Wednesday, April 13, 2011


I am going to try and get everyone on here, but I may forget some, run out of time, or whatever.  Just so you know I want to thank you all for the kind comments, and thoughts.  I know loss is so personal, and it is really hard to know what a person feels.  I tell you though there were more than a couple times when I was checking my phone at work... [off the clock].  ;)  and lost it.  I thought for a moment, oh geez, maybe I shouldn't have come to work.  I would walk away and collect myself.  Everything went pretty normal at home.  I replied to most of the messages I believe, and I am thankful for them all.  I stopped over by Beau's house, and we had a few beers, and talked about life, and stuff.   When I got home is when I lost it big time.  I put on the Supertramp Pandora station.  Supertramp was one of Jim's fave groups, and it hit me, I will never see him again.  His life is over, and I realized all his life entailed.  Madonna my real mom called, and I called her back.  She and my Dad talked yesterday.  First time in 1000 years maybe, and I think they are both doing o.k.  She said remember the good times, and I cried those are the ones that hurt the most.  I told her Jim made us all laugh.  :)  Fuck that shit hurts.

Here are a couple thoughts I had.  This is mine.  This is my sadness, and no one elses.  That made me feel good, because it seemed more clean.  I knew me crying and unloading I was not going to be taken down a bad road.  This sadness was healing for me.  I told Lisa we only get a little at a time, but I realized we get a pretty big dose first off.  I was thankful to be able to feel a bit of what Jen Gray is going through.  It has been a long while since I have mourned a death, and time heals, and you lose that understanding.  So, I can more empathize with those who have lost recently.

So once again thanks to all the kind comments.  You know when I think of Steve R's thing I always think of John Miller and Beth Rose Mickel as the leaders of that thing.  You know like John was his best friend, and Beth was his sister.  I didn't know Steve near as well as a lot of people, but we all got to know him on that day.  It really was a great service, and I will always remember it.  Beth, John, and Steve's dad all spoke, and it was great.

I like putting names on this thing, and I'd like to put a couple that don't make it a lot.  Nino Mandile, and Tim Lindquist thanks for the comments.  I played soccer with Nino, and his brother Vince a million years ago.  His dad was our coach for a couple teams I think.  We even went up to Canada when I was like 15 maybe, or something like that.  I was able to score a winning goal HUNG OVER AS HELL.   I stopped puking enough to play a game.  Who knew a 130 pound guy can't drink a qt. of gin in an hour???  lesson learned.  :)  Tim is a good guy if for no other reason than he likes the Sox, and the Blackhawks.  :)

Thank you Dave Prins, and Sue White.  Sue I have worked with forever, and she has the same sense of humor as I.  Dave has been a friend of mine since I moved here, and he has had a real SHITTY year, probably several years.  Thanks for taking time out.  It is appreciated.

Thanks Gene Carr, Nancy Close, Maureen Miller, Carol Booth, and Jenny Raby.  You guys rock.  :)  ALL the Chihak's.  I'd mention you all, but you have way too many last names.  Melanie, and Steph, I know the best, and always have good thoughts of them.  They lost their brother recently too.

Thanks Christie as always.  :)  xoxo

Nikkie VandenHeuvel.  I don't know how to spell that shit, but whatevs.  She cracks me up, and she is funny as hell.  I worked with her husband, and my wife had a crush on him.  :)   lol.  thanks.

Lori "Sujack" Smith my best friend summer before my Junior year.  She is always wonna my favs.  :)

Kim Sheridan of course I think the world of her.  I respect her as much as anyone, and her and Tia are on the top of my pedestal list.  :)  She has a heart that is huge, and she cares a ton.

I told Tia yesterday her story made my other two blogs.  The ones that no one read.  :)  She lost her sister Tammy Rae to a 9/11 plane thing.  On her way to take a new job coaching Gymnastics, so Tia knows the loss of a sibling as well as anyone, and I think she can tell you all you never forget, but with time brings healing.

If I forgot anyone I am sorry.  Oh, childhood friends,  Michele Theriault and Joe Moravec.  They knew him as well as anyone, because we all lived by each other, and we all played at some point in time.  Our lives always go on different paths, but we all come together at times like this.  I feel bad for the ICBL'ers, the baseball league guys, because I know that shit hits hard.  You don't expect to lose one of your own.  Some fucking funny guys in that league.  Trust me, if you don't have a wicked sense of humor you don't want to show up for geek weekend.  Where the games are played head to head.  a lot of beer, a lot of farting, some wiffle ball, a lot of laughing,  and even a bit of sleep here and there.  :)

Nate too who has lost a lot.  His wife.  

I feel bad for my Dad, and my Mom.  No matter what that shit still is hard.  To lose your own.  Yikes, I feel for them.  I feel for my Uncle Bob too, because he helped Jim out so much, and he is such a patient man.  I tell you he has helped us Pejchls out more than we have helped him.

Gina, Doreen, and Jules.  You girls always make it, but you know I love you TONNNNSSSSSS!!!

MWAHHHH!!!!   to you all!!!   :)

John I guess will deal with this loss personally too.  All loss really is personal, and it is just ours really.  Jim's life well, it is no more here.  I still feel him though inside me, and that is good.  When we die only the good remains.  That is a gift I guess.  :)  When we die God takes all the bad away, and leaves us with good.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I am taking a break from reading blogs.  I'll catch up later.

Love you All!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best!!!   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Doreen and Jules  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Jen Gray  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gina, Kim S. and Tia.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Beth Rose Mickel, because she put xo's on my wall.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

sorry guys too weird xo'ing guys.   xoxoxoxoxoxo  anyway.   lol

More for the rest of you.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D   :D


Kim said...

Steve, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Christi said...

Thinking of you Steve!