Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Knew It!!

So last night was a surprise.  We did Yasso's.  You know one thing of Yasso.  I assume everyone knows that.  It is an idiom of sorts to runners right??  ;)  It is 800 repeats, where you try to hit your marathon time for those two laps.  You want to run 3:40 (Which I decided is my goal)  then on those two laps you have to hit 3:40.  It ends up being a tempo pace.  If my goal was a 3:30 marathon, then that would sure be a hard tempo, but 3:40 isn't that hard this time of year.  More of a 10K effort. 

The plan was 12 of them.  I didn't really hit it on my first 4.  I knew this was not an all out pace for me, so I was finding my pace.  3:43, 3:41, 3:48, 3:49.  I think it was like that.  Between zoning and stuff, I just didn't hit it on the first 4.  I took a Gatorade stop after 4.  The next 4 easy.  3:40,3:39, 3:40, 3:39.  I was totally in the Matrix zone.  I was confident I'd be able to hit the next 4, and probably blow out the 4th to perhaps a World Record.  :)  Alan said on 2nd thought stop at 8.  To be honest I wanted those last 4.  I knew I had them.  Alan knows what the heck he is doing though, and I always know sometimes less is more.  Also this Saturday he nixed the 20 miler.  He said only 15.  The hard stuff is over.  It seems sad to say.  I really do like the hard stuff.  At this point a 15 miler is an easy day.  Do I even have to nap after that??   :)

I am ready.  I feel good about my training.  Many days I crawled up to this blog knowing I didn't hit everything I wanted.  I kept battling though.  This was a hard summer of training.  Through it all though I did get my stuff in.  For my job you know I cannot get a zillion miles in each week, but all year long I try to get at least 100 each month.  The last two months were both over 150.  That is a lot for me.  I once ran 180 in a month, but didn't show up on race day...well I showed up, but didn't run.  So I did what I could, and feel good about my training.  I may end up with 3:35 too, who knows.  I feel confident in 3:40 though, so that is my time. 

As we approach this marathon, I cannot help but look past.  5K training starts up almost right away.  Wednesday is a recovery run, and probably go long on that Saturday.  12 miles btw.  Winter is great training for me too, because Jim and Jerry train in the winter.  A lot of times in the fall I am solo.  Nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it is fun when Jim throws his little tempos in to leave us in the dust.  :)

So there you have it.  I train all year for this marathon, but right away I am thinking of my 5K after, and the training after.  This isn't a once and done type thing.  This is a lifestyle.  One I enjoy.  You know what else I think?  Since I won't be running 10's and 12s during the week, I can add more run days.  Tuesday nights downtown, I can probably run 5 times a week now.  I think my legs are getting used to this running thing. 

Well, I don't know, all this stuff sure is pretty exciting to me. 

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Riverbed Manicures...

and other ways to make sure your team wins!!!  :)

You know the routine, title first, and go from there.  There were no workouts yesterday, just a bike to work and back.  I had to do a couple things for Lisa in the yard, and she said it was hammock time for her.  That was really her way of saying Steve make yourself a drink, sit outside, and listen to some music.  That is what I did.  At work we were talking of making a nice meal.  Not really sure what we intended, but we figured we would go shopping and make something.  Do you ever get like that?  In the morning you have all these ideas of things you want to do, and boom.  You get off work, and your like.... nah!!  We ordered Pizza!!  :)  On Tuesday nights the place down the road has a buy one get one free.  So we got a vegetarian one, and a sausage and mushroom one.  I ate two pieces of each.  :)

Another thought I had yesterday was bike riding.  You know in the Spring I want to ride my road bike like 8 million miles each week, and as the summer drags on it becomes work.  I really enjoy riding my work bike to work and back though.  Our Hardware manager Tony said he is the same way with his motorcycle.  Spring a billion miles, and then it slows down.  I guess you survive the weekdays in February, and everything looks great in April.  By August you are used to everything.  As fall approaches you get excited a bit about doing cold weather stuff.  Cooking a nice meal, having a bottle of wine, is one of my favorite things during cold weather.  It is all great, until you are smack dab in the middle of weekdays in February.  :)

I love change, and I love the change of seasons.  I love running in it all.  Bike riding might get old, but running never does.  4,6,8 milers whatever.  They are all great when it is cold.  That is how I think, I know everyone is different.  I didn't mind swimming, but indoor biking is the worst.  :)

I was thinking of some of my earliest childhood memories.  In Cedar Rapids me and my brothers would play football.  I think John, and instead of going for touchdowns we went...or at least I did.... for a little mudhole to get all dirty so I could look like a football player.  I looked tough.  I am sure I won the game too.  :)

We had a garbage burning can in the back yard.  It was burning garbage.  I touched it to see if it was hot.   It was.  :)

In Palatine, Illinois my first memory I remember was being in the front yard at the corner of the house.  I was 6.  No thoughts about anything, but that is my first memory of being in Palatine.  :)

I once was late for first grade class.  I was too shy to show up late, so I decided to walk a street by our house 473 million times, and figured class would be out by then.  I made it like twice, and headed to the back of our shed.  My Dad found my shivering body, and told me we were going to class.  I cried, because I was scared.  He said I'll kick your ass if you don't go.  I said o.k.  kick my ass.  :)  We went to school, and Mrs. McKenzie hugged me when my Dad told her the story.  :)

Holy Shit was I a shy kid.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!  :)

p.s.  I have a feeling I know the workout tonight.  Not telling here though!!!  :)

Now for real cya!!!  :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Monday Longish Run

My training has no plan... except I do what I did last year, because it seemed to work.  I have 3 important days.  Wenesday speed, Saturday long, and Monday longish.  Last year I swam a lot in between workouts for my cross train.  This year I did some biking, but not too much after the spring.

I cannot help but think yesterday was an important workout for me.  My legs were definitely not all that fresh after Saturday.  I knew I had to go out Sunday for a bit, because I knew I was running Monday.  I knew I was running longish on Monday.  I will be honest it was work.  This was not a day where I was zipping around in great running temps to get a good run in.  This was me getting 10+ miles in on not so fresh legs.  I was low on water, so I made my turnaround at mile 11 instead of 12, and didn't finish my loop, but just ran the 1/2 mile home.

Just a couple things to mention, and I think I mentioned it.  It was a hard workout, but I think an important one.  My Monday longish runs are down to probably 8 or so next week, so glad those are over.  I am now getting close to the time where 12 mile runs will not be my longish Monday runs, but my long Saturday runs.  The crazy math has an end line.  Pretty soon 16 miles will be a pretty long effort, not an easy long run.  That is the crazy math at its extreme.  16 miles is a long way to run.  10 miles is a long way to run.  Once you finish 16 you still have 10+.  The miles need to clip off after 13.1 before you think of the finish.

I have a goal in mind now.  I signed up for the Marathon, and the goal is 3:40.  I think it is doable.  I am not sure what the pace is, I should look it up.  :)   I am thinking 8:20'ish... I think.  I'll look it up before the race, don't worry.  :)

Last night was not a great night otherwise.  It was o.k., but then some stupid family business.  Sometimes the capacity of some people to only think of themselves is overbearing.  I am not talking of Lisa, Me, or Kevin either.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

You know I just wake up in the morning and write.  I would be fine not doing it, but it seems I have to.  The Journey started after a hard time, and it was hard to get started.  I know it was right though.  I wanted to hide.  I didn't want anyone to see what I had to write I don't think, because the time before did not end so well.  I have no idea how what I write will be taken.  I just do it and go.  I caught a glimpse of what I wrote yesterday and what it meant.  I have a feeling I know what people are trying to hold onto.  But what of my loved ones????   Trust!!!   You think he'd give you a snake???

10.37 @ 9:09

Monday, September 27, 2010

Oh I Am Totally Due!!

For a list.  It has been a while.  I was doing these almost every day for a bit.

  • Before I got up, I was thinking of that Kent City 15K.
  • That was a P.R.
  • Jim and I napped for like 47 hours after that race.
  • Jerry did a 872 page to do list.
  • I forgot about that!!  :)
  • That wind on Saturday is going to help me as did that Kent City 15K.
  • A blessing in disguise if you will.
  • I know all about those!!  :)
Okay enough of that list.  My vacation is over, and I have a couple things I would like to say.  One is I am ready to go back to work.  Monday is the worst day at work, because it is pretty boring, but if I get a lot done, then it makes it good for the rest of the week.  I get to do extra stuff if I get a good start to the week.  The extra stuff I like the most.

I did not ride my bike at all on my vacation.  I miss my bike rides to work.  It really does rock.  Just a little something I do day in day out, and when you look at the end of the season I am over 1000 miles on this little bike that I bought several years ago for $50.  Of course it is a bike, so I typically have to put in about $50 of maintenance every year.  I only had one flat tire on that sucker too.  Remember my road bike used to get a flat tire every time I rode it??  Ha Ha!!  I doubt I use the road bike anymore this year, unless it actually makes it downstairs on the trainer.  We shall see.  I ride my bike to work and back all the way up until the snow flies.  Some mornings I am not in the mood to be cold, so I may take a day off here and there.

