Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am fine. I didn't sleep for shit last night. I don't know why. Yesterday was a pretty awesome lazy ass day. I watched the Ted Bundy 4 part documentary, and binge watched a show called The Sinner. It's with Jessica Biel. It was just a murder mystery type program. The reason I watched it cuz I thought it was Jennifer Beals of Flashdance. :)
It was okay. I was entertained. The only thing I did other than sit on my ass watching tv, was prep the pot roast for the slow cooker, and ran the snowblower again. I'll probably have to do it again today after work, and maybe again tomorrow.
It was okay binge watching tv. I realize I never do it. Last time I did it was when I was sick during Thanksgiving. I guess I am pretty busy doing shit. I never really think about how busy I am. I always have shit to do. Maybe I should try to watch more shows. It's kinda fun. Not a huge priority obviously.
I did catch a glimpse of me, and how I must seem here. Kinda odd in a way I guess. I found Ted Bundy to be an interesting character. Can't imagine why he felt the need to kill all those girls. How can you even come to terms with it? He always put on a brave and confident face, but looking inside himself what did he see? What overpowered his common decency to be like that?
I know some stuff about him that he may have never learned about himself. I know things that overpowered him to not be as good of a person as he'd like. How he justified himself I have no clue.
We all have shit inside us that makes us less than Saints. I learned that long ago. Being alive is having all kindsa shit to be guilty about. I am sure we all have things about us we are ashamed of.
I have a huge list of not nice shit I've done. I never killed anyone or anything, but I ain't perfect. That's for sure. I did go out , actually was led in a direction to learn about me. What made me less than I wanted? I learned who I really wanted to be is beyond my power. I found my path to be transformed into what I want. It's my story. I just have no say when it is. I tried going a long time ago, but the timing wasn't up to me. I thought several Thanksgivings ago was my time, but it wasn't.
I've been ready, but my blog is the wait, and I think I have to wait for others to be ready. Everyone is scattered so, I have no clue of much.
In the meantime I live my life. It's pretty simple. I don't have anything to worry about really, except this snow, and the 3 days of 40°+ rainy days coming up. It's gonna be wet. Hopefully not in my basement.
Other than that not much. Ted Bundy was not so far to ask for forgiveness. The scary thing for us is the light I think. We don't want our shitty secrets known. God knows what people think about. Also people don't know what makes up their darkness.
You can't fake your way to sainthood. You ain't there either. You and I both have that in common. I know this truth about us. I suspect you probably don't.
The Ted Bundys make it easy on us to judge others, while taking the more difficult job of just judging ourself off the table.
In life we have to do hard introspection. You ain't gonna like everything you see either.
Anyhoo.
Til next time.
Laterzzz. :)
xoxo. :)
xxoo. :)
Byeeeee. :)))
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