Sunday, November 30, 2014

Early Morning Coffee...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Today is almost the same as yesterday.  I have been up for quite a while, but just laying in bed.  I finally decided to get up, and make coffee, and do this thing. 

I looked at the temps and it said 54 degrees.   WOW!! that's good running temps.  Hold on a sec, I am going to get my coffee...

Okay, I am ready.  Something about an early morning cup of coffee.  So there isn't a ton going on with me.  I have to work ~ 3 hours today, and I will probably go in a little after my run.  I am pretty sure today, and Saturday will be my last days.  Sounds like they got another replacement to start next Sunday. 

So, I know some things about life.  Basically the ugly truth of it.   The World is full of comic books, and fairy tales, and all this kinda crap.  Rags to riches stories, and sugarcoated Biographies.  The World is one big lie, and all this time we thought we must be thinking wrong.   Everyone's life seems so perfect.  Where did I go wrong??

No one's life is perfect.   There is no Heaven on Earth.  Everything is messed up, and everything is wrong.   The World threw one over on you.   Clouded your eyes to the truth.   I tell you what too, it took A LOT for people to have a way out.  The story is of Adam pre-fall, to the fall, and back to the pre-fall.   Then even one step more.  My story took basically most of my adult life.   Early 90's through the dead years.  I knew what I was, and I knew I had something to do.  I just didn't know when.  I believed all those years the promise given me, and trust me, it was simple.  It is the way I am.  

Things probably started up before Heimleblog, but it is then when I knew things started.   Always waiting for the final thing to do, and year after year thinking this was it.  Heimleblog ended bad, but I started up the Journey.  SHEESH!!   I forgot how scared I was of starting that thing up.  A little view I guess of how bad heimleblog ended.   Then I overcame the 2nd time.   Done with the Journey, and the wait started up right away.   That was easy.   I was not lacking any confidence or anything.   I stood in a good spot and I knew it.  

I don't even know how many years this thing has been going on, but it has been for a while.  There has been this disconnect though.   From what I know of the ugly truth, to your seeking paradise on Earth.   You climb the wrong mountain on that one.   There is no paradise on Earth.   It is a bad place filled with lies. 

All avenues fall short, and things would have been a heck~uv~a lot easier if you weren't born, as it is written.  You have been born though, so you are of this World.   You need to seek out the answers to life, because it is kinda important.   Important you do it while you are alive.  You ain't going to do it when you are 6' under, I guarantee you that. 

As long as you know that on your final days you know what your final thoughts are.   It isn't about careers, and retirement accounts, and getting in shape for that "A" race, and anything.   You will wish your life was about being good, and doing good.  There is only one way for that to happen too.   It isn't the path of you.   That statement is 100% true. 

The path of you is the most foolish thing one could cling too. 

When are you going to throw away foolishness???

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  yeah,  probably some heavy entries the last couple days.   Shit is real though, so you have to have courage to deal with this shit.   Trust me,  I've lived it all, and been through it all.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  

Saturday, November 29, 2014

I Guess We Will Start This Day...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay.  I have been up a while, but just laying in bed.   I decided I might as well get the day started.   I have to work for ~ 5 hours.  Not sure what time I'll go in.  Maybe around 9:00 or so.  We'll see.  I have to get a run in after this.  I didn't run yesterday.  I was tired when I got home from work.   :) 

I was in a really good mood yesterday though.  I guess in my update yesterday there was something I put in their very nonchalantly, although it was a big deal.  It is what I had to learn all those years ago, and what I've known all these years.  Everything is wrong.  What is right is hidden.  As powerful, and fabulous as we think we are, and as smart as we think we are, and all these types of things, you need help to find right, to be right, and all the things being right entails.

You can't exercise your way to right, you cannot read your way to right, you cannot diet your way to right, nope.  There is only one way, and it is really what the story of this blog has been about.

So I am in this good spot where I've done what I was supposed to do.  I've won the race of life, and I've been through any number of things to get where I am at.   I've been faithful, and obedient.  I was asked to do something so I threw away foolishness and did what was asked.

Now I am not really asked to do anything, but in my heart is the desire to do this a lot.   So I do it.   I do it freely, because it isn't work really.  Mostly I do it cuz it is fun for me.

It must help people in a way too.  Eventually all will have to throw away all the foolishness and do what is right.   Accept your position and where you stand.   My blog unfortunately has to tell you your position and where you stand.   I give you a direction though, and I give you answers, because they are given to me. 

I know I know how is little old me supposed to be a help??  Where in the World does the confidence come from??   :)))

That is the story of this blog too I guess.   I am strong and confident, and that is a long way different from this little kid growing up huh?? 

Anyway.  I have my coffee, and I will drink it.   I'll get my little run in a bit.  Hope will be excited.   I have to do some laundry, and we izzz having sgetti and meatballs for dinner.   Easy day really.   Not too too much going on.   Not too shabby. 

So anyway, just touching base like I like to do.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I picked up an extra day next week at the grocery store.   Should be fun.   I'll be doing some dairy stuff.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Friday, November 28, 2014

Wow, Things Do Change...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  It is Black Friday and for the first time in over two decades Lisa and I will be having nothing to do with it.  Who says life doesn't get better as you get older?? 

Anyway I haven't blogged for a couple days because, well let me explain.  2 days ago I tried, but I was writing gibberish, and it was stupid, so I deleted the post.  Yesterday I had absolutely nothing to blog about, and I didn't feel like it.   Yesterday was my first day off in 10 days, and it was pretty good.   It was Thanksgiving and all, but Lisa and I don't do much.  Just kinda chill, watch football.  I drank some wine, and fell asleep for a bit after dinner.   I guess I needed a day off. 

Anyway today all I have to do is work a few hours at the grocery store.  It should be fun.  That is it.  I am deciding how to run today.   I thought about going now, but there is too much snow, so I'd have to do it on the snow melt.   I think I'll work first.  After work I'll scout out the sidewalks, and see if they are plowed yet, and if not, I'll run 3 miles or so on the snow melt.   2 laps seems kinda short though, so I may run 4.5 miles.  That would be 3 laps, and I think that is the least amount of laps I have ever done on the snow melt. 

Anyway, there isn't a ton on my mind, but it is early morning.  I have coffee, and I feel good.  I guess I don't have a ton planned today, but it seems like all fun to me.  I should run the snow blower too I guess. 

So there I have a day planned.   I am pretty excited about it.  There really isn't anything earth shattering about this day, and what does that say about life?? 