As I look at the rest of the year my weekend run really wasn't that important.  I wasn't going at 13.1 race speed, I tried finding my 26.2 speed.  If I am to p.r. a 13.1, I think I may need to race for 13.1.  The marathon I am doing doesn't have any hills, so the wind on this 13.1 was there to make me strong.  The Kent City 15K had hills and wind to make me strong.  My 25K had hills on the 2nd half.  I don't particularly need hills for my important fall race.  That is how my eyes work.  That is how yours will.  :)

That is faith.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. I almost forgot, I did a little recovery run of 3.13 miles @ 8:55!!  :)   Now for real cya!!!  :)

It really annoys me when I see me use the wrong then or than, and other words like that.  I rarely correct them though.  :) 

Sunday, September 26, 2010

About Ready To Throw This Piece Of Junk In The Garbage!! :)

Another day another day not as good as planned.  Yesterday was still long run Saturday, so I got in around 2.75 miles in before the race... or as I call it run, with a bigger group.  I surely was not racing anyone, except maybe myself a bit, and really I think for me the wind had the last laugh.  On this day I was not disciplined, I constantly felt like I was breathing a bit too hard for what I was really trying to accomplish.  Even at mile 1, I kept putting the brakes on, as a matter of fact I kept putting the brakes on all day.  I'd find myself perhaps breathing just a bit harder than I wanted. Trying to pr puts some pressure on you.  Last year when doing this race, I knew I was going to pr, because I had no fast halfs.

The Mile markers were all jacked.  I hit the first one at 7:20, and thought, umm, that I am pretty sure is not my pace.  Then my times at the markers started looking good.  I was sub 8:00's through 4 I think, and then somehow I hit a 9:00 or something at mile 5??  Umm no, they were just jacked, so I had no idea what I was doing.  I hit mile 6 at 49:00, which is 8:10's, and I think I picked it up a bit there.  I felt pretty good, and I thought I have a 10K pr.  I never broke 50 before.  I was feeling pretty good about myself, until about 6.5 miles when I realized a 10k = 6.2, not 6.1!!  :)  So I was close to a 10K pr.  :)  So now you know to be safe, you don't want me to do brain surgery on you while I am running.  I don't care if I stayed at a Holiday Inn or not.  Find a real doctor, not just one who doesn't play one on tv.  :)

I really learned nothing on this day about my marathon pace.  I know it isn't 7:20's, and to be smart I should do the half in maybe what I ended up today in, and that is 8:18's.  Even though I tried to kick a bit starting at mile 9, that kick was 2 miles against a very stiff breeze, so it definitely wasn't a still air kick.  Not that I was that strong either, because people were passing me, and I thought my legs were moving pretty good.  The wind seemed to be the worst as you were running to the North, but I think it had a detrimental effect as you were running West too.  So we will say from mile 6 to mile 8 was a challenge.  Once you hit mile 9 you had at least 2 miles against the stiff wind.  To me it just seemed like the wind was just little body blows trying to make you not strong.  I remember that windy Kent City 15K, that was nothing but a hill and wind fest.  Jim kicked our asses on that one.  I let Jerry go, and caught up to him at the last mile.  I looked up the time there, and I was probably 1-1/2 minutes slower on this day at the 15K mark than I was at the finish line of that race.  That had more hills, and probably just as much wind.  I was done though, here I still had a little under 4 miles left.

Oh well, I didn't learn too much on this run.  I need to go slower for my full.  KEEP THE BRAKES ON!!  I am usually good at that, but now I realize I am racing myself, so harder to be disciplined.  Last year I didn't really have to race myself, because I was kicking that person's ass easily.  Now it is a bit harder.  Am I slower than this past Spring??  maybe a little.

Still some good stuff.  One is this time last year I was breaking down.  My shins were not in a good spot.  I feel fresh right now, so I can still train a bit.  Maybe add a day or two.  I am not sore at all after yesterday's run, so that is good. That really is the most important thing to me right now.  I still have time to add some fitness, and next week I definitely plan on getting another 20 miler in.

So here, I guess I didn't learn much.  I know a bit more today than yesterday.  I have time to pick up some more fitness, and realize my own desire to pick up pr's will make me less patient, and more concerned about my mile splits.  I'll need to throw that out.  Get to 13.1 comfortably, and from there chop off miles until 17-18, and go from there.  I can lose a lot from 20 on, but if I can make gains than that would be sooo huge.

This shit is hard!!  A lot of thought goes into running.  SHEESH!!  Oh yeah, one other thing, and this is big, trust me I know.  The main goal is to get to the marathon healthy.  Mission accomplished!!  I have been on the other side of that one before too, and luckily I passed that hurdle.  So on we go.  Still work to do, and stuff.

Couple notes, little Cathy won the dang thing.  PR'd, and broke 1:30.  YIKES!!  Not  bad for 42 years old.  Our AGM at our store Omar asked me about a week ago, if he should run a half.  He said if I can run 8 miles should I sign up for the half??  I said yeah.  He has done one other race, and that was the Riverbank 5K this year.   He did it.  I thought he'd run 10 minute miles, and he ran like 1:57.  Sub 9's for 13.1.  That to me was a complete shocker.  I am thoroughly impressed with that.  Can I run 8 miles non-stop one week, to a sub: 2 hour half??  Not too shabby.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s.  I turned the engine off between mile 11-11-1/2.  The pr was not going to happen, and I still have more important races this year.  So my time definitely could have been quicker, but don't really care about that.  At that point no pr, than it is all training run from there on out.  :)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Found Out Why This Week Was Weird

Someone lost their way.  Instead of using the mirror they perched themselves up high in the judgment chair.  Trust me, you don't want to go in that direction.  You will be found, and you will be shown the mirror.  As this person can attest to, it is easier doing it yourself, because I can be... as Gina said... brutally honest. 

Everything for these people can be back to normal, but it has to be in the open.  Let me know when you are ready.  So some changes have been made, but only for a little while.  I am sure they will be back.  Open means nothing behind back channels.  There is one who likes to sneak in the grass like a snake, and that is not me.  Open is open for all to see. 

So I am back to normal.  YAY!!  I guess I will tell you how I feel about this run/race today.  It is cool temps, which is nice, but sounds like it is still windy.  My ultimate best I think I can do is 1:42.  Let me tell you why.  9 miles of 8:00 is 72 minutes.  4 miles at 7:30 is 30.  That equals 1:42.  That is also pretending that the ".1" isn't even there.  I looked up my 25K, and it was 8:05'ish.  I assume that is my marathon pace then.  We shall see.  It might be closer to 8:12s.  One thing you need to know about the first 9 miles is there is no hard miles.  Everything is easy easy easy.  I am disciplined enough to do that.  Those who pass me will be passed on the final 4 miles anyway.  Unless of course they run like 6-something or 7-something the whole way, but I should never see them anyway. 

So to you 3, yes 3.  you have to let me know when you are ready.  Also, when you lose your way, I have to go to bad areas to get you.  I go to areas where the internal persecutions are high.  It makes me suffer.  I am willing to suffer God knows, but really??  Do I need to suffer more than I am already willing to do?  You make it hard on you, and you make it hard on me.  I cannot read minds, but there is one who can, and as in this case, he had a way of showing me. 

So that is that!!

I'd rather do the nice stuff than the brutally honest stuff... trust me.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)   yes I stole that from somewhere.  She is highly esteemed in my eyes!!

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. Jacob of DeBoer Bros. stopped by for a bit last night.  Luckily we didn't see the man who lost his wife of 60 or whatever years.  You know what that means???  pr Saturday!!  Woo Hoo!!!  I'll let you know.  :)

now for real cya!!!   :)


Friday, September 24, 2010

Something About Me

Here is a little something about me which makes Lisa think I am nuts, and maybe others.  It is Friday, and I will be ready for vacation to be over.  I like having to get up, and having to go to work.  Don't get me wrong, I like having time off, and I think this week was good for me.  I got some good workouts in, and maybe I needed some time away.  I'll be ready to go back to work though.  I always am.  Even when we would go to Hawaii, I'd be ready to be back home.  The first time we went Lisa cried on the airplane back.  Maybe cause it is paradise to her, and missing Brian.  Brian and Lisa are the normal ones of the bunch from that 5.  Ha Ha!! 

I am only blogging today, because I usually do blog, and I don't want people to worry if I don't blog, and maybe don't update Twitter 48,000 times, and don't check FB too often.  I may not.  :)  Yesterday I watched movies, and I guess I'll tell you about them.

First off these movies were VHS.  "Something About Mary" was the first one, and man did I laugh a lot at that.  I forgot how funny that was.  Lisa doesn't get that humor too much.  Weirdo!!  :)  The second one was "Goodfellas" which is always awesome, especially if you are a guy.  I do have Steel Magnolias though too.  :)  I didn't watch it though.  Then I watched "The Matrix"  That really is a good movie.  More to that movie than I remembered.  Not just the action, but the thought of our lives in relation to the world seemed pretty interesting, in a philosophical way to me. I then watched half of "Forest Gump" 

That really is about it for today, don't have much going on.  Another rest day for me, and Saturday is my 13.1.  I think my 9 mile mark will be between 72 and 75 minutes.  8:05-8:20.  That is assuming there isn't 946,000 mph winds like there is right now.  We'll see.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

What Would You Do If I Showed You My Dark Side??

