.  Why???  They only show you the Tiger Woods side, and keep the skeletons buried.  In other words they are weak. 


Monday, July 2, 2012

This I Do Freely...

I will not lie, I am a bit irritated this morning.  Amazing how just stupid shit can turn a fantastic day around in a second. For what??  A long time ago I stepped out of everything I believed in.  Look at the world objectively, because as I wrote before I Graduated College what if I were a Southener, living in a small racist town in the South, and my Education stopped at High School.  What would stop me from being a racist??  I did this before 1990 probably.  19 fucking 90!!!

This is a long time ago I did this, and my steps after, made me lose all faith and trust in society.  People died who were important to my childhood.  I saw my imperfections, and I tried to see what good was there to do with one's life??  I didn't see much to be honest.  All things look stupid when you look in the face of death.  Anyone know what I did then?? 

I asked you to throw everything away, and to trust, and you cannot do it still?? 

That pisses me off.