Wednesday, August 25, 2010

If I Had 2 Hairnets, and 3 Bobby Pins I Would Be In Montana Now!!

For the record this is most definitely a Title first see where it takes me kind of case you were wondering.  :)

Not much done yesterday.  I was tired at work, so took an early 34 minute nap at 7:00 am'ish.  I was off the clock this time, usually I am not.  Ha Ha!!  j/k.  Really not much to report on yesterday.  I worked, biked to work and back, and cut the grass. 

There were some things I thought of, and I guess this is where it will take me on this post.  Lisa was dropping Hailey off, and this is Hailey's decision.  This is what she wants now.  I guess if we could all live Jack Kerouac's life for a bit we'd try it huh?  Where they will be staying they will have no money, no access to money, and not even sure if they will look for jobs.  They will live like vagrants, bums.  Not that there really is anything against that.  People fall on hard times.  I would imagine the Enron workers fell on some pretty hard times.  It didn't have to be this way.  The care free life was the lure, and they are following it.  You all know where this ends.  Life's hard lessons. 

I would say Hailey is in the position I was when I graduated college.  I asked that question.  What now.  Or as I put in a previous post What am I to do?  I had no idea.  I had no interest in doing my resume believe it or not.  I had a full time job cleaning hospital floors.  I really had no idea what I wanted to do. 

I was searching.  I was "Into The Wild" searching in the town of Normal, Illinois.  Really in my head.  I graduated in 90, and Katrina and I broke up in 91.  My mom must have died step-mom Dec, 26th 1990.  So from the time of my graduation til the time of my step-mom's death was a little over 7 months.  In that time, I found out she was going to die of cancer.  In a relatively short time.  My second taste with death. (first was dog Toby)  More ways for me to look at things.  I saw my step-mom in the hospital ballooned up with water weight.  Someone fucked up somewhere.  I remember no one in the hospital seemed to care.  Not even the newish doctor.  More things for me to think about. 

So here I am on my own, working, and working hard.  I thought of Khien Pham.  Escapee of a North Vietnamese prison.  He was very patient, and took care in his work.  It was a paycheck yes, but he did a very thorough job.  Something as unimportant seeming as stripping, waxing, and buffing floors.  He was better at his job then the Doctor, that is for sure, but Khien had the learning of life.  The Doctor had the learning of books.  The one who pulls the strings of life is the better teacher for those who have eyes, and those who have ears.  We all have them, we just have to use them.  Khien was probably very much like Ho Chi Minh, although they were on different sides.  The Doctor was probably like the guys we propped up in South Vietnam.  Remember a dead Ho Chi Minh would have won any election in Vietnam over anyone we propped up. 

Anyway my Grandpa died in August of 1991, and my girlfriend Katrina and I broke up August 15th 1991.  We tried to work it out, to no avail.  Lora and I became friends shortly after this.  I confessed my embarassing confession to the cute little blond not too long after that.  That Autumn actually. 

I had a discussion, a conversation.  I will wait to tell you about that.  It was during this time where I saw the eye of the needle.  Shortly after the conversation.  Conversationish.  Really in my head. 

Eventually what I said is if there is some reason I am on this Earth let me do that instead of anything else.  I do, and I did.  I saw many miracles only showed to me.  One night I was to go search.  I was to search for an answer.  Something was going to be told to me.  I walked around the track, walked, walked, walked.  The answer came.  Diligence, perseverance, steadfastness, patience, and one other.  were the building blocks of faith.  I forget the one other.  I kept searching, searching, around the track, but I couldn't stay awake.  My work that night was done.  The night in the hospital when I thought I was going to die, I also couldn't stay awake, my work that night was done.  No one saw the work, but God.  The building blocks are also part of the Robin story.  I misread it that summer, but figured it out this summer.  The worm too. 

My brother Jim saw my eyes that night.  He said they looked like Mom's death eyes.  I was broken in front of my friends.  That was my job.  I was blessed right prior to going in the hospital.  In the entrance of the old people's home section.  Bromenn Healthcare.  The same hospital I would be spending 6 days.  I would have only had to spend 3, but the Doctor was gone on that July 4th holiday.  They gave me animal tranquilizers.  My brother Jim had a dream the next day.  The next day after me being in the hospital.  Lora, who I totally didn't even talk to, as a test of my obedience, came and visited me the next day.  She knew, was told, it wasn't because of her.  More to come!!  :)

WOW!!!  A lot came out there huh?? 

That is it for today!!!  :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

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