Thursday, December 29, 2011

No Matter What...

I think no matter what we do in life there are struggles.  There is no golden brick road to "the good life"  There is no such thing as "the good life"  Girls get older, and they don't always feel good about it, because there is always another hot 14  ughhh.   18 year old to take their place.  :)  All your life there is nothing but challenges with school, surviving puberty, decisions of what to do after H.S.  None of which are easy, and somehow we are supposed to have everything figured out by the time we are 18.  I guess we think society will lead us in the way we need to go.  Do this, and this, and this, graduate college, and boom, enter the good life.  Well, it don't really work that way does it??  No matter which avenue, or which direction we go we have challenges.  Not every day will go as well as you would like, and your life may not go as well as you like.  Then you add in your own insecurities, and imperfections, and that is a lot to worry about in one day.  Some people don't think about these things, and sweep it under a rug, but this is real life.  There are a billion things to think about in a day, and a billion things to ponder. 

So I think it is a good idea to accept life as a challenge.  Face it head on.  You will not win at life.  It will try to beat you seemingly in every direction, so stay strong.   Ride the waves up and down, and realize we all are headed in a good direction. 

Well, I really don't have much today so I will tell you a story.  It is a story of when I used to work in the hospital.  I was going home for a wedding, and this mind you was a time of much thinking, and feeling pretty low.  I already made the turn at this point, but was waiting.  I went home to a wedding, where I would see a bunch of my H.S. friends.  I was a college graduate who just went through some things, which have been documented, and I was cleaning floors and bathrooms at a hospital.  Now my eyes saw things, and they saw Khien the guy who escaped the North Vietnamese jail.  There was no one more meticulous in stripping and scrubbing floors.  No one who took greater care in doing a great job in his seemingly menial tasks day in day out.  He was my supervisor at the time.  My eyes saw, and I came up with a certain logic.  Mind you, I have no  idea what I want to do with my life.  Life steered me in a direction where I wanted to matter, but didn't know how.  I am just this dude sitting on an island in my own mind by myself.  I thought, well you know I could do this stuff.  If I did my job to the best of my ability, no matter how dumb it seemed, then maybe I would be recognized, and then maybe even I would be asked to do it for the President one day.  Not high goals in a manner of speaking, but striving to be the best at whatever it is I do.  Now mind you in my heart was a desire to work at this stuff.  Everything I did at work I did to the best of my ability.  No job was too dumb, and no effort wasted, because everything was important.  My heart was all in. 

Now that has to be reconciled during my year after the hospital when I had that physical depression.  My heart wanted to be in like it was before.  The energy, and the desire, but it was a lost year.  As I was buffing a floor up somewhere in the hospital the lost year ended.  I knew right when it happened.  I was like WOAH!!!  I am back.  I was like a child at recess.  I had the blessing, and nothing I could do is wrong.  No matter what I do it will lead in a good direction. 

During some of my hard days I endured during Heimleblog and Journey I forgot this, but was reminded I think early on in the wait. 

Even last night when I was watching a movie, and I was a bit nervous, I even had other reminders, which make me remember. 

Does this mean anything to you??  I don't know, but it is my story.  It is me, how I came to be here, and how I came to do this. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  ran to work, and Lisa and I saw a movie, and had dinner.  A pretty good day. 

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D  

1 comment:

Christi said...

Your blog post speaks to me today. I am in the middle of my of own crisis. I struggle on a daily basis to get out of bed and get to work. I have no desire to do anything and wish that I could just stop. I know I can't so I go on. The journey right now is real but it is sure fuckin' hard!