That is what I am doing.
Lisa doesn't always like it when I am so honest. She thinks I will hurt some feelings.
Hailey and her boyfriend came home to pick up some stuff. I told her boyfriend to be real. Be fucking honest. Don't pretend you know some martial arts shit you don't, or that you've never seen fireworks. People don't like him, cause he is a know it all, and a fucking liar. I told the son-of-a bitch to fucking be honest and people will like you. Lisa tried to keep the reins on my honesty. Me telling the fucker to be real will do him more good, then pretending I like him, and telling people the fucker is a dick behind my back.
I hugged the two biggish lesbian girls who were their driver. Why?? Because Savannah was honest. She told me in one sitting she lived in a foster house, because I think her Dad beat the hell out of her or something. They needed gas money so I gave them $20 instead of the $7 they asked for.
I haven't always been honest, but I swear a lot, and have for a loooooongggg time!! Honesty to me was hard. Now it is pretty easy, keeping the reins on is hard. I was going to yell at some people in our front office for changing someone's schedule without telling them. This guy who has a set schedule got scheduled on a Sunday, and no one told him. Who the fuck changes a set schedule without telling a person?? What happened here?? This person was suspended. Is that a big deal?? yes, because it is going to make it hard to feed the fucking kids. I told Lisa I was going to go off. She told me not too. I said yeah you are right why not. In WWII we killed tons of kids, what is a couple more starving ones. It would not have been pretty, and I walked away mad for Lisa not letting me say my piece.
Love lives in the light. Open and honest. It isn't easy. You have to just fucking toughen up and do it. Fuck it!!!
It is raining again, so I assume you will not have the best of days today.
I am going to run in this shit, and I don't give a fuck!!
That is it for me today!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
It is for your own good!! trust me.
This blog post = lol!!! :)
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1 comment:
I think I understand where Lisa's coming from...it's not what you say but how you communicate your message. Taking into account the other person, giving the benefit of the doubt, putting yourself in their shoes first, calculating the opportunity cost of your honesty...telling your truth on this blog and telling people what you think of them are separate entities. Even Jesus let sinners sin.
Whatever you are waiting for or living for may not be the same goals others are walking toward. I realize you want to help humanity, but I also realize how misinterpretations may unintentionally hurt. Life can be heavy enough without the added weight of a friend's expectations. You and Lisa are friends but you got mad when she told you her honest opinion (about "saying your piece"). Unintentional hurt? Misinterpreted communication?
Words hurt people because people feel hurt. Most humans I know struggle with defining their personal truth. Most people I know struggle with personal honesty. You and I may be dumping our truth onto an overloaded soul without realizing. And that would "make it hard to feed the fucking kids" also, if mommy or daddy's self doubt sent them into a tailspin of depression, fueled by our fire of uncensored honesty.
Please tread lightly the path of righteousness Steve. My "weight" is as honest as your "wait."
Lorraine
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