Here I am with my stupid day planned, that probably I am the only one in the World who would be excited about.   It is my life though, and what I am doing.   Seems silly from this life's perspective that people are killing each other huh?? 

What are the major things going on in the World that make us all hate others??

Bad information.  Ever read the Bible with the talking of leavened and unleavened bread??   leavened is the teaching one gets from the World, and unleavened is the better stuff not of this World.   We are born in this World destined to be poisoned with the teachings of the World.   Something we must overcome.   It is about stepping out of upbringing, and Society, and Country, and Religion, and all those things.  

Obviously Religion is the hardest thing to step out of, because we'd have to accept we fell short in what we believe.   You have.   It is a heck~uv~a lot more than the things the World teaches. 

Anyway, I am just rambling.  

Yesterday was fun, and I am glad I had a day off.   :)

Have a good one.   :)

xoxoxo   MWAH!!!    :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

This Is Not A Bad Way To Start Off This Day...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing good.  I have to work both jobs today, and then the rest of the week is easy shmeazy.  Tomorrow we are only working a max of 6 hours.   Out by midnight at the latest.  Thursday off.  I picked up some hours at the grocery store on Friday, so maybe 4 hours or so.  Saturday, I have to do my weekend thing, which is 5 hours, and Sunday which should be 4 hours(if there isn't a replacement).   How about that??  It is like a little vacation with a little work thrown in.   I think I like those.

Running has been going good.   Just running 3 milers here and there, and I am actually getting faster.  I haven't done a track workout, but just the other day I ran 3 miles at about 25 minute 5K pace, and I didn't really intend it.   Me, and Hope just went out, and we were fast for some reason.  I am running a 5K on New Years Eve.   If the roads are nice, I may be pretty fast.   If there is snow all over who knows??

Anyway I got home from work last night a little early.  I got a few hours of sleep, and now I am going to go into the grocery store early, and get it done.   I assume it will be around 4 hours, and I will have to nap before work tonight. 

I see social media blew up about Ferguson, and I don't have any real thoughts on that.   I haven't been paying attention.   I see both sides are highly charged, and I don't really pay too much attention to the news.

Life is kinda strange I guess.   You typically think people are pretty normal, and then all of a sudden Jeffrey Dahmer eats someone you know.  So you get a big news piece out there, but still people are cheating on their spouses.  Some are smoking dope before work.  You name it life is pretty imperfect all around, and somehow our eyes got clouded over about the truth of this World.

It is bad.   It isn't good.   We as people are not really that good.

Even these days I feel I am different.   I am in a pretty good mood and super pumped up.  It is good to wake up like this.  

So anyway this is probably a stupid update.  I haven't blogged in a couple days, because It just wasn't there. 

That is my update for today.   :)

Try not to get too bored reading it.  :)


Sunday, November 23, 2014

3 Steps Forward, And 80 Steps Back...

That is how it seems this thing goes sometimes.  So whatever.  

When you look at yourself what do you see??  Somebody who is better than others??  You've done all the right things.  Blameless in all your deeds??  Shining brighter than all others with all your goodness, and the direction you planned out for yourself?? 

What is it that makes you this "good" person??  Which of the great virtues out there are you just overflowing with??  For those of the religious type, if all things are possible, than you are the best there is??   Perfect and blameless, because of how great you are??  Your faith really stops short of what can be done huh??   You put faith in a few words here and there, and try your best to follow along Society's path, whichever Society you live in. 

The truth is greater than Society.  Stronger, and doesn't need the foolishness of men's best "wisdom"   It stands strong on its own, and people use Society as a crutch, and upbringing, and false teachings, and crap like that.  

People's path of redemption is the following the foolishness of the thoughts of men.  You have religious leaders of all faiths seemingly wearing silly robes, although the book they believe warns against that kinda crap.   I just need to see the robes, and know they are wrong.   I just need to see the uniform, and know their message is wrong, and false, and falls way short.   Centuries and Centuries of crap, and look how many people fell into their misguided trap.   There are warnings about those false teachers, and their future.   They will be surprised no doubt. 

I came along, and with a wisdom greater than my own gave you information the others wouldn't give you.   I told you it would be hard, and I told you to be strong.   I gave you the path, but you are too wise huh??  Too good, and too perfect.   You know best.  

80 steps back, and I really am disappointed I guess.  

I don't like arrogance, and I guess that is a lot of what I see.  

As I've said before, I stand alone.   You ain't that fucking great.   Even if you think you are. 


Thursday, November 20, 2014

1 Or 2 Cups Of Coffee This Morning. Life Sometimes Is Too Much...

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I guess I am doing okay, even though I just looked at bills due, and crappy things like that.   :)  I don't know how people with kids on a limited income do it.  Talk about people being tied to jobs.  

Anyway, I have a cup of coffee.  As my title suggests I am not sure if I will go for 2 or not.   Hope and I have a snowy run date planned.  We don't have a ton of snow.  Maybe a couple inches, but it really has been the wind blowing that crap around that made everything seem worse than it is.   Temps have been below freezing so the snow is light, and the wind takes it. 

Also I have a big day planned of laundry, and...  well, actually that may be it.  I have some laundry to do.  I'll put a load in before the run.  This week, I haven't been sleeping a lot when I get home.  Only like 3 hours, and then I am up.   That isn't optimal for me, but what can you do.  I have to work this weekend too, because the dude who took over the things I was doing before quit.  :)  It actually isn't too bad though, because this is my main job now, so you tend to make it more important.  Previously when I was doing the weekend thing I wanted to get it done in a hurry, because I had to be back at work that night, so I wanted sometime for myself before I napped for the evening shift.  My weekend work this weekend is just that.   I still have the nights off.  So I'll probably get a little overtime, and some time off early here and there until they find another replacement. 

I probably should apologize about last year I think.   Who can remember how a year goes, but I think it was an off year, and I sure feel I was negative.   I lost faith in many if not all.   I lost trust in people.  People didn't seem to be getting stronger.  They surely didn't get what I was "talking" about at all, or just ignored or didn't listen. 

I want to be this good person, and it is far away from me.   I know this, and I accept it, and I know the direction I need to go to be who I want to be.   My life is a drop everything and pursue that avenue.   It has been done, and I listened, and I followed.   My journey is all done except for the crying, and the gnashing of teeth so to speak.  :)

I have this thing here, and I use it.  I've always been able to do this confidently, even if later in the day I felt like shit.   Didn't matter.   This was my time, and it usually is pretty okay.   Maybe last year I needed to recharge the batteries, so that is why I NEEDED an off year. 

