Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Ugly Me...

Good Morning all... errr.... afternoon.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   This will be one of those posts you may like, because who doesn't want to see someone show you their bad side??   I know I do.  The World and Society is filled with people saying always be positive.  You should always be nice to people.  Always be caring, and blah blah blah. 

Some people take assholeness to a new level with being always in a bad mood.  Always picking favorites, always just being mean, but I don't like those people, and I tend to have nothing to do with them. 

So a little about me.  Now as some of you know a bit of my life... or none of you do, who knows??  One thing I realize about me is as I have said I have been through a lot of things, and many of them pretty solo.  I think I have said very solo.  No one knows, and can even come close to walking in my shoes. 

What does that mean for me??  It means I am not afraid of solo.   My solo journey pretty much means I can take or leave anything or anyone I guess.  There must be a reason for that.  Maybe it makes me strong, and there are probably other reasons too, which have to do with the other side of the equation.   YOU. 

Ever since this here blog started up I have been very confident.  Sure there were some bumps in the road, but I have been very confident and very assured of my direction.  I knew I have done all I need to do, and the final thing will be done for me.  

Remember how I said to race a good 5K you can be behind pace at the 2/3 point, and then you have to build.  That is how my Journey has unfolded.  I was to do something 3 times, and I have only done it twice.  We are past 2/3s of the way done, and have been since this thing started up.  I thought this was going to be done a long time ago.  I really think it would have too, but a couple/few years back you couldn't make the turn.   I was shocked at that actually.  Surprised. 

Now I know as this thing goes on it isn't a simple thing to do.  Why was it for me??  Did I not just graduate from College and have the World at my feet??   Could I not have done whatever??  I loved learning, and I wanted to learn more.   I wanted to do something that matters.   Peace Corp.??  Something.  I wanted to matter. 

That was so sooooo long ago, but I still remember it like yesterday.  Why was it so easy for me, and hard for everyone else??   I am not sure.  I have been singled out though to live a life of learning, and a life of suffering.  I was led on a path to find strength, and to search for the truth, and have the ability to ACCEPT all that the truth stands for. 

What do I want from others???   After yesterday's post I guess I thought about it a bit.   I am not sure I guess.   I guess I want more though, because Shit is a bit different now.   There are important things that need to be done, and I think people want to hide their head in the sand.   Keep it protected in our shell, because you don't want to see the truth.   I can say with almost 100% certainty you won't do anything harder than I have done.  That was my path, and that was my story.  It doesn't mean anything about me except I was singled out for that. 

Others have a part to play, and they really need to play it.  It is a serious thing we do with important consequences.  I think maybe people want to go back to a simpler time.   When things were not so scary, and maybe we felt a little better. 

Those days are gone.  You have to accept some stuff, and accept your route.  It won't be easy.  You will need to be brave, and have courage and all those things,  but shouldn't trust help you with all that??   Isn't trust like the best crutch of all.  To humbly say here I am with all the fear, because you know you are not strong enough to do what needs to be done.  You are so important to you, and the way is different.  

I hear you.  The path is hard, and the step is hard, and I know you are afraid you will be unfaithful, and disobedient.  Heck you already have been.  The story of ages ago is one of forgiveness.  It is what he wants to show the most, but there is the other side too.  

Wanna know a secret???  For those of you believers    We were created in God's image.  A dark side to us all.   There was one who didn't have the dark side.  He was created all light.   All truth, and could walk open and naked on this Earth.  (Naked is always metaphorically speaking)   Do you think that is why we have night and day??   Dark and light??  

Anyhooo there is only one who didn't have the dark side.  It isn't you.  It is this we need to get to know, and come to terms with.   Society says to seek the light in us all and be blind to the darkness.   I say get to know your darkness.  It is a part of you, and there are some things in there you have to learn about.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!!     :)))

p.s.  I am going to run on the track soon.  I think no matter what my schedule is I don't like running at 6:30 PM.  I'd rather do stuff sooner rather than later.   Something about me. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D 

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