Some things I am thinking about now is this. I am not overcome with grief or anything like that. It was my brother Jim, and you know I wasn't seeing a lot of him year over year. Part is my personality. I would commute to work in the snow, ya know. When I first started at Menards in Normal, IL, I didn't have a a car. I walked to work and back... well to work, to bar, and then home. I'd have a couple beers with other regulars at the bar I frequented. We will say 2 miles or so each way. Whatever comes my way, I figure I'll overcome some way, but I have help with that ya know?? Always believe the positive especially now.
Jim lived with me during this time I believe, and was getting his groove. Got a good job I believe, and was getting his shit in order. I don't know what happened. He switched girlfriends, one he was engaged to, and things changed. I don't know why he moved back to Chicago, I thought that was dumb. Anyway with the exploding internet, we remained pretty close with the baseball stuff, and fantasy sports stuff. I read every important book I could on baseball, and annual publication. Shoved myself with every players pertinent stats. Major League, and upcoming stars still in the minors.
I constantly re-invent myself so it seems. I took up biking and running, and stepped down from my Management position after my first trip to Hawaii. Why bust my balls more and more for less and less. Stupid right?? I can do a good enough job of not getting ahead in a non-management position. I thrive on this shit, trust me!!! lol :)
To see Jim gain weight I didn't understand so much. I don't think he shared much stuff, at least with me. Anyway I wanted to share some things about me right now. How I am feeling and stuff. I typically am positive about things. Now I have two major things going on right now. The death of my brother, and a long time runner not running anymore, due to injury. Sciatic is death to a runner. So, my eating had to take a hit. You switch from a big eater to a little eater. It takes a while for your appetite to adjust to your activity level. Here is something that is a bit concerning. Food tastes blah. Even an alcohol buzz is kinda blah. I used to like to get a bit of a buzz and listen to music, and it has lost some of its luster. I am just going to put that down as a normal thing. Who can tell how much is from one, and how much is from the other?? Day by day we will see how this shit goes.
So if I am not at my best please forgive me. :)
Here is one more thing I want to say or tell really. With Steve R's thing I got to know people better. Whether it be Doreen, and Gina, Jen Gray, and the Millers. How about them Millers though huh?? I didn't tell you I don't think, but John Miller's mom recited a poem at Jim's thing. WOW huh?? What a great lady huh? I forgot Jim and Laura were pretty close. Laura shared with my brother John and I yesterday how her and Jim would stay in touch every couple of years. Jim had some life long friends. Everyone remembers his laugh and his sense of humor.
So, anyway I do want to say I am not overcome with grief, but you know my body is sensing change. I think I am losing weight even though I am not running. I can always tell when my wedding ring slips off my finger. I am going to say that is just a normal thing. Once again day by day.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I think I am going to need to get a book at the library todayyyyyy. I feel like reading, I think. :)
Love You All!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
You all are the best!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Doreen and Jules (why??? cause I like Doreen, and whoever is important in her life) :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Jen Gray (why??? she is a blogger and she helped pick me up, and she is rockstar famous in my eyes) :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo (she is the xoxoxoxoxo girl anyway) :)
Gina (why??? we shared a lot of stuff after Steve R's thing.... a lot, and her sense of humor is as wicked as mine, and she can be a bitch, which I love that shit. Cracks me up. ) She is the xo's girl too. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
More for the rest of you tooooooooo!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya!!!! :D :D btw the double D is for Olga, and she only reads this like every couple weeks if that. :) lol.
Have a great day today. I love you all!!! :)