Friday, May 15, 2020

A Much Needed Day Of Rest

Between yard work, and regular work I've been pretty busy. My body needed to recharge. Plus I  was only sleeping like 5 hours. Last night I slept 7-1/2. I needed it too. I did exactly what I said I'd do too. Nothing. We ate dinner, and I  went to bed at 6:30 PM. It is raining again today, so I'll have to drive. 

Other than that not much. I see it was another bad day in virus World. I know you are supposed to look at numbers in blocks like weeks, but a bad day is a bad day. I take it in stride. I am not sick, and I don't know anyone who got it. The guy who shares my table at work got tested. He is having surgery today for a hernia, so I feel I've been tested too. Obviously test is clean,  cuz surgery still on. 

Of course when you think of it, I don't really know a lot of people.  I keep in touch with less and less. I am happy as I am. Content kinda. Financially I am fine, but that shit is a wind chaser. You never have enough. I don't really have any hobbies outside of I like to keep busy. We all know I am not exactly sociable outside work. I have one day off per week, and I try to get a lot done that day. 

Earlier I heard thunder,  and that gave me a feeling of security. Thunder is a thing to fear. Thunder we can hear. In the past thunder could scare me, but also be used to keep me in my place. It is pretty incredible how insignificant of a being I am. Have I ever had pride?  Of course. We kinda are born with those types of things, or maybe just a normal thing we pick up along the way. What isn't normal is seeing, accepting,  and believing our very little worth we have to bring to the table. 

I've learned a lot of little things like that in my life's journey. These days my purpose seems lost compared to what goes on day after day. I don't worry about it. Just an observation. I am two different people. A person of this World who just is a part of it. Also the other part of me who is to be used for a purpose,  but that seems kinda far away. It can kinda be like this virus though. Same old same old, and bam. The World is different. I am not saying for me that is how it will happen. It just can. There is no playbook for what I am doing. Just a vessel, not the author. I am fine with it. I am secure in my own insignificance. Cuz I am accepted. The story will be finished, and I don't have to do anything. Just go for the ride kinda. I'll be afraid I am sure. Afraid just cuz I am so helpless kinda. Like the only thing that can mess this up is me, and I surely don't want to count on me.   :)   plus the suffering part probably won't be great. Afterwards I will be full in spirit though, which I know will be crazy, having a taste of it before. Also understanding too, which is something way beyond any of our abilities. How life looks at this point I don't know. No clue. What's my purpose after that I don't know either. We'll see I guess. 

Anyway, like I said that seems distant, but probably it isn't. I still live my life like I am a part of this World. You kinda have to, until it's time for me to become different. 

Anyways, I spose.  

Laterzzzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.       :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.     :)))

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