It seems to me though there is only one good thing left in me.   I can support the people who have the courage to take off their shell.   Many will just keep painting pictures.  No support comes from that.   You want to show you have the answers I guess, and you don't.   Many might not have even asked the questions yet. 

You know you have a life.   You see what it is about.   People doing crappy things to people.   People coming together with maybe even pretty good intentions, but making systems that just tie chains around people.   The World is bad in how it is made, because why??  Who is the Father of this World??  

I see the totality of this bad place.   People are enslaved to this bad place, because it is all you know.   There are steps that need to be made, and it will take courage for sure, because you may be humbled.   God knows I have been, and many many times.   Made to be the fool.  Why?? Who knows, maybe so I could always just be raised up again. 

I want to help, because this is how I am, and this is how I am made.   Here for a purpose and here for a job.   You are too, but you have to accept the offer.   At any cost.  

Your eyesight is limited very much so.  What may seem like a big cost, is actually nothing when one looks in the long term.   One must look past retirement (something you don't know what looks like, also something not guaranteed) to the eventuality of your own ending.   6' under will happen, and coins sometimes become worthless.   See examples I always use of Weimar Republic Currency, and Holy Roman Empire coins.  

Wise decisions are based on things you know.   You know this one thing about life, so decisions and questions start there.   Everything else is just make believe.  :) 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s. I am going to have a 2nd cup of coffee.   Also for those with eyes, yesterday something came across my eyesight.  It originated from someone who I trust wholeheartedly.  It is based on this trust I acted upon it.   TRUST IS ALL in my World.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

This Is What I Do...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I have not yet had enough sleep, but I am ready to go to bed. 

Geesh I have a strange story huh??   Blog day after day, cuz you feel like telling people the stupid shit that creeps up in your mind.  It is a crazy story, and it is a true story, and I do it gladly,  cuz that is the way my heart is.

Your heart could be a certain awesome showing kinda way too if you did the things that need to be done. 

~it aint showing the World how Great you are

~It definitely ain't showing how fabulous you are. 

~The light and truth of us lives in our darkside.   The very thing we'd rather not show.   How would you suggest we all get from point A to point B??   Dark to light?? 
~No easy way, and no easy direction.   Brace yourselves for the truth.  Not the truth of the World, and stuff like that.   You have enough to handle with just the truth of you.



That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.   temps are warming up this weekend.   :)   xo

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The 3 Hour Sleep...

Hello, and good morning all.   How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay.   I was a bit lethargic yesterday after having a 3 day weekend.   :)  Wake up early, and worry about sleep, because you will be working til the weeeee hours of the morning.  

Oh Lookeeeee here, and today I am up after 3 hours of sleep, and I have to work til the weeeeeee hours of the morning, plus I have to work at the grocery store too.   :)   Working today instead of Wednesday to help make room for the load tonight I guess.   Something about a billion frozen turkeys in the freezer cramming up space.  

It is official though.   Today I will for sure be able to use my snow blower.   We didn't get snowmageddon like the predictions, but it was really windy, and my driveway needs to be cleared.   I hope it is warmer than the 15 degrees it said on my way home this morning. 

So what is going on with me??  Not much.  This is the things that life is made of.   Day to day of whatever it is we fill our days with.  Some days we are probably pretty happy.  Some days we would probably rather stay in bed.   Many days I assume are boring.   Perhaps in some way we'd like to make our mark on the World, and that never really happens.  

Let's say you are rich and famous, you would still have to fill your day up with stuff.   You have more money than God what would you do with it??  Buy a never ending supply of knick knacks and stuff??  More cars, and more jewelry, and whatever.   Dinners out, and stuff like that, and you still have to fill your day up with stuff. 

I had a little 3 mile run yesterday.  I really wanted to go on it to clear my head from too many days off.   :)  It was slow, and I was pretty unmotivated.   Say it would have been scheduled a long run for me.   I don't know if I was in the mood to actually do it.   3 miles was all I could stomach yesterday, even though I have been pretty motivated lately.   I am sure many will be able to relate to that.   Where does the inside feeling of us come from??

Today I feel good, and only sleeping 3 hours I feel loaded with energy.  I knew I was done sleeping.  I know me pretty good, and then I think of you.  You don't know yourself very good.   Caught between what is really you, and the pressures of what you think you need to show people. 

What character traits of you do you like??  What don't you like??  I know you are not perfect, and I know some people have some bad parts to their personality. 

What are the parts of you that matter??  What are the parts of your personality that are actually making a difference??   I did think about some things from last year.  The coin, and your final wishes once you are about to die.   My blog wasn't all horrible last year.   Probably my worst blogging year though. 

I know the shortcomings my blog has.   I'd fix it if I could, but we are on a journey here.   From point A to point B, and the shortcomings may not be my fault.  

Maybe this blog is a mirror, and we don't like it.   We want to show the good stuff.   The things we think life is about.   What is the good stuff??  

If life is a game of points where are you getting your points??   Life is a game of points, and life is a game of death. 

A lot of things to think about, and probably the most important part is we don't really matter, and neither do our lives. 

This blog has definitely done one thing though.   It made people stay on the sidelines, and try to convince themselves and everyone else stuff that isn't true. 

I had a tough job to do.   I had to go out and tell my story, and tell it to people who wouldn't believe it.   I've had to withstand the arrows shot at me.  In other blogs they may have gotten the better of me, but in this one here, I remain strong.  

Waiting for others to become strong.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   Time to snow blow.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Monday, November 17, 2014

A View Into You...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  I had 3 days off, and I am ready to get back to work.  I haven't really taken many days off this year, and to have a 3 day weekend was pretty sweet.   4 days would have been too long.   I don't work til 8:00 PM tonight, so I will need a nap later. 

Yesterday was just a lazy day.  I got a little run in, and then watched football.  It got kind of weird for a bit, as my mind kind of went away from my "normal" and caught a glimpse of your normal.  It was weird.  I cannot believe how different I am, and I cannot imagine how incomprehensible I am. 

I see how much of a slave people are to their own minds.   The gap between me and you is pretty big.  Seems strange I am the way I am, and somehow I have to help you on your way.  As I look at it I can pretty much do nothing, although in some ways this blog probably helps.  How I don't know, but I know work gets done through it. 

