As long as I've been doing this I don't recall it ever being light out at 3:00 AM. I am getting old though so not sure how much I would count on my memory.
Anyway. How's it going? Me, I am doing good. We got our new fridge yesterday so that's cool. Ours was done. Toast as it were. Nice to have a good functional one for the next 8-12 years. Our other one lasted probably a decade give or take. It feels good to get that done.
Not much else going on with me. Just day to day things that occupy my time. It is like I do work. A couple things here and there. Dinner at some time and then sleep.
I have a feeling most people put some type of value in our day to day labor. It's just shit we do. We have to make money, and live somewhere. It's the way of the World. You have to be a part of the World to live in it. It just so happens no points come from your labor you do in the World. No matter how hard you try. It matters to you in a way, but in the end it doesn't.
Life is full of hard truths few find out about. I found out about them. My life was set apart to learn these things. Then I was supposed to teach these things. What I've done has fallen on deaf ears so we went in the wilderness. In the wilderness hearts are cold. No one really cares. There is no meaning anywhere really. Nowhere to get a foot hold. In the wilderness I become very much indifferent to a lot. Especially when people place value where there is none. All our guilty.
I was too. Don't worry. We all are guilty thinking we and our lives are important. It is just time we are putting on this Earth. People rack up their trophies, and diolomas, and accepted things we gather from other people. Compliments and smiles.
Life is a hard hard thing cuz we were born here wrong. It takes much to make us right and better. It also is out of our power to do it too.
Perhaps the worst curse is being born in this World, cuz it takes much to overcome our lot. I have overcome my trials with help. I would not have made it on my own. Others haven't even done anything. Once again I cannot help you at all. You have to make the right steps, and I know your tough position.
If everything is wrong than you have a pretty doozy of a Web. That is known. Everything is possible, but not left to your own devices. Then pretty much nothing is in the important things.
You have to take the trip. You have to be willing even if your heart is scared and unsure.
I am glad I did my shit early and long ago. Where you stand now is hard. That much I know.
Anyway. Today will be another day.
Should be fun.