Wednesday, June 3, 2015

When Did This Start ?

I remember reading running blogs one day, and I started a blog the next day. It was maybe much if the same as mine is today, but maybe different. I was strong every morning, but not sure if I wanted people to read or not. Let's just say from day 1 through the journey til now I have gained a ton of confidence.

One thing I don't understand really is how was it to know me before as compared to now.  I have no idea. How could so much if me be hidden for so long, and then finally come out. Why did those running blogs make me blog?   Lol

We may never know, but it all just seemed right. There were tough days during the first two blogs.  Some very hard. Some stuff I knew for a long time, and that stuff came into play. The bad hidden stuff that some don't even know exists.  It is the bad stuff inside us that overpowers us. I dealt with much of that part of people.

When they came to me they were not able to overcome me, cuz I had help. I didn't have the security of a full spirit to battle the enemies, and they were way craftier with the sword than me. My help is hidden, and those hard days helped build trust in me.

My little knowledge of these types of things is as those things left people to come to me, I believe they returned, but with more bad stuff than what actually was started with.

I didn't do this with all people, but some.  Those who have a tougher road this is probably why. A lot has been given to some, and a lot is expected. I've been given a lot, and I have given all. What I've been given is free, and really a gift, and I give it away freely.

All avenues of life start with one step, and it is a first step that must be taken. To be who deep down you want to be is not even close to possible on your own. To be able to see through all the dark corners of your life is not possible unless you have someone shine the light inside. That too is not remotely possible on your own.

You are a slave to who you are now. Impossible to make any significant improvements to the things that are important. The first step should come from a desire for you to just want to be a better person. To deal with all the dark parts of your life so you can get to know you, and not be ashamed of anything.

You never know a persons path really. You never really know why Hitler was as he was. The story of Hitler as a person is a single person standing on his own.  Not so far away to become the thief on the cross.  People need to be pulled in order to stand like the thief. Remember how I was pulled way back when. I saw death, and my own shortcomings, and I wanted me to matter.  I wanted this existence to mean something.

In the end my existence doesn't really mean much. Sure I help, and I have an important job, but anyone else can do it.

I am nothing special, and never was. I am just someone who has been singled out to do a job. I do it, because I have been made to want to.

That is pretty much it.  :)

Okie dokie, today is the same as yesterday. Run, ride work.

Adding Jacob and his brothers and their wives.

I am sure I was always going to anyway.



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