Anyway not too much is going on with me.   I will probably take Hope for a little run in a bit.  There is snow on the ground so it will be slow.  Good thing of running in the snow is it is soft on the legs.  Helps with injury prevention.  I should probably do some laundry today, and Lisa and I may see a movie. 

I know some things about life, and it is pretty much different than we were ever taught to believe.   I had to learn a lot of things about life, and go through some stuff.   Imagine the Summer of My Discontent was so long ago, and it took me from the early 90's to when I started blog #1.  The story of me was told, and the story of me came out.  

Remember on this blog I pulled for such a long time??  Now I don't know what I am doing or what this blog is doing.   Not really sure of the direction, and I cannot see too far in front of me.  I don't worry about it though.   I don't know how my blog relates to you.   What is the purpose of me and you?? 

How will this year unfold??  What will I learn about you??  What will my blog be like??  

A lot of questions. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I think a nice run this morning will shake out the cobwebs from a lazy Sunday.   :)  I hope so anyway.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Since I Am On A Roll...

Hello, and good morning all.   How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had a pretty productive day yesterday.  I put in all 3 lights Lisa wanted me to put in.  All came out perfect, except the one I thought was to be the easiest to put in.  It works, but needs a little thingy~ma~jig to make the trim piece stick like it should.   It is the fixture that frustrated me on Monday.  I tell you one thing of me though, I was happy I got those done.   So happy, I called my wife at work to tell her I did it. 

I sometimes can be a lazy and worthless SOB, and when I do good, I am happy with myself.  :) 

Once again there isn't too too much on my mind.   I am thankful I have another year to do stuff.   I am thankful, I am pretty healthy I can run.  My knee isn't perfect, but it isn't horrible.   I don't bend as much at work anymore, and I think that helps. 

I have pretty much been running only 3 milers, but still, one more 3 miler today = 20 miles for the week.  Not too shabby.  Typically I like to stay close to 25 miles/ week, but for my plan this year I am happy with 20.   Gotta stay healthy.   :)

This is day 3 of my 3 days off in a row.  I may be able to snow blow.   We got a little snow.  Not a ton, but maybe enough to snow blow.   :) 

I have an easy dinner planned.   Either spaghetti or tacos.   Probably tacos.   Other than that not too too much going on with me.  I don't mind either.   :)

At this stage of the game, I am happy, and content, and I am pretty okay with things.   My blog is going good, and so am I.  :) 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  crap,   I blogged without making a cup of coffee first.  #fail   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D 

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Early Morning Goodness...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   I had a good sleep yesterday, and last night.  I am up early, and ready to start my day.  Actually I already started my day, as I have been grocery shopping already.  Today I will be making a pot roast in the slow cooker, and I will get a few things done around the house. 

So what is going on with me.  What is on my mind??  As usual pretty much nothing.   Yesterday was a good day, and I had fun.  I am on day 2 of my 3 day weekend, and I am well rested.   The weather feels mild outside, so it will be a good run I have in a bit. 

Well this kind of sucks.   I have been on a pretty good roll with blogging, but I seriously have nothing on my mind.  

Maybe I will just jot some stuff down that is in my heart.   I can always do that, and usually can find something.   I never know how it will turn out though, so you are warned.  

I feel like this every day pretty much.   A calm sense of ease.   There are stresses to life, but they can be erased in my mind.   My heart is filled with a drug almost that helps make me strong.   Makes me as carefree as humanly possible probably, and it isn't a drug I take.   It is a change in me that happened long ago, and through many steps and many hoops I stand where I am now. 

Having been this way for so long I find it hard to know how you are.   I know some things from memory, but I am open and free, and you are closed, and it is dark inside.   Hard to see you for you, and me, but I can see sometimes with your words.   Some people I can feel on the inside of me.   It is how I can think of any one person at any one time. 

It is a delicate balance being how I am, because people have no idea how it is to be me, and you probably have never seen anyone like this.   It is because there is no one else like this.   Just me.   I am as unique as can be, and there is no way to explain how I am.  

I have explained in ways, but like the whole equation of understanding is, you cannot know me unless you walk in my shoes, and that is pretty next to impossible.  So that is kinda neat and fun. 

Anyway today is a new day.   I have no idea how it will unfold, and what will happen, but that is how all days are I guess.  

I really have nothing too too much on my mind at all, but you know what??   That is okay too.   We are on a pretty good stretch huh??   Things are looking good huh?? 

They are for me,  I know that.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  almost done with my coffee, so it is almost time to run.   :) 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D  

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  MWAH!!!    :)

Friday, November 14, 2014

What Will Today Bring??

Hello, and good afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   I am at the start of my 3 day weekend. 

Very rarely these days do I give out extra xoxoxo's and stuff like that.  I am not sure the reasons.   As those who have been around awhile know though, I don't have much to offer people.  I cannot shower them with gifts, and stuff like that, but I can and will stop by their blogging doorstep if I know them. 

I don't want to be a nuisance, and I want to treat people with respect, but there is this crazy sense of humor side too that loves to joke around.  People don't always get it.   One thing of me though is if I feel I am a nuisance or annoying I walk.   At this stage of my life I don't need drama.   I am strong on my own, and that says a lot.

Rarely if ever do I give a shout out to people.  

Today that changes.  

I want you all to know a person who has had many names on my blog.  JPH,  Jen, Jenny Parker Harrison, maybe others too.   Who can remember.?  

She is a strong girl.   She has like a zillion friends, and I think she would bend over backwards for most of them.   She is well liked by all the people who know her.   She has no enemies, and I think if the World was made up of people like Jen the problems of the World would probably diminish exponentially.  

She and I have a History that goes way back.   I shared something with her long long ago.   There was something in her she was not able to deal with.   Like the dude who lost his wife of a million years.   I have no idea what it was, but it is a connection that binds us.  

She is married, and has kids.   She coaches, and has a social life.   As with all people as busy as her she has to juggle stuff, and I cannot imagine anyone who juggles the stress of life with more strength, dignity, and grace.  

We will call this Shout out Friday.  

Jen, knows I love her to death, and I think the World of her.   She trusts like no other, and as far as character goes I think she is the full package. 

This is a blog, and it goes in any direction. 

The direction today is JPH. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I am having a coffee, and contemplating to run today.   Leaning against it, and maybe go a bit longer tomorrow.   :)   I'll make a nice dinner though.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Not Enough To Use My Snowblower...Yet...

