Tuesday, July 14, 2015

So Many Decisions...

Since I wake up 3 hours before I have to go into work there is a lot I can do in the morning. I can sleep if I want, and I contemplated it this morning, but I probably got enough sleep. I can have a cup of coffee, but throughout the years I have come to the conclusion coffee does nothing for me. I may have an occasional cup, but it really does nothing for me.

I contemplated not doing this too, because let's face it, it seems like such a waste of time.

So I guess I'll do what I typically do a lot. I'll jot something on here, take Hope for a little run, and bike to work. Biking to work is fun. A little more fun than biking home.

So what is this blog. And what does it do??  It is a story of life, and unfortunately the true story of life. The World always made everything seem so easy huh??  There are a billion little niches you can clothe yourself in, and they are ALL good right??

It isn't really a story of good and bad, life is all about points, and the problem is it all amounts to zero points. You have a chance to get in the game, and score points, but you stay on the sidelines, because ???

For a couple reasons or maybe many. One you don't believe me. Two you are so tied up in your life you don't trust there is a good way out. Trust is hard huh??  I get that, because how can a heart be changed??  How can you be made different if it is nowhere in your power to do so?

Security in numbers??  That is a grave mistake, because the numbers are not good at all. One just has to look at the stories. You may say not fair, and I get it, but we don't know is the seriousness of the situation. The stories should explain to us the seriousness, but our hearts cannot comprehend it. Our hearts are of this World.

As for me I have lived the seriousness of life. I've faced the worst things one can face. I lived in complete fear. My whole being was a life of living in fear. I've faced my condemnation. Really I just faced the truth of life, because that was my path.

In seeking out a better version of me, I went on a path I had no idea I would go on. Not a clue.

I just cannot even explain. I remember being told remember your journey, you will not do it again. Funny how that was said, because during the dead years I could not articulate it at all. Eventually that door was opened, and it was time to tell the story.

I know it is easier for you to stay on course with your current life, cuz it seems secure. Just realize this is just the calm before the storm, and really you are not secure at all.

You have been warned. In the end you are lucky and unlucky I guess. One is you have me and this blog. Two is you are without excuses. You have only one correct route, and if you don't take it you chose the World. Not everyone had someone like me to tell the truth.  Heck, I didn't have me. I was solo the whole way. In the end I had help, and really a lot, but I didn't always know it. Maybe just so I knew in the end it wasn't me who saved me.

I was obedient though, cuz to not be would be more scary, especially after the garbage room at Bromenn Healthcare.

Anyways, I guess that is it.


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