That was my post yesterday.  When I show my not so fabulous side, I tend to have a quiet existence on line.  It is scary to me, and I think everyone thinks me a jerk.  Add in all the self doubts, internal persecutions I get every day, and it is hard for me.  I have help letting my stuff out, and it makes it easy, but the after effects aren't.  So I seem like I brim with confidence when I let my stuff out, but pretty much feel like shit the rest of the day.  :)  That is an FYI.

The books suck, so I am returning them, maybe watch movies today??  perhaps.  We will see.

Yesterday at the track we did 4-12:00s.  That is definitely the hardest track workout we do.  We get 2 minutes rest in between.  Last night I would say it was probably 15 degrees or so hotter than it will be when I run 13.1 on Saturday.  That made it a bit tougher perhaps, but to be honest that is 15 or so degrees lower than what we have been running in.

My Mile splits were 7:21, 7:27.7:28, 7:30.  Some notes, that sucker was hard.  On the first one Amanda and shoot forgot the other girls name took off after the mile and finished a good deal ahead of me.  I knew we were doing 4.  As it would happen we all stayed together for all 4 pretty much.  Jerry too.  Those 12's are so dang hard.  I don't remember the 2nd one as being anything going on except it was hard.  The 3rd one we let Jerry pull the train, and on the 5th and 6th laps we let the train go.  I thought, well maybe Jerry is just doing 3, and kicking in the final one.  BTW Jerry isn't training for anything, but to just run me in at mile 20 for the marathon.  He may be too fast there.  :)  He is one of those tough runners.  Holy cow.

Here is how I run.  On the 4th one we started out a bit slow, but man 2 minutes is nothing after you finish your 3rd, and I held on to the Jerry train for a long time on the 3rd, and thought how am I going to get the 4th?  So anyway Amanda takes off, I let her go, if she is that strong you go.  Jerry stopped after the 3rd lap, but realize this is Jerry's busy season (plumber) he is only getting 1-2 runs in each week.  Like I said he is a tough one.  So I find my pace, and then it happens.  A little help from above I think, because you know I am going to blog about it.  I find a pace.  My breathing is normal, and I find my form.  Amanda who was probably 100M ahead of me at one time is 1-2 seconds ahead of me at the mile.  I figure I'd use her to pace for a bit.  I catch her at the turn, and I am going too fast, so just pass.  My final 2 laps after the mile were my fastest of any of the 12:00's, and I went just as far or farther past the 6th lap as I did on my first.  So there, I feel I am strong, we shall see if I am fast ... for me... This Saturday.

It was a good effort for me.  Alan gave me a fist shake after the 4th, and Amanda said good job.  BTW Amanda ran 8:15s on Saturday for her 20 miler.  I knew she was flying.  A little IT band issue now, hope it fixes itself.  She is a pretty darn tough runner, and she is going for like 3:50 in the marathon.  It is her qualifying time.  She is so going to beat that.

So I guess I would put that down as a good track workout.  Feel good about finishing up my 4th 12:00 strong.  I think I am never going to work again.  Makes for better running.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone Has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. I am such a bad blogger, I meant yesterday Lisa's ex-husband and the reason for the divorce.  It wasn't a choice between him and her mom.  Lisa just didn't feel like sharing her husband with the girl he got pregnant.  Hailey never knew that.  I am still having problems dealing with the "I hate your fucking guts" blow up too.  I don't particularly talk to people too much when they say that with no apologies.  I told her and her boyfriend don't be lazy, and when they were here they were lazy, and still are.  I don't deal with that very good.  Enough of that shit around here, and I know where it ends.  Like on my 4th 12:00 I let them go.  I didn't know if I would catch Amanda, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  So Hailey is on her own.  It doesn't matter if she talks to me or not, hell she doesn't even talk to her real Dad.  I don't really have much to say to Jackie, Kevin, or Hailey to be honest.  I am honest with myself, and don't feel like it.  Kevin I can talk with the most, because at least he works, and for all his faults, he knows he has to work.  The others live in some fantasy land of doing nothing.  For the record Jackie's body has shut down.  She is toast.  Even if she wanted to do something, which she doesn't, never has, she couldn't.

Long PS.  cya for real now.  :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Later Than Normal

Can You tell??  I can.  I wasn't even going to blog today.  I woke up early, but really didn't feel like blogging.  A lot happened yesterday, and most of it past 8:00 pm.  Lisa went out to meet up with some friends, as a type of girls night out.  She came back, I was in bed already, I guess she was going to go out to pick up Hailey as she had a piece of chicken stuck in her throat.  Hailey being the scaredy cat of everything didn't want to go to the Hospital.  They eventually went.  BTW I had no idea what was going on.  Lisa didn't get back til 8:30 am.  Bad storms etc... phones don't work in the hospital??  Can't get service??  Stupid!!  Eventually they had to call in endo people to get it out.  She has scarring from acid re-flux, and an esophagus that narrows, and 3 little ulcers.  They had to put her under and everything, and got the two inch piece of chicken out. 

The long and short of it is she is a bit scared???  possibly, says Lisa.  She is obese, and the Doctor said lose some weight, and chew your food.  She lives an unhealthy life outwardly... what she eats etc... exercise and stuff, and perhaps more importantly inwardly.  She keeps everything inside.  She thought up until like maybe a year ago that Lisa had to choose between Her Mom and her husband.  Umm no!!  She talks to no one about deep stuff, the stuff that really matters.  Like Anne Frank this stuff is easier to do on paper than with words.  There are other mediums  Van Gogh used painting, and Mozart used music.  BTW I am reading books on both of these guys now.  :)  Can't keep the stuff buried, because it is unhealthy.  That is what my Journey was about, although I thought I did that pre-hospital, I did all, but a little bit as you may recall.  It was a weird night for sure.  I came upstairs about 2:00 am, and Hailey's back pack was here, and the little bastard dog was wreaking havoc.  Little fucker!!!  :)  I guess Lisa went to get her, they came back here, and then they eventually went to the hospital.  So on a day where Jackie has finally completely lost all sense of reality.  She is fucked in the head.  :)  Lisa and Kevin both say so, she even had the nerve to talk to me yesterday.... Um call Brian or something.... FUCK!!!  :)  Hailey realizes her life is a short one at this rate.  She is learning some of life's hard lessons. 

I am pretty sure you are being asked to do something.... right?  I don't know to be honest.  I have no understanding and there is very little input.  I can't read minds, but I think about things all the time.  I sometimes think the best of myself, and sometimes the worst.  I wonder what people hold in.  Holding it in is hiding it from God, bringing it out is bringing it to light.  You are the light of the world if you open up for all to see, the good and the bad.  Easy???  Hell no.  It has a bit of inertia though, as once you get started it just goes.  You know when I first started "The Journey" after Lisa, and her whole side of the family thought I was nuts I was scared to show anyone my shit again.  I showed them heimleblog, but I came out again in "The Journey" I had some help, some people who helped me with confidence.  Lorraine and Beth helped me a lot... others too.  It was pretty scary for me to do after I just went through a tough time. 

If you are less than honest we go backwards.  If you are honest we go forwards.  If you keep buried we go nowhere.  It is as easy as that, although it isn't easy.  Trust... I have done it and came out fine.  You are going to do it anyway, because it is your job.  The sooner you do it the less rainy days.  Trust, because it may seem you are in a tight spot, but the one holding the reins knows what he is doing.  I have been through it like I said, I knew no one on Earth who has been through it, and I was on my own, not knowing what I was doing at all.  I lived in fear every day.  Every day.  Terrified.  I figured as long as I am alive, I might as well keep going. 

I don't know if that helps.  I hope so.  :)

Recovery run yesterday 3.13 @ 8:58.  I was going to do the 4.25 mile route, but it was freaking hot.  At a temp. thing on a sign it said 87 in the sunlight.  Yuck!!  :)  Love running in that stuff.  Supposed to be 50 for my 13.1 though, so that will be good. 

Track Tonight!!  :)  I am relaxing and reading my Mozart book. 

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love lives in the light!!!  :)

p.s. yeah Hailey's little douschebag boyfriend is here with her, but they are outta here tonight!!  :)

Why???  because I am a dick!!!  :)

now for real cya!!!  :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

For Once I Did More???

Yep, I actually did.  My legs I don't think really recovered from that 16 mile Saturday run/race.  The race had hills, steps, sand, hills etc... and pavement, and I needed new shoes.  So needless to say I really had sluggish legs last week.  I woke up Monday morning early, and the legs didn't feel good again.  It was one of those mornings where I was up at 3 or 4 even though I had the day off.  Yes I do this on my own for some reason.  I am up at 3:something again.  :)  I almost don't feel like blogging either, can you imagine?  What is going on with me?  I must really be in vacation mode.

