Good Afternoon all. How's it going?? Me, I actually woke up pretty dang tired today. I know I know, why not stay asleep?? I can tell I was done sleeping, even though I am tired. One of the weird things about me.
Anyhoo, I did get a run in this morning. It is different getting a run in before work as compared to getting a run after work, and before bed. Easier running before work, but still a run is a run, and they are all pretty good if you are into it. I am into it too these days. Today I just ran 3 miles, and my pace was a stupid 8:42. My legs were definitely feeling a bit better today, but I have no clue why I was running 8:42 pace. Hope dragging me?? I decided to listen to my breathing after a while, and I wasn't going a real tempo pace or anything. I wasn't going a plod along long distance pace, so not sure what to make of it. Getting in shape??
So my title today is my title, because I have absolutely nothing on my mind. Our personalities are such we need/want to find that something that makes us special huh?? What is our worth?? What makes us unique?? What is it about us that makes us the special person we know we have to be??
I hate to tell you what was taught me on my Summer of Discontent. Nothing special about me. Nothing unique that makes me stand out. The truth of the matter is there was only one person who was special, and one who was strong, and one who overcame. The rest of us are weak. Enslaved to the lives we have been born in. Growing up reading all the fairy tales, and life had to be good somewhere right?? I mean we are here. We are special right??
The sad answer to that question is not really. To get to the truth of us we have to see our true worth, and I have been saying our own worth is one coin. Like that parable. It isn't a unique coin in the eyes of the one who matters, but there are those special ones who will find the coin, and do with it as it was intended. Some people stand out. Some people are strong, and will find their way. It may take some doing, and some life pulling, but you will be led in the way you need to. It isn't easy, and it isn't a path of all smiles. It is a path of the truth of life. Such a simple saying huh?? "The truth will set you free." Seems simple, but it is a lot more than any of us bargained for huh??
So, as I am pointing out how life entangles us all. There is one who overcame. One who came to teach the ways of being free. Free from the tangles of the World, and it is a heck-uva thing to go through. So hard to overcome us huh?? We are special, we are unique, we can do this and that, and this and that. We have opposable thumbs, and brains that can do some pretty neat stuff. One thing I learned too that summer is how small and insignificant our brains are. I saw how little of the stuff we really see.
Life went on, and we lived it to the best of our abilities, and now we are supposed to look for the other stuff. The things you are seeking in life do not end where you think. I know I know I write some tough stuff on here. I have known this stuff for a long time, and I have lived it. My path was to be like this for whatever reason. I guess the thing that is really weird to me is why people haven't jumped on and said I am ready. Let's go. The pull of life I guess is more than I ever thought. Then I was thinking why was it so easy for me to do what I have done. Then I realized, life broke me. My heart could see no good, and I wanted to be good, and worthwhile, and live a worthwhile life. A life that matters. I guess I have been given that, and still I really can do so very little which is crazy. Oh, there will be a time where I will be able to do quite a lot, but that is when the wait is over, and I do my final thing. Then I will be able to do a really really lot. It is then that I will be full again, and you know what?? I don't trust the fullness anymore do I?? I don't need it. I still have the final words to worry about.
"Why hast thou forsaken me?" I live in the light, and it isn't me who controls the light, but the light is in me. It lets me know I am seen. Everything, and when I do the final thing that will leave. Yet I will not be alone like the one who overcame, because for me to do what I have to do, I will need his strength to help me survive. Those will be some crazy things. I cannot imagine, but I am not afraid, and maybe that is naive, but as always I have been wanting it to be over. My life's Journey has always always been about this final thing. I just had to do a ton of other stuff along the way. I didn't know, and I didn't lead, and I didn't author this story, and it was not my ideas. It wasn't my story.
So let's see what people's next steps will be.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Football Sunday with the Bears off?? I hope I get a CLE game this week. ;)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D