Friday, August 31, 2012

I Wanted To Sleep Later Than This...

Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  As the title suggests I wanted to sleep later than this, but I was up.  I typically know when I am up.  I know sleep will not be happening anymore.  That is this time right here, and right now.

I was just thinking of how much time I invest in this little thing here.  A lot huh??  Why you ask??  ummm,  Not sure really.  Is it weird for me to say this is something I am supposed to do??

You have seen me in all kinds of areas too huh??  Can this be done??  I don't want to do it anymore, but really on most days I do feel like doing this.  For whatever reason.

You have seen me be silly, angry, happy, excited.  You have seen me harp on how stupid life, but in a funny way, and typically in a pretty happy way.  I myself have been taken down many roads so it seems.  I have let you see how a guy thinks.  I have been taken to the depths of despair in order to help some people.

My whole life is and has been a learning process.  Really, it seems the whole journey was to show me all the things that are possible.  Show me really the miracles that are available, but to do it in a way where I realize I am not special.  I have done nothing to deserve who I am, and what I am asked to do.

Here I will get a bit weird on you.  I in the early stages of a new and transformed me was very full.  Secure in all things.  Strong in all things.  Full of joy, and I can not even explain to you.  This is after my 6 days of suffering the worst persecution ever.  So yeah,  I thought I was something special.

Then it was all taken away.  I was empty, and very very scared, because I did not want to go back to the place of persecution.  I had no security.  I was given a lesson though.  The persecution came back, and in it a teaching lesson. It was taken away like that.  It let me know who was in charge.  Who had all the power, and who controls things.

The journey was not to trust in my fullness, but to trust in only one.  I didn't always trust btw.  Remember my whole journey was trusting in my energy, I trusted in early blog times.  We trust in a lot of stuff, and our path we take is a hard one where we learn there is nothing on Earth we should trust.  You were asked to throw away your 5 year plan and 10 year plans, and trust there is a wiser course you will be led on.

You won't feel great about doing this btw.  You do have hopes and dreams, and your life is a big deal.  One of the lessons is you don't always do the right thing with a good heart.  "Those who loved me are those who have done what I say."

Crazy stuff huh??  Righteous isn't righteous is it?  Remember I wanted to be right, but I was supposed to be faithful.

I was too.  I did not do one dang thing to overcome what I have overcome.  Hospital, and the end of the Journey.  I still have one final thing to do, and I do not know when it is.  This year, next year??  Could be any.  I have been given a strong and courageous heart not to fear what I must do.

I have not done one dang thing.  All the good I have done has been done for me.  With a blessing too comes basically a Midas touch.  Right prior to going into the Hospital I was given the blessing.  It was something I knew, and something I felt.  I didn't care.  It wasn't that I wanted.  The blessing has made me do some things.  It has made me do hard things I guess.

Crazy things.  I hope that this isn't too hard to understand.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Adding Cory Schroeder and his wife Tracey, and Johnny Garcia and his wife Perle.  They are strong people, and well, Cory and I go way back.  We have known each other a long time.  He is a Bears fan and a Tigers fan.  One of those half good half bad people.  :)

This is just an extra honest something something.  I don't really do baby announcements on this thing, but Beau and Charity had their kid a week or so ago.  I was in my own deal, and never congratulated them on the kid.  Reasons are many.  No one knows them two better than me, and really I was babied out anyway.  Between bloggers I read, and people I work with there have been a billion babies.  Me, I am not really into them too much you know??  

I am not perfect.  I am not always nice, and sometimes my life is about me too you know??

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now for really really cya cya cya!!   :D    :D

not really the direction I meant to take on this blog update.  Oh well.   :)

Have a good one all.   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


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