Monday, March 11, 2019

Woah Baby I Am Tired.

So last night I didn't sleep through as late as I should. I don't know why. My Sunday was good. I got all my shit done, work was fine. I am up showered, and ready to start my day, but now I feel tired.

So tired I just woke up from a little cat nap.

So, anyway I have today off. I'll get my workout in pretty soon. A day off with nothing to do is pretty sweet. Sorry for those of you who have kids. You don't know of these types of days.

Actually you currently are getting your kids ready for school or will be shortly. How fun. Monday mornings are so fun.

Yesterday I got most of the next book in my series done. I've been flying through books since I started listening to them. It's just entertainment. 

Not much really going on with me. Another day is here. Another day with me not having to worry about much. I may watch movies. Maybe go shopping for things I don't need. Maybe clean my basement. Maybe none of those things.

To be free in life is not anything a person can make. To be free in life your heart has to be content in your days. We have no control of our hearts so we are powerless to feel free. It's why your life is full of shit you don't want to do.

You set out to create your ideal life,  but unknown to you it is impossible. It's your heart that does not stay consistent day in and day out. Some days you feel good about stuff, but sometimes life is a grind I suspect.

We all want a feeling of peace. That everything is okay, but it is our hearts that don't always feel that way. Maybe yours rarely/never does. There must be someone to blame for this difficult existence. The powers that be have screwed us somehow. Your heart is not able to feel content on its own. You cannot create such a thing. I can only imagine the shit that goes through people's minds.

I was thinking earlier of just my silly shit I did in my life. A lot of stuff I forgot. A never ending string of stuff one would not consider being the actions of a Saint.

Can you imagine how I could have ended up if I didn't go the way I did? I would have judged all kindsa people for being bad, and not saintly people. When in my mirror is plenty of evidence I am not better. What a hypocrite I would have turned out to be.

I was able to learn farther so I see all our shortcomings. Why we cannot be the type of people we'd like. We are born here pretty lost souls. So many will never find the way out of this hard existence. Their end will be of anger,  and hypocrites. Even that too you are powerless to change about yourself.

The World told you are a special and an amazing being. The truth suggests otherwise. We are not special,  and we aren't better than others. We have shit inside us that makes us less than we'd like, just like others.

It takes help to look at ourselves clearly. If we don't we really end up being worse people than who we can be.

Today though I have a day. I think I'll go work out now. 

Laterzzz.     :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.       :)))

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