So after some coffee and reading I decide to go for my run.  BTW I am reading Anne Frank again. Didn't finish it last time if you remember.  She was such a remarkable young girl.  My plan is to do my 8 mile loop.  When I hit my 8 mile turn around, I was like screw it might as well do 9.  As I am at mile 7 I realize, crap my legs are doing pretty good now.  In my mind I remember a little route I have.  It is a 1.25 mile route, which actually is 1.27, but I just put 1.25.  I think to myself I have not done that repeat in a few years.  I used to do one as a warm up and 4 @ 2 minute rest.  I decide since my legs are good to do a couple of those.  This isn't an easy repeat, as a matter of fact this route has most of the steep hill we use at the start of Fall marathon training.  When I turn off the hill, I still have to climb.  I expect it is around 200 M climb in this route.  Pretty steep too.  After the climb there is some downhill, which helps the recovery, and at the end just a bit of an incline.  I think the 200M climb may take 5-10 seconds off the pace maybe??? who knows??

Anyway the first one I went out too fast... forgot how hard that hill section was.  I did the route in 9:18.  SHEESH  usually did that route in low 10:00's, but like I said that was a few years ago.  The second one I went out more conservatively, and planned on finishing strong.  The plan went fine.  It hurt, and it was freaking hard.  My time on the 2nd one was 9:17.

If nothing I am happy to say on a planned 8 mile day, I went over 9 miles, and added two hard 1.25 mile repeats.  More than planned and good legs.  Being off this concrete is nice!!!  :)  Most of the time my longish Monday runs are after work.

Still some concerns, the 9 miler was 9:03 pace, I would have liked it to be like 8:40.  Am I slower than this spring???  or is it just running with people makes us faster.  I don't push on my long runs, but can still get a gauge for how fast I am by how fast/slow those runs are.  The repeats were 7:25ish.  Is it the hill?  I'd like that to be lower in the 7:00s, or is it just the 9 mile warm up, or both.  Not sure, I still have plenty to worry about.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Just The Run-- Ha!! Prolly Not!!

First it was my long run Saturday, and I did not go as long as I would have liked.  I got some miles in before the miles, and it was a good thing.  So was me not going as long as I would have liked.  I showed up at the H.S. with 5.6 miles in.  I was calculating how far to go down 66th st.  I wanted over 20.  I didn't know if I should go short down 66th, and back to the H.S. and back home, or long down 66th st.  and just run back to my house.  That was going to be a game time decision.  One note on the run is Amanda my kinda running partner last year flew by me at the beginning.  I mean zipped.  We are typically close to the same speed, and she was doing 20.  I think she was going too fast maybe, I'll ask her Wednesday how it ended up.  Might have been a tough one for her.  We were really supposed to negative split this run. 

I am a bit over 11 miles at 66th st.  The mile leading up to 66th there was lightning, and it started raining a bit.  I don't mind running in anything, but lightning??  ummm not so much.  Now here is where it gets interesting.  I am going to still go,  I turn on 66th st. and Boom the lightning is at its worst.  It starts really pouring.  I don't see Alan up ahead, but it was dark.  Two people run past me going the opposite direction.  More rain, more lightning and thunder... hmm... I wanna be tough, but you know I want to be smart too.  I turn around.  I start heading home.  I know I am going to blog about it, and know it will seem not so tough, and yada yada yada, but I did it.  I ran all the way home, and walked the last 1/2 block.  It rained the whole time, and still rained while I was home.  I ended up going 14.85 miles @ 8:53 I think.  So I wasn't going all that slow for a long training run.  That made me think Amanda was going too fast.... perhaps.  If I was 9:15 or something than that is one thing.

My legs were not that great.  Quads still a bit fatigued.  As Alan said I am not worried about your fitness, but want to make sure you stay healthy for the races.  So the turn around was a little blessing in disguise.  I have a 21 miler with the last 3 being tempo, so I just need to get the legs like new, so they are still bouncing past mile 20.  I'll get there.  No doubts.

It was just the run, that is pretty much all I had. I did want to mention one thing, my book is starting to get a bit dry.  The guy is a mountain worshiper, and you know sometimes the mountains just aren't going to do it.  There is more to us than just what we see.  You know you'll have spells where your just not feeling all that great, and the mountains don't look so hot.  It helps to view nature, but there is definitely more to life.  Just my thoughts... please don't read more into it.  :)

Also I lately have been happy just to hang out with my wife.  Our house is pretty empty so that is nice.  Kevin works on the weekend, and Jackie just stays in her room most of the time.  Lisa said I watched two movies  while you slept and painted the hutch.  I was like I ran 15 miles.  :)   Just threw that out there for whatever reason.  I thought it weird Lisa said that.  Oh well.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Marshmallow Pancakes...

the best form of transportation or the tastiest, or E.  all of the above??   :)

It is Saturday, and I have my longest training run I will do for the year.  It will be a 20+ miler.  I am not really sure how long, we'll just see.  I am not sure if I will run miles before the miles.  I think I will, because I don't want to have to run to Tallahasee and back.  I might get hungry.  :)  As my training year draws to a close... I start getting a bit emotional.  Really??  My training year is coming to a close.  WOW!!  You know me though A.B.I.T.  I am always in training, but my Marathon is always the big one, and it is coming up.

My goals this year, were 5K, 8K,10K 13.1, 25K, and 26.2 p.r.'s.  I have the 8K and 25K p.r.  My 13.1 is next week, and 3 weeks after will be the 26.2.  I am thinking Thanksgiving will be the 5K I will shoot for.  I haven't really looked for a 10K, but I could p.r. that as I am faster than my 10K p.r.

13.1 and 26.2 I think I can do.  I have no idea what my goal pace for my marathon is.  The summer has been so hot, and I have no gauge to cool running, which is a heck-uv-a lot faster than hot running.  My marathon pace is me listening to my breath.  Nothing hard.  I will know what my marathon pace is next weekend when I see what my time at mile 9 or 10 is.  It was hard for me to wait until mile 10 last year.  I took off about mile 9.75.  :)

What a year though.  Running in the hills this winter with Jim and Jerry.  Jim kicking our butts left and right.  Jerry ready to qualify, and he would have had it if it wasn't like 85 degrees or whatever.  Running downtown Holland on the snow melt sidewalks, going way too fast.  Ha Ha!!  I forgot about that 18 pounder.  What the heck happened to her?  I forgot her name too.

I will end up with distance p.r. totals for biking and running.  I don't know the total yet, well over 2000 miles biking, and approach 1500 total running maybe??  We'll see.  I still build year over year.  I am still improving, but you know after this year the improving will slow down quite a bit.  Can't keep getting 9 minute p.r.'s on 25K's.  The huge leaps won't be so huge anymore.  I am cool with that though.

I am pretty excited though, because after today everything gets pretty easy, until a few days after my marathon.  Then I train for that dang 5K.  That sucker has been a real sucker.  What do I have like 3-4 low 22:00 minute 5K's, but none under??

Oh well, just thinking out loud so to speak.  :)

Not really much else going on.  I am on vacation now, so that is cool.  I think it is really good too, because I get to rest my legs from the concrete.  My guess is it will be perfect to get my legs all ready to go.  I don't really have anything planned.  I am just going to read, watch movies, and listen to music.  Maybe cook some meals.  Nothing major.  Just relax outside of training.  I still have another week to take too, and I think I'll take it after my marathon.  So in 4 weeks I will have another vacation.  :)  Woo Hoo!!

I am excited, and happy.  I think the running life is great.  I know triathletes life is great too, it is all so fun.  We train 1000s of miles to do well for a fraction of that distance on race day.  It is great.  I love it.

Oh well, I guess that is about it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

p.s.  I am just writing this, so I can write the following.

Now for real cya!!!  :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Bloggers

I woke up early this morning, and decided to write about the bloggers I follow.  On my right hand side is the White Sox blog, but I don't have it in my reader anymore, because well, no need.  :)

For those who have read this, the journey, and/or even heimleblog you know the story, but there are different readers here, and I think it is interesting.  Each has a story.  Going to open up a new tab, so I remember who is on the right side.  It isn't all inclusive, because my list has been known to change.  Sometimes if the wind changes directions so do I.  Hey I isn't perfect.  I have insecurities plentiful.  Every day I feel not so awesome at times.

Just going by the list, it is currently on who posted the most recent.