Hello, and good afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty okay I'd say.   We got a little snow last night, but not quite enough to use my snow blower.   I want to use my snow blower, because I haven't used it in several years.   It wasn't working, so I always just shoveled.   After last Winter I decided to get it fixed.   A friend of ours has a small engine business so I had him tune up the lawn mower, and fix the snow blower.   Snow blower works, and starts up, and I am ready for snow.   :)

It is just a small 2 cycle blower you have to mix oil, and gas, but I am ready.

Other than that not too much going on with me.   Out of the blue I have a full 3 day weekend this weekend.   Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off.   I'll be off at 4:00 AM this morning til Monday at 8:00 PM.  What will I do what will I do??  I have a couple things around the house to do.   I will run.  I may look around for other jobs, just to see what is out there.   My World is open and free.  I would say one of the stories about me the past couple years is I am less and less tied down to stuff.

Some people have jobs, and they tie us down, because we have to eat and stuff, and pay bills.  We have houses with mortgages, and apartments with rents.   It doesn't end either, because we have forever in our minds so there are retirements to plan for.   College isn't cheap, and there are bills.  Debts that need to be paid off, etc...

Life is hard.  How does one survive with a happy heart?  So much to life just weighs on us.  That is a disconnect between me and you too.   I don't worry about the future.   Very little is in my control, and actually I know some things anyway about me and my future, which actually takes a lot of worry out of me.  Perhaps too much, but that is only because I don't know the timing of things.   For instance, I thought this shit right here.  This blog and stuff,  I thought it would be done long ago.   The plans for my future in my mind were going to be done years ago.

Having said that I still don't worry about it too too much, because I get to wake up like this almost every day.   With a heart that is glad, and not worried about too too much.   I work, and I can run, and eat, and a lot of the hang ups people have are nowhere near me.  The stuff in life that may stress people out probably affects you more than me.

Your future is uncertain.  The true answer to your 5 year plan should be I have no fucking clue what will happen in 5 years.   I'll work toward this, but who knows how things will look?  Some will put their faith in themselves really.   I think that is fine in ways, because confidence is a good thing, and willingness to put forth effort is too, but so much to this World is out of your control.  Just look at the Country I live in.   Sooooo much hate on both sides.   What kind of good will come from that??   Hate makes a person's reasoning turn to crap, so EVERYTHING their side says is right.  They can't see the forest from the trees type of thing.

There is a big disconnect between me and you.   I look at life different, and I see it different.  I'd like to take you to my side, because it is better.  There is that trust gap though huh??   You have to eat, and make rent payments, and mortgage payments, and you don't think that is known??   You don't think what you need is known, so you don't trust.

I get it.   Life has tied you into a web, and there is no way out.   Too  many responsibilities, and people expect too much from you right now, and you cannot blow that off.

Every part of the chain that ties you down is known.   Everything.   You got yourself into a big mess called life.   You were destined to, because that is how life works.  I could go on and on, but really there is a big disconnect between me and you. 

I get that you are right, and your reasoning is tight, but there is one thing you don't have, and I bet it is what keeps you wondering, and what keeps you coming back. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Today will be my first snow run.   There may be enough snow when I get back to snow blow too.   :)   WOOP   ;)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Another Day, Another Blog...

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay.   It is still morning, and I am up, and have been up, so I haven't slept as much as I'd like.   Not being able to sleep adds stress a bit to life huh??  I was thinking I want to sleep such and such hours, and trust me it was more than 3, and it ain't going to happen.  I was kinda stressing about it a bit, but then I realized.   It is just one day.   I probably won't be that tired.  I have had a lot of sleep the last few days, and tomorrow, I can sleep as much as I want.  Also I thought too, I have plenty of time to get a run in before I start job #1.

I am enjoying a cup of coffee right now, and I will probably make myself another before my run.  So I have had a blog a while.  This one here the wait has been around for several years.   The day it started, man was I in a good spot.  I knew it, and I knew things were good, and there were several years where the blog was about certain things huh?? 

I'd have to go back, to the first few years to remember, but this was a running blog of sorts, because I ran.  I biked some too.  It was a blog for at least a year or two about trust and strength.  This year if it was about anything it was about failure.   The failure of this blog to do what it was meant to do.   I blogged about half as much as I used to, and I think I was disappointed.   I wanted so much out of people, and they gave very little.   I was negative, and not very giving, and I'd say I wanted people to come out of their shell and open up, and be brave, and stuff like that, and it wasn't there.  

As a running blog I think this blog is about failure very much too, because for the last several years lets face it, I am a great injured runner, but sucky runner otherwise. 

If this blog is a failure, and my running is a failure, well isn't that just a microcosm of life.   Our lives in many ways are failures.  We are not as strong as we'd like to be.  We are not as courageous.  As to virtues which of us has any??

I read a lot of girl bloggers, and there is a disconnect in ways sometimes to how they view a random dude (me) taking an interest in a girls life.  Guys are such a way, and girls know it, and that probably is why this blog was so very much about trust.  It is what I have said before without it you got nothing.  At least as far as I am concerned.  

Remember what Olga said to me a few years ago,  "I trust you, trust me"  That was the quid pro quo that this blog stands on.   That was the one in which people failed.  From where I stood, and my lack of vision into your life I didn't get it.  I couldn't stand in your shoes, and a while ago I blogged about overcoming the first time.   Remember my lack of trust.   "You can save yourself, but at the expense of your friends"

I said "God's Will be done"  My heart felt I was doomed.   I knew he'd save the others, but I was to die.  

I think I just had a plain old simple heart back then.   It was not strong enough to do what needed to be done.   Remember after the Hospital my ordeal wasn't over, because I had to go through a physical depression for like a year or so.  The energy all came back while I was stripping floors at Bromenn Healthcare.   I remember it vividly, and I knew I was free to do as I choose. 

You know one of the things I forgot about during the physical depression??  I was not free to do as I choose at all.   I had to get to a certain point, and the point was if I am destined for Hell, please let me accept it for that which I deserve.  

I am destined for Hell, and I have to accept it this way, so as not to blaspheme.   It is the way to victory.  I totally forgot about that, but that was a necessary step of mine. 

Anyway I am just talking out loud so to speak.   I have noticed a new beginning.   A new year perhaps.   It seems the year of failure is over, and we are back on track kinda.   Not that we are anywhere nearer than when we started, but all lives are failures like the thief on the cross.   The thief wasn't dead yet, so there still was Hope. 

So this blog goes on.  I know the direction, and I know how we will go.   How it will look I have no idea.   What you show I have no idea.   How many will fall away I don't know.   How many may find their way back I have no idea.  

