Remind me, I have to add a title to this entry. I could not think of a title for the life of me. Just sitting there looking at the wall. I thought I somehow overslept, or didn't hear the alarm. I thought my watch said 3:15, but I can't see shit without my reading glasses on. It was only 2:15. I woke up from a deep sleep too, so you always feel tired then. I was tired last night. I fell asleep after dinner like 6:15 PM. I think I was tired cuz I drove. Around 20 miles each way to my BIL's house. Dropped off a couple couches, and checked out the finished product of his new house. I don't drive much. Not far when I do either.
Other than that yesterday was pretty normal. I worked, had over 25,000 steps, ran and biked. There wasn't much on my mind yesterday. I didn't think of anything really. Another day gone though. They keep coming. I kept forgetting the NCAA tourney started yesterday. I didn't do a bracket, so I guess I am completely retired from guessing/studying sportsing things. Not that I do anything real important in its place, but that part of me is over.
In life there aren't really any important things to do. We are powerless about so much. We want to make ourselves better, but our heart does it's own thing. Maybe people want to make the World better, but how? I think many deeds are selfish deeds pretty much. In the end we don't make any dents. We may want to feel like we are special, but we are not. We are here living day after day, and not really doing anything of consequence. Really just putting in our time.
We don't come out without flaws either. We did "wrong" stuff. It is kinda important we look at true shit like that. We aren't coming out perfect, and either is anyone else. Kids included. Hopefully kids don't turn into mass murderers, and farm animal molesters. I'm innocent on the murder one. ;)
I wonder if the World has always been so angry. As a kid I don't remember being angry. As a grown up everyone seems angry about something. I guess wars have been fought forever so I guess people have always been angry.
Seems stupid right? One life, and everyone is ready to have one taken. Everyone is holding onto some type of shitty information as their truth. A prisoner of some type of propaganda. The World does not know the truth, and it is kinda impossible to not be a student of the World. I was, until a turn, and whoops, life is different than anything I imagined.
I thought I was special I guess for a brief time, and quickly after I was put in my place. Now I am reconciled I guess. Instead of an enemy I am accepted. So I am secure. The worries all taken away.
It really is a crazy story. One that's been hidden for a while. Pretty strange really. I know people don't get it. I learned long ago to not trust in my own understanding. I knew my heart did not have understanding. The formula is easy. Am I the best a person can be? No. Therefore I do not have understanding.
It's easy for me to judge cuz I've had a small taste of what it will be like to be the best a person can be. I am nowhere near that point. I know where you stand on that equation too. Just not sure if you do.
Anyway I spose.
Life is strange kinda. People can be a trip.
I gotta run. I hope to be nearer to 30,000 steps today.
Laterzzz. :)
xoxo. :)
xxoo. :)
Byeeeee. :)))
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