Oscar Shutt.  He is the husband of Beth, and the first time I read his blog his Dad was giving up a kidney to a good friend from Church that day.  coincidence?? not to me.  I told Lisa, and we told some people from work, and I kept going back to see how it went.  Everything went great.  He is a baseball fan, big time.  I almost sent him a book "The Hidden Game of Baseball" which is the Granddad of all Sabermatrician books.  It is out of print, but I have a copy.  I never did,  good thing, he is too busy anyway.  :)  He is really fast, and this year he P.R.'d on a 5K.  I think he hit 17:00.  It was like a 1:00 pr.  I have been trying to knock off seconds off my 5K pr and he knocked off a minute.  Good winter training.  :)

Beth Shutt, I figured I started reading Feb. or March of 2009.  Maybe January.  What can I say, my improvements that the local people see in me all steer from her blog and a few others really.  That Sunday led me on a different path.  One where I work a bit harder.  Although it really isn't work if it is fun right?  I could go on about her, but she knows me well enough,  and she needs no props from me, because all know I think the world of her.  She is going to Kona this year to kick some butt.  :)  Madison next year.  with Barb.  Barb I will get to later.  :)

I'll do the sisters.  I think the sisters parents think it a bit odd a 44 year old reads 20 year old blogs, but it wasn't my intention.  My problem is I say I love you a lot.  :)  People don't get that.  My story with them is Gina pointed me to ... can't even remember the name.  The one who dislikes me more than the other.  :)  I read her first couple entries, and I was like hmmm.  Not really sure if it is my thing.  I followed it anyway, and I steered her toward Jen Gray, because I thought Jen Gray would be good for her to read.  I don't know if she did or not, but she really became a good blogger.  Her sister is too.  Her sister is a little more outgoing it seems.  She is funny, in a I dont know, you know how some people are funny, and they probably don't know it.  She works hard and is very good it seems at what she does, but also has things about herself that just drive her crazy.  :)  I don't know, cracks me up though.  I won't use their name, because they might not want me to, and they think I am a crazy 44 year old anyway.

The other is Maija's boyfriend.  I forget his name.  :)  Sweat Suffering Sacrifice dude.  He is a cyclist doing the semi-pro circuit.  It is a hard discipline.  Anyone who knows about cycling knows hours and hours and hours go into it.  Take a marathon training and multiply by 3, and that is probably the time that goes into the training.  YIKES!!  He has a really interesting outlook.  Always an interesting perspective.

Maija, I started following from Beth's blog.  She would post a lot before me, and I thought her name was cool.  Her blog is great, as she really is pretty honest in the thing.  She is really talented, but has to suffer through migraines a lot.  I think the first post I read she was talking about medications for her headaches and stuff.  I was hooked, because she just brought everything in the open.  I commented on her site, and felt like a fool at first, like I always do.  :)  I sometimes think people might think me a creeper, but really I love reading blogs, and reading about people and their lives.  :)

Hard Work Barb!!  :)

Wanna know what I found from Barb's blog??  My first comment ever.  Here it is.

Just wanted to drop you a line. I don't remember how I found your blog, but I was surfing on Sunday, and ran across it, and several other ones pertaining to running.
I wanted to let you know I enjoy reading your blog. Your blog and a few others have inspired me to work a little harder, so that is good. It is also bad, because I have a marathon a week from Saturday. I should be tapering. I am just working harder on the bike and swim, and keeping the running miles down.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know I enjoy reading your blog, and you helped inspire me more.

So Barb is that goofy girl out in Colorado.  She is talented like all those other tri people I read.  Her and Beth are a lot alike.  If they could train for 24/7 they would.  Crazy girls.  She is going to be doing Ironman Madison.  That is good and bad.  Good, cause she is a natural IM'er.  Bad is she'll probably start blogging less now.  :)  Probably once every two weeks, and probably to the restaurant blog too.  Ha Ha!!  :)

Sugarleg is Leigh's friend.  Leigh gave me the link, and it is a good blog.  She is a lot like Maija, just throws her stuff out there.  I love that.  I see an honest blog, and I am all over it.  :)

Jen Gray, aww geez.  Do I even need to say anything about her.  She keeps me grounded.  When I want to tackle the world her blog just makes me smell the roses.  I met her at Steve R.'s thing, and she told me about her blog.  I went way back, and think I read most of it.  Maybe not all, but it is great.  She is great, and her blog is amazing, and she inspires a ton.  Remember I once said Enya is a gift from heaven, I think Jen Gray is too.  I could go on about her, but she knows how I feel about her.  :)

Leigh's blog.  I didn't know Leigh at all, but we kept posting on Tia's FB thing, and we naturally just became FB friends.  She is the wife of my H.S.-post H.S. friend Chris.  Chris and I had some crazy times, and Leigh and I hit it off.  She posted once about it not being easier the 2nd time around.  I wasn't sure what that meant, but knew she had a blog.  It is a sad story, but she is a strong lady, and another one of those honest blogs.  Poor girl.  She has a daughter Liliana who is a blessing though, so through all the bad, there always is good, and I think she sees that.

The last one is Amanda, Hailey's friend.  Does she even blog??   Ha Ha!!  She is my favorite friend of Hailey's, I also like Hailey's friend Kristy who sometimes stays here.  She does the dishes.  :)

So anyway, those are on my right hand side now.  I had a few more, but they didn't survive my outburst last week.  One of those things, where I don't always feel comfortable.  I don't always feel confident.  I am going to put Jen Harrison up again though. Oh geez, Jessica from my someday tri journal is off too.  SHEESH, I really went overboard.  I'll have to find her.

Wanna know something about me.  When I blew up a week ago, Gina kept saying stop it stop it.  People Love you.  I don't always feel that.  Sometimes I feel good, but sometimes I don't.  You should know that about me.  Other people I have read, I just feel they probably think me a goof.  These people I feel comfortable with now.  I will add Jen and Jessica again,  they may not read me, but I feel comfortable with them.

I hope this was fun to read.  I enjoyed writing it.

That is it for today!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

p.s. Becky of running blogs used to blog too, but she does not anymore.  I would read her again too.  I read her every day until she quit blogging. 

Now for real cya!!!  :)

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Of A Bad Workout!!

It was track night, and I didn't have a good workout.  We did my favorite workout too.  Repeat Miles,  tempo/marathon  tempo/marathon  tempo/marathon.

First one was o.k.  7:15-8:12  2nd one was 7:21-8:30  3rd one was 7:50-stop.

Reason??? quads.  Just absolutely toast.  Couldnt't get any push off my quads. 

Is this bad??  Nope, good, it is good??  Why??  Because I must need a little rest, and the 20 + miler will be good, I am pretty sure.  Also, I wasn't really planning on tapering at all.  I figured why??  I have been running all year.  Now I will taper a bit.  My legs have been coming back all year.  No problems at all.  What is the point here?  all year.  I had 2 days off after my last marathon, and have been in training ever since.  So for the race you train for all year, you might want to tone it down a bit.  What does this mean?  It means my down time is before the marathon.  I run my marathon and 2 days off and I'll be back in training.  I had no idea my legs might be getting tired.  Didn't seem possible.  I guess they are a bit.  That is natural I guess.  That is my thought anyway.

On another positive note, my 7:15-7:21 seemed really pretty easy.  10K pace, so I think that 5K is toast!!  :)

I rested and read my book yesterday.  It is pretty good.  It seems this guy had all the answers.  The perfect life.  Living in the mountains during the tourist season, and with his wife once the season was over.  He always knew the mountains called him.  His life's path was all but assured.  Middle age hits, and one extra-marrital affair later, and a mid-life crisis, and the question that haunted him?  Was this life worth it?   I still don't know how this ends, but the search is on.  The guy came into season depressed.  His friends are worried. 

Starts off everything is great, he is living in the mountains, what else could a person want.  He lived a bit like Thoreau in Walden.  Just the elements and him.  Not sure where it leads after this, so we will see.  It is always good to have people to share stuff with.  I think that is important.  Life isn't easy, we all want the care-free life, but no real such thing.  We all want to make sense of it all, but ...hmmm.  Oh well .... Kinda tired, and not sure where I am going with it, so I'll leave it at that.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone Has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. want to know what I thought of yesterday??  I am 44 years old, and I am still running marathons.  I have room to improve.  I am not at my best yet.  How great is running??  We can do this forever.  :)  That is pretty great to me.  I will be 50 soon, and can still be doing the same things I am doing now.  Doubt I mature any either.  Running keeps me young??  Ha Ha Ha!!  Who knows, but I love it.   :)

now for real cya!!!  :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Nothing Much

To write perhaps.  We'll see.  I made a decision at work, late in my shift not to run.  As you may or may not know I walk on concrete at work.  I think when I measured with one of those step counters it came to 4-6 miles each day.  I once thought it was such a bad thing for me, but as time went on I looked at it as something that made me stronger.  It definitely cuts on my miles I can run.  My legs were tired, and I have two important workouts.  I have a track workout today, and a 20 + miler on Saturday.  A 4 or 6 miler wasn't going to make or break me, and I for sure didn't want it to break me.  So a day of rest if you will.

I remember this time last year when I was swimming 3-4 times each week.  I was going to do an iron man remember.  Not in my cards.  Am I sad about it?? no.  Was I?? no.  Take what life gives you.  Like I said before, others probably have been through more. 

I do want to say something when I link to another posting.  Another person's blog.  It isn't a slight at all, it is just an amazing post that struck me, and I'd like to share.  I hope everyone takes it that way, because that is all that is intended.  Life is always a double edged sword huh?  Some people take things one way, when really the other way was meant.  It seems that way sometimes. 

