Sunday, November 27, 2016

This Is An Unfortunate Time.

I have today off. I did not really plan on waking up at 2:00 AM, sit in bed for an hour,  and then get up. If I was working that would be perfect. I am not working though.

Anyway yesterday I had a day. It started with a run. The run was not easy. I ran hard at the turkey trot for 4.97 miles,  and my legs were sore.  I planned on just running 8 miles for my step down week. My quads were not too happy. Of course I had to poo around 4 miles in. I wiped with dry leaves,  which gave me a nice diaper rash feeling all the way home. I stopped running at 7.6 miles,  cuz my legs were wanting to run less and less. The quads were toast. It was a challenging run. I came home showered off my diaper rash which hurt like Hell. Running is very glamorous.

I worked. They didn't get a frozen load I don't think on Thanksgiving so I couldn't change much on the  endcaps. I worked as much overstock as I could.

I watched sportsing,  and made lasagna. Sportsing is pretty dumb. I don't even know why I watch. The game I watched the losing coach was a sore loser,  and the winning coach danced on the field like a 5 year old girl. Pretty dumb.

Things coaches and players don't know is there are no points for these activities. There are no points for me running. There are no points for all the activities done under the sun. It all is filed under shit people do.

There are no points for TV watching,  no points for whatever career you decide to do. Even if your career is collecting money on Sundays to make people think they are washing their sins away. As a matter of fact there are negative points in that career choice, cuz those people are false teachers.

I've said all that before. The path I took actually there are points attached to it. None really you can see here and now,  but my points are collected elsewhere. Held in safe keeping where no one can take them.

I've done this thing here to try and lead people along. Very unsuccessfully too. A failure really,  but that is how it was going to be. I didn't know that.

As this has gone on though I owe people less and less. In the wilderness nothing really matters. My deeds have been accepted,  and I am free to do as I choose.

Many are at the mercy of my heart I guess, and my heart is in the wilderness. You'll have to be strong to remain on this path,  but I feel most/all have fallen away already.

That is fine too,  cuz what people do has no bearing on me.

I am just a person whose life went in a different direction than just the normal day to day.  The search for truth helped me find there are no Saints. That is probably what people can't accept. There is a gap between who we are now, and what is possible. The best a person can be. You'll never bridge that gap if you think you already achieved it. You'll never bridge that gap if you think your life is important. You'll never bridge that gap if you believe fairy tales happen in life.

People don't want the truth.  They hide from it.  You'll have to be strong to remain in this game, cuz I am done with the BS.

Anyway today I'll take Hope,  do the leaves,  see a movie and have dinner.

Cya later.

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