Sometimes I get taken to low places. I have let you in on some of them. Some were real low low, but I am now just talking about regular low places. Things like I hate this stupid blog. Why can I not just stop with this stupid ass thing. What is the point??
I thought why does everyone get so angry with me all the time?? I swear I most of the time think myself pretty insignificant. Why is this here important?? I don't know I think it seems foolish, but at times which I cannot predict I show strength and confidence to help in ways.
I just made an analogy about baseball scouting having two parts. The numbers tell part of the story, and seeing a person face to face tells the other. I think blogging is the same way. Maybe you read this and think one thing of me, but if you saw me face to face you would think another thing. I am a normal'ish dude. Some things about me are different, but I couldn't even help you understand that, but I go to work, I talk normal English. I have a sense of humor, and I can be shy. I can be insecure, and not very confident.
I have been doing this type of thing for a while, and those who read this know more about me than you probably know about yourself. I wonder if me looking inside myself and the world has made you also look at yourself and the world more. I also internally think few people read this, although I write like more do than what I truly believe.
I wrote this a long time ago, but there is an internal battle within you. You want to see and show the World all you can be. Make the best person out of you that you can. I guess I have been suggesting another way to become a better person. It isn't an easy path. As a matter of fact it is hard, and I think it is hard because the struggles along the way help us be strong. My life makes sense no other way. My real weakness is the bad internal voice I have. I deal with that shit in my way, but I seem to many days wake up still willing to do this stupid thing.
This has been quite a ride, and I guess I am trying to fix things. Internally I think people will meet me halfway, but maybe that is not possible. Time heals things. Time makes us better at overcoming our past. As a matter of fact my blog "The Journey" was me actually coming to terms with the final and last piece of my past. I already went through all the other Bullshit in the early 90's.
Oh well, I am just writing shit down. It is Friday, and I am feeling pretty good. I ran 3 loops last night in 92 degree heat. I am now starting to try and add miles here and there when I can.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. yeah this thing has been kinda broken a bit... oh well. It is Friday!! yay. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
One of the things about this blog is I don't really understand. I write down my shit, and people get angry at me, and I don't know why. I guess if I show you all my flaws, and all my imperfections it must be easy to hate me. Then I am like why?? What did I do to you?? Maybe it is hard to let go of things in society we have put our faith in, and you hate me for making you look at that stuff. I guess I kinda know. The mirror is a dangerous thing. Used the wrong way, and it makes us all pretty horrible people. Using it the right way takes courage. So you are stuck. Do hard painful stuff, or turn it and hate people. Your path ain't easy, and you shouldn't expect it to me. Do the hard, but better way, but trust. Trust trust trust. Remember how many times I added Olga's name to this thing. That was for trust. How many times did I add Doreen's name?? That was for strength. Strength and trust walk hand in hand. :)
Have a good one all. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :D :D