I liked yesterday's post, although I wonder how it was taken?  No biggie.  I am interested in all kinds of things.  Not a 1 hit wonder.  Not really singularly focused on just one thing.  Just viewing each day as it comes by.  Sometimes I am bored with work.  I still try and do a decent job.  Typically whatever I am working on I don't half ass it.  At work I should say.  I hate doing shit around the house.  :)  That definitely gets the half ass treatment.  :)

I am reading a book now about a Ranger who worked in the High Sierras.  He rescued a lot of people.  He was really good at his job, and one day he went missing.  Not sure where it leads, but seems like a good book.  They willingly just lived solo in the wilderness.  YIKES!!  why??  What goes through their head??  What makes a person want to live and climb in the mountains??  I guess I see the allure of the Himalayas... kinda.  To be one of the few to climb Everest I guess is neat to some, or even one of the fewer to make it to the top of K2.  You know the risks though.  Freezing to death is the risk.  K2 more so than Everest. 

Oh well, Lisa is back to work today.  She got a bunch of stuff done around the house.  I had fun yesterday.  I love listening and dancing to music.  fun fun.

I am free to do as I wish.  I am willing to do all that is asked of me.  I really have just one more thing to do.  I was willing to do it a long time ago.  I never doubted I would do it.  Never, not in those 17 + years did I not believe  the promise.  So I wait.  I wait for you, and whoever else comes with.  :)

I don't know how this turns out for you to be honest, I don't know how your journey goes.  Nothing else going on though huh? 

K!!  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. barring a miracle the Sox are out of it.  They had their run I predicted, but the Twins were too good.  Oh well.  They gave it their best shot.  :)  Made for a fun summer.  :)

now for real cya!!!  :)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nancy O'Toole Is Back!! WOW!!

Please read.  :)    link!!  She never left, but maybe I did.  This is Great!!! 

Where Do We Go From Here?

One of the best things about being me is if I have nothing to write about, I can just write about my thoughts.  Things I am thankful for, and how my life is. 

My long term goals in life = none.  I have nothing I really want to accomplish.  I don't want to be President, although I toyed with advanced degrees in Law and Economics to do that one time, but other plans were made.  If the highest attainment of wisdom is to eat drink and be merry for that is your lot in life, than maybe I am there.  Am I wise??  Good question what is wisdom anyway??  I know there is knowledge,  wisdom, and understanding.  Understanding was always the goal.  Like I put in my notebook many many many years ago, it is hard to see how great Job was unless you walked in his shoes.  I understand a bit about Job, and know his toughest ordeal.  I will not go into it, because it doesn't matter.  I try to have my heart open for all to see.  Why??  God sees it anyway.  We try to hide from him, when he knows it all.  All our good and our bad.  We try to hide the bad, because we think it is too bad for him.  Guess what?? It isn't.  I think some steps are hard.

My Summer of Discontent was a summer in search of understanding.  It is the only thing I cared about.  I didn't know how to get there.  I walked and walked and walked, but was told that meant nothing.  It was still something to do I guess, as I was up early anyway.  It was a lone personal journey.  One I made mostly out of fear.  I knew of all the people I was the farthest away from heaven than anyone.  I was a scribe pharisee and hypocrite.  I was judged, so I searched.  I knew I did right, but every day felt I was bad.  I always believed the bad in me.  Faith hopes all things endures all things and believes all things.  How you going to seem sane if you believe all things, and there is one who constantly lies??  So I needed help.  I had help that summer, I had help at the end of the journey, and I have help now.  This one is a bit easier.

Wanna know something of the dog in the mole story out back a week or so ago.  I cannot help think that was me.  A mole was trying to ruin what we were doing.  My anger killed the mole.  So yeah, I believe all things, and now we are back on track.  I have a good set of eyes, but still miss stuff. 

I didn't tell you about my dream did I??  One was of taking a nail to each hand and both feet.  I was afraid.  I also had a dream someone was outside our egress window, but I was paralyzed, couldn't move.  Lisa woke me up, cause I was talking.  I will need to be brave.  The path is trust, the quid pro quo.  Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations.  The anger outburst was a tribulation.  I have been through trials.  One more left.  It is pre-determined, I will win, I have no doubt.  Not cause of my abilities, but because of my help.  The things I do you cannot see.  The things I do God sees.  With God all things are possible. 

And I thought I had nothing.

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

oops... ran 4.25 miles @ 8:44 pace.  I will double up today and run again.  4-6 I would assume.  :)

now for real cya!!  :)

Monday, September 13, 2010

You Know!!!

I really am sorry for all and every bad thing I do.  Like I said I wish I was perfect, but I am not.  I get angry, I get sad, I feel on top of the world, and I feel like a slug.  I get it all. 

You know what though??  I hope the best for all.  I really do.  I just am a bit crazy sometimes.  :)

Oh well, guess that is it again.

Hope you all are having a Great and Awesome Day!!!

I swear!!!  :)

til tomorrow.  :)

I am really tired, so taking a nap. 

now for real cya.  :)

Have a good night!!

Hope the day is going good too for you.

Hope your morning was good too.

Hope coffee was good too if you had it. 

Hope lunch was good, and also hope your feet aren't sweating as bad as mine.

Hope you have isopropyl alcohol on your shelf like I do right now.

Hope your walls are brown like mine are.  VEWY PWETTY!!!  :))


now for real cya!!!   :)

Hope you sleep good tonight, and tomorrow, and all that stuff.

O.K. now I am done.  :)


I suck at blogging when I am tired I think.  I didn't sleep well on Sunday.  It is because I sleep in probably, and still wake up really early.  My eyes were open before 1:00 am, and I got out of bed after.

Corrections.. A list perhaps.  :)

  • What people do always amazes me.
  • Talented people who do well at races just doesn't surprise me
  • They do it all the time.   Work very hard at it too.  :)
  • Obviously that is not me.
  • I have fun, and improve a bit
  • To each their own I say
  • We all just do what we enjoy.
  • I dont know why I was so mad last week.
  • Not worried though, cause all will work out.
  • Lisa obviously knows I blog, I told her about the blog post, she already knew about the blog.
  • If I could be perfect I would be, but I have moments too.
  • Guess we all do.
  • It is life, we are not perfect, and none of us expect us all to be.  
  • So sorry if sometimes I am a jerk, but you know my story.  a lot of you anyway.
  • I'd give up my password to my reader if people would find it interesting to read my journey.
  • I think this blog is good enough though.
  • hmmmm... guess that is.
  • people are pretty amazing, everyone is different. 
  • sorry I am weird at times, but that is how I am.  :)

That is it again for today!!!  :)
Thinking of doubling up my runs- 2-6 mile runs, one today, and one tomorrow.  I am so tired.

Hope everyone is having a great and awesome day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

Western Hemisphere Galaxy

Has more stars in it than coffee beans... so the theory goes.  :)

In some important news:
Ich fügte hinzu, der andere Zwilling's blog. Es ist gut, und Ich mag lesen. :)

I hope the translation is good.  :) 

Hold on, I am going to fill up with coffee before I get going.  I wike coffee early morning yanno!!  :)

So, what do I have today??  hmmm not much I don't think.  I'll start with the workout and go from there.  Crap, I didn't work out,  SHIT!!!  :)

I did ride my bike to the store and back, so I guess that is something. 

I did get my new shoes too, I was going to get them earlier, but I really hate shopping, and the thought of going to the store drove me bonkers.  :)  I felt the pavement on Saturday though, so I knew it was time.  No putting it off.  I went back to the Mizunos.  I like the Asics 2100 series better, but the Mizunos were on sale for $60.  I also got some Nike socks and inserts, so I am good to go. 

I'll check the mileage on my shoes.  ahhhhh, around 480 miles give or take.  Now I see.  :)  The pair before my Asics was Brooks, and I retired them from running at 970...ooops!!  :)  I still used them all this time for work however.  Now my Asics are my work shoes.  YAY!!!  :)

Today I run longish.  I am thinking 12'ish is the goal.  We'll see.  I am getting down to the end of my marathon training, so the legs are getting a bit tired.  Not too bad though. 

Lisa is painting the living room during her time off.  It is now a brownish color.  I like it.  I told her about my blog yesterday.  :)  It is the truth so whatevs right?  I could care less if any of those people like me.  They are mean to their employees anyway.  I might be relentless today.  :)  maybe not too, I might just keep to myself.  Hard to tell.  I am not going to work a long day.  That is fo sho.  I didn't sleep a lot last night, tossing and turning.  :)

Oh well, not much to report else today.  I don't think, thought I'd have more, but guess not.  I really had a good day yesterday.  I listened to the Avril Lavigne station on internet radio.  It played all good songs.  I should check out the Goo Goo dolls station too.  That is prolly good too.

I don't have much else today, so guess that is it.  :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. I went to a dinner party at Jeff Stark's house on Saturday night, it was fun.  :)  Little Cathy Fenton amazes me.  As part of her 20 mile day she got 2nd place overall in the 15K.  Other people I read are rock stars, so nothing they do amazes me. 

cya cya cya. 

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Well Shit!!

I did run yesterday so guess I'll blog.  :)

The run, was a run before the race.  My run was 1 hour and 1 minute give or take.  I think I probably went 7 miles, because it was kind of chilly, and I am sure I was going sub 9:00. I put 6.7 miles though.  I didn't measure it though, because I took a wrong turn, and had to be driven back on course.   :)

The race was a 15K course.  Not your typical 15K course, this had hlls steps 300 +  at the halfway point., trails, sand, hills, sand, rain, sand, trails, hills and things like that.  :)

My time was probably 9:00's or a bit slower.  I did have a couple thoughts about this run. 