I do realize I have a closer connection to those who I have shared stuff with.   I see them easier, and I know them easier.   Some are very close, because their life has led them this way.   Some are very far, because their life still is very much pretty much ALL about them.  They have a long way to go, and actually it will probably be a hard road. 

When the vision is poor it takes a lot to open the eyes, and that is just the hard truth about that.  

Anyway, as we start a new blogging year, I guess we are in a better position than last year.  

This year was the dead year, and maybe this new year will bring us a better year as far as all this goes.   More courage for people.   More sharing, and less hiding.   There is a lot to our lives, and much we want to hide, because of its imperfections. 

There was one who was really good at showing that stuff sometimes.   Her life was just as imperfect as all of ours, but she was courageous as Hell to let us in.  

I even gave her flowers on my blog like once or twice I think.   :) 

Anyway, I am rambling. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I am not really excited about the cold weather coming, but I do love when you run in the cold, it makes you not think the cold is so cold later on.   At least for me. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D  

xoxoxoxo   MWAH!!!    :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Out Of Nothing...

Hello, and good afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had a great morning of sleep.   I cannot believe I slept til 1:00.  All that means is I am well rested.  I have several hours before work, and I will be in good spirits, and not tired.   I thought I might be a little tired last night, cuz I didn't nap at all, but I wasn't.   Work went pretty well, and it was okay.  

Reason for my title is I have nothing on my mind, and if anything comes out it is from out of nothing.  Kind of like the World huh??   Out of nothing.  The Universe and everything.  Logic would tell you typically everything doesn't come out of nothing huh?? 

Anyway, yesterday I had a pretty good run.   I don't remember the paces, but all 3 miles were ~8:40 pace I believe.  I am not sure if I typically would run that pace as just a standard pace, so I think Hope speeds us up a bit.  Not that it isn't a normal pace, because it is about my PR Marathon pace, so it is a pace I have in the past easily sustained.  So I am getting in shape, and that makes me just want to run more, but since I am running only 3 milers to stay healthy I will take the day off.   Man if I can stay healthy this Spring, how much fun will that be?  

Soooooo I always ask the question, what is going on with me??   Nothing at all.   It is Tuesday, and I work.  Tomorrow I have my long day, which actually ends up being a pretty fun day.  A little stressful, because I rush and rush to get as much done as I can at the grocery store.  That job is the 100M run, and my other is the marathon.   One is all out, and the other is about patience, and taking your time to make sure you do a good job.

Want to know one of the things you will totally never get about me??   How I am the way I am.   Never in a million years will you figure it out.   I am the way I am, because of things that happened out of nothing "seen".   Logic tells us that doesn't happen so how?? 

It makes things kinda silly in a way, because I know how I am the way I am, and I see people seeking ways in which to be the better version of us.   People the whole World around will try to seek answers, and put in some kind of effort to be the person they want to be.  Somehow someway we can work our way to the better version of us huh??  Make a sacrifice here or there.  So there is that, but the World is pretty gray huh??   So if we spend so much time doing x and y, what are we sacrificing at the other end??   What guilt ridden things are we neglecting?? 

Life is hard, and with tough stuff to it.  We want to believe in something, and we want to believe in the virtues we know we must have somewhere right??   We are this person here, and we want to be good, and stand for something. 

There is a freedom about me that is just another thing about me.   Finding the answers about me, and my life lets me know where I stand.   What I am capable of.   The truth about me, and my path lets me know it is all out of my hands.   I am not capable of doing any of the things that need to get done, and there is a plan that is totally out of my hands, and it will be done, and I will be a vessel used in this story that is being told.  

Like I said before it was no small price to pay having to live the life I did, but the reward is crazy, and I barely have even done anything yet.   The best of me is still to come.  

The best of you will still have to come, if you follow the right path.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I didn't do the leaves yesterday, I was tinkering around with some lights Lisa wanted to hang.   She has 3 fixtures, and I started tinkering with the easiest one to do, and it wasn't easy.   :)  I got frustrated, and didn't finish any of the 3.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D  

Monday, November 10, 2014

Monday Monday...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had a pretty good day yesterday.  It started off with a little run, and I saw sub:9:00 paces for all 3 of the miles.  It was just a normal run too, not pushing it at all.   Haven't seen that in a while.  So, I am starting to get back to speeds I saw years ago I guess.  I did my work thing, and spent a little extra time doing a real good job since it was my last time at that place.  I wanted to leave everything in tip top shape.  I then watched football, had some wine, and made lasagna. 

It isn't anything crazy about my day at all, it was just a good day. 

Today I don't have a ton planned.  I may get up some more leaves.   I was hoping to do it just one more time, but a bunch more fell, and there are still a bunch more that need to fall.  I work tonight, but it is only an 8 hour shift, so that is pretty good.  I slept late this morning too.   :)

Ha!!   This update really is about nothing.  Sometimes I go on though, and stuff pops up.   Stuff in ways I know I am different than you.  Makes it kind of weird you know??  Well, no you cannot know.  

This is me though.   I feel pretty good today.  I have my whole Monday ahead of me, and my heart is pretty happy.  Same as yesterday I guess.  

I think I will make a coffee, take the Hopester for a run, and see where this Monday is headed. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  this may be my most about nothing update ever.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Coffee, And A Blog...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am up early, I have coffee, and I guess I am ready to blog.   Hold on.  Going to go get that coffee.  

Okay, I am ready.  I have coffee, blankie, and hoodie so I am nice and warm.  :) 

So, what is going on with me??  Not much, not much at all.  I ended up working like 5 hours yesterday, because there was a lot to be done, so I worked a little extra to try and stay "not behind"  Retail is fun like that.  Always stuff to do.  I feel I got a lot done though in that time, so it was fun.  I am weird like that.  My job currently at the grocery store is to work back stock on Wednesday.  I pretty much do the frozen stuff only.  Saturday I build a couple endcaps for the upcoming weekly sales.  They currently don't have a guy doing my old position, so we scramble to get all that done in my 2 days.   The grocery guys do frozen when it comes in, and that just makes their day longer.   Sounds like they are close to getting a person to do frozen, so things should be pretty smooth than. 

I am really pretty excited these days for the jobs I do, and stuff.   Lisa and I are doing pretty good financially.  Together we make more than we did at our old job, and currently are on the low end of the pay scale rate too.  I like what I do, and it is a good schedule.  After today I will be working only 2 jobs for 2 employers, so that is good.   Over the last few weeks I dropped working at 5 buildings to only 1, so that is a lot less travel, and I know my job.  I know what is expected, and I have an idea of what I will be doing every day I walk in. 

Other than that not much going on.   I am soon going to take the Hopester for a run.  Just a little 3 miler.   Trying to keep in a bit of shape, and stay healthy so when Jan 1. comes around, I can come up with a plan for my training.  It is Sunday, and I have most of the day off.   I have to do a small 2 hour job, and then the day is mine.  I don't work til 8:00 PM tomorrow night either, so I can sleep in if I wish.  :) 

So this is my silly blog.   It is much about nothing, but it also is about stuff too.  It really is the story of my life I guess.   My autobiography.   Written over many pages, and many years.  I don't really know how it looks to you folks, because that is the thing about blogging, and writing our story.   Without feedback we don't know. 

What would you see if you looked in my heart right now??   You would see a person who feels really good.   I have a happy heart, and it is happy the way it is.   I could tell you how I do it, but you already know.   Do you believe it??  I don't know. 

That night long long ago when I gave up.   I could not go back to the emptiness that was my life from way back when.   I couldn't do the physical depression again.  My heart was taken that night, and it is what leads my way.  It isn't always pretty, but that typically is because I see too much fabulousness in the World, and people are toooooo dang good in their own minds. 

I know my path, and I know me.   I know some of you too, and some things I know about all people is what is inside you.   In this way I know you better than you do yourself.   I learned what it is to be a person.   I learned what we are made up of, and I learned our weaknesses, and I learned our truth.  These are things you don't know yet. 

Anyway here I am.   This person who is lucky beyond words.   There is no drug that can make you feel like this when you wake up.  Since I am this way, and you are your way I have no idea what it is like to be you.  I don't know your darkness, and the things you struggle with.  

All I know is it is good to be me, and I am happy to be me.   I ain't perfect, and things aren't perfect, but things are pretty okay you know??  

I can't complain.   It is a pretty great thing to be able to be me.   Allowed to feel as I do.   All those struggles from my whole life were no small price to pay, but this is a pretty good blessing, to be how, and who I am. 

I am thankful I guess, and glad I have done the things I have done.   :)

Glad I could help I guess I should say.  :)

I still have more to do, but that is for a later date.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.   I am thinking one more cup of coffee before my run.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Before I Even Thought About Blogging, I Needed To Start My 2nd Cup Of Coffee...

Yep, I was a bit zonked after yesterday.   It was a pretty productive day at work though.  I am still learning at my new job at how to get better.   Anyway, I will have a new schedule starting next week.   I will only be working M-F at my one job.  I tossed my hat in the ring for an occasional Sunday, but typically M-F, and the grocery store.   Saturday is a few hours at the grocery store, otherwise I am off.   Sunday typically will be off, and the only long day now will be Wednesday.  I like it.  I can also work an extra day or two at the grocery store now too to help fill in for vacations, and whatnot if they need it.  So that is good news.  I figure a more normal schedule = a more normal routine. 

Other than that not much on my mind.   I re-read my post from yesterday.  LOL.   See that is the shit that pours out of my mind on a whims notice.  It took me like 30 seconds to write, and I didn't even think twice about it. 

Maybe that is the telling thing, or at least one of them about me.   Back during the Summer of my discontent, and perhaps after surviving it the last thing I wanted to ever do was ever say anything ever again.   The sword says you will be judged by what comes out of your mouth, and I was afraid of judgement.   I was beaten with judgement, and broken with judgement, and not just the judgement of stupid crap of this life.   The real one.   The final one.  

If you want to know the truth of Heimleblog, and The Journey, I still was terrified throughout the day of what I wrote.   Remember how I used to say I always woke up strong ready to blog, but throughout the day I had internal judging.   I am bad, and I am horrible, and what if people think this, and shit like that.   The difference in the Wait is I don't worry about that stuff.   The promise took hold.   I have passed out of judgement already, although I will need one more ultimate judgement, and then will come understanding, because I will know the multitude's end, what with having to live it. 

Remember what I said after those bad 6 days??   Right prior to those 6 days that old lady in the old people's part of Bromenn Healthcare told me, "I must have the patience of Job to do the job I do."

Remember what I said after??   It is hard to see how good of a person Job was unless one was able to walk in his shoes??  I went through those 6 days, and I learned the truth of Job.   I walked in his shoes, and yeah what that lady told me, and what I wrote freaked me out a ton after those 6 days.   I was afraid of what I wrote.  Terrified actually. 

What she says is the final story of me huh??   If it is hard to see how great Job was, unless you walked in his shoes, then my story is I have to walk in the shoes of the one who went before.  That is where understanding lives, and that is my story, and my walk, and my path.  

It is a big deal too, because I will be judged.   Destined and doomed to the worst place. 

This is my life, and stuff.   These are the things I must do.   Makes everything else seem pretty silly huh?? 

Yeah, I think so too.  

What will you bring to the table??   What nuggets of wisdom will you unfold to this story?? 

There isn't much is there?? 

The tale of our lives for those who have eyes, and ears.   We don't matter, and our lives are silly, although there is serious shit hidden from your faulty hearts.   Things you cannot fathom, and things you cannot understand.   The World blinds you more and more too, the more you hang on. 

Oh well.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I may go for a 3rd cup of coffee.    :P

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Exras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

This Will Be A Day...

Hello, and good afternoon all.  I am surprised I am blogging today, because I have to work at 2:00PM.  I was worried this morning about getting enough sleep, because today is going to end up being a 14 hour workday instead of a 12 hour workday.  I will be doing 3 jobs from 2 different employers, and all will be me on my feet.  :) 

One job we are really short.  Actually we run with a crew of 4.   Currently we only have 3, and we are not sure if the 3rd will be showing up, since he didn't show up last night, and he called in twice in the 8 days he's had the job, and asked for last Friday off too.  :)   Doubt he shows up.  I mean seriously. 

I tossed and turned a bit, since I was worried about waking up on time, but I think I'll be okay.  Tomorrow I won't have to be at work til 5:00, so I can sleep pretty good tomorrow. 

I was thinking yesterday of a disconnect we people have with the absolute truth.  Yesterday was a voting day, and I didn't vote.   I don't care who is running for what office, and what their plans are for kissing babies and wearing suits.  

