Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Where Do We Go From Here?

One of the best things about being me is if I have nothing to write about, I can just write about my thoughts.  Things I am thankful for, and how my life is. 

My long term goals in life = none.  I have nothing I really want to accomplish.  I don't want to be President, although I toyed with advanced degrees in Law and Economics to do that one time, but other plans were made.  If the highest attainment of wisdom is to eat drink and be merry for that is your lot in life, than maybe I am there.  Am I wise??  Good question what is wisdom anyway??  I know there is knowledge,  wisdom, and understanding.  Understanding was always the goal.  Like I put in my notebook many many many years ago, it is hard to see how great Job was unless you walked in his shoes.  I understand a bit about Job, and know his toughest ordeal.  I will not go into it, because it doesn't matter.  I try to have my heart open for all to see.  Why??  God sees it anyway.  We try to hide from him, when he knows it all.  All our good and our bad.  We try to hide the bad, because we think it is too bad for him.  Guess what?? It isn't.  I think some steps are hard.

My Summer of Discontent was a summer in search of understanding.  It is the only thing I cared about.  I didn't know how to get there.  I walked and walked and walked, but was told that meant nothing.  It was still something to do I guess, as I was up early anyway.  It was a lone personal journey.  One I made mostly out of fear.  I knew of all the people I was the farthest away from heaven than anyone.  I was a scribe pharisee and hypocrite.  I was judged, so I searched.  I knew I did right, but every day felt I was bad.  I always believed the bad in me.  Faith hopes all things endures all things and believes all things.  How you going to seem sane if you believe all things, and there is one who constantly lies??  So I needed help.  I had help that summer, I had help at the end of the journey, and I have help now.  This one is a bit easier.

Wanna know something of the dog in the mole story out back a week or so ago.  I cannot help think that was me.  A mole was trying to ruin what we were doing.  My anger killed the mole.  So yeah, I believe all things, and now we are back on track.  I have a good set of eyes, but still miss stuff. 

I didn't tell you about my dream did I??  One was of taking a nail to each hand and both feet.  I was afraid.  I also had a dream someone was outside our egress window, but I was paralyzed, couldn't move.  Lisa woke me up, cause I was talking.  I will need to be brave.  The path is trust, the quid pro quo.  Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations.  The anger outburst was a tribulation.  I have been through trials.  One more left.  It is pre-determined, I will win, I have no doubt.  Not cause of my abilities, but because of my help.  The things I do you cannot see.  The things I do God sees.  With God all things are possible. 

And I thought I had nothing.

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!  :)

oops... ran 4.25 miles @ 8:44 pace.  I will double up today and run again.  4-6 I would assume.  :)

now for real cya!!  :)

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