  1. I need new shoes
  2. My quads were trashed from Wednesday
  3. I had absolutely no kick at the end
  4. I passed people on hills and steps
  5. I did not get passed on hills or steps
  6. I got passed at the end
  7. I didn't care
  8. I guess people do care about that
  9. I could care less.  :DDD
  10. I really really need new shoes

Wanna know something about my work at MENARDS???

My wife got suspended, when if she worked in receiving they would do a schedule change to stop the suspension.  :)  Aren't rules for all and not for what dept. you are in?  Wouldn't store managers get demoted if I called that 800 number thingy??

You know also my wife was dropped from full time to part time, because the office manager was angry she left at noon on a Friday so we could travel like she has done for 10 years prior??  You know my wife has worked for the store for like 17 years??  You know our front office staff all hate their jobs, and do a pathetic job even though they are in charge of a very small area??  You know the Store managers do nothing about it??

You know I will have to go into work Monday, and they may read this.  I don't care!!  :)

Guess I'll just not talk to them for another 6 months or so.  :)

They should all step down if they don't want to do their job.  I did.  I am poor, but at least I have my dignity.  :)

Ha Ha Ha!!

I deleted a bunch of friends on FB, but they weren't really friends... I don't think.  Most of them were probably never on as far as I can tell.  :)  220-73.  Now that is pretty impressive.  :)

I also got rid of people whose blogs  I read.  Just people who didn't feel the need to read me.  quid pro quo right??  You no read me I no read you.  Fair enough I think.  :)


guess this was a pretty honest post, although maybe I am in a bad mood.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

p.s. I am the one with the promise so I win!!  :)

come with, the journey ain't easy, but it is worth it.  If your with me it will be fun.  

guess that is it for today!!  cya!!  :)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Worms Made Of Leather

You are On the Hot Seat!!!

Um... that pilot isn't going anywhere.  Trust me.  :)

deleted, and reposting today.  Something bad happened in my eyes yesterday, which just pissed me off.
Still pissed today.

I think I am going to tell you some things about me today.  I told someone yesterday, the first time I told anyone I think.  I am not sure if I knew why I always did it, but I know now I guess.  You know why I comment so much???  Because when people pour out their hearts they want feedback.  It is hard to do I think.  If you pour out your heart, and no one says anything many times you can feel like people think you are an awful person.  Well, I e-mailed someone that.  I said in e-mail a lot of times I'll write stuff early morning, and suffer through it.  Good or bad I know not, and if I hear nothing, I MANY times think people think I am an awful person.  :)  The hard shit has never been the writing, the hard shit has always been enduring the days after letting my stuff out.

I said yesterday as confident as I am when I write my stuff, I am not always that way through the day.  at all...  I always try to comment when people let their hearts out, because that shit is hard.  I think it is good though.  People are never their best until they show you their weak side. 

Remember that Pink Floyd song from "The Final Cut"  ???

And if I show you my dark side,
Will you still hold me tonight?
And if I open my heart to you,
And show you my weak side,
What would you do?
Would you sell your story to ROLLING STONE?
Would you take the children away
And leave me alone,
And smile in reassurance
As you whisper down the phone?
Would you send me packing?
Or would you take me home?
Well I don't know, I don't know.  You don't know everything about me.
You have to step up. 
Someone is brave, because when you tell people you aren't strong
 is when you are your strongest. 
Guess what?? 
When you tell people you are weak 
you don't feel strong. 
If you can't be honest you are not strong.  :) 
I was in a great mood when I woke up, but something is off. 
Oh well the workout:
4 mile warm up @ shit... sub: 9:00 I totally forget.
6- 800's:
3:26-3:25-3:28-3:22-3:25-3:22  close to that.  6:49 pace total. 
Guess that is it for today!!!  :)
Hope You have a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)    kinda.  :) 
xo's!!!  :)
Love You All!!!   :)
ahahaaa!!  that kinda after the great and awesome cracks me up to be honest. 
 I am such a dick!!!  :)
shhhhh, about the dick part don't tell anyone!!   :)
Want to know a secret??  I saw the Sox lost, but I am afraid to see if the Twins won
 so not gonna check. 
now for real cya.  :) 

Holy FUCK!!

I am in a bad fucking mood.  FUCK!!

That is it for today!!  :)

Hope You All have A Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Ha ha Ha!! 

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


of the color gray do not use lampshades for eye liner... and other thoughts like that.  :)

So, I am the city dude.  Yesterday, as I was using my book to keep the sun out of my eyes so I could nap... (not really the intention but the actuality)... Cameron got his mouth on a seemingly mouse.  He keeps biting it and biting it.  I am yelling at him CAMERON!!!  CAMERON!!!  Then I ran in the house.  I told Lisa about it so she could get the animal.  It was a mole.  She asked what I did when I saw Cameron with the mole.  I told her I ran in the house.

I made her clean it up.  I don't know anything about that kind of crap!!  :)  She laughed her ass off when I told her I ran inside.  I am a tough tough man!!!  :)

Gonna List it out today, cause really I don't have much.... I don't think.

  • I loved yesterday's post
  • I loved yesterday's post
  • I like attention
  • I like giving people I like attention
  • When I first babysat Lora's newborn I knew right then and there I didn't want kids
  • That was after the hospital
  • Lora's boyfriend Billy died right before we met.
  • It broke her heart.
  • I helped her through that.
  • She helped me be honest
  • She had a pretty face
  • She was pretty big though
  • We hung out a lot and watched Country videos til the wee hours
  • I could have hung out forever in those days
  • That was before the summer before the hospital
  • Clint Black was one of her favorites
  • I listened to Clint Black last week
  • I don't think I slept enough today
  • I'll nap before speed work
  • I went into work late yesterday
  • on purpose
  • I don't give a shit I did that
  • :)
  • I love yesterday's post
  • One of my favorites I think
  • I am doing a lot of lists these days 
  • I don't know why that is.
  • You know if you don't tell people what you think they won't know.
  • That is what blogging is.
  • Just tell people what you think.
  • It isn't hard to do.
  • One of the triathletes I read Bri Gaal doesn't know me.
  • ever read me??  perhaps maybe not.
  • I like her post yesterday.
  • I said she probably thinks she wrote very little, but she wrote a ton.
  • I liked her one about dogs always being happy
  • Dogs always are
  • Even when they eat moles.  :)
  • I can make some long lists huh?
  • I guess that is it.
  • Everything is so simple for me to write in the morning.
You know what I like???

I like most days I want to write this!!!

That is it for me today!!!  :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!   :)

That is all she wrote  cya tomorrow.  You know the routine.... speed work, and 18 seconds of sleep, and 3.5 calories to replenish.  Thursday promises to be Fridayish probably.  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

If I Never...

live another day, I have been paid the most bestest compliment ever.  With help from google translator I found out the meaning of some french words.

You have my trust.... trust me

WOW!!  anyone ever tell you that?  No what I did in response?

I gave this person my username and password to view my deleted blog "Steve'e Journey"  This person felt uncomfortable, and deleted I think, but man oh man. 

For all the bad in the world, and the scared people, this is good.

You know what also??  I used Leigh's name on this blog, and she didn't care.  That also was a great compliment.  I don't know what people think.  I am like Adam walking in the garden Eden, between good and bad I know not.  How things are perceived I know not.  I know faith is a lot harder thing than one can imagine.  I see it with this blog. 

If you lie to me, you get knocked down some pegs in my eye.  That is why my list is "very" select.  Faith is not for the weak, faith is for the honest.  Honesty will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life.  Younger people are better at it, and typically girls are better at it.  Guys are some of the worst people out there.  :)

I went to Beau and Charity's last night, with Seth, Levi, Kevin etc...  The final effortless words goodbye were a hug and I love you.

We show each other everything, the good and the bad.  I know Beau and Charity's anger, and I know they are great.  They know people I dislike who live or have lived in this house, and they still love me, and I love them.  Seth is quite possibly the most patient nicest guy I know.  I know he still deals with pain.  Divorce, Dad dying, kids in Texas, who knows what else.  He works hard, and does no one any harm. 

I don't know what this blog means, and I don't know what people make of it.  I still wake up early, and I still add to it. 

It is easy for me.

I have come a long way.

I did this even during the journey.

If I never live another day it would be fine by me, because Olga paid me the best compliment ever, and I have friends such as Beau and Charity, and I love my right hand side, and some don't even like me.  :)

I think they do though, but have to battle some stuff.

If I never live another day I am fulfilled.

The best compliment ever would help me take a nail to each hand and both feet.  :)

Hard work doesn't make the world go round.  Love does.

The greatest GIFT!!


That my friends is it for today.

oh...  11.14 @ 9:10  :)  The greatest compliment made this pretty easy.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Hope Everyone Has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Monday, September 6, 2010


I am up, but I really have nothing to blog about.  :(   I am going to listen to the Dire Straits song "Why Worry"  Why??  because blogger Leigh likes it.  :)

It is a holiday weekend, so maybe I will do a list.

  • Labor Day = Fall
  • Leaves will turn colors and things will start to die.
  • Marathoners and racers love this weather.
  • I had a dream last night...
  • I wouldn't want my hands and feet pierced by a nail.
  • I wouldn't want to have my ribs broken
  • That was the easy part. 
  • Willingly
  • courage
  • I won't be going to Chicago til after my marathon, if then
  • When I don't hear from people I don't think they like me.
  • :)
  • Do I seem confident??  I am.... at times.
  • I put myself out there with this blog, to be liked, or to be ridiculed
  • Which way it goes.... I know not.
  • I do it anyway, because....  I can!!  :)
  • How out of nothing I can still come up with something is beyond me.  :)
  • Full Dislosure:
  • I don't use Google analytics, but I just saw this stats thing the other day.
  • This blog is internationalish.  Poland, Russia, Canada, South Korea
  • Doesn't get a ton of hits though.
  • I really couldn't care less
  • Rainforest got the most hits!!  :)
  • Makes sense.
  • Going semi-long today-- we'll see how long  10-13

That is it for me today!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Blueberries + Sharpie, or just stairway guides that help protect the feet??   hmmm....    :)

Not really sure if I have anything to blog about really, but I'll just play along, and see where it goes.  I am up anyway. 

So the run yesterday.  I was planning on grinding, guess what??  No grind.  It was all easy for me.  I had one of those days.  We started off, and I was standing outside, and it was cold.  I was like, I don't know how to dress for this kind of weather.  Short-sleeve shirt.  WOW!!  been a while, and I ended up with bloody nipples to prove  to myself I don't know how to run with a shirt on anymore.  It has been way too long.  I re-remembered after this day.  :)

So anyway, off I go at my own pace, which was a solo run pace for a bit.  After 4-5 miles The man with many first names and I went together.  Nothing really happened just clipping off the miles.  We got to the beach so the wind could spray the sand at us at 842 mph.  We decided that hurt, but looked on the bright side, and that is we wouldn't have to exfoliate when we get home.  :D    Not that I know what that is, but still found that to be a positive thing.  :)

So this is the 1/2 Marathon course, and around mile 10 it clicks, I start picking up the pace.  I don't pick up race day pace, but it is like in me to pick it up there.  At mile 11 I pick it up some more.  I am feeling good.  I am not going all out 5K pace, like I will on race day, but perhaps 25K pace.  Alan is stopped at the mile 12'ish marker.  I thought that was weird.  He had an easy way for us to tack on miles though.  Instead of going straight to the church, we can take a left.  Go all the way down and back is adding 6 miles, and Take a left at the church and go to the next light is 2 miles there and back.  I went home and mapped it.  It was exactly 8 miles.  I took it easy pretty much til our last water stop.  At 17.5 mile the legs were bouncing off the pavement.  The man with many first names fell back a bit.  He would grind out the rest of his miles to finish with 22.1  I took off.  I don't know what my pace was for the last 3.5 miles, but it was fast.  The legs were great  They kept going, and bouncing.  Really a great day for me.  No negative effects, and I napped til 3:00 p.m.  :)

21.1 @ 8:52  Good enough.

Like I said, I really don't have much today.   I finished my book, and it wasn't really sad like I thought it was going to be.  It was more just a pretty honest portrayal of a man's life.  Mistakes he made, people he hurt, and him feeling pretty bad he isn't perfect.  Wishing he didn't hurt people, but doing so anyway.  I am reading another of the guys books now.  "Norwegian Wood"  :)

White Sox sweep the double header to gain a 1/2 game on the Twins.  Sweep 2 in Boston.  Starting the road trip 5-0.  WOW!!  Now this here is a race!! 

That is it for me today!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

Congrats to all who managed to grind out your miles.  You will be stronger for it.  :)

Now that my friends is a wrap!!  :)

cya!!!  :)

Saturday, September 4, 2010


is the plan today!!

I am not really blogging today.  I slept in til 5:00 am.  Woo Hoo!!  5:00 am sleep in.  lol

Today we run the 1/2 marathon course.  I will sign up for this race this morning after this.  My plan is to grind.  Get the 13.1 miles in, come home and grind out my 8 mile loop.  I am under a new training idea.  No more path of least resistance for me.  Time to embrace the hard miles!!

Wish me luck I don't turn the 8 mile loop into a 4 mile loop.  :)

That is it for today!!!  :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)

I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.  :)

cya!!  :)

Friday, September 3, 2010


and other board game dessert sandwiches for the family to enjoy.  :)

I have a lot today, which is weird, because when I was laying in bed at 1:00 am, I thought I had nothing.  I want to clarify something from yesterday.  I was up blogging, because I was done sleeping.  Yes, I do this for a reason.  I don't know the reason why I need to get up so early, but I do it.  I did it the summer before the hospital too.  Up early early early.  Wake up next to my cat, and off I go.  I walked before work, work, and walked after work.  So anyway just in case you thought I was busting balls, because I really wasn't.  I wake up early for some reason to blog.  No clue why!!  :)  It is fun for me though. 

I read parts of the Journey last night.  I see it with different eyes today, then what I had back then.  It really wasn't a bad blog.  I sometimes felt like everything I wrote would be taken the wrong way, and a lot of times I would suffer throughout the day.  Remember my swimming times???  Ha Ha!!  Good thing I jacked my back and stopped swimming huh??  :)

I found this funny list from the blog, I want to post.  A list of 10!!  :)

  1. I like opening and closing Pine 6-panel doors in the summer time.
  2. I like wearing winter hats over baseball hats. 
  3. I like eating gum from the bottom of my shoes.
  4. I like going to bed at noon, so I can wake up and watch "LOST" (or would if I did it)
  5. I like cycling, swimming, and running around the world.  (At least 2-3 times each year)
  6. I like drag racing.  (only Ford Taurus or slower vehicles however.)
  7. I think the U.S. should import ALL their scarves from Winnipeg... oops (I would like that)
  8. I like reading with the lights off
  9. I like not setting my alarm for times I don't want to get up.
  10. I love spending a lot of time swimming teaching myself to be a slow swimmer.
Ha Ha!!  well it seemed funny last night anyway.   :)

So let's see, yesterday I biked to work and back.  At work not much happened, I just sorted and counted an aisle.  I like doing that.  :)   Weird I know.  I napped around 7:30 for 30 minutes or so.  hmmm.  Who cares about that really?

Is this hard?  Do you feel this blog asks you to do something?  Interesting things are happening this week.

Should I tell you all about it? 

Something is up huh? 

Things are different.  I will put up something Gina put down.  I can always throw her on here, cause well she is one of my bestest buds.  The 2 natural IM'ers are well, how long have I been reading you right?  That Janary??  Sunday approaching 2 years.  Man was that a great Sunday.  That is when I really started to improve.  I would have swam and swam and swam forever to get good at tri's.  My back got jacked, just cause they are too expensive.  Road races are what is for me.  I already had two bikes too, so I could cross train.

Anyway Gina said you gotta let the past go.  I disagree, you have to look at the past.  I think Jen Gray must know that.  I feel something is off, because.... well I haven't texted Gina all week.  I feel fine to be honest, but I think things are troubling some of you.  This is the hard part huh?  This you can do though right?  I have done it.  I came out fine.  Some things hurt sure, but like I said last night others have been through worse than you.  I bet Anne Frank walked bravely to her death.  She knew she was going to die.  I am sure she was scared, but she did it. 

You know I was once told to say no to a job promotion at the interview.  I prayed let me have the courage in the morning.  I told the 3 interviewers while I was trembling, and shaky voice, that God told me to say no, so take me off consideration for the job.  They thought I was nuts, and Khien didn't understand.  Can you imagine?  shaky voice, and trembly hands.  God said he would pull me out of everything... every web I'd get stuck into.  We are lambs led to the slaughter right?  We have no idea what we are doing, but we are shepherded.  That is what happens here huh?  We have help now. 

So I say to you, it won't be easy, You bloggers are the toughest of the tough.  You are the honest ones.  God plans on working through you.  Coincidence you are on my right hand side??  no way. 

Well, who knows!!  I sense things though.  Seems like you are being asked to do something scary right.  Truth is right.  How about that?  To be able to go through, and do something you know is 100% right.  What a great gift that is.  Being honest sure is a great gift he gave us.  We are imperfect, so some of our truth may not be that great.  Living in the light means showing our good and our bad.  :)

I don't know what this means to all of you.  I have a feeling you knew something like this was coming though huh?  It is raining where I am now.  I know a hard day. 

Welp, guess that is about it for today!!  :)

Hope you have a Great and Awesome day!!  :)  (I know it will be a hard one for some)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

Be strong and be courageous!!  You got this!!!

Remember Johnny Garcia's last lap,  He waved me off, and said, I got this!!  Didn't want to know his time, and threw down his fastest lap.  You guys got this!!!  You are the toughest of the tough. 

Good luck, but I think you will do great!!  There is a great cloud of witnesses or something like that right.  Others have gone this way before.  You will do fine. 

cya tomorrow... in a sense!!!

Have a good one!!!  :)