Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I had a ton of stuff I was thinking about before getting up. I went to bed really early.
Anyway it started off me having a dream of my step mom who passed away a long time ago. I always figured her end probably was not a good one knowing my life, and all the things I have had to do. Her death was important to me, and an important part of my life. The dream made me realize she just had to become the thief on the cross, and everything was in place for that. So who knows?? I don't dwell on the dead, cuz there is nothing I can do for them. I don't dwell too much on the living either, cuz once again there isn't much I can do for them either.
I remember one year after her death I cried for her, and Harry Truman of all people, and Jesus too. I am pretty sure it is the only time I saw Jesus clearly. Anyway I cried for their hard life they had. Crazy how high I thought of Truman for a while huh??
The timing is all a little nutty here. Mom dies, 8 months later Katrina and I break up on my birthday, and a few days after that my grandpa dies. I was wondering if I had already been through the eye of the needle. I think maybe, but don't think I did those bad 6 days yet. I have no idea. I would guess those 6 days were the following Spring, and my Summer after. Things really moved quick.
I also thought about a lot of the girls I was with from the time carolynn and I broke up after hs til the time I moved to holland. Besides Katrina, and to a certain extent Natalie I had several brief affairs. Some as short as 1 night ;)
A life lived. A life of imperfection, and a person deserving of nothing. People always end up taking a wrong path, and eventually think they are deserving of stuff. We all are the thief though. With the proper steps your heart can be made right. Life is a blur. One day you'll wake up old, and your life has passed you by.
My life I realize does not matter much. I have a good name, and I guess that is okay. There isn't much to this life at all. None of it really matters. It is fine by me too, cuz my eyes see me clearly. I know my worth, and without help I am absolutely nothing.
Anyway my life is a crazy trip, and this morning was pretty crazy too remembering all this stuff.
Truman??? Sheesh. :)
Luv ya's!!! :)