The absolute truth is our votes don't matter.   Me not voting did not change the course of History, and those who did vote did not either.   In a numbers game I would argue if you are a person who can get 10 people to vote, and convince them to get 10 other people to vote, and so on, then maybe you are making some type of civic gesture.   Making a difference in a small, but perhaps meaningful way.

Otherwise you are not.  Propaganda will have you talk up the voting process, but absolute truth says you are just following without thinking.  Telling people you vote is like praying in Public really.   There will be no medals of Sainthood in your Future for these actions.   There are no medals once you are dead for being a good Citizen.   Chances are you aren't perfect anyway.

That is the Shit I think about.  Our beliefs are so shallow, and so grounded in silly silly shit that has been handed down for Generations.

We want something to believe in, and all we believe in is the the best Shit humans have thought up since forever.

Silence is deadly, and we all remain silent.   All unwilling to throw away the garbage that has filled us since we were kids.

This is what I did right prior to Graduating College.   As those who may have been around way back when I first wrote this I threw everything away.   All my upbringing and teaching, and everything.   Reasoning is if I was born in a racist town in the South with racist parents with only a H.S. education what would stop me from being racist??  Probably nothing, so I threw all the crap out to look at the World objectively.

That led me on the path of my life really.   Looking at Shit objectively you will see the truth.  It is for your eyes, but you CANNOT hold on to all the Shit you have held onto for your whole life.  

There are no medals for what Country you were born in, and there are no medals for damn near anything you can think up on your own.   To get points/medals or whatever you have to do a lot tougher shit than you have ever even thought up yet.  

You have to come to terms with you and your pointless life, and come to terms with how fragile you, and your future are.   Also be willing to learn stuff you probably never even thought up yet.  

A willingness to really give up the fabulous you for the hopes of finding a higher knowledge, and a more lasting wisdom, and maybe even understanding.  

I guess you can always just continue telling people you vote, or pray in public.   Wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day, and shit like that.  


Should be a busy day.  :)


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Keeping My Head Out Of The Clouds...

Hello, and good morning.   How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I didn't sleep as late as I wanted, and that may be because I slept in yesterday.  I may be tired at work today, but maybe not too.   We'll see. 

I am really hungry right now, which is weird, because I am not always terribly hungry when I wake up.  I remembered  though I forgot to bring my lunch last night at work, and didn't eat a ton when I got home.  Also I am not having a cup of coffee, because I may want to nap a bit still. 

So, anyway I got the leaves done yesterday.  There are still more that have to fall, but the bulk of it is done, with one more round to go, once they fall. 

Other than that not too much going on with me.   I am back in the work schedule which is good for me.  A schedule is good for me.  Wanna know why??  Say I took like a weeks vacation.  It is too much.  I don't do enough productive stuff, and I feel down on myself.  Lisa isn't that way, but I am.  A schedule is good for me, and so is work.  Luckily most of the jobs I ever had were active jobs.  Me being on my feet actually doing stuff. 

So maybe some silly personal stuff about me.   I am sorta anti-social these days.   I don't want to go out, and do the same things I have always done.   I am content to stay at home when I have time off.  I don't know if that is aging, or what.   I think of all the things I've ever done throughout my life, and it all seems boring.  

About the only thing I want to do is work.  Hopefully be healthy and maybe even have my first good running year in several years, and then just hang out at home.   I don't particularly want to travel, because there is nothing in the World I feel I want to see. 

I don't know if that sounds sad or not.  It shouldn't because I am glad about how I feel.   I feel content just with how I am.   I know typically life is a look over your shoulder, what am I missing type thing, and that is how I am different.   I am missing nothing.  

Maybe that is a way I am different too.   We seek inside ourselves what makes us up.  Battle ourselves and stuff, and I can only marvel at how I feel, and how I am the way I am. 

Anyway, just a little update.   A blog about me.   I guess this is what I do.  :)


Monday, November 3, 2014

This Is Post 1259

So, this is my 1259th post to my blog.   Just this one here too.  That is almost 4 straight years of blogging.  Crazy huh??  I don't know why, but I just thought of that. 

Anyway it is Monday, and I have to work tonight.  I am kinda glad too, because too much time off for me isn't anything I want really.  I am weird that way.  I had a good weekend though.  I did two little jobs, one on Saturday, and one on Sunday, and that was it.   I relaxed a lot, and feel ready to start another week I guess.   I was going to run yesterday, but decided against it. 

So that is that.   My life really is just this simple stuff.   Eat, sleep, wake up, relax, etc...   I will probably run short til January 1, and then start training for Spring races.  Riverbank for sure, and not sure if anything longer or not.  We'll see.  Right now I am contemplating a Fall Marathon for next year.  Once again we will see.   Running and staying healthy have not exactly been seeing eye to eye in my World. 

So anyway, this blog is a thing.   It is a going concern.  Something I spent time doing, but mostly just cuz I feel like it.   With me people come, and people go, but I still remain.  This blog still remains, and it keeps going. 

Sometimes it has important stuff in it, and I would imagine maybe more times than not it has important stuff in it.  It may not be stuff you want to read or hear, but that is tough.   Life has some tough stuff to it, and you cannot hide from it. 

There is a truth out there, and I HAVE found it.   I know what my life is about.  I know who I am, and these types of things.  It is good to be me, and actually you have no idea how good it is to be me. 

I have a life, and I have a story, and perhaps people are just FINALLY coming to terms with the fact you are not the best a person can be.   You have shortcomings, and weaknesses, and stuff like that.   We build up our lives with pictures, and things, but I know a lot of what is inside people, and we really are not all that are we?? 

I think deep down we want to live a life that matters, but there only is one way for that.   I have gone on and on about that though, and that is another thing you don't want to believe.  Pretty funny my life went in a direction it did.   My life was set aside to find the truth, and answers, and things like that.   I went through a number of things to find the answers, and when it came time to tell people they didn't believe me. 

My whole life was for this, and the people spit it back in my face.   Crazy huh?? 

What do I think about it??   Well, I am here for a purpose, and what needs to get done will get done.   I just don't know how it will happen, but it will.  People have to go through some tough stuff, because hearts are hard, and the flesh is weak, and the World entices, and everything.  

There are so many things that need to be done, and we barely even begun.   We haven't even made one minor step, and already people are falling away.   That to me is pretty nutty too. 

Anyway, not much really going on other than that.   I have to do the leaves today, because I didn't do them this weekend, but even so, I liked this weekend.   It was pretty good.  

Sooo, anyway just getting some stuff down.  


xoxoxoxo   MWAH!!!    :)