Thursday, June 18, 2015


I think my life is pretty slow. I am not rushing out to do this, and do that. There was a time when I wanted to learn all the things. You spend a lot of time trying to get good at different stuff. Most of this stuff wasn't about me making money, but maybe more about me making a name. I had the gift of energy, so I knew I could do a lot. I knew I was singled out for something, and I knew a lot of the things that people don't even know is real or possible.

There was a time where I learned a valuable lesson. The day I gave up. The day I couldn't go on anymore, the day I lost.   Also that day during one of my long'ish Monday runs when I knew my heart was wrong. This was one of the many hard days back then, but my heart was made right, when I said, "my life is worth so little do with it as you will."

It was a pretty big mistake I made.  This isn't about me being special, and it surely isn't about me being deserving. So many mistakes of understanding me.

Maybe the best thing about me now is I know my worth. This guy who once was a little boy is nothing special. Of all the things I will do, it won't be because of my greatness, that is for sure.  Here we have a disconnect. Not with all but some. There really are only two roads, and from your view they look totally different. One looks all sparkly and bubbly and fun and exciting, and one surely looks different than that. Maybe scary.

One promises the World, and the other promises nothing.

One will surely disappoint, and the other is worth everything if you can make it the whole way. One is all about you, and the other will help you learn all about you. One is the truth, and the other is anything but.

The one that is sparkly and bubbly and based on lies, propaganda, and advertising will disappoint. There is no end to that game.

The other there is an end. A time when you are done, and you won.

Everyone always takes the sparkly road, but decades ago I took the other route. I didn't know what it meant really, but now that I am decades into this thing I can confirm to you it made all the difference. I've learned so much, and I've seen things you cannot even fathom. I learned all about me, and actually in so doing I learned much about you.

I still am not done really. I still haven't gotten what I wanted, but being in this holding pattern isn't horrible. It is a good thing to know my place, and to know my worth, and I cannot even imagine what I will be like when this is over. I have no idea.

So yeah this lowly person who once was a little boy sits in a pretty good spot. I am lucky to be me.

Anyways